Sparring Session
by SciFiRN
Summary: Sam's power comes from being tainted with demon blood, but what if there was someone out there with powers from the other side? What happens when her past collides with the boys' future? Horror/Drama/Romance/ANGST...M for sexual content. CODA UP.
1. Sparring Session

_"When your desires are strong enough, you will appear to possess superhuman powers to achieve." Napoleon Hill_

She woke suddenly, her open eyes the only thing moving as she scanned the darkness of the room. She sensed, more than saw the form just inside the door and she made a soft sound as she rolled to her side facing away from the door. Her hand slid under her pillow for the hunting knife she knew was there. When her palm covered the hilt of the knife, she continued her movement and stood facing the door in a fight stance, her weight balanced on the balls of her feet ready for a fight.

She wasn't prepared however for the unusually strong hand that landed on her shoulder, or the blow that knocked the knife from her hand when she spun and thrust the blade into what should have been her attacker's kidney. Her attacker pivoted and she found herself on her back staring up at the biggest pain in the ass she had ever met.

"Ahh, I'm flattered, a pretty, little knife, just for little ole me. It's a shame you still don't know how to use it." He smirked as he held out a hand to help her up.

She smiled, took his hand and as he altered his center of gravity she twisted and managed to pull him down beside her. She immediately threw her legs over his chest and pinned his arms to his sides.

It was her turn to smirk down at him. "Well, if I would have known it was you I would have been sure to use my 9mm." She smiled sweetly and pulled the gun from the holster she had wedged between the bed and the nightstand.

Dean glanced at the gun and laughed, "Fine, but two things."

"What…?" The girl brushed brown bangs out of her eyes, sighed, and rolled her eyes.

"First, the safety is still on and second…" He pulled his hand out from under her knee and reached into the pocket of his leather coat, "…I already took your clip."

She gave the gun a disgusted look and deliberately dropped it, barrel down on his chest.

"Ouch! That hurt." Dean rubbed on his sternum and glared up at the girl atop him. "What the hell did you do that for?"

Logan gave Dean a dazzling smile and then leaned over him so that she could whisper in his ear. "Because…" she breathed out sending small chills down Dean's spine that somehow managed to center in his groin, "it gives me the chance…" She exhaled then ran her tongue around the curve of his ear to the spot where his collarbone disappeared under the material of his t-shirt, "to make sure I didn't leave a nasty little bruise on you."

Dean shivered and pulled Logan down so that he could press his erection against her curvy backside. He nuzzled into her neck and bit roughly before gently licking the small hurt. She groaned softly and dragged the hand that Dean had resting on her upper hip down to press against the crotch of the boxers she had worn to bed.

Dean's chuckle changed to a groan as she guided his hand through the fly of the boxers. Placing her hand over his she rested her fingers between his and gently she circled her clit with his index finger and her own. Sliding their hand together over her slickness she slid their fingers inside.

Dean was panting in her ear. She gasped when he curved their fingers and brushed against that sensitive spot that he knew would begin to push her over the edge. Dean caught her ear with his teeth and while grinding himself against her, continued to tease her with his fingers.

"You know that makes me hot, don't you? You know how crazy that drives me, feeling you and me touch you together, watching you squirm and groan while you get slicker and start to quiver around my fingers?" Dean slid his fingers out and when hers didn't follow he pulled her hand away with his, "Can't have you doing that without me. That just wouldn't be right, now would it?"

Dean's smirk turned to a groan when she suddenly brought his still wet fingers to her mouth and began to suck her juices off them. His eyes rolled back in his head as he ground his teeth together in a not quite successful attempt to quiet the noise.

Dean sat up forcing Logan to follow and then with more grace than a man should have, he stood, pulling her up with him. Her feet had barely touched the floor before he pushed her back onto her bed. She landed with an undignified bounce and an even less dignified yelp.

Logan had expected Dean to follow her down onto the bed, but when he stepped away toward her bedroom door she sat up and barked out a frustrated and confused, "Where are you going?"

Dean slowed just at the door jamb and turned as a slow, sensual smile slid into place. His mossy eyes dark and heavy, he wagged his finger back and forth and shook his head slowly, "Oh, come on now Logan. Don't tell me you forgot the deal, because I know better."

Logan gave a frustrated moan and threw her pillow at his head, which Dean managed to easily dodge while laughing.

"Dean Winchester, don't you dare do this to me again, you're going to kill me!" Logan ground out in anger and frustration. She was startled when she suddenly found her neck surrounded by calloused hands, her breath coming in short gasps as he applied gentle pressure.

Logan shivered with both apprehension and lust and felt moisture gather between her legs when Dean pressed his lips to her ear and spoke.

"I'm not going to kill you," Dean whispered. His thumbs gently caressing the sensitive area where her collar bones ended, "but the truth of it is that if you're gonna be traveling with Sammy and me one of these days something or someone might try. I'm trying to prevent them from succeeding." He nuzzled the curl of her ear with his nose and then pressed his cheek to hers. "The deal, Logan is: you keep me from getting the upper hand when we spar and then you get whatever you want."

Logan uttered an undignified sob of frustration and attempted to dislodge Dean's hands. "Damn you! You don't fight fair, and you fucking know it. I'm so frustrated I can barely focus on anything else."

Dean struggled to take a deep breath and then released Logan's throat. Taking a couple of steps backward he watched a couple of tears trace down the curve of her cheek. He cleared his throat and shrugged, "I'm not trying to frustrate you sweetheart, just keep you alive. Beat me and you get what you want. Until then…" Dean ran his eyes hungrily down Logan's body and then hooked his thumbs in his belt loops while leaning back on his heels, "well I guess you'll have to settle for a little self-gratification." Dean turned and left, pulling the door shut behind him.

He managed to make it to the bathroom and push the door shut. Leaning heavily against it, his breathing erratic he ran his hand through his hair and readjusted himself against the fly of his jeans. Hell, he wasn't sure he could survive another "sparring session".

"Pull yourself together, Dean." He snapped and moved toward the shower. Opening up the cold tap full-blast he sighed, toed off his shoes and started to peel off his now, overly tight jeans.

TBC??


	2. Over Breakfast

**_Thanks to those who reviewed ;) Some interaction between the brothers, and a little from Logan. This chapter is rated T, eventually (I like the build up, it makes the payoff that much better) it'll change to M. Have fun...and don't forget to R/R. _**

_A week later…_

Dean slid into the booth across from Sam and flashed the waitress, who was placing Sam's food on the table, his most charming smile. She smiled back, poured him a cup of coffee and took his order for the special. She blushed and promised to put a hurry on it. Dean winked at her and then she left. His smile was gone the second the waitress was.

Dean frowned across the table at Sam, whose eyes hadn't left the newspaper he was reading. Eyeing the sausage links on brother's plate he reached across to snag one only to find Sam's fork suddenly hovering menacingly over his hand. Sam's eyes seemingly never left his reading, but his eyebrows shot up at the glare he was getting from Dean.

Dean sullenly pulled his hand back to his side of the table and sipped at his coffee while he waited for the waitress to return with his food. Needing to talk he sighed loudly and nudged his brother's leg with the toe of his boot. Sam rolled his eyes, set the newspaper aside and began to eat.

"What?" He asked between bites of sausage and eggs.

Dean ran his hand through his hair and shook his head, "We need to drop her off somewhere Sammy. She's been nothing but trouble ever since she started working with us and she's going to get herself, or one of us killed."

Sam shook his head and put his fork down. "Did you forget how she saved my ass two days ago or maybe how she managed to find, salt and burn those bones last week, which kept that damn ghost from hurting that kid?" Sam snorted, "Honestly, if it weren't for her that night that kid wouldn't be alive. As far as I can see, she's been extremely useful. Besides," Sam picked up his fork and turned back to his plate, "we promised Bobby we'd make sure she knew what she was doing." Sam finished and went back to his breakfast in earnest.

Dean leaned toward him, and opened his mouth to talk, but was forced back into his seat as the waitress set his food down. He flashed a quick smile then shoveled a forkful of eggs and home fries into his mouth, while at the same time pouring ketchup onto his plate. He swallowed it down with coffee and almost growled at his brother.

"Damn-it Sammy! She's getting under my skin. She's a stubborn smartass who doesn't know when to shut-up. She constantly pushes me, doesn't listen to anything I tell her and makes dumbass decisions that I'm telling you bro are going to get one of us hurt, and for fuck-sake, she's always around. I can't even take a leak without making sure the door is locked." Dean folded a piece of bacon into his mouth and pointed his fork across the table at his brother, "and don't get me started on the feminine hygiene products or the damn delicates strung up all over the bathroom." He gave a little shudder and added a mouthful of eggs to his half-chewed bacon.

Sam laid his fork down and settled back into the booth. Sighing, he rubbed at the back of his neck. He looked across the table at his brother and tried not to laugh at the situation. Just yesterday, Logan voiced almost the same complaints about Dean. Almost because the only thing she didn't include was the complaint about the hygiene products and her complaint about underwear was that Dean's dirty ones are left where they fall, which truth be told, even he found a bit disgusting.

Sam smiled and shook his head, "Dean, you and I both know that at least for now, she's not going anywhere."

"Who's not going anywhere?" Logan asked as she plopped down in the booth beside Dean and somehow managed to steal the last piece of bacon from his plate.

Dean's fork clattered on the table as his right hand snaked out to grab her wrist, "Hey! Drop the fried pig and no one gets hurt." Dean raised his eyebrows in challenge and when the bacon fell, he gave a smug smile.

Still holding her wrist, he shifted to pick up the bacon with his left hand. That was when he felt her other hand slide sensuously up in the inside of his thigh. That was also when she suddenly jerked her hand out of his, picked up the bacon and popped it into her mouth.

His eyes were immediately drawn to her face and she smiled around the bacon. Chewing slowly as her hand lightly stroked from knee to just shy of his fly and back. Dean's eyes were wide and on her mouth. He coughed to cover a small groan when she licked her lips and then the tips of her fingers.

She smiled slowly and let her eyes drift innocently across to Sam as she spoke, "Mmm, mmm, mmm, nothing like a mouthful of meat in the morning, isn't that right?" which caused Sam sputter and cough as he tried to swallow coffee.

Sam managed to swallow and give her a tight smile. He then glared at Dean, who was still sitting like an idiot with his hand frozen in midair and a moronic expression on his face.

"Um, yea…I, uh" Sam stuttered, trying desperately to find an excuse to leave, "…I'm...uh, going to call Bobby and check up on that lead." Sam finally managed to get out. He slugged down the last of his coffee and unfolded himself from the booth, taking his newspaper with him. Hell, he wished they would just sleep with each other and get over it. He heard Dean hiss something under his breath at Logan and catching his brothers eyes he raised his eyebrows. Clearing his throat he added, "I'll meet you guys at the car in 15." Then he was gone.

Logan pulled herself out of the booth and then took the place Sam had just vacated. Dean tried to glare, but it came across more like a pout. Logan smiled sweetly and then stuck her tongue out at Dean.

"What are you twelve?" He snarked before shoveling the rest of his eggs onto a piece of toast and chomping it angrily.

The waitress returned and Logan put in her order for pancakes, a double side of bacon and a large coke to go. After the waitress was gone, Logan settled back against the red vinyl and gave Dean another innocent smile. When he continued to glare, she raised her hands, palm up and asked, "What?"

"Don't give me that. You know exactly what and so help me I'm going to turn you over my knee and spank you like your daddy should have years ago." Dean growled through clenched teeth and then smiled. He attempted to look casual as he sipped his coffee, but his words managed to conjure up thoughts of Logan bent over the hood of the Impala while he...

The waitress arrived to interrupt his fantasy. She handed Logan her order and Dean the bill. Take-out container in hand, Logan slid from her seat. She paused beside Dean to bend over, her lips against his ear, she whispered, "Promises, promises…" then strolled out the door leaving Dean staring at the bill, speechless for once in his life.


	3. Consequences

_**This is the first in a three-part story arc; hopefully you guys will like it. Way more angsty than the previous chapters. You'll find a wounded Sam, to which you get protective Dean and well I had to throw Logan in there somewhere, and since she can't always be strong a little bit of a limp Logan. Trust me it's better than it sounds. Still rated T, though we're getting closer to the payoff, I promise ;)**_

_A few days later…_

Dean pulled the Impala into the parking space directly in front of their room, slamming the brakes caused Sam to curse under his breath as the car rocked violently to a stop. Dean, feeling rather violent pushed his door open and slammed it harshly behind him, the entire time glaring into the backseat even as he stalked to the passenger side to help Sam.

"Fuck, Dean take it easy," Sam hissed as Dean wrenched the door open, "if you want to help me you're gonna have to be a little less pissed off." Sam looked up at Dean with his one good eye, the other already swollen shut. He held a blood soaked towel against his shoulder and grunted with the effort it took to talk. Damn, he hated broken ribs.

Dean stilled and bent down to help his brother stand, "Sorry, Sammy…I ain't mad at you. You did great. Wish I had thought to stop the fugly bastard with my face like you did." He gave Sam one of his winning smiles as he pulled him gently from the car, "But that wouldn't have been fair to all the ladies out there would it?" Dean's attempt at humor earned him a grunt from his brother and a disgusted snort from the backseat, which stopped the moment he glared once again into the rear of the car.

With his arm around his gangly brother they made their way to the door. Dean fumbled in his pocket for the key and accidentally jabbed Sam's tender ribs causing him to sway. Dean grabbed at him again, "Shit, Sammy why'd you have to grow up so big and tall? Couldn't you have managed something a little less Jolly Green Giant? Let's get you inside and patched up before I have to yell timber."

Sam grunted something that sounded suspiciously like, "shut the hell up" and leaned a little heavier against his brother's shoulder as Dean pushed the door open and half dragged Sam to the closest bed. After settling him on the edge of the bed with an order to, "Stay put,"- like Sam was going any where, he hurried back out to the car to gather up their stuff.

The trunk was open and Logan had piled herself with Sam's pack, her pack and Dean's duffle, as well as the bag of food they had bought earlier and the large box of first aid supplies they always carried. If Dean wasn't in such a pissy mood he might have taken a second to help her, but since he was pissed the hell off he yanked the box of first aid supplies out of her arms and rushed back into the room, slamming the door behind him.

He eyed Sam critically and realized that he really was going to be OK, but that didn't make him any less angry. Sam sighed and rolled his good eye, "Let it go Dean…" gasp "it was an accident…" pant "…I've been hurt worse before and…" slow breath "…while it feels….like I'm dying…" Sam gasped and held his side, "Damn ribs…I'll live."

"She screwed up Sammy and sure this time you're alright, but what about next time? She wasn't overpowered or outmaneuvered; she simply didn't do her part. She didn't stick to the plan and you got hurt. It's her fault, and you should be pissed off too." Dean rummaged through the box and pulled out the supplies he needed as he spoke.

Gauze, tape, the stuff used to wrap ankles and knees which worked really well for binding broken ribs and holding large dressings in place. He added some silk suture and a curved needle to the pile since he'd already seen the gash on Sam's shoulder. He held them up, "You're gonna need stitches little brother and all we got is a little whiskey so it's gonna hurt like a bitch."

Sam nodded and then pointed to the bathroom as he started to stand up. "Let me clean up…shit that hurts…before you…wrap me up…damn…like a mummy." Dean was by his side in a hurry and gingerly helped him to the bathroom.

Using his knife he cut the rest of Sam's shirt off. Then he unbuckled his brother's belt and undid the top button of his jeans. "Seriously dude, that is as far as I go…and so help me if you ever mention it to any body you are so dead." He smiled at his brother and Sam gave him a half smile back and nodded.

He sat Sam on the edge of the tub, turned the water on, adjusted the temperature and told him to call when he was done. Sam nodded and started to shimmy out of his jeans. Dean pulled the bathroom door shut and frowned as the door to the room swung open.

Instinct had his gun in his hand before he even registered who it was. Logan stepped inside, kicked the door gently shut with her left foot and then let the bags slide down her arms to the floor.

"Whoa, I know you're mad at me, but isn't that a little dramatic…even for you?" Logan asked as she held her hands up in surrender.

Dean actually felt a little sorry for her as he took in the several small, but deep cuts on her shoulders, the large bruise on her cheek and her red-rimmed eyes. He knew she'd been crying. He caught her wiping at her tears when he glared at her in the rearview mirror on their drive back to the motel.

Dean replaced the safety, removed the clip and made sure the chamber was clear before laying the gun on the dresser and peeling off his coat. Dean strode across the room until he stood less than two inches from Logan. He glared down at her and she lifted her chin and glared right back.

"You're damn lucky that Sam's going to be OK or I would have left you in the woods to find your own way back." Dean backed up a couple of steps and ran his hand through his hair, pausing to pull a couple of leaves and twigs out along the way.

"If there is one thing we've tried to cram into that thick skull of yours it's been-Stick to the plan. One simple rule and you couldn't even follow it!" Dean's voice rose to just below a scream and he paced nervously before suddenly turning to continue his lecture. "If you would have been where you were supposed to Sam wouldn't have gotten himself almost killed. I told you to stay in the tree and take the damn thing out when or if it came by, but no! You thought I was trying to keep you safe so you circled back around. Only that left Sam open to attack from the other direction…the direction you were supposed to be guarding."

Dean covered the space between himself and Logan in three long strides. He grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her hard. He felt tears press behind his own eyes. Sam was all he had left, and nothing was going to take him away, "You almost got my little brother killed" He shook her again, "Do you fucking understand that?" he yelled at her, his voice raw with emotion.

Logan nodded and her tears ran unchecked down her face. She looked to the floor, unable to face Dean's anger and she would have crumbled to a heap on the floor if Dean still wasn't holding her shoulders. She wasn't really shocked by his anger; she hadn't been with the brothers longer than a week before she realized how close they were. She flashed back to the woods: as soon as she realized what was happening she knew she'd been wrong; knew she should have stayed were she'd been told to. Knew someone was going to get hurt and it would be her fault.

She was angry enough at herself and in the woods she'd been scared for Sam and even for Dean since the fucking monster turned on him once it had thrown Sam against the tree leaving him unconscious at the bottom of the giant oak. By the time she'd managed to catch up Dean had gone all, Hulk-Smash and torn the evil bastard apart.

A sob caught in her throat as her adrenalin rush wore completely off and the shame kicked in full force. Her shoulders shook, this time from her uncontrolled sobbing. She was pissed at herself for falling apart in front of Dean. Fuck him! She never knew whether she should kick his ass or kiss him senseless, she only knew that the only thing they did well together was argue.

She was so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she was completely shocked when she found her face pressed up against Dean's shoulder. His hands stroked her hair and small comforting sounds came from his lips; lips that were pressing light kisses into her hair.

He gently brushed the hair away from her face and when she finally looked up, his lips descended on hers in a devastating kiss. Her hands found their way into his hair and she held on to him like her life depended on it. He pulled her roughly against his chest as he devoured her mouth. Tongues battled and teeth caught at lips. She heard a moan and realized it was her own; she didn't care. She needed to feel wanted and she wanted Dean with ever fiber of her being.

Dean slanted his head and deepened the kiss while his hand traced Logan's side to the bottom hem of her t-shirt. She gasped when his hand gently skimmed across her side and cupped her breast through the lace of her bra. His thumb brushing across her nipple caused the already sensitive nub to harden. He rolled the hardened tip between his thumb and forefinger and this time the moan was his.

Dean began to pull her shirt slowly up her body, intent on finding more skin for his hands, lips and eyes to enjoy, but as he tore his lips from hers and yanked the t-shirt over her head two things happened almost simultaneously. The shirt pulled away from one of the deeper cuts on her upper back causing it to bleed heavily which in turn tore a gasp of pain from Logan's lips and Sam called from the bathroom.

"Hey, Dean…I need…some help in here, man."

Dean stood panting, his forehead pressed against Logan's. He closed his eyes, grit his teeth in frustration and mumbled, "Shit, Sammy, you have got some damn perfect timing."

TBC…


	4. Promises and Apologies

_**Part two all Dean and Logan, still rated T...**_

_Several hours later…_

Dean collapsed into the bed and wished Logan would hurry up with the shower, because he was sticky, smelly and almost too exhausted to care. He readjusted the pillow, tucked his hand under his head and closed his eyes. He heard Sam shift and groan a bit in the bed across the room and he winced. He'd broken his ribs on numerous occasions, what hunter hadn't, and he knew exactly what Sammy was feeling. He wished he had something stronger than Motrin and whiskey to give him, but that was they had. The only good thing about the pain was it would keep his idiot brother from moving around too much and pulling out his stitches.

Light flooded the room as Logan pushed the bathroom door open and Dean kept his eyes shut against the sudden brightness. "Dean? Dean?" He heard Logan call quietly from the bathroom and reluctantly he answered.

"Yeah?" He sighed and looked at the clock on the bedside table, 3:00am, before turning his gaze to the bathroom. Logan stood in the doorway, the light behind her making it impossible for him to see much more than her shape.

"I, um, can't get this one cut to stop bleeding and I was hoping you could take a look at it. It's on my back and I can't really reach it." She said quietly and then shifted nervously. "But, if you don't want to I understand."

Her words made Dean angry and he moved gracefully and quickly to the bathroom. His demeanor must have been intimidating because Logan backed into the bathroom until she was pressed against the sink, one hand grasping the small, motel bath towel she had wrapped around her while she held the other hand in front of her; in that defensive motion people do when something scary is coming toward them.

Dean stopped just inside the door when he registered the fear in her eyes. It didn't make him any less angry, but now the anger was directed at himself. He held his hands up in surrender, "Hell, do you really think I would hurt you, or even not help you? I can be pissed as hell at you, but as long as you are a part of this team there isn't anything that would make me unwilling to help you." He rubbed at his forehead and took a deep breath. He could easily see the blood on her towel reflected in the spotted mirror above the sink.

Logan took a shaky breath and swallowed the emotion in her throat, "I'm just tired and a little emotional…so no I don't really think you would hurt me. I just hate needing to ask for help, it makes me feel so weak and helpless." She shrugged and let herself look him in the eye.

Dark circles rimmed his eyes and she could see the weariness on his face. She knew most of it was her fault and for the first time since she met him she apologized. "Dean, I'm sorry I screwed up, I'm sorry I got Sam hurt and well I'm sorry for fighting with you. If I could go back and change it I would, but I can promise you this." Logan paused and caught a tear before it ran down her cheek, "I won't ignore your instructions again."

"'Bout damn time too." Dean snarked, behind a tired smile. Never one to let the moment stay too heavy he added, "Think you could promise, to never be a pain in the ass?"

Logan snorted and shook her head, "When hell freezes- maybe."

Dean smiled, "Ok, it's late so let me take a look at your back." Dean said softly as he waited for Logan to turn around so he could see the wound.

Logan spun, still holding the, _barely big enough to cover her girly bits,_ motel towel to her chest only to realize that because of the location of the wound she was either going to have to lower the towel below her breasts or hold the towel in front, which would give Dean a clear view of her ass. She chose to wrap the towel at her hips and cross her arms over her breasts.

Dean swallowed as he caught a glimpse of Logan's breasts in the mirror as she tied the towel at her waist. When she finished she caught his eyes in the mirror and was slightly shocked to see him blush. Ignoring Logan's raised eyebrow, Dean reached for a wash cloth and dabbed at the small, but deep cut. It was still bleeding, though obviously, much more slowly than it had originally. It would benefit from a stitch or two, but he wasn't sure if Logan would agree.

"Well?" She asked when his eyes met hers in the mirror again.

"It's pretty deep. How'd you get it?" Dean had been so angry earlier he hadn't bothered to ask. He knew she missed most of the action, so he was a bit perplexed.

Logan blushed from head to toe. "Being stupid…"

Dean raised his eyebrows, "So that explains the why, but that doesn't explain the how?"

Logan sighed. "Fine, after I climbed down the tree I backtracked out to the access road and then climbed through that old fence."

Dean rolled his eyes, "The one with the rusty old razor wire? The one that I said we should avoid like the plague because it was liable to chew one of us up?"

Logan nodded slowly, "Uh, yep that's the one." She bit at her lower lip before quietly adding, "and by the way you were right."

Dean couldn't help but chuckle and he didn't feel so bad when Logan yelped as he applied more pressure to the slow bleeding cut. "Serves you right anyway." He whispered and shifted forward just an inch, which threw Logan's balance off and caused her to grab the sink in front of her.

Dean also couldn't help that he ended up staring at Logan's now exposed breasts. Nor could he keep himself from brushing his groin against her backside and the small needy groan that escaped his throat was totally involuntary too.

Under his gaze, Dean watched as Logan's nipples puckered and hardened. His breath caught in his throat when she brought her hands back up to cover her breasts again. Opposite palms covered each breast and Dean let out his breath in a small hiss.

He cleared his throat and spoke, though he had a heck of a time dragging his eyes from where her hands held her breasts. His voice was strained, "I…I think you need a couple of stitches and it needs to be cleaned out really well or it could end up infected." Dean stepped back and stood by the door, managing to avert his eyes as she pulled the towel back up around her chest. "It'll hurt like hell, you watched me sew Sammy back up," He watched as she nodded slowly, "so you know. I really, think three stitches tops is all yours will take."

Logan continued nodding and Dean watched her chin quiver before she sniffed and fought back the tears. She stepped toward the door and placed a hand on Dean's arm. Her voice unsteady as she spoke, "Let me put something on," and she pushed him gently out the door.

TBC…


	5. Whiskey and Stitches

_**Last little bit of the three-parter. More protective Dean, this time all for Logan…please let me know what you think. I promise, really...the good stuff is coming.**_

Logan pushed the bathroom door halfway closed, leaving Dean with enough light to see so he wouldn't trip and then turned to the sink. She looked like hell. Her right cheek was covered in a spider-web of purplish-blue and dark green and she winced when she touched it gently and flexed her jaw. It was ugly, but no major damage. Letting the towel drop she took in a similar bruise on her shoulder, she had gotten both landing the wrong way when she jumped from the tree.

She took in the seven, or so small puncture marks and jagged scratches that ran across both shoulders and down her back. The worst of them, the one that was still oozing, sat just to the left of her right shoulder blade. She used the towel to dab at the small trickle of blood running down her back and then grabbed some clothes from her pack.

She yanked her last pair of clean panties, a pair of pink boy-shorts, from her bag and slipped them on before pulling a black tank over her head and down to cover her breasts while still leaving her back exposed. She was pulling her, still damp, shoulder length, brown hair into a ponytail when Dean pushed the door open.

He carried two glasses, a bottle of whiskey, the curved needle and suture. He set everything down on the sink and glanced around the small space. Logan picked up the whiskey and poured about three fingers into each glass. She downed the first, picked up the second and then downed it too.

Dean smiled, he was always impressed with a girl who knew how to drink. She poured two more glasses and handed one to Dean. He shook his head, "Pretty sure you don't want my hands shaking." He said seriously. Taking the glass from her he set it down and dropped the needle and some of the silk thread into it.

Logan finished off her third whiskey and set the glass on the sink. Reaching around Logan, Dean pushed the toilet lid shut. "Ok, you straddle the toilet, back to me."

Logan, who wasn't yet feeling the whiskey, but sheer exhaustion, stumbled, caught herself and then smiled a little sloppily as she straddled the stool. She wiggled and bent forward, which Dean, feeling more saintly by the minute, managed to almost completely ignore.

Dean rolled his eyes when she bitched about the cold porcelain as he sat down on the edge of the tub behind her. Feeling a small amount of pity for her discomfort, he handed Logan a rolled bath towel so she could rest her head on the toilet tank more comfortably.

Dean took a few seconds to line up his supplies on the floor next to him. Then he grabbed the whiskey bottle, splashed some onto his hands. Glancing at Logan, he shrugged, and took a long draw from the bottle before putting it back down. He then held a washcloth a couple of inches below the jagged tear and picked up the glass containing the needle and silk.

Holding it poised over Logan's back he said softly, "Logan, I need to pour some of the whiskey over the cut and it's gonna burn like hell." When she didn't acknowledge him he touched her lower back gently, "Logan, you hear me?"

Logan nodded and glanced over her shoulder, "Just fucking do it before I lose my buzz." Then she dropped her head back onto the towel just in time for the whiskey to tear into the wound. Her head shot back up and she arched her back, drawing away from the whiskey as it burned like liquid fire into the large cut, as well as the smaller ones in its searing path.

"DAMN! FUCK, SHIT, you heartless, cock-sucking, piece of shit, bastard that hurts like a son of a bitch." The first three swear words came out in a loud rush that gradually became a breathless murmur.

Dean tossed the, now soaked, washcloth into the tub and placed a soothing hand on her right shoulder. He couldn't keep the smile off his face, or out of his voice. "Shh, that part's over, but the needle's gonna hurt too." He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze and then a little push to lay her head back down, "Sorry, I tried to warn you."

Warm tears ran down Logan's face so she pressed her face into the towel and bit her lip to keep quiet. She felt Dean's left hand gently press the edges of the small wound together and then she felt the needle. She jumped, but honestly didn't think it was as bad as the fire the whiskey had set. The feel of the silk pulling through her flesh made her a little queasy and she took several slow deep breaths to keep from gagging. She felt the needle pinch as he pulled it through the other side, then a tug and another pinch as he tied the stitch into a knot. She felt him repeat the process twice more and then with a final tug Dean sat up, dropping the needle into the glass.

"Done," he said softly, "I just want to put a Band-Aid on it." Logan sat up slowly, and looked over her shoulder. Dean smiled, "You did good. The first time dad stitched me up I screamed like a little girl."

Logan offered Dean a shaky smile, "I screamed like a little girl, so what's the difference?"

Dean laughed and stood, pulling a large Band-Aid from his pocket, "Nah, you cursed like a salty, old sailor…definitely more manly." He put the bandage on as gently as he could and then pulled the tank top down to cover her back.

His eyes followed his hands as they settled at her hips, just above the top of her pink panties, which he just now took the time to appreciate. In fact, he had nothing but admiration for the designer for ensuring their fit snug that allowed the bottom curve of her ass to show in the most alluring way. Dean swallowed hard, lifted his eyes and forced himself to lift his hands.

Logan stood and then stumbled, her balance off from a combination of alcohol, fatigue and emotion. Dean reached out and caught her, "Easy there, I'm not sure you want anymore stitches."

Logan leaned heavily against Dean's chest and nodded, "Sorry, I'm just so tired."

Dean led her out into the bedroom and paused to turn the bed down before settling her on her uninjured side. He tugged the sheet up to her chin and stared as Logan curled on her side and snuggled into the bed.

Dean bent and brushed the hair from her face before giving her a chaste kiss on the forehead and whispering, "Get some sleep."

Logan grabbed his hand when he would have stood and then she asked softly, "Dean, could you please just hold me?"

Dean wanted to resist, but the dampness of her tears on his hand made him change his mind. He nodded, "Yea, but let me shower and change first, OK?"

Logan nodded and released his hand. Dean hurried to grab his duffle and headed to the bathroom. He showered quickly, managing to be done in less than ten minutes. He dried quickly and pulled on a clean pair of boxers.

After turning off the light, Dean quietly crept back into the room, entirely expecting Logan to be sound asleep. As he settled into the bed Logan rolled onto her side and rested her head on his chest.

"You said you'd hold me." She whispered, huskily, against his chest.

Lifting his arm he pulled her more securely into his arms, carful of her injuries, and settled her more comfortably against his side, his chin resting on the top of her head. She gave a contented sigh, and bent her knee over his leg. She curled her hand against his chest and almost immediately drifted off to sleep. Dean sighed and ran his hand softly over Logan's back, her leg shifting against his.

Dean cursed himself silently, wishing like hell she had been asleep or he'd fall asleep fast. He was exhausted, but the only thing on his mind was burying himself to the hilt in the bundle of trouble currently laying in his arms. Sweat beaded on his forehead and his cock throbbed. He glanced at the clock, wishing the numbers to move faster. Come morning he knew he wouldn't be fit to be around. He glanced across the room and watched Sam gingerly rearrange himself in bed and wished he were in his own bed, at least then he could...well if he still did that he would anyway.

He lay staring at the ceiling and visualized rebuilding the Impala's engine in his head. Cylinders, bearings, rings... Logan's breasts against his arm...pistons, timing chain...the heat of her against his thigh...valve seals, gaskets, oil pump...her breath across his nipple...cam shaft, lifters...skin and the smell of her shampoo. No, oil and the smell of valve grease - Damn it was going to be a long, fucking night!


	6. Back in Black or Highway to Hell?

**_Another chapter without the smut you are all looking for ;) BUT I'll make it worth your time, I promise!! Let me know what you think._**

Sam banged his head against the wall in a vain attempt to get rid of his headache. If he had to hear one more AC/DC song, he was going to scream. It wouldn't have been so bad if the volume hadn't kept increasing, but at the rate Dean was going the speakers were going to be trashed in another hour or so.

The constant arguing was only making it worse. Both parties kept trying to drag him onto their respective sides with arguments on depth of the lyrics, musical merit, or his all time favorite reason to pick Dean's side, "Come on Sammy, _Back in Black_ is just awesome, even a geek like you can see that!" Frankly, Sam simply didn't care whether _Highway to Hell_ or _Back in Black_ was the best album ever made. He was at the point that if one of them would have promised to turn the music off if he agreed that Barry Manilow was the all time god of rock, he would have done it in a second.

He sighed and looked out the window only to confirm they weren't going anywhere for some time. The snow was still coming down heavy and even though it was only the end of October, there was already six inches of fresh powder on the ground. Sam eyed the group of college kids in their designer ski jackets walk past the cabin toward the lodge. He watched them smile and throw snow at the girls in the group and hollow memories left a bittersweet taste in his mouth.

They had come to Colorado on a hunt and Sam wished they had found the damn _Shita._ He could use a good hunt and tracking down an ancient Hopi indian child eater sounded like a good way to blow off some steam. Besides Dean and Logan with nothing to take their mutual frustration out on made for constant trouble. They fought over Dean's driving, the best route to take, where they should eat, what they should listen to, who was better at poker, who could out drink who, who ate the last of the Doritos, who finished the last beer...you name it they argued over it and they constantly tried to drag him into their battles. It was worse than when he and Dean were younger.

He turned his attention to the living area in the small cabin and watched as his brother was attempting to teach, or just impress, Logan with his fine knife throwing skills, to the never-ending AC/DC soundtrack. He watched as Dean palmed one of his slick throwing knives, balanced it in his palm and with a graceful flick of his wrist effortlessly tossed the knife. The blade sunk about 2 inches into the log he had set up on the large stone fireplace.

Logan watched as Dean threw the knife three more times and then asked to try. Dean snorted, but handed her the knife. He pressed himself against her back and cupped her palm in his, showing her how to hold the knife. Sam watched as she almost imperceptibly moved her bottom against Dean's groin and he rolled his eyes and let it register in his mind that he was long overdue for female companionship. His brother and Logan's constant state of semi-arousal, teasing and fighting was starting to get to him, he was wound tighter than a spring.

Dean stepped away and Logan tried to recreate his easy motions, but the knife hit the stone fireplace hilt first and clattered to the hearth. Dean offered Logan a very patronistic grin and shook his head as he said something close to her ear. Sam couldn't hear what Dean said, but whatever it was, it earned him a swift kick in the shin and a shove from Logan that dumped him on his ass.

Sam laughed and was shocked when two pair of eyes suddenly settled on him as, _Rock and Roll Ain't Noise Pollution_ came to its end and silence finally descended. Dean stood and smiled, "Hey Sammy, how's it looking outside?"

Sam shrugged, "Same as an hour ago. I'm getting a little stir crazy in here and we're about out of food. I was thinking 'bout maybe taking a walk up to the lodge, getting something to eat and grabbing a beer at the bar. How's that sound to you two?"

Dean's smile spread and he came around the couch to pull his boots on, "Sounds better than getting my shins kicked in because someone can't throw a knife." Dean snarked at Logan as he tied his boot, "You coming?"

Logan ignored Dean and gave Sam a wide smile. "I'll be right there, but let me see if my laundry's done. There is no way in hell I'm wearing this outside of the cabin." She motioned to the t-shirt she was wearing over her jeans. She headed to the closet the apartment-sized washer and dryer were tucked into and pulled her now dry clothes from the dryer, then headed to the bathroom.

Sam laughed when Dean complained, shouting up the hallway, "Hey, I bought that shirt for Sam and he loves it! Don't ya' Sammy?"

Sam nodded, "Sure Dean and you see me wear it everywhere don't you?"

Dean looked at Sam as if he was stupid, "Come on, Sammy it's friggin hilarious and besides no one else will ever give you another like it."

Sam laughed, "Well that's true since I have no clue where you even found the thing. What made you think I'd like a shirt that said, "Tall people can pet short people as if they were dogs"?

"It's funny Sam, it's not my fault you don't have a sense of humor." Dean shrugged and grabbed his jacket off the stool tucked under the counter. Sam was pulling on his coat and they both turned as Logan sauntered back into the room. She grabbed her coat on the way past the boys and pulled in on as she opened the door.

She sprinted down the steps, shouting behind her, "Last one there buys the first round." Then she was off the porch jogging up the path.

Dean actually made it out the door first, and he had a good start, but Sam caught up easily. Dean hit the door half a step behind his younger brother.

They spotted Logan toward the back of the bar. She had a table up against the wall with a good view of the entire place. She already had three Rolling Rocks and three shots lined up on the little table. The brothers made their way to the table, both trying to catch their breath. Sam was shaking snow from his hair, not all of which arrived on his head naturally and he made a mental note to remember to pay his brother back later.

Sam shed his coat and took the seat to the left of Logan, while his brother took the other. The bar was busy and people were still coming in. Gaudy Halloween decorations hung from every available space in the western-themed bar, including the two deer heads hanging on the walls. A large sign declared Thursday ladies' night, while another announced the costume contest tomorrow.

Dean lifted the shot to his nose and raised a questioning eyebrow to Logan. She smiled, picked hers up and motioned for Sam to do the same. She lifted hers to her mouth, tipped the glass, downed it in one long swallow, slammed the glass down on the table, grabbed her beer and chased the shot with a long draw.

Dean looked at Sam and then both boys did the same. Sam made a face and drank deeply from the beer. Dean sat back and after a few seconds, sipped from his beer. Sam made another face and then asked, "What the hell was that?"

Logan gave Sam a small smile and then slid her eyes to Dean's as she answered, "Metallica."

Dean's smile widened, until his brother added, "Tastes about as good as some of their music sounds."

Dean reached across the table and gave Sam's bicep a swift punch, "Hey, don't talk about one of the greatest metal bands in the world that way Sammy, or I'll make you listen to every one of their albums in chronological order."

Sam held up his hands and shook his head, "I didn't say all their music…just some of it," When Dean frowned he continued, "OK, fine they are one of the greats, top of their game, love every album."

Dean smiled and nodded, sipping at his beer. He watched as Logan gazed around the bar, moving to the music, which was just now rising in volume as the atmosphere changed from the dinner-n-drinks crowd to the party crowd. He glanced at Sam and noticed him watching a couple of girls at the bar, both of which kept glancing his way and playing with their hair.

Dean nudged his brother, "Those two are into you, bro," he yelled over the music, "You should go on over and introduce yourself…they seem pretty chummy, maybe you can get a two-for-one?" He offered suggestively, "Hell, I'd do 'em both."

Sam had the good grace to look a little disgusted at his brother, but he finished off his beer and stood. He bent his head low to his brother's and yelled back, "Dean, you're a pig, but damn I need to get laid." He stood up and added, "Don't wait up." Then he headed toward the bar.

"Way to go Sammy!" He said turning back to Logan, only to find she wasn't at the table anymore.


	7. Show Me

_**OK, another chapter and the good stuff is coming…and please R/R.**_

Dean glanced around the bar looking for Logan, but the bar was getting crowded. He managed to catch Sam's eyes and gestured toward Logan's empty seat. Sam stood and after glancing around a minute found her in the middle of the dance floor. He pointed her out to Dean and then turned back to the girls, both of which were slightly drunk and very hands-on.

Dean smiled and gave Sammy a thumbs-up before heading off in the general direction of the dance floor. He stopped at the bar and ordered a shot of whiskey and another beer. He downed the whiskey and wandered off to the side of the dance floor, beer in hand. It wasn't difficult to locate Logan from this position. She was commanding the attention of most of the men in the general area.

She danced between two girls, grinding and moving in ways that sent shivers down Dean's spine. Ever since that night, a month ago when Logan screwed up and Sam got hurt Dean had been trying to keep his distance. Logan had a way of tying him in knots, his usual calm, coolness disappearing as soon as she opened her mouth. She infuriated him and aroused him at the same time and he never knew which Logan was going to show up. She would flirt one minute only to threaten his manhood the next. He really wanted to beat her and screw her, preferably at the same time.

Last week she walked out of the bathroom naked, when she noticed Dean staring she called him every name she could come up with, including some Dean wasn't sure he'd ever heard before. Dean informed her that he was a red-blooded male and female nudity required his attention: if she didn't want it, she shouldn't walk around naked.

Two days ago, she picked the lock on the bathroom door while Dean was in the shower. When she caught him, ah…washing himself, she laughed her ass off and told Sam, who couldn't resist teasing him also. The running joke was that they needed to call down to the office for some more soap. Dean had been, well really he still was, pissed.

He'd gotten them both back. Sam's computer was now loaded down with chubby-chaser porn, (who even knew there was such a thing), and Dean was the reason Logan had been wearing Sam's t-shirt. Dean had "accidentally" hidden some shrimp from the buffet a couple of night ago into Logan's pack. He then made sure to put her pack by the fire. By morning, the entire cabin had a mild fish odor, but when Logan opened her pack, she almost threw up where she stood.

The noise from the dance floor drew Dean from his thoughts. One of the girls Logan was dancing with had pulled her top off and was now dancing in her red bra while she sucked face with one of the college kids. Dean watched Logan slide up to one of the other boys. She grabbed his hips and shimmied down to the floor in front of him. She worked her way back up his body, sliding her hands up his legs to his chest. She then twisted, forcing him to spin so that she was now facing Dean.

Her eyes locked with Dean as she danced with the other man. Her hands slid over his shoulders and down to his ass. She leaned into his chest, pressing her breasts to him and then nuzzled his ear as he grabbed her ass and ground himself against her. She shimmied back down, her face near his groin as his hands held her head.

Dean barely realized he was moving until he found himself with a fistful of college-boy's shirt. College-boy turned to complain and even started with, "Fuck off…" only to have it trail off when he took in Dean's expression. The kid backed off, hastily apologizing, "Hey man, I didn't know she was with anyone…really sorry, dude." The kid was gone in a second.

Dean grabbed Logan's arm and pulled her from the dance floor, his expression black.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He asked, her arm still in his iron grasp.

Logan gave Dean one of her, "what are you stupid?" looks before adding, "Well, I'm pretty sure in layman's terms it's called dancing." She tried to free herself, but wasn't able to. "What did it look like?"

Dean snarled, "That wasn't dancing. You may as well as have just done him on the floor. What are you trying to prove?"

Logan yanked her arm and was finally able to free it from Dean's grasp, "What difference does it make to you? All you want to do is make sure I'm safe enough to hunt without you. I know I'm only still here because you promised Bobby, so you tell me Dean Winchester, what business of yours is it if I want to have some fun."

Dean snarled and stepped closer to Logan so she could hear him without him screaming at her, "Look, I promised Bobby to train you and look out for you, as far as I can tell I'm just looking out for you, so you want to dance, fine. But, since Bobby's the only family you got left and Bobby's like family to me I think that gives me the right to say my peace. Dance all you want, but don't expect me to stand by while you all but blow some preppy college kid on the dance floor."

Dean was shaking with anger. He lifted his beer to his mouth and downed it in record time, his eyes never leaving Logan's. When he finished she offered him a hard smile and then leaned in to talk.

"You aren't my father and you aren't my brother. You're just some guy my uncle thought would make a good teacher, and as far as I can tell you aren't any good at that either. So, you aren't anything to me Dean. Nothing." Logan spat and then spun back to the dance floor.

She grabbed the first guy she came to and whispered something in his ear, which made a smile the size of the Rio Grande spread across his face. Without looking at Dean, she grabbed the guy's arm and together they walked toward the entrance to the bar. Dean watched them go for a few seconds, too shocked to move.

He fought the urge to follow her. She was right, he had no claims to her, hell, most times, they were barely friendly with each other. He knew there was chemistry, but he wasn't sure he wanted to risk the fall out. He also knew he should just let her go, maybe if she got it out of her system she'd stop doing everything in her power to drive him crazy.

Dean put the empty bottle on a small table and tried to remember the last time he got laid. His jaw dropped when he realized it had been about a week before Logan started hunting with them. He smiled at the memory, Gwen; all red hair and freckles, sweet and willing. They'd had a good time, well several actually, but he could hardly believe it had been more than two months. No wonder he was on edge.

He glanced around the bar and noticed several girls watching him, most of which he would love to spend some time with, but every time he visualized what he might do with each one she somehow morphed into a curvy brunette with blue eyes and soft lips. He shut his eyes and pushed away from the wall.

He paused at their previous table, which was now occupied by Sam and the two girls from the bar. Sam gave him a stern look, handed him his coat and was about to say something when Dean interrupted.

"I know Sammy, I know…" Dean said grimly and then headed out the door as he shoved his arms into his jacket.

Logan and her boy-toy had a several minute head start and honestly, Dean had no clue where they might have gone. He doubted they went to the cabin, but with no other option that's the direction he headed. He zippered his coat and thrust his hands into his pocket. He panicked for a few seconds when he realized his keys weren't there.

He paused and turned back toward the bar to check with Sam, maybe even look on the floor around his seat when he realized what Sam was trying to tell him. He suddenly reversed his course and stalked toward the parking lot where they'd left the Impala. Sure enough, her engine was purring and he could just make out Def Leppard's _Rock of Ages_ from the edge of the parking lot.

He sped up but approached the car carefully, his hunting instincts making him cautious. The windows were fogged up and he couldn't see, so he listened. The music was too loud to hear much of anything, but the car occasionally shook.

Dean found himself growing angry for several reasons. He was pissed that he wanted her so much that he couldn't think of anything else. He was pissed at her for teasing him constantly and then running off with some college jerk that was just looking for a weekend conquest but most of all he was pissed that she would do it in the back of his baby.

He was the only one allowed to "entertain" in his car, though he's pretty sure Sam did manage to get lucky once in the backseat. He stood by the backdoor, fuming, his hand hovering just above the handle. He took a deep breath and then considered turning away, going back to the bar and getting so trashed that he would wander off with the first willing girl.

A throaty laugh suddenly cut through the sudden silence between songs, prompting Dean to action. His yanked open the door and a drunken college kid fell out into the snow. The kid was sloppy drunk and he stared stupidly up at Dean while he lay on his back in the snow.

Dean bent and glared into the backseat at Logan, who was sipping from a bottle of Jack Daniel's, and then he reached down and pulled the kid to his feet. He gave the kid a stern glare, "How old are you?" He barked, still holding the kid by the shoulder.

The kid hiccupped and tried to look less drunk, "I'm..." he paused for a second, "twenty-two…why?"

Dean pulled the kid down and pointed into the backseat, "Well, she's only 17, so unless you want me to call the cops…"

The kid jerked away from Dean, suddenly a little more sober, he started sputtering, "Come on man, I didn't know…she never said she was 17. She was in the bar, she was drinking…how was I supposed to know?"

Dean let the kid go, "Well since nothing really happened, just get the hell outa here." The kid turned and ran.

Dean slid himself into the backseat, and then reached over into the front to turn the engine off, returning his keys to their rightful place in his pocket. He sat back and yanked the bottle from Logan's hand.

"You have had too much already." He said eyeing the bottle before taking a drink himself.

Logan made an irritated noise and then crossed her arms stubbornly over her chest, "Seventeen, huh…that the best you could come up with? Too afraid of telling him I was with you or something, or maybe you have a fantasy about doing a seventeen year old…is that it Dean? Am I too old for you?"

Dean spun on her, anger and frustration pushing his patience, "Listen here. I just didn't want captain preppy to add you to his list: Bad girl, check. As much as you don't seem to believe it, I did promise Bobby to look out for you, so that's what I'm doing."

Logan turned and pushed her door open, she was out and slammed the door before Dean could say anything. Dean exited the car and hurried to catch up with her. She was almost to their cabin when he caught her shoulder and spun her around.

Tears ran down her face and she turned her head, wiping at them while she tried to pull away. Dean watched her try to get herself under control before asking, "What the hell are you crying for?"

Logan hauled off and punched him in the jaw. Dean dropped his hand from her shoulder and grabbed at his face. "What the hell…" he mumbled as Logan stepped back and then headed up the steps to the porch.

She had just managed to get in the door when Dean's palm kept her from shutting it. His eyes glittered with anger and he stared Logan down, something dark and dangerous swirling in the green of his eyes. "What did I do to deserve that?" he asked, deadly calm and serious as he pushed past her and closed the door.

"If you're too dense to see it then it doesn't make any difference. Just leave me alone, I'll head back to Uncle Bobby's as soon as the snow stops, just give me enough money for a bus ticket and food and I'll be gone." Logan's shoulders slumped and she turned to head back to the tiny bedroom the boy's had let her take.

She didn't get far before Dean called her name, softly. "Logan?"

She turned, only to find him right behind her. He didn't say anything, but moved with that smooth grace of his, pulled her into his arms and kissed her hard. Her body melted into his and she kissed him back. Dean didn't know why he was kissing her, other than he wanted to. He was so angry at her, kissing shouldn't even be on his list of options, but it was up near the top, in fact it was followed by several other things just as nice.

Logan moaned deep in her throat and Dean was lost. His tongue tangled with hers, tasting and fighting. Her teeth nipped his lower lip and she gave a gentle tug before soothing it with her tongue. It was Dean's turn to moan and he did, deep and low as he pressed his erection against her belly.

Logan shivered, lost in sensation as Dean's hands cradled her face and slanted her head so he could kiss her deeper. She felt his fingers massage her scalp and tiny electric like shocks shot down her body tightening her nipples and causing her to grind her groin against his.

Dean stepped forward, forcing Logan to move back until she was pressed against the wall. His hands slid to her ass, he lifted her, her legs naturally going around his waist. She threw her head back, her neck to the side and she growled as need overwhelmed her.

Dean took her invitation and slid his mouth to her neck, biting and licking his way to her ear. He spent a second or two teasing the sensitive curl of her ear before pausing. He panted softly, each breath sending a shiver down her spine that settled between her legs and she shifted herself against his hardness. He hissed, "God, I need you so badly…so tell me now if you want me to stop." Dean pulled away from Logan's neck so he could see her face.

Logan's eyes were hooded, the blue darker than usual and she was making small sounds that reminded Dean of a kitten. She grabbed Dean's hand, her eyes never leaving his, and drew it down to where their bodies were pressed together. She ran his hand down his erection, her fingers sliding with his, making him gasp as his cock jumped in anticipation and then moved his hand to slide inside her jeans.

When their fingers found her clit she stopped. "Do you feel that…"Logan's eyes drifted shut for a second as Dean swirled his finger making her groan and push into him, "…feel how wet you make me…how much I want you?" She allowed him to move their fingers even lower and she gasped when he slid a finger inside her.

Dean smiled, knowingly, "Were you saying something?" He moved his finger again and Logan whimpered, her eyes drifting half-shut.

Logan took a deep breath and watched Dean's eyes, "I lay awake night after night and touch myself wishing it were you" Dean slid his finger against her again, "…ah, yesss…it's been killing me…"

Dean pulled their hands from her jeans and Logan whimpered at the loss, grinding herself against his erection. He lifted her chin and then ran his finger along her swollen bottom lip, leaving her sweetness there before bending to lick it gently off. They both groaned and moved together, but when Logan tried to deepen the kiss Dean pulled back.

Lifting her, Dean carried her to the bedroom. Pushing the door shut and setting her down he bent and whispered softly, "I want you to show me…show me what you do when you think about me."

TBC!


	8. Tell Me

Logan took a few steps backward and then paused. She watched as Dean followed her every move like the hunter he was. She waited until his eyes found hers and then she smiled shyly as her hands played with the bottom of her sweater.

Dean nodded his encouragement and leaned against the dresser, "Take your clothes off for me, Logan."

Logan hesitated another second until Dean's voice added softly, "Now," prodding her to action. She slowly slid the tight, grey sweater over her head, revealing a red camisole, one of its straps hanging off her shoulder. She skimmed her hands down her belly and up beneath the shirt, letting her fingers dance lightly over her skin. The combination of her touch and the heat in Dean's eyes sent goose bumps racing across her arms and her breath hitched in her throat. Slowly she eased the camisole over her head and dropped it on the floor.

Her bra was black with hot pink ribbon woven around the edges and Dean could almost see the tips of her nipples peaking up through the lace. He shifted, trying to ease the tightness in his groin, knowing that he could probably stalk across the room and find his release, but needing to draw this out. He wanted to remember this and he never wanted Logan to forget it.

Logan sighed as she cupped her breasts, teasing her nipples through the lace and satin. Pulling at both and then letting them go as her hands dropped to her fly. One by one, the buttons gave way, revealing the top edge of black panties. Again, they were boy shorts and they matched the bra; black with hot pink ribbon around the waist and, hot pink lace around the legs.

Dean was beginning to enjoy the color combination. The innocent and sensual pink added to the naughty and sexy black sent Dean's mind into overdrive. He smothered a groan, and closed his eyes when Logan ran her fingers over the crotch of the panties while her other hand toyed with her nipples. He gripped the edge of the dresser and resumed his careful watching.

Logan reached behind her and unhooked the bra, letting it slide down her arms and to the floor, revealing her breasts. Puckered nipples were rolled between her fingers and Dean watched in awe as Logan shivered from her own touch and let her eyes drift closed against the sensation.

"Does it feel good to touch yourself Logan? Do you wish it were me? Do you want my hands on your breasts, teasing until I suck each one into my mouth?" Dean's husky voice asked from his place by the dresser, causing Logan to whimper and bite her lip. "Tell me how it feels, Logan…tell me what you dreamed of me doing."

Logan was overwhelmed by sensation and while she wanted Dean to touch her, she was thoroughly enjoying the experience. Touching herself while he watched was turning out to be a huge turn on and his sexy voice was pushing her over the edge. She didn't know what to say.

Logan caught Dean's eyes and she moaned, deep in her throat as she played with her nipples. "It's like you're touching me…like a current running strait to my clit. I can feel your eyes on me," Logan sighed as she cupped her breasts and teased the nipples with her thumbs, "light touches on my skin." Logan moved to the end of the bed.

Logan's hair fell around her face in soft waves and she stood still for a few seconds before kneeling on at the bottom of the bed, facing Dean. She tilted her head to the side, tossing her hair off her shoulder and gave Dean a sexy smile. Her left hand continued to tease her nipples while her right hand drifted down her body.

"You're kissing me…and you tease my breasts," Logan panted, "…your mouth and tongue follows you hand…down my neck." The fingers of her left hand breezed over the side of her neck, "…to my nipples, those you bite…" Logan pinched her nipple harshly and moaned low in her throat, "…only to pull them gently into your mouth…god…yes…"

Dean's breath caught in his throat as he watched. His plan was to tease Logan, but he was struggling to stick to the plan. Her right hand continued to drift lower and she ran the tips of her fingers around her navel and then into the waist of her panties. "...your hand slides lower, even while your mouth torments my nipples…"

Dean allowed his gaze to travel to her face and he watched as her eyes grew glazed and she bit down on her bottom lip, just before she gasped. "…you tease me, not touching where I want you to…"

The hand at her breast brushed lightly across her nipples and he watched them pucker and harden again before he dropped his eyes. Dean drew in a shaky breath, and asked softly "Where Logan? Where do you want me to touch you?"

Her panties hid her hand, but he knew what she was doing and it made it that much sexier. "Here…please…yes…" Her fingers moved slowly as she worked them over her clit in slow, easy circles.

"Dean, please," Logan whispered huskily, her eyes wild with need and she continued to touch and tease herself. Her voice was strained, "God, I'm so wet for you…so hot…so close." Logan closed her eyes and arched into her hand, her head thrown back. "Please, please…"

Dean moved suddenly, standing directly in front of Logan he leaned close, without touching her. His breath teasing her ear and she whimpered when he spoke, "Don't stop, Logan…don't you dare."

Logan's eyes startled open and her fingers moved frantically. She groaned and her eyes dropped closed again. Dean's voice was all silk and leather. His words, while smooth were demanding as he spoke, "Let me watch, Logan…I want your eyes." Dean smiled when her eyes opened.

She panted, "Please…god, oh, please…Dean…"

Dean placed his mouth as close as possible to Logan's ear and she could feel his lips move against her when he whispered, "Come for me Logan…do it for me."

Logan cried out, her body bowed as she arched fiercely against her hand, her eyes finding Deans as she came. Her entire body quivered and bucked as she rode out the orgasm. Her fingers slowed as the tension melted and she gave Dean a suddenly shy smile before he bent his head to kiss her.

**_There is more to come, afterall Dean's just getting Logan warmed up ;) _**

**_PS: I'm thinking about doing a side story (after Dean and Logan get a little satisfaction) about Sammy's night...what do you guys think? Let me know and please don't forget to review..._**


	9. What I Want

There was nothing gentle about the kiss as Dean dropped to his knees in front of Logan and pulled her roughly into his arms. A tortured moan filled the room as he thrust his tongue against hers. He dominated her mouth, taking and tasting his fill, teeth and tongue and lips pulling and biting; soothing and fanning the embers left from her fading orgasm. His hands traveled through her hair and down her back pressing her desperately against his lean, hard body. He tilted his head in a frantic attempt to get closer.

Logan whimpered and shifted as she raised her hands go grab Dean's shoulders. She needed to breathe, and she pushed gently against his shoulders as she pulled back. Dean released her mouth with a groan even while his hands gripped her hips and he ground himself against her.

Logan recognized the reckless look in Dean's eyes, knew that same look had been on her own face only minutes before. She also knew that payback could be a bitch. She gave him a slow sexy smile even as she drew in much needed breath and continued to press against his shoulder to keep him from reclaiming her lips.

Dean smiled back and chuckled. He knew what she was thinking and he had no plan on letting her get away with it. He ducked his head and pressed his forehead against hers. Dean's hand cupped her chin and he ran his thumb across her kiss swollen bottom lip.

"Don't bother even trying, baby…this is my party. You're just along for the ride." He whispered huskily. Logan shivered, amazed that even just the liquid silk of his voice could make her even wetter than she was.

Logan opened her mouth and caught Dean's thumb between her teeth, teasing the tip with her tongue before pulling it into her mouth. Dean sucked in a sudden breath and lifted his head to watch Logan's face.

Her tongue swirled and teased him, sending images of her mouth on another part of his body screaming through his thoughts. He also knew that was exactly what she wanted, so he gently pulled his thumb from her lips before bending to kiss her.

This kiss was all about coaxing and seducing. Dean used his tongue to tease Logan's mouth open before entering slowly with almost shy thrusts. He coaxed her tongue to play along, rolling and exploring softly as he threaded a hand into her hair. His other hand teased down her shoulder to her breast. He feathered her skin with the lightest touch of his fingertips and was rewarded with a soft moan of encouragement as Logan arched her chest toward his hand.

Dean pulled his mouth from hers and feathered kisses across her face to her ear even while his hand teased across the top of her breasts.

"Is this what you imagined me doing Logan? Touching you, teasing you?" She whimpered as his mouth descended on her neck and followed the curve of it down to her collarbone. "So soft, so beautiful…" he whispered.

Dean brought his arm up and around her upper back, supporting her as she arched back. His tongue dipped into the hollow of her throat, teasing and tasting, his fingertips just brushing against her nipples, even as she tried to press into his palm. After a minute, Dean stood, lifting Logan with him.

Settling her gently on the bed, he stood and pulled his shirt over his head. Logan leaned up on her arms to watch, enjoying the ripple of muscle as he moved. He bent and untied his boots and then pulled them and his socks off before undoing his belt and pulling it through the belt loops to leave it on the floor beside his shoes. Then Dean smiled and stalked back to the bed.

He stretched out on his side, beside Logan with his head resting on his hand. Neither spoke. He watched her face as he ran his fingertips across her shoulder and down to her breasts, circling one nipple then the other. He enjoyed her small gasps and groans, and he loved the way she bit at her lips attempting to quiet herself.

When Dean finally cupped Logan's right breast, his thumb teasing across the nipple, Logan satisfied his ego with a deep-throated groan that went straight to his groin. He found himself pressing against her thigh through his jeans. Needing to taste her, he moved quickly, bending his head to find her pert nipple with his mouth.

Logan fisted her hands in Dean's hair, pressing him more securely against her breast and gasped, "Oh…god" as he suckled her breast. His hand teased the other in time to his tongue. Dean took his time teasing Logan's breasts until her nipples pebbled and ached and she writhed eagerly beneath him. Dean's mouth continued to tease as his hand strayed lower.

Light touches across her hip, dipping into her navel caused Logan to moan and roll her hips, needing Dean's hand lower. Dean's fingers trailed to the top of her panties, feathering over the waist and then down one thigh, back up and down the other. Logan's hips followed his hand, trying to get him to touch her where she wanted it most, but Dean refused.

Dean's mouth and tongue traveled the same path his hand had, down her hip to her navel, where his tongue swirled and dipped, back up to her other hip. Dean ran the tip of his tongue across the band of her panties and Logan growled and thrust her hips upward.

Logan felt Dean smile against her belly and she grabbed a handful of his hair, forcing him to look up at her face. She pouted prettily and moaned softly, "Please…Dean, please…I need…" her voice catching and eyes drifting half shut each time Dean ran a finger from her navel down over her panties to between her legs. "I need…you…" Her voice trailed off in a needy, "…oh god…" when he cupped her with his palm, pressing his fingers firmly against her ache.

Dean found himself moaning as she pressed back into his hand, her wet heat and scent as intoxicating as alcohol. Logan opened her eyes, wild with passion and he moved his fingers just enough to send an electric like spark straight through her clit. He could tell she was close and when he removed his hand, he thought she was going to cry. Moving quickly he gripped the sides of her panties and slowly pulled them down her legs, bending over her as she lifted her hips to help him. He revealed her slowly, pausing as the panties reached her knees to press a kiss below her navel, but well above her labia. He sat back and continued to remove the last of her clothes. He dropped the panties to floor and he smiled when Logan bent her knees allowing her legs to fall open, leaving her bare to his gaze.

Dean sat back on his heels as his eyes crawled up her body. Logan's hands had fallen to her breasts and she ran her fingers gently over her nipples, her eyes never leaving his as he watched her every movement. When she trailed one hand lower, intent on touching herself Dean grabbed her hand and shook his head.

"Is that what you want, Logan?" He asked softly, before pressing a soft kiss to her palm, as his other hand lightly massaged her calf and trailed up the outside of her thigh. Dean still wasn't sure where his resolve was coming from, because the only thoughts pounding through his head involved pulling Logan beneath him and thrusting into her.

Logan swallowed hard and whispered, "You know what I want," then pulled Dean toward her with her hand. Dean leaned over her, pressing his body against hers with need that even surprised him. His denim clad cock pressing against her hot wet center. They both gasped at the sensation and Logan thrust herself against him groaning at the friction just as Dean's mouth found hers.


	10. Satisfaction

The kiss was hard and fast and ended quickly as Dean stood to remove his jeans. Logan was up on her knees before he was done, refusing to be at his mercy any longer. Dean saw the challenge in her eyes and accepted it for what it was. Standing beside the bed, he pulled her close and kissed her. He then turned her so that she faced the dresser at the end of the bed before climbing into the bed on his knees behind her.

"Oh, no you don't Logan," he said smoothly against her ear when he caught her eyes in the mirror above the dresser. He pressed against her back, pulling her against his length making her gasp when his hands found her breasts and he kissed just under her ear. "You owe me. All those days teasing me, only to leave me in my bed at night so hard and so needy for you that I couldn't even think about another woman, even when I tried."

Dean slid his hand, across her belly. "Every night Logan…I lay there, knowing you were across the room, probably touching yourself like you just showed me, wishing I could bend you over the table and slide inside you. Needing you like I never needed anyone before," Dean groaned as he watched his hand on Logan's body. "I've jerked off more in the last month than I have all year and every time it was your body I thought about, your mouth on my cock, you hands around me." Dean caught her eyes even as his hand dipped slightly lower, "It was your breasts I touched, your pussy I pounded into, you I made love to…"

Dean's right hand continued to make ever-widening circles on Logan's belly, drifting closer and closer to her wet heat and he watched in the mirror as her eyes darkened. Her breath hitched each millimeter his hand lowered, until he was poised just above her center. "I want to hear you say it, tell me you want me as much as I want you…" He watched her as he ran his tongue around her ear and she wiggled her ass back against his cock in an attempt to make him move. "Tell me you want me to touch you…" He waited until her needy gaze made its way to his face and his honeyed voice slid over her, "Do you want me to touch you Logan?"

Logan's eyes were glazed, but she answered huskily, "Yes."

Dean smiled and whispered softly, "Spread your legs for me baby," as they both watched his hand slide lower.

Dean could see her wetness on her thighs and he tried unsuccessfully to keep his cock from jumping in response, but when his index and middle fingers slid between her lips, he was almost lost. "You're so wet, Logan…so ready for me."

He thrust himself against her curvy ass and bent to whisper seductively in her ear, "Feel what you do to me?" He pulled his fingers from her and held them dripping before her, "See, what I do to you?" He groaned out.

Without hesitation, Logan nodded and when he brought her fingers to his lips to taste her, he whispered, "Like honey…" against her ear making Logan shiver and groan. She turned her head against his shoulder and was rewarded with a kiss, soft and sweet and tasting of herself. The kiss deepened as Dean's hand found her clit.

She broke the kiss and cried out in surprise, and moved into his palm. Her wetness filled Dean's hand as he used his thumb and index finger to tease her. He alternated his pressure, never giving her quite enough to push her over the edge. He teased her mercilessly. She begged and she moved, but still he didn't give in, simply watched her in the mirror, enjoying the flush on her skin, the way her hands fisted uselessly at her side and the sway of her breasts as she moved.

He paused and shifted, laying her down on the bed and then kissing her, trailing his mouth lower and lower down her body until he knelt on the floor. He pulled her to the edge of the bed, slid his hands under her hips and with his mouth just inches from her he paused. "Tell me, Logan…tell me where you want my mouth…I need to hear you say it." His voice was tense and full of need.

Logan threaded her fingers through his hair and looked down at Dean, her own eyes echoing his need. Her voice was husky when she answered, "I need your mouth on my pussy."

Dean smiled and bent his head to run his tongue around her clit and then down to slide inside her. He groaned into her as he felt her quiver around his tongue and thrust against his mouth. Using his tongue, he flicked her clit repeatedly, pushing her further. He sucked and licked, short firm strokes over her clit followed by long lapping licks the entire length of her wet slit. Tossing her head from side to side, she groaned in frustration and gripped the bedspread with her fists until he pulled on of his hands from beneath her and thrust two fingers inside her.

She came on his second thrust clenching around his fingers, arching into his mouth and screaming, "Fuck…yes…Dean, god…yes…" Dean continued to play her with his teeth, lips and tongue while his fingers moved slowly in and out until she melted back into the bed. When he lifted his head, she was smiling down at him from her elbows.

He smiled back and stood, climbing into the bed with her, suddenly needing to be inside her. Kneeling beside her hip, he wrapped his hand around his cock, "See what you do to me. God, Logan I'm so damn hard. Baby, I need you to touch me…" Dean stroked himself as he spoke, "Please…" he added when she didn't move.

Logan felt herself shiver, finally realizing how powerful hearing those words was. She needed to touch Dean, as much as she wanted him to be inside her. She sat up and wrapped her hand below his, letting him show her how he liked to be touched, finding his rhythm.

Dean dropped his own hand, threw his head back and groaned, "Shit…yes," as Logan began to stroke him firmly. A drip of precum wept from the tip of Dean's cock and Logan bent her head. She paused to look up into Dean's eyes and saw his longing and need, then as he shifted back onto his elbows she knelt up and slid her tongue around tip of him.

It was all Dean could do not to thrust himself into the back of her throat and sweat broke our across his forehead as he watched Logan lower her mouth onto his cock. Her tongue swirled along the underside and he shivered when her fingers teased his scrotum. She sucked, taking more of him each time she lowered her head.

The sweet suction and friction of her tongue and mouth combined with her teasing fingers was pushing Dean to his breaking point, and while there was some allure to finishing this way, he had his heart set on being inside her. He gently pulled her from him and groaned, "I can't take any more Logan. I need you now."

Logan sat up and reached to the floor beside the bed. Dean heard a zipper and some rustling then Logan's hand revealed a condom. She smiled when Dean began to sit up, but her hand on his chest held him in place. She tore the wrapper from the condom, tossed it to the floor and then straddling his waist she pinched the tip of the condom and unrolled it slowly down his cock.

Never realizing how alluring putting a condom on could be, Dean groaned hoarsely, his head thrown back while a tense, "damn" escaped his throat. Dean's hands found Logan's hips and he smiled up at her as she moved over him, gasped as she slid herself inch by inch down onto his cock and groaned when she raked her finger nails down his chest to tease his nipples. Logan sighed almost contentedly when she felt him finally pressed deep inside her.

Logan smiled, and tossed her hair over her shoulder before leaning down to kiss Dean soundly. She moaned deeply when Dean lifted her and let her slide her back down his length while at the same time thrusting upward. Dean's right hand found Logan's clit and he used his thumb to press against her in time to his thrusting. She threw her head back, her hands going to her own breasts as they quickly found their rhythm.

Dean rolled his hips, tilting to hit her sweet spot and she started making desperate little noises in the back of her throat. Noises that were driving Dean crazy, causing him to pant and gasp...pushing him closer to the edge.

Dean pulled Logan down against his chest and then effortlessly sat up; supporting Logan's lower back with his arms and leaning her over them as he thrust into her harshly. The desperate sounds continued and Dean couldn't take them anymore so he pulled her lips to his and kissed her hard, tasting blood and not knowing or caring whose it was. Logan wrapped her hands in Deans hair and kissed him back. Their tongues tangled and fought and it wasn't long before Logan was crying out as she came around him.

Her sweet body pulled, attempting to milk him and he fought the urge to cum, needing more Dean shifted again, this time rolling so that Logan was beneath him. Holding himself up on his forearms Dean thrust more desperately into Logan's willing body. He felt her legs wrap around his waist and he pulled to his knees, changing his angle and making Logan's eyes drift shut while forcing a deep moan from her throat.

"Dean…yes…fuck…harder…" Logan chanted, gripping his forearms even as Dean pounded into her more urgently with each thrust of his hips.

Dean felt himself on the edge, "Please be close…baby…cum for me again…" Dean begged as he leaned back and grabbed Logan's hips with his hands and then slammed himself almost violently against her, knowing there would be bruises and not caring he pulled her against him even harder.

Logan's hand moved to where their bodies were joined and she rubbed frantically at her clit. It was more than Dean could handle and he felt himself falling over the edge. He threw his head back, thrust twice more and all but roared when he came. Logan gasped and he felt her quivering around him as the last of his orgasm faded.

Dean leaned over her, kissing her softly, but soundly before pulling out and dropping the condom onto the floor. He rolled to his side and pulled her against him, spent and satisfied for the first time in two months.

TBC

**_Sheesh!! That took some time for the re-write, I just couldn't get out what was in my head. I hope you guys liked it...and don't worry there's more, but I think I owe Sammy some time first ;-) As always let me know what you think, because reviews feed the muse._**


	11. Striking Out

_**TIME OUT: This is all Sam, Dean and Logan will be back soon ;) **** THANK YOU! Please R/R. **_

_Because Sammy deserves to have some fun!!_

Sam smiled as he approached the bar. Both girls smiled back and scooted aside so he could slide next to them. He was about to ask if he could buy them a drink when he noticed Dean glaring and pointing at Logan's empty chair. Sam shook his head, but straightened and searched around the bar for her.

She was easy enough to find out on the dance floor, so he looked back to Dean and pointed her out to him. He watched Dean frown, give him a thumbs-up and then move toward the other end of the bar to order a drink.

Sam glanced back onto the dance floor watching Logan move seductively between two other girls. Every one of the men around her was vying for her attention. Sam shook his head, she wasn't going to make things easy on Dean and Sam couldn't blame her, after all, his brother could be a dick. Then again, Logan could be a bitch. This usually put Sam in the middle, pissing one of them off when he sided with the other.

Sam turned his attention back to the bar, forcing thoughts of Dean and Logan from his head. He really needed to relax and blow off some steam. He smiled at both girls and announced, "I was wondering if I could buy you girls something to drink?"

The blonde leaned against his arm and smiled up at him before pulling him down so she could talk to him, "Hey, I'm Paige." She motioned to her side, "…and this is Kate."

Sam smiled and nodded to both girls, "I'm Sam, nice to meet you both." Sam raised his hand to get the bartender's attention as he watched the girls talk.

Paige was pretty. A petite blonde with bright blue eyes, she was thin and wore low slung jeans and a tight, thermal Henley unbuttoned to reveal the top of her dark blue bra. A striped scarf was wrapped loosely around her neck and she was chewing on a swizzle stick, as she looked Sam up and down.

Kate was striking. Long poker straight black hair fell past her shoulders, but she wore it pulled back in a ponytail at the base of her neck. She had dark eyes that were slightly hidden behind stylish glasses that only accentuated her features. Her jeans were snug, clinging nicely to her curves and a light green hoodie over a form fitting t-shirt rounded out her attire. She smiled a little shyly at Sam as Paige talked.

When the bar tender finally made his way to them Sam ordered and then, at Sam's suggestion, they headed over to the, now empty, table. Taking his previous seat Sam waited for the girls to settle themselves before asking, "Have you girls been out on the slopes yet?"

Paige nodded, "We were out most of the day. I was just skiing, but Kate works for the Mountain Rescue and she's been up and down the slopes dragging the drunk and injured off the mountain." Paige laughed as she finished off her drink and then scooted her chair closer to Sam's.

Sam raised an eyebrow, "Really, that sounds interesting. How long have you been doing that?"

Kate glared across the table at Paige and sipped at her drink before answering, "Oh, about 4 years full-time now. I started as a volunteer in high school though, so altogether it's more like 6 years." Kate stirred her drink and rolled her eyes at Paige as she pressed against Sam's side.

Sam tried to move over just a bit without making it too obvious. Honestly, Sam never really liked one-night stands. However, life as a hunter forced him to tolerate them if he wanted a sex life with someone other than himself and unlike his brother, who felt that knowing a girl's name and the town he banged her in was more than enough, Sam preferred to get to know his dates.

Both girls were a little drunk, but Paige was quickly getting drunker and her flirting was becoming louder and more tactile. She was telling jokes and laughing so much she couldn't even finish the punch line. Then she would chide them for not laughing with her.

When her hand landed on his thigh, Sam jumped and she giggled, leaning in to kiss him. Sam was saved as Logan stormed over to the table and leaned between Paige and him while grabbing her coat. She looked about ready to cry and some kid trailed behind her like a puppy dog.

She leaned to Sam's ear, "I need space to think, give me his keys so I can sit in the car, and don't tell him where I am Sam…I just need to get away from him for a bit."

Sam nodded and reached into the pocket of Dean's coat. He palmed the keys and handed them over to Logan. She dropped them into her pocket and then kissed his cheek before telling him, "Go with the dark haired one…the blonde's too drunk to be any good in bed."

Then Logan leaned close to Paige and said something to her that neither he, nor Kate could hear before heading out the door with her college-puppy in tow. Paige looked at Sam and burst out laughing, before turning and yelling, "Thanks for the advice," over her shoulder.

Sam looked at Paige and then to Kate and shrugged. Thankful that Paige moved back just a bit from his side. A waitress came by and took drink orders as Paige asked him about his relationship with Logan. Sam shook his head when she asked if they had dated, "No, she just works with my brother and me and she kind of has a thing for him, but they're both too damn stubborn to do anything about it."

"So you haven't slept with her?" Paige asked, leaning forward and resting her hand on Sam's arm.

"Nope," Sam offered and then finished off the last of his beer.

Kate leaned a little closer to Sam's shoulder and asked, "Was that your brother with you before?"

Sam sighed, wouldn't that figure. Dean, as usual, managing to charm the girl Sam was hoping to score with…even without talking to her. He nodded and frowned. Sam's frown only deepened when Dean arrived, holding his hand out for his coat, a dark look on his face.

Knowing who caused the look, Sam handed Dean his coat and was about to tell him where he could find her when Dean interrupted him. "I know Sammy, I know…" Dean said grimly and then headed out the door.

Sam turned to the girls, and offered them an aplogetic smile. "That was my brother, Dean. Sorry for his lack of manners, he's a little preoccupied right now." Sam was determined to have fun, even if it didn't end with him in bed with someone else, so he suggested that they dance.

Paige smiled and took a long drink before getting up and heading into the crowd. Kate gave Sam an apologetic smile and then leaned in, "Sorry about her…she just found out her long-time boyfriend was cheating on her and she's a little off-balance. I invited her up for a few days, hoping to cheer her up, but all she does is drink and end up passed out on the floor of my apartment."

Sam smiled back, "That's alright. Do you want to dance?" He asked motioning to the crowd in the back of the bar.

Kate shook her head, "Not really, but feel free if you want to. I was really about ready to head in for the night…I'm really not into the bar scene." Kate finished the last of her drink and stood. "I'm going to go tell Paige I'm leaving, but it was nice meeting you Sam."

Sam smiled back and stood as Kate went off to find Paige. Figuring he'd managed to strike out, Sam grabbed his coat and headed out the door that led to the lodge. There was a coffee shop with a good selection of books, Sam thought maybe a cup of coffee, and something to read would help fill his time. He shook his head and smiled ruefully, there was always porn on pay-per-view if he got really desperate.

TBC-


	12. Kiss the Girls and Make Them Cry

Sam bought himself a large coffee and the latest Jim Butcher novel then found a quietest spot near the fireplace with a nice view of the ski trails. He settled himself into the comfortable leather of the couch and watched out the window as a team of mountain rescuers pulled someone down the slope on a bright red sled. They were just hitching the sled to a snow mobile when someone said his name softly beside him.

He turned and Kate stood to his left holding a cup of hot chocolate and a huge muffin, "Sorry, I just asked if you'd mind if I sat with you. If you'd rather be alone, I understand."

Sam pulled his coat from the seat beside him and tossed it onto one of the nearby empty couches, "No, feel free, I'd enjoy the company." Sam blushed a little, "I'm not really into the bar scene either, totally not my thing."

Kate smiled, arched an eyebrow and sat down. She sipped her chocolate and then motioned out the window as the snow mobile pulled out, "Opening weekend is a pain in the ass. It's always around Halloween, the college kids descend and chaos reigns. Last year I pulled more idiots off the slopes opening week than I did in the next two months…stupidity drive me nuts."

"Do you work shifts or are you on call all day?" Sam asked as he tossed the novel onto his coat and turned so he could more comfortably see Kate while they talked.

"We work shifts, but we are expected to respond to serious accidents if they call for all hands." Kate sipped her drink, "I worked pre-opening and today, so I'm off tomorrow."

Sam nodded, "So, do you live up here all year or just during the season?"

"I live and work here year round. I work for the lodge full-time during ski season and then part-time in the offseason. I also work as a flight medic and since I have my pilot's license, in the summer I do helicopter tours."

Sam was suitably impressed and he leaned forward a bit, "I bet it's beautiful up here in the spring and summer, especially from the helicopter."

Kate broke a piece off her muffin and popped it into her mouth, before offering some to Sam. Hungry, Sam smiled and nodded, reached over and took a piece. He dipped it in his coffee and then chewed as Kate answered.

"I think it's beautiful up here all the time, but spring is probably my favorite. I love it from the air. The wildflowers cover the sides of the mountains even as the snow is melting. Most of the people leave, so it's much quieter." Kate, blew on her drink then added, "It's something you really should see sometime." Kate grabbed the pillow that sat between them and tucked it up next to the arm of the couch before turning, tucking her legs beneath her, so that she was fully facing Sam. She ate another bite of the muffin and then held the remaining piece toward Sam.

Sam smiled and shook his head, "You ate less than half of it…"

"I ate a huge dinner, but I just wanted a little something sweet. Come on these things are huge. If you don't eat it I'm just going to throw it away." She moved her hand toward him and waited.

Sam took the offered muffin and finished it off it two bites. He smiled when Kate laughed at him. "Well they look big to me, anyway." She sipped at her chocolate.

"Sowwy," Sam said his mouth still half-full. After swallowing he continued, "Sorry, I really haven't eaten much today and that was really good."

"They are good, aren't they?" She smiled then added, "When my grandmother was alive she did all the baking here, but they still use her recipes." Kate's gaze traveled back out the window, a hint of sadness in her eyes.

Sam leaned forward and rested his hand on her right hand as it rested on the back of the couch. He gave her hand a squeeze and when she looked at him, he said gave her a soft smile, "I'm sorry, it's always hard to lose someone you love."

Kate held his fingers for a second or two and then wiped at the tears in her eyes, before they fell. "Thanks, even though she's been gone for almost two years now it still hurts sometimes."

Sam moved his hand back to his lap and picked up his coffee, he held it near his mouth with both hands and spoke softly over the rim of the cup, "Most days are fine, you rarely even think about them, then out of the blue it hits you again. It's always something little, something mundane. The way the sun shines through a window, hearing their favorite song, seeing their favorite book on a shelf and suddenly the knife twists in your heart again."

Sam's eyes caught Kate's as she nodded. "You lost someone close to you?" It was half question, half statement and Sam nodded slowly.

He sipped his coffee. "I've lost too many. My mother died when I was six months old, I never knew her." Sam paused, "My girlfriend died in a fire a couple of years ago and my father died last year." Sam swallowed the lump in his throat, "My brother is all I have left."

Kate moved forward and gripped Sam's hand, "I'm sorry. I wish neither one of us knew what it felt like to lose people we loved. My grandmother raised me and I can say be grateful for the family you have left…being alone in the world is, well lonely."

Sam ran his thumb softly over the knuckles of Kate's hand as they sat quietly for a few minutes looking out into the cold. Sam was lost in his thoughts and when he glanced over to Kate, he saw tears running silently down her cheeks.

Sam cursed him self...wouldn't it figure. Dean could charm girls out of their clothes with barely a smile, but all he managed so far was making one cry. Sam put his coffee on the table beside the couch, slid across the couch, moving beside her he carefully removed her glasses, and set them next to his cup. Then he pulled her gently into his arms, "Hey, shh. It's gonna be alright. Shh, I'm sorry, Kate, so sorry."

Kate allowed Sam to hold her, god it had been so long since she had anyone hold her, it felt so damn good. David was the last man to actually hold her and David had left her just before her grandmother died. He'd suddenly needed space, obviously a lot of it since he moved to New York. She'd had a few dates here and there since, but nothing serious, nothing longterm.

Sam's hand soothed down her back and Kate shivered. She pressed her teary face into his shoulder and actually sobbed. Sam slid himself back toward the arm of the couch and leaned back as he drew Kate between his legs and up against his chest. He held her as she cried; wishing he could do something, but knowing even an hunter couldn't beat the pain of grief.

"Shh, you're alright, you're not alone, shh, I'm here and right now everything's ok." Sam whispered against her hair, rubbing soothing circles on her back and waiting for her sobbing to subside.

Slowly, his brain became aware of things his body, obviously, already had. He cursed himself silently, and tried to sit still, figuring she would notice if he moved too much. Right now, he was all too aware of her breasts pressed against his chest and the way her hips cradled against his.

Kate brought her hand up and she brushed her tears from her face, before lifting her head to look up at Sam. She wiped at his shirt and gave him a soggy smile, "Sorry…I got your shirt wet."

Sam tried not to groan, but when she lifted her head, she ended up pressing her lower body more firmly against him and it was exquisite torture. He cleared his throat, but his voice still sounded strained, "It'll dry." He shrugged and watched her eyes, her eyelashes heavy from her tears, and her dark eyes appearing almost violet.

He cupped her cheek and brushed away a few stray tears, "Your eyes are beautiful." He offered softly. Kate smiled against his hand and rose up just a bit more, her eyes on Sam's lips. She bent her head slowly and kissed him.

She sighed as Sam's hand went to the back of her head and pulled her more securely into the kiss. It was a sweet kiss, meant to convey gratitude, but it quickly turned into something entirely different.

Sam groaned softly and traced the seam of her lips with his tongue. When she opened her mouth, he was rewarded with the taste of sweet chocolate and orange bursting across his tongue. He slid one hand into Kate's hair and brought his other to rest at her waist.

Kate's hands gripped at the open sides of Sam's button down shirt as she shifted above him. She pressed herself against his groin, gasping into his mouth when his hand slid from her waist to her ass to urge her closer. She moved against him lightly, suddenly needing more.

Reluctantly, Sam ended the kiss. Kate's eyes were heavy-lidded with passion, her lips swollen from their kiss and Sam wished they didn't have to move, but they were in the common room. He smiled down and then gave her a quick kiss.

Sam lifted his hand, indicating the room, "Maybe we should go somewhere else."

Kate nodded slowly before sitting up. Her voice was husky as she whispered, "What's wrong with here?" She asked, half-serious. When Sam raised an eyebrow and gave her a funny look she smiled, "Fine, my apartment is above the skating rink. It's a couple minute walk, not much further than the cabins."

"What about Paige?" Sam asked as he stood, grabbed his book and pulled on his coat.

Kate gave him a wide smile, "She left with one of guys in the bar…I doubt she'll be conscious before morning." Sam grabbed the down vest and hat Kate had dropped beside the couch and held the vest as she slipped into it, and then he handed her glasses to her.

She slipped the glasses on and snatched her hat from his hand. She pulled it over her hair and then grabbed Sam's hand pulling him against her. He smiled, and slid his hands to her hips before bending to kiss her, heatedly. She moaned and pressed against him. Sam pulled away and set her deliberately away from him.

"If you keep that up, we're never going to make it to your apartment." Sam said hoarsely.

"Coward…" Kate replied playfully, but took his hand and started toward the door. "Come on, before I corrupt you." She pushed the door open and pulled him out into the swirling snow.

Sam gave her a low chuckle. "It's impossible to corrupt me," he answered back. "I'm as corrupt as they come."

Kate's laugh was melodious in the quiet darkness, "Somehow I doubt that, Mr. Samuel…hey what is your last name anyway?"

Sam turned and pulled Kate against him, "Winchester…Samuel Winchester, born May 2, 1983. I'm 24 and I'm a Taurus. I enjoy long walks in the snow and kissing girls who taste like chocolate and orange-cranberry muffins." He brushed snowflakes from Kate's hair and then bent to kiss her nose.

Kate smiled up at Sam, enjoying his playfulness. "Well in that case my name is Katrin Elizabeth Ross. I was born Friday, April 13, 1984. That makes me a 23 year old Aires who also likes long walks in the snow." Kate paused and cocked her head to the side, "but as far as I know, I don't like kissing girls." She raised her eyebrow at him when he laughed.

"Well, if you want to experiment…" Sam said as seriously as he could.

With her hands around Sam's neck Kate pulled Sam's lips down to hers. She kissed him softly, just a gentle caress across his lower lip, she pulled back before he could deepen it. "I really think I'd rather kiss tall, handsome men instead…" She smiled coyly, "…especially sexy, corrupted ones."

Pulling out of Sam's arms, Kate jogged down the path, forcing Sam to catch up.

TBC-

_**More Sammy goodness is on the way! As always reviews are appreciated.**_


	13. Finding the Best Route

**_More Sam and Kate..._**

Sam caught up to Kate in about a dozen long strides. He grabbed her hand and they finished the last bit of the walk in companionable silence. Kate's apartment, and three others, made up the second floor of the skating rink. The large steel building was functional, but it wasn't pretty.

"Come on…" Kate said, pulling Sam by the hand when he paused to look around as he'd been taught. If you're going to be sleeping somewhere always know the best route to safety, know where the enemy could hide. "…what are you waiting for?" Kate climbed the external staircase that led to the second floor, with Sam following a few seconds behind. The entire building reminded Sam of the cheap motels they usually found in every small town they'd been to.

Kate unlocked the door and flipped a light switch as Sam followed her in. Sam, let out an appreciative whistle. He'd been expecting something similar to those motels the outside of the building reminded him of; it was anything but. The entire far wall of the apartment was glass and the view was stunning, or would be during the daylight. The floor plan was open; the small rooms separated by steel columns, throw rugs and furniture groupings. Kate's taste leaned toward the modern, but she managed to make it look comfortable and inviting. Rich textures and patterns filled the space, instantly making Sam feel welcomed.

Kate had toed off her shoes and Sam paused to untie his boots and leave them on the small rug by the door. Then he removed his coat and hung it on a hook beside Kate's vest and hat. A double-sided fireplace was built into the wall between the living area and what Sam felt must be the bedroom. Sam watched as Kate bent to throw a log on the slow burning embers in the fireplace. He couldn't help but appreciate the curve of her backside and he moved to the living room and leaned against the mantle.

After a minute, the fire caught and blazed; that's when Kate finally turned to face Sam. She wrapped her arms around his waist and Sam kissed the top of her head before complimenting her on her decorating. Kate smiled and thanked him by pulling Sam's lips to hers for a simple kiss. Sam smiled when he felt Kate's hands at his sides, sliding up under his button down only to find his t-shirt beneath it.

He chuckled at the small, frustrated sound she made in the back of her throat and he let her struggle with tugging his t-shirt from his jeans. When she finally freed the shirt from the waist of his jeans she retaliated by lightly dragging her nails up his side, making him squirm. Sam caught her hands and with a mischievous gleam in his eye, he moved them both behind her back and grasped them in one of his larger ones. He bent forward, just a little, which forced her to bend back and he kissed her.

Up to this point, Kate felt that Sam's kisses had been wonderful, but this one was off the chart. Sam used his lips, tongue and teeth to ravage Kate's mouth. Taking and giving, never letting her take the lead, forcing her to follow, she groaned and attempted to press against Sam. When he smiled against her lips, she whimpered and Sam finally released her hands.

Kate's arms went around Sam's shoulders as she pulled him closer. She buried her hands in his shaggy hair, loving the way it felt in her fingers. She found herself being backed toward the door to her bedroom and she only broke the kiss to push the door open as they stumbled through. The only light in the room came from the fireplace and it gave the room a soft glow.

Kate pulled out of Sam's arms and removed her glasses, laying them on the table beside her bed. Then, she flipped on a small lamp. She turned back to Sam, even while she unzipped her green hoodie. Dropping it onto the floor, she reached for the hem of her t-shirt and paused. She cocked her head to the side, and smiled seductively before pulling the shirt agonizingly slowly over her head.

Sam swallowed and his cock jumped as inch-by-inch Kate pulled up the shirt. He groaned when she paused halfway and he was suddenly there, frantically pulling the shirt over her head and before he even realized it, his hand found the ponytail at the back of her head and with one rough tug it was free of its elastic band.

She gasped at the suddenness and even a little at the sharp pain as several hairs came out with the band, but Sam's fingers were there instantly massaging and soothing as he pulled her hair forward and spread it over her shoulders. He smiled down at her.

"I've wanted to see your hair down since I saw you at the bar." He picked up a thick handful and watched as it slid through his fingers. It fell like a silken waterfall and Sam closed his eyes against the sudden desire to feel it caressing down his chest as Kate kissed her way down his belly.

Kate's low chuckle brought his eyes open and her hands slid up under his shirt to slide it off his arms. "Well, Mr. Winchester, personally I've been having inappropriate thoughts about you all day."

Intrigued, Sam raised his eyebrow, "All day? I only met you, what an hour and a half ago…"

Kate smiled and ran her hands up under Sam's t-shirt. Finding his nipples, she teased them with her fingernails, eliciting a gasp, followed by a groan, as his nipples hardened. "You were in the gym this morning. Running on the treadmill, and damn I could have done you right then and there." She ran her hands down the muscles of his chest to where his hips met his jeans. "There's something about a man covered in sweat that gets me so hot."

Sam pivoted and sat on the bed, pulling her between his knees. Reaching down he pulled his t-shirt over his head and threw it to the floor, "I'm sure we can find someway to work up a nice sweat." He said seriously, as he brushed Kate's hair across her shoulders and pulled her bra straps slightly down her arms, lowering the bra enough so that the top of the cups scraped against her nipples.

Sam watched her nipples harden and then he pulled her closer and ran his tongue across, first one then the other. Kate's fingers gripped at Sam's shoulders. When he used his teeth to pull the bra lower she shivered, making small sounds in her throat. Sam pulled back and smiled. His hands slid along her sides to her back and he unclasped her bra guiding the straps down and off her arms.

Kate's hair fell across the tops of her breasts and Sam took a second to brush it back and over her shoulders so he could look his fill. Sam ran his hands down Kate's arms and then up her sides, stopping when his thumbs met the underside of her breasts. "God, you're beautiful," he whispered and watched her face as he brushed his thumbs over her already hardened nipples. Kate's mouth fell open in a wordless, "Oh" that became a hiss when Sam bent his head to pull her right nipple into his mouth.

Kate buried her hands in Sam's hair and arched into him as he teased her, his hands sliding down her sides to her bottom, which he kneaded softly. Kate wiggled against Sam's hands, but stopped as he bit gently on a nipple, increasing the pressure until she groaned and pulled back, forcing Sam to let her go. Sam brought his hand up and gently soothed the assaulted breast as he bent his head to the other one.

Kate moved, straddling Sam and then lowered herself down to his lap. Sam's head came up and Kate found his lips with her own. A loud groan erupted from Sam when she began to move her hips against his erection. He tried to still her hips with his hands, but she gave him a gentle push and he fell back onto the bed. Leaning over him, her hair created a curtain around his head and he smile when she moved her head side to side, dragging it's length teasingly down his face and neck, before tossing her head to throw it over a shoulder.

She sat up and Sam felt her hands slide down to the fly of his jeans. She raked her nails over his erection and he thrust up against the sensation with a soft groan of anticipation. He watched as she undid the button and slid the zipper down. The tip of his cock was pressing above the waistband of his boxer-briefs and she dragged her index finger across the tip causing him to shudder.

There was more than one way to end up where they were heading and Sam knew this wasn't how he wanted to get there. Sam reached for Kate's hand; "Come here," he whispered quietly as he pulled her gently up to lie across his chest. He pressed light kisses to the tip of each of her fingers. Then another kiss to the center of her palm before swirling his tongue in a slow circle, his eyes on Kate's the entire time.

Kate's breath caught in her throat. It was such a simple touch, yet it went directly to her very core. Her eyes drifted shut as Sam's mouth continued to her wrist, again pausing to taste her with his tongue. He continued his way up her arm, with lips and tongue and light touches from his fingertips. When he reached her shoulder, he rolled to his side, laying her face-up beside him.

"You still with me?" Sam asked, brushing her hair from her face and feathering light touches along her hairline to the shell of her ear, which he traced with his fingers.

Kate slowly opened her eyes and nodded. Her voice sounded thick when she answered, "My god, Sam that feels so good."

Sam gave her a broad smile and bent to kiss her softly, "Do you want me to stop?" He asked lightly, even while his lips trailed across her eyelids and his tongue traced just behind her ear.

"Please don't." Kate whispered as she moved her head toward Sam's mouth. He smiled and feathered more kisses across her face; soft kisses to her cheeks, her nose and then the caress of his tongue across her lips.

Lips and tongue trailed down the curve of her neck, small, light bites on her shoulder. Fingertips danced down her arms, and back up to play lightly over her breasts. Sam watched as her dark nipples peaked and begged for his mouth. He breathed barely there kisses around each one, a fingertip, a tongue. His tongue found each rib in turn. He paused at each freckle and mole, lightly touching, teasing, tasting. Sam marveled at each gasp and groan that Kate rewarded him with when he found a particularly sensitive spot.

He continued his path, blazing the trail with the delicate caress of his fingertips, barely there kisses and the moist wetness of his tongue. He spent time at her navel, enjoying the way Kate squirmed and sighed. Sam's fingers found their way to the button of her jeans and he undid it slowly while running his fingers ever so softly under the waistband. He opened the zipper and paused to tease with his fingers and lips.

Kate was beginning to have a difficult time staying still. Sam's touches were driving her mad with need. She felt as if every inch of her skin had a direct path to her clit. She moved her hips in frustration, knowing she'd never been this aroused before and she was amazed by the fact that Sam had barely touched her in the places that usually begged for attention.

She gasped and moaned as he peeled her jeans down her legs and Kate opened her eyes to watch him. Sam smiled as he knelt by her feet. His fingernails lightly scored the tops of her feet and she felt the sensation shoot up her legs and her eyes drifted closed. Sam's fingertips traced up Kate's calves to her knees and then back down. Kate felt Sam's mouth on her ankle, kisses up her legs, tongue swirling and teasing. Sam bent her knees and teased the soft underside of each, kissing and licking softly as his fingers drifted higher.

Sam traced lazy circles on the tops on Kate's thighs then his fingernails left light tracks down the insides. Kate moaned, low and deep in her throat and Sam smiled in male satisfaction. Sam continued moving, upward…closer, and Kate's movement and soft sounds increased. He could hear soft panting when he reached the apex of her thighs and ran soft as rain touches across the dampness of her blue satin panties.

Kate's hands slid into his hair, "Sam…what you're doing to me…my god…please."

Sam leaned up and rained soft touches across her belly before hooking his index fingers in the satin of Kate's panties. He pulled them down and off and groaned when she finally lay naked before him. Sam stared.

Kate's eyes opened when Sam didn't touch her after several seconds. Her voice was heavy and she sounded confused, "What…Sam?"

She held out her hand to him, he took it and leaned over to kiss her. He brushed his lips across her ear and whispered softly, "Shh, 'I want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true) and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you.'"

Kate moaned his name just before Sam kissed her, biting her bottom lip gently, before he sat back on his knees. The back of his hand traced down over each breast and lower, only a hint of a touch down between her legs and back to her hip. He bent and kissed each hip, and ran his tongue down to where her dark curls began. Kate whimpered and her hips lifted toward Sam's mouth.

Sam moved to lie between her legs and her soft whimper became a moan when he breathed out against her wetness as he slid his hands beneath her bottom and then finally lowered his mouth to her. Sam's tongue darted out, barely touching followed by a soft kiss where her thigh met her labia, tongue and lips, soft and feathery.

When her hands returned to his hair and she groaned loudly, "Please, Sam…please…" he finally gave in and lowered his mouth to her clit. She arched against him as he pulled her swollen clit into his mouth and gently suckled. His tongue teased, trailing down and inside her, tasting and tormenting while pushing her closer and closer to the edge.

Sam was lost. Her small, desperate sounds and the taste of her on his tongue were almost more than he could handle. He ground himself against the bed and answered her moan with his own. He needed her badly. Teasing her had aroused him as much as it had her. His thumbs spread her open and his tongue ran her length, pushing her closer. He felt the slight quiver in her thighs, heard her breathing change and suddenly she was there, falling over the edge, gripping his hair and calling his name.

_**Sam's quote is from one of my favorite poets, e.e. cummings. The poem is **I Carry Your Heart with Me._


	14. I'll Think of Something

When Sam felt Kate's hands relax into his hair, he raised his head. He watched as she stretched sensuously and all but purred. He smiled and kissed gently back up her body; above her curls, at her belly button, between her breasts, until he found her lips and he captured them gently, but passionately. Kate's tongue rolled and fought with his as she pulled him tightly against her.

Kate trailed a hand down between them, sliding it into the open fly of his pants to cup him. She smiled when Sam groaned and pressed against her. Pulling back from their kiss, she continued to move her hand against him. Sam pressed his forehead to hers and took a deep breath, smiling he pressed a small kiss to the tip of Kate's nose.

"My god, Kate you are so beautiful right now." Sam offered, brushing Kate's hair from her face. "I love that satisfied little smile you're wearing…" Sam brushed his lips lightly against Kate's, "…and the flush covering your chest…" Sam watched his hand slide slowly over Kate's breast.

Kate pulled Sam's hand from her breast and kissed it. While her other hand continued to move lightly against his erection, "You know, you bring up a good point. Only one of us appears to be satisfied." Kate said sweetly.

Sam nodded seriously, "I had noticed." He smiled and raised an eyebrow and groaned softly, "It's been pretty damn hard to ignore."

Kate giggled huskily, "Funny….but I should tell you, I feel like maybe I should help you out somehow." Kate's hand sunk into the waistband of his boxer briefs and Sam hissed at the contact.

Sam nodded and answered tightly, "Have any good ideas?"

Kate pressed her lips together and cocked her head to the side, "Well, it might take me awhile to think of something…."

Suddenly, Sam pulled Kate against his chest, forcing her hands to grab his shoulders and rolled so that she rested above him, her elbows on his chest. Kate's, "Oh," of surprised made him chuckle, but it was cut short when Kate bent to kiss him soundly.

Kate broke the kiss, straddled Sam's waist and smiled down at him. Sam watched her hair swing about her head and he caught thick strand. Slowly he wound it around his hand and gently used it to pull Kate's mouth back to his.

Sam pressed up against the curve of Kate's bottom and between kisses murmured against her lips, "Any ideas yet?"

Kate wiggled against him, making him gasp and slide his hands to her hips. Kate kissed to his ear, where she paused to explore while her hands danced over his chest to tease his nipples. "Actually," she whispered softly, causing Sam to shiver, "I have quite a few."

Sam's eyes drifted shut as her mouth and hands continued their downward exploration. Her lips found his nipples and he drew in a ragged breath. She scraped her teeth over each in turn and Sam groaned, even as her nails scored down his sides to his hips. Kate's hair trailed over his chest and lower as her head followed and Sam opened his eyes to watch.

"Damn, that is…" Sam paused as Kate's hand brushed against him, through the denim, "...so hot…" his voice trailed off in a hiss and his hands fisted at his sides.

Kate's sweet mouth followed her hands and she pressed a kiss just above his erection, teasing him as he had teased her. She smiled when he fought the urge to press up into her face. She gripped his jeans at the hip and tugged down. Sam's hands immediately moving to help her, as he pushed them lower and lifted his hips.

Kate couldn't help but laugh at his eagerness, as together they removed the last of his clothing. Kate sat back on her knees and gave him an appreciative smile. He was beautifully built and Kate was surprised at the sudden surge of lust that flowed through her, settling between her legs with a warm tingle. She let her eyes travel over him, all lean, hard muscle and soft angles, and when she finally reached his face; Sam's cocky smile greeted her.

Sam's head was resting on his folded arms and a pillow, but his smile was sexy as sin, "See something you like?" Sam's voice was strained, but the teasing tone made Kate smile even as her hands moved to massage his thigh, making him gasp.

She nodded, "You are like a buffet of sexiness, my god, I don't know where to begin…" Kate's voice trailed off, even as she bent to kiss his chest.

"I could offer you some suggestions…" Sam ground out through clenched teeth as once again Kate's mouth and hands went to work, "…but I'm pretty sure…Kate…shit…" Sam's voice became a strangled groan when Kate's hand cupped his balls and he felt her breath against his thigh.

Sam watched, gathering her hair loosely in a fist to better his view. She glanced up at him from her position between his legs and gave him a slow sexy smile, her eyes never leaving his as she lowered her mouth onto him. Kate rolled her tongue around the tip, tasting him, enjoying the feel of his silky hardness against her tongue, before slowly lowering her head.

One hand resting on his hip, the other grasping the base of his cock, Kate moved her mouth down and back up slowly, twisting her hand in rhythm to her mouth. Sam watched growing impossibly harder and needier by the second as Kate increased her pace agonizingly slowly.

Kate's tongue swirled and licked and sucked, each downward thrust pulling more of Sam into her mouth. She felt his hands gripping into her hair, trying not to guide her head and it satisfied her that he was struggling to keep his hips still. Kate increased her speed and her pressure, knowing Sam couldn't possibly last much longer. She felt him tense and pull at her hair, but she used her fingers to squeeze firmly around his base to hold him off, pulling her mouth from him, she smiled.

Sam's eyes were heavy with need, a light sheen of sweat dotted his forehead and he groaned in frustration, pushing Kate's hair out of her eyes so he could see her face, "You're going to kill me…that mouth of yours…" Sam leaned up on an arm and ran a thumb across her lips, "…so damn sexy, baby, but I need you," Sam paused and locked his eyes with hers, "now."

Kate was shocked when she whimpered, realizing in a rush how much she needed him also and when he pulled her against him and rolled her over she didn't resist. Her arms threaded around his neck and she opened her mouth to his kiss. Hands, nails, lips and teeth were suddenly everywhere. Need overwhelmed them both. It was a delicate torture, wanting more, but needing it to end; they rolled and teased. Bodies pressed together in a battle they both would win.

Suddenly, he wasn't there and Kate's sob of loss made Sam smile as he knelt on the bed and gathered her back into his arms. "Think I was going somewhere?" He asked against her cheek, kissing her throat and cupping her breast in his palm.

Kate gasped and arched into his hand. Pouting she asked shakily, "You should know better than to just disappear like…" Sam's hand up the inside of her thigh distracted her and she moaned softly as he slid a finger inside. "…oh, please…yes…"

"Mm, were you saying something?" Sam added another finger and pressed his thumb against her clit. When she arched up and something unintelligible tore from her throat, he moved between her legs. He pulled his fingers from her wetness and her eyes flew open and found his. Panicked desire swirled in her eyes and caught in a haze of need she cursed softly under her breath as she watched him open a condom.

"Dammit Sam…hurry up."

Sam leaned over her and kissed her hard; she moaned and ground up against him, "Patience, Kate…patience." Sam whispered against her lips.

"Fuck patience…" Kate whined, "…please Sam…" Kate reached between them and gripping him, she ran the tip of his cock against her clit. They both moaned. His hardness against her clit, teasing her as her wetness against him, pushed him to his limit.

Sam shifted and Kate's hand guided him and he slid in easily, until he was pressed fully against her, his back arched. He groaned loudly and Kate's breath left her in a rush, "What…about patience?"

Sam withdrew halfway and thrust sharply against her, "Over-rated…"

Kate moved up against him, needing and wanting. Sam withdrew and thrust, giving and taking. They moved with each other as hands and lips found sensitive spots, the pressure building. Sweat slicked bodies moved and slid against each other and the aching throb between Kate's legs had her whimpering.

The small sounds made the Sam's breath hitch in his throat and he brushed the hair away from Kate's face and kissed her. She moved frantically beneath him as he thrust harshly against her, but it wasn't enough.

Sam withdrew and pulled to his knees, pulling her up with him. Settling himself behind her, he pulled her against his chest and guided himself back between her legs, entering her from behind. He moved and she gasped, her head thrown back on his shoulder, one of Sam's arms supporting her under her breast while the other fell to tease her clit.

Kate gasped at the contact and thrust herself back toward him. Sam's voice was thick in her ear when he spoke, "Is that what you need, Kate?"

"Sam…yes…fuck me…please, baby…don't stop." Kate's words went straight to Sam's cock. The sudden need to feel her come around him while he emptied himself inside her had him pushing against her harder and his fingers rubbing her clit in time to his thrusting.

The hand under her breasts pulled at her nipple while his other made quick circles around her clit. Kate reached back and twisting slightly she managed to pull Sam's lips to hers. She kissed him hard, panting and moving with him. She threw her head back groaning, close, needing more.

Sam leaned forward and Kate fell forward onto her hands, dropping her head between her shoulders as Sam pushed into her impossibly deeper, his fingers moving smoothly over her slickness. Kate's head arched back and Sam felt her clench around him. He moved to grip both her hips with his hands and thrust several more times feeling her body clench his as she sobbed her release into the room.

Sam needed no further encouragement and he threw his own head back and came, deep inside her. He felt her occasional spasm and shivered even as he withdrew and disposed of his condom. He pulled Kate up and back against his chest. Her limbs were heavy and her head lolled to the side as she looked up at him from his shoulder, a soft, sexy smile on her face.

Sam brushed her long hair away and kissed her cheek, "Thank you." He whispered sincerely against her ear.

Kate's eyebrow rose. "No, Sam Winchester, thank you." Then she turned and snuggled against his chest as they fell together into the bed.

**_OK, so there it is. Sammy FINALLY got some :) Totally different from his brother, but in my opinion, just as damn sexy!! Please tell me what you think, because I feel so used when you don't ;) Thanks for reading!_**


	15. Paying Up

**_Short chapter Dean / Logan the morning after..._**

Dean groaned, turned to roll away from the window and pulled at the comforter, since the sun pouring through the window, and the slight chill in the room were keeping him from continued unconsciousness. The warm body beside him stopped him mid-roll. Opening one eye and lifting his head, he took in brown hair spread across a pillow and an arm flung over his chest.

Dean flopped back onto the pillow and tugged at the blanket, attempting to pull it up over his chest, but it wouldn't budge. He frowned when Logan rolled over and the comforter went with her, leaving Dean completely uncovered and quite uncomfortably cold. He growled and moved closer to Logan, again attempting to pull the covers over himself.

"Something wrong?" Logan asked sleepily, buried in her cocoon of blankets. Dean heard the teasing tone of her voice and knew she'd been awake the whole time.

"Damn, right something's wrong. I'm freezing over here sweetheart. Care to share the wealth?" Dean tugged at the blanket attempting to find a way under, but Logan had done a fine job rolling herself in them. Dean wasn't getting anywhere.

"Ahh, are you cold? Why don't you find a blanket then?" Logan yawned and stretched, but remained on her side, back to Dean.

Dean bit his lip in frustration. Logan always found a way to push his buttons and she knew it. "Think I will." Dean muttered and without further preamble stood, stalked to the other side of the bed, grabbed an edge of blanket and pulled. Logan rolled from her cocoon and slid gracelessly to the floor.

Dean, having freed the comforter, wrapped it around himself and set out toward the kitchen, leaving Logan huffing indignantly on the cold floor, a cocky smile on his face and a swagger in his steps. He managed to make it to the bathroom door when Logan tackled him from behind and they both went down, a jumbled mess of limbs and comforter.

The blanket limited Dean's ability to move and he ended up landing awkwardly, biting his lip and bruising a hip. Logan, unconcerned with his minor injuries, and using the comforter to her advantaged, pinned Dean to the floor face down. She straddled his back and giggled when he tried to move and then again when he cursed because he couldn't.

"Damn woman! What the hell are you doing?"

She leaned over, close to his ear and whispered, "You know, I just bested you and I'm pretty sure your exact words were, 'you keep me from getting the upper hand when we spar and then you get whatever you want'. Well, you definitely don't have the upper hand…" Logan pressed a knee into Dean's side, making him grunt, "And there is something I want." Logan laughed and slapped Dean's well blanketed ass, "and since you are such a gentleman, you'll stick to your word and I'll get it, won't I."

"You little…" Dean began, only to be cut off by Logan's lips on his. Just as he started kissing back, she ended the kiss.

"Now, now, be nice or I won't be. Trust me, you'll enjoy every second." Logan kissed him again, and even though it was a bit awkward, she waited until Dean's breathing caught and he struggled to move before she pulled back.

"I'll let you up, but only if you promise to be good." Logan taunted, running a hand through Dean's hair as she watched the expression on his face go from aroused to frustrated to angry in seconds.

"Logan, so help me, you don't get off my back and let me up, I'm gonna make you pay." Dean ground out between clenched teeth and bucked beneath her again.

"Come on, all you have to do is promise to stick to your word and I'll let you up. Stop being a baby about it. I beat you fair and square, suck it up buttercup." Logan gave Dean a quick peck on the cheek and then crossed her arms waiting.

"Fine." Dean said sourly, "You get whatever you want, but when you're done, don't think there won't be payback."

Logan stood, which allowed Dean to move and he tussled with the blanket in frustration as he attempted to stand. Logan simply leaned against the wall and watched, giggled occasionally as he struggled. When he finally stood, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her soundly, making her writhe against him.

He broke the kiss and ran his eyes over her body. She was naked and in the morning light, he could easily see the bruises that marked her skin and he frowned a bit when his hands fell to her hips.

"Sorry, baby." He said softly as he ran his fingers over the bruises, "You had me so hot last night I couldn't help myself." Dean kissed her softly and she melted against him.

Logan shook her head. "I'll live Dean and you didn't hear me complaining last night did you?" Dean smiled and shook his head, slightly, "But, right now you owe me, 'whatever I want', and I happen to know exactly what that is." She smiled seductively and pressed her breasts against Dean's chest.

Dean's hands strayed up her sides to her breasts and her breath caught. Dean's eyebrow arched in amusement and with a slow smile, he asked, "And what is that you do want?"

Logan purred as Dean's hands teased her breasts, but she grabbed his hand and headed back toward the bedroom, "Well, I'll give you a hint…it involves that belt you took off last night."

Dean stopped dead, but when Logan reminded him of the deal, yet again, he allowed himself to be pulled back into the room. He crossed his arms stubbornly, "Just remember Logan, once this is over…I will make you pay."

Logan's laugh, rich, deep and sexy filled the room as she pushed Dean back onto the bed, "Oh, I hope you do…dear god, Dean Winchester, I hope you do."

**_I think I'll do one for Sam / Kate too, so don't worry...as always let me know what you think._**

**_THANKS to everyone who reviews!_**


	16. Just a Memory

**_Really short Kate/Sam chapter..._**

Kate rolled over and stretched out an arm, she sat up when her hand found only cool sheets. The fire, which by morning should be mostly out, roared cheerily in the fireplace, leaving her room warm and comfortable. Kate stretched and she smiled at feeling sore for all the right reasons in all the right places. The clock told her it was past nine, which meant she'd slept in, something she rarely ever did and she figured she should get up and showered.

Thinking she'd find Sam in the shower or kitchen, she threw back the covers, slipped her glasses on and pulled on a t-shirt, before leaving the room. The living area and kitchen were empty, the bathroom door was open and she unexpectedly felt her heart sink at the thought of Sam being gone.

Silently she scolded herself for believing he would be there when she woke up. She'd had a few one-night-stands, not many, but enough to know that most men like to be gone before the awkward, -we've seen each other naked, but I barely know you, now how do you say goodbye- thing happened in the morning. Kate dropped to the couch, brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. Resting her head on her knees, she stared into the fire and sighed, suddenly fighting the urge to cry.

She knew it wasn't love or even infatuation, but she enjoyed Sam's company and well, if she were honest she'd have to admit he was one of the best lover's she'd ever had. She thought they had a connection and she had hoped that maybe, just maybe there was a chance at something more. When she was with him, she hadn't felt alone. In fact, for the first time in a long time she felt wanted, needed and beautiful. Sam helped her remember what it was like to be desirable, not just desired.

Kate wiped her eyes and unfolded herself from the couch. A hot shower, no better yet a nice long bath, and a good workout, maybe some time on the slopes and she'd feel better. Kate headed to the bathroom; a determined smile on her face, in a week, Sam Winchester would be nothing more than an extremely pleasant memory.

**_I know I'm cruel..._**


	17. Tie You Up, Knock Me Down

**_Dean/Logan...I really should be sleeping people!! I have to be up in 4 1/2 hours, but this wouldn't leave me alone, it was demanding it's rewrite and well once it was done I had to post it._**

Dean didn't like it; in fact, if he were honest he would admit he hated it. There were so many reasons to hate it. He hated that fact that it bothered him as much as it did. Hell, he was Dean Winchester, he'd done so many things, fought so many things, killed so many things and been tortured by so many things that this shouldn't bother him, but it did.

It was supposed to be fun, but he couldn't find anything about it to enjoy. Cold sweat coated his body and he moved his head from side to side trying to dislodge whatever it was she'd used as a blindfold. His hands were secured to the smooth logs of the headboard with his belt, the soft, worn leather digging in to his wrists. He cocked his head to the side as he heard Logan move about the room. She was trying to be quiet, but adrenaline had him jacked up enough to pick up the slightest sound.

He jumped at the sudden touch on his arm, twisting away from the light stroke as if it burned. Logan moved again and Dean released a ragged breath. He wasn't going to tell her how afraid he felt, how it was tearing him up inside. He refused to admit it was a problem.

_Deep breath in, deep breath out…nothing to be afraid of Dean, just a pretty girl playing a silly game…come on enjoy it, what red-blooded male wouldn't want to be tied up by a hot number like Logan. ME…ME…ME!!_ Dean's thoughts screamed through his head and he tugged against the restraints again as his panic rose. _Get out, get out, get out…_ A mantra as he began to struggle again and tears slid slowly from beneath the blindfold. _No tears, fuck no, you're not a baby. You are Dean-fucking-Winchester…let me out, let me out…help me, fuck I hate this!_

It was on the fourth, franticly yelled, "Dean!" coupled with a slap that finally broke through his thoughts. Logan had already removed the blindfold, but Dean was so lost in his panic that he had his eyes squeezed shut and he hadn't noticed.

Green eyes, darkened with terror snapped open and scanned the room before finding Logan's blue gaze, as she undid the belt holding his arms. Tears streaked Dean's face and when his hands fell, he threw himself from the bed. He stopped by the door shaking and breathing deep, but unsteady. Dean could hear Logan talking, holding up her hands in surrender, but the words were lost to the pounding of his pulse in his ears.

Dean was confused. Logan's words made no sense and he shook his head, trying to clear it, but the fear wouldn't let him go and he crouched and shifted, moving into a defensive position with his back to the wall. _It's her fault…don't let her go, she tried to hurt me. No! It was a game! Get out, get out, get out…_Pain shot through Dean's head and he grabbed at his head. _Hurt her back, make her pay…she doesn't deserve to live. She's going to hurt you…do it…get out, get out, get out. NO!!_

Logan didn't know what was going on. Dean had been fine. She'd tied his hands, he laughed and kissed her, threatening to return the favor later. He had been obviously aroused and she teased him a few seconds before she covered his eyes with the scarf. Even then, he'd been fine, making smart-assed comments and begging her to touch him then moaning and sighing when she did. She shook her head.

"Dean, what's wrong? It's me, baby. Calm down." She eyed the knife he'd come off the bed with, the Bowie he always kept beneath his pillow. She didn't think Dean would hurt her, but something wasn't right. Dean never panicked.

Dean watched as Logan circled, she unwittingly moved like the hunter that she'd been raised to be. _See, she's going to hurt you…watch her move…hunting, stalking…stop her, do it…get out, get out, get out…safety…stop her…get out, get out._ Dean shook his head again as the pain spread down his arm. His eyes dropped to his hand and he saw the knife. He flipped it lightly in his hand, blade to the side, readied.

Logan backed up two steps, she watched Dean move the knife around in his hand. She knew it meant he wouldn't hesitate to use it. Dread, icy and sharp ran down her spine. She moved back another step, but stopped when she noticed Dean move forward and smile.

Dean's smile was cold and he cocked his head to the side as if listening to something that only he could hear. Logan glanced around for a weapon and found nothing. Another slow step backward and Dean suddenly lunged. Logan managed to dodge most of his momentum, but his left hand grabbed her ankle and she fell, dragging him down on top of her.

Logan tried to breathe, but couldn't, the breath knocked out of her. Tears stung her eyes as she struggled to inhale slowly against the burning pain in her chest. Dean struggled to pull himself over her, the knife still in his hand and Logan kicked out at him. Her foot made contact, but she didn't have any leverage and her bare feet did little good against the hard planes of Dean's chest and back.

Changing tactics, Dean moved and managed to get behind Logan with his arm around her throat. He pulled one of her arms behind her and bent it up at the elbow, applying enough pressure that her slightest movement threatened to dislocate her elbow. Logan gasped for breath, both from having the wind knocked out of her and because of the pressure on her throat from Dean's arm. The edges of her vision began to go black and she tried to slow her heart, but the roaring in her ears told her she was going out. She barely heard his voice, probably a hallucination.

"Dean, what the fuck? Dean…shit…." Logan slipped into unconsciousness.

**_TBC-_**

**_So, what do you think? Be sure to let me know... _**


	18. One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

**_I know...I know...here's another short chapter..._**

_Earlier that morning…_

Sam woke feeling better than he had in months. He rolled to his side and rested his head on his hand, staring down at Kate. She lay on her side, facing him with one hand resting in the small space between them. She had pulled her hair up into a ponytail before falling asleep and a few strands managed to work free while she'd slept. One strand lay across her face and Sam couldn't resist running a finger beneath it and tucking it gently behind her ear.

Kate made a small sound and shifted her head toward Sam's hand. He bent his head, pressed a small, gentle kiss to her forehead, and then eased himself from the bed. Gathering his clothes, he made his way quietly to the living area where he took the time to stoke the fire, in order to chase away the morning chill. Then he headed to the bathroom and ran the shower. He glanced at himself in the mirror and smiled. The hardness he'd been carrying around his eyes and lips was gone, he felt relaxed, well rested and energized, though they hadn't slept much.

After making love, Kate served him her homemade tomato soup and what should have been grilled cheese, only they'd gotten distracted. Kate had just put the sandwiches on the griddle when Sam grabbed her from behind. He pulled her against his chest, kissed her and several minutes later they were laughing from the kitchen floor as the smoke alarm screamed. They'd been forced to open the window to air out the apartment.

Sam smiled broadly, shook his head and climbed into the shower. Between make out sessions, they ended up watching the last part of some old Vincent Price movie Sam hadn't seen in years, then they went back to bed and made love one more time. Sam looked around for soap, but found only apple scented shower gel. He shrugged and lathered himself up from head to toe. Then he grabbed Kate's shampoo and washed his hair.

Sam had only some of the soap rinsed from his hair when it hit him. The pain dropped him to his knees and he gasped, gripping his head with one hand and the shower curtain with the other. Shampoo ran into his eyes, stinging, and he wasn't sure if the tears were from the soap or the pain. One word pulsed with the pain, Dean.

The pain was gone as quickly as it appeared, leaving behind a flash of something; Dean crouched and hurt. Sam stood and finished rinsing soap from his hair. Then he climbed from the shower, dried and began to dress. The second flash left him panting and bent over the toilet vomiting as the pain pounded through his head and down to his gut. It left quickly, but not as quickly as the first.

He stood panting, this time the vision was of a bloody knife...a Bowie and it was buried in his brother's chest.

**_Don't forget to tell me what you think..._**


	19. Metaphysical Bondage

"Dean, what the fuck? Dean…shit, put the knife down, man." Sam stood, panting in the door of the bedroom, snow sticking to his still dripping hair and his boots half tied. His eyes swept the room, looking for anything out of the ordinary. Nothing struck him, but nonetheless his naked brother was on his knees behind an equally naked and now unconscious Logan.

Dean hadn't loosened the chokehold and Logan's color was off. Dean's Bowie knife hovered above her chest and his eyes were wide with panic. He looked up at Sam and pushed the knife toward him with a grunt. Sam pulled back, hands up.

"Dean, what happened?" The empty pain in Dean's eyes made Sam's heart catch. Possession was Sam's first thought, but the tattoo on his brother's chest made that impossible. Spell, haunting, spirit…Sam didn't know, but he had to find a way to reach his brother.

"Hey, Dean…what she do piss you off again?" Sam asked, casually leaning against the wall.

Dean cocked his head and shook it. Dean opened his mouth as if to speak, but nothing came out. _Don't let him in…no…he'll hurt you just like her…get out, get out, get out…fuck, he's going to…._Dean grabbed his head as pain sliced through him again. Tears flooded and poured from his eyes, and the knife pressed between Logan's breasts.

Ten seconds later, it hit Sam. His head flew back into the wall as a sledgehammer of pain slammed between his eyes. Dean, bloody, the knife in Sam's hands. Sam slid to the floor and opened his eyes.

Dean had released Logan and she lay slumped on the floor in a limp puddle. Dean held the Bowie pressed to the left side of his chest. The blade was slowly slicing upward toward the tattoo and suddenly Sam was very scared.

"Dean you have to fight it man. Come on; don't let that motherfucker beat you. Kick its ass. Come on don't be such a bitch Dean." Sam pulled himself up, his words coming in a soothing rush, "Dean, now, fucking do it, now!"

Blood ran down Dean's chest and he glanced down at the knife moving slowly upward. The gash was getting deeper, but it wouldn't matter. One small break in the lines of the sigil and the spell would no longer hold any power. The knife stopped its upward path, less than an inch from the start of the bluish green ink and sank deeper into Dean's chest.

"Saaammm?...!" Dean's strained voice was barely a whisper. Blood was running in a smooth river down his chest, pooling on the wood floor. Dean's arm was shaking with effort, but the knife pressed deeper. Sweat broke out across Dean's face, tears and saliva running down his cheeks and Dean's eyes finally caught Sam's.

Sam saw the panic, but for the first time since he entered the room, he also saw Dean. A sudden flash and the knife sunk into the doorframe, less than an inch from Sam's head. Sam turned his head and looked at the bloody knife, before pulling it from the wood.

Dean sat, half crumpled on the floor, panting, with confusion in his eyes. Sam dropped to his knees and rolled Logan over onto her back. She was breathing and her color had improved, but she was still unconscious. He pulled her into his arms and put her on the bed before covering her with the sheet; then he turned to Dean.

Slowly, he knelt before his older brother. "Hey, Dean…you there man?"

Dean looked up at Sam and nodded, "What happened Sammy?" He gently touched the gash on his chest and winced, "…hurts like a mother."

Sam grabbed his brother's arm, pulled him up and sat him on the edge of the bed. Sam ducked into the bathroom and came out with a couple of towels. He threw them at his brother, who caught them, dropping one into his lap while holding the other to his chest.

Sam pulled the small chair tucked under the desk out and sat in front of his brother. He looked him over, making sure there were no other wounds, and then he leaned forward, his elbows on his knees.

"What the fuck is going on? You two do something, summon something, pick a fight with something, or she just piss you off one too many times?" Sam was only half kidding and when Dean didn't look at him, he nudged his foot with his boot. "Hey?"

Dean looked up at Sam and shrugged, "Don't know..." his gaze fell back to his chest and he blotted at the slow trickle of blood.

"Dean, you can't possibly 'not know' what you were doing, seriously." Sam ran his hands through his hair and crossed his arms over his chest in frustration.

"Dude. What the fuck does it look like we were doing?" Dean flung his hand behind him at the bed and glared at his brother like he was stupid. "Do I really need to spell it out for you? Looking to add some spice to the spank-bank Sammy?"

Sam sighed. He was getting pissed off, "You know what I mean. Something had to happen, you don't suddenly grab a knife and hold it to your lover's throat." Sam eyed his brother critically and added hopefully, "Please tell me it isn't part of your usual foreplay."

"Funny, Sam, funny…" Dean paused at his task of wiping blood from his chest and thighs. "Look, Logan called in something I owed her and turns out she's a kinky little thing," Dean raised an eyebrow and winked, "She was up for a little tie and torture, and turns out she's into leather."

Sam rolled his eyes, though he was glad his brother was returning to normal, "Dean, I don't need the sordid details, just tell me what happened."

"If you'd shut up I would." He glowered at Sam and waited.

Sam shrugged and when he finally leaned back into the chair, resigned that his brother was an ass, Dean continued, "Fine, so Logan had me tied to the bed with my belt, then she blindfolded me and after a few minutes, I started to panic. Terrible thoughts, I couldn't think past them. Next thing I remember, you were standing at the door trying to talk me down." Dean shrugged and then cursed when it hurt his chest.

"Anything like this ever happen to you before?" Sam couldn't help but add a teasing tone to his question, after all, this was the great Dean Winchester...

Dean glared his brother down, "IF you mean getting tied up and tortured until you scream for mercy. Yes. IF you mean being tied up by a pretty woman and tortured until you scream for more…well then yes again. But, if you mean being tied up and having a full out panic attack, then no. Never. Impossible." Dean shook his head.

Dean turned to look at Logan, who now in addition to the bruises on her hips, was sporting several around her throat. Dean tenderly brushed her hair away from her face. "Fuck, Sam. I could have killed her." Dean's voice was low, and Sam would have sworn he was about to cry.

Sam stood, the Bowie in his hand, blood still dripping from it and he realized that this was what he'd seen. Each flash, each vision…he'd seen it. Dean hurt, the knife in Dean's chest and then the knife in his own hand. His knees suddenly a little weak, he sank back onto the chair with a confused, "Damn…"

**_More to come, but don't forget to tell me if you liked it...or even if you didn't. I'm a big girl I can take it ;) Feed the muse..._**


	20. Finders, Keepers

After checking on Logan, Dean took a shower. He told Sam he thought it might be better if he wasn't in the room when Logan woke up. Sam agreed and once he heard the water running he sat down beside Logan and shook her gently.

As she came to, she whimpered and pulled herself into a ball, moving away from Sam. Her eyes finally focused, she saw Sam and threw herself into his arms, sobbing. Sam couldn't help but think how great it was that in the past twelve hours he'd made two girls cry.

"Shh, Logan. It's alright, you're safe." Sam patted her back a little awkwardly, even while she clung to him. She was still naked and it was making Sam a little uncomfortable.

Logan pulled back suddenly and looked up at Sam. Wiping her face with the corner of the sheet, she pulled it up over her chest, "I was so afraid I was hearing things…I really thought you were just my imagination…I thought I was going to die." Logan hiccupped, her voice hoarse from the trauma at her throat and she took several shaky breaths.

Sam reached over and tilted her head to the side gently. He frowned as he traced the deep purple bruises at her throat, then pulling the sheet down, just a bit, his finger brushed the small nick between her breasts. He pulled the sheet back up and looked her in the eyes. "Can you tell me what happened? Dean's a little fuzzy on the details."

Logan stiffened, and attempted to clear her throat, "Is…is he OK? Did you have to hurt him?"

Sam shook his head, "No, I didn't hurt him, but something did. He turned the knife on himself and slashed up his chest pretty good. I think it was trying to take out the tattoo." Sam tapped the left side of his chest. "Dean knows what happened up until he started loosing it, but after that he's…well he didn't have anything useful to tell me. I do know that nothing like this has ever happened to him before. I've seen Dean take all kinds of punishment, but I've never seen him freak out. So, that means there's something else going on."

Logan ran her fingers lightly over her throat. "Honestly, I don't know…" She paused and blushed slightly, looking away and down, "I guess he told you what we were doing?" When Sam nodded she rolled her eyes and sighed, "Dick…anyway he was fine, normal, you know having fun. It started after I blindfolded him with a scarf, actually it was pretty much right after that. At first I thought he was just tense, but then he got really jumpy and he seemed spaced out, he wouldn't let me touch him. He was crying, that's what made me realize something was really wrong…Dean doesn't just cry for no reason."

Logan's voice was going in and out and Sam could tell she was struggling to talk. She swallowed, "I pulled the scarf off and he still didn't open his eyes. When I managed to get his hands undone, he rolled of the bed, grabbing his knife on the way and landed by the door. I couldn't get him to listen to me, but he kept grabbing at his head and crying. I was so scared." She paused again, swallowed and wiped at her eyes, "Then I saw him coming at me, but he caught me…next I know you're waking me up."

Sam sat back and ran his hand over his face. He looked around the room and spotted Logan's pack. "You still have that EMF meter in there?" When she nodded, he reached for the pack and dug around. He pulled it out, flipped it on and began to sweep the room.

The room, the floor, the desk, the bed…the needle spiked into the red. He swept over the bed again, and watched as the needle swung. Higher up the bed, against the headboard and the needle stuck at the top of the meter.

Logan had moved to stand behind Sam and they both eyed the general area of the headboard. Sam swept the EMF detector from left to right slowly. The needle swinging wild and then burying itself at the red-line as the machine passed over the retro pink and green scarf. Sam turned and gave Logan a questioning raise of his eyebrows.

She shrugged. "I…I…" her voice was strained, barely a whisper, "…found it a couple of days ago…I liked it, so I kept it."

Logan pulled the sheet more securely around her and shivered. Sam glanced at her and then back to the scarf, "You didn't notice anything when you picked it up?"

Logan shook her head and then jumped when the bathroom door swung open. Dean stared at his brother and watched as Logan moved almost imperceptibly closer to him. He frowned and stepped into the room, noting how she pressed herself behind Sam. Dean wore a towel wrapped low on his hips and he held another to his chest. He stood there awkwardly for several seconds watching Logan, wanting to say something, needing to say something…anything, but not being able to find the words.

Instead, he strode through the room, talking as he went, "I'm getting dressed. Sam, I'm gonna need a few stitches," and he was gone.

Logan sighed and Sam actually felt her relax. He turned to her and frowned, "You know it wasn't Dean, don't you? He'd never hurt you." Trying for humor he smiled and tugged a strand of Logan's hair, "I'm even pretty sure he likes you, you know really, really likes you."

She pulled away from Sam with a sad smile and a sigh. She headed for the shower. "I'm going to shower." Logan's voice was all but gone, "Tell him I'll be out soon," Logan coughed, "…maybe we can figure out what's going on."

Sam stood by the bed for a few seconds trying to figure out what he was going to do. He flipped off the EMF detector and the scarf caught his eye. Without a second thought he picked it up, the soft silk fluttering against his hand. He brought it to his face and inhaled the scent. It was intoxicating and the next thing he knew he tucked it into his pocket, thinking that the colors would go so well with Kate's hair.

**_I'm leaving for vacation Thursday afternoon 7/24. Don't know what kind of internet access I'll have so this might end up being the last chapter for awhile. If I can, I'll post, if not you'll see more in a week or so...but please don't forget to review :)_**


	21. Lucky Charms and Cursed Objects

_**I'm back from vacation...which was great, but just so you know you all are benefiting from flight delays and lost luggage! LOL, I guess there's always a silver lining ;) OK, as always hope you like it and remember to tell me if you do...or heck if you don't!**_

Sam sat beside his brother and pulled the needle through his skin. Dean didn't flinch, didn't make a sound, only continued to stare over Sam's shoulder at the bedroom door. Logan hadn't made an appearance yet, and Dean was torn. He wanted to reassure himself that she was fine, see her, touch her, hold her, but at the same time he was afraid. He remembered things, things he wouldn't tell Sam, things he wishes he could forget.

Sam finished tying off the fifth stitch and used his pocketknife to cut the silk. He raised his head, "Five stitches and that last bit is really deep…so much for your perfect pecs, huh?" Sam forced a smile while he gathered up the bits and pieces of supplies he had left on the bed and floor.

Dean made a noncommittal sound and glanced down at his chest. He ran a hand lightly over the tattoo, then grabbed a t-shirt and gingerly pulled it over his head. Sam's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Hey, you have anything else to add? Any idea what this thing is up to, what it was or what it wanted?" Sam busied himself putting away the first aid supplies and watched his brother from the corner of his eye.

Dean shook his head, "I wish I did." He paused before heading to the kitchen to grab a bowl of cereal. He jerked his head toward the bedroom door, "How's she doing?"

Sam sighed. He wanted to tell Dean to ask for himself, but he knew that wouldn't go over well, probably with either party, so he answered, "Well, she'll be alright. No major damage, but she's scared. She's pretty tough; don't think she'll be upset for long."

Dean poured a heaping pile of Lucky Charms into a bowl, which Sam eyed skeptically, trying to figure out how Dean was going to get milk into the overflowing bowl, but Dean sat at the counter and ate them dry. Sam arched an eyebrow, catching his brother's gaze.

"Whadt?" Dean said around a dry mouthful of horseshoes and rainbows.

"Suddenly lactose intolerant?" Sam asked, pouring himself a glass of orange juice and sipping it slowly.

Dean shook his head and shrugged while pointing at the fridge, "There's only enough left for one bowl of cereal."

"And?" Sam asked, his voice clearly confused.

"Look Einstein, one bowl, three of us. You don't like Lucky Charms and Logan does. Do the math." Dean answered, shoveling in another huge mouthful of cereal.

Sam was stunned. For two months, Logan and Dean had fought over everything, including things like finishing the last of the milk, but here he was saving the last bit for her. Sam shook his head and gave Dean a small smile.

Dean shoveled in more cereal and then smirked at his brother, "Don't make anything of it, Sammy. It's the least I can do after trying to kill her."

Sam turned away so Dean wouldn't see the smile on his face, yea…he liked her, really, really liked her. Sam suddenly remembered the scarf in his pocket and pulled it out while turning back to Dean. "Hey," Sam sipped more juice and dropped the scarf on the counter between them, "This is what Logan used to blindfold you. It's emitting high EMF readings and I have to admit that while I was holding it I had the overwhelming urge to give it to someone else. Logan and you both say that you didn't start getting weird until after she blindfolded you. What do you think?"

Dean glared at the scarf as he chewed Lucky Charms. He shrugged at Sam, grunting his response, "What are you thinking – cursed object?"

Sam shrugged, "Could be, but whatever it was it was going for the tattoo. Cursed objects don't possess, they influence. Which I guess is what it did with you, but then why go for the tattoo?" Sam watched as Dean began picking the rainbow marshmallows out of his bowl and put them back in the box and he shook his head remembering how Logan had said they were her favorites. He smiled and continued, "I mean it already had you hurt Logan, then you suddenly turned the knife on yourself, but you weren't trying to kill yourself, just take out the spell. Something doesn't make sense."

Dean finished his marshmallow picking then tipped the bowl to finish off the last of his cereal. He chewed loudly, and when he finished he sighed, "Look Sam, we need to figure out what's going on, but I have no clue. Guess that means we get to do some research. We probably need to find out where Logan found the damn thing. If it is cursed, it means it has a history, hell," Dean motioned toward the door, "maybe this place has a history. After all, we didn't come here looking for anything, we just got stuck here when the snow started."

Sam nodded and Dean moved to put his bowl in the sink. They both turned when they heard footsteps in the hall. Logan moved to stand on the opposite Dean and gave him a half-glare, "Hey, hand me a bowl and the milk would ya?"

Dean nodded and pulled a bowl from the drainer next to the sink before reaching into the fridge for what was left of the milk. He put both on the counter in front of Logan and then pulled a spoon from the drawer and laid it beside the bowl. He watched as Logan poured a bowl of cereal and topped it with milk before he turned to grab the juice. He filled a glass and set it beside her bowl as she started to eat.

"Thanks." She said hoarsely, her eyes on her bowl.

Sam watched discreetly from the living area as Dean leaned a hip against the counter and leaned in to talk with Logan. While he wasn't really trying to eavesdrop, he could hear them easily.

Dean laid a hand gently on Logan's and when she lifted her eyes to his he gave her a reassuring smile, "I'm really sorry about this morning. I didn't want to hurt you, baby and I kept trying to stop, but something else was controlling me."

Dean's fingers were tracing little circles on the top of Logan's and when he looked up at her face and saw the panicked look in her eyes he stopped and pulled his hand from hers. "I'm sorry, Logan so sorry. Please, just tell me what I can do to fix it and I will."

Dean's voice was strained with barely contained emotion and he almost lost it when he saw Logan's lips quiver and two tears fall slowly down her left cheek, but when she shook her head and looked away, he clenched his teeth in anger and balled his fists at his sides. Dean pushed away from the counter, grabbed his coat and stormed from the cabin cursing loudly as he slammed the door, leaving a swirl of fresh snow in his wake.


	22. Secrets and Cell Phones

**_More angsty fun with my favorite boys...thanks for reading this far along and please review, because I love to hear from you guys :)_**

Sam watched Dean leave, and thought of going after him, but one look at Logan told him he needed to stay. Logan still sat at the counter, her hand holding a spoon hovering above her cereal, but the look on her face tore Sam's heart in two. Logan's lip quivered and fat tears poured from her eyes, they ran down her cheeks to splatter on the counter. She actually shook, most likely from the fear that sparkled in her eyes. Sam knew exactly what it was because he often felt the same way.

Sam moved cautiously and stood beside Logan. When she didn't register his arrival he gently grabbed her hand, pulled the spoon from it, and turned her to face him. He took both her hands in his and the watched as Logan shook her head and bit her lip so hard she tasted blood. Sam was confused. Sure, he understood she was scared, and upset, but this was over the top.

Sam spoke, trying to convey calm with his voice, "Logan, did anything else happen last night or this morning?" When Logan didn't answer, Sam shook her hands and spoke louder, "Logan, hey talk to me."

Logan's eyes finally caught Sam's and she shook her head. Her hoarse voice trembled as she answered, "No…this isn't really about Dean…this morning just brought up old memories…things I thought I'd dealt with, but I guess I didn't. It's just too much…right now with Dean…and there are things you don't know, things I told Uncle Bobby to keep from you." Logan swallowed and wiped her face with her hands.

"If there is anything that could affect your safety you need to tell us." Sam sat on the stool beside Logan and looked her sternly in the eye, "If there is something, anything out there that scares you so much that you freeze; something that you aren't able to face, it could leave you vulnerable. Hell, Logan it could end up leaving Dean or me open to attack."

Sam hadn't meant what he said to come out as angry as it had, but they'd been hunting together for two months and they routinely depended on Logan to back them up. If there was something she couldn't face then it put them all at risk and their job was risky enough without a wobbly hunter to babysit.

More tears ran down Logan's face, which she ignored while nodding in agreement at Sam. She took a deep, shaky breath, "I know. Bobby said the same thing to me before he called you both to see if you'd let me tag along." She took another breath and this time she did wipe at her eyes before continuing, "I haven't had a problem with it so far, but this morning with Dean...well…I…it…" Logan's voice trailed off as she started hyperventilating.

Sam watched as the panic crept from her eyes out across her face. He stood, grabbed her shoulders and gave her one good shake, "Logan, stop it. You're safe." Her eyes found Sam's face and she crumbled against his chest. He held her for a few minutes, letting her sob against his shirt, before guiding her to the couch in the living area and setting her down.

He watched as she curled her feet up under her pulled a pillow onto her lap. She sat staring into the empty fireplace hugging the pillow, but at least she wasn't hysterical anymore. Sam sat down gently beside Logan and when he reached over to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, she didn't flinch. Encouraged, he tenderly gripped her chin and turned her face to his, when her eyes rose to his he smiled warmly, which earned him a small smile in return.

He wiped the tears softly from her cheeks, brushed her hair form her face and then bent to kiss the top of her head before speaking. "Look, you need to tell us what's going on. It's not fair and like I said, it's damn dangerous to keep a secret that could end up hurting one of us." Sam narrowed his eyes and allowed a bit of his anger to creep back into his voice, "Either you do it, or I'll call Bobby myself, and Logan," Sam paused and waited, when she looked him dead in the eyes he continued, "don't think for one second that he won't tell me the truth."

Logan's lip quivered, but she nodded, grabbed Sam's hand and squeezed it hard, "I'll do it," she sniffed and wiped at her face with her free hand, "but once…so Dean needs to be here too…he's the one whose hurting and I never meant to hurt him." Logan looked away from Sam, gazing into nothingness, "…hell, I made of mess of things…"

Sam gave her a sad smile and gave her hand a squeeze back before dropping it, "He'll be okay, but he's feeling guilty for hurting you right now." Sam glanced around the room, "Will you be okay alone while I go find him?"

Logan nodded and stood, "Yea, I'm going to clean up the bedroom." She motioned to the room.

Sam nodded and stood heading toward the door, "If you need anything, just call." He reached into his pocket, only to find it empty. He checked his other pockets, but his phone wasn't in any of them. "Shit. I must have left it at Kate's place…oh, fuck…Kate." Sam ran a suddenly frustrated hand through his hair and glanced at the clock, ten-thirty. "Shit, shit, shit…"

Logan, needing to change the subject latched onto Sam's words. She gave Sam a broad, knowing smile, "Oh, the dark haired hottie from last night?" She stalked over to Sam and smiled up at him, "And? How was last night, lover-boy? Dean seriously doubted you'd follow through…something like, 'Sam. He's not the love-em and leave-em type, not gonna happen. He'll end up jerking off in the bathroom listening to us through the wall.'" Logan managed to pull off a decent imitation of Dean's cocky attitude.

Sam blushed, "First, Dean's a dick. Second, Kate's definitely not the love-em and leave-em type, but she's probably thinking I am right now since I left while she was sleeping, oh damn and..." Sam paused and looked at the clock again, "It's been too long to claim I went out for breakfast…but, now what? I can't leave it like that, Kate deserves better."

"Just tell her the truth, well not the whole, 'my brother held a knife to the throat of the girl he slept with last night' part, but that you're brother called you in a panic and needed your help. She probably won't want all the details, just to know why you were gone when she woke up." Logan's voice was all but a whisper and she swallowed to clear her throat, "Be honest, and be yourself, Sam. You're one of the sweetest, most dependable guys I know. She's got to know it too, and if she doesn't then, well…she doesn't deserve you."

Sam smiled quizzically down at Logan, "You know for a hard-assed, bad-girl hunter you can be a real softy. Don't let anyone else know…it'll ruin your cred." Sam winked and turned back toward the door, "I'll be back soon, but if you do end up needing something try my phone or Dean's." Sam said as he opened the door. He turned and leveled a serious gaze at Logan, "You can trust him with your life, Logan. He'll sacrifice himself to save the people he cares for, and trust me Logan, my brother cares for you."

Sam left, closing the door behind him. He never saw the huge smile on Logan's face, or the tears that pooled in her eyes and threatened once again to fall.


	23. Reputation, Introduction, Confrontation

**_Three chapters, yea I know they're short, but they naturally ended where they did. Please review, I've almost got the next chapter ready and since I'm all jet-lagged and can't sleep when I should, it might just get posted really soon. Thanks for reading!_**

_Meanwhile…_

Dean continued to stomp through the snow, pissed at himself and at the world in general for being such a bitch to him. He'd spent some time in the Impala, cleaning guns and sharpening knives and when that wasn't burning off enough nervous energy, he started walking.

He never meant to hurt Logan and seeing her hurt and scared because of what he did made him realized how much he actually cared for her. Hell, he wasn't about to call it anything more than friendly lust, but he liked her, she made him happy and he wanted to spend more time with her.

Dean clenched his jaw and ground his teeth in frustration. All he wanted was some happiness, some normalcy in his world of never-ending chaos. His run in with the Djinn made him realize how much it meant to have someone to curl up in bed with after a long hunt. Dean wanted someone who understood his fear, his pain and who didn't ask why he went back out fighting every day. Sam was great, he understood, he got it, but hell, he wasn't about to curl up in bed with his brother or cry on his shoulder like a girl.

Dean sighed and walked, paying no attention to where he was going, simply moving away from Logan, away from the pain he caused her, hoping that space would make the difference. Silently, he prayed to anyone, or anything, that would listen that she'd be okay, that things between them would be okay, but he was scared, so scared. Dean paused his stomping when he came to a crosswalk of pathways, waiting for several early skiers to pass before he could continue on past the main lodge.

"Dean?" Dean turned when he heard his name called hesitantly from near the lodge. "Dean Winchester?"

Dean looked up to see a girl, who looked vaguely familiar, coming toward him; her long dark hair was pulled back beneath a knitted cap and sunglasses covered her eyes. Dean still hadn't placed her when she arrived at his side. She was pretty, reasonably tall, probably about five-nine, and dressed for running.

Dean gave her a half-smile/half-smirk and as usual poured on the charm, "I doubt I would have forgotten your name, so maybe you just know me by reputation?"

Kate rolled her eyes behind her sunglasses, "Um…no, not really, but I know your brother and I saw you in the bar with him last night; we weren't really introduced, though." Kate shifted nervously from foot to foot, "Sam left his phone and I was hoping you'd give it back to him." Kate reached into the pocket of her down vest and pulled out Sam's phone. She looked up at Dean, held the phone out to him and twisted her lips into a sad smile. "By the way, would you please thank him for renewing my belief that all men are the same?"

Dean nodded confusedly and cleared his throat, "Sure, ah, but are we talking about the same Sam Winchester?" Dean paused, confusion plastered on his face, waiting for her answer.

Kate nodded, "If you are Dean Winchester then yes, we are talking about the same Sam. Last night you stalked off after that cute little brunette." Despite being upset, Kate couldn't help smiling and teasingly asking, "By the way, how'd that work out for you?"

Dean was shocked into silence, his jaw dropped open and he was about to say something rude when he heard his name yelled from behind him. He turned to see Sam, jogging up the snowy path toward them.

Kate cursed quietly, making Dean chuckle darkly, before she turned to head the other direction, hoping to avoid a confrontation with Sam, but Sam saw her.

"Kate, hold up, please. Let me explain." Sam stopped beside his brother and took a couple of deep breaths, before pushing his hair up out of his face.

Kate paused her exit and turned back to face Sam. She looked him in the eye and gave him a cold smile, "Look Sam, you don't have to explain anything. I get it. You're just here for a few days and we had our fun. There's no need to make anything more out of it." Kate lifted her chin and crossed her arms protectively over her chest, "I'm not angry with you, though after last night I did have hope that you'd be decent enough to face me in the morning. You know have a cup of coffee, kiss me goodbye, maybe even lie and say you'd look me up next time you were in town, but I guess I misjudged you."

Dean wagged his eyebrows and whispered, quite loudly, "Way to go little brother!" This earned him a sharp jab to his side, causing Dean to exclaim painfully, "Ummph, hey watch the stitches, bitch!"

Sam glared his brother down, "Shut up, jerk."

Dean threw his hands up in surrender, "Hey, I'm just saying…" Sam shot his brother a look indicating that serious bodily harm would result from continued commentary. When Dean mumbled, "Fine," and when Sam was content that the comments would stop, he turned back to Kate.

Kate's angry gaze held a hint of amusement from watching the two act like twelve year olds, but she crushed it when her eyes met Sam's. Sam smiled, "Kate, look, I'm really sorry, but there was an accident and Dean," Sam motioned to his brother, who was standing at his side pretending to be uninterested in the conversation, "called me needing help."

Kate's eyebrow shot up, "Really? Because I don't remember hearing your phone, and you could have woke me up to tell me you were leaving."

Sam frowned and his shoulders slumped defeatedly. He sighed, "You're right and maybe I should have, but Dean was so upset...things were pretty bad and well, I just didn't think about it. I'm really sorry and you deserve better. I'd like to make it up to you, if you'd let me."

Kate's expression softened, "You really only left because your brother needed your help?"

Sam nodded and glanced at Dean who shrugged. Sam cocked his head to the side and answered honestly, "Um, yea. Dean's the only family I have left and when he called, I went. He was hurt pretty bad, actually ended up needing five stitches to a nasty cut on his chest and our partner, Logan, well she's shaken up pretty badly."

Kate nodded and smiled warmly, "I'm glad you were there for your brother, wish you would have been there for me this morning, but…" Kate moved to stand in front of Sam and reached up to lace her arms around his neck, "…like I said last night, you really do need to be grateful for the family you have left. " She tossed a glance at Dean, who was still standing beside Sam with a bemused look on his face, "Even when they are pain in the ass, smart-mouthed, jerks."

Kate pulled down, forcing Sam's head lower. He was laughing, but she kissed him anyway, forcing his laughter into a smothered moan. Having accomplished that she pulled back, ending the kiss and listened to Dean's laughter.

Dean pounded Sam on the back. "Like I said...way to go Sammy!"

Dean barely managed to dodge the elbow that Sam aimed at his side.

TBC...really soon!


	24. Behold Heaven, Feel Like Hell

**_Heavy on the angst...hey, you know the drill. FEED THE MUSE!_**

Sam promised Kate dinner at the lodge for ruining her morning, and when she went off for her run, he turned back to Dean.

"You okay?" Sam asked, eyeing his brother critically. He knew the answer, hell anytime he had to ask it was because Dean wasn't okay. Dean shook his head, which surprised Sam and his words surprised him even more. Denial was Dean's survival tool, admitting a problem…well, that's one of those things Dean simply never did.

"No, Sammy I'm not. I'm happy everything's working out for Sam, but life's a bitch to Dean today. I'm fucked up, life is fucked up and hell, I'm feeling damn sorry for myself right now. So, if you wouldn't mind leaving me alone I'll get back to it." Dean's voice was almost devoid of emotion and he pushed past Sam to continue his hike.

Sam grabbed his shoulder and pleaded, "Dean, listen…"

Dean shook off his brother's hand and snapped, "No! You listen, Sammy. I'm not in the mood for your psychobabble, Dr. Phil shit right now. I'm pissed off and I think I have the right to be, so unless you can wave a magic wand and make it all better, get the hell out of my way."

Sam stood in front of his brother and refused to let him pass. It took Dean all of five seconds to haul off and punch him square in the jaw. Sam fell backward and landed in the snow, grasping his jaw and glaring up at Dean. "What the?"

Dean ignored the growing glares from bystanders and stared down at his brother. He stepped over Sam's legs to continue his walking and as he did Sam twisted his legs bringing Dean down beside him, then he grabbed his arm, "That was just wrong, but right now I'm not going to get into that with you." Sam stood and yanked his brother up to stand beside him. "Shit, man you have a killer right hook."

"Let me go Sam, I mean it. I need to figure some things out." Dean tried to shake off his brother, but Sam held him this time.

"Stop being a stubborn jackass and listen to me. I came out here to find you because Logan wants to talk to you…well you and me. Seems she has something she's been keeping from us." Sam released Dean's arm when he realized Dean wasn't fighting him anymore. "She's waiting for us at the cabin."

Dean didn't move, just continued to stare at his brother, prompting Sam to ask, "Well, you coming or what?"

Dean frowned and Sam was struck by the sadness that seemed to surround him like a fog, "Sam, I'm not sure I want to know what she has to say. " Dean's eyes met his brothers and Sam was surprised that he didn't even try to hide the pain and disappointment from him, "I get it. I hurt her; she has every right to be hurt and scared of me. I'm just so tired Sammy, so sick and tired of life fucking me over, time and time again."

"Dean I…" Sam began, only to find himself interrupted by his brother.

"Don't Sammy, don't try to make an excuse or make it all better. However you want to spin it, there's no way around the fact that it was me who hurt her." There was a glimmer of desperation in Dean's voice, as if he was pleading with Sam to understand. "When Dad was possessed and that piece of shit demon tortured me, or hell even when you did all that shit when you were possessed, there was still an angry part of me holding it against you both."

Dean tapped his chest lightly, "I knew here it wasn't you or Dad, but," Dean reached up and touched his temple, "it didn't always translate to here. The nightmares didn't make it any easier and in the back of my head, and if you're honest, way in the back of yours," Dean's voice was stretched to cracking with tension and emotion, "there's always that nagging little thought that maybe, just maybe a part of Dad or you enjoyed it."

Dean took three shaky breaths, in an attempt to control his rising emotion and it suddenly dawned on Sam why he was so upset. Sam moved, before his brother could react and pulled him into a rough hug, "Shit, man…it wasn't you who enjoyed it."

Uncharacteristically, Dean clung to his brother and struggled to control the tears that were threatening to spill. Sam let Dean pull himself together and then leaned back, but kept his arm on his shoulder. He locked his gaze with Deans and frowned, "Come on, you can't seriously think you would enjoy hurting her can you?"

Dean shrugged, his voice still a bit rough, but more under control he answered, "Be honest with me Sammy, wasn't there a tiny part of you that got a rush off of it, the power, the loss of control." Dean glanced at the snow beneath his feet and dragged his hand harshly through his hair, "Because, I did and I fucking hate myself for it."

Sam didn't know what to say, he knew what Dean was talking about, that little thrill of anticipation, like watching a horror movie and knowing that the poor innocent teen was about to get shredded, but he wouldn't say he enjoyed it. It was more like watching and waiting and then covering your eyes and screaming _NO, NO, NO_ when it actually happened.

Sam's grip tightened on Dean's shoulder and he gave it a small shake, "Listen to me. You can't trust anything you felt, you were under the influence of something trying to make you do things you didn't want to do. Of course, you're gonna get a thrill out of it, that's what the thing wants; you to start to like what it makes you do. That's how demon's operate. The more willing you are to do what they want the more power they have over you." Sam looked Dean dead in the eyes, "Did I enjoy it? At the time, in some weird way, yes. Would I enjoy doing any of that shit now? No. So, do I think that makes Dad, you, or me a cold-blooded killer? No. So, stop feeling sorry for yourself for the wrong damn reasons. Logan, needs to talk to us, particularly you and you're gonna listen to her, if I have to hog-tie you and drag you back down the mountain."

Dean snorted, "Like to see you try, bitch."

Sam rolled his eyes, but smiled, because Dean was at least acting normal, "Don't tempt me, jerk."


	25. Things We Wish We Never Knew

_**WARNING: Contains graphic imagery, gore and rape...if it's not your thing skip it. PM me and I'll give you the basics. O**__**h yeah, and lots of angst in here too...**_

Logan cleaned the blood from the floor in the room, tears mixing with the warm water and shampoo she mixed in the ice bucket. Her thoughts many miles and years from Colorado. She hated how vulnerable she felt, how exposed and helpless the memories made her. It forced her to remember that her practiced bravado was just an act, one she'd managed to perfect over the past nine years, but an act nonetheless.

She wrung the washcloth out a final time and then used a bath towel to dry the floorboards, some of the blood had stained, and she shrugged, because there wasn't much she could do about it. She emptied and rinsed the ice bucket and then hung the towels on the towel bar in the bathroom. When she looked at herself in the mirror, she didn't see the bold, sexy twenty-three year-old hunter she portrayed herself as, but rather the broken and terrified fourteen-year-old she'd been when her world fell apart.

Logan splashed cold water on her face, and dried with a hand towel before grabbing her makeup and attempting to cover the bruises that showed above her collar. She was so lost in her thoughts and her task that she didn't hear Sam call her from the living room. When he pushed the bathroom door gently open she jumped, and pulled a knife from her boot.

She immediately lowered it when she realized it was Sam, and breathing a sigh of relief she smiled, "You coulda knocked. What if I was attending to business?"

Sam laughed, "Uh-ha, and last I knew you seemed to think walking in on Dean or me was fine…and you never shut the door anymore, so you must not care too damn much. Not to mention the times you've paraded you naked ass through the bedrooms we've all shared."

"Point taken." Logan feigned interest in screwing the cap back onto her foundation bottle and rifling through her makeup in an attempt to avoid leaving the safety of the small bathroom. "You find Dean?" She asked, hoping he hadn't and she could stall a bit longer.

Sam crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the doorframe, "Yea, he's pretty upset with himself over the whole thing and you two need to sit down and have a serious talk." Sam paused and caught Logan's eyes in the mirror. He saw the strain in her eyes which prompted him to ask, "Hey, are sure you want to tell me whatever it is you have to tell?"

Sam watched as Logan's eyes filled with tears, but she sniffed and nodded. "It's not something I want to tell more than once and…" she paused and looked around a little panicked, "…well, I'm not sure I can get it out if I don't feel reasonably safe. My emotions are all off and you tend to be able to ground your brother and me." She reached out, grabbed one of Sam's hands, and gave it a desperate squeeze, "so yes. I want you here."

Sam nodded, "Okay, whenever you're ready, then." Sam left and went out to the living room, where Dean was pacing by the fireplace.

Dean stopped when Sam slumped into the recliner by the window. "She doing okay?" Dean asked, taking a seat on the hearth, across from the couch.

Sam shrugged, "I think so, she'll be out in a minute. I think she's trying to pull herself together." Sam gave his brother a sad smile, "Shit, man I'm not sure we really want to know whatever it is she has to tell us."

Dean was about to say something when he noticed Logan standing behind the couch. He stood and not wanting to startle her, he moved slowly to stand behind the couch with her. He offered her a smile and held out his hand, waiting. She grabbed his hand hesitantly, and tried unsuccessfully not to jump when he pulled her closer. Her panicked eyes found Sam's and he nodded reassuringly to her. By the time Dean wrapped her in his arms she was able to relax somewhat.

Dean buried his face in the curve of her neck and inhaled her scent like a man half-starved, but when she didn't hug him back he dropped his arms and stepped away, "I'm sorry, Logan…I just needed to reassure myself you were okay." Dean gently grasped her hand and led her around the couch. When she sat, he tried to pull his hand from hers and take his seat back on the hearth, but she shook her head and patted the cushion beside her.

Dean sat on at the other end of the couch, their clasped hands resting awkwardly on the cushion between them. Logan fidgeted nervously and glanced from Sam to Dean and back again.

Sam leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, concern in his eyes, "Logan, if you're not ready you don't have to do this now."

Logan gave him a half-smile and nodded, "I know, but it's something you both should know." She paused and looked at Dean when he gently tugged her hand.

He smiled. "You know, whatever it is it won't change anything."

Tears clouded her vision and she pulled her hand from Dean's to wipe at her face in frustration, "Shit, I hate crying all the damn time." Logan took a deep breath and raised her head, "Okay, so you know that Bobby is the only family I have left, right?" When both boys nodded she continued, "Right, he told you my parents were killed during a hunt when I was fourteen, and that's true."

Sam shifted, "Bobby told us that your parents knew our father, and that they sometimes hunted together." His voiced softened, "He said that your parents and brother were killed on a hunt, and then you went to live with your father's mother. She sent you to college but after she died, I think he said a couple of years ago, you tracked Bobby down and asked him to help you start hunting."

Dean nodded his agreement, "Bobby told us you had good instincts, but you were stubborn and he thought you might do better hunting with hunters closer to your age…said Dad owed you're parents for something they never had a chance to collect on and well we figured we should honor debt and take you on."

Logan smiled, they were both attempting to make her feel more comfortable, and it was working…so far. She nodded, "What I wouldn't let Bobby tell you is what happened on that hunt, how my parent's died, or that I was on the hunt with them."

"Shit…" came from both boys, almost at the same exact time.

Logan's voice quaked and she swallowed the lump in her throat, "It…damn, this is harder than I thought…" Logan stopped, unable to continue for a few minutes. She grabbed Dean's hand and held it tightly, forcing the panic down.

Sam's voice came quiet from across the room, "Just start at the beginning and take your time."

Logan nodded slowly, glancing at Sam and then back to Dean, who smiled and gripped her fingers. He whispered, "It's gonna be alright, just breathe and let it out."

Logan took a breath and closed her eyes, letting everything around her fade into the background. She rolled her shoulders and focused on her breathing. She opened her eyes a minute or so later, and her voice was a bit slower when she spoke, "I was in therapy for years and well it helps if I focus while I'm talking…so don't freak out."

She closed her eyes and began breathing again, slow and deep. She let her shoulders droop and she relaxed back into the couch, but her right hand still gripped Deans. She nodded once then started talking:

_It was January and it was cold. My parents always travelled in an old RV. It really was a piece of crap, but it got the job done. Not to mention my father had all kinds of hidey-holes and we flushed the often broken toilet with holy water. I was fourteen, and this was my third hunt. My brother was seventeen and he was driving ahead of us in my dad's old Ford pickup._ Logan smiled, _He really thought he was cool driving that old piece of crap, but he'd just gotten his license, not that he hadn't driven before, but now dad was letting him do it all the time…hell, our parents taught us to drive as soon as we were old enough to see over the wheel and touch the pedals. Dad always said it was a useful skill._

_Anyway, both of my previous hunts had been pretty basic "salt and burns", you know run of the mill hauntings, nothing big. This was supposed to be a haunted highway, though we weren't sure who was haunting or why, only that motorists were showing up dead and it looked a bit ritualistic._ Logan rolled her eyes and cleared her still hoarse throat. _Dad had a theory that it was a recently departed member of some witch coven that had held power in the area, with the last member killed accidentally by another hunter._

_My brother, Finley (we called him Finn) had driven ahead to find somewhere to pull off and park the RV or better yet a motel for the night. He called back on the radio that there were some stranded motorists, three twenty-somethings, two boys and a girl, their car was stuck in ditch and the snow was coming down fast. He said they didn't look good, that they'd been stuck half the day and being winter in upstate New York, the wind-chill had been single digits and it had been snowing all day._

Logan shivered and her eyes popped open in a panic. She held Dean's hand and glanced between the brothers, Sam smiled and when Dean caressed his thumb over her knuckles, she looked back to him. He raised his eyebrows, "Hey, you're okay…Shh, you're doing great. Take your time." Logan took a couple more breaths and relaxed again, allowing her eyes to drift closed.

_Finn told my parents he was taking them to the motel he'd already scouted out. They told him we'd meet him there…we were about fifteen minutes behind him. We passed the stranded car a few minutes later and then true to my parent's estimation, about ten minutes later we pulled up to one of those motels that has individual cabin like rooms. _

_The truck was parked in front of number 12. Dad slid the RV in next to the truck. The door was locked, so dad knocked and eventually Finn came out. He smiled and introduced us to the two boys; Brice and Allen and told us that Kara was in the shower. We said our hellos, they offered their thanks and we went and got our own room._

Logan stopped and began to breath deeper, and her words had been all but flying out. Dean could feel the tension in her grasp and he glanced at Sam, who shrugged. Dean whispered softly to her, "Shh, baby…you're safe, remember that." He pulled her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss above her knuckles and when her breathing slowed, she nodded.

_It was two, I know because my brother's damn watch was set for two am. I woke to it ringing by my head. I couldn't move and with my face pressed into the mattress, I couldn't see very well. My head was lifted by my hair and I remember crying, because it hurt and I was scared. _

_My brother twisted my head and lowered his face to mine, but it wasn't my brother…_Logan screwed her eyes shut and wiped at tears. She caught a sob, swallowed and began to rock back and forth. _His eyes, they looked right through me. He turned my face so I could see my parents. My father was tied to a chair, gagged and he stared in horror as my mother was being raped by Brice and Allen. She was crying, but…_

"Oh, god…I don't think I can do this..." Logan cried in a panic.

Sam moved from his chair and knelt beside the couch. One glance at the black look on Dean's face and he knew he couldn't sit by and not do anything. Sam grabbed Dean's arm and squeezed hard to get his attention. When Dean's eyes met, his he shook his head and then gently placed Dean's hand onto Logan's shoulder.

Sam spoke softly, "Hey, Logan. Open your eyes look, Shh." When she did open her eyes, he smiled.

Dean's voice caused Logan to look wildly at him. "Logan, you don't need to tell us anymore, please, it's hurting you." Dean didn't care about the tears in his own eyes and he let them run down his face. When she shook her head, his eyes drifted shut and he groaned.

She sniffed, "No, I need to finish."

Dean knew where this was going and it broke his heart. He didn't want to hear it, but knew she needed to tell it. He hated it already. "Hey, baby. Deep breath, in and then out." Dean said softly before he took a breath, encouraging her to breathe with him.

Logan focused on her breathing and closed her eyes.

_My father turned his head away from my mother, but Finn threatened to do the same to me if he didn't watch. I watched it break my father's heart as those…those, things tore apart my mother's spirit and body. Finn kept whispering things in my ears, things I didn't understand, things that at fourteen I didn't know about. He made me watch as my mother stopped fighting. Eventually they got bored, and they pushed her to the floor. My god, there was blood everywhere, and…she never moved again... _Logan panted, forcing her self back under control and then continued.

_The three of them laughed and beat my father, trying to get him to respond. When he didn't they turned to me. The Finn-thing pulled me in front of my father, then he took a knife, and…_Logan began to hyperventilate in earnest. Her panic was a physical presence in the room; she all but vibrated with it.

Dean pulled her into his arms, and crushed her to his chest. He held her and rocked her while he kissed her hair and ground out, "Dammit Logan! That's enough…enough. No more, we understand, we know. Those pieces of shit tortured your family, used you to hurt each other."

Logan didn't fight Dean, she held onto him as if he was a lifeline. Sam stood beside them, not knowing whether to stay or to go, but feeling like throwing up where he stood. He wished he had left as Logan wept softly against Dean's shoulder. Her words filled with pain, loss, anger and remorse.

_They raped me, for hours…one at a time and together…I begged them to kill me, but they just laughed and did it again and again. I thought the worst part was my father; they made him watch and then made me watch as they killed him, slowly…he lasted for hours as they bled him._

Sam hadn't realized how hard he had fisted his hands until he felt sharp pain as his nails formed little crescent shaped cuts in his palms. He'd also bit his cheek and the coppery taste of his own blood filled his mouth, adding to his nausea.

Dean pulled back and held Logan by the shoulders at arms length. "I'm sure it was the worse part…" but when Logan's blank eyes found Deans. When she shook her head Dean closed his eyes, "…shit, please, baby no."

Logan looked up at Sam and nodded. "They couldn't have left it at that. Eight months later…even though I tried to kill it everyway possible, eight months later that damn thing clawed its way out of me. My grandmother arranged for her to be adopted. I don't know where she is, but they named her Lilith."

Sam covered his mouth and ran for the bathroom. Dean stood, paced and feeling the need to destroy something, punched his fist through the closet door.

_**OK, so what do you think...this has been stuck in my head and well as usual, things stuck in my head end up written into a story. I hope it goes over well, anyway let me know...whether good or bad. **_

_**crossing fingers and hoping for good**_


	26. Unwanted Revelations

Logan sat crumpled on the couch. She felt hollowed out and a few random, leftover tears managed to escape her swollen eyes. She wiped at her nose with the back of her hand and watched as Dean moved around the room with barely concealed rage. Sam hadn't returned from the bathroom, but she hadn't heard any new retching for several minutes and she could, just now hear the water running in the sink.

The cabin had gone silent after Sam's vomiting and Dean's remodeling, the only sound now was Logan's occasional sob, sniff or hiccup. She sighed and pushed her hair back behind her ears. She found herself sitting cross-legged and rocking, her mind strangely blank, in the aftermath of the equivalent of tearing a scab from an older cut. Emotions oozing out slowly, the pain dulled by time, but still fresh enough to hurt.

Logan wanted to yell at them, both of them, tell them to say something. She felt like a leper, no one wanted to be around…keep your distance and you'll be just fine. She heard Sam in the kitchen and watched him fill a glass with water and take a drink, when he caught her watching him; he gave her a shaky smile. Ever thoughtful, he filled a glass and brought it with him to the couch. He handed it too her, she took a long sip, but that he wouldn't meet her eyes, that one thing, made the tears fall again.

"Fuck!" She yelled at them, both, setting the glass on the cocktail table, "Both of you look at me." Dean reacted to the panic in her voice and stormed back into the living area eyeing Sam.

"What did you say, Sammy?" Dean's eyes glinted with anger, the knuckles on his right hand were bloodied and there were several scratches on his forearm. He looked from Logan to Sam and back again.

Logan stood, holding up her hand. "He didn't say anything, that's the problem. Ever since I finished talking you two haven't spoken a word to me…or, hell even to each other." She took a deep breath and cleared her throat as her tears stung her cheeks. "Please…" was all she managed, her voice cracking with desperation as she slumped back onto the couch.

Sam moved toward her, but Dean's growl stopped him and he paused, but when Dean didn't move Sam dropped to his knees beside the couch and tenderly brushed Logan's hair from her face, tucking long strands behind her ears. He cupped her cheeks and his thumbs gently traced her cheekbones, wiping away her tears. When she wouldn't lift her eyes, he pulled her chin up with one hand until she did.

Dean stood stiffly watching as his brother comforted Logan. She began to cry again, sobbing against Sam's shoulder. He continued to watch as Sam pulled himself onto the couch then pull Logan into his arms. His eyes met Sam's and his confused expression clearly stated, "I don't know what to do."

Sam comforted Logan awkwardly while glaring at Dean who stood there staring. He cursed his emotionally stunted brother silently, wishing he could grow up just a bit quicker. Sam knew without a doubt that Logan would rather have Dean comfort her.

Logan pulled back, "I'm sorry…I..." She whispered as she sat back up and settled back against the couch, unable to continue, her thoughts all jumbled.

Dean pressed his lips together and crossed his arms. He stared blankly into the room, reminding Sam of a stubborn kid, knowing he should do something, but refusing to. Sam knew there were still things they needed to discuss, so he cleared his throat and when that failed to get his brother's attention, he quietly called his name, "Dean…" When Dean did look up, all his rage and his sorrow and his fear shining clearly in his eyes, Sam frowned.

Dean nodded, knowing that Sam was thinking about things…things Dean tried to ignore, things he wanted to pretend never happened. He also knew that somehow, Logan's past was intertwined with theirs. "Logan," Dean took a step toward the couch, looked down at Logan and when she shifted her head to face him, he continued, "We need to talk…Sam and me, well me mostly…we have a few things to say."

Fear flashed across Logan's face and she sat up, looking from Sam to Dean and back again, "Wha…what is it?"

Sam moved to sit on the hearth across from the couch, "Logan, I don't know how to say this, but Lilith…" he paused, and ran both hands through his hair. How do you tell someone this, "Shit, Lilith holds a contract on Dean's soul and she wants me dead."

Logan's eyes went wide and she shook her head, "No…it…first she's only eight, she can't possibly be…" Panic spread across her face just before she bent, grabbing at her head, "No, no, no, no…Not now! No!"

Logan's entire body tensed, her head flung back on the couch, her fingers curling into fists and her eyes screwing shut. Dean's confused glare, met Sam's just before they both bent, grabbing at their own heads in agony.

Logan released a strangled moan and then slid from the couch to the floor and the pain was suddenly gone.

Sam was the first to recover and he moved toward the couch and grabbed at Dean, shaking him until he responded. Dean grabbed his head, "What the fuck?! Shit, Sammy I remember that pain from when I was tied up…same damn thing kept happening."

Sam nodded as he bent to help his brother pull Logan from the floor, "Me too…mine comes with the visions." Together they pulled Logan up between them and she came to with a groggy moan, fighting weakly against the hands that held her firmly, but gently.

Her eyes found Sam's and he released a small gasp of surprise, her irises were pale, a clear aqua blue, she blinked and suddenly they were their normal vivid blue. He shook his head in confusion, unsure whether what he'd just seen was real. Logan sat between the boys, tense, afraid and unsure what to do.

Dean broke the silence, "What the hell was that?" and Logan turned toward him as she sighed.

She gave him a puzzled look, "Don't really know, but it started almost two years ago…it just happens sometimes when I'm upset or scared about something."

Dean's gaze swung to his brother's, saw his own confused surprise echoed in his baby brother's eyes and shook his head, "Can't be, Sammy…but it does make some weird kinda sense."

Sam nodded, "But, Dean…" Sam stopped and grabbed Logan's shoulder and abruptly turned her to face him, "Logan, this is important. Have you ever seen a yellow-eyed demon?"

Logan's jaw dropped and her eyes almost popped from her head as she pulled away from Sam, "I…what," She swallowed and looked at Dean when he grabbed her arm gently.

Dean's voice was grim, and fear moved beneath the cool green of his eyes, "Please Logan, just answer the question."

She nodded, "Bu…but how do you know?"

Sam stood and paced frenetically around the room. His agitation only heightening Logan's anxiety. He turned to face Dean and Logan before squatting down in front of them, "Logan, has he ever said anything to you? Done anything?"

Sam watched as a shudder shook Logan from head to toe, he watched when Dean startled at Logan's hand grasping his and his heart almost broke when she spoke, the panic swirling again in her eyes. Her voice was a strained whisper, hoarse with emotion, but the brothers heard her easily, "He was one of those…those bastards that killed…" She pressed her eyes shut and shivered, "…it was Finn."

_**It's getting really heavy, I might have to lighten it up soon...then again, maybe not ;) More secrets...and so much more to come. Thanks to everyone who reviews, it means alot, which reminds me...feed the muse! **_


	27. Unselfish Reasons

**_And now for something completely different...not really, but this chapter is relatively angst-free._**

Later that day Sam stared blankly at the screen of his laptop, his mind flowing where it chose. It was all too much of a coincidence to mean nothing and while he didn't want to admit it, that scared him. He read the screen again, looking for some pattern or connection about deaths and the damn scarf. After a few minutes, he sighed and flipped the screen closed in frustration before he flopped back onto the couch. He hoped Dean was having more luck talking with the locals.

It had been taken another hour for the three of them to muddle through all the newly revealed information. Sam, and to a limited degree Dean, told Logan everything they knew and they managed to glean a bit more information from Logan, none of it particularly useful.

Logan's family was killed and Azazel was involved, in fact, there was a chance that Lilith was his daughter, but as far as Sam knew, Lilith held no love for Azazel…hell if demons even gave a damn-Sam had no clue. Of course, Logan was Lilith's mother, which made for all kinds of strange family ties. Sam closed his eyes in frustration and rubbed at his aching forehead in irritation. He remembered Logan telling them that Yellow-Eyes kept whispering things she didn't understand to her and Sam wanted to ask her what he'd said, but he hadn't worked up the nerve to ask her.

Somehow, it seemed that Logan had some kind of power, none of them were sure what it was, but it had manifest itself around the same age that it had in Azazel's "special children". That was even more confusing because Sam couldn't figure out why Logan hadn't been included with the others.

There were too many unanswered questions and nothing was making much sense. Sam's head was aching, but when he glanced at the clock, he sighed in satisfaction. In less than an hour, he was meeting Kate at the lodge for dinner.

Sam sat up and headed to the bathroom to shower. He hadn't heard from Logan since she disappeared into her room after making a bologna sandwich right after Dean had left. He knocked lightly on her door. After knocking again and still not getting a response, he figured she was sleeping and turned to go. He'd gone two steps when the door opened behind him.

"Dean?"

Sam turned and gave Logan a smile, shaking his head. "Hey, he's not back yet, but he should be soon." Sam frowned as disappointment clouded Logan's eyes. "How you holding up?" he asked quietly.

Logan shrugged and smiled, her voice cocky and sarcastic, but strong, "I'm fine, Sam, confused all to hell, but fine. Especially now that I know I gave birth to Rosemary's Baby, that her father may or may not have been the crazed demon asshole that drove the guy I care about, _and finally_ just slept with, to make a stupid deal…ah no offense, Sam…"

When Sam shook his head and gave her a crooked smile she continued, "…a deal that only gives him a few more months to live, AND that my half demon-spawn offspring is the bitch holding said contract. Hey, then you tell me my headaches might mean I have some kind of hoodoo-demon-voodoo magical power, which would be halfway cool IF I knew what the hell it were and how to control it. Oh, and how could I forget that the flesh of my flesh is also gunning for my lover's brother…yeah, don't know how I forgot that. So all in all, how else would I be?"

"Okay…guess that about covers it, then." Sam said, slightly shocked that even though she was hurting, she was fighting and trying to bounce back. Sam struggled with the next question, fighting between what he knew he should do and what he wanted to do. His unselfishness winning he shrugged, "I was wondering if, since Dean's not back and all, if you wanted to come to dinner with Kate and me?"

Logan cocked her head to the side and looked up at him as if he was half-crazy. "Like you need a tag-a-long Sam, I'll be fine really. You go and have fun."

Sam shook his head, "Come on Logan, just for dinner…Dean should be back by then and Kate and I will still have the rest of the night." Sam winked, "Besides, you have to eat and I won't take no for an answer, so get cleaned up. You have twenty minutes."

Sam waited until Logan nodded and then went to shower.

* * *

Sam smiled when he found Kate had programmed her number into his phone. He called her and explained that Logan would be tagging along and she was gracious, as he knew she would be. When Kate suggested she bring Paige, Sam hesitantly agreed.

Kate and Paige were already seated when Sam and Logan arrived. They found them near the fireplace, and Kate stood as Sam reached the table. He kissed her softly and then turned to Logan to make the introductions.

"Kate, Paige, this is Logan." The girls said their hellos and then Kate reached over and pulled Logan into a hug, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"I hope you're doing alright. Sam said you and Dean had an accident and you were pretty shook up." Kate pulled back and looked Logan over, "If you need to talk about it with another female, feel free to give me a call…I know what being the only girl in a man's world feels like. Sometimes you just need some estrogen."

Logan gave Kate the first genuine smile Sam had seen on her face since yesterday, "Thanks, I might take you up on that sometime."

Everyone sat; Sam across from Kate and next to Logan with Paige beside Kate. The girls had already ordered a bottle of wine and Paige poured while she and Kate chatted about their day, and asked Sam and Logan about theirs. Sam was surprised that Paige was actually pretty cool when she wasn't drunk and hitting on him. She had a good sense of humor and was quick witted, even Logan seemed to enjoy talking with her.

They ordered and when the food arrived the conversation slowed, but continued. Kate ooh-ed over her salmon while Paige pushed her salad around her plate. Sam and Logan both enjoyed their steaks and when they finished Kate suggested the double chocolate cheesecake for dessert, which the girls ordered.

Sam sipped coffee and watched Kate eat her cheesecake, never realizing how sensual it could be to watch a person eat. Each bite was tasted and savored. Nothing was rushed and he watched the pleasure on her face. She caught him watching and blushed.

She looked at him over the frame of her glasses, raised her eyebrows and smiled, "Want a bite? It's my grandmother's recipe, and it's the best you'll ever have." She gave him a wink.

Sam's mouth was suddenly dry but he leaned forward and opened his mouth waiting. Kate moved the fork to his lips and paused, barely brushing Sam's bottom lip with the fork, "Be sure to take your time and enjoy it. The layers of flavor that come alive as it melts on your tongue make it special." Sam moved his head forward and Kate pulled the fork away teasingly, "Patience, Sam…" Kate told him with another wink.

Sam's hand captured hers and he pulled the fork to his mouth. "Over-rated." He rejoined quietly and placed the fork in his mouth as his fingers played softly over Kate's wrist making her gasp.

Sam sat back, savoring both the cheesecake and the flush rising on Kate's face. He swallowed and nodded seriously, "Definitely the best I've ever had."

Logan cleared her throat, "Um, yeah, can we say awkward?" which made Paige and Kate both giggle. Sam turned and glared at her and she shrugged, "Hey, I just call it as I see it and I'm thinking it's time for me and my new friend Paige to leave." Logan glanced over at Paige, "How 'bout it, wanna get a couple of drinks…or better yet convince someone else to buy them for us?"

Paige smiled and nodded, "Sure, sounds like fun." She grabbed her purse and started pulling out bills for the check as Logan headed toward the bar.

Sam raised his hand and shook his head, "No, I've got it."

Paige stopped for a second, "You sure? I don't mind."

Sam nodded, "Go enjoy yourselves," he gestured to Logan, "Just do me a favor and make sure she makes it back to the cabin, okay?"

Paige nodded, and moving to his chair, she bent and kissed his cheek. "Thanks. You're good for my Katie, a real sweetheart. Never mind what they say about you." She stood and headed off after Logan.

Sam stared after quizzically, "What the hell do _they_ say about me?"

Kate giggled, moved her dessert plate aside, and resting her elbows on the table she picked up her coffee and sipped at it. Lowering her mug she smiled, "It's a lie anyway."

Sam gave her an indignant look, "I've only been here two days now, what can people possibly have to lie about?"

Kate's chuckle was full-throated and sexy, "Well, honestly I didn't bother correcting the rumor, entirely for selfish reasons."

Her smile was infectious and Sam found himself smiling back, "Selfish reasons huh? What reason would that be?"

Kate's hand found Sam's and she drew little circles on the back of his hand with her fingertips and sipped her coffee, catching his eye over the rim of her cup. She lowered her cup, placing it back on the table and cocked her head, "Hmm, I didn't want to have to fight off the competition."

Sam drew his eyebrows together thoughtfully, "So, this evil, little lie about me keeps the competition at bay. So am I a big jerk? If so they're confusing me with Dean."

Kate laughed again and shook her head, "No, it has absolutely nothing to do with you being a jerk…that I can promise you."

Sam flipped his hand over, and lifted Kate's, intertwining their fingers. "Really, well are you planning on telling me or to I have to force it out of you?" Sam's eyebrow rose in challenge.

Kate shook her head, "No, no force involved, but are you really sure you want to know? It could damage your ego." She nodded sagely.

Sam laughed, "Oh, it's that kind of rumor. You can tell me, let me in on this little secret about myself."

Kate nodded, "Alright, but I tried to warn you. It seems you have earned the nickname, Seven Second Sam, and a little motto to go with it: Thinks he can go all night, but he never gets it right." Kate barely got it out without laughing and when she saw Sam's face she laughed so loud people at surrounding tables stared.

She pulled herself together and turned to the tables beside her with a, "Sorry, 'bout that," even as she continued to struggle not to laugh.

Sam's jaw dropped, but he couldn't help but smile since Kate was enjoying herself so much, even though it was at his expense…well sort of anyway. Feigning indignation, Sam asked, "Where exactly did this rumor start? I know for a fact that I haven't slept with anyone other than you since we've been here." Sam paused and with all seriousness he added, "So help me if it was my brother he's dead."

Kate was still giggling, much more quietly and she shook her head, "No, it wasn't your brother, but that would've been funny too. Though I think the funniest thing is that people are actually repeating it." She motioned toward the bar, "I guess that's what you get when rowdy college kids get a hold of something funny."

Sam stared at Kate in confusion and she took pity on him, "Remember last night when Logan whispered something to Paige?"

Realization dawned on Sam, "Oh, she's gonna get it…she doesn't know how the Winchester's play this game…she better watch her back now." Sam smiled, "I guess I should be a little thankful, I think she did it to get Paige to leave me alone."

Kate nodded, "Uh-ha, I'm sure she did it for entirely unselfish reasons…just like me." She laughed and winked at Sam.

"Hmm, I'm sure she did, and as for you, you better start defending my honor; Seven Second Sam my ass!" Sam said quietly leaning across the table to brush hair from Kate's face.

"Maybe I should just start a new rumor." Kate shuddered when Sam's hand breezed over her lips, "Mmm." She pressed her lips to his fingers, "Maybe something like Spectacular Sam: Goes all night, never fails to get it right." She raised an eyebrow.

Sam shook his head, "Not as catchy, but the motto's good."

Just then the waiter brought the bill, Sam handed him a credit card and when he left, Sam split the last of the wine between them. Kate raised her glass, mischief glittering in her eyes, "Here's to the best seven seconds of my life."

Kate's laugh had Sam smiling wide. Sam raised his glass, touching it to Kate's he added, "Here's to a repeat performance."

Kate leaned forward as she sipped her wine, "Oh, most definitely will I drink to that."

**_I'm not abandoning the darker aspects of this story, but Sam did have a date with Kate and we all know that he wouldn't stand her up :) Don't neglect the reviews...they remind me why I keep writing. _**

**_Special thanks to Mialovely for reminding of a few things...thanks again!_**


	28. Break Me in Pieces With Your Words

Logan and Paige sat at the bar. Paige was on her third appletini while Logan nursed her second beer, and as Logan had predicted neither of them had paid for any of their drinks. Logan smiled as she watched Paige flirt fearlessly with any, and all, halfway decent looking male within flirting distance, which basically meant anyone in the bar. She wasn't even bothering to notice whether they had a date with them or not. Logan received her fair share of looks and even offers for drinks, but according to Paige, she needed to stop staring the men down, in fact, Paige was again explaining how to get picked up.

"Seriously Logan, you're hot enough to get any guy in the place, but damn girl lighten up. You keep scaring off the shy and sober ones. Stop glaring, smile, touch your hair, look away, but don't look 'em up and down and turn your head like they disgust you." She gave an exasperated sigh, "Help me out here."

Logan shook her head, "You know, I've never had a hard time getting a date, or hell even just getting laid. I just prefer quality to quantity. If they can't handle the heat, they shouldn't play with fire. I like a little confidence on my man, some swagger, so if they aren't man enough to walk over to me, smile and trade a few insults then I guess I don't need them."

Paige laughed and turned to the guy on her left, she told him something and he shook his head, holding up his hands. Paige turned back to Logan, "Yep, he says he and all the other guys at his table eyed you first, but you're too scary and intimidating. So behave and play nice will you. Once they get over here you can turn them down and I can scoop them up, but we have to get them here…so come on be my wingman will ya?"

Logan sipped her beer and laughed. She opened her mouth to say something, but was startled into silence.

"Ladies, ladies…one at a time." She'd recognize that slow drawl anywhere.

Logan's head swung the direction of the pool tables where she caught a glimpse of Dean, just as he bent to pull a shot from some mostly naked girl's cleavage. Blood pounded in her ears and her breath caught as humiliation and anger boiled to the surface. She grit her teeth and moved to get a better view, just in time to see him grab a slice of lemon, and some tongue from another girl's mouth.

She moved closer, shoving cleavage girl out of line and taking her place. When Dean turned, expecting a face full of breast and booze he saw only a dark, low-cut t-shirt. Without lifting his slightly drunken head he murmured, "Come on sweetheart…you're in the wrong order." When he finally did raise his head, his smile fell and he had only one thing to say, "Shit."

Logan's hands were fisted at her sides, she felt anger and something else she wasn't willing to name, force a flush across her face. Her palm flew toward his face, but even drunk, his reaction time was fast. He caught her wrist before the slap landed and pulled it back to her side as he bent his head to hers.

"Let's not do this here, Logan." He said against her ear.

Jerking her hand from his she yelled at him, "Why not? Here seems to be good enough for you." One of the girls, who'd been hanging around, grabbed Logan's shoulder and turned her around.

"What the hell is your problem, we're having fun so either join in or fuck off." The skinny little blonde in the short denim skirt and no shirt, announced.

Logan shook her head, "Look, I don't want to fight with you. This is between him and me and trust me I've been kicked out of more bars for fighting than you'll probably ever see. So could we please skip this part and let me get right to the yelling at my boyfriend bit?"

Skinny blond chick snarled, "He told us he didn't have anyone…says he's just looking for a good time and from what I see honey," Blondie ran a dismissing eye up and down Logan's form, "you're interrupting his good time."

Logan's fist landed directly on Blondie's nose. Bloody chaos ensued as the kids in the bar descended from all directions. Logan dodged a couple of fists, got hit by seven or eight punches and managed to land at least twice that number as she found herself being pulled out of the bar by her collar. What she didn't see was Dean snarling and punching anything coming toward her that he thought she couldn't handle.

The cold air shocked her and she turned to see it was Dean's hand dragging her. She dug her feet into the snow and he finally slowed and let her go.

He faced her, his cheek blossoming into what, by morning would be, a reddish-purple bruise, "What the hell do you think you're doing?" He fingered his cheek and took a few seconds to open and close his jaw before spitting blood into the snow. Then he just glared.

Logan wiped at her bloodied nose and fingered her swollen lip, tasting blood; she used her tongue to check for loose teeth before answering. "Me? I was just having a couple of drinks."

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose with the thumb and forefinger of his right hand, whose knuckles were once again bleeding, "Fuck Logan, that's all I was doing."

Logan moved toward him and pressed a finger against his chest, "Yeah, having a couple drinks always involves burying your face between some skanky barfly's breasts and then trading spit with another. Funny, I wasn't doing that."

Dean sighed, he hadn't planned for Logan to find him in the bar, trying to drink himself into oblivion, hoping he could forget for a while who he was, how screwed things were and what his future held. He envisioned his night entirely different, like getting drunk, maybe drunk enough to forget just enough that he could get laid by some faceless, nameless girl who didn't turn him inside out, before finally stumbling back to the cabin and falling straight to sleep…that was what he'd envisioned; total avoidance.

Dean shook out his left hand, wincing as he noticed a piece of dark glass embedded near the base of his thumb. His hand throbbed and he hoped the prick who had thrown the bottle at Logan's head was still somewhere on the floor. He knew he'd landed the punch square on the asshole's temple, but didn't pause long enough to see if the guy stayed down. He yanked the glass from his hand and cursed, because it hurt like hell.

Logan had been in the midst of something about Dean being a piece of shit asshole, but the shots were catching up with him and his alcohol-slowed mind wasn't really keeping up so well, so it wasn't until she was silent that Dean noticed anything.

Logan's gentle probing of his hand made him gasp, "Fuck, that hurts."

She frowned at him, "Stop being a baby and here, you're bleeding all over the damn place." She said pressing something against the bloody cut, before wiping at her, still oozing, nose.

Dean stared drunkenly down at her, confusion in his eyes and when she looked up at him he frowned, "Why aren't you still yellin'? I figured you'd be pissed at me for at least a couple of days."

"I am still pissed, because you're an asshole, but that doesn't mean I don't care that you're bleeding. And don't think for a minute I didn't see that bottle flying at me." Logan snorted, "Idiot, you know you can duck those things right? It's not necessary to risk hurting yourself to avoid getting hurt."

Dean took in her swollen, bloodied lip and the blood drying beneath her nose and cocked an eyebrow, "You look a little worse for wear yourself. Between last night," he gave her a wink, "this morning and now you look like you went nine rounds with a gorilla." Dean giggled, drunkenly before remembering he was alpha male and that alpha males don't giggle.

Logan felt the burning in her eyes as tears of hurt and frustration began to pool, but she refused to cry again. Refused to cry in front of Dean who seemed to insist on playing with her like she were a rugby ball. When the field was clear he carried her around gently, protectively, but when the pressure was too high he felt no remorse tossing her away and letting Sam take the heat. Then maybe, just maybe he'd feel like going back after her in a scum, but hell then again, maybe he'd just wait and see where she ended up.

Dean watched her take a deep breath, watched her struggle with her emotions. Even drunk, though not as drunk as he was pretending to be, and as dense as he was, he knew he'd hurt her. He almost hated himself for it, but he was positive he knew what he was doing. He didn't want to hurt Logan anymore than he had to, but there was no future…nothing but pain and sorrow and it was bad enough that Sam had to deal with it, why should someone else. Hell, he'd really only agreed to help train Logan because, once he was gone, Sam would be alone, and that, Dean found unbearable. If Logan became part of the team, Sammy wouldn't be alone.

Logan pulled herself together and looked Dean straight in the eye, nodding she took a deep breath, "Just stay away from me for awhile. Figure out what the hell you want and when you know, let me in on it. Until then, just stay away."

She turned in the direction of the cabin, but stopped when she heard Dean's words, "I know exactly what I want."

Logan turned, a trill of hope tingling her skin. She put her hands on her hips, "Yeah, and what exactly is that?"

Dean closed the gap between them and smiled down at her, "Another drink."

He turned and headed back to the bar. He missed Logan flipping him off, as well as the strangled sob as tears poured down her face. He ground his teeth, against the sudden guilt pressing against his chest and crushed his hands into fists. He glanced down at his left hand, noticing for the first time what Logan used to stop his hand from bleeding and he couldn't help but laugh as he stared at the Stayfree panty liner pressed into his palm.

Logan heard Dean's bark of laugher and she steeled her heart against the tearing pain. Another peal of laugher had her finally giving in, she sank to her knees in the snow and cried into the cold, dark night.

**_Nothing like changing gears really fast...hope you guys agree. Reviews, as always are appreciated, oh hell, if you want to keep me updating this fast they are required ;) Thanks again to everyone who does review!_**


	29. Campfire Stories

Sam held the door for Kate and she grabbed his hand as she walked past, pulling him with her into the cold. Sam smiled and draped an arm over her shoulder, snuggling her against his side as Kate's arm fell around his waist. She gave him a wicked smile and headed in the direction opposite her apartment stopping by the door of a small building before reaching along the doorframe, to find a key. Smiling she opened the door and pulled Sam in behind her.

Sam was intrigued and his eyebrow rose as Kate giggled and pulled him against her. "Should we be here?" Sam asked hesitantly, looking around the small space that was essentially the bottom of a staircase.

"Come on; remember you're as corrupt as they come. What's a little trespassing?" Kate started up the stairs only to pause a couple of steps above Sam to lean in and kiss him. She teased his lips open with her tongue and when she tried to pull back, Sam caught the back of her head and leaned forward deepening the kiss. Kate's hands gripped Sam's jacket and she moaned when he shifted to press a knee between her legs as his free hand unzipped her coat and slid against her breast. Kate whimpered and Sam smiled against her lips, teasing her lips with his teeth gently.

Sam played her nipple through the material of her blouse, enjoying how it hardened when he rolled it between his fingers before he gently tilted Kate's head to the side and trailed his lips down her neck. His hands drifted down her shoulders and lower working to undo the buttons of her blouse.

Kate buried her hands in Sam's hair and her head fell back as she felt his mouth move down the column of her throat, his tongue teasing her collarbone for seconds, before traveling lower. Sam suddenly lifted his head, his fingers tracing patterns along the tops of her breasts and he waited for her eyes to open before smiling.

Her voice was heavy and husky and moved against Sam, "Don't stop there."

Sam shifted his knee, making Kate gasp before pulling back, as much as he could in the small stairwell. He removed his hands and pulled her blouse together as he shook his head, "Not here."

"But…" Kate pouted as Sam interrupted.

"It's too small, too uncomfortable and too cold. I assume you brought me for something other than the staircase?" Sam's eyebrow arched and Kate sighed nodding.

She smiled again and took his hand, pulling him up the stairs behind her. The stairwell turned at a ninety-degree angle every twelve steps and they continued to climb. Kate's pace was tireless and after more steps than Sam felt there could possibly be, they reached the top, both pausing to catch their breath. They stood in a small room, windows lined each wall, giving a panoramic view of the mountains and even though it was dark, it was beautiful.

Sam smiled, "A lookout tower?"

Kate nodded, "We use it as a base camp of sorts when we run drills. You can pretty much see any trail on the mountain from here." She pulled Sam toward the center of the room where a couch and a couple of chairs sat on an old battered rug. There was also a bunk bed in one corner and a small kitchenette of sorts in another. A curtained area held what Sam figured was whatever kind of toilet facility the building might have.

The room was cold, but not overly so and he watched as Kate went to the wood burning stove and expertly started a fire. She smiled over her shoulder as she pushed the grate closed and shyly added, "It's also supposed to be haunted."

"Really? Haunted, huh." Sam looked around, "Who would be haunting this place?" It really didn't seem to a place a spirit would be trapped, nothing personal, never would have been a home. Kate pulled Sam over to the couch and waited for him to sit. When he was comfortable, she settled herself between his legs, with her back to his chest. Instinctively, he wrapped his arms around her and she sighed. Leaning her head back against his chest, she smiled up at him as she spoke softly.

"Well, that's the thing people don't agree on. There are two camps on the haunted watchtower. The first is that she, supposedly it's a girl, is the murdered daughter of the first man to live in the area. His wife died when the girl was born and well, being a wealthy man he indulged her. When she asked him to build her a special barn for her horses he agreed and sent for the best architect and carpenters he could afford. One of these carpenters took a liking to the girl, which pleased her father because this man didn't complain when the girl interrupted his work with silly questions or just to watch him work. This carpenter told the girl's father that she reminded him of his own daughter, who would have been about the same age had the flu not taken her life. Mmm, that's nice," Kate interrupted her story as Sam's fingers softly massaged the muscles of her neck and shoulders. "Where was I?"

Sam dropped his lips to her ear and teased it with his tongue, before whispering, "The carpenter's daughter and the flu…" Sam bit down gently on the curve of Kate's ear and she squirmed against him.

"Oh…yeah," Kate's breath hissed as his fingers continued to massage and gently caress the skin at the sensitive nape of her neck. "…anyway, the barn was almost complete when tragedy struck. Of course, the nice carpenter wasn't as nice as the girl thought he was. They found her broken body in the barn. In the stall that was supposed to be for her favorite horse. Her father had the barn torn down; the nails were melted down and turned into the ornate cross that still marks her grave. The wood ended up in storage. Years later when they were looking to build this tower they found that wood and used it for the floor and some of it for the stairway."

Sam had pushed Kate's shirt off her shoulders and his teasing fingers were now tracing runes of protection across the tops of her breasts and down her arms. He shifted a hand beneath her, managing with little difficulty, to unclasp her bra. Her throaty chuckle made him smile and she sat up to help him remove her shirt and bra. When she moved to lean back against him, he shook his head and stood.

"Lie down," when she started to lean backward Sam kissed her, but shook his head, "On your stomach." When she was on her stomach, head resting on her folded arms and watching him he opened the buttons of his shirt, dropped it to the floor and then pulled his t-shirt over his head. Then he knelt, gathered Kate's hair and lifted it to place a kiss between her shoulder blades before he started tracing figures on her back. "Now, finish your story." He whispered against her ear.

"Sam," Kate's breath caught as the fingers of one hand teased just under the waistband of her jeans, while the other caressed her shoulder to shoulder, "I can barely…mmm…think straight."

Sam's hands stopped, "Maybe I should stop then, because I really want to hear your stories." Pressing with a firm, but gentle pressure he moved his fingers up her spine.

"No, I'll keep going…damn your hands are magic." Kate sighed when Sam continued.

"Anyway, they never found the carpenter, it was like he disappeared. Now they say that every year on the girl's birthday, which is November first, she shows up on the mountain looking for her horses."

Sam's fingers found the sides of Kate's breasts and his fingers drew aimless circles up and down her sides. "She just shows up, nothing else happens?" Sam asked, watching Kate's skin flush and enjoying the play of the firelight over her skin.

"Nope, people just see her. Now if you believe the other story," Kate paused as Sam gently stretched out the arm closest to him and continued his massage, "Thorough, Sam you are thorough." Kate chuckled and then added a moan when he found a particularly sensitive spot by her wrist.

"So go on, tell me about the next possible suspect." Sam bent and kissed Kate's fingers.

"Fine, well seems in the sixties there was a young family who came up to ski. They had a girl named Ella, probably about ten. She wasn't particularly fond of skiing so she spent most of her time at the lodge and poking around the grounds. One day she just disappeared. At first, they figured she just wandered off, but when she didn't show up by dark, people started looking for her. Back then there was no organized rescue teams, it was completely voluntary and by the time someone suggested they use the tower to help organize the teams it was too late."

Kate paused and sitting up on her elbows she frowned up at Sam, "I really don't like this story, Sam…I'm not really superstitious or anything, but this one always makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up."

Sam frowned back at Kate, feeling something funny was never good, "I'll keep you safe, you don't have anything to worry about." Yeah, except some vengeful spirit…

Kate sat up, facing Sam, and she shivered, wrapping her arms around herself and looking around the room, "Okay, so they come up the stairs and right there," Kate pointed to a spot close to the staircase, "They find her. She's lying in a circle, drawn with her blood and…" Kate moved close to Sam as he pulled her into his arms, "they could tell she'd been raped, and it wasn't pretty and the sick, pervert who did it had drawn bloody things all over her body and the floor." Kate shuddered, "They say that she was alive for the whole thing, right up until he strangled her with her own hair scarf. They say if you see her, or the scarf you end up dying in some strange accident. I know its all campfire stories, but I really don't like that one."

Sam stood, picking up his shirt and pulling it over his head as he did, "Get dressed Kate, we need to go."

Kate began moving, she shoved her bra into her coat pocket and began buttoning up her blouse, "Sam, I didn't mean to scare you and I'm all for leaving since I kinda freaked myself out and all, but what's up?"

Sam grabbed Kate's shoulders and propelled her out the door and down the steps, "Does this ghost show up all the time, or just on a certain date?"

Kate shook her head, "The story says it's always opening weekend, but that does change from year to year."

Sam frowned, not good, not good, "That means that today started opening weekend," Sam ran a hand through his hair, grabbing a handful and yanking it as he thought. He pulled his phone from his pocket, only pausing their decent to dial Dean's number, before moving down the steps two at a time; after three rings it went to voicemail and he cursed, "Shit, he's so much like Dad it isn't funny."

He ended the call and dialed Logan. She answered on the second ring, her voice raw, "Yeah, I'm fine Sam…"

Sam frowned, "Logan, where are you?"

"Watching TV, where the fuck are you?" came Logan's exasperated reply.

"Logan, listen I'm coming your way, load the shotgun with salt rounds and stay away from that damn scarf. You hear me." Shit, he sounded like his father.

"Sam, you okay? What's going on?" Logan sounded sharper than she had at first and he could hear she was already moving, in fact he heard the distinctive sound of the shotgun chamber opening and closing, just before she said, "Done. Hey, Dean's getting himself drunk at the bar, so if you think we're going to need him you might want to round him up."

"Thanks, I'll do that and Logan be careful. There's something…" Sam's phone went dead just as they made it out the door, "Shit."

Sam looked over at Kate, "Stay close to me…I promise I'll explain later, but now we need to move."

Kate nodded and Sam was thankful she was a runner, because he sprinted full out back to the bar, Kate just behind him. He scanned the bar quickly, finding his brother chatting up some girl and he thought about beating the shit out of him when he saw Dean's hand skirt up the girl's thigh, but instead he grit his teeth and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Sammy! Hey and the hottie from this morning, have drink with me and…" Dean swung around and arched an eyebrow at the girl beside him, who supplied her name, "…Heather, me and Heather."

"Dean we have a problem." Sam said, glaring at his brother.

Dean took a sip of his beer and his smile slid a bit as he leaned into his brother and asked quietly, "A problem as in you're here to yell at me for what I did earlier or a Halloween-type problem?"

"The Halloween kind." Sam answered quickly, if a little confused.

Dean turned to the girl and gave her his best smile, the one reserved for graceful exits and removing panties. "Sorry sweetheart, gonna have to give you a rain check. Seems duty calls." He winked at her and she leaned in to kiss him. He watched Sam frown at him and he held his hands up in that, not my fault pose of his, then he ended the kiss. "I'll call you." Dean said holding up the napkin that must have held her number and then he was moving, no sign of being the least bit drunk.

"What's going on Sam?" He asked once they reached the quiet of the outside.

Sam filled him in, with a little help from Kate and he nodded, "I need to stop at the car for a few things," Dean motioned toward the parking lot, "You two go make sure Logan's alright and Sam we don't know what this thing wants so be careful."

Sam nodded and started moving toward the cabin, the ringing of Dean's phone stopping him. He and Kate turned as Dean answered it, "Logan…shit…Logan!?" Dean screamed into the phone. When he didn't get an answer, the phone was suddenly buried in the snow and Dean was racing toward the cabin at full speed, leaving Sam and Kate to follow.

**_That was fun wasn't it? Well, more to come, but you know me and the cliffies...just want to make sure you guys come back for more. _**

**_SciFiRN is not here just now, please leave your review after the beep. Thank you and have a great day!...BEEP_**


	30. From the Grave, Much Graver

**_Shh, don't tell - I'm posting this on my break at work (alas I need a paycheck), so you guys have something to read...heck I may even do it again later ;)_**

The door crashed inward, banging loudly against the wall followed by Dean's voice loudly and frantically screaming her name.

"Logaann! Logan!!" Dean's eyes scanned the room as he dropped to a crouch and pulled a knife from his boot. Holding the blade in his right hand with his left near his chest, he crept into the cabin.

"Sam, you coming any time soon man?" He yelled, moving forward slowly.

Sam heard his brother, but the sudden pain in his head dropped him to a knee at the bottom of the outside steps. He pressed the heel of his hand against his left eye and focused on breathing. A flash of blue, then blood. The pain intensified and he groaned, but managed to push himself through it, straining for something more. He felt Kate's hand on his shoulder and gripped it as the next flare of pain slammed into the back of his skull. He panted. Death dressed as a child. Pain exploded through his head and down his arm and his head shot back. He heard his teeth grinding and he heard Kate keening his name and then he saw. He saw things from forty years ago flash across the inside of his eyelids, nightmares in fast forward, he felt the pain and he knew.

The pain was suddenly gone and Sam crumbled to the ground, gasping for breath. He managed to give Kate a weak smile, noticing the terror in her eyes, but that didn't stop her from trying to pull him upright. With her help, he stood and together they made their way up the stairs.

"SAM!!" Dean was impatient now, angry.

"I'm…" Sam's voice cracked and he cleared his throat, "I'm here. You see her?" Sam asked making it inside the door and when Dean shook his head, he turned to Kate quietly, "Behind me…always behind me." He waited until she gave him a nervous nod and when he felt the fingers of one hand curl around a belt loop he moved forward, still a bit unsteady.

The sawed-off lay on the floor near the far end of the kitchen counter and Sam bent cautiously to pick it up. He checked the chamber, "Loaded, but where the hell is she?"

Dean shot a glance at his brother, "Wouldn't be creeping around if we knew that, would we Sammy?" Noticing his brother's expression he asked, "You okay?" When Sam gave him a curt nod, he eyed the weapon and shook his head, "She's partial to the pistol grip Sam, so maybe she just loaded 'em both up?"

"Yeah, maybe…if it weren't in the Impala." Sam shot back, remembering the argument when they arrived. Logan wanting to bring in the old pistol grip, and Dean overruling her with something about the sawed-off being easier to conceal.

Dean winced, probably remembering the same thing, "Oh, right…Logan, answer me dammit!" Dean hollered, moving down the hall as he pointed to the loft, indicating Sam should check it out.

Sam moved quickly to the open stairs that led to the loft, turning he told Kate to stay at the bottom and he cautiously climbed the steps, only to find it empty. He'd just made it back down when Dean yelled his name from the bedroom.

"Sammy, yo' need you, like now, man."

Adrenaline kicking in, Sam grabbed Kate's hand and hauled her down the hallway and into Logan's room. He stopped, just shy of running into his brother's back and stared, at the same thing he brother was staring at.

Kate gasped, "My god…what the…Sam, that, this…I mean. Shit."

"My thoughts exactly." Dean replied without turning.

Logan sat in the middle of the bed, eyes glazed while she rocked back and forth. Her mouth was moving, but she was speaking so quietly they couldn't make out the words. She stared back at the three of them unblinkingly. Seeing blood Dean searched for its site of origin and then gave an involuntary shiver when he took in the wound on her left side. It looked as if something had gouged a hunk of flesh from Logan's side and he swore he saw a flash of white where a rib would be.

Two feet from the left side of the bed stood a horrible looking creature that Sam knew, was once an innocent little girl. The thing appeared to struggling against some unseen force, and with the exception of the snarling that occasionally came from its mouth, it wasn't moving much. The scarf Logan had found was wrapped securely around its neck and shredded bits of bloody flesh hung from its claw like nails and dagger sharp teeth.

The thing flicked it's blackened eyes at Dean and hissed, "Release me, you fools…release me."

"Stow it fugly." Dean spat back, as Sam aimed the shotgun directly at the thing.

Kate shivered and pressed into Sam's back and she started to recite the Lord's Prayer quietly to herself, which seemed to increase the creature's agitation.

Dean looked back at Sam, confusion clearly on his face, "What the, fuck is going on?"

Sam handed the shotgun to his brother as he moved toward the bed. Dean lifted the shotgun, thinking he should just shoot the ugly thing, then placed a hand on Sam's shoulder, "Dude, you sure that's safe?"

Sam shook his head, "I think it's fine, I need to hear what she's saying." He took another couple of steps forward, his eyes on the creature who was now hissing even louder, and he bent his head close to Logan's mouth.

It took Sam only a few seconds to make out her words, "It's Latin: 'Terra, vente, ignis et pluvia. Cuncta quattuor numina, vos obsecro. Defendete nos a recente malo resoluto. Omnia...veritatis.' The same thing in a loop."

Dean snorted, "Yeah, great Einstein, all I got was the name of an R&B group translated into Latin." Dean turned to look at Kate who was now staring wide-eyed, "You understand Latin?" When she shook her head he gestured at Kate and added, "Now once more, with English, professor."

Sam returned to stand by Kate, but kept his eyes on Logan and the Ella-thing. "Literally it's: 'Earth, wind, fire and rain. Linger four gods, we implore you. Defend us, immediately after I will release you. All things...of truth!' It's a pagan spell used to bind demons and devils. It predates Christianity by hundreds of years and it seems to be working."

The weapon still on it's target, Dean's stare swung from the bed to Sam to the Ella-thing and back to Logan, "Um, great, but you said it binds demons. Isn't she," Dean shoved the gun in the direction of the snarling, obviously bound, child-thing, "supposed to be a ghost?"

Sam nodded, "She is, but the ghost is possessed?"

"Whoa. That ain't possible. Meat-puppet dead, demon flees, that's the way it works." Dean sputtered, then looked to the ceiling he yelled, "Come on, you can't go changin' the rules midway through the game."

Logan's voice rose in volume, her words, now, clearly heard by everyone in the room. The ghost/demon, previously know as Ella, snarled louder and hissed, "Let me go…bitch…I'm going to kill all of you."

Dean spun and took a step closer to the ghost, "Seriously, if you are Casper the Demon Possessed Ghost, I'm gonna salt and burn you into oblivion right now if you don't shut up."

Sam turned to face his brother and pushed his hair from his eyes, "Look, I had a vision on my way in here. Saw it plain as day; well kinda, more like murky as twilight, but the fact is the sonovabitch that killed Ella used some old magic to bind a demon to her ghost. He was actually trying to create that thing." Sam pointed over his shoulder at the still snarling creature. "A murderous, vengeful spirit with the power of a demon. I have no clue why, but we need to take care of both. Exorcise the demon and stop the ghost."

Dean rolled his eyes and then looked to Kate, "You know where Ella was buried?"

Kate shook her head. "All I know is they weren't from Colorado."

"Shit. Got any other ideas?" Dean asked his brother.

Sam nodded, "Yeah, but no one's going to like it."

When Sam didn't spill fast enough, Dean gave him an exasperated sigh and slapped his brother on the back of the head, "Care to share?"

"Ouch." Sam rubbed the back of his head, "We let her go."

"What? You can't be serious. She's on the warpath and the only thing holding her back right now is Logan's chanting," Dean turned and glared, "which by the way, could stand to be broadcast at a lower volume." Dean's voice rose to cover Logan's chanting, which had once again gotten louder, this time considerably so.

"We'll have the scarf. We know where she was killed and I think that will work." Sam looked hopefully at his brother.

Dean shook his head, "Didn't work so well in jail, Sammy."

This comment earned a gasp from Kate. Sam gave her a smile and shook his head, "Long story…we were helping out a friend." Sam said hoping it was enough, then to Dean, "Yeah, but that's because we were trying to get rid of the wrong ghost."

Dean sighed and grasped the back of his neck with one hand while his other leveled the gun at the somewhat quieter Ella-thing, "Fine. So how do we let her go?"

Sam glanced at Logan and shrugged, "First," he stalked over to Ella-thing and after covering his hand with his sleeve, he pulled the scarf from her throat, careful to avoid her gnashing teeth, then after pushing the scarf securely into his pocket, he finally answered his brother, "We could try asking."

Dean dropped his hands to his side, handed Sam the sawed-off and moved toward Logan. Standing near the bed he called her name, "Logan, hey. Sam has a plan, but you gotta' let the bitch go. How 'bout it. Wanna' drop the Earth, Wind and Fire routine...never did like their music anyway, sweetheart."

For the first time since they entered the room, Logan responded. She stopped rocking, her eyes drifted shut, the chanting stopped and she slumped into the bed. The ghost, now released, tore toward Dean as he bent to check on Logan. The sudden explosion from the shotgun had him diving on Logan and rolling with her to the floor on the opposite side of the bed.

The rock salt drove the ghost back and she disappeared. Sam stood; his eyes scanning the room looking for any sign of her return. His ears were ringing and Kate was pressed against his side with her hands pressed over her ears. Her eyes were wide, but otherwise she appeared just fine.

A muffled noise came from the floor beside the bed and as Dean stood the noise became actual words, ground out painfully between coarse panting, "Get…Off…Me…Now."

Dean reached down to help her up, but she pulled herself up without his assistance only to stumble and almost hit the ground before he caught her.

"Easy there, you're hurt pretty bad." Dean sat Logan on the bed and bent to pull a piece of ruined t-shirt from the gruesome wound on her side. He swallowed, surprised as bile threatened to rise in his throat. "Shit. Logan, there's not even enough to sew back together."

Logan's head lolled onto Dean's shoulder, and she must of have had the same feelings because she looked up at him, "Dean…I'm…bathroom…please…" Dean was already moving. He managed to get her to the sink, where she gagged twice, before insisting on the toilet. He'd barely lifted the lid when the vomiting began. He held her up, pulling the hair away from her face and when she finally hung limp he leaned her against the sink in the circle of his arms and cleaned her up.

With Sam's help, he managed to get her back into the bed. Dean settled Kate on her right side and then moved to stand, but she failed to relax her grip on his shirt. He looked down at her and when he saw the look in her eyes, he sighed and sat down near her head. Logan moved closer. For the first time he noticed that, the bloodied sheets were gone, and clean ones now graced the bed. He turned to Kate, "Thanks." Kate smiled and shook her head, and then she moved in to look at the wound.

"She probably should go to a hospital, but I assume you guys want to avoid that." When the both men nodded, she sighed and moved into the bathroom. When she came out, she was carrying several steaming washcloths and a dry towel. Gently she cleaned around the bite, or maybe it was a claw mark since it did look similar to bear maulings she'd handled before, either way it was plain ugly.

Logan was biting her lip, her face pressed against Dean's side in an effort to keep from crying out. Any time Kate got too close to the wound a deep moan filled the room and Logan's body would shake uncontrollably. Dean shifted his position, leaning over her a bit he managed to slide an arm under her and pull her still against his side. A yellowish discoloration decorated the edges of the wound and as Kate continued her gentle cleaning, she noticed it on the washcloths. She also noticed the odor and she wrinkled her nose.

Sam appeared at her elbow with a medium sized box, which he set down beside Kate. "Sulfur, comes with the demons." He said, noticing her face. "This is our box of first aid supplies. We just restocked, so I'm pretty sure you'll find anything you might need."

Sam turned to Dean, "Checked all the entrances, relined them with salt and put the scarf in a safe place." He paused and dug two amulets from his pocket. He tossed one to his brother, who caught it easily and without a second thought, fastened it around Logan's throat. Sam then moved to stand behind Kate with the other.

Kate glanced up at Sam, her question in her eyes. "It protects the wearer from possession and since it went for Dean's tat this morning, I'm pretty sure that's what it's after." Kate eyed him warily, but lifted her hair and bent her head so he could secure it around her neck.

Dean watched, as Kate then began sorting through the box and his eyebrow rose, "Sam, um don't you think we should look after her?"

Sam shrugged, "She's a flight medic, Dean. She's probably at least as good as we are. Hell, at least she's actually had training. We had a Marine field manual and then each other and Dad to practice on."

Kate's eyebrows shot up and she began to wonder what else she didn't know about Mr. Samuel Winchester and his merry band of, well...whatever they were.

"Good point, but I'll remind you, it has managed to keep us alive up til now." Dean brushed Logan's hair from her eyes with his free hand, and tucked it behind her ears, "How you holdin' up?"

Logan nodded against his chest, "Fucking hurts. Burns like someone's pouring battery acid under my skin every time I take a breath."

Kate pulled some things from the box, including, alcohol, betadine, suture, a sterile syringe and needle, local anesthetic, non-stick gauze pads, tape and a vial of penicillin. She sighed, looked up at Sam and motioned to the box, "Damn, you two have a couple of drugs even I can't get a hold of, well legally anyway."

Kate caught Logan's eye and gave her a reassuring smile, "Okay, here's the deal. I can close up some of it, but there is quite a bit of flesh that's, well just missing. It'll heal as long as you don't end up with an infection, but it's going to scar-up pretty ugly. You're damn lucky it's claws or teeth or what ever it used on you didn't puncture a lung."

Logan shivered and lifted her head from Dean's chest. She twisted slowly to take a good look at the wound. Overall, it was oval like in shape, about three inches across and five inches long. The worst of it was toward her back and it wrapped around at an upward angle just barely missing the bottom curve of her left breast. It looked to her like someone had taken a jagged serving spoon and gouged a piece out meat of her side.

Dean felt a shiver of something run through Logan's body and he pulled her a bit tighter against himself, "Hey," When she didn't respond he turned her face to his, "Look at me." After her eyes met his he continued, "You're strong as hell, and you're gonna do just fine. We've done this together before, right?"

Logan nodded; a single, fat tear slid down her cheek, the first one Dean had seen since they entered the room and found Logan half-catatonic on the bed. Dean didn't understand and his face broadcast his confusion.

Kate reached up and grabbed Logan's hand and Logan's eyes shifted to the other woman. Kate squeezed her hand reassuringly. She offered Logan a hesitant smile, "Logan, it's going to be okay. You know that after it heals, a good plastic surgeon can fix it, right?" Kate's smile widened and she winked at Logan, "Besides, scars make for great stories," she paused and looked around the room, "and this is one hell of a story."

Dean watched emotion flicker across Logan's face and she bit her lip nodding, "Guess, so." She looked shyly and hopefully up at Dean, who stared back with a deer-in-the-headlights look, hoping he wasn't going to be expected to say something. He nodded and looked to his brother for help. Sam was always better with the chic-flick moments.

Sam stood with his arms crossed, a black look on his face and shook his head, "Dean, we have another problem."

Shit, Dean knew where this was going. "Halloween kind, Sammy?"

Sam shook his head and pointed into the living room, "No, the other kind…Now."

**_Okay, so I just can't get away from limp Logan, but I'll keep trying. She's kinda like Sammy, just so easy to beat up on ;) Trust me I'll make you happy soon, and those of you still reading know I keep my promises, which also means that by now you know the routine. So, feed the muse, and make her happy, or you could bitch at her...that's what I usually do :D _**

**_-Thanks again to all my lovely reviewers!_**

**_PS: Anyone catch the BtVS shoutout??_**


	31. When the Bough Breaks

Dean sulked his way passed Sam, who closed the door behind them and followed Dean into the living area. Dean stood scowling at Sam from near the fireplace as Sam moved to stand in front of his brother.

Dean stood; arms crossed and pouted, "What's the problem, Sam?"

Sam wasted no time bringing his knee up between his brother's legs, a solid shot to the jewels and Dean was writhing on the rug by Sam's feet. Dean's, "unngghh" the only sound in the room as Sam glared at his brother, "That was for Logan," he spat out squatting by his brother's side.

Dean's eyes were watering and he was close to gagging. He tried to breathe, but it felt as if his balls had lodged in his throat. A minute or so later, Dean finally managed to catch his breath, and when he attempted to straighten his legs Sam's fist went careening toward his already bruised jaw.

The punch landed with about half the force it would have if they were on their feet, but Sam didn't care, "And that is payback for punching me earlier."

Sam stood, slumped onto the couch, and waited for his brother to compose himself. When Dean managed to push himself into a sitting position, Sam leaned forward, "What the hell do you think you are doing?"

Dean snorted and half moaned, "Right now, I'm trying to get up off this floor so I can kick your tall, skinny ass, bitch."

Sam smirked, "Whatever, jerk," and then flopped back into the couch.

Dean sat, and scooted himself back a foot until he could lean against the hearth. One knee bent up, he rested an elbow on it and cocked his head at his brother as he fingered his, now bloody lip. "Ya, know I get the punch…you owed me, but what the hell's up with the shot to the nads?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "You don't think you deserved it?"

Dean shook his head, but he knew, "Hell, no and what does Logan have to do with it?"

Sam leveled his gaze at his brother, frowned and leaned forward. Dean recognized it as Sam's, I-mean-business look, which was never good. Then Sam coupled it with his listen-here-young-man, finger pointing and Dean felt like he was fourteen again and Dad had just found out that his "full" Jack Daniels bottle was light on the Jack.

"You," Sam emphasized the 'you' with his finger, "are probably one of the densest, most ungrateful, heartless men in the world."

Dean laughed, yeah; push the bravado, "You write that in your diary Bridget?" He laughed again, stalling, "What the hell are you talking about?"

Sam moved toward his brother, grabbed his shirt with both hands and hauled him to his feet. He shook his brother by the shoulders, but he would have preferred to pound him into pulp on the floor.

"Look, you can't go treating Logan like one of your nameless, faceless one-nighters. You can't just sneak out in the morning and promise to call, knowing you'll be two hundred miles away by noon." Sam released his brother's shirt and watched the emotion flicker through his green eyes. "She's part of the team, man. She works with us, she has a name and she has a face and I'm sick and tired of watching that face go from hoping you'll finally get a clue to fighting tears just because you can't fucking deal."

Dean stared at his brother in confusion. He swiped a tired hand over his face and then into his hair, "Tell me what I'm supposed to do Sam? How the fuck am I supposed to deal?" Dean's voice rose with emotion, he took a step forward and shoved at his brother's shoulders. He shouted, "Come on Sammy, tell me. How do you do it when your number's coming up in a matter of months? Am I supposed to pretend that there might be a 'happily ever after'?"

Sam watched in amazement as the dam began to break and Dean's jumbled emotions started to overflow, pouring out one after the other. Dean shoved him again, and Sam let him, let him scream, "So, tell me! It's fucking bad enough I have to worry about you, how'll you'll be, who'll watch your back." Dean fought the tears, his teeth clenched together, "Now what? You want me to attached myself to someone else? Someone else who might love me…who I might…"

"NO!" Dean wiped angrily at his eyes with the palm of his hand, and shook his head, "I can't…I just can't do it Sam." Dean pointed toward the bedroom, "I made my choice, knew what I was doing…she just…she deserves someone who can be there for her, hold her at night, watch her back in a hunt. Laugh at her mistakes; she needs someone to have kids with. Shit, at least someone she has the potential to grow old with." Dean's voice was strained, his throat tight. "What she doesn't need is the agony of knowing I won't be there…the pain she'll feel when I'm gone."

He grabbed Sam's shirt in his fists, an echo of what Sam did a few minutes ago. His face a tortured mess of tension and pain, and Sam watched a tear fall, followed by another. Felt his own tears burning in his eyes. Dean shook him once and then pulled his brother into his arms. Sam felt like he was in a vice, Dean's hold was so strong and he returned the hug just as fiercely. Dean's voice pleaded and begged, "So please, god, Sam if you know tell me." Dean drew in a ragged breath as tears coursed down his face, "I don't know what to do Sammy. I don't want to leave you alone." Dean pulled even more desperately against Sam's shoulders, his fisted hands digging almost painfully into Sam's back, "I don't want to die and I don't want to go to hell…I'm so scared, Sam…so scared."

Sam's tears joined his brothers, clinging almost desperately to each other. Sam's words hoarse, "I don't want to lose you either, but Dean…" Sam pulled back to arms length, his hands on his brother's biceps, refusing to let go completely. Dean looked up, and Sam continued, "you have to remember, you're not dead yet. You're still alive, that means you have to live."

Dean pulled his hands up and wiped his face as he stepped back from Sam. He shook his head, "But…"

Sam interrupted him, "That's exactly the problem…you need to live what you have left without all _the buts_ and _it's not fairs_. I don't like the damn deal either and if I would have been consulted," Dean snorted making Sam's lip quirk up in a half-smile, "I would have told my older brother he was being a stupid jackass for even considering it." Sam moved away, putting space between them, needing space between them. "Look, I've never stopped looking for a way to get you out of the damn deal and there's still hope that there might be something out there. You have to remember, Logan's a big girl. She knows what's going on. I'm not saying she's the love of your life or anything, but if right now she makes you happy and she's okay with risking her feelings…then what the hell is the problem."

Sam watched his brother, saw his posture of defeat and his heart almost broke. It was much easier for Dean Winchester to fight. He'd lose everything, even his own life, fighting for someone he loved, or for something, he believed in, but right now, he was fighting himself. He was losing the battle, eventually you have to lose, and Dean's battle to be brave, to do it on his own…his battle to need no one but himself was coming to an end and even though he knew it, he didn't like it.

Dean sighed and sunk into the chair near the hearth. With both elbows on his knees, he rested his head in his hands. He was tired, his body ached and his heart was breaking. Sam wished he knew what to say to him, how to help him, but he didn't.

"Just talk to her Dean, stop pushing her away. It doesn't have to be complicated. Just tell her you're scared, it won't surprise her because I guarantee she is too." Sam gave his brother's shoulder a squeeze and then went to check on Kate and Logan; leaving his brother crying quietly in the firelight.

**_All kinds of angsty goodness for you, gentle readers...hope you enjoyed it, oh and you know there's more to come right? Of course, if you find something you liked or didn't like let me know...my muse lives for reviews ;)_**


	32. Down, But Not Out

**_Short, I know..._**

Kate turned when she heard the door and gave Sam a half-smile as she finished packing supplies back in the box Sam had brought in earlier. Logan lie curled on her side and she appeared to be asleep.

Sam approached the bed and Kate stood to face him. He pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head, "How she doing?" He asked against Kate's hair.

Sam felt her shrug, and she pulled back to look up at him, pushing her glasses back a bit, "I stitched up what I could and patched what I couldn't. Like I said, as long as it doesn't get infected it'll heal over. I gave her some penicillin, and a couple of Vicodin. She's pretty comfy now, but the pain will kick back in when the numbness wears off from the lidocaine."

Sam looked over at Logan, took in the bruises on her face and arms that he'd missed earlier, as well as the ones at her throat and the few he saw just above the waistband of the tight boxers she was wearing as pajamas. He sighed, he was tired, but that thing was still out there.

"She say much while we were gone?" Sam asked, turning back to Kate.

It was Kate's turn to sigh, "Not really too much. Explained the "accident" from this morning, and the bar fight earlier. She…"

Sam interrupted Kate by dropping his arms and turning toward the bed. "Bar fight?"

Kate nodded, "Yeah, the one she started because Dean was doing body shots with some, and I quote, 'stupid, skinny, little, slut, who couldn't keep her nose outa business that wasn't hers, or her damn tongue outa other people's mouths.' Guess now her nose is broken." Kate gave a small giggle, "Dean pulled her out of it and then basically blew her off." Kate looked over at Logan, her expression full of sympathy, "I'd like to kick your jerk of a brother in the balls for her."

Sam smiled at her and grabbed her hand pulling her against him, "Would I be your hero if I told you I already did?"

A sleepy, "You'd be mine," came from the bed, making Sam and Kate turn as Logan pushed herself upright with a wince. "Ouch, that hurts." She held her hand over the bandages on her left side and blushed when she remembered she was topless, before she shrugged, "You've seen it all before Sam, but could you hand me a clean shirt?" Logan pointed at her pack, sitting on the dresser.

Sam ignored Kate's eyebrow raise, retrieved a long sleeved Henley and held it up. When Logan nodded, he tossed it to her and she caught it with a small gasp when she extended her arm too far. Sam dropped his eyes to the floor as she pulled the shirt carefully over her head. When she was covered, she stood, waited for the sudden wave of dizziness to pass and then retrieved a pair of jeans from the floor and slid into them. Not bothering to button them, she sat on the edge of the bed and started pulling her socks on.

Sam stared at her incredulously, "Where the hell do you think you are going?"

Logan glanced up from the floor, where she was now tying her black, lace up Doc Marten boots, "Gee, Dad…First, I'm going to pee." She looked back to the floor to pull her other boot on, "Then I'm going to yell at your brother, then I suppose," Logan stood and moved toward the bathroom, "we have an ugly, killer bitch to track down."

Logan disappeared into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. Sam pushed against the door, "Logan, damn it you're hurt. You can't hunt right now."

Logan's, "Whatever," came, muffled from the other side of the door and when Sam heard the toilet flush he opened the door.

Logan was zipping her jeans, and she glared, "Seriously, Sam…boundaries." Then she smiled and turned to the sink to wash up.

Sam rolled his eyes and leaned against the doorframe, looking to Kate for help he said, "You tell her."

Kate nodded, "I already talked to her, she knows what I think, but she's a big girl and you know what? Something tells me that neither you nor Dean would sit out if you were hurt either…so why should she?"

Logan brushed by Sam and grabbed Kate's hand, "Thanks." She smiled at her.

Sam sighed in exasperation and moved across the room to stand in front of the door. He crossed his arms and pulled his face into a stern sneer, "Touching and all with the girl-power, but seriously. Logan, you're hurt and you need to rest. You could make it worse."

Logan was tired and she hurt, but she also knew that she was helping hunt this thing down. It hurt her and damn it she was going to hurt it back. "Let it go, Sam. I'm coming, besides I know the ritual binding spell and more just like it."

Sam glanced at her stubborn stance and the set of her jaw. He also saw the weariness and fear in her eyes. She was a fighter and as much as he disagreed with her, he respected her for it. He shook his head, "Stubborn to the point of stupidity." He smiled wistfully, "You're a lot like him, you know?"

Logan caught Sam's eyes and stared for a beat, letting emotion flow between them, "I'm a lot like you too, Sam. I won't give up on him."

"I know." Sam whispered as Logan walked past him and out into the living area.

**_This chapter brought to you by my reviewers...so if you want more soon, well tell me what you think._**


	33. Relationship 101: Texas Hold 'Em Style

Logan found Dean where Sam had left him, only now he had one leg thrown over the arm of the chair and his head was resting against the back. His eyes were closed and Logan nudged his foot with her boot.

"Leave me alone, Sammy." He grunted, and eyes still closed, dropped a hand over his face.

Logan ignored him and taking advantage of his position she sat on his lap. Dean's surprised hiss of pain made her smile and when he jerked his head up and almost slammed his nose into the side of her head, Logan giggled.

Dean's voice was tense as Logan wiggled her bottom against his hips, "Sam told you what he did, didn't he?"

"Yes and remind me to kiss him for it later." Logan said, sitting still, but making no effort to remove herself from his lap.

Dean dropped his leg and shifted into a regular sitting position then he gently turned Logan so that her injured side was against him and he could see her face. "I don't think so." He said softly, pushing her ponytail back over her shoulder.

Logan watched him, watched emotions flicker to the surface of those gorgeous green eyes of his. She watched him swallow as his fingers traced the bruises at her throat and up along her jaw. Noticed his tear reddened eyes and she waited. When his eyes met hers she whispered, "You don't think what…you shouldn't remind me or I shouldn't kiss him?"

Dean's head barely hitched forward and he watched as Logan wet her lips with her tongue before he answered, "Both…" He watched her swallow and he traced the movement with his thumb, "I'm not reminding you and," Dean's hand trailed gently up her neck to the back of her head, "you are not kissing him."

Dean used his hand to pull Logan's lips to his and he breathed her name just before he brushed his lips gently against hers. He didn't try to deepen the kiss, just a gentle caress, then his arms were around her, and he was holding her securely, but tenderly against his chest.

His voice was tight as he all but groaned, "I'm sorry," against her shoulder.

Logan's fingers found their way into his hair and she pulled sharply, pulling his eyes back to hers. She gave him a sad smile, noticing the wetness of his eyes and shook her head, "I know."

Dean swallowed a lump in his throat, "Logan, listen to me. I mean it, I am sorry. Sorry for what happened to you when you were fourteen, sorry for this morning, sorry for earlier in the bar and I'm sorry I wasn't here to protect you when that bitch came after you…hurting you." Dean ran a hand carefully up her left side, and watched as Logan bit her lip, closed her eyes and drew in a breath, "Sorry…" He added pulling his hand from her side.

Logan opened her eyes and smiled shaking her head, "You didn't hurt me."

Dean's look of confusion made Logan lean in and press a kiss to his cheek, where she spoke softly, "Just now…you didn't hurt me."

"Huh?...Ohhh."

"Yeah, Ohhh." Logan rolled her eyes and smiled again. "Look, now isn't the time for a serious heart to heart, but listen to me, Dean Winchester, and I don't like to repeat myself unless it's, 'yes, yes, yes, please, oh, god, yes,' so pay attention."

Dean's smile was wide and genuine and she felt her smile widen in response, "We're both gamblers, both know the odds; we both know the last hand is coming, we're down to our last fifty dollars and things are looking a little desperate."

Logan locked her eyes with his, "The turn didn't help and we both know that waiting on the river is the sign of a bad player, but there are two choices; fold and cash out, or go all in." Logan swallowed, "You should know, by now, that if I think the pot is worth it I'll go all in and take my chances on that final card." Logan paused, let her words sink in as she again watched emotion shift across Dean's face.

Dean's eyes didn't waver from hers, "But if the other side's holding the nut hand? What if that other hand is truely unbeatable?"

Logan shook her head, "Don't know that, though do I? Doesn't matter anyway, my hand sucks, a pair of twos will beat it, everything's riding on the river and like I said the pot is too sweet to walk away from." Logan turned his chin so his eyes were on her's again, "I'm all in, Dean."

He pulled back a bit, looked away over Logan's shoulder before Dean's desperate eyes swung back to hers, "Logan…what if you lose?"

She gave him a sad smile, wiped at the tears gathering in her eyes and shook her head. "You know we rarely win…especially the sweetest pots, so if I have to walk away empty handed I'll have my memories of being," Logan held her thumb and index fingers an inch apart, "this close to winning big and the pride that I took a chance at happiness, even though I knew the odds were against me."

A tear traced its way down Dean's nose and Logan cupped his face, wiping it away with her thumb. Dean pressed his hand over hers and pulled it to his lips to kiss her palm. "You and Sammy…I'm not sure what I did to deserve the two of you…" Logan watched him smile against her hand, "…you're both as annoying as hell."

Logan chuckled and wiped the tears from her face with her free hand. She nodded, "Yeah, well you're not the easiest thing to live with yourself."

"Logan," Dean's voice was suddenly serious, "I'm not promising you anything, you know that right?"

Dean's eyes found Logan's and he was surprised when the hurt he expected to see wasn't there. She cocked her head at him and slapped him lightly on the back of the head, "I get that Dean. I'm not swearing my undying love here. I just don't want you pushing me away, because you're afraid I'll get hurt. I want to enjoy what we have right now, let tomorrow worry about itself."

She shifted, to ease the ache in her side, "If what's between us runs its course then so be it. If things go south in the next few months well then we tried, but I don't want you to be the big, _what if_ in my life. I mean it when I say I'm all in, no matter what, I care about you and I want to be here for you."

Dean pulled her lips to his and kissed her, hard. She whimpered when his tongue snaked into her mouth, and her hands pulled him even closer. She whimpered again as he gentled the kiss, teasing her tongue to play with his then a gentle bite to her lower lip before he pulled back, and hugged her with one arm while tucking a loose strand of her hair behind her ear with the other.

Logan rested her head on the top of his, "Okay, but Dean…" Logan whimpered.

"Yeah?" He said, unmoving.

"Shit, baby…you're killing me…lighten up…" When he finally loosened his hold from her waist, she hissed out a breath. "Oohh, now that hurt." She said, moving a hand to her side.

Dean smiled sheepishly, "Sorry…again."

"'S'ok. Shouldn't we round up the wagons and head on out?" Logan started to slide herself from Dean's lap, but he put his hands to her hips and lifted her easily to her feet before standing.

He nodded, "Probably." Dean turned and yelled toward the bedroom, "Sammy, yo…let's get shakin' man."

Dean rolled his eyes when he hear a feminine groan of irritation and Sam's hushed, but still easily heard, voice saying, "Where's your shirt…shit that's mine…" before he yelled back, "Yeah, be there in a second…We're just, ah, putting things away."

Logan laughed quietly, "Bet they are."

Dean had no such qualms about pretending he didn't know what was goin on, so he yelled back, "Yeah, well don't catch it in the zipper this time Sammy. Remember, like you did when you were sixteen with that Ronnie chick I set you up with…Dad came home early…Ha, now that was funny." Dean's laugh filled the room just as an angry and embarrassed Sam entered the room, followed by a slightly blushing, but laughing Kate.

Kate was shaking her head, "Oh, tell me you didn't."

Sam glared at her before turning to unbutton several of her buttons and then buttoning them right way, his eyebrow arched, "I did, but that's not the entire story."

Dean snorted, "The entire story is I set Sammy up with this pretty thing, Veronica. Hot number. She'd noticed Sam, who was geek-boy extraordinaire at the time, not anywhere close to his present, semi-cool self, while he was helping Dad fix the gutters on the house we'd rented."

Dean winked at Kate, "Anyway, see Ronnie was a bit older, in fact she was the mother of the two kids next door, probably thirty-five or so. Sammy was still a virgin and I felt sorry for the kid, so one day after she and I had…ah finished up, she asked me about Sam. Telling me, how cute he was and would he be interested in having a glass of ice tea with her like his older brother did sometimes. I tell her maybe and waited until the next time Dad went off on a hunt by himself. I ran next door and told Ronnie that Sam could use a glass of ice tea in the next couple of days. She shows up the next day so I go out, wait on the porch and I just know Sam's going to get the best glass of tea he ever dreamed of."

Sam interrupted, "Dean, we really should…"

"Sam, story's almost over, then we'll talk business. Besides, I owe you." Dean watched the girls both nod and then continued, "Anyway, wouldn't you figure that they were just getting down to business when I hear the Impala come up the street. By the time, I realize I should do something Dad's pulling into the drive and I'm hauling it to Sam's room, yelling, 'Sam, Dad's home, better get it zipped back up.' Shit, if he didn't take it literally. Dad comes in and finds Ronnie trying to help Sam get unstuck and well it was freakin hilarious!"

Sam slapped his brother on the back of the head, "Yeah, and if I remember we _both _got in trouble, especially when we started pissing fire two weeks later." Sam paused, turned red three times over and glanced uncomfortably at Kate, "Damn, probably should've left that part out." Sam shook his head as the girls giggled and Dean laughed harder than he'd heard him laugh in months. It was infectious and Sam found himself laughing too, even as he turned to his brother, "You are so dead, jerk."

Dean just nodded, still laughing, "Not, yet, bitch...not just yet."

**_Okay, some of you are going to like this chapter...some not so much, but whatever you think tell me about it. Don't worry...things don't ever work out like you hope for the Winchester's so if you think this is too happy-ending, trust me...(cue evil laughter) I have plans ;)_**


	34. Only in the Circle

**_Warning: Contains graphic violence...high on the yuck factor so you've been warned._**

Sam was surprised that Dean didn't try to talk Logan out of coming with them, but he also knew it wouldn't have made a difference. Dean did however try to keep Kate from tagging along.

"She's a civilian, Sam. She has no business being there." Dean said as they leaned in the trunk of the Impala, filling pockets with holy water and salt.

Sam glanced around the open trunk and watched as Logan expertly loaded the pistol grip shotgun. Kate stood beside her and just as expertly removed the spent shell from the sawed-off and slid another into the chamber to replace it. The girls were chatting about something, but the wind had picked up and Dean's rumbling around in the trunk didn't allow him to pick up on the words.

"She seems pretty comfortable around weapons." Sam said returning his head to the trunk.

"So, she can load a shotgun? So can half the county, doesn't mean she's any good with it." Dean said uncomfortably, "'Sides Sammy, she has no clue what the hell she's up against."

Sam sighed and stood up, letting Dean slam the trunk shut. "Dean, listen. According to Kate's story anyone who sees the ghost or the scarf die…Hell, the thing got a jump on Logan...I can't just leave her alone, she saw that thing and you have to admit she's held it together a hell of a lot better than most people would have."

Dean eyed his brother skeptically, he didn't like it, but Sam had a point. He didn't want her to get hurt either. Sighing he said, "Fine Sam, but she's your responsibility."

The boys moved to the front of the Impala where Logan was explaining the use of salt and holy water to Kate. Logan had given Kate a hunting knife and she had it strapped to her right leg and she held the sawed off over her shoulder comfortably. Her hair was in a ponytail and a knit cap covered her head, and the top half of her ears.

Dean stepped forward, "You know how to use that?" He asked Kate, "Or you just trying to look cool."

Kate gave Dean a cool smile and looked down at the weapon in her hands, "It's been awhile, but I'm pretty sure I remember how to use one."

Dean rolled his eyes as he walked past her, "Just point it at the bad guy and squeeze the trigger, hell it's a shotgun, you can't miss."

Kate motioned to the pistol grip in Logan's hands, "Logan, you going to be able to handle that pistol grip with your injured side? You might be better with the sawed off."

Dean turned at Kate's words. He looked at Logan, "She's right, I know you like her and all, but the sawed off won't hurt as much if you have to fire." He glanced at Kate with a crooked smile, "Good catch, still doesn't mean anything."

Kate dropped her eyes to the ground, to keep Dean from seeing her smile and then traded weapons with Logan, whose only protest was, "Damn…hadn't thought about that."

Dean turned and headed toward the tower with Logan right behind him. Sam's smile was wide when he reached Kate's side. "How do you know guns?" he asked her as the moved briskly to catch up with Dean and Logan.

"Used to hunt with my dad and brother," she shook her head at Sam's confusion, "No, not this kind, you know deer, elk, even hunted bear once. My mother left us when we were eight. Dad…"

Sam interrupted, "You said 'we were eight', who's the other part of the we?"

Kate kept her eyes on the path, "My twin brother, Cheveyo, Chevy. He joined the Marines, ended up in Afghanistan. He was killed in a suicide bombing near Kabul in 2004."

She shrugged, "Still mad at him for leaving me like that." Kate smiled sadly, "but Dad would have been so proud of him. He was a big outdoorsman, taught my brother and I to love and respect nature, but also how to survive in it." She shrugged, "He wanted to honor his Hopi heritage, wanted us to be proud of it, too. He taught us everything he knew, everything he had learned from his grandmother, who raised him and helped raise us."

Sam reached for her hand, "I'm sure your dad would have been proud of you too."

Kate nodded, "He was." She laughed, "I was actually better at the survival stuff than Chevy…he didn't like being in the woods without his phone or his video games, but he was an amazing shot. He was chosen for the Olympic team, but decided on the military instead."

"Sam, come on man…times a wastin'." Dean's voice called softly from the doorway to the tower. Dean stood just inside the door, Logan to his right. "I'll take point and you take up the rear, so hand over the firearms ladies." Dean said with a cocky smile.

"Gee, Dean that sounded so…I don't know, arrogant and sexist that it just melted my little heart." Logan replied, batting her eyelashes, as she handed Dean the shotgun.

Kate chuckled and when she tired to hand hers to Sam, he shook his head, "You say you're good, if you want to keep it you can." Kate shook her head.

"I'll gladly shoot at a charging bear if I have to, but I don't know how these things move, so right now, feel free to play Rambo." She pushed the gun into his hands and motioned to Logan, "Besides, she has that ritual thing going on and I think it kicks ass."

They started up the stairs, moving briskly. Halfway up, Logan stumbled and leaned against the wall. Dean turned and glared, "Come on Logan, you're gonna' have to suck it up. We need to get this done." To her credit, Logan didn't complain, just nodded and held a hand to her side, breathing slow and deep.

"Just a minute, didn't know there were so many damn steps. Go ahead if you want, I'll catch up."

Dean and Sam snorted at the same time, "Like hell." Came from Dean, while, "No way," came from Sam.

"Fine, I'm ready anyway." Logan replied as she started moving up the steps. This time Dean set a slower pace.

Dean looked behind him, "You do have that scarf right, Sam?"

Sam sighed. Why'd he have to be so much like their father? He answered, taunting Dean back, "Yes. You do have the salt, right Dean?"

Dean nodded, not even responding to the reminder of that hunt with their father when at fourteen Sam had forgotten to bring the kerosene and had caught flak from his father and an eighteen-year-old Dean for it, only to find that Dean had neglected to pack the salt. The two of them stood neck deep in the grave of an overwhelmingly ripe, recently deceased lawyer for over an hour while their father screamed at them. After they improvised with the salt from their shells and gas siphoned from the car, Dad made them jog the six miles back to the motel, in the rain, at two in the morning. Neither Sam nor Dean ever forgot to pack the necessary items again.

They made the final turn, twelve more steps and the smell hit them before they noticed anything else. Dean's eyes caught Sam's when he turned from his higher vantage point; they both knew. That smell, once you smell it you never forget it. Sam knew it was going to be bad, knew it and didn't want to face it; he didn't want to face death.

The girls wrinkled their noses and Logan gagged, holding her side. Kate breathed through her mouth, "Please tell me there's a dead deer up there with its intestines laying on the floor. I can handle that just fine." Dean caught her eye, impressed that she knew the scent, but he shook his head. "Shit."

They crept slowly up the final six stairs and Sam felt his stomach flop in protest for the second time that day.

Sam noticed that the furniture was stacked at impossible angles along one wall, held in place by some unknown force and in the center of the room, the Ella-thing stood over the body of what, at one time, might have been a woman, the long blond hair the only clue to its sex. Blood was everywhere. Thick pools of it were soaking into the wood floor, splatters of it and gore stuck to the rough-hewn walls while a small river of it was oozing its way toward the stairs.

Intestines lay around the body in the shape of a pentagram, runes were drawn on the walls, floor and ceiling in blood and something else that Sam was hesitant to name. The Ella-thing hissed at them and held something lovingly, in one claw like hand as she stared, head moving side to side like some kind of crazy reptile.

Dean raised the shotgun and fired, but the rounds did nothing, other than make the Ella-thing laugh and squeal, before taking a bloody bite from the object in her hand. "In the circle…in the circle…" the thing hissed and chanted, "…only evil in the circle…" it shook its head, "…not the spirit in the circle…"

Dean dropped the gun to his side, "Yeah, well then you're stuck in the damn circle aren't you? You crazy bitch." He said to the thing before turning to Sam, "What the hell is wrong with this thing. She's nuttier than a squirrel turd under an oak tree."

Kate had moved to Logan's side and had an arm around her shoulders for support as Logan attempted not to vomit onto the floor. Sam handed Kate the shotgun and moved to his brother's side. He heard whimpering, just as Dean pointed to the far corner of the room. A boy, no older than Dean had been when their mother died sat curled in the corner, holding his arm awkwardly against his side and crying softly as he rocked back and forth.

Dean clenched his teeth, "Shit, Sam…the kid." He turned his anger on Ella-thing and screamed at it, "You fucking bitch!" and leveling the gun at the things head, he fired again.

The thing laughed, "…circle, you all will die…none will live…die, die, die…" it continued it's chanting, pausing to laugh every once in awhile.

Logan, having managed to pull herself together started her own chanting, "Terra, vente, ignis et pluvia. Cuncta quattuor numina, vos obsecro. Defendete nos a recente malo resoluto. Omnia...veritatis."

Laughter bubbled from the creature's throat and its voice grew stronger. It took another bite from the thing in its hand and began chanting something of its own, in a language even Sam couldn't identify. The syllables were almost lyrical as they poured from its mouth. The air in the gory circle wavered, altering the shape within. Smoke and the overwhelming smell of sulfur making it difficult to breathe.

Sam stared at Dean, "What the fuck?"

Dean turned to Logan, "Try one of those other ritual spells you know."

Logan stopped and began chanting something else, this time in what Sam thought was Gaelic, but he wasn't sure. "'r allu chan chyneua a cara a gobeithia caethiwa hynny asbri chan casewch a caddug. Ballu 'u acses at hynny chan 'n anllygredig asgre. Chymorth hynny a baffio erbyn 'r dywyllwch , a Mai prevail a baedda 'r caddug bacia at annwfn."

The creature screamed, but was still moving. "Is it supposed to be able to move?" Sam asked looking at Logan.

She shrugged, paused her chanting, "Don't know." She motioned at the thing, "It doesn't seem to like it. This ritual asks for protection and assistance to send the darkness back to hell, so it's more like an exorcism."

Dean looked over at Sam, "Fuck it. Let's burn the bitch, grab the kid and get the hell out of here." When Sam nodded, he continued, "Alright, Sammy. Get that scarf out and let's get this done." Dean looked over at Logan, "You, keep up the chanting, hell even if it just disorients or confuses the thing it'll help."

Logan glanced from Dean to Sam and then moved to sit at the top step, breathing heavy as the smoke made her cough and waves of pain rolled up her side. Kate knelt beside her, shotgun readied, "Are you going to be okay?"

Logan nodded and started chanting softly, but steadily as Dean and Sam moved into the room.

**_More up soon, but let me know what you think...I love to hear from you all ;)_**


	35. Suffering Creates the Strongest Soul

**_Sorry, took me long than I hoped to post..._**

The first thing Sam did was pour a circle of salt around the disgusting pentagram on the floor. The creature, no longer resembling the Ella-thing laughed and spun, following Sam as he moved. Sam watched the thing and quietly began reciting the Roman Ritual, "Exorcizo te, omnis spiritus immunde, in nomine Dei Patris omnipotentis, et in noimine Jesu Christi Filii ejus…" The being in the circle laughed, its voice becoming deeper, sounding more refined as Sam continued, "…Domini et Judicis nostri, et in virtute Spiritus Sancti, ut descedas ab hoc plasmate Dei…"

Sam finished the uninterrupted circle of salt and a shiver of fear ran through him as the voice whispered his name. Sam ignored it. His voice louder, forcing confidence he didn't feel into his words, he continued the exorcism. Sam's stomach sank as he realized it was having no affect on the creature, which was now as tall as Sam was and broad shouldered. Its face still obscured by the smoke and distortion of the circle. "…quod Dominus noster ad templum sanctum suum vocare dignatus est, ut fiat templum Dei vivi, et Spiritus Sanctus habitet in eo. Per eumdem Christum Dominum nostrum, qui venturus est judicare vivos et mortuos, et saeculum per ignem."

The creature laughed and disdainfully responding with, "Amen," the classic response of one undergoing an exorcism

It wasn't the word that made Sam's heart skip a beat, or made cold sweat form along his hairline or made him suddenly turn and find Dean's eyes. It wasn't the fact that the creature was now laughing, a deep and rich timbre ringing through the room. It was simply the voice; that voice.

Dean had reached the corner where the small boy was curled and was just kneeling to pick him up when he heard the, amen. Dean's eyes searched for his brother's across the room, knowing, but needing confirmation. Sam nodded and Dean quickly yanked the boy into his arms and hurried back to where Kate knelt beside Logan.

Kate stood and took the, almost unconscious, child from Dean, pulling him protectively into her arms. She brushed the hair from his face and kissed his head almost automatically, before she settled him down on the floor behind her. Dean glanced down at Logan, who was no longer chanting, but staring, along with Sam into the circle. He saw the look of disbelief on her face, disbelief and fear and he swallowed his own dread as he moved to stand with Sam.

"Dean…" Sam's voice held a hint of panic, just enough to make Dean worry, "Dean, he's dead, you fucking killed him."

"Sam, it's just a trick. You know how these mother fuckers lie." Dean busied himself with reloading the shotgun, dropping the empty shells onto the floor and shoving two fresh shells into the chamber before closing it. He eyed the circle. The thing's face was still obscured by the wavering mist in the circle, but it laughed again and cocked its head to the side in a way that made Dean swallow the sudden lump of fear in his throat.

The demon laughed, "Oh, yeah, Sammy listen to your brother. He's never steered you wrong before has he?" Laughter filled the small space, so loud it threatened to disorient.

Sam moved a step toward the circle, feet almost crossing the salt and he stared into the swirling smoke in the circle, looking for the creature's face. Needing to know.

The demon moved forward, pushing close to the inner limit of its pentagram. Sam could see its teeth when it smiled, but not the one thing that would confirm the identity of the creature. He still couldn't see its eyes.

"Ah, poor doubting Sammy, what're you looking for? Need to press your fingers into my palms and push your fist into my side?" The demon asked, holding his hands out toward Sam.

Sam swallowed, pushed his fear beneath his growing anger and shook his head, "No, just confirming that you're still stuck inside a cage of your own creation." Sam turned his back to the circle and moved back to where Dean stood, the gun aimed at the demon's head.

The demon laughed, almost hysterically. "Oh, for the moment, just for the moment." He paused, and still not revealing his face, he glanced toward the girls at the top of the stairs. He motioned at them and nodded, "I see you brought along the entertainment Sammy-boy, and they're so pretty." He turned, looked at the gory mess he stood in the middle of and then bent to pick something up from the floor by his foot.

He turned the thing, holding it against his own face; a macabre mask shadowing his eye, cheek and part of an upper lip, and with a sudden gag, Dean finally realized it was what was left of the side of the woman's face. The demon smiled and let his tongue slip through the gap that was once the woman's lips. "They are so much prettier than," he lifted his mask, "she is now," he tossed his plaything over his shoulder where it landed with a sickeningly, wet thump, "…though we had fun until… I broke her." He shrugged.

The demon paused, his hooded eyes gazing intently into the darkness near the stairs and as he cocked his head, he again licked his lips, "She didn't last nearly as long as you did, my sweet, sweet little Logan." The demon whispered almost seductively, "You. Now you, I couldn't break, but I tried like hell." He laughed, "Get it?...Like hell?"

He paced slowly within the confines of the pentagram. "Oh, so pretty, so much prettier than I ever would have thought you'd grow up to be." The demon put his thumb on his chin and tapped his lip thoughtfully, "You didn't disappoint me then and you don't disappoint now."

A tortured scream from the stairs made the boys turn, even while the demon laughed. Logan stood and her hair floated around her as if wind were whipping through the room. She had her head thrown back and her arms stretched out to her sides. The scream rose again and then words rolled from her throat, thick and tense. Words that Sam vaguely remembered, but couldn't place. A pulse of power thrummed through the room and as it hit him, Sam fell to his knees.

Dean stood still, but only because he couldn't move. It was as if some unseen force held him in place, so he watched as Sam grabbed his head, groaning in agony. Sam lifted his head to the ceiling and screamed. It echoed back into the sudden silence of the room as Logan's words stopped. With a viscous roar, Sam stood and faced Logan.

Logan nodded and then lifted her head. Her wide eyes, once again a light, crystal blue stared into the circle and suddenly the smoke and distortion were gone.

"Sam!" Dean screamed desperately. "Damn it Sam, what the hell is going on!?"

Ignoring him, Sam watched as Logan moved toward the circle. She stopped in front of the demon and gave him a smile. Dean would have sworn that the demon was scared, but since his eyes were on the ground, it was difficult to tell.

Logan's voice was haunting, "Oh, you broke me. Tore my body into pieces but my spirit, no you couldn't touch that so you just squashed it; pushed it down so deep it grew thicker roots. You made me stronger."

The demon's eyes flashed and Sam couldn't help but gasp when Azazel's yellow eyes stared right back at him. The demon smiled and winked at him, before turning back to face Logan. "Ahh, and no gratitude? I make you better and you're still bitter." He made a tsking sound in the back of his throat. "You don't need to tell me you're strong and tough…I know. You sure were then, even at fourteen you outlasted your mother, and well she lasted longer than I thought possible. With everything, and I do mean everything," he leered, "we did to her that day...but you know because you watched didn't you? You saw how we tortured her; saw everything and then you watched her die." Azazel crossed his arms, "I remember hearing you beg. You begged us to stop hurting her and then when we turned on you, tortured you the same way, you begged again. First for us to stop, then for us to let you die and it was music to my ears." He pursed his lips in thought, "Though, maybe, just maybe I should have given you that."

The demon's yellow eyes glowed eerily, "But now look at you; all grown up…and special too. Sad, you don't even know just how special you are either," he paused and scratched his chin thoughtfully, "but I have to admit that at the time I didn't know either. Definitely would have made things easier if I would have though." Azazel sighed, "Never mind, can't change the past now," his eyes swung to Sam and then settled on Dean, "can we boys?"

Dean's expression was dark, full of fury and a touch of something else and it suddenly registered to the demon what it was and his laugh, full and evil filled the room again, "Oh, what is it we have here?" he sounded pleased and excited, "Oh, this'll be fun." He added quietly.

He took a step closer to where Dean was still standing. He watched the hunter's muscles twitch, trying to move against the unseen force binding him in place, "You know, I can smell her on you. You've had her…she was fun back then. How 'bout telling me if she still is?"

"Look, I don't kiss and tell so yeah, yeah…what ever, keep running the mouth asshole. It seems to be the only thing you're able to do right now. How was dying, by the way? Enjoy your trip back to hell?" Dean answered through gritted teeth.

Azazel gazed at Logan before he winked at her and ran his lust-filled eyes over her form. Completely ignoring Dean's outburst he continued, "Looks like she's still all kinds of fun," his eyes caught Dean's again, "and I have to tell you, she was probably the best I've ever had; all sweet and innocent, untouched."

He interrupted himself, threw his head back and laughed before he leveled his gaze on Dean again, "I got the first taste of her, you know…taught her everything she knows." Yellow eyes closed and a flash of pleasure touched his face, "She's so damn hot, isn't she? So responsive." The demon's eyes drifted closed and a small sound came from his throat, "Yes, oh, yes and don't you just love the way she bites her lip right before she…"

"You, filthy son of a bitch!" Dean screamed, and suddenly realizing there was no pressure against him he jumped, moving faster than he even thought was possible. His foot was half-way through the line of salt when Sam grabbed him, yanking him back to the safe side of the circle. He pushed against his brother as rage and desperation pushed him to his limits. "You sick, piece of shit…I'm going to fucking make sure you die and never come back. Even if it means I have to hunt your ass down in hell myself."

"You know, from what I hear, in a few months you'll be able to do just that." Yellow-Eyes chuckled, "Then who's going to save poor, little Sammy, what with John Winchester and the chip off the old block Dean, dead?" He threw his head back and laughed again, "You Winchesters are a sorry bunch, so willing to sacrifice yourselves for each other that you end up killing the ones you leave behind." He raked his eyes back over Logan, before smiling evilly at Dean, "Oh…yes, and once you're gone I'll have something other than Sammy to play with."

Dean suddenly overpowered his brother, "FUCK. YOU. I'm going to fucking kill you!" Dean went two steps before Logan stopped him by standing in front of him.

"It's alright Dean." Logan said quietly, her eerie eyes almost glowing in the dim light of the room. She put her hand on his shoulder, "I can see him, really see." Logan smiled, "He's impotent." She said, her eyes going to Azazel, "he doesn't have any power here, unless you're willing to give it to him. He's just the ghost of a demon, possessing a ghost. You're doing what he wants…," she motioned to his angry stance, "it's the only power he had right now." Her pale eyes met his and she frowned, "Don't let him win, please."

Dean's entire body shook with rage, but he nodded and let Sam pull him a few steps safely backwards.

**_Feed the muse...she needs it!_**


	36. Up in Smoke

Azazel smiled and watched Logan move, "Oh, you figuring things out? Think you know what's going to happen?"

Logan shook her head, "No, I have no clue, but I can tell that as long as you are in that circle you can't hurt us and when we destroy the ghost, you're out one ghostly meat-puppet." She smiled at him, "So pretty much you're fucked."

Sam shifted and Azazel's eyes found his, "Hey, Sammy…what did you see?" Excitement laced his voice with hope, "I know you saw something, and you owe it to me to share."

Sam smiled, "I don't owe you anything, but I'll tell you what I saw." Sam laughed and watched as Dean moved into position, the scarf already soaked in kerosene. "I saw this moment right now. This one."

Azazel looked confused, "What are you saying Sam?"

Sam moved toward the circle then paused on his side of the salt line. "This one, too." He said as he stepped over the line and into Azazel's pentagram.

Azazel took one step back and then stood his ground. "What are you playing at?"

Sam smiled, "I know something you don't." Sam shrugged, "Thought you might want the information. Especially, since it involves you."

The demon cocked his head and watched Sam warily. "So, you going to tell me?"

Sam nodded, "Seems someone's been keeping a secret from you."

Azazel gave Sam an uneasy smile, "Who and what, Sammy-boy?"

"Lilith." Sam answered quietly, waiting.

The demon hissed and rolled his eyes, "She's always keeping secrets, that bitch. What's so special about this one?"

Sam leaned close and motioned for Azazel to come closer. He bent his mouth to the demon's ear and answered quietly, "Nine years ago, you raped a little girl and killed her entire family. Nine months after that that girl gave birth." Sam paused, watching as Azazel grew uneasy, "She gave birth to a little girl." Sam pulled back and moved back outside the circle, before saying evenly as he crossed his arms, "Wanna' guess what her adoptive parents named her?"

Azazel moved forward, stopping just at the line of salt. His power weak. "It's a lie. It's impossible. It can't be." His voice rose as his anger increased. "You're lying to me Sam. Lies. That bitch is not mine."

Sam turned and walked to where Logan stood with Kate. He watched as Dean whistled to get the demon's attention. "Hey, ugly over here."

The demon swung around just as Dean threw a lighter into the now kerosene soaked circle. The room suddenly filled with smoke and the odor of burning flesh as the woman's body ignited. Dean's voice now quiet, "Exorcizo te, omnis spiritus immunde, in nomine Dei Patris omnipotentis, et in noimine Jesu Christi Filii ejus Domini et Judicis nostri, et in virtute Spiritus Sancti, ut descedas ab hoc plasmate Dei…"

Attached to the Ella-thing's ghost, Azazel had nowhere to go and he screamed angrily, "Tell me you're lying. She can't be mine, that bitch! You're going to pay for this, both of you."

Dean's words continued, "...quod Dominus noster ad templum sanctum suum vocare dignatus est, ut fiat templum Dei vivi, et Spiritus Sanctus habitet in eo. Per eumdem Christum Dominum nostrum, qui venturus est judicare vivos et mortuos, et saeculum per ignem."

Suddenly Azazel was gone and in his place stood a young man. He was the type of handsome kid you see on a football team and his longish blond hair just brushed his muscled shoulders. He stood pressed against the salt line, his eyes focused solely on Logan.

A gasp escaped Logan and she blinked. Her eyes swung to Dean and he noticed they were their normal blue once again, then her eyes were back to on the circle. Dean knew whom it was she was seeing and the panicked look on her face confirmed it even before she said his name.

"Finn…I..." Tears were already in her eyes, and Dean was moving toward the stairs. The fire was building and it wouldn't be long before it engulfed the entire room.

"Don't leave me Logan. I never meant to hurt you. I…he made me do those things to you." Finn's voice was strained with emotion, but the eyes staring into Logan's were empty.

Logan began to shake and she shook her head. Dean reached her side, just as she looked like she was going to pass out. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and herded her toward the stairs. Sam had picked up the little boy and he and Kate were already making their way down the steps. Dean pushed Logan to the first step even as Finn screamed after them.

"Logan! Logan!" He screamed again, "Fuck you Logan…dammit, help me."

Logan paused and turned to watch as the fire engulfed Finn's form. She pulled against Dean's arms and shook her head, "Please, we have to help him. He didn't mean it."

Dean shook her harshly. "Logan, he's long gone, dead. That's just the demon playing games with you. We need to go." He pushed her down the stairs ahead of him.

Finn's voice screaming after them, "Fuck you all. Logan, remember what we did to you? Remember? Ohhh, baby I sure do. Sweet, sweet sister…!" He began to laugh, then the laughter changed and they heard Azazel's taunting laughter, "You haven't seen the last of me. I should have killed you." More laughter and then silence descended.

Logan collapsed against Dean's side halfway down the stairs. Dean could hear alarms and people by then. The smoke was getting ever thicker as the fire was rapidly followed them down the stairs and it was difficult to breathe.

"Come on Logan, I know you're hurt, but we have to move baby. Help me out, okay?" Dean prodded, coughing, as he slid an arm around her shoulder and half dragged her body down another flight of stairs.

It was getting difficult to see and Dean could feel the heat pressing down at him from above. Picking up the pace, he started taking the steps faster, but Logan's ungainly weight and the coughing fits were making it difficult. Knowing he was going to hurt her, he picked her up and threw her as gently as possible over his right shoulder. She didn't protest, didn't move and Dean began to move downward again, pausing only long enough to catch his breath at each landing.

"Dean? Dean?" Dean heard his brother's frantic voice before he saw him.

"Sam…over here…" Dean's voice was strained and he was coughing almost non-stop.

Sam was suddenly at Dean's side, he grabbed his arm, one more flight of stairs, one more turn, and the three of them burst out into the snowy cold. Emergency vehicles were pulling up the paths, and security personnel were moving people away from the tower. Bits of fiery wood, and glass began to rain down into the snow just as the three of them cleared the area.

EMTs were trying to pull Logan from Dean's shoulder, but his growl had them backing up. He refused any offer of help, except from his brother who helped him transfer her into his arms while leading him over to where Kate stood. She still held the boy, who was clinging to her arms as she spoke with emergency workers. She pointed toward Dean and Sam and nodded at the man she was talking with.

The man looked angry and frazzled and Sam could hear them talking as they approached.

"Katrin, do you have any idea how it started, or what they were doing up there?" The man asked as he turned down the volume of the radio he held in his hands.

Kate shook her head, "Look, boss, told you. I thought I saw smoke, thought it might be Ryan. You know how he likes to entertain up there." Kate rolled her eyes and the man nodded and gave her a knowing smile, "I owed him for that time he filled my chopper up with those packing peanuts, so I thought I'd pop up for a visit." Kate motioned toward Sam and Dean, "My friends were walking with me, and so we went up together. Good thing too, but I have no clue how the kid and the woman got up there."

Kate motioned to someone and then grabbed the oxygen mask when the kid brought a tank over. She slapped the mask on Dean's face, "Sit before you fall." She said, pushing him down gently onto the bumper of a car, "And let Sam take Logan." She gave a frustrated sigh when he only tightened his grip.

Kate shifted the boy in her arms and turned back to the man she'd been addressing as, boss. "Steve, these are my friends; Sam, Dean and Logan. If it weren't for them I wouldn't have been able to save the boy." She lowered her eyes for a second, "I only wish we'd had a chance for his mother." Genuine sorrow tainted her voice and Sam reached for her hand.

She gripped Sam's hand and moved closer to his side, his arm sliding easily around her shoulders. Steve's eyebrow shot up, but he nodded at the Sam and Dean, "Thanks. I appreciate anyone willing to help others, especially when it puts their own lives at risk. You boys should be proud of yourselves."

Dean made a sound in the back of his throat and Sam covered by clearing his and thanking Steve for his words. Steve raised a chin at Dean, "You should let someone take a look at her."

Dean shook his head and pulled the oxygen mask from his face, "No, she's fine…she's just emotional, what with seeing that woman's body."

The man nodded and turned back to Kate, "You're officially off, read that as suspended," Steve held his hand up when Kate protested, "tomorrow and the rest of the weekend, but I want a report on my desk first thing Monday. You're still to respond to any "all-hands" calls." He gave Kate a half-smile, "Don't pull the theatrics Katrin. You know the rules. Even if Ryan had been up there you didn't have authorization to be there and I warned everyone last staff meeting."

Kate moved the boy from one hip to another, then looked up at Steve, "Yes, sir. See you Monday."

Steve smiled and gave Kate's shoulder a squeeze, "Good job, Ross." He said and then looked at he boy in her arms, "Good, save." He added, brushing the kid's hair.

A woman's voice called, "Jason! Jason! Oh, god, Jason." A woman came running up to Kate, followed by a man.

Both were in their late twenties or early thirties and the boy in Kate's arms suddenly sat up, "Mama! Fire…Mama…"

The woman reached Kate, pulled the boy roughly into her arms, and crushed him against her chest. "Baby, oh where were you?"

Jason pointed at the tower and the woman began to cry. She looked over to Kate, "Thank you…thank you." She said as the man with her pulled the boy into his arms and kissed him.

Jason snuggled into the man's arms, "Daddy, there was a bad man and he hurt Lisa, but then he," Jason pointed at Dean, "he helped me and got me out of the fire."

The man turned to Dean and nodded, tears running down his face, "I don't know how to thank you. You saved my boy." The man hugged Jason to him again, "He means everything to me."

Dean glanced up at Sam and nodded, "Yeah, no problem, man. Just keep an eye on the little guy."

Jason's father smiled and nodded again, before turning to talk with Steve.

Dean stood and set Logan on her feet. He steadied her against his side and then tipped his head at Sam. Sam nodded and then was at Dean's side.

"I'm exhausted, we're going back to the cabin. We need to figure shit out, but hell it can wait until tomorrow." Dean's voice was hoarse and he broke into a coughing fit.

Sam waited until the coughing was over, "Yeah, good, but we should stay nearby. Think I'll bring Kate back to the cabin too."

Dean nodded, "Might need her to look Logan over too. I think she pulled a stitch or two out."

Sam raised an eyebrow, "We'll catch up."

Dean nodded and then brushed Logan's hair from her face before whispering something in her ear. She nodded back and started walking as Dean turned and started walking back down the path toward their room.

**_OK, so two chapters...woo-hoo, sorry for the delay between updates. Work was hellish!_**

**_You know what I want...so make me a happy woman._**


	37. Meanwhile, Back at the Cabin

Dean pushed the door shut behind him with his foot. His arms were still around Logan since he still wasn't convinced that her legs would fully support her weight. He glanced at the clock on the microwave as they moved toward the small bedroom and he noticed it was earlier than he thought it was, only just now midnight.

Logan's weight was heavy against him as he led her to the bed and sat her down. She hovered, dazed and then purposely fell back to lie on the bed. "I feel like I've been run over by a truck."

Dean smiled, "Yeah, know what you mean."

Logan leaned up on her elbows and winced when the stitches pulled, "Ooo, that still hurts." She cocked her head and looked up Dean, "You have no idea what I mean. You're rarely tired after a hunt and I don't remember when, if ever, you've bitched about being hurt."

"So, can't be different tonight?" Dean asked slumping into the small chair and pulling off his boots and socks.

Logan shook her head and sighed, "Guess so."

Dean tossed his boots to the side and peeled his coat off, dropping it onto the chair. "I need a shower, or you want first dibs?" Dean said heading out into the living area where he'd left his duffle.

"No, you go ahead." Logan called after him, as she sat up to pull off her own boots.

Dean ducked back into the room, duffle in hand, "You sure?"

Logan glanced up, "Yeah…I'm just going to rest a few." When Dean headed back up the hall, she yelled back, "Hey, you can use the one in here. Sam should be back soon."

Logan had managed to get her boots and socks off and was lying on the bed, head resting on the pillows when Dean came back in, duffle still in hand. He glanced at Logan and shrugged, "You ok, really?"

She nodded and watched as Dean ducked into the bathroom on the left side of the room. She closed her eyes and breathed deep as she heard Dean run the shower. She must have dozed because the next thing she heard was Dean gently shaking her arm.

She slitted an eye to see him, hair dripping and towel around his waist, standing beside her, "Hey, you going to shower? I left it running." When he didn't get an answer he shook his wet hair over her, raining drops of water over her face and chest.

"Shit, Dean. I'm moving, really." Logan rolled to her right side carefully, and bit back a pained hiss when her left side throbbed. She pulled the hem of her shirt up and winced when she saw the blood on the bandages.

"You mind helping me with my shirt?" Logan's voice sounded so small to Dean.

Dean nodded and helped Logan into a sitting position. Together they worked her right arm out of the sleeve of the shirt and then Dean pulled it gently over her head and down her left arm. Areas on the bandage were soaked with blood and a thin thread of red was trickling down Logan's side. Dean shook his head and glared at her sternly, but he didn't manage to pull off the desired effect with his hair dripping and the towel at his waist. Logan smiled at him and shook her head.

"It's not funny. I shouldn't have let you come along." Dean pushed hair out of Logan's eyes, "You wouldn't have gotten hurt, again." He said quietly as his eyes met hers.

"Let me come? First, the gun comment, now I need your permission to hunt…" Logan leaned forward and wearily pressed her forehead against Dean's side, "…really, you need to stop or I'm going to get all weak in the knees."

Dean rested a hand gently on the top of Logan's head, "Not sure you can get any weaker."

Logan heard the teasing in his voice and pinched his butt through the towel, "Speaking of which, how about helping me up to the shower." She lifted her head and looked up at Dean, "Honestly, I'm not too sure I'll stay standing, but hell if I'm going to bed smelling like this." She wrinkled her nose disdainfully at the odor of smoke and blood and who knew what else.

"Come on then, up." Dean moved to pull Logan up from the bed. She leaned heavily against him into the bathroom, where he leaned her against the sink before pulling back. He made quick work of undoing her jeans and then helped her drag them down and off her legs.

When he stood back up, Logan was hesitantly pulling the bandages from her side. Pausing to wince when they stuck to a particularly painful area then dropping the entire thing into the trashcan by the sink. She turned and wiped steam from the mirror and couldn't keep the tears from her eyes when she took in the ugliness of it, again.

Ignoring the wound, Dean gently wrapped an arm around her and lifted her chin to meet his eyes in the mirror. He shook his head, "Don't. It doesn't make you any less sexy…nothing could, and it's not your first scar." Dean's hand travelled to her back and he fingered the scar of the wound by her shoulder that he'd sewn up for her, then another on her hip, "You're sexy as hell, Logan, scar or no scar."

Dean pressed his thickening length against her bottom, and bent to kiss the side of her neck. His eyes still locked with hers, "I still want you…" He whispered near her ear, even as his fingers brushed lightly at the nipple of her right breast. "…still need you."

A small whimper fell from Logan's open mouth, even as the tears slid down her cheek and she pressed back into him more firmly. Dean's mouth followed up the curve of her neck and then he kissed her softly on the cheek, his eyes still on hers in the mirror.

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up." He said, pulling back and opening the shower curtain. He smiled, "You smell."

Logan chuckled, and let him help her into the shower. Dean dropped his towel and followed her in. Turning her to face the water, he pulled her back against his chest to support her. He tried to keep as much of the spray from her left side by turning them slightly.

One hand on Logan's right hip, he used his other to soap up a washcloth and then he handed it to her. She took it eagerly and moaned appreciatively as the soap and water washed away the smell of death and fear.

Together they managed to wash away the blood and soot and then Dean lathered up her hair and gently rinsed it before shutting off the water and briskly drying her with a towel. Logan protested weakly, but didn't do much to stop him. Once they were both dried, he helped her back to the bed.

"Dean?" Sam yelled from the living room, "You here, man?"

Dean paused to drag a pair of boxers from his duffle and pull them on before pushing open the bedroom door, "Yeah, let me finish changing." Dean answered and then was digging through Logan's pack and pulling out a pair of red bikini briefs, and a black tank top. He held them up for her approval. Logan shrugged and when the panties landed in her lap, she bent and pulled them on. She still held a hand towel to her side.

Dean dropped the tank top on the bed beside her, "Let me take a look." He said and pulled the towel from her side. Dean, who hadn't seen the wound since Kate worked on it, nodded grimly. "She did a good job." He said absently, noting that none of the stitches had pulled loose. The open areas were still oozing, two places pretty heavily.

Dean gently pressed the towel against the bleeding and put Logan's hand over it, "Still bleeding, Sam restocked so I think we have some Surgicel. I'll go look, maybe let Kate take a look." Dean pulled on a clean pair of jeans, grabbed a t-shirt and pulled it over his head as he headed out into the living area.

Kate had showered, and she sat by the now-roaring fire, finger combing her wet hair. Sam was just coming down the steps from the loft; a clean t-shirt in hand and his jeans unbuttoned. His hair was still damp and just starting to fall from its post-shower slick back.

Sam shrugged at his brother, "Think we all had the same idea." He motioned to Dean's own damp hair and clean clothes. "We showered at Kate's when she stopped to pick up some things."

Dean nodded, "Hey, Logan's still bleeding. You, ah did borrow some Surgicel from that ambulance when we restocked last right?"

Sam frowned thoughtfully before nodding. He pulled his shirt over his head and moved to the counter where he'd left the box of supplies. Sam rifled through the box, "Logan holding up alright?" He asked pulling out a smaller box and then a couple of foil packages.

Dean shrugged, "Pretty good, I guess. We haven't really talked much. She's pretty tired." Dean turned to Kate, "Hey, thanks for taking care of your boss…we really appreciate it, and sorry you got in trouble." Dean gave her a half-smile.

Kate looked up and then stood, "He's just saving face. He knows what I did was right," Kate moved to the counter by Sam and took the Surgicel from his hand, "Wish I'd known you had this earlier, must've missed it." She glanced back at Dean, "Steve's a good guy, but he's fair. He can't let everyone think I went up there to harass Ryan and not discipline me for it, and don't worry about the police and fire department. They're both satisfied that the nanny went up with her lover and when things didn't go well for him he hurt her and then started the fire to cover it up, just forgetting the kid."

Sam nodded, "Seems there really was a guy she'd been talking to earlier, so now they're just looking for some faceless kid to pin it on."

Dean shifted and pointed over his shoulder at the bedroom, "Yeah, well can we get Logan patched back up so she can sleep?"

Kate moved briskly past him, holding up the Surgicel and bandages supplies she'd gathered. "I'll get her squared away."

Sam moved around the counter and pulled open the refrigerator; he bent and pulled two beers from the second shelf. He shoved the door closed, walked back to where Dean was still standing and pushed a beer into Dean's hand before collapsing onto the couch with a sigh.

Dean opened his beer, tossing the cap onto the counter and then moved to the chair, where he sat taking a long draught from the bottle. "Good thinking, Sammy." Dean said before taking another long drink.

Sam smiled, "Yeah, well it's been one hell of day."

Dean rested his head on the back of the chair and closed his eyes, "No kidding." He opened one eye and watched his brother nurse his beer, "You know, Kate's pretty cool and she's damn hot, bro."

Sam smiled, "Not sure if I should say thanks or kick you for noticing how hot she is." Sam sipped his beer, his expression changing, "Any idea what the hell's going on?"

Dean set his half-empty bottle on the hearth beside him, head still on the back of the chair, "None, but I have lots of unanswered questions." Dean rolled his head toward his brother, his voice serious, "What did you see, Sam?"

Sam sighed, he'd known his brother would be asking about his vision. He'd gotten so used to not having them and now they were suddenly back. They were also different. They used to come mostly in his sleep, wake him up like nightmares, vague images floating across his mind while the pain pounded in his head. Now when they came, he was always awake, the visions were extremely detailed, so vivid sometimes it was like watching a movie. The pain usually going as the vision faded. Before his visions were always about death, and now they were not.

"I saw you try to cross the circle, saw, first me, and then Logan stop you. I saw myself cross the circle, tell Yellow Eyes exactly what I told him and then saw you torch him." Sam looked his brother in the eye and smiled, "I lied to him, because part of what I saw was the past."

Dean was confused and it showed on his face, "What are you…?"

Sam took a sip of his beer before interrupting his brother, "She's not his. Lilith isn't his, but I saw that telling him she was would make him angry." Sam shrugged, "Pissing him off was the least I could do."

Dean smiled wide and grabbed his beer from the hearth. He held it up in a salute, "Good, it's not much, but it's better than nothing. What I don't get is why that pissed him off so much? I mean if she were his wouldn't that help him out…she's super strong, probably could bring him back, right?"

Sam shook his head, "Even if she were his, she wouldn't help him. They go back, way, back and they hate each other. Lilith simply prefers to be the only soul ever in the body she possesses. She used the situation to create herself a body, one that met her specific needs." Sam sat forward, suddenly serious, "One of her needs was that her body be created in violence."

"That's wrong in so many ways," Dean said shaking his head. Still confused he asked, "You have any clue what's going on with Logan and the freaky eye thing she's pulling?"

"Don't know much, but I do know her power isn't demonic." Sam's eyes met his brothers, "She can see the influence of demons, see the possessed and understand the truth." Sam rubbed at the back of his neck, "At least that's what I think it means, but I'm not sure, because that part actually was fuzzy. For some reason, and this is more a feeling, I think she was supposed to find us…like it was meant to be."

"Damn…you know how I feel about the faith crap, Sammy." Dean tipped his beer and finished it in one long swallow. He brought his eyes back to his brother's face, "You want me to believe some higher power gave Logan some kind of ability to see evil and discern its motive and then dropped her in our lap? Why now? Why not before mom was killed, or dad made his deal…or hell I made mine?"

Dean stood and walked to the kitchen, "I don't buy that Sam, because if someone has the ability to manipulate things that much, why not throw us a bone? Hell, why not just step in and fix things?" Dean threw his empty bottle abruptly into the trashcan, the sound of shattering glass ringing in the room. He carded his hand through his hair in frustration.

Dean had suddenly had enough. He didn't want to talk about whys and what ifs with his brother. He didn't want to contemplate fate and faith and why they intersected or how they fit together. Again, he was angry and he was sick of watching people he cared about get hurt. Hell, he was even sick of watching strangers get caught up in things. He thought of girl, now dead because she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He thought of the kid, and hoped that somehow he'd be all right, but knew that seeing what he'd seen had changed him.

He pushed away from the counter, "Shit, I'm tired, Sam. I'm going to check the windows and doors, then go to bed." Dean motioned toward the fireplace, "Better run a half-circle of salt on the hearth. Don't want anything coming down the chimney."

Sam saw the emotion and anger make its way across his brother's, ever expressive, face, and knew what was going through his mind. He nodded and stood, "Dean." When Dean turned he continued, "I know you don't believe it, but everything happens for a reason. Everything."

Dean sighed, "Yeah, whatever, just run the salt line will you."

Dean ran a new salt line across the threshold of the door and then the four windows in the main room. He climbed the stairs into the loft and was reassured to see the unbroken line of salt on the sill. As he climbed down, he noticed that Sam had laid the salt along the hearth and was now reclining on the couch.

Dean left him and made his way into the bedroom. Kate was chatting about something with a sleepy Logan as she cut a piece of tape and placed it on over the gauze on Logan's side.

Logan saw him and smiled at him, making Kate stop her chatting and turn. She pressed the tape gently and stood. "Hey, I got the bleeding stopped." She held up one of the unopened foil packets, "Didn't need this one, I think she'll be okay now." Kate glanced back at Logan, "She won't take any more Vicodin," Kate's eyes briefly went to Logan and she gave her a half-stern glare, "but she did take four Motrin."

Kate shrugged and walked toward the door, pausing beside Dean. She looked up at him and gave him a shy smile, "What you told her…" she paused and caught his eye, "…it meant a lot to her, thank you." Kate leaned up and kissed Dean lightly on the cheek. She turned toward the bed, "Get some sleep," and then turning back to Dean, "You too." Then she left, pulling the door closed behind her.

**_I know not much action, just some talk...but people do that you know. Next chapter...hmm, maybe I'll heat things up for everyone, since I keep hearing that's what you all want ;) _**

**_As always this is where I shamlessly ask for you compliments (though honestly, criticism is fine too) so consider yourselves asked..._**


	38. I Heard a Rumor

**_Hope you enjoy..._**

Kate headed back into the living room, pausing in the kitchen to fill a glass with water and take a long drink. She found Sam on the couch, one leg on the floor, one stretched across the couch. Sam had his eyes closed and a nearly empty beer bottle grasped in his hand while it rested on his chest.

He must have heard her, because he opened an eye and smiled. "Hey, wanna sit?" He asked, leaning over to put his bottle on the coffee table and shifting so there was more room.

Kate smiled, took off her glasses and put them beside Sam's bottled. She sat between his legs, facing him, before leaning her cheek against his chest.

Sam's arms went around her waist and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, "You doing all right?"

He felt Kate shrug against his chest, "Don't know what all right is just now. Things are totally screwed up." She lifted her head so she could see Sam's face, "Yesterday I didn't believe in ghosts. Now I know not only are they real, but so are demons and hell…" She shifted so she could see Sam's face, "I don't suppose Bigfoot, vampires and werewolves are just fairy tales are they?" She watched Sam's face and head motion confirm they weren't and she sighed. The tears prickling her eyes surprising her, "So, I'll have to work at redefining all right."

Kate wiped her eyes even as Sam pulled her against him in a hug.

His quiet, "Shhs" whispered against her hair, "I'm sorry, Kate. I wish you never got involved in any of this, hell I wish I'd never gotten involved, but fate has a way of doing its own thing."

Kate pulled herself together, head resting on Sam's chest, "How did you two end up doing this?"

"That's a long story, but the short version is that my mom was killed by a demon, actually it was the demon from the watchtower. My father swore revenge and ended up dragging Dean and me across the country hunting the thing. Dean was four when Mom died, but I wasn't even a year old. I never really had a normal childhood. Dad raised us, really though Dean raised me, Dad just trained us and moved us around a lot." Sam shrugged, "Never knew anything different, really. I tried for normal, went to college and was heading to law school when that demon bastard killed my girlfriend." Sam grew quiet.

Kate's voice prompted him, "You loved her, didn't you?"

Sam stared into the fire, "I wanted to marry her." Sam took a long breath, "It wasn't until then that understood why my dad did what he did." He looked back at Kate, "I wanted revenge, needed it. I needed to see that bastard die. That's when I started hunting fulltime. Dean had been doing it since before I left for college, first with Dad and then sometimes by himself. Jessica died almost three years ago, been travelling with Dean ever since."

Kate sat up a bit, "I'm sorry."

Sam gave her a confused smile, "For what?"

"I'm sorry you never knew normal. I'm sorry you defined your childhood by where you were living and what your family was hunting. I'm sorry your brother, only four years older than you, had to take care of you. I'm sorry that you don't remember your mother…" She smiled and shook her head, "It's amazing really."

Again, Sam's smile was confused.

Kate gave a little giggle, "Amazing that you turned out like you did." She motioned up the hall, "Him, I understand now, but you?"

Kate paused and shook her head, "Well, even though you know about what really goes on in the dark, know it's real, and know it's dangerous. Even though you fight it and kill it, hoping it doesn't kill you first. Even though you've lost more to violence in twenty-five years than most people lose in a lifetime you still give a damn. You still smile. You still hope for something better." Kate brushed at a stay tear, "You still let people in."

Sam pulled her against him, and almost violently kissed her. Adrenaline and relief from the hunt adding an edge to his hunger. He needed her, needed her in a way he hadn't needed a woman, or anyone, in a long time. Sure, he'd needed the physical release before, but this was different. He wanted to connect with another person, someone who understood.

Kate kissed him back with equal abandon, not caring that her lips felt bruised or that the bites were pushing the limit toward pain. She heard Sam growl as he twisted his hand into her hair. She whimpered in response, her hands pulling at his shoulders while she shifted to press against his groin.

Sam released her mouth with a desperate groan, "Kate, god…I need you." His voice heavy, needy and it sent a current of fire to Kate's center. Sam thrust back against her and watched as her eyes drifted shut and then open, "Need you so bad…"

Kate pulled back, grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head. She hadn't bothered with a bra, and when her breast came into view she heard Sam's moan.

Sam pulled Kate forward, his hand on her left breast and his mouth to her right. He felt her struggle as her hands tangled in the sleeves of the t-shirt. Sam's teeth scored across her nipples, biting and pulling.

Kate gasped as painful pleasure swirled down into her belly, "Sam…oh…that…" Kate threw her head back, her entangled hands holding her up, pressing behind Sam's head on the arm of the couch. She arched into his mouth wanting and needing more.

Sam's tongue tasted and teased as his teeth demanded. His hands slid behind Kate's back and he shifted, pulling his mouth from her breasts. He knelt, his mouth moving upward to her collarbone and her neck, nipping and tasting as he went. He found her mouth again and tried to slow his pace, but Kate's need gave him no room to pause.

Her tongue battled with his as her hands, finally freed from her sleeves, found their way into his hair. She tugged his hair and massaged her fingers through it, her hands moving down and gathering handfuls of his t-shirt as she pulled it up. Dragging it over his shoulders, she pulled back from his lips only long enough to pull it over his head.

Her mouth was back to his as soon as the shirt was gone. Her hands finding the skin of his chest, her nails scoring his nipples and moving lower. His jeans were zippered, but unbuttoned and she smiled against his lips, then pulled back to look at him.

Sam panted through swollen lips, and his eyes were heavy with desire. Kate rubbed a finger from each hand across his nipples, and watched him gasp and shift as she let her fingers drift lower.

"Don't know why, but a man in unbuttoned jeans makes me so hot…" her fingers traced along the top of his waistband, to his zipper. She traced a finger down his zipper and traced him through the denim.

Sam grabbed her hand and pulled her against him, rolling so she beneath him, "Not time to play…" he ground out pressing kisses down her chest to the top of the yoga pants, sitting low on her hips. He smiled and gripped the sides. In one long pull, he had them off and tossed to the floor, taking her panties with them. He smiled and ran a hand up Kate's thigh. His fingers brushed the curls along her slit, avoiding her clit and she shivered and moved toward him. He shook his head and stood to remove his jeans.

He stood, his hand on his zipper then suddenly glanced up into the loft, and back at Kate. "Damn…" He bent and kissed her thoroughly before pulling back, "Hold that thought…"

Kate scooted back, resting her head on the couch and watched Sam hurry up the stairs to the loft. Her soft groan following him, "I appreciate your concern for our health, but dammit Sam, it's annoying."

Sam chuckled. He stood in the loft and glanced down at her as his hands dug through his pack.

Kate saw him watching and her hands drifted down her body, pausing to tweak her nipples and then graze lightly over her belly to her curls. She stopped, hand poised over herself and she glanced up and caught his eyes.

He continued his surveillance, hands buried in his pack, but unmoving.

It was then that Kate smiled seductively and touched herself.

Sam's breath caught in his throat and suddenly everything centered on his cock. He couldn't imagine anything sexier than right now. He watched as Kate spread her legs and teased a finger across her clit before slipping it inside. He heard her small groan and saw her lift her hips into her hand and he almost forgot his mission and flew back down the stairs, but instead he cursed and continued to fumble through his pack. The entire time his eyes watched Kate please herself, while he listened to her small gasps of pleasure. Sam's hand finally wrapped around the box he'd been digging for and he pulled out a condom, then all but fell down the stairs in his hurry to get back to the couch.

Kate watched as he arrived, her eyes heavy and her fingers never stopping. When Sam began pulling off his jeans, she moaned appreciatively and redoubled her efforts. Her eyes drifted shut, her body tense and her breathing coming in uneven gasps, as her fingers moved over her wetness.

Suddenly, Sam was on her. His mouth on hers, his hands teasing her nipples and she felt herself rounding the bend. When he abruptly pushed a finger inside her, he felt her thrust up against him and cry out into his mouth coming around his finger.

Sam smiled against her mouth, kissing down her throat to her breasts. His finger still teasing, moving gently in and out, grazing that spot deep inside that had her moving against his hand again, not letting her come completely down, but not pushing her too fast.

Her hands found his hair and she moaned deep in her throat as his mouth teased her nipples. She shivered when he looked up from his downward path.

His throaty whisper sending shivers up and down her body, "You're so beautiful when you come." Sam removed his hand, lifting Kate he sat on the couch, settling her on his lap. He buried his face in her neck and breathed in the scent that was only hers. Brushing her hair over her shoulders, Sam looked up at Kate and smiled.

Kate pulled the condom from Sam's hand and opened it with her teeth before stroking Sam's cock slowly.

His head fell back on the couch and his breath left him in a long hiss between clenched teeth. Sam opened his eyes when he felt Kate unroll the condom and move over him. Sam gripped her hips, guiding her down as she held on to his shoulders.

Kate paused, just as the head of his cock slipped inside and she watched Sam's eyes; watched the pleasure take him as she slowly lowered herself completely. Kate's eyes drifted shut and her head fell back. She bit her lip, "Oh, god…" and she began to move.

Sam let her find her rhythm and when she rolled her hips, he couldn't help but groan. He pulled her head down to his and kissed her, teasing her lips as his hand teased her nipples then darted lower to press against her clit.

Kate's fingers flexed into Sam's shoulders and when his thumb pressed against her clit again, she recklessly threw her head back. Small sounds of pleasure rang through the room with each thrust and she began to move more desperately against him.

Sam couldn't help but smile in satisfaction and the hand at her breast travelled up to her neck. He could feel her pulse pounding beneath his splayed fingers, "You are…so damn sexy…" His thumb brushed against her jaw and he tipped her face toward his. He watched her eyes open, her pupils large and her eyes dark with need. Sam drove upward, moving achingly deeper, pushing himself closer.

Kate slid against him, moving with him, becoming more desperate as the delicious pressure built. Her mouth found his thumb and she teased it with her tongue; pulling it into her mouth.

Sam's frustrated groan rang through the room and he pulled Kate against him like a starved man. He moved his mouth over hers and his tongue slid into her willing mouth, tangling and fighting against hers. His hand drifted into her hair as he slanted her head to deepen the kiss. He continued to thrust up against her and he felt her tense, knew she was close. The fingers of his other hand sweeping against her, dragging her closer.

Sam felt himself tighten, knew he was close. He pulled his mouth from Kate's, kissing along her jaw. Need laced his words with tension, "Come with me, baby…please." He ground out against her neck, pounding upward.

Kate gasped and her pace quickened. Her arms wrapped around Sam's back, nails digging little furrows and drawing blood. Kate threw her head back forcefully, her hips rolling with Sam's hips. Kate moved her fingers into Sam's hair, pulling his head from her neck and watching his eyes.

Sam's eyes opened and he gasped as Kate's eyes met his. He saw his own need reflected back at him. He moved his hand recklessly against her and felt her tense, hovering.

Kate's movement became desperate, as she held her hands on either side of Sam's face. She tensed and moved against him, surprised at how powerful she felt. One more roll of her hips, one more stroke of his fingers and she flew. A low keening moan filling the room, but her eyes remained locked with Sam's eyes.

Sam stared in wonder as she came for him, clenching around him pulling him with her. He moaned into the room, pushing up against as he came, deep inside her. He gasped at what he saw in her eyes, her lust, her fulfillment, her sudden vulnerability and it struck him that she was seeing the same in his eyes. He thrust slowly against her, drawing out their pleasure, until she collapsed against him.

Kate's head fell to his shoulder and she sat gasping for breath, even as her body continued to contract around Sam sending small shockwaves of pleasure up her spine. Sweat made her hair stick to both of them, but she ignored it. She sat there for several long seconds, letting her heart rate slow, letting Sam's hands gently stroke her sides and down her back. She only moved when Sam did.

Sam lifted her from his lap and snuggled her beside him on the couch. He dropped the condom to the floor and pulled Kate up against his chest as he stretched out on the couch.

She rested her head on his chest and pressed small kisses where she lay. Her fingers lazily drawing circles around his nipple as she watched his face through hooded eyes.

Sam brushed hair from her face and his hands pulled her gently up his chest so he could reach her mouth. He used his lips to communicate his satisfaction with lazy sweeps of his tongue and sighed when their lips parted, "God, Kate that was…I don't know… completely amazing, barely covers it."

Kate lifted her head and smiled down at him as she brushed her fingertips across his lips. "I could stare at you all day, you know."

Sam chuckled and tucked a stubborn piece of hair back behind her ear, "I never knew you ladies were so visual."

Kate grinned and shook her head, "That's just what we want you guys to think."

Sam raised an eyebrow, "Really, you should know I appreciate being appreciated." Sam grinned back at Kate.

Kate rolled her eyes, but kept smiling, "I bet you do."

Sam glanced around the room, but didn't make any indication to move. "You know we might want to head up to the loft."

"Why? Afraid your older brother is going to catch you all post-coital on the couch?" Kate's eyes sparkled with mischief.

Sam snickered, and pulled back so he could see Kate's face better, "You really have a thing for public places don't you? First, I have to drag you from the lobby and now you want to stay in the living room," Sam's eyes darted to the hall, "He'd never let me live it down. Besides, he already thinks your hot…I'm not about to give him any more to fantasize about."

Kate sat up, her eyes suddenly wide, "Dean thinks I'm hot? Really?" Kate's tone was teasing and she smiled when she saw Sam's half-angry frown. She leaned forward and kissed him. "Calm down, I already told you I like my men tall, handsome and corrupt."

Sam smiled back at her and landed a loud slap across Kate's ass. "You better."

Kate yelped and rubbed at her bottom, but her smile was wide as she moved against him, "Mmm…Better not start something you can't finish."

Sam's eyebrows shot up and he moved his hips, pressing his obviously interested cock against Kate, "Still think I can't follow through?"

Kate's hand slid between them. She ran her hand up and down his length and smiled.

Sam didn't like the ornery glint in her eyes.

"Oh…I don't know. I've heard the rumors." Kate's hand teased along the underside of Sam's cock and her fingers gently stroked his balls.

Sam's breath caught in his throat and his eyes went wide, "Not true…thought we already established that…shit, that feels good."

Sam's gasp made Kate smile and she slid to the floor shaking her head as she knelt beside the couch, "Nope, there's a new one." She watched Sam's face then bent her head over him and exhaled.

Sam shivered and shifted his hips upward. His voice strained he managed to gasp out, "What?"

Kate's mouth closed over him and her tongue sweeping the underside of his cock. She hollowed her cheeks and sucked on the upward stroke releasing him with an audible, pop. Her hand replaced her mouth and she watched him watch her in fascination.

"Rumor has it you and your lover had a quarrel. I heard from a reliable source that it wasn't pretty either, what with the yelling and the pushing and the punching." Kate's hand moved slowly up and down and she paused to run her tongue along the tip.

Sam had a death grip on the couch and his body was tense as he watched Kate's teasing hands and mouth. It was getting harder to pay attention to her words, or to form coherent thoughts about what she said, but he managed, "Ah…what the…god, Kate…hell are you…shit, don't stop…talking about? We never…yes, feels good…fought…never hit…you…baby."

Kate paused and waited for Sam to regain awareness. When he finally looked up at her, confusion on his face she sat back and smiled, "It seems Sam that your lover and you share a cabin." Her eyebrow rose.

Sam, whose mind was mostly on his throbbing cock, still wasn't able to follow her train of thought, "Logan? Kate, I don't hit women."

Kate full out laughed, her shoulder shaking with it, "Not Logan idiot. Seems you like boys…you and Dean had a lover's spat earlier. You yelled, he punched then you hugged like fools…least that's what the rumor says." Kate eyed Sam's now, shrinking cock, her eyebrow shot up and she motioned to it, "Maybe their right? Should I call for your brother, maybe he can give you a hand?" Kate couldn't help but tease him.

Sam frowned. It wouldn't be the first time people thought Dean and him were a couple. He laughed because Kate was having fun with it and her laughter was contagious. He grabbed her and pulled her against him, "You think that's funny do you?"

Kate nodded, still giggling.

"Guess I'll need to prove to you again, just how much I like women." He kissed Kate's cheek, "Once wasn't enough then?"

Kate shook her head, "No. Once definitely wasn't..." Kate paused and gave Sam a bratty smile, "…because you know seven seconds just isn't long enough."

Kate took off for the loft as fast as she could, making it up the second step before Sam's long legs caught up.

Sam's hand slapped her sharply across the ass, "You know, you are asking for it in the worst way."

Kate turned from her step and looked eye to eye at Sam. She cocked her head to the side and bit a finger as she dropped her gaze to the floor, "Oh, Mister Winchester…I've been a very bad girl."

Then she turned and ran up the stairs, Sam a step behind her.

**_Thanks to everyone for reviewing...by now you should know what to do, but if you don't...feed the muse._**


	39. Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

**_Short Dean/Logan chapter..._**

Dean watched Kate leave and then turned to the bed when the door closed quietly behind her. Logan lay curled on her right side, head resting on a pillow. Exhaustion and pain were clear on her face and Dean crossed the room sinking onto the bed beside her.

Suddenly, Dean felt uncomfortable and nervous, "If you're hurting you should take something stronger than Motrin, especially while we have it."

Logan sighed and pursed her lips, "It's not that bad. I'm just tired. I'll feel better after I get some sleep." She watched as Dean nodded absently.

"You should do that…sleep I mean." His voice quiet and soothing as he pushed bangs out of Logan's eyes.

"I'm planning on it just as soon as you turn off the light and get into bed." Logan wiggled toward the right side of the bed, making more room.

Dean shook his head, "You need your rest. I can sleep on the couch."

Logan's eyes rolled, "Yeah, I'm sure Sam and Kate will enjoy having you on the couch not fifteen feet from their bed."

Dean's jaw dropped, "You think Sammy's going to get it on with Kate? In the loft, even if I'm in here?" He shook his head, "Never happen."

Logan rolled gingerly to her back, "Why is it you think your brother is incapable of charming a woman into his bed?" Her eyebrow rose in challenge, "What, you don't think Kate'll have anything to say about it?" A small huff and then, "Give me a break, that girl wants him so bad she'd do him on the kitchen floor while we ate breakfast at the counter and she wouldn't bat an eye about it."

Dean laughed, "Sam wouldn't be in to that kind of girl…definitely more my type." Dean dropped to his side, rested his head on his hand, and looked down at Logan with a raised eyebrow.

She shook her head, "Oh, no…don't go looking at me. I'm into all kinds of things, but exhibitionism isn't one of 'em."

"All kinds of things?" Dean's smile widened and he ran a finger lightly down Kate's cheek, "Care to share what those might be?"

"Hey, a girl's gotta' keep a few things secret." Logan smiled and shook her head, "You're just going to have to find out for yourself."

Dean smiled back, and moved closer to Logan. He stared down at her face, "Yeah, I supposed," he sighed, "but it's not going to be tonight. Tonight you need to sleep."

Logan savored the heat of Dean's body and rolled back onto her right side so she could snuggle back against him. She heard his low chuckle in her ear as she yawned, "I'm too tired anyway, but that doesn't mean you can't hold me."

Dean's breath brushed against Logan's ear, stirring her hair. His voice was low, "Last time I held you while you slept you about killed me. I'm pretty sure I rebuilt the Impala's engine twice, the transmission once and then started on Bobby's tow truck before finally falling asleep." His fingers tucked the hair behind her ear and he kissed her cheek, "I was so hard I thought I was going to explode."

"What about now?" Logan wiggled her bottom against Dean's groin, "How hard are you now?"

Dean's hand clamped down on her hip as he growled, "Sit still woman." He closed his eyes and grit his teeth, "Damn, you'd test a saint…and baby I'm no saint."

"Don't I know it." Logan teased back, but kept her bottom still, "I'm just playing," she yawned, "really am too tired."

Dean gently draped an arm around her and pulled her back against his chest, "I know baby." He kissed her temple, "Go to sleep."

"Hmm," Logan pulled his hand against her chest, "You're still dressed."

Dean smiled against her hair, "Well, you'd have to let me go first."

Logan let go of his hand, "Hurry, you're comfy."

Dean laughed quietly, stood stripped off his jeans, and then turned off the light. He settled himself in the bed, tucked a pillow under his head and pulled Logan back against him. "S'that better?"

Logan nodded against his chest, "Mm-hm, much." She ran one foot up and back down the inside of Dean's calf before settling it between his feet. "You're warm."

Dean hissed at the abrupt temperature change against his skin, "Not really, your feet are solid ice." He rubbed her foot between both of his, "Damn, ever think of wearing socks?"

Logan's elbow was suddenly in Dean's ribs, "Hey, you picked out my clothes…remember?"

"No." Dean pulled the comforter up over the both of them, "I picked out your underwear. You're still not wearing clothes."

Logan snuggled into the warmth of the blanket and pulled it up to her chin, "My point exactly." She said slowly, her voice thin as exhaustion overtook her. "You only gave me underwear…typical."

"Typical? What's that supposed to mean?" Dean's hands ran up and down Logan's arm, warming her.

"You know…" Logan yawned, "You guys always want to see us girls in our underwear."

Dean pulled Logan closer and tucked her head beneath his chin, "Not always." His hand snaked under her arm and around her so that he could hold her and still keep clear of her wound. "Honestly, we prefer you naked."

Logan mumbled something and pulled Dean's hand up to her lips, brushing them lightly across his knuckles.

Dean felt as Logan melted against him. Her body relaxing into the bed and her deep, even breaths indicating she'd fallen asleep. He hugged her close for a second and kissed her head before allowing himself to relax. "Sleep safe, baby." Dean whispered into her hair as he let his thoughts drift.

Dean smiled just as he fell asleep. There was something incredibly comforting about falling asleep with another person wrapped in your arms.

**_Hey, if you liked it let me know, if you didn't you can tell me that too :)_**

**_Hope to have a new chapter up soon._**


	40. Regard Your Name as The Richest Jewel

_Later..._

Logan woke with a start. Her heart racing and her breath caught in her throat. She lay on her side, listening. Quiet, too quiet. She couldn't hear anything. Her eyes scanned the darkness and she saw nothing, but the outline of the furniture along the walls. Slowly, she slid a hand across the sheet, reaching for Dean and she felt instant relief when she encountered a warm arm.

Dean mumbled something in his sleep and rolled toward her, slinging an arm across her chest and she smiled when his hand landed on her breast. Still on her side, she snuggled back into him and sighed as the fear faded.

The hand on her breast moved, teasing her nipple and she grasped it with her hand, still too tired to be interested, but the hand insisted and pulled at her breast almost harshly.

"Dean!" Logan hissed irritably, "Stop it." She pushed at the hand and it lifted only to grasp her throat.

The fingers digging in roughly, making it suddenly difficult, but not impossible, to breathe. She grasped the hand with both of hers and pulled as small gasped; begging sounds came from her throat.

"Plea…what…Dean…stop…wha…" Panic rose, oh god not again. Her struggle becoming more frantic as the pressure increased. The tears in her eyes made her limited vision waver until she stopped panicking and formulated a plan.

She allowed her body to go limp, but the pressure on her throat increased. She was about to renew her efforts when the hand relaxed against her throat. She drew in slow, deep breaths but otherwise stayed still. Hands gripped her shoulders and rolled her roughly to her back. Her head lolled weakly onto her shoulder but her eyes remained closed.

Strong arms shook her shoulders then suddenly there was a sharp slap across her cheek. Logan's hand rose to her face and her eyes flew open.

Blue eyes met yellow, "Mornin' baby." Finn's full lips and high cheekbones swam into view, "Told you I was planning on having some more fun and little sister you were built for fun."

Logan stared, wide eyed and shook her head, "You are dead." Logan pushed her hands up against his chest as he leered down at her, "I watched Bobby kill you and then…the ghost...we destroyed it."

Finn's eyebrow shot up, "Did you now." He cocked his head to the side, "You sure about that?"

Logan swallowed, trying to make sense of what was going on. Tears of fear were on her cheeks and her side ached. She closed her eyes and did what she'd done ever since she was a child and afraid of something at night, "Our Father, who art in heaven…"

Laughter and the hand on her throat made her stop. Logan's eyes flew open and she watched Finn laugh over her.

He cocked his head, "Come on, sis…you really think that's going to work?" Finn's hand ran down her body and his fingers curled into her left side, just below her breast, pressing into the painful wound. When he heard Logan's strangled scream he threw his head back and laughed. He bent his head to her ear and spoke softly.

"Shh, listen to me sis. Listen, now, because you sure as hell didn't listen last time." When Logan moaned and rolled her head away from his mouth, he pressed into her wound even more harshly.

Logan arched, trying to find relief from the burning pain. Gasping, "Please…stop…god, please…Finley…please."

Finn smiled against his sister's ear, "Shh, listen and I'll be nice."

Logan gasped, and tried to stop moving and Finn rewarded her by lessening the pressure and letting the pain drop to a more manageable level.

"You ready to listen now?" Finn pulled back to look down at his sister and then removed the hand from her throat. "It's important, Logan."

Logan took a deep breath and nodded, staring up at her older brother. His beautiful face contorted in hatred and something darker. His brown eyes replaced with eerie yellow ones.

"Good, but remember," Finn said and applied a bit more pressure to her side making Logan gasp, "I can still hurt you."

Logan moaned, but nodded again.

Finn lowered his head to hers, "Logan, tell me your full name…tell me." Finn bit roughly at Logan's ear, and when she didn't answer fast enough he began to press slowly into her side.

Logan gasped, "Please…Shane Logan Anam McCree." She felt Finn nod against her ear.

The pressure on the wound lessened, "Yes, Shane Logan Anam McCree." Finn's fingers brushed Logan's chin almost gently. "You remember what Mom told you it meant?"

Logan nodded.

Finn raised his hand and Logan cringed, "Tell me, Logan, what does your name mean?"

Logan cleared her throat, her voice shaky when she answered, "It means ancient hollow soul."

Finn pulled back and yellow eyes caught dark blue, "Yes, add McCree and you are a beloved, ancient, hollow soul and my name Logan, what is it?"

"Finley Addis Bas McCree." Logan gasped, things suddenly becoming clear, "Fair-haired warrior of fire and death."

Finn nodded, "They knew Logan, all along they knew. Knew what would happen, maybe even when. Remember what I told you back then…when I made you watch us hurt our mother? Remember what your name really means…think about it, what is it…what were our parents telling you? What were they telling us?"

Finn's hand suddenly pressed against Logan's forehead and pain sliced through her head. Visions and echoes from the past, impossible things she somehow knew, but forgot. It was still unclear, but she saw the ritual her parents started. She saw the prayer, blood, and sex. Logan knew it was the night her brother was conceived. Then she saw years later, something similar, but not quite the same. Saw the light slip into her father and then the ritual and she knew, with a quiet certainty; it was the night her own life began.

The images swirled and moved briskly, barely giving her time to catch her breath. Two names were suddenly in her head: Vetis and Iaoth.

Logan's eyes flew open and realizing the pressure on her chest was gone, she suddenly sat up. Her breath coming in short gasps as tears fell, once again, down her face.

Dean was immediately beside her, knife in hand, he was tense and ready to attack. He pulled Logan against his side even while his eyes scanned the room quickly before he turned to assess the woman beside him, "Logan, what? You alright?"

Logan collapsed against Dean's side and struggled to control her breathing while wiping at her face. She nodded against his chest. "Nightmare, I think."

Dean lowered the knife and tucked it back under his pillow before lying back down. He pulled Logan gently across his chest and smoothed the hair from her face, "You wanna' talk about it?"

Logan hiccupped, "I don't know what it meant, but it felt real."

Logan fingered the wound at her side, realizing it was throbbing more than it had before. She pulled herself from Dean's arms and sat up. She reached over and flipped on the light so she could see.

Dean blinked in the sudden bright light and then stared at Logan's side.

Logan gasped and lightly fingered the bandaged, trying to make sense of what she saw.

Her wide eyes found Dean's own and she shook her head, "My god…"

"Logan?" Dean looked around the room and then back at her face.

A bloody print of four fingers was on the bandage and small wells of blood were evident over the deeper areas of the wound. Logan was shaking when she looked up at Dean, her eyes filled, again, with pain and fear.

Dean reached over and gently pulled at the tape holding the bandage to her side, removing the bloody gauze with it. What he saw made his jaw drop.

The wound was gone. The skin almost flawless, with the exception of the rune that now graced the area in its place.

**_OK, so what did you think? You know the drill, let me know. Thanks to everyone for your reviews...you keep my muse smiling and inspired :)_**

**_The title is from a quote by Socrates:_**

Regard your good name as the richest jewel you can possibly be possessed of - for credit is like fire; when once you have kindled it you may easily preserve it, but if you once extinguish it, you will find it an arduous task to rekindle it again. The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear. 


	41. Early Morning Coffee

Dean stood in the kitchen and dumped coffee straight from the can into the coffee maker before adding water and flipping on the machine. He stood, leaning against the counter and tapped his fingers loudly in agitation against its Formica top to the rhythm of Ted Nugent's Cat Scratch Fever as he sang the lyrics in his head. "I went and see the doctor and He gave me the cure I think I got it some more they give me…" Dean's fingers continued their tapping and he forcefully hummed the next line, "cat scratch fever…"

"Shut up, jerk." Sam's drowsy voice whined from the loft, "It's too early."

Dean pushed away from the counter and moved toward the open stairs of the loft, "Bout time. I was just about to start singing. I need to talk to you so get up…bitch."

"Seriously, Dean, what the hell time is it?" Sam asked, his head appearing over the half-wall that overlooked the living and kitchen area.

Dean knew he was still in bed, since the head of the bed was against that wall, "Come on, sleeping beauty." Dean motioned toward the kitchen, "I've even made coffee."

Sam frowned, "Hell, it's only six." Sam ran his hand through his hair and rubbed at the back of his neck. "Can't it wait until at least nine?" Sam turned and said something quiet to Kate and shook his head and then his head appeared back over the wall. He sighed and glared at his brother. "Fine, be down in a minute."

Dean watched as Sam stood and then turned his back when he realized his brother was naked. He shook his head in disbelief, pulled two mugs from the cabinet and filled them with coffee from the carafe that was under the still dripping machine. He replaced the pot and headed into the living area.

Dean paid little attention as he sank onto the couch and put the mugs on the table in front of him, though he did have to push an almost empty beer bottle and Kate's glasses aside. Dean threw his arm over the back of the couch, his hand landing on something he pulled it from the back of the couch and then laughed.

Sam was just coming down the steps and Dean couldn't help himself. He threw the thing in his hand at his brother's head, "Hey, catch bro."

Sam jumped as the thing flew at his head and grabbed it with his left hand, "What the hell…" Sam stammered. Looking down he realized he was now holding Kate's thong. Sam felt himself blush and then he glared at his brother, "There is seriously something wrong with you. You know that don't you?"

Dean smiled and winked at his brother, "Me? I wasn't the one flinging my date's unmentionables around the room, now was I?" Dean leaned forward and finally took in the other articles of clothing around the room.

"Damn. Way to go Sammy! You do know I was going to sleep on this couch last night." Dean picked up a mug from the coffee table and took a sip, making a face at how strong it was. He shrugged and took another sip before he continued, "Good thing I didn't huh?"

Dean paused and sat back, his coffee cup halfway to his lips. He smiled over the top, "on second thought, that might have been fun…catching you two out here, woulda' been hilarious." He sipped his coffee, "You do have a wild streak don't you?"

Sam moved about the room angrily grabbing articles of clothing from the floor and furniture while glaring at his brother. When he'd managed to gather up all the clothing, he ran them up the steps and gave Kate her clothes.

He returned to the living room just as Dean was bending down to figure out what was sticking to his left foot. Sam thought about warning him, but shrugged; served him right. Instead, he picked up his coffee and sat in the recliner, to watch his brother.

Dean's hand returned to from the floor with a condom dangling between his thumb and index finger. When he realized what it was, he made a face and stood, dropping it back to the floor, "God, Sam that's disgusting."

Dean hurried into the kitchen, turned the hot water on, and scrubbed at his hand with the green pot scrubber in the sink. "Gross, do we have any bleach in here?" He asked over his shoulder.

Sam was laughing, even as he bent to pick the condom from the floor and walk to the kitchen to throw it away. "What's the big deal? I've found yours in the back of the Impala, on the floor, hanging half-in/half-out of the toilet, hell there was even that one time you stuffed two into my pack because you were too drunk to realize it wasn't your duffle."

Sam cocked his head and chuckled, "I remember you telling me, 'Dude, same freakin' DNA, get over it Sammy and you should be thankful cause that's the closest you're gonna get to anything as hot as…as…well whatever he name was, she was hot.'"

Dean dried his hands and shook his head, "Yeah, well I was wrong, because that is dirty, filthy and absolutely nasty." Dean shuddered and headed back to the living room. He turned toward his brother, "Please tell me you didn't get freaky on the chair too."

Sam glared and then cocked his head and tapped a finger to his lips, "Hmm, it's a little hard to remember, what with the couch, floor, counter, stairs, against the refrigerator…"

"What'd you do, reenact every scene from 9 ½ weeks?" Dean asked, bending to look at the recliner then picking up his coffee and sitting down, "Next time, get a room."

Sam laughed, "Come on. I've been sound asleep only to have you stumble into our SHARED hotel room with some local barfly." Sam leveled his gaze on his brother, as he sat on the couch. "Dude, do you realize how wrong it is to know the noises your own brother makes right before he…."

Dean raised a hand, "Don't say it, Sam…don't you dare cross that line."

Sam rolled his eyes, "Me? You're the one who constantly ignores that there even is a line and trust me, just because my back is turned doesn't mean my ears aren't working…so don't go talking to me about boundaries."

Dean glared, "Whatever, just clean up after yourself." Dean shuddered again and sipped his coffee.

Sam sighed, his brother was annoying and it wasn't going to change anytime soon, "Fine." He took a long sip of the bitter coffee and watched his bother. "Why'd you wake me at the butt-crack of dawn after a particularly grueling yesterday?"

Suddenly serious, Dean looked at Sam, "It's Logan. Something happened and," Dean paused and ran his hand through his hair in frustration as he set his mug on the hearth beside him, "shit, the wound on her side is gone. There's a tiny scar where it was, well that and the rune Uruz."

Sam paused, mug halfway to his lips, "Gone, what do you mean gone?" Sam set his own mug down on the table and leaned toward his brother, "Kate just patched it up last night. It was bleeding, it can't just be gone."

Dean rubbed at his forehead and then looked back at his brother, "Ya' think? Come on Sam, that's what I'm telling you. That's why I woke you up." He shook his head at his brother, "Last night it was there, hurting, bleeding and looking ugly, but then Logan has a nightmare and boom; thing's gone, tiny scar in its place and a fucking rune branded over the entire area."

"She had a nightmare, about what?" Sam watched confusion and irritation cloud his brother's green eyes.

Dean stood, "You should hear it from her." He turned to look at Sam, "I'll get her." Dean paused and turned toward the loft, "You might as well come down, I know you're awake."

Kate's head and shoulders popped up over the half-wall and she smiled, "Morning, Dean."

Dean scowled, "Yeah, it's morning alright..." Dean headed up the hall to the bedroom.

**_I should have another chapter up before the end of the day, but let me know what you think, because my muse wastes away when she doesn't hear anything ;)_**


	42. A Discussion and a Decision

The four of them gathered in the living area. Sam was on the couch, laptop opened on the coffee table as he scrolled through internet page after internet page looking for something helpful. Kate sat beside him nursing a cup of coffee. Logan sipped her tea from the recliner and watched as Dean paced the floor nervously, his frustration and helplessness obvious to everyone in the room.

Logan had recounted the dream, memories and what she thought it all meant. She'd answered several questions from Sam about what she'd seen. He'd even gotten up the nerve to ask her what Finn had said in her ear the day her family died. Most of it had been emotional torture, but she did recall him telling her to remember she was special and that things in the past had been done to hasten things in the future.

"He kept telling me that I needed to know and remember, but with everything that went on that day most of what he told me got lost." Logan sighed, "It's funny, there are things I don't want to ever remember, but they are stuck in my head and then things like this…" She shrugged.

Sam lifted his head from the screen of his computer, "Okay, so Vetis is some high and mighty demon who specializes in tempting and corrupting the holy and Iaoth is actually an archangel who has the power to kill demons."

Dean paused in his pacing, "First, angels don't exist and second, if they did wouldn't all the angels be able to kill demons?"

Sam glanced at his brother, "Dude, I know we've been through this before, but I still don't understand how you can buy into demons and not angels. According to the mythology, they both started out on the same side." Sam went back to scrolling through his Google results, "Why's it so hard to believe some went bad, while some stayed good?"

"Because, I've never seen an angel and no one up there seems to give a damn about what goes on down here, while everyone down there," Dean stamped his foot against the floor, "wants a piece of the action. Makes no sense and you still didn't answer my question about angels being able to kill demons."

Logan interrupted, "Look at it this way. Hell has factions right?" Logan waited until she saw Dean nod, "Each faction has a leader and followers, and I'm sure you'd agree that each one of those slimy motherfuckers has a job."

Dean nodded, "I can agree with that."

"Some are there to get in your way; some are there to screw with others. Some are great at lying, others are good with torture." She put her tea down and stood, "So if the demons arrange themselves that way, why wouldn't the angels?" Logan held up her hand when Dean began to protest, "I know you don't believe, but lets just pretend they are real for a minute."

Dean nodded reluctantly, "Fine. IF and it's a big if, angels exist I suppose they would probably organize themselves like the other side and if they did that then I guess some would be in charge of certain things…like killing the demons."

Logan picked up her mug and nodded while drinking, "Okay, so in my vision-mare…"

"Vision-mare?" Kate sounded confused.

Logan smiled and shook her head, "Some kind of a cross between vision and nightmare. Neither one fit so I made up a new term."

Kate nodded, "The whole thought about needing a word for something like that is a bit weird, but alright…vision-mare."

"So, this vision-mare showed me the past. I saw my parents perform two rituals, one for each child. I'm pretty sure they both were summonings, and my mother was very good at summonings so I'm sure she wouldn't have messed one up and called this Ventis by accident." Logan looked from person to person, eyes guarded.

Sam cleared his throat, "Which means they meant to summon him."

Logan nodded and crossed her arms over her chest. "What I really don't understand is why they would summon him for the ritual. I mean I knew my parents summoned demons for information, but this just doesn't make sense." Logan flopped petulantly back into the chair and curled a one leg beneath her. She was angry and frustrated by the lack of answers.

Kate cleared her throat and blushed slightly when everyone looked at her. She held up a hand, "I know I'm not really part of your group and I don't know anything about demons and stuff, but your brother wanted you to know that things were done in the past to hurry future events, right? If that's true then it sounds like there's some kind of prophecy they were working from." Kate shrugged, "Find the prophecy; find out what the hell he meant."

Sam smiled wide and leaned over to kiss Kate's cheek, "I knew there was a reason I liked you."

Kate blushed, "You know, I'm the total package; beautiful, intelligent and firearm trained." Kate's eyes swung to Dean and she smiled teasingly as she gave him the finger.

Sam laughed at Dean's response of puckering his lips at her and then typed more information into the search bar on the browser.

Dean sat on the hearth and turned to Sam, "You know Ruby was always going on about what was foretold and Azazel's verses Lilith's plans, so there might be something to it. If we can find the information, that is."

Sam sighed in frustration, "I have no idea where to start." He stood and walked to the kitchen returning with the coffee carafe. He refilled his mug, added some to the mug in Kate's hand and then returned it to the kitchen when Dean waved him off. "I'm calling Bobby. Maybe he'll have an idea."

Dean nodded as Sam moved off to make his call. He looked over to Kate. "So now what?"

Kate leaned forward and put her mug on the table. "Um, could anyone fill me in on the symbol that is apparently branded into Logan's side? I mean what does it mean, how'd it get there? Anything?"

Dean glanced to Logan and then back to Kate, "It's the rune Uruz. Traditionally it represented the force behind creation. In divination it is used to represent harmony, knowledge and magical strength, but the one branded on Logan's side is reversed." Dean shook his head, "When it's reversed it usually means there is a separation between self and an inner strength or power." Dean looked over to Logan and raised an eyebrow. When she shrugged he continued, "In spells, it can be used to heal, increase knowledge and most importantly to pull natural energy into patterns. It is used in one shape or another in almost all spells as a mechanism of transfer. It channels the chaotic energy into something useful; like an electrical transformer it breaks down the large charge into something more manageable and moves it in the right direction."

Kate sat for a minute, "Okay, so basically it could be there for any of those reasons, but really HOW did it get there?" Kate shook her head and shivered, "That nasty bite was there last night. I saw it." Kate looked over to Logan, "Then you have a dream about your possessed brother hurting you and when you wake up it's gone and that rune thing is in its place. It's all a bit confusing."

Logan finished her tea and moved to the couch. She sat beside Kate, "Hey, this stuff is always confusing. I've spent the last nine years confused as hell about why things happened the way they did, and I've learned that no matter what there is always a reason." Logan chuckled almost bitterly, "Well, I guess there really was a reason…since my parents were messing around with demons and prophesies. Hell, now if that doesn't just make my day."

Dean rubbed his forehead, something was bugging him, tickling at his thoughts and he couldn't figure out what it was. There was a clue in all this shit somewhere and it was pissing him off that he couldn't find it. Kate and Logan were chatting, but Dean wasn't really paying attention until Kate asked Logan why she went by her middle name. Dean lifted his head, and waited for the response.

Logan shrugged, "Don't really know, my parents just always called me Logan. There were only two times anyone ever used my full name, when I was in trouble and the first day of school."

Both women turned to look at Dean as he repeated, "Shane Logan Anam McCree, Shane Logan Anam McCree…ancient hollow soul, beloved ancient hollow soul, favored ancient hollow soul…" He rubbed at the back of his neck, "Shit there's something there, but I can't put my finger on it. Finley Addis Bas McCree, fair-haired warrior of fire and death…" Dean looked up at Logan, "What the hell is the significance?"

"Wish I knew, but that's what Finn was trying to get me to understand." Logan's head dropped onto the back of the couch and she yawned. "I'm hungry, and it's now," she looked into the kitchen at the clock on the microwave, "eight-thirty. I say we get some breakfast."

Dean nodded, "Sure, as soon as Sam's off the phone we'll head over to the lodge."

Kate glanced at Logan, "You want to walk with me over to my place? I'm, uh not really dressed for breakfast."

Logan smiled knowingly and nodded before glancing over at Dean who was still engrossed in his thoughts, "Hey, earth to Dean…"

Dean's eyes shot up, "What?"

Logan moved to the hearth, "I'm going to walk with Kate over to her apartment, she needs to change." Logan raised a brow in inquiry, "That okay with you?"

Dean smiled and nodded, "Thought you didn't need my permission? You know you're just reinforcing my inner caveman, right?"

Logan chuckled, "Yeah, but like I said…it's such a turn on, I can't help it." She turned to leave.

Dean stood and grabbed her arm, before she made it too far. When his eyes met hers, he gave her a thoughtful frown, "Be careful." When Logan began to protest he shook his head, "I'm serious, Logan…be careful."

Logan gave Dean a reassuring smile and nodded, "I will, boss. I have holy water and a knife in my jacket pocket and I do have my phone. I'll call you when we're ready to leave Kate's place and then we'll meet at the lodge. 'Kay?"

Dean nodded and released her arm.

Kate paused as she pulled her hat over her head, "I didn't tell Sam…"

"I won't let him panic. Besides, he's talking to Bobby…that may take awhile. See you at the lodge." Dean busied himself by picking up the mugs as the girls left. He carried them to the kitchen and rinsed them out before placing them on the drying rack. He listened as Sam walked back up the hall toward the kitchen, wrapping up his call.

"Yeah, I know…sure, she's fine, I promise…you already threatened that…shit, Bobby don't tell me that she's not in my bed…" Sam smiled and rolled his eyes, "yes I'll pass on the message, but it wasn't all Dean's…" Sam sighed, pulled the phone from his ear and even Dean could hear the old hunter cuss. When the voice paused, Sam returned the phone to his ear, "…when?...sure we'll wait then. See you in a couple…stay safe, Bye."

Sam flipped his phone closed and glanced into the living room. His face asking the question without words.

"They ran over to Kate's place so she could change. Why's Bobby coming out?" Dean asked as he dried his hands.

Sam sighed and rubbed at his eyes, "He says he might know something and he's glad Logan told us what happened. Says he's always suspected a few things and some of the things we've just learned actually confirm them." Sam looked over at Dean and laughed, "Told me to tell you that he already warned you about sleeping with Logan and that if you hurt her he was going to cut your balls off with that Bowie you keep under your pillow."

Dean nodded and smiled, "I think he'd be too late since I'm pretty damn sure Logan's more than capable of doing it herself."

"That she is." Sam chuckled, "So, I told Bobby we'd wait for him here. He's finishing up a hunt in Texas, but he can be here in two days." Sam's smile fell, "I guess that gives me a bit more time with Kate, so I should be happy."

Dean punched his brother lightly on the bicep, "She's good for you bro. When she's around you don't look like your about to put your favorite dog to sleep. I like her." Dean smiled and looked Sam in the eye, "Promise me something?"

Sam watched his eyes and nodded even as he thought, shit Dean's initiating a chick-flick moment. Sam sighed, wishing his brother wouldn't say whatever he was about to say, "What?"

"If we don't find a way to get me out of this deal," Sam interrupted and Dean shook his head, "Shut up and listen. If we don't and I'm not around, promise me that you won't do anything stupid, and you'll come back here and try to make a go of it with Kate."

"Dean, I…" Sam paused and watched his older brother's inner struggle. He felt he was being torn apart but he nodded, "Yeah, I'll do it."

Dean smiled and moved up the hall to the bedroom where he left his boots, "Good, the girls are gonna call when they're ready to leave Kate's apartment. We're meeting them for breakfast, so get your boots on Sammy. I'm starving!"

**_More fun, excitement and heck even Bobby coming in the next chapters._**

**_Tell me what you think!_**


	43. We All Hide Behind a Mask

**_Okay, there were two versions of this chapter...I really liked the one I didn't post better, but this one worked better with where I want the story to go. Again, not much action in this chapter, but plenty of interaction between the characters and by now you all know that the calm never lasts too long..._**

Kate and Logan ran by the lodge so Kate could pick up her mail. Kate left Logan leaning against the desk as she went back into the office. Logan surveyed the lobby. The early hour meant that there were very few people moving about. She saw a couple heading out to the slopes head out the door and a few housekeepers heading up the elevators with their cleaning carts.

A flash of movement caught her eye. She swung her head to the grand staircase just as a man in jeans and flannel turned to head up the stairs. His blonde hair just brushed his broad shoulders and her breath caught in her throat. A hand on her own shoulder made her jump.

"Hey, you okay?"

Logan held up her index finger as she glanced at Kate but when she turned back, the man was rounding the corner onto the next floor. He glanced down the steps, just as he moved out of view and Logan thought for just a second that smiled as he raised his hand. She took a shaky step toward the stairs, but paused at Kate's voice

"Logan? Hey, you look like you saw…"

Logan turned and interrupted, "…a ghost?" She shook her head and forced a laugh as she wrapped her arms around herself, "Now, I'm seeing things that can't be real." She raised her eyes to Kate's face, "I'm fine, just a little shook up from earlier and my brain is sort of in overdrive."

Kate gave her a concerned smile, "You sure you're okay?" She watched as Logan nodded and dropped her arms to her side, "We can always call Dean and Sam."

Logan shook her head, "No, I don't need them thinking I'm some silly girl whose afraid of things that aren't there." She grabbed Kate's hand and pulled her through the door, "So, come on and show me this apartment that Sam mentioned not less than four times." Logan rolled her eyes and giggled when Kate laughed.

"He must be easily impressed, because it really isn't anything big." Kate smiled and pulled her hand from Logan so she could zip her vest up.

Logan smiled back, "Sam has good taste, so I'm sure it's very nice. Now, if it had been Dean going on about it," Logan paused, "I would immediately envision beer signs on the wall and a pool table doubling as a dining table. There would have to be a huge TV, video games, a jukebox, you know the real ones that played vinyl and it would have a copy of every song from the glory days of metal. Oh, and how could I forget the king sized bed."

Kate laughed and lightly shoved at Logan's shoulder, "I guess you have your work cut out for you then."

Logan's smile fell a bit but she nodded and forced it back into place, "Yeah, guess I do."

Logan shivered as the wind picked up and she pulled her jacket closer against her and forced her hands into her pockets. "Brrr, that wind is nasty." Her eyes surveyed the overcast sky. "Think it'll snow?"

Kate looked up into the mountains and watched as the wind kicked the snow up and off the mountain. Then she watched it move in swirls around them. She cocked her head and inhaled deeply before she nodded, "Yes. I'd guess another storm's coming in and it could be pretty bad." She pointed up into the mountain, "My grandmother and great-grandmother always said that when the shadows of the great rocks can't be seen on the mountain it would snow, and if the wind blew the snow off the mountain in sheets there would be white outs." She shrugged, "They were usually right."

Logan nodded and realized they'd reached the skating rink. Sam was right. It was an ugly building. She followed Kate up the stairs and to the door.

Kate paused and then looked back at Logan, a puzzled look on her face. She pointed at an empty hook beside the door, "My Katchina mask is missing." She frowned and pulled her keys from her pocket.

Logan grabbed her hand and pulled her away from the door. "Hold up a minute." She backed away toward the stairs, taking a puzzled Kate with her. When they were at the top of the stairs she stopped, "You hung a Katchina there for...?"

Kate looked back at her door, "It was handed down to me from my great-grandmother. Not that I really believed it, but she said it would keep the bad spirits away." She smiled, "My grandmother and great-grandmother still, at least pretended, to believe the old ways. What's the big deal? Maybe it fell, or someone took it." Her lips set into a thin line, "If someone took it, I'll kill them."

Logan pulled Kate down the steps as she pulled her phone from her pocket.

"Hey, what's going on?" Kate's voice was confused, but she didn't resist.

Logan dialed Dean and spoke to Kate while it rung, "Look, what if it didn't just fall. It's there for protection, what if something else is going on?"

"But…why…?"

Logan interrupted Kate by holding up a finger as Dean picked up.

"Hey you guys ready, 'cause I'm starving." Dean asked before Logan could say anything.

"Something's going on at Kate's place. She had a Katchina hanging for protection at her door and it's missing."

"Shit, why can't things stop…at least until after breakfast?!" There was a pause and Logan could hear Dean's muffled voice as he yelled to Sam, "Sammy! Let's go, Logan thinks something strange is going on over at Kate's apartment." Dean's voice returned to the phone, "You didn't go in did you?"

Logan gave a snort, "No. I'm not a complete idiot."

"Yeah, well time will tell on that one, but stay outside and we'll be there in a few. Hold on…" There was some more muffled conversation and then Dean was back, "Sam's right, stay on the phone until I can see you."

Logan smiled against the phone and jumped up and down to warm herself, "Fine, but it's freezing out here, so hurry up and get your ass over here."

Logan could hear Dean's smile when he replied.

"Look snow princess, we're hurrying. We're just passing the lodge, now." Dean said something away from the phone and then spoke again to Logan, "Damn, if giraffe legs would hold up a second….you should be seeing us, well Sam about now."

Logan glanced out toward the lodge, and waved from the stairs when first Sam and then Dean came into view, "Okay, I'm hanging up now." She flipped her phone closed and turned to Kate. "The cavalry arrives."

Kate shook her head and batted her eyes dramatically, "My heroes, they make my heart go all a twitter."

Logan laughed, "Shh, let them hear you say that and you'll never live it down."

Sam was halfway up the stairs when Dean finally made it to the bottom, cursing about snow and boots and how he wished ghosts only lived in Florida and Hawaii. His cheeks and nose were red with cold and Logan thought he looked like a ten year old when he pouted up at her.

Sam brushed past Logan with a hint of a frown and then looked down at Kate with concern, "You alright?"

Logan rolled her eyes and punched him in the side causing him to groan, "Gee, I'm fine Sam…glad you asked."

Dean laughed as he reached the top of the stairs, "You two are both fine I see."

Logan smiled at him, "Yeah, we're fine…like I said we didn't go in." She looked back to Kate, "Hell, I'm not really sure there's anything unusual going on, but with the mask gone I just got a funny feeling."

Kate frowned up at Sam, "You know there is probably a completely mundane reason the mask isn't there."

"Maybe, but after the last two days, why take that chance?" Sam glanced back at Dean and nodded, "You ready?"

Dean nodded and pulled the sawed-off from his sleeve, "Yep."

Logan couldn't resist teasing. She pressed against Dean's side, "Mmm, I love seeing a man expose his gun…huge turn on." She winked at him.

Dean laughed, "Maybe later I'll show you my favorite one."

Sam rolled his eyes, "Come on Casanova, let's see what's behind door number three."

The group moved toward the door of Kate's apartment. Dean reached for the doorknob and then jumped when the door suddenly swung open.

Paige stood there wrapped in a sheet, holding the door open as some half-awake, hung-over kid stumbled out into the cold.

He took one look at the gun and almost pissed down his leg, "Hey, man…I…sorry…I…please…I'm." He pressed himself against the wall, but kept inching toward the stairs.

Dean glared and tightened his hands on the gun as he took a half step toward the kid who suddenly broke out in a run down the stairs.

Sam couldn't hold back his laughter when the kid fell, face first into the snow and the air was suddenly filled with the sound of it. Logan and Dean joined him as the kid picked himself up off the ground and yelled over his shoulder, "You fucking crazy bitch…all of you are fucking crazy!"

Kate stood, hands on hips glaring at Paige. Kate watched as she blushed when everyone's eyes turned her way. "What the hell are you doing? I only had one rule." Kate moved into the apartment forcing Paige to back up, "One rule, Paige. Just one and you violated it."

Paige's foot tangled in her sheet and it dropped dangerously low on the right side. She gathered it back up and frowned. It was obvious to everyone in the room she was hung-over, if not still slightly drunk, "Kate, I…um what are you talking about?"

Kate looked around her apartment and then at the sheet currently wrapped around her houseguest, "God, Paige you used my bed!"

Paige blushed, an even deeper shade of red and rubbed at her forehead as if it ached, "I…uh, didn't think you'd be home this early. I planned on having everything cleaned up."

Sam, Dean and Logan made their way into the apartment and the trio stood awkwardly by the door. Dean and Logan were attempting to hide smiles and Sam was just attempting not to look uncomfortable.

Kate crossed her arms, "That is not the point. The point is that's just..." Kate sighed, "Look, the only thing I asked was that you not bring your dates, and I use that term in the loosest possible way, back to my place." She motioned to the sheet, "I guess I just thought it was common courtesy to not fuck random men in your best friend's bed."

Dean snorted and Logan shut him up with an elbow to his stitches.

Kate gave him a glare over her shoulder before turning back to Paige. She moved past her and further into the apartment, glancing around she couldn't find the Katchina mask, "Where's the mask from the door?"

"Shh, not so loud," Paige winced and then looked at Kate, confusion clear on her face, "Kachawhata?"

"Katchina, Katchina." Kate said even louder making Paige wince again, "You know the funny looking mask that hung beside my door." Kate motioned toward the front door, "The one you called ugly?"

Paige nodded, "Oh, you mean that scary looking bear-man thing. Isn't it still hanging there?"

Kate sighed in frustration, "You think I'd be asking you if it were?"

Paige moved to the couch and sat with an unsteady sigh, "Well, I guess not, but I don't know what happened to it. It was there last night." She paused and rubbed at her forehead again, "At least I think it was." She looked back at Kate, "Honestly I was pretty drunk when I got back."

Kate rolled her eyes. She looked over at Sam and shrugged, "Should I be worried?"

Sam moved to her side and slid an arm around her shoulders, squeezing gently, "Probably not, but we'll look around to be sure." He motioned to Dean and the two of them wandered around the apartment.

Logan slid beside Kate and smiled. She nudged Kate's shoulder, "Sam was right, it really is a nice place." A wicked gleam lit her eyes, "You sure he's strait?"

Kate laughed, "You know there is a rumor going around…"

**_Now's your chance to remind my muse why she keeps inspiring me to write this story...you know what to do, but if you forgot: hit that little button at the bottom left of the screen and tell me what you thought._**


	44. After Breakfast

During breakfast, Kate entertained them with endless stories and complaints about her houseguest and the now useless, twelve-hundred thread count, Egyptian cotton sheets Paige desecrated the previous night. Sam and Logan recounted similarly disgusting college stories and Dean; well he laughed and shared a few awkward stories of his own. Afterwards, they decided to take a couple of snowmobiles out. It was a short drive down the mountain in Kate's old Land Rover to the trails.

Kate knew the owner of Mountain Rentals and since he owed her a favor, they were able to borrow two rigs for the cost of gas. After a short lesson on how to ride, they went off down the trail with Kate and Sam in the lead. It didn't take long for Dean to turn it into a competition and they ended up racing through the trails and forcing their way through unbroken powder. Kate however, won every time and after a few hours, the couples were cold, hungry and exhilarated while at the same time being tired.

As they walked back to the care Kate suggested a late lunch at her apartment, saying she would cook, Sam and Dean nodded enthusiastically.

Logan, who was walking a few steps behind everyone, called out, "I'd love to, but I'm feeling unreasonably tired and my side is starting to hurt."

Dean stopped and turned. He watched as Logan held her hand to her side then took in her tense stance and the way she was attempting not to favor her side. He frowned as Logan reached the Land Rover and climbed into the backseat. He slid beside her and nudged her thigh as Kate drove them back up the mountain, "You sure you're okay?"

Logan's wide eyes met his and she shook her head. Quietly she answered, "No."

Worry hit Dean hard and he felt tension build in his belly. "Shit, what's wrong? Do you need to see a doctor?"

Logan shrugged, "For what, a funky ass, already healing brand on my side."

Dean didn't like how pale she suddenly looked and he leaned forward and tapped Sam's shoulder.

"Yeah?" Sam asked, turning a bit in his seat.

Dean motioned at Logan, "Something's wrong."

Sam took one look at Logan, "Holy hell, Logan what's wrong?"

Kate adjusted the rearview mirror and glanced into the backseat. What she saw made her swerve and slam on the breaks. The car jerked to a sudden stop.

"Fuck!" Dean exclaimed reaching an arm forward to prevent from ending up in Sam's lap, while trying to keep Logan upright in her own seat as she began to slump to the side. "What the hell are you doing?"

Sam peeled himself from the dash and turned toward Kate. He watched her stare wide-eyed, with what Sam would swear was fear, at Logan in the mirror. "Kate, are you alright?"

"Shit, Sam she just tried to send you through the windshield, no she ain't alright." Dean pulled Logan against his side, "Hey, Logan…come on talk to me."

Kate turned and looked over her shoulder at Logan and Dean and confusion replaced the fear. "She…what…." Kate looked back into the mirror, "Sam, something's not right." She pointed into the mirror.

Sam pulled the mirror in his direction and glanced into it. His jaw dropped and then he turned to look into the backseat. Logan lay passed out against Dean's side, pale and limp. He glanced back to the mirror and shook his head. It wasn't possible. He ran his hand through his hair and then turned back to watch Dean and Logan.

"Sam, what the hell is going on?" Dean was pissed and his fist hit the back of Sam's seat with enough force to bounce Sam forward.

"Dean, I don't know. I just don't know." Sam shook his head and turned in his seat to face Dean.

Logan moaned and held her head as her body shook, "Gonna…sick…" Logan rolled her head toward the door and fumbled with the handle.

Moving fast, Dean reached across the seat and threw open the door just as Logan began vomiting. Kneeling on the floor beside her he pulled her hair from her face and held it out of the way until she was finished.

Kate pushed herself upright and with Dean's help slid back into the car. She was still pale, but her color was better than it had been. She rested her head on the back of the seat and breathed slowly. She pressed a hand to her side, "M'side feels like fire and why in hell do I feel like I drank all night?"

Dean took the napkin that Kate passed over the seat and wiped at Logan's chin. "What just happened?"

Logan opened an eye, "I was going to ask you the same thing." She pushed Dean's hand away. "I was fine, then I felt like I was just, well gone."

Kate stared hard at Sam and he grabbed her hand, "Are you going to tell them what you saw?"

Dean heard Kate and he sat forward, "What the hell did you see, Sam?"

Sam's eyes caught his brother's and then he turned back to the mirror and looked into the backseat. Logan sat beside Dean with her head pressed against the seatback. When he looked into the back seat, he saw the same thing. He pointed at the mirror, "Before when Logan was feeling off…she, ah looked different in the mirror."

Dean glared at his brother, "Different how?"

Kate answered, "She was fuzzy, like some sort of bluish light was right behind her…it's hard to explain, sort of like a double exposure she was there, and something else too."

Dean pulled Logan against his side, "That just doesn't make any sense."

Logan, who was looking better, sat up, "My mother...she was always wary of mirrors."

"Why?" Dean's voice was quiet against Logan's hair.

Logan pulled away from Dean and looked at him, "Don't really know. She told me she'd talk to me about it when I turned sixteen," Logan frowned, "but she never had the chance."

Dean's clenched fists were a testament to his frustration, "So you have no clue what was going on with your mother?"

Logan shook her head and shrugged in frustration, "Dad just made sure to cover or turn any mirrors when Mom was upset." She paused, "I remember once, when I was about thirteen, Dad caught me using a compact in the bathroom before school. Mom was upset and we had covered the only two mirrors in the house. My father yelled at me, told me I didn't realize what I was doing or how dangerous it could be and then he grounded me for a month."

Sam turned to face forward and Kate did the same.

Kate, finally calm enough to think, straightened the car and began to drive.

Sam leaned his head against the window as he watched the snowy landscape rush past. His thoughts simply flowing out his mouth, "Many legends and myths about mirrors…gateways, spirit reflections, possessions…"

Dean sat forward, "Hey, aren't mirrors supposed to reflect back our souls?"

Sam glanced over his shoulder, "That's what some of the myths say…which is why legend says vampires can't see themselves in the mirror; their bodies no longer contain their souls. No soul-no reflection."

Dean sighed and fell back onto the seat, "Yeah, well that's not helping any since Logan isn't a vampire and she obviously had some kind of reflection." Dean glanced at Logan and grabbed her hand, "Anyway is that even true?"

Sam shook his head, "Don't really think so…unless maybe there's a certain kind of mirror. Maybe polished silver or something, but I don't think a modern mirror would be the same."

Logan squeezed Dean's hand and gave him a shaky smile.

He smiled back, "You remember anything other than the funny feeling?"

Logan closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "I started to feel tired, just suddenly really tired. Then my side started to ache and burn, which it hadn't been doing, then I just felt like I wasn't here." She opened her eyes and looked around, "I mean I knew where I was, but I felt like I was watching from a distance, sorta like I was floating. Then the next thing I know I'm slumped against your side and feeling sick."

Sam's head suddenly popped up and around his headrest, "What if you were projecting?"

Dean could see the wheels spinning in his brother's head. Something was clicking and Dean stared at his brother, confused, "What're you talking about?"

"You know like an astral or maybe even etheric projection." Sam's excitement was evident on his face, "If you're projecting and don't know it, or for some reason can't control it, you might feel disorientation and what if you're being separated from your body against your will…" Sam raised an eyebrow, "then you might actually feel pain."

Dean glanced over at Logan. He watched her eyes as she evaluated what Sam had just said. He swung his eyes to Sam, "It makes sense." He looked at Logan again, "What do you think?"

Logan pulled herself upright and crossed her arms, "You know, my parents, my mother especially, were very good at summoning demons and ghosts. They were very into the occult, but strongly on our side of the fight and I remember hearing my father and Finn talk about Mom's trances. I guess her trances could have been times she was projecting." Logan looked away and out the window, "Damn it, why couldn't my parents have been more open about this shit with me…why'd it have to wait until I was older?"

Kate parked the Land Rover in the lot behind the lodge and turned off the ignition. She unbuckled her seatbelt and turned in her seat so she could face Sam and better see the backseat. "Okay, I've heard of astral projection, but what the hell is etheric projection?"

Dean answered, "It's almost like being a ghost, your soul or self or whatever you want to call it separates from your body. That self then moves around in real time in the real world." Dean dropped his gaze to the floor, "I suppose it's like being a ghost. I could see and hear everything going on around me, but I couldn't get anyone to recognize I was there." His eyes caught Sam's gaze, "But somehow Sam knew, he warned me about the Reaper…he didn't give up on me."

Sam smiled over the seat, "Never will, either bro."

Kate smiled at Sam and gripped his hand.

Logan swung back toward Dean, "You've done it? Etheric projection?"

Dean gave Logan a half-nod, "Well, I wasn't trying to do it. I was lying near death in a hospital bed and let me tell you that was a kick in the balls." Dean shuddered, "Totally, not cool."

Sam chuckled, "Yeah, he'd been mostly dead all day."

Dean glared at him, "Uh-huh, laugh it up."

Logan gasped, "And you avoided a Reaper? I didn't think that was possible."

Dean thrust a hand through his hair, "It isn't…but our stubborn-assed father made a deal with the devil and he took my place."

Logan put her hand on Dean's arm, "I'm sorry."

Dean nodded, his voice a hoarse whisper, "Me too."

Sam cleared his throat uneasily, "Well, at least we have a place to start the research we have to do, but first I need to eat. I'm starving."

Kate smiled and nodded as she opened her door, "Great and I'm still cooking. How's chili and homemade cornbread sound?"

Logan nodded at Dean.

Dean, never one to let the promise of food go to waste, smiled, "Hell, I'd love a homemade meal."

Kate waited for everyone to exit the vehicle and then locked the doors, "Hope everyone likes their chili hot, cause that's the only way I make it."

Dean's smile widened and he nodded when Kate looked behind her at them. When she turned, he threw an arm around Logan's shoulder, pulling her close as he watched Sam take Kate's hand and walk ahead of them. He dropped his head to Logan's ear, his voice serious, "Really, are you alright."

Logan leaned against him, "Honestly, I'm freaking out a bit and I don't like feeling that way."

"We'll figure this crap out soon." Dean lifted his chin in the direction of his brother, "Sam, thinks Bobby knows something. Your mom was his sister, so it's probable that he does. Maybe he'll share something useful."

Logan offered a crooked smile and sighed, "Yeah, Uncle Bobby's a fount of knowledge when it comes to my parents." She kicked at a large lump of snow in the path, "Mom and him didn't get along real well. He never really approved of the methods she and Dad used to find information."

Dean frowned, "So? He'd be an asshole if he knew something and didn't tell us and I know one thing, Bobby's always done right by us. Sometimes, he was a better _father_ than Dad was."

Dean paused and turned, pulling Logan to face him. He smiled and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. He watched as a few heavy snow flakes fell and landed in Logan's hair, "I promise we'll figure it out. I'm not about to let you get hurt again. That thought is…" Dean winked and his eyes sparkled impishly, "…well it's, inconceivable."

Logan laughed and stood up on her toes to brush fat snowflakes from Dean's hair. She wet her lips, leaned toward his mouth, and when she saw Dean tilt his head and inch forward, she suddenly dropped back to her feet.

"What?"

Dean's puzzled response made her smile and she shook her head. "Ah, it's kissing again…you don't want to hear that."

Dean threw his head back and laughed even as he pulled her against his chest and bent his head. His voice barely a whisper against her lips just before he kissed her, "I don't mind so much."

_**First, I think I need to apologize for all the **Princess Bride** references, we spent the weekend with college friends and we watched it three times...long story, but that movie is funny sober and even funnier when your not. **_

_**Anyway those lines weren't in the original draft, but with all the movie watching they somehow kept creeping in, so you'll have to forgive me. Hey, if you don't like it, let me know and I'll apologize some more ;) And as always, if you did like it be sure to Feed the Muse!**_

**_NOTE: A reader,_** finding-the-inner-self,**_ pointed out that I forgot to make a note on_** _**something. In the episode, **In My Time of Dying,** Dean wakes up and doesn't remember anything about his time as a "ghost"...I decided to ignore that point and pretend that he does remember, chalk it up to artistic liberty ;)**_


	45. Package Deal

**_Hope you all enjoy..._**

After lunch, Kate talked Sam into a few runs down the slopes before the snow got too heavy. She tried to convince Dean and Logan to join them.

Dean emphatically refused. "Hell no, you should know better Sam. I ain't strapping 2x4s to my feet and sliding down a hill."

Sam laughed and shook his head, "It's only cause you know you suck at it, and Dean Winchester never let's 'em see him suck."

Kate giggled and nudged Sam's side, "Hell, my mind just went AWOL on that one…mental pictures galore."

Logan's eyebrow shot up suggestively and she giggled with Kate, "Some of those pictures ain't half bad, though."

Dean grumbled under his breath, "Sick, you know that you two are sick," He shot a glance at the girls and then turned his glare on Sam, "I like my risks calculated. Slippery boards strapped to your feet on top of slippery snow at the top of a mountain? How the hell can you calculate the risk…" he shook his head, "too many unknowns. Besides, those little kids are freaky. They don't even use poles." He cocked his head to the side and smiled, "It ain't natural. Hey, you think they're possessed?"

Sam rolled his eyes, "Yeah, kids on skis…real scary, grab the holy water." He glanced at Logan with a questioning eyebrow.

"Oh, no…I'm with Dean on this one. There's a reason you'll never see me on skis, well two if you count the silly outfits they expect you to wear. Though the main reason is, I'm not stupid enough to believe I'm any good at it." Logan shook her head as she and Dean left the other couple by the lodge, "Besides, I didn't sleep really well and I'm pretty wiped."

Sam yelled after them, "We'll stop by the cabin when we're done, then we'll start on some research."

Dean raised a hand in acknowledgement and fell into step beside Logan.

Logan nudged his hip with her elbow, "Your chest doing okay after all the crashing through the tundra?"

Dean absently moved his hand to his chest and nodded, "Hardly feeling it."

Logan shook her head, "You're a bad liar sometimes, you know that?"

"Sam says the same thing." He gave her a crooked a smile, "Maybe it's because you know me too well."

Logan looked up at him, eyebrows raised, "I really don't know you well at all." She glanced down at her feet, "I mean I know how to push your buttons, what you like to eat, what you like to drink. I know what position you sleep in, what you wear to bed, and that you wear boxers, but hell if I know what makes you tick."

"Are you calling me enigmatic?" He laughed at Logan's face, "Yeah, I know a few polysyllabic words, what of it?"

Logan giggled, "Well, at least two, anyway."

Dean smiled, reached for her and barely managed to catch the hood of her sweatshirt, "Come here." He pulled her into his arms, "At least two my ass." He kissed her nose, "How about, pulchritudinous. Logan McCree is a pulchritudinous hunter."

Logan smiled, "You know that is such an ugly word, but thank you. So, now that makes three."

Dean rolled his eyes, "Fine. Your intransigent stance that my vocabulary skills are poor is unsubstantiated."

Logan pulled back, and held a hand up in surrender, "Okay, you win, but maybe if you used your 'big words' more often I'd know that your vocabulary is well developed."

Dean nodded, "More than my vocabulary is well developed." He pressed himself against her belly.

"So it would seem, but just because it's well developed doesn't mean you know what to do with it." Logan teased as she ran her fingers under the collar of his jacket and along his hairline.

Dean bent his head to her ear, "What? The other night didn't teach you anything?"

Logan shook her head, "I'm a slow learner…" She reached up and bit at his lower lip, "…I might need a couple more lessons."

Dean growled, "I'm pretty sure I can handle that." His hands moved to her hips and he kissed her softly. His tongue teasing, as it barely entered her mouth and then slipped back.

Logan moaned and pulled back. She looked down the path and groaned, "Come on, like I told you, I am not into exhibitionism. Let's get back to the cabin."

Dean let her lead him down the path, "You know you should give it a try sometime. There's nothing like thinking you might get caught."

"Yeah? Is that why Sam knows more than a brother should about your sexual habits? You like him watching?" Logan laughed when Dean blushed, "Ha! I didn't think that was possible. The great Dean Winchester blushing."

"I'm not blushing…only girls and Sam," He paused with an evil grin, "well like I said, only girls blush." Dean smirked again and reached into his pocket for the keys as they came to the cabin. "Unfortunately, Sam and I usually share a room and occasionally I get a little carried away at the bar. When I do, my decision making skills go all to hell." Dean opened the door and waited for Logan to enter before following her in.

Logan nodded sagely and replied with all seriousness, "Yes, I know I've seen your decision making skills first hand when you spend time with the twins Jim and Jack and oh yeah, let's not forget their cousin Jose."

"I'm not denying it." Dean said pulling off his jacket, "And I believe I apologized for being an ass, but if I didn't, I'm sorry."

Logan dropped her jacket onto the counter and watched as Dean stomped snow from his boots before untying them. She smiled as she watched him, "You know you're disgustingly graceful for a man." She pulled a foot up to rest on the stool and untied her boot then dropping it to the floor. Then she did the same with the other, leaving them where they fell.

Dean chuckled, "I'm touched." He shoved his boots against the baseboard heater by the door so they would dry then he stood and moved to Logan. His arms on the counter behind her, effectively boxing her in, he smiled down at her and leaned forward to press her back against the counter.

"Maybe you shoulda' been a dancer." She teased him as her hands went around his neck.

Dean shook his head and gave her a pout, "Now you're just insulting me." He nudged her legs apart with his knee and then pressed it against her.

Logan's eyes drifted closed and a small gasp fell from her lips as she shook her head, "No I'm not, it's just that the way you move is so damn sexy." She leaned into him, increasing the pressure between her legs.

Dean threaded his fingers into her wind-tangled hair, and gently pulled her head back as he bent to kiss her. His tongue sliding against hers in a suddenly mad rush.

Logan's fingers returned the favor and strayed into Dean's hair. She tilted his head to deepen the kiss and pulled his tongue into her mouth with a gentle suction.

Dean moaned and trailed his mouth to her ear, kissing a path down her neck and then pulling back when his lips met her shirt. His hands skated down her shoulders to the zipper of her hooded sweatshirt. Dean smiled as he pulled the zipper slowly down and his hands slid up to Logan's shoulders and eased the fleece down her arms.

Logan twitched away from his fingers as they slid up her sides in ticklish strokes. Her soft giggles turning to a light gasp when his thumbs brushed her already hardened nipples.

Dean teased her nipples, his thumb turning light circles over them in turn. He watched her bite her lip and felt her press herself against the knee that was still between her legs.

The heaviness was building low in her belly and Logan couldn't help but moving herself against Dean's knee to the rhythm of his talented fingers. The seam of her jeans pressing in just the right spot and the pressure built as she moved.

Dean's hands slid back down her sides and he chuckled when Logan moaned at the loss of his hands on her breasts. He pressed his lips to her ear, "Shh, I'm not done with you yet."

Logan's sharp gasp filled the air as Dean's hands found the skin beneath her long sleeved t-shirt and her eyes found his, as she smiled, "God, you better not be."

Dean's eyebrow shot up and his hands skimmed the skin along her side. He found his finger's tracing the rune on her left side without conscious thought but his hands continued until he cupped her breast through her bra.

Logan's head fell back and she moved against Dean's hand as she felt his thumb and forefinger tug on her nipples in tandem, sending a shock of heat down her spine to settle low in her belly. Suddenly needing more Logan reached down and pulled her shirt over her head, throwing it over Dean's shoulder.

Dean pulled back and watched as his fingertips teased over Logan's chest, just below her breasts and then to her back. He found the clasp, with a small twist unhooked her bra, and tugged it down her arms. He watched as her passion darkened eyes drifted half closed and she wet her lips with the tip of her tongue. Dean's cock jumped and throbbed and he couldn't prevent himself from pushing against her.

Logan gave a frustrated groan and began to pull at Dean's clothes, needing to see him, to feel skin press against skin. She worked the dark flannel shirt off his shoulders and then thrust her hands beneath his t-shirt. She used her nails to score a path up his stomach, over his ribs and then raked her nails sharply over his nipples.

Dean's eyes drifted shut, he hissed, "Shit, Logan…" as the blood rushed to the tracks her nails left in their wake, and the trail of fire led straight to his cock. Dean pulled her roughly against him, his lips descending on hers almost desperately. His tongue thrusting hungrily into her mouth, teasing her and pushing her need until his own was sharp and cutting.

Dean broke the kiss for the amount of time it took to pull his t-shirt over his head and then pulled Logan against him. One hand on her hip the other traced across her chest, light touches on her overly sensitive skin and he smiled wickedly against her lips when she moaned deep in her throat.

Every nerve of her body was on edge. Need and want pounded through her veins as Dean's hand released waves of exquisitely brutal lust through her body. With sudden realization, she knew she'd never needed anyone with as much force as she needed Dean right now. Her hands in his hair pulled him back and she panted against his cheek, vainly attempting to catch her breath even as she continued to slide back and forth against his knee.

Dean's hand continued to tease. Deft fingers up the sides of her breast, skimming lightly across one nipple and then suddenly pinching the other. He kept her off guard, a soft caress here, there, followed by a sharp scrape from his nails, soothed with a light massage then a pinch.

The sensations rolling and building, pushing her higher, making her move more desperately against his knee and she knew that Dean had her exactly where he wanted her. She hated that he played her so well, that he knew how and where to touch. At the same time, she loved the way he made her feel. She fought the riptide that was pulling her under. She tried to breathe and control it. She tried to force the overwhelming desire to throw back her head and come against his knee back, but as her eyes drifted shut she knew she was lost.

Dean watched Logan's face. Saw her fight against her building lust. Knew she hated admitting he could control her, and knew she loved every minute of it. He watched her eyes drift shut, heard the gasping sigh, felt her move more frantically against his knee and he smiled when she whimpered and suddenly fell against him.

He gathered her into his arms as she sobbed her release against his chest, "Feel better now?" Dean asked teasingly against Logan's ear.

Logan trembled and purred against his chest, "Mmm, yeah." She stretched up against Dean's chest and kissed him leisurely. Her hands slid down his chest as she put a sliver of distance between their lower bodies. Her nails grazed the waist of his jeans and when she found the button, she slid it loose and tugged his zipper down.

Logan smiled playfully, "Didn't you say something about showing me your favorite gun?" Her palm slid over his length firmly and she smiled when he groaned.

Dean nodded and watched through his lashes as Logan touched him. He was hard and his own need thrummed with each breath. He shifted, changing positions with Logan. His back against the counter he pushed his jeans down his hips and kicked them to the side.

"I did." Dean's voice was a hoarse whisper, "But you need to promise to handle it with care." He hissed as her hand barely touched his thick shaft, "I recommend a firm, but steady grip. Don't be afraid of it, it's never let me down," Dean smirked, "after all it is my favorite." Dean reached for Logan's hand, trying to pull it to the ache between his legs.

Logan smiled and shook her head. She stood back to simply look at him, "I will, but let me appreciate it for a minute."

Dean groaned, "Hell, Logan you're a tease." Even as he moved his hips forward, begging for her touch.

Logan smiled. Honestly, she wasn't trying to tease him, but damn, he was beautiful: the flat of his stomach, the thrust of his hipbones, the light trail of hair that thickened as it led to his throbbing cock. Logan reached out and traced those hipbones and down to his cock, a light touch that made Dean ground his teeth in frustration. Her fingers trailed up his body, over the muscles obvious on his stomach and sides. One finger delicately sketching over the stitches Sam had placed the day before.

Logan looked Dean in the eye, her fingers absently counting the stitches, "Thank you."

"For what?" Dean's stance was tense with need, his voice thick and his eyes confused.

"For fighting it." Logan bent and placed a kiss over the stitch at the top of his chest, "For keeping me safe, even though it hurt you." Another kiss, another stitch. She looked up at his face, "For being there for me when I fell apart." She pressed a kiss to the third stitch, "For watching over me while I sleep." She smiled against his chest and pressed a fourth kiss the fourth stitch. "And for not being afraid to let me in, even if it is just a little." She kissed the lowest stitch and then continued to kiss a path down his belly as she slid to her knees.

Dean's breath caught in his throat as he watched her and his hands impulsively sunk into her hair. He couldn't prevent the begging sounds coming from his throat and when she still wouldn't touch him he rasped, "God, Logan please…please…"

Logan's eyes shot up to Dean's when she heard her name and she smiled as she splayed her hands on his thighs and let her thumbs just barely brush against him. She felt his hands tighten in her hair, saw his hips move forward and felt his need vibrate through his body, but she didn't increase her pressure, or alter her touch. Thumbs just hinting along his shaft from base to tip, a slow tease and she felt her own body respond to the promise of what was to come.

Dean was conflicted. He wanted to pull Logan from the floor, strip her of her jeans and spread her out on the counter so he could thrust into her and yet her actions had him all but begging her for more. More pressure and more heat, more friction and damn her, he was about to beg for her mouth. Dean bit his lip and unsuccessfully tried to prevent the tormented groan from escaping his throat.

Logan chuckled. Dean had the upper hand last time, and he about killed her. This time she was determined to pay him back in full, but she was beginning to wonder how he had managed to control himself because she was struggling with the almost overwhelming desire to shed her clothes and slide onto his straining cock. She settled for touching him.

Logan encircled the base of his cock with her right hand and stroked upward in a smooth motion. She watched the muscles of his jaw bunch, as he clenched and unclenched his hands in her hair. She stroked him again, twisting as her hand slid upward and then she moved her head over him. She breathed out, moist heat against the velvet hardness of his cock and then she smoothed the single drop of fluid that had formed on the tip with her tongue.

She savored his taste, rolling her tongue over the tip and head of him. Sliding and teasing the sensitive slit at the top and twirling around the slightly flared head before taking it into her mouth.

She was trying to kill him. He knew it, death by sensual torture. He wasn't sure it was possible, but hell, if it was what a hell of a way to go. Dean wanted nothing more than to slide himself into that beguiling mouth of hers and force himself down the back of her throat. Part of him wanted to watch her take him, as she gagged and fought to accommodate his length while he came down the back of her throat. His eyes drifted shut with the small fantasy. He'd never do it, but hell; he wouldn't deny he wanted it. Instead, he forced his eyes open and watched.

He watched as Logan lowered her head and took him deeper, her tongue teasing and her teeth gently scraping. He took pleasure in the abrupt, sharp pain immediately smoothed over by her nimble and talented tongue. He shifted his legs apart when the fingers of her left hand drifted to his balls, gently massaging and teasing. He gasped when he felt her apply upward pressure to the area just behind his sack. His knees suddenly went a little weaker forcing him to drop his hands to the counter to hold himself up. Pleasure swirled deep in his belly, spiraling outward in a flush of heat, his cock suddenly felt thicker, pulsating against Logan's tongue.

"What?…shit…oh, fuck…" Dean's words sounded garbled between his sounds of pleasure.

Logan continued to work him with her mouth, delicately taking more of him then alternating it with her hand and tongue. She looked up at him, heat in her gaze and smiled. "You like that?" She asked him, even as she massaged the sensitive area with the pad of her thumb, alternating her pressure.

Dean stared at her. He wasn't an inexperienced lover. He'd done just about everything and hell, he was more than willing to try anything once, but damn. He had no clue that what she was doing could feel so good. He nodded down at her and watched as she gave him a wicked smile.

"I hear it's even better the other way." Logan's tongue snaked out and wrapped around the tip of his cock, sucking hard as she took him deep to the back of her throat. She moved her mouth rapidly, coaxing him to move his hips, pressing into the tender area behind his balls and then suddenly, she released him. She watched his cock sway in front of her lips and then looked back to his face, "Maybe we'll try it later…" she added, stroking him with her right hand as the fingers of her left pressed almost painful upward.

She was pushing him into insanity. Shit, she couldn't kill him, so she'd decided to drive him crazy. He was close to losing control. Her enchanting mouth with its delicious suction and her naughty fingers with their ruthlessly, erotic pressure had him close to exploding. Dean gripped the counter and watched her hands stroke him, felt her fingers tease him and playtime was over.

He shook his head and reached for her, "Come here." Was all he could force through his throat and he was grateful when Logan gave him one last tug and stood. His frustration increased when she backed up a step and took a shaky breath.

She stood back to see what she'd done. A flush covered Dean's entire body. His cock thrust upward, curving slightly toward his belly and every line on his face was taut with need. His green eyes were dark, and Logan noted the danger lurking just beneath the surface. Her breath caught in her throat as she watched his hand wrap around his cock and stroke himself several times.

"Hell, Logan…I feel like I'm fourteen…" he gasped when he saw her wet her lips and watched as her nipples hardened right before his eyes, "…god, you're gonna' kill me, or embarrass me…I want you, need you…"

Logan moaned and her hands fumbled with the button and zipper of her jeans. Molten heat flowing down into her belly to settle between her legs and she felt it soak her panties. Need overwhelmed her and she was frustrated because Dean wasn't touching her, just his eyes burning against her skin.

She shoved her jeans and underwear down, kicking them off and then stood there watching Dean watch her. She wasn't embarrassed, but she suddenly felt vulnerable. She needed him so much it almost scared her.

Dean stood, trying to compose himself. He hadn't been kidding when he told her she was close to embarrassing him. He prided himself on his control, but Logan tried him, even when she wasn't even trying. He dropped his hands to his side and crooked a finger at her.

Logan's breath caught and she closed her eyes to compose herself. Shit, if she'd ever seen anything sexier, she couldn't remember. He was an Adonis, Michelangelo's David. Chiseled muscle, compact and hard, but it was his eyes that made her weak in the knees. He looked at her and she knew he was thinking only about her, them and this very minute. He needed her and that touched a place deep inside her that she'd suppressed for so many years.

She'd had more lovers than she could remember: strangers in bars and alleys, men in cars and motels, rarely ever the same man for longer than a week or two, hell she'd even experimented with women a time or two. She struggled with intimacy, but sex made her feel powerful and strong. She used it to help her heal. Took back what they stole from her long ago, but it always left her hollow and empty. It always made her look forward to her next conquest, her next fix, but not with Dean.

Dean watched emotion flicker through Logan's eyes and across her face as she stepped toward him. He could see the wetness on her thighs, her dark curls glistening with it and he felt himself tighten again. Damn, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened his eyes, Logan was there. Standing so close he could feel her heat, but she didn't touch him. He bent his head and kissed her. A slow seductive movement of his mouth over hers, tongue barely touching her lips. When she gasped, he brushed his tongue teasingly along her lips and then slid inside. He set a leisurely pace he didn't feel. Thrust and retreat, tease the sensitive corners of her lips, thrust and slide against her tongue then retreating again with a light bite to her pouting lower lip.

Logan pressed her thighs together. She was throbbing and each time his tongue slid into her mouth she imagined him sliding into her heat, each time his tongue brushed her lips she imagined his tongue across her clit and each time he bit her lower lip a sharp stab of almost painful pressure struck her deep inside. She groaned and moved her body against his. She felt his hands fall to her hips, felt his cock against her belly. She moved against him and pulled at his shoulders.

Dean spun and lifted Logan so she sat on one of the stools by the counter. He stood between her legs as her hands fell to his shoulder and the he kissed her, his hand roaming to her belly and then lower. Two fingers rolling against her clit and then sinking inside. He groaned, "So fucking wet and tight…god, baby…what you've done to me…"

Logan gasped and her head fell back on her shoulders. She felt herself throb around his fingers and thrust her hips forward, "Shit…Dean…yes." Her eyes were wide when she caught his gaze and moved against his fingers. One of her hands slid down her belly she ran he palm against herself then grasped her wet palm around Dean's cock.

He suddenly tensed, fingers stilling inside her. His eyes blinking, pupils wide. "Logan…need you, baby…" He gasped, his voice strangled with need. He glanced around looking for his jeans, they were by his left foot and he ducked to grab them. "Shit…hurry…fuck...," he continued with a string of curses as he dug through his pockets attempting to find his wallet.

Logan giggled and moved herself against the fingers still inside her and gasped when he had the sense to curl a finger and press up just behind her pubic bone. She shivered and moved again. Protection be damned, she wanted to feel him inside her. "Come on Dean…please." She whimpered, hands resting back on the counter.

Dean finally located his wallet and with a jerk of his hand he freed it from the pocket. He slapped it onto the counter behind Logan. He leaned forward to kiss along her neck, his left hand snaking into her hair as he continued to kiss up to her mouth taking it roughly. His right hand opened the wallet and pulled the condom from its hiding place.

Logan's hand had found his cock again and she was stroking him firm and sure, but she stopped when Dean dropped the condom into her lap. She didn't wait for instructions, simple ripped the wrapper off, steadied his length with one hand and slid the condom on with the other.

Dean wasted no time. He grasped Logan's hips, centered himself then pulled back and thrust to the hilt. "Sweet…holy hell…" Dean ground out throwing his head back. He stayed buried inside Logan's wet center, throbbing, trying for control as she throbbed around him.

Logan groaned at the sudden penetration. Pleasure and pressure pushing perilously close to pain. When Dean didn't move she tightened her muscles and gasped as the sensation shot through her body. She wanted him to move, needed to feel him slide in and out over and over. She needed to feel his pelvic bone press against her, she needed the friction to push her over the edge and even the thought of it made her realize that she was close. So close, it wouldn't take much. She was frantic with the need that threatened to overwhelm her. Panting and dizzy she clutched at his shoulders so she could rock forward to press herself impossibly closer as she pushed him deeper.

Dean felt himself pressing against her deep inside, knew that it probably was painful and when she rocked against him, he gasped. He lifted his head and watched her. Dean saw her lust crazed expression, watched as she bit her lip and pressed forward again. He saw the open hunger in her eyes as sweat beaded on her body. He leaned forward to catch a lazy drop that was making its way between her breasts and returned the growl that came from deep inside her.

Logan drifted closer at the slight shifting of Dean's hips. Then his tongue pressed between her breasts and she couldn't sit still. She tugged his head up and assaulted his mouth almost brutally. She rocked back and bucked against Dean. Her body tensed and her tongue tangled with his.

Suddenly realizing how close she was, Dean moved harshly against her. His hands holding her hips as he lunged, driving against her faster and faster.

Logan whimpered and groaned into Dean's mouth, moving back against him as her orgasm suddenly rushed up and pulled her under. "Yes…god…Dean…oh, god…yessss…"

Dean released her mouth when she cried out. He felt her pulsing around him as she grabbed at his hips and pushed even more frantically against him forcing him deeper. He was overwhelmed with the intensity of it and with a final fierce thrust, he came. Sweat ran between his shoulder blades and his hair was damp as he panted and gasped, forehead resting against Logan's.

Logan didn't move as she tried to catch her breath. She felt Dean's climax, felt him grow impossibly harder and larger then she felt him throb deep inside her. It was almost enough to send her sailing once again. She savored the aftershocks of their pleasure, the fine tingles that shot up her spine, raising goose bumps and chills. She felt the hormones kick in and that comforting after sex lethargy start to take over.

She pressed her lips against his and smiled, "Mmm."

Dean shifted and withdrew then pulled her against him and kissed her sluggishly. "Mmm? If that means, time for a nap…you could be the girl of my dreams."

Logan chuckled throatily, "Well, you know I was tired before we started all this, so a nap sounds about perfect." She pulled back so she could see his face. Her left eyebrow shot up as her hand dropped back down between his legs, "Unless you care for an encore."

Dean chuckled and nodded, "I do, but nap first. Repeat performance second."

Logan smiled, "Just making sure you knew to expect a curtain call."

Dean kissed her nose and eased her away from him. "Are you kidding me…If I have to order little blue pills to keep up with you I will, but remember I'm an old man compared to you."

Logan laughed, "Yeah…I can just here you singing along, Viva Viagra…" She frowned, "Fuck, thank you very much, I hate that damn commercial and now it's stuck in my head!"

Dean motioned to the clothing littering the kitchen area. "I suggest that we pick up and head to the bedroom, unless you've reconsidered the whole exhibitionism thing…because you know Kate is really kinda hot." Dean said striding naked to the trashcan to dispose of his condom and then bending to pick up Logan's sweatshirt.

Logan gasped, picking up Dean's jeans, along with her own. "Dean Winchester…you are a perverted degenerate." She grabbed a few more items of clothing from the floor and set them on the counter before turning to Dean with a dangerously wicked smile, "You are right though."

"About what?" Dean glanced around the room to make sure all they'd removed all the evidence and then watched as Logan stalked toward him.

She flattened her breasts against his chest and slid her hands to cup the cheeks of his ass. She shook her head, "About Kate."

Dean swallowed as the blood rushed from his head, again. Blue pills be damned he was nowhere close to needed them. "What about her?" He cleared his throat when his voice sounded thin.

"She is incredibly hot." Logan watched as Dean's eyes grew wide and she moved herself against his now growing cock, "Mm-hm, I love tall girls with dark hair." Logan's voice was breathy as she teased Dean, "Her skin is beautiful and I just bet she'd kiss all slow and thorough…" Logan wet her lips, "…all soft tongue and lips…god, yeah, that gets me hot…"

Dean groaned and stared at her like she was some crazy succubus. "Logan…I…ah…" He stuttered even as he grew harder against her belly.

Logan wanted to laugh, but she still wanted to tease, "Hmm? She could walk in the door any minute, right. Find us standing here naked, fantasizing about her and oh…" Logan moved herself back and forth against him. "You like that don't you?

Dean shook his head, but his eyes said different.

Logan nodded, "Yes, you do…and you've done it before I bet too. Two hot girls, one extremely sexy guy…yeah, you've added that notch to the trunk of the Impala."

Dean glared down at her… how'd she know about that…oh shit her hands, "God, Logan you're impossible." He groaned hotly as he bent to kiss her. Pressing the wad of clothes in his hands against her back.

Logan allowed him to kiss her and then pulled back, her hands gripping his now hard cock. She had one more card to play. She nodded, "Yeah, you'd like that wouldn't you…me and Kate kissing and touching while you watched. Then you'd be there, right in the middle of it all…oh, yeah that gets me hot too" She whispered against his cheek as she pulled his free hand between her legs, "See, I'm serious…just one thing missing."

Dean groaned, "What?" His fingers sliding inside her, teasing her clit, realizing how wet she was.

Logan gasped as his fingers teased, "Shit…that feels so good…where was I? Oh, yeah, one thing missing." She caught his eyes as she moved her hands quicker up and down his cock, twisting and pulling. Damn, she'd worked herself up with all this talk. She stood up on her toes so she could whisper in Dean's ear, while giving him better access to her body, "Sam."

Dean's fingers paused, "Huh?" His eyes confused and unfocused.

"Sam…he's a package deal with Kate and ohh, your baby brother is hot." Logan continued to stroke Dean. Actually, she began to work harder to keep him with her. She arched an eyebrow at him, "Seriously, he is…okay, not as hot as you, but mmm-mmm, I could eat that boy up." She forced the smile from her face, "I bet he's not nearly as reserved in bed as he is everyday. You know, it's always those quiet ones you have to watch out for. What do you think? I bet Sam has a wild streak. Think he's up to a little foursome?"

Dean stepped back and glared, "What the fuck? Hell, that's just plain disgusting…shit I need to bleach my brain." When he saw Logan's shoulders shaking, he shook his head, "I shoulda' turned you over my knee a long time ago."

Logan turned, still smiling and picked up the bundle of clothes from the counter, "What? I'm serious. Kate and your brother are definitely hot." She shrugged as she walked past him, "If the thought of Kate and me can get you all hot and bothered then why can't the thought of Kate, me, your brother and," she poked him in the arm with a finger, "you…definitely need you there," she winked up at him and continued toward the bedroom, "get me hot? Turn around is fair play, doncha' think?"

Dean followed her up the hall mumbling under his breath, "Turn around is fair play…my ass, but paybacks, now they are a bitch."

**_Hope you all appreciate the extra length of this chapter...I just couldn't find a good place to split it. Not that you guys complain about having so much to read or anything ;)_**

**_So anyway, be sure to let me know what you thought. Sexy Dean/Logan is always good if you ask me :D Well, don't forget to feed the muse, because writing smut always makes her nervous. Thanks!_**


	46. Angels, Demons and Warm Beer

**_...Because we needed some mythology..._**

It was after four by the time Sam and Kate returned from their skiing. Dean was on the couch with the laptop open as he searched for some clue to what was going on with Logan. Logan sat before the fire with reference books spread out around her. She'd marked several passages of interest, things that hinted at other things, but nothing concrete.

Kate and Sam joined them in the living area. Kate sat on the arm of the couch and looked over Dean's shoulder. Sam almost began to drool. He was seriously impressed with the vastness of Logan's collection of books, "Where'd you get all these?" Sam picked up a book, obviously quite old and reverently opened the cover, "Seriously, some of these titles, like this one," he added holding up the book in his hand, "are considered mythic." He looked down at Logan, "You know this is probably the only copy of this book in existence?"

Logan looked up from the floor where she was currently sitting cross-legged and took a long swig from a beer she'd set on the hearth. She made a face and looked back at the beer, "Yuck…beer next to fire, not good." She set the beer back on the hearth and turned to Sam, "Well, I sorta inherited my parents' collection. Some of them I left at Bobby's place and some of them I brought with me. I did add a few while I was in college, like this one." She picked up an old leather bound book from the floor by her foot and handed it to Sam.

Sam set the book in his hands back down on the coffee table and took the one she handed him, "It's a hand written grimoire." He paged through the book and then sat down on the couch in awe. He looked over to Logan, "Is this real?"

Logan shrugged. "Don't know, I found it at an estate sale of an old occultist. It was in the bottom of a box full of mostly routine demonology texts. That binding spell I used the other day, the Welsh one…I took it from that book, so I think most of it is probably real."

Sam glanced at his brother, who was still filtering through webpages. He nudged his arm, just a Dean raised his beer to his lips, "Hey, do you know what this might be?"

Dean looked up, a scowl on his face, as he shook foamy drops from his hand, "I'm working here man."

Sam glared, "Dude, this might actually contain missing parts of the Grand Grimoire and if the title page is right, the spells to call even the oldest and strongest of demons."

Dean shook his head, "It's bad enough to summon the minor ones, the ones that always play by the rules because if they don't they know their toast. Who in their right mind would want to summon those big demon in hell type sons-a-bitches?"

Sam looked at his brother as if he was half-crazy, "Dean. If we could figure out a way to get some leverage with Lilith we might be able to summon her and make her break the deal."

Dean stood and glared down at his brother. He was suddenly tense and angry. He shook his head, "Don't even fucking think about it Sam. I'm serious. Summoning a crossroads demon is one thing. Calling up the Wicked Bitch of the Pit is another." He paced to the hearth and turned back to his brother. "Haven't we done enough damage dealing with these mother fuckers?" Dean rubbed at his neck in frustration, "Do we really need to add one more demon deal to the family legacy?"

Sam put the book down on the table as he stood to face his brother. "Listen, I'm not saying we should jump into this without research, but if those spells work," he turned and pointed at the book, "and we can find something to hold over her head we might just have a chance to get you out of this deal."

Dean moved across the room and fisted his hands in Sam's shirt. He pulled his brother down and looked him full in the eye. Green eyes flashed with barely controlled panic, "Sammy, promise me, damn it, that you won't even think about trying this." Dean's hands slid to his brothers biceps and he squeezed. "If something were to happen to you because of this, anything and everything I did was for nothing." Dean shook his head, "I couldn't handle that bro…I traded my life for yours, don't go losing it trying to save me when we don't even know if it's possible."

Sam pulled himself from his brother's grasp. "But Dean, you're not listening…" Sam all but whined.

Dean cut him off, "I am listening Sam. I'm listening to you talk about summoning, if Ruby was right, one of the most powerful demons in existence. I'm listening to you actually think about making another stupid deal with one of those evil assholes." Dean turned, took two steps and then spun back at his brother, "Please, Sam. It's not an option and you need to promise me. Promise me on mom's soul that you won't do this."

Sam's head drooped, his posture defeated, "Fine."

"Promise me Sammy, on mom's soul." Dean's face was fierce.

Sam sank onto the couch and glared up at his brother, "Alright. I promise, on mom's soul, not to summon Lilith."

Dean sighed, smiled and then sat back in front of the computer, "Now, just to bring everyone up to speed with what Logan and I have talked about." Dean opened up a webpage and turned the computer toward Sam.

Sam was still sulking, but he leaned forward and tilted the screen so he could read it. He shifted his knees when Kate came around to his side of the couch and knelt beside him.

Kate shook her head in amazement, "Wikipedia?"

Dean smirked and shrugged, "Hey you gotta use whatever works, and the information's good."

Kate glanced at Sam, "Really? He's not just teasing is he?"

Sam shook his head, but couldn't help but smile at her, "Really. It's been a great resource."

Kate shrugged and then turned her head to the computer. Together, she and Sam scrolled through the information.

Kate looked over at Dean and then up at Sam, "This demon, Azazel, he's one of the captains of these watchers," she paused and scanned the screen then continued, "These Grigori, along with seventeen others. What's so special about these Grigori?"

Sam scrolled down the page. Pointing out a paragraph and then reading, "In Enoch, the "watchers" are angels apparently dispatched to Earth simply to watch over the people. They soon begin to lust for the human women they see, and at the prodding of their leader Samyaza, they defect en masse to marry and live among men. The children produced by these relationships are the Nephilim, savage giants who pillage the earth and endanger humanity." He stopped and looked back to Kate, "The leaders decide to hide when God gets angry, but he punishes them by throwing them into the pit and sending the flood to wipe out the Nephilim."

Kate shook her head, "If they got sent to the pit, how are they out now?"

"Hang on…" Logan said as she shoved a couple of books aside searching for one in particular, "Here, this one explains how there are gateways up out of the pit. Most are sealed closed, but every once in awhile one opens." She shot a glance at both brothers. Only Sam had the decency to look sheepish. "The stronger the demon, the more likely he is to find a way to climb out. It's also possible for a demon to get out of the pit when someone summons him. If the summoner isn't wary, the demon can get loose." Logan shrugged, "Who knows how long it took these guys to get out, but they did."

Kate reached for the small book and paged through it.

Dean added, "Now, the kick ass thing with these two hundred demons is, they are the only ones that managed to mate with humans." His voice grew excited, "Not only did they mate, but their offspring were these Nephilim, big, bad, evil badass types." He looked pointedly at Sam, "These Grigori are the only ones that can create a human-demon hybrid."

Sam looked from Dean to Logan, and understood what they were saying, "I told you. I saw it. Lilith isn't Azazel's. It was one of the other two." Sam closed his eyes and let the vision flash through his thoughts. "I heard Azazel call one of them Sariel." Sam's eyes scrunched in concentration. "I don't remember hearing the third one's name…" Sam squinted in thought and shrugged, "Maybe he never said it."

Logan yanked a large volume onto her lap and paged through it. When she found what she was looking for she read the highlights. "Sariel, also known as: Araziel, Arazyal, Asaradel. His name means light of God or moon of God. He's often called the angel of death and is found in Judaic-Christian and Islamic tradition. He is one of the captains of the Grigori and was punished along with the others." She flipped the book closed and looked up at the boys and Kate, "Wanna' bet the third was Grigori also?"

Sam shook his head, "Odds are good that you're right." He slid the laptop across the table to Dean and flopped back onto the couch. "So, if the current Lilith is one of these new Nephilim what does that mean for us?"

A shadow of emotion shot across Logan's face, before she managed to slip back into her game face. She shook her head, "Don't know, but odds are it was all part of Lilith's plan." Feeling antsy, Logan moved a couple of books, grabbed her overly warm beer from the hearth and stood. She held her bottle up to Dean and raised an eyebrow in question.

Dean nodded and finished off the last of his current bottle.

"Kate? Sam?" She asked as she headed into the kitchen.

"Yeah, thanks." Sam said, as he glanced up from a book he was looking through.

Kate followed Logan into the kitchen, "No thanks. I'm not really much of beer drinker." She made a face, "Unless I've already been drinking."

Logan chuckled, "When I started college I was the same way, but it's definitely the cheapest way to get drunk so I learned to love it pretty quickly." She pulled open the fridge and pulled out three bottles. "You want a water, or some soda?"

"Water'll work." Kate smiled, took the water from Logan and pulled open one of the kitchen drawers looking for the bottle opener. She was digging through the second drawer, "Hey, you doing all right?" She asked with quiet concern as she located the opener and handed it to Logan.

Logan frowned, "Uh, yeah, why?" She took the opener, and leaned back against the sink to look at Kate.

"You looked a bit uncomfortable a minute ago." She motioned toward the living room, "With all that's been going on and listening to you and the boys' conversations I started to put two and two together and I hope you're not upset, but I asked Sam to fill in on some of the gaps." Kate looked hesitantly at Logan and idly opened and closed the cap on the water bottle she was gripping in her hand. "It can't be easy for you."

Fear and embarrassment flitted across Logan's face, the muscles in her jaw tightened and her hands fisted at her side as anger and determination suddenly rose to the surface. She released a breath she hadn't even realized she'd been holding and reached for Kate's hand.

"I'm not angry, but it would have been nice if Sam had asked me first," Her shoulder's lifted in a weary shrug, "but I guess with everything going on it wouldn't be difficult for you to figure out." Logan offered Kate a lopsided smile, "I'm not sure how much he told you, but in all honesty; no, it hasn't been easy. In fact, I just wish I wasn't forced to think about it everyday." Logan shrugged again and pulled her hand from Kate's grasp. She pulled a bottle from the counter and pried the cap off before lifting it to her lips and downing half the bottle in one long draught.

Kate watched, her heart aching for this girl, she now considered a friend. "I'm really sorry, Logan and I wish there was something I could do. I meant what I said the other day. I know we haven't known each other very long, but I think of you as a friend. If you want to talk, or hell even cry or yell at someone, feel free to let me know."

Logan looked over at Kate and shook her head as she smiled, "You know, most people I know would've either ran away from the three of us," She motioned at herself and then the boys, "or refused to believe what they'd seen was real. Most people don't want to know about the evil lurking in the dark, but you, well you've seen it, stood right beside us and haven't said a word. What's up with that?" Logan cocked her head, unable to keep from teasing Kate, "You're either really brave or unreasonable stupid."

Kate laughed, but her eyes held nothing but somber respect as she looked over at Logan, "After all you've been through, you call me brave?" Kate shook her head, "You not only survived, but you came through your experience stronger than before. You have to be one of the bravest people I've ever known." Kate smiled sincerely at Logan, "So no, I'm not brave, definitely leaning toward unreasonably stupid." She giggled nervously, "I'm just willing to believe in things I've never seen. My father and grandmothers told me the old stories, they believed in things bigger than themselves and this world. Believed, or at least professed to believe, that the spirits of our ancestors help guide us through our lives." She paused and sipped at her water, "They also believed that evil spirits could infect you, make you weak and sick. They told me that if my spirit was weak an evil spirit could force it into submission and my soul would be lost, forced to wander forever. Most Native American cultures believe that in some cases illness is a result of an imbalance in spirit."

Kate shook her head, "Maybe I didn't really buy into it before I saw everything I've seen in the past few days, maybe I thought they were just reassuring stories told to a little girl at bedtime, or stories to keep me out of trouble." Kate paused again and set her water on the counter, "I've seen spirits now. I know they exist." A wistful expression graced her face, "I hope my father, grandmothers and brother found their peace, but if not maybe they're out there guiding me."

Logan nodded, "I don't know where your family is, but I know they must be proud." She removed the caps from the other two bottles, "Don't sell yourself short, though Kate, I'm serious when I say most people would have freaked. Not just because of what happened the other day, but, with the exception of my uncle, the few people who know about my past act like I'm either going to break all the time or I'm ruined." She picked up the bottles, "You, Sam and Dean simply accepted me." She smiled shyly, "Words can't express what that means to me. Even my grandmother treated me differently afterwards."

Kate was about to say something when Dean's voice interrupted.

"Hey, what happened to the beer?"

Logan rolled her eyes, "Hold your horses Winchester." She smiled and stuck out her tongue, "Stupid boys."

Kate laughed and took one of the beers from Logan then headed into the living room. She handed Sam his beer and snuggled down onto his lap, "Sorry, we were having a girl moment."

Sam smiled, "'S'ok, I'm not nearly as rude as my older brother."

Dean sat forward and widened his eyes. "Gee, sorry did I interrupt the chick flick moment?" Sarcasm flavored each word, only reinforcing Sam's statement.

Kate, now standing behind Dean, reached out and slapped him across the back of the head, "Play nice, or I won't later."

Dean rubbed at the back of his head, "Ow! Damn." He turned to glare up at Logan, "That's what you say now." His glare morphed into a sensual smile, "I have methods to change your mind." He took the beer Logan held out to him.

Logan smiled and nodded, "Yeah, I'm sure you do." She bent and kissed the top of his head, "Why do you insist on pushing Kate's buttons? You're acting like a twelve year old who hasn't figured out how to tell a girl he likes her." Logan moved back to her spot on the floor and lowered herself to a sitting position gracefully. She raised an eyebrow suggestively at Dean, "Is that it? Do you have a thing for Kate?"

Dean coughed as his beer went down the wrong way. He was shocked as their earlier conversation resurfaced. Eyes watering he glared at Logan, who was grinning innocently up at him. He shook his head and caught his breath. He looked over at Kate, "Kate's great, wonderful…she's perfect…" Dean's eyes swung back to Logan, willing her to stop, "for SAM." Dean took a casual sip from his beer, "So what are you trying to imply?"

Logan threw her head back and laughed at Dean's reaction. She shook her head, "Nothing, baby…nothing." She smiled serenely, "I thought maybe you had a secret crush, that's all."

"That's so not funny." Ignoring the mischief in Logan's eyes, Dean turned his glance to his brother and Kate. "So, Encyclopedia Freaktanica, you have anything else to add?" He asked Sam, smoothly changing the subject.

Sam shrugged, "Well, so far we have two Grigori, with a probable third, who if you ask me planned the attack against Logan and her family. It was a classic ambush. Three demons possessed three innocent looking kids, made it look like they needed help and then waited for the cavalry to arrive. Of course, they knew exactly when they'd be there. Once your brother arrives, Azazel kills the girl, jumps into Finn and waits for the rest of the family." Sam looked at his brother, watched him nod in agreement.

Logan leaned forward and put her beer on the coffee table, "Okay, my parents used demons for info all the time. One of them could have easily tipped them off to where we'd be, but if Azazel and Lilith hate each other, and have for centuries if my research is right, why would one of them willingly help her?" She frowned, "We're missing something. I get the 'let's torture and kill the McCree family' thing, but I don't get why Azazel would help Lilith create some super-special body."

Dean watched his beer through the amber glass of the bottle as he swirled it around. He let his thoughts flow, like the beer in the bottle, "The unnamed Grigori was working for Lilith."

"How do you know that?" Kate asked, moving to kneel on the floor so she could page through Logan's books.

Dean shrugged, "Don't, but it makes sense. Besides, Azazel's an asshole, I'm sure he pissed off a few of his fellow demons, Grigori and non-Grigori alike. What if this third demon was a disgruntled Grigori? If he was pissed off enough, maybe he turned traitor." Dean stopped swirling his beer and took a long sip then looked over at Sam, "If he was working for Lilith, it's the perfect double cross. You take out an entire family of hunters, screw over the competition and he doesn't even know it."

Sam sat forward, excitement in his eyes, "Azazel was shocked when I told him Lilith was his. He didn't even act like he knew the pregnancy was a possibility." He pulled the laptop over and started typing.

Dean moved so he could see the screen and nodded when his brother pointed to the screen.

Sam looked over at Logan, "Most sources agree that while no one knows for sure, it's suspected that the Grigori have to consciously choose to impregnate a human, it's not left to chance. That's why Azazel was so surprised. His plan was simply to destroy your family. There wasn't supposed to be a child." Sam sat back, "He never knew."

Logan rubbed at her forehead, trying to ease the tension that was building, "So, our hypothesis is that some Grigori, ticked at Azazel, finds out about his plan to take out my family. The traitor informs Lilith. Lilith tells him to impregnate me; I give birth to some ultimate evil human/demon hybrid that Lilith then inhabits. This body, somehow giving her superpowers that she doesn't have, even as the freakishly strong demon she is." She looked up at the boys, "Can this really get much worse? I mean you know it took a worldwide flood to wipe these bastards off the planet the last time."

Sam looked to Dean and then back to Logan, "I have a hypothesis that these Grigori aren't reproducing like they were before the flood, for that very reason. They don't want any divine intervention screwing up their plans."

Dean snickered bitterly, "Yeah, again with the divine. Maybe, once upon a time, the big guy gave a damn, but I haven't seen anything remotely divine in a long freakin time."

Kate frowned, her voice sincere, "I'm so sorry."

Dean stared, confused, "For what?"

"That there's never been a moment in your life where something miraculous happened." She scooted closer to Sam and wrapped an arm around his leg, "It's sad and I am genuinely sorry that you've never experienced it."

Sam brushed a hand through Kate's hair and when she looked up, he smiled and mouthed, "Thank you."

Kate smiled back and inclined her head slightly.

Logan cleared her throat, "Well, there is still the whole, I was conceived while my father was, for lack of a better word, possessed by an angel thing, going on." She pushed around a few books, but couldn't find what she was looking for. "Shit, I think I left that one at Bobby's." She dropped her head to her chest and then rolled it in a circle around her shoulders, again trying to relieve the oncoming tension headache. "The big question is, do you think this Grigori bastard and Lilith knew about me being some kind of angel/human hybrid and regardless of whether or not they did, what the hell does that mean...for all of us?"

**_Now, just to reassure you all, Ziggy Mo especially, this story does have a plot and an absolute end point and I have no desire to write indefinitely. It has ended up being longer than I thought it would, but that is partly because I didn't start a new story where this story actually started, which was in chapter 6 and because I've added things as I've gone to fill in a few plot holes left in the first drafts. _****_I won't say I have every chapter written, but I do have major ones done and the story arc firmly in place. _**

**_Okay, now's when you tell me what you think, be it good or bad, so feel free to feed the muse. _**


	47. 30 Minutes of Night, Later That Same Day

Logan's phone rang just as Josh Hartnett's character turned himself into a vampire so he could take out the bad guys. She ducked into the kitchen, "Hello…" a smile crept into her voice, "Hey Uncle Bobby…I'm fine…" she rolled her eyes, "…that is none of your business! You're where? Yeah, sure..." Logan opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water, "I already told you, I'm fine. Yes, I swear." Logan's laugher rang into the living area, "Yes, Sam told him, but Uncle Bobby I'm pretty sure I can handle him myself…yeah, yeah…Shit…" Logan swallowed and her voice was quiet, "Sorry, that's what happens when I work with two boys…" She paused, appropriate remorse in her tone, "Yes, sir…no, sir…We're in cabin 23…okay…" Logan looked at the clock, "Well, we aren't planning on going anywhere…Be careful, the snow's pretty bad up here…alright, see you in about four hours…I love you too." Logan flipped her phone shut and slid it across the counter.

"Wha'd Bobby want?" Sam asked, sitting up from where he was lounging on the floor.

Logan sipped her water and moved back to the couch, "Said he finished up his hunt earlier than he thought he would and he'll be here in the next three or four hours, unless the weather slows him down." When Dean finally lifted his feet, she sat back down, one leg tucked beneath her.

Dean tucked an arm under his head, "That means he'll be here in three." He caught Sam's eye, "Old man drives like I do."

"Bat outa' hell." Sam quipped while he shook his head, "Don't know, bro…Bobby actually scares the crap outa' me. You at least respect your girl; he drives the hell out of that old truck." He laughed, "I think it's because he's hoping he would total it so he'd have an excuse to buy a new one."

Dean snorted, "Don't let him fool ya' Sammy. He baby's the hell out of that engine. Has her tuned up so perfect she purrs like a kitten."

"Can't tell by looking at it." Sam leaned back against the couch and readjusted his pillow, "We gonna watch the last few minutes or not?"

Dean grabbed the remote and pushed play.

Ten minutes later, Dean pushed the stop button, "What idiot would willingly become a vampire? Stupid movie."

"Ah, he did it to save everyone, including his wife." Kate sighed, settling back into the crook of Sam's arm, "It's kinda' romantic."

Dean pulled his feet from Logan's lap as he sat up and dropped the remote onto the table, "It was stupid. All they needed was another distraction and his wife and the kid coulda' gotten out." He looked down at his brother and Kate, "I don't know what was more stupid, either, him doing it or the others standing around once he did and not taking his head off." He snorted, "Come on, his wife sits there and holds him while the sun comes up. Even if they did die that way, what dumb vamp is going to willingly sit there, waiting for death while a fresh meal wraps her arms around him?"

Logan giggled, "It's a movie Dean. You know talking picture…it wasn't a hunter's training video."

Dean stared, "You liked it didn't you?"

Logan smiled and nodded, "Come on, Kate's right, it was really a bit romantic. He sacrificed himself for her."

Sam laughed, "Dude, we watch these dumb movies all the time and they never get it right. Usually, you're not too worried about the plot points."

Dean huffed, "Yeah, well usually the hero kicks ass AND gets the girl."

Kate sat up, "Don't tell me you're pissed because you didn't get your happy ending."

Sam slapped the floor and tried to stifle his laugher.

Logan flat out guffawed.

"What?" Kate asked looking from Sam to Logan and then back to Dean, "What's so funny."

Dean leered and leaned toward Kate, "Oh, sweetheart…you just don't know how much I really do love those happy endings."

Sam took several deep breaths, "Dean has a thing for Asian massage parlors…you know the kind where you get a massage and…"

Realization dawned and Kate's mouth rounded, "Ohhh, a massage and a happy ending." Kate blushed, "Open mouth…insert foot." Kate's expression suddenly changed, "Yuck, you don't really…I mean you've never…god, that's gross."

Dean shook his head and chuckled, "Not gross at all. It's always worth the extra twenty."

Logan gave him a half-serious, half-joking glare, "Yeah, well unless you never want another happy ending from me, you better not step foot inside another one while we're together, because honestly, I'm with Kate…that is gross."

Dean rolled his eyes, "Women?"

"Dude, I'm with the girls on this one…" Sam sat up and looked at his brother, who was heading to the kitchen, "That's why you never saw me in one of those places, who knows what the hell is on the sheets."

Dean pulled a bag of pretzels from the counter, shoved a few into his mouth, "That's sick Sam. Of course the sheets are clean." He popped another pretzel into his mouth, "They have rules and stuff."

Kate giggled, "Um, yeah…because places like that always follow the rules."

Logan came around the counter and stood in front of Dean as he leaned against the opposite counter. She snagged the pretzel he had halfway to his mouth and took a bite while she leaned against him. "You know, you're a smart guy, but if it takes looking stupid to be right you're more than willing to go with it aren't you?"

Dean raised an eyebrow, "Hey, let's not get mean about it." He teased and brushed her hair over her shoulder, "I'm just saying, the sheets didn't smell, they weren't sticky so let's just all believe they were perfectly clean."

Logan stood up her toes and kissed Dean's chin, "Sure…we'll pretend you're right. You up for another movie?" She looked at the clock, "No sense going to bed yet since Bobby'll be here in a few hours."

Dean shrugged and put the pretzels back on the counter so he could pull Logan against his chest, "I don't care." Dean smiled seductively, "Though I'm sure we could spend the time more productively."

Logan put her hand on his chest and shook her head, "No way, not with Bobby showing up any time now." She looked over her shoulder and caught Kate and Sam making out on the couch. She smiled and motioned to them, "But I think Sam has the same idea as you."

Dean glanced into the living room, "Well, it's about time he picked up something from his older brother." Dean suddenly moved.

Logan found herself bent over Dean's arm, and she was forced to wrap her arms around his neck to steady herself.

Dean bent over Logan and kissed her soundly before pulling her back up, "Though he hasn't learned everything."

"Charmer." Logan chuckled and peeled herself out of his arms. "So movie or poker?" She said loud enough for Sam and Kate to hear.

Sam lifted his head and shook it, "Um, neither?" Sam said slowly.

Kate pushed at Sam's chest and when he moved, she sat up. "Actually, I was just thinking that I should stop by my apartment; get some clean clothes, check on Paige, check my messages." She looked over at Sam, "Unless you want to spend the night at my place?"

"No." Came from both brothers at the same time.

Kate smirked at them, "Didn't think so, but it was worth a try." Kate got to her feet and pulled at Sam's hand, "Come on tall, dark and handsome, you can walk me home and then walk me back."

Sam followed Kate to the door and slipped his boots on, "Hey, we won't be long." He helped Kate into her jacket then slid his arms into his. Opening the door he turned back to his brother and Logan, "Now, behave you two…don't let Bobby catch you in flagrante."

"Shut up, nerd boy and keep your head up." Dean said, catching Sam's eye.

Sam nodded and pulled the door shut behind him and Kate.

**_Okay, I'm totally bummed. The new semester started and my classes are already kicking my butt! My muse is lost in pathophysiology hell...really, she is. Between genetics, cellular biology and oh, let's not forget the ethics class... it might take her a bit longer to find her way back to the Impala and the boys. So, if you find the updates taking longer, please don't think I've forgotten you or the story...I'm just stuck under text books and deadlines._**

**_Anyway, I'm working on a rewrite of the next chapter, but I'm not sure when it will be done...I hope, no later than the weekend, but that depends on how quick I get my papers written and my studying done. _**

**_It is now even more important to feed the muse. She's really going to need encouragement to inspire me, because I'll be abusing her to write evil papers!!_**


	48. Long Drives Always Make You Melancholy

_Meanwhile..._

Bobby tapped the breaks and cursed under his breath as the eighteen-wheeler in front of him slowed to a crawl as it ascended the hill, the flashing of its hazard lights casting an eerie orange glow on the swirling snow. He shot a glance at the clock and sighed. There was no way he was meeting up with Logan and the boys inside of four hours. He still had at least fifty miles to go and his four hours were up in thirty minutes. Even if the weather were perfect, there'd be no way.

He lifted the foam cup from its place between his knees and sipped at the, now lukewarm coffee. He made a face at its bitterness and then took another long swallow. He hoped that Dean and Sam were taking care of Logan, though he knew they'd do their best. Dean had called him after Logan got hurt on a hunt awhile back. Filled him in on the large cut and he'd included how it had happened.

Bobby wasn't surprised; after all, Logan had her mother's stubborn streak. If she didn't agree one hundred and ten percent, she was letting you know. Bobby smiled and shook his head as memories flitting through his thoughts. He rolled the window down and poured the last of the bitter, cold coffee out before dropping the cup the floor of the passenger seat as he rolled up the window.

Logan reminded him so much of Amanda. When she and Finn were young, Amanda would invite him for the holidays, and Owen would reluctantly agree. Bobby usually managed to see Logan and Finn on or around their birthdays and again at Christmas. It became a tradition and he always looked forward to it. Both kids were intelligent and inquisitive and they both had the instincts to be great hunters. Bobby knew Amanda, and especially Owen, were proud of them and their training started early.

Long before their first hunts, which was the year they each turned fourteen, they'd been taught to handle basic weapons, and the methods to deal with basic supernatural problems. Early on Logan had shown an uncanny knack for languages, picking up Latin, Welsh and Gaelic spells and exorcisms with ease. Owen spoke Irish Gaelic fluently and while Finn learned to speak it passably, Logan was the one who excelled at it. She and her father would spend hours, deep in conversations that Amanda could barely decipher.

Bobby down shifted as the truck in front of him slid on the icy road and then straightened, now moving slower than it had before. He sighed, damn snow was holding him up. Bobby frowned as he remembered the day they'd met Owen. Remembering how he ended up saving their lives and for the longest time Bobby wondered how he'd managed to pull it off. They should have died, drowned in the icy cold of that damn lake, but somehow, beyond everything that was possible they'd survived; saved by Owen McCree, an Irish hunter who was known for his unusual good luck.

He and Amanda were still green and too new to hunting to realize they were in over their heads. Neither of them had a clue they were even hunting Ràn, the Norse goddess responsible for keeping the souls of the drowned, until it was too late. In fact, Bobby only realized it after she'd imprisoned him and Amanda, planning on what, he never did figure out. Two days before they'd run into Owen as he investigated the same string of drowning deaths. Bobby had told him to get lost, they were on it, they could handle it and when he and Amanda didn't see Owen again, he figured he'd left town. Looking back Bobby still wasn't sure if it was good or bad thing he hadn't.

Somehow, Owen found a way to convince Ràn to release those she still held in limbo between life and death and then he killed her, something that was considered extremely difficult to do. Bobby found out later…much later that Owen was only able to accomplish this because of a deal he struck with the demon Vetis, a deal, which would change things for the three of them forever.

Vetis gave Owen the information he needed to trick Ràn into releasing her captives and the knowledge to kill her. In exchange, Owen promised his first-born son to Vetis. Owen's defense for doing this: he never planned on bringing a child into this world, a world where evil thrived and only a few chose to fight against it. He never wanted to see a child of his have to learn about that evil the way he had, firsthand.

Bobby rubbed a hand across his weary face and flipped the wipers up to high as the blowing snow formed almost whiteout conditions. He sighed, now thankful for the big truck in front of him, the flashing lights making it easier to see where the road was. He winced as memories poured through his head. He and Amanda had been so thankful for Owen's help that they became friends quickly and that is when things began to fall apart.

Owen was fun, interesting and he taught them things, while at the same time learning from them, but after they'd hunted together for a year or so Bobby began to notice things. Owen began to summon demons more frequently. He would ask for their help, and often never banished them. In fact, on several occasions Owen released strong demons as part of the deal. Once released, these demons were free to hurt others and Bobby took issue with that. Bobby and Owen began to argue on a regular basis and several times the fights became physical. Amanda, on the other hand, began increasingly to take up for Owen, telling Bobby that what he did helped the cause, but Bobby didn't buy it.

It was a lie. Demon's were selfish and they weren't about to help hunters destroy evil unless it fit in with their plans. Beside, Bobby felt that all the summoning had to be having an effect on the summoner. You couldn't go around using that kind of power without it leaving a mark on your soul. That mark would eventually start changing you; the more you used evil to get information - the easier it became to use evil to get other things you wanted. The last straw for Bobby was when Owen used Amanda to summon.

The day after that hunt, a hunt that almost killed Amanda when the demon she summoned over powered her, Bobby held a gun to Owen's head and told him to leave. Bobby was unprepared, however, for his sister's reaction. She packed her things and left with Owen. She'd fallen in love and she told Bobby that her future was at Owen's side and that what Owen did was use the equivalent of fighting fire with fire. After all, why should the bad guys have all the best toys? Amanda left with Owen, but she told Bobby that he'd always be welcome in their home. Begrudgingly, Owen agreed and the siblings went their separate ways.

A single tear tracked down Bobby's cheek and he wiped at it with his palm. The tear surprised him and the feelings of loss threatened to overwhelm him as in a sudden rush the pain welled up from that place deep inside he kept secret. A road sign caught his eye and he flipped his right turn signal on. This was his off ramp. Two more miles and he'd be there. He could see what's left of his family, Logan and the two boys he felt were the closest things to son's he'd ever have. A wistful smile spread across his face. It had been a long time since he'd laid eyes on those boys and pride swelled inside of him. No matter that they're John and Mary's boys, Bobby loved them like his own.

As was his habit, when he was lonely, Bobby found himself talking out loud to his best friend, "They're damn good boys, John and I don't know if you ever realized what a good job you did raisin' 'em." Bobby's voice filled the cab of his truck, "While I didn't always agree with ya' they turned into fine hunters and even finer men." Bobby shook his head, "Coulda' shot ya' on several occasions for bein' a stubborn jackass, but all in all you done good." Bobby was forced to slow the truck even more as the snow on the road deepened. "Hope you an' Mary don't mind, but I like ta' think I had a little somethin' to do with the way they turned out."

Bobby struggled to see where the road ended and the shoulder began and pretty much gave up and stuck to the middle of what he thought was the road. "Only wish they weren't as stubborn as you…makes for too much drama, old man…too much damn drama." Bobby shook his head and chuckled, "Let me tell ya' somethin' too, if that eldest boy of yours hurts my niece I'm gonna' beat the livin' tar outa' him and he's gonna' wish that damn demon found him first."

Bobby could see the lighted slopes and the lodge up ahead and a small sigh of relieve slipped into the cabin as he turned into the well-lit parking lot. He followed a sign indicating parking for condo and cabins was to the left and startled when his phone rang. Pulling it from his chest pocket, he flipped it open, "Singer."

"Bobby? Fuck, where are you?"

"Dean, what's goin' on boy?"

"It's Sam, shit…" Dean's voice was mumbled, but Bobby thought he heard something about bleeding and pressure, "…damn, something's here, Bobby. Something big and where are you?"

Dean's voice held a thread of panic and it sent ice through Bobby's veins, "I'm comin' up the drive to the parking lot for the cabins and condos, should be there in a minute. Now answer me. What the hell is goin' on? Is Sam okay?" Bobby asked as anger and concern spilled into his voice.

Dean responded to the authority, "Shit, Bobby, something attacked Sam and hell…I don't know what's going on, but Sammy's hurt pretty bad. Cabin twenty three, just get here." Dean hung up.

Bobby rounded a final corner, the cabins came into view, groupings of five at a time up the mountain, and he followed the sign reading Cabins 15-25 with an arrow pointing to the right. Adrenaline and worry pulsed through Bobby's body and he took a deep breath to steady his galloping pulse and spoke softly under his breath, "See what I mean, John…drama, pure drama…"

_**Hey, let me know what you think...**_


	49. What'd You Do, Get Lost?

_Before the phone call to Bobby..._

It all happened so fast. Kate opened the door and the next thing Sam knew he was pinned to the wall, feet just brushing the floor and he could feel as sluggish lines of blood steadily dripped from his slightly higher left shoulder and down his side. He could smell sweat, and even though he knew his eyes were open, he couldn't see anything.

Sam cocked his head to the side, listening and he realized he there wasn't anything to hear except his heart pounding in his chest. "Kate! Kate, answer me." His voice sounded funny to him and he cleared his throat, "Kate? Anyone?"

A small sound came from off to his left and his head swung in that direction. The sound became a cry, a low soft sobbing sound and Sam cursed the fact that he for some reason couldn't see. "Kate is that you? Please, someone answer me." Desperation crept into Sam's voice and it bothered him. His arm was completely numb and he was starting to feel dizzy and queasy. He wondered how much blood he'd lost. The crying stopped.

"Sam…where are you…?"

Sam felt a small shock of relief when he heard Kate's voice, "Kate, I can't see anything. Where are you?"

Kate's voice was getting louder, as she got closer, "Keep talking I can't see anything either…shit…"

Sam heard Kate stumble, "You okay? Where are we and what the hell happened?"

Something touched Sam's chest and he flinched until he smelled Kate's perfume and realized it was her hand, "Yeah, I'm fine…just tripped. I was hoping you'd know what was going on. I opened the door and then boom, I wake up in here. It's pitch black, can't find you and…" Kate's hand slid over Sam's chest to his left side. She felt the wet stickiness of his blood and gasped. "Shit, you're hurt and why are you so much taller?"

Sam struggled against whatever was holding him to the wall, "Don't know, something has me pinned to the wall." He gasped when her hand met his shoulder, and bumped the object that was obviously responsible for his all but dangling position.

Kate ran her hands over the object that had pierced Sam through the shoulder and held him pinned to the wall. "What the hell is this thing?"

Sam felt his eyes drift shut and he felt cold, so cold. He knew he was going into shock. "Kate…too much blood…need help…" He forced his eyes back open. "Call Dean."

Kate nodded into the dark, "Sam, come on stay with me." She pulled off her jacket and packed it around the wound, leaving him impaled. Using her right hand she pressed hard against the wound making Sam groan, "Sorry, come on keep talking Sam. You've got to help me."

Sam nodded and rolled his head toward her. "My right pocket, speed dial 2. Hurts…shit…that hurts."

Kate felt Sam nod against her hand and she reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. The screen lit up, and the small light in the darkness made Sam look ghostly pale. Kate held the two button down and waited to hear it ring.

"Better be good Sammy…" Dean mumbled irritably into the phone, "…and what the hell's taking you so long? What'd you do, get lost?"

"Dean, Sam's hurt and I'm not sure where we are." Kate's replied calmly.

"Kate? What do you mean you don't know where you are…and what do you mean Sam's hurt? Shit, you two have been gone more than three hours. I just figured you were doing the dirty…didn't want to interrupt."

Kate could hear Dean moving, probably getting his coat and boots on. She could also hear Logan in the background responding to Dean's words and actions. She took a deep breath, "Look, as far as I know we were just at my front door. I opened it and then next thing I know I wake up in pitch black. I figure it's just a couple of minutes later. Sam's hurt, something, and I have no clue what it is, is sticking out from his shoulder and it has him pinned to the wall behind us. He's going into shock and I need some help."

"We're heading to your place, but if you have any other information to share it might help…hang on." Dean said something about weapons to Logan and then was back on the phone, "Can you see anything, smell anything, any information is useful. Concentrate. Can Sam talk?"

Kate could tell Dean was outside, "I'm giving Sam the phone." She pressed the phone to Sam's ear, "Sam. Come on Sam Dean wants to talk to you." Kate pressed hard into the wound, making Sam moan.

"Dean?" Sam's voice was a little slurred, "Dean...hurt man."

"Sammy listen, we're coming, but you gotta help. Anything you can tell me?" Dean's voice was breathy, he was moving fast.

"'Is cold, Dean…really cold." Sam moved his head away from the phone, "Dark…hear humming." Sam wrinkled his nose, "Smells…don' know…like high school…yeah like gym class…" Sam started to shiver uncontrollably and his eyes fell shut. "T…t…tired…"

"Sam? Sammy! Kate, you there?" Dean was yelling into the phone.

Kate moved the phone back to her ear, "Dean, please hurry, Sam just passed out and I can't help him. He's right I can hear the humming. It sounds mechanical, don't know and even though we're inside it's cold." Kate closed her eyes and tried to focus on where they might be. "Dean, it's downstairs…we're in the ice rink somewhere."

"We're almost there. Shit, something's wrong. Kate…th….re….hissssss…am….I….th…." and the phone went dead.

Kate pulled the phone from her ear; the screen was blank so she pressed the two again. Nothing happened; no light came on, no sound. "Shit..." She moved close to Sam, "Hey you with me?"

Sam moaned, but didn't answer.

Kate reached up, feeling along his neck for his carotid pulse. She found it, felt it beat under her hands thready, irregular and rapid. She needed to get the bleeding under control, but without being able to see she was afraid to move him, besides removing the object in his shoulder could actually make the bleeding worse. Kate was shocked at how cool Sam's skin felt and she was getting worried, very worried.

Kate closed her eyes, which seemed a silly thing to do in the pitch black, but it did help her focus. She closed her eyes and imagined the layout of the ice rink. In the front door, rental desk to the left and office to the right the short hall opening into the main room lined with pay lockers. Two rows of benches in the middle with the snack bar along the far wall and four small booths right in front. All the way past the lockers on the right was the door opening out to the ice and completely opposite were the restrooms and locker rooms. Each locker room had its own door out to the stands that surrounded the ice.

Sam was right it did smell like a gym class…they were in one of the locker rooms and based on the smell it was the home/men's locker room. The away/women's locker room always smelled of the potpourri tucked into several places around the room. Kate had only been in the men's locker room twice, both times to help move someone who was injured, but since the locker rooms backed up to each other she assumed they were laid out the same way.

"Sam…hey Sam listen." Kate slapped Sam's cheek lightly.

Sam rewarded her with a low groan.

"I'm gonna try to figure out where we are, so hang on for me okay."

"K..k…kinda stuck doin that…" Sam answered groggily.

Kate was slightly reassured, "Yeah, sorry 'bout that and thanks for keeping your sense of humor about the whole thing."

"Uh…" Sam slurred in response.

Kate moved slowly, sliding her hands from Sam's body, over the thing sticking through his chest and then to the wall behind him. The wall was cool and tile. She smiled. She was positive they were in the locker room. She slid her feet along the floor and her hands along the wall. At least she knew why it was so dark. There were no windows in the locker room, now if she could only find the light switch.

Kate continued to move, slowly off to Sam's left. She heard something, thought it was a voice and she called out, "Dean…we're in here." Kate tripped and fell to the floor just as door opened and light poured in from the outside.

"Who's in here?" A voice called, "I'll call the police. Damn, what're you doing in here?"

Kate stared, but was unable to tell who it was in the doorway since the figure was backlit. "My friend is hurt. We need help."

The man flipped on the lights and Kate blinked, eyes watering against the sudden brightness. Kate raised a hand, shielding her eyes from some of the glare as the man moved toward her. She didn't recognize him, though he was dressed in a lodge maintenance uniform. He appeared to be close to about thirty, broad shouldered and a ball cap covered his shoulder length hair. Kate gave him a nervous smile.

"My friend is hurt, back by the showers…" Kate watched the man move closer and then casually lean against a row of lockers. She pushed herself to her feet and watched him warily. Something about him made her nervous.

He smiled slowly as his eyes travelled up and then back down her body. "Hurt, huh? Well, how exactly did you two get in here then? Rink's been locked up for hours."

Kate backed up a step, suddenly very uncomfortable. "That's a good question, see we woke up here…neither of us knows how we got here, but really, my friend is hurt badly. I can't move him by myself." Kate pointed behind her, "I called for help, and they're on the way, but they haven't gotten here yet." Shit, what the hell was wrong with this guy? "I'm Kate Ross. I head up the Mountain Rescue Medic team. I haven't seen you around before."

The man smiled and Kate immediately felt the chills run down her spine. Something was off…terribly off.

"What? You don't recognize me?" The man cocked his head to the side, "Oh, wait a minute…we never really met did we?" He stepped toward Kate. "You'd already run off down the stairs, taking the little brat with you."

Kate's heart skipped a beat, her breath paused in her chest and fear, deep and cold coiled in her belly. She shook her head, "They said you were gone."

The man laughed, "Yeah, well they think a lot of things don't they. What I am, isn't who you think I am." The man waved his hand, "Hell, Azazel really is gone. Stupid fool that he is did manage to find that one way out though didn't he." He shook his head, "Funny when you think about it. The ghost of demon possessing a possessed ghost…none of us even knew it was possible."

Kate was moving steadily backward, toward Sam. She was unsure what was going on, but this jerk was scaring her and if he wasn't the demon from the tower how did he know about the tower. Her question must have been clear on her face because the man laughed.

"Oh, sweetheart, I was just watching you all. Azazel is crude, but he is entertaining as hell." The man moved until he was standing inches from Kate. He gave an exaggerated bow, "Oh, I should introduce myself. You see I'm Finn…Logan's long lost brother."

**_So, what do you all think? I know I'm evil. My muse is on a roll, hope to have more up while I can._**

**_Please review, it makes me so happy :) Thanks to everyone who does, I really appreciate it!!_**


	50. Even the Light is Like Darkness

The phone went dead, simply turned off. He pushed it into his pocket and growled as Logan grabbed his arm.

"Look." She was pointing at the ugly steel building that housed the ice rink and apartments.

Dean had already seen it, already knew about the inky shroud that wrapped the building in the odd murky fog. Even though it was dark, they could easily see the even darker mist that formed a perimeter starting six feet from the building on all sides. "I saw. That's probably what's screwing with the phones. Damn it."

Logan and Dean paused about a foot from the mist.

Logan held out a hand, moving into the mist. Her hand paused against it, like a barrier, but then passed through with little resistance. "What the hell is it?" She pulled her hand out, back into the normal darkness and shook it as she realized it was colder on the other side.

Dean shrugged and squared his jaw, "Don't freaking know, but Sam's in there and he's hurt. So let's go." Dean slid the sawed off from his shoulder and moved into the mist. It was like pressing through something oily, but once he was inside, he didn't notice it anymore. What he did notice was the sudden lack of sound. He could hear himself, but when he looked behind, he couldn't hear Logan, even though her mouth was moving.

Logan's hand came through and grabbed Dean's arm only to be followed by the rest of her body, "…s not a trap? Shit that's gross." She said running her hands over her face and shuddering. "Hey? I asked you how we knew it wasn't a trap."

Dean held up his hand, "Shh, listen."

Logan shook her head, "Yeah, I don't hear anything."

Dean nodded, "That's what I'm saying. You can't hear anything outside the mist. The snow's suddenly not falling in here and it's dark." He pointed toward the parking lot. "The lights even look distant. It's like some kind of weird bubble."

"It's weird all right, but is it a trap?" Logan swung the pistol grip shot gun around, pointing at the ugly building in front of them, "I mean, what if they're just waiting for us. We'd be sitting ducks and we have no effing clue what this shit is."

Dean took a step forward, "Doesn't matter. Sam needs help and the only way for us to do that is to go in there." He glanced behind him and noticed that Logan was staring off toward the building and rubbing at the back of her neck, "What?"

Logan shook her head and dropped her hands to her side. "Something's here. I can feel it and it doesn't like us. It's familiar." Logan began to move past Dean. She caught Dean's eyes.

"Shit, I hate it when you do that." Dean hissed as he saw the color of her eyes, but he caught up with her and as they reached the entrance, he grabbed Logan's arm. "I'm betting they're in a locker room. Sam said gym class…the men's locker room always smells like high school gym." Dean put a hand to the door, "You okay?" Dean watched a smile spread across Logan's face and it made him shiver.

She nodded, her crystal blue eyes reflecting the dim light unnaturally. "Let's go."

Dean pulled the door open and they moved cautiously in. It was dark, very dark and the best they could tell there was nothing in the main room. One small emergency light, placed high up on the wall lit the public locker area, but its light didn't spread far. Dean pulled a small Maglite from the breast pocket of his jacket and turned the head. The ultra-bright beam barely penetrating three feet ahead of them. "What the hell is this stuff? It's like it eats the light."

Logan glanced around, "It's outer darkness." Her voice was quiet and calm as they moved in the direction of the locker rooms.

The light began to dim and Dean slapped the handle against his thigh, but he could tell the light was still on. "Okay, so what exactly is outer darkness?"

"Read your Bible. Matthew 22:13 'Then said the king to the servants, Bind him hand and foot, and take him away, and cast him into outer darkness; there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'" Logan paused and looked back at Dean. She caught his eyes. "Remember our Grigori friends? They got their asses thrown into the pit…into the outer darkness. Now they are marked with it. It follows them, it's stained them. There is no light in the outer darkness; it absorbs all light leaving it completely dark. So now, when a Grigori shows up so does the darkness."

Dean shook his head and moved to stand before the men's locker room, "Huh, that's kinda useful info...So, does this knowledge only come to you when you get the freaky eyes or what? Because two minutes ago you had no clue what the hell this crap was."

Logan smiled and leaned into Dean. She gave him a small peck on the cheek, "It's still me in here you know, don't let the 'freaky eyes' fool you. I'm just able to see things when they change." She stepped back and shrugged. "Once the headache died I could tell what it was, sense things…it kind of just comes to me, but the verse, that's from Our Lady of Assumption Catholic High School for girls."

Dean couldn't prevent the smirk, even as they readied to push open the door, "Remind me about that later...uniforms and all huh?"

Logan rolled her eyes, "Pig…you ready?" She watched Dean nod, "On three; one, two, three."

Dean pushed open the door and they moved simultaneously into the room, Dean moving left and Logan to the right. They paused as Dean shone the limited light around the room. Neither of them could see anything, but Dean held up a fist and cocked his head before pointing toward the back of the room. A sound, barely there, but something caught his attention.

They moved, alternating side to side, clearing the rows of lockers as they went. They were about halfway through the room when the lights suddenly shot on with an electronic buzz. Both hunters froze, blinking into the sudden brightness and then looking around them waiting for something. They heard the soft groan at the same time and they moved toward it with the same cautious motions they'd been using.

It was Kate. She lay crumpled on the ground, but she appeared uninjured except for a shallow scratch along her jaw line. Logan took one look at Kate, then glanced at Dean, who luckily didn't see what she did. She cursed silently before she bent to shake Kate gently, attempting to wake her.

Kate moaned and her eyes slowly opened, but remained unfocused. "Sam…he's hurt…he needs help." She began to push herself upright and with Logan's help, she managed to stand unsteady and leaning heavily on Logan's arm. She held a hand to her head, "Shit, what happened to me?"

Dean snickered, "We were kinda' hoping you'd know what happened." He glanced around them, "Now where is Sam?"

Kate pointed toward the showers.

The three of them moved toward the back of the room. They entered the shower area and found Sam on the floor bleeding freely from his shoulder. He was unnaturally pale as he sat on the tile floor in a puddle of blood. Directly across from him the tile wall was indented. A small pile of damaged tile and rubble littering the floor around the area; that and more blood.

Kate gasped and then moved to Sam, dropping to her knees beside him. She grabbed her jacket, which was on the floor about a foot to the right of Sam, and again pressed it into the wound. She glanced over her shoulder, "How'd he get down?"

Dean moved to his brother, squatting down on his other side and checking his pulse. He sighed when he felt it, though it wasn't quite as strong as he wished it were. He caught Logan's eyes, "We need to move him and get this damn bleeding under control." Dean watched as Kate worked.

She was methodically checking his brother over. Limb by limb she assessed him for broken bones, palpated his chest for broken ribs and his abdomen for bruising. With the exception of another puncture in his thigh, this one only an inch or so deep, there was no other wound. She glanced up at the wall behind Dean and pointed, "Something was sticking out from his shoulder and was holding him to the wall." She shook her head, confusion in her eyes. "How'd he end up here."

Dean turned to watch Logan.

She was moving slowly around the room, eerie blue eyes flashing over the room. Logan gasped and took a step back, shaking her head and finding Dean's eyes. Then she pointed at something in the small pile of rubble on the floor and then pulled on her leather gloves before bending to pick it up.

Dean moved to her side and watched as she turned the object over in her, now shaking, hands. His eyebrows rose in concern and confusion, "What's that doing here?" He held out a hand to touch it only to have Logan pull it out of reach.

She shook her head, "Don't. It could be poisoned and it carries a spell." Her eyes swung back to Sam and fear made her words sharp, "We need to move him now, before he wakes up. We need Bobby here and we need to hurry." She fisted the object in her hand and then peeled her glove off inside out, encasing the thing inside her glove. Then she did the same with the other glove before sliding it into her pocket. "Come on, move."

Dean moved, but obviously fast enough because Logan turned on him as she reached Sam's side and gently pulled Kate away. Kate nodded up at her and together they reached under Sam's left shoulder and began pulling him up, "I'm serious Dean, if you want your brother to live we have to move."

Dean pulled Sam up by the opposite shoulder and began moving toward the door. A million questions running through his mind. The movement opened up the puncture wounds and they began to bleed again, particularly the one on his shoulder. Dean cursed, but he kept moving. He recognized that Logan knew something and he was willing to wait for the explanation.

It was difficult, heavy work and it took them what seemed like forever to reach the front door of the ice rink. Sam gained consciousness as they lowered him to the floor and then began to thrash and fight. Logan looked at Dean, "Take him outside and drop him in the snow. Take off everything but his jeans."

Dean looked at her incredulously, "Logan, what the hell?"

Logan's eyes swung at his and he was shocked to see them swirl, actually swirl with her anger, "Do it. His temperature is gonna soar we need to keep him cool."

Dean nodded and pulled his brother outside.

Logan followed, she grabbed Kate's hand and pulled her up short. She looked over her and frowned, "Sled, we need a sled to move him faster."

Kate nodded, "In the back…behind us there's a shed." She moved off toward the back of the building with Logan right behind her.

A padlock was on the shed, but Kate had the key. She opened the door and reached for the orange rescue sled. When she turned, Logan was there. She grabbed the sled and as Kate locked the shed, Logan ran around to where Dean was with Sam.

Together they rolled a now mostly naked Sam onto the shed and then they took off toward the cabin. Kate jogged along beside Sam.

As they jogged, Logan grabbed Dean's hand and then pulled her amulet from her shirt. She glanced back over her shoulder and inclined her head before shaking it.

Dean understood immediately and a cold feeling settled into his gut, "You sure?"

Logan's eyes, still their uncanny blue color widened, "Positive."

Dean sighed and glanced over his shoulder, "We'll deal with it, but Sammy first."

Logan nodded, thankful that the cabin was now in sight, "We're gonna need Bobby. He'll know better how to help Sam. Call him, Kate and I will get Sam inside." She looked back over her shoulder, "Kate, come on help me get him inside."

Kate moved quickly and together the girls pulled the sled up the snowy stairs and dragged Sam into the cabin.

Dean pulled out his phone and pressed three, holding the button until the call went through. Bobby picked up and Dean told him what he knew. Then he flipped his phone closed and stomped up the stairs. He had to help his brother and damn-it, they were going to have to deal with Kate.

**_Okay, so let me know what you think...sorry about the flipping back and forth in the timeline. I thought it worked better this way. Please review...and thank you all who have. It really does feed my muse :)_******


	51. Poison and Possession

Everything hurt, but his shoulder was excruciating. Sam panted shallowly, he knew what was coming in the relative pain free calm he was experiencing. He knew this was as good as it got, because soon the pain would be screeching into his head like a thousand knives forced into his brain. Then he'd seize, every muscle locking up at the same time, arching him off the bed, or floor or whatever the hell it was lying on. There wasn't much comfort in knowing what was coming.

He wished he could die, especially when the visions started flashing on before his eyes. Some of them were pleasurable, things he wanted, but most were darker. Things he might have fantasized about, but never would do. Dark evil things, the types of things people kept in the deepest parts of themselves. The hateful, hurtful things you might do or say if only there wasn't a consequence. Sam tried to prevent the thrill of pleasure that ran through him when they started, but he couldn't. It would feel so good to do them. All the times he wanted to hurt his brother and father with a word or an action. Then there were things he never knew he wanted…the pain shot through his head and he heard a scream. It was his own.

* * *

"He's still burning up, what are we gonna' do?" Dean asked over Sam's screaming, as he dumped another pot of snow into the bathtub that Sam was in. "Logan, what the hell is this shit doing to my brother?"

"We need Bobby, where the hell is he?" She watched as Sam went into another seizure, "Help me hold him." She pressed hard against his shoulder as Dean grabbed his legs, holding him as he came up out of the tub, incredibly strong, thrashing water and slush over the both of them. The scream, it was the sound that tore from his throat that brought the tears to her eyes and she watched the emotion echo on Dean's face.

They heard a commotion in the outer room, but neither of them could let go of Sam yet. There was a masculine yell, followed by a short feminine scream, then a loud crash just before Bobby stood in the bathroom door, Kate's arm in his hand. Kate wasn't struggling, and appeared to be barely conscious and hanging limply from Bobby's hand.

"What the hell are you two playin' at? Leaving this demon scum in the room unguarded, she coulda kill you." Bobby snorted, "Or me. You're both idjits." Bobby stared at them as they fought to keep Sam in the tub. "Dammit all to hell, Logan. How in the world did that boy end up like that." Bobby narrowed his eyes at Logan, "You promised me you'd never use it. You know what it can do and shit, looks like it's doing exactly what it's supposed to."

Sam began to relax under their hands and cautiously Dean released his hold. Even though they were running the air conditioner, had all the windows open and he was wet he was now sweating. He turned to face Bobby, only pausing to glare at Logan. "You two better tell me what's going on." Dean ran a hand over his face. "Sammy better make it through this." Tears stung his eyes and he then he frowned and motioned to the now groaning Kate. "Sorry 'bout her. We were planning on dealing with her after we got Sam sorted out."

Bobby gave half a shrug, "Pretty sure I can still deal with some low level demon, but a warning wouldn't have been out of line you know. Damn thing jumped me soon as I slid inside."

Logan stood, she was shaking and tears slid down her face. Her eyes were back to their normal blue and Dean could tell she was exhausted from the experience. She took a deep breath, "Uncle Bobby, it wasn't me." She glanced down at Sam and then at her watch, "We have about ten minutes before he seizes again." She looked over at Bobby, who was eyeing the struggling Kate, "I have something to show you, but lets secure her before I do that."

Bobby nodded, yanked Kate by the arm and all but dragged her out into the living area. Dean grabbed the small desk chair from the bedroom and tied her to it while Logan drew a devils trap with a piece of sidewalk chalk onto the wood floor. Dean and Bobby then placed the chair in its center, effectively securing the possessed Kate.

The sad part was, Dean knew she had no idea what was going on and though she was still semi-unconscious, he felt sorry for her. Dean turned to where Bobby and Logan stood. Bobby had his arms crossed over his chest and he was waiting for Dean to finish.

Bobby pulled his hat from his head and threw it onto the counter with a half mumbled, "Dammit, now one of you tell me what the hell is goin on."

Logan walked over to where she'd dropped her coat and reached into the pocket. She pulled out the gloves and carefully dumped the item on the counter. Then she pulled a dishcloth from the hook by the sink and picked it up, again she turned it over in her hands until she could easily see the engraving. _F. McC_.

Dean stared at the crossbow bolt and then up at Logan, "What the fuck Logan…I thought you said he was dead?"

Logan began to shiver and she nodded as the memory came back to her, "He is, or he should be…" slightly panicked eyes swung to her uncle. "I watched Uncle Bobby shoot him in the head. Then burn the building down."

Bobby rubbed a hand over his beard nervously, "I did. Shot him from less than five feet. Clean shot to the head and it dropped him like a rock." His eyes caught Logan's scattered gaze, "Had to, he was getting ready to hurt Logan again."

Dean saw the horror on Logan's face and he moved instinctively and protectively to her side, pulling her against him and taking the bolt from her hand. He looked at it, turned it over saw the runic spell engraved in smaller forms up the opposite side. The workmanship of the thing was spectacular. He was impressed. "What's the spell for?"

Bobby grunted, "Stupid fool Owen like to spell everything. Don't know why really, sacred iron and blessed ebony wood, would hurt just about anything. Won't kill it, but it'd hurt it." Bobby sighed, "Logan knows what it does, but that's not what's hurting Sam just now…it ain't helping, but it isn't what's putting him through hell, now is it Logan?"

Logan shook her head and then looked up at Dean, "He's been poisoned." Wild eyes swung to Bobby, "Please tell me you brought it. Please, on everything holy, tell me you brought it with you."

Bobby sighed and nodded, "Yeah, I brought it. Against everything I think is right, I brought it. Didn't know why you asked me for it, but someone must've been looking out for you."

"Whoa…hold on one minute. Someone's going to tell me exactly what this shit is doing to Sam and how he ended up shot with a crossbow bolt…" Dean held up the towel with the bolt and looked over at Logan, "…with your dead brother's tag on it. Because if Bobby says he shot him in the head, I know damn sure he finished the job with a salt and burn."

Bobby looked at his watch, "We ain't got much time before that boy starts thrashing around again, so I suggest we get a move on." Bobby reached into his coat and pulled out an old journal. It looked similar to the one John Winchester kept. He slid it across the counter to Logan, "It's in this one."

* * *

Sam heard voices, they were distant but he heard them. Somewhere inside he recognized them. The dull throbbing pain flowing under his skin, but each time he heard those voices he felt a bit calmer. The pain was still horrible, but it was a bit more tolerable. He was waiting for the seizure and that scared him a bit. That and the pain that would rocket through his head, but he knew it wouldn't be as bad. The dark things were letting up and the burning was fading away.

There was a voice, a feeling in his head, something nagging, but he couldn't focus on it. He did, however breathe slow and deep. Taking control of that one thing and suddenly other things started to fall into place. Breathe and focus, just like in the locker room…

_The lights had come on and he'd heard Kate talking with someone. Then she'd screamed and the man stood before him. He saw the evil in his eyes. This man was tall, probably taller than Sam, broad shouldered and he had longish blond hair. His hands held a crossbow, loaded with a heavy bolt. The same thing that was piercing his shoulder. Sam watched the man, no he wasn't a man. He was different, something more, pure evil with a soul. Packaged in a pretty container, death with a killer smile. Sam shivered and he knew; this was a Nephilim. _

* * *

Logan pulled the journal open and paged through it. She knew where it was, she'd read through every one of her parent's journals a million times. She sighed, "It really started out as a way for my father to get inside the head of a demon. He thought that if he could understand how they thought it would be easier to kill them. It's a mixture of an old black spell and the blood of a demon." Logan's eyes found Dean's, "a demon in its true form." Logan shook her head. "Before dad tried it they tested it. Used it on the monsters they fought. Dad never ended up using on himself. It was Finn who started putting it on his bolts, shoot a vampire, a werewolf, anything and you'd screw it up so bad they couldn't fight. It worked too, really well."

Dean slammed his hand onto the counter, "So what the fuck does it do to people. You know. I can see it in your eyes."

It was Bobby who answered, "She knows, but so do I. I know what Owen did. Amanda told me about how he used people he called throw-aways to test it. She told me how he'd grab a homeless guy, inject him and watch what happens." Bobby snorted in disgust, "They all went crazy, became just like the demons. Said and did things, fought hard against Owen. Hell, they even knew things only demons would know. Limited things, but it was there." Bobby rubbed at his face again. A sign of his growing agitation, "Owen was forced to kill most of them, until Amanda came up with an antidote. She was good with spells, picked up quick how to decipher them and then rewrite them so she could use them. She found it, and she used it. Saved a bunch of them from Owen."

Logan nodded, "It's in here, the antidote, but when you use it on someone possessed the poison does something else. It merges them…permanently. The demon and the body become one almost as if they were born that way. You kill one and you kill the other, for good."

Dean gasped and looked from Bobby to Logan, "Like the colt, the demon just dies?"

Bobby nodded, "Yeah, but you lose the chance to save the innocent. It's wrong and deep inside, you know it."

Dean nodded. "But what does that have to do with Sam. Just get the antidote thing going and help him."

Bobby grabbed Dean's hand, "Listen son, you told me what your father said to you about what you might have to do to stop Sam. Hell, John told me the same damn thing…We have no clue what will happen when we use it. What if it turns him into what they're hoping for? We could be doing them a favor."

Dean shoved away from the counter, "Fuck, what the hell are we supposed to do? What if we don't use the antidote? What happens to Sam?"

_

* * *

_

Sam watched the thing smile at him. "Oh, if only Azazel knew. It really is sad because you're so much more than even he thought you could be." The Nephilim rolled the crossbow around in a random motion, "By the way, I'm Finn."

_Sam didn't know how, but he'd already known that. He watched the demon move and saw it smile. "You see Azazel was fighting my father…oh I don't mean Owen McCree, I mean my real father, Vetis. Great guy, I think you'd like him. Anyway, Azazel figures he can kill me. He actually possessed me," Finn shuddered, "Yuck…but in all honesty that was before I'd come into my powers. Azazel did me a favor, hurried up the whole process. Seems we need to finish maturing before we find out what we actually are. Well, have a demon use you for a day or so and it really speeds up the metabolism."_

_Sam felt warmth spread through his body and it surprised him. Finn continued to talk, while Sam focused on what was going on inside him. His fingers and toes were tingling. Something Finn said caught his attention, "…now my father wants you dead. Seems even though Azazel's gone he's worried you might get in the way, so I'm here to make sure you stay out of his way. So, I'm going to kill you. Hell, then I might just take that pretty girl out there for a spin or two." Finn waggled an eyebrow suggestively, "I did learn a thing or two from Azazel about how to treat a girl right…"_

_It was all Sam needed to hear. The roar rose in his ears and the heat pulled from his fingers and toes. With one thought, a wave of energy flew out, crashing into Finn and forcing him into the wall. He did manage to get a shot off, but the bolt hit Sam in the thigh. A glancing blow that didn't penetrate, but bounced off clattering to the ground. Finn stared at Sam, confused and then suddenly pieces of tile began to crash into him, slicing deeply as the shower of sharp slivers flew against him. _

_Sam somehow pulled himself from the wall. He stood with his hand held out in front of him, holding Finn to the wall. Finn was screaming, angry curses in ancient tongues spewing from his mouth. Sam thought it and Finn's left arm snapped. Sam smiled and immediately thought about the right arm, but he suddenly went limp as pain crashed through his head. He heard his brother, and he leaned against the wall with his eyes closed. When he opened them, Finn was gone and the room was black once again, but he was afraid..._

Sam breathed deep and again focused on what he could actually feel. The pain hadn't started and the feelings weren't there. His eyes opened and then he wasn't afraid.

* * *

Logan was about to answer when Sam screamed from the bathroom. The three ran in only to find him standing dripping in the tub, his shoulder bleeding, but his eyes clear. His boxer's sticking to his legs and he was shivering…actually shivering as he leaned heavily against the wall of the tub panting.

Sam glared at the three of them, "What the hell is going on…it's fucking frigid in here."

Logan sighed and smiled, "Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes." She moved to help him out of the tub, and couldn't help but shiver when his cold arm found its way to her shoulder. "Welcome back to the land of the living."

Sam stepped out of the tub, trying to figure out what was going on. He was thankful that the pain was gone. Not all of it, but the shoulder and leg, hell even the bruises he could handle as long as the sharp pain in his head was gone.

Dean threw a towel around his shoulders and began frisking him dry with another like he was a child.

"Whoa, whoa…I'm not six anymore Dean and I'm pretty sure I can dry my own damn self." He yanked the towel from his brother's hand and wiped at his face. "Someone want to tell me what's going on…I was with Kate, then in the dark then there was pain and voices and things in my head. Next thing I know I'm waking up in a tub of ice."

They managed to get Sam out of the bathroom, but he stopped dead when he saw Kate tied to the chair. His legs suddenly went out and he almost ended up on the floor, but Dean caught him, steadied him and pulled him back up.

"Kate…what happened?" Sam asked confusion clear in his voice.

It was Bobby who answered, "Come on boy, even you aren't that stupid, but if you want I can have her drink some holy water?" Bobby sighed, "She's possessed and I figure we should probably exorcise the sonovabitch."

**_What do you think...you know I want to hear it. Sorry for any confusion in the last chapter. Reviews make me and my muse happy!!_**


	52. I was Lifted up, Born from the Darkness

Sam finished drying and then pulled on a dry pair of jeans and a clean shirt while Dean, Logan and Bobby closed the windows and relined the sills and threshold with salt. By the time Sam was dressed the fire was roaring and the heat was just starting to warm the room. Logan shivered, only then realizing she and Dean were about as wet as Sam had been.

Kate had gained consciousness, but it was obvious she had no clue what was going on. She was crying and when she started begging Sam to untie her it was all even Dean could do to not pull out his knife and release her.

Bobby shook his head at the boys. "Don't let it get to you boys. You both know what we have to do." Bobby turned to Kate and pulled a flask from his pocket. He twisted the top and flung it at her. Steam rose from her skin and she closed her eyes, but she didn't scream. The crying stopped and the laughter began.

Kate's eyes opened, only it wasn't Kate and the demon's black gaze swept through the room to pause on each of them. She smiled slowly, and cocked her head to stare at the three men across from her. "Ah, Sam…does seeing your girlfriend like this hurt? She's so pretty too…I could use her for all kinds of things."

It closed Kate's eyes and then opened them to look at Dean. Kate's face was cruel as it spoke to Dean, "How are things going with that McCree Slut, Dean? She has quite the reputation in hell you know. Those three Grigori," Kate spat onto the ground as if the name left a horrible taste in her mouth, "have nothing but wonderful things to say about her. She's quite infamous in their little circle." The demon laughed and then turned to face Bobby, "Uh-oh maybe I shouldn't talk that way about her…what with her uncle around and all."

Logan grabbed Dean's clenched fist and shook her head. She gave him a reassuring smile and then slowly closed her eyes.

Her hand suddenly gripped his fist tightly and she let out a small gasp making the other three people in the room turn to her. Dean grabbed her arm when her legs began to give and held her until she recovered.

Bobby sighed, "What the hell is going on now?" He looked at his niece and Dean with his eyebrow's arched and he took a step toward Logan in concern, but was stopped when Sam's hand landed gently on his shoulder.

"She's alright, Bobby." Sam said quietly just as Logan regained her balance.

Logan opened her eyes and frowned. "This ain't no low level demon."

Bobby openly stared at his niece, "What the…" He turned toward Dean, "Can't say I've ever seen that before…hell." Bobby scratched at his head. "This been happening for some time I take it, since you boys aren't too surprised." Bobby looked from Dean to Sam and watched as they each nodded. "Well, were either of you going to tell me about it?"

Dean shrugged, "Hell, Bobby what did you want us to say? Hey, Bobby Logan's getting these headaches and then her eyes go all shiny and blue? We're just as confused about it as you." Dean ran a hand through his damp hair, "Talk to her about it, she knew about it before she came to us."

Logan gave Dean an accusatory look and leveled her now freaky eyes at him.

He held up his hands, "Hey, I'm not getting blamed for anything I didn't do. I know better than to cross Bobby. While Dad rarely ever laid a hand to me or Sam, Bobby strongly believed in spare the rod, spoil the child." Dean smirked, "That old man beat the crap outa me a time or two."

Bobby snorted, "Only when you deserved it." He looked over at Sam, "And both of you deserved it more often than ya got it."

"Hey! Are you fools really having this conversation?" Kate's voice called out from the devil's trap, "I mean really. You humans have such little respect for us anymore. We really should go all medieval on you again. Maybe if you remembered why you should be afraid of us you'd give us the damn respect we deserve."

Sam glared, "And we should be afraid of you why exactly? Have you seen yourself…you're tied to a chair in the middle of a devil's trap."

The demon turned toward Sam, "And you should watch it or I'll make sure this meat-suit is unfit to house its own soul when I'm done with it."

Sam moved toward the circle, but Logan caught his eye and shook her head.

"He's not what he's pretending to be." Logan said, turning to look at Kate.

The demon laughed, "Oh, she's a smart one. Seems she's something special too." The demon looked around the room, "Oh, the sides are well represented here aren't they. We have pure evil…that would be me. Then we have the boy wonder. The living contradiction, constantly fighting between what he was born to be and what he's destined to be," The demon then eyed Logan and smiled. "And then we have the other side completely…though I guess we can't call you pure good can we, but your not fighting a losing battle are you? According the Bible your side wins." The demon laughed, "Of course if you read our books…it says we win." The demon raised Kate's eyebrows, "Wanna guess which side I'm fighting for?"

Logan shook her head, "Right now it's the losing one, though I know for a fact those ropes aren't holding you in the chair."

Kate's laugh filled the room and then the demon stood, ropes simply falling away, "See I told you she was smart."

Sam took a step back and Dean reached for Logan, but she shook him off.

"The trap will hold him." Logan moved to the edge of the circle and watched the demon pace the small diameter of the circle. "What exactly are you doing here, Ipos?"

Shock shot across Kate's face, before Ipos schooled it back into disdainful nonchalance. "Perhaps that isn't my name."

Logan smiled and shook her head, "Perhaps it is and I believe since I know it and have you within a circle drawn by my own hand, you are required to answer my questions truthfully and without hesitation."

Bobby whistled and glanced at the boys with a wide smile, "Damn she's good."

Dean cocked a confused eyebrow at Sam and watched him shrug his response. "Ah, you mind filling us in here Logan…us mortals without the freaky eyes don't know what you're talking about."

Bobby glared, "Don't you read anything?" His eyes swung to Sam, "And I know you know some of it." Bobby sighed and scratched his beard, "Look, boys I haven't a damn clue how she knew who the hell is in there, but she's right about Ipos. Once he's stuck in a circle that she drew, he has to answer her questions."

Sam looked to Dean, "Ipos knows the past, present and future, but only one about each person. So, he might know Logan's past, but he won't know what's going on with her now or later. If he knows your future he has no clue about the future or what's happening now."

Dean shook his head, "Well that's strangely un-useful."

Ipos laughed and glared, "You know you really should just let me go."

Logan shook her head, "Why should we do that?"

Ipos pushed up against the barrier of the circle, "Because the one that sent me is going to be pissed off and you don't want to piss her off."

Logan arched her eyebrow, "Lilith?"

Ipos nodded.

Sam stepped up beside Logan, "What is it Lilith wants?"

Ipos laughed and crossed Kate's arms, "It really doesn't work that way, I don't have to answer anything except questions about past, present and future and I only have to answer the slut's questions."

Logan sighed, "Fine, I'll ask. What does Lilith want?"

"Still don't have to answer, but I will because it doesn't really matter. She wants to know a few things about you actually." Ipos sighed and sat back into the chair. "Something about you and her, but I don't see your past, only your present so she sent me to see if I could round anything up."

"What do you know about my present?" Logan leaned back against the counter and stared at the demon.

Ipos huffed and blew Kate's hair out of her eyes before leveling its gaze on Logan, "You do know that is the stupidest question don't you." It laughed, "The present is the most worthless of the options. I only see now and the worst part is after about an hour it's lost to me as a memory. I'll retain it as a fact if someone else tells me, but even this conversation becomes your past once we have it. I have about one hour to remember and then poof…gone. Sucks don't it?" Ipos studied Kate's nail, nonchalantly, "Now knowing the future is the best option, I have more time to play with, but even then I have no idea short term. Someone's tomorrow? Can't give you any information, but next week…next month….next year, those I know." The demon huffed, "The past, is good for some things, but why would you want me to tell you your past…hell you already know it."

Bobby huffed, "Let's just send this piece of shit back to where it came from."

Logan shook her head and glanced at her uncle, "Not yet." She turned back to the demon, "So, tell me. What do you know about Dean Winchester?"

Dean reached for Logan, "Logan, don't…I…"

Ipos interrupted with a barking laugh, "I see his future."

The room was suddenly silent, and every eye was pinned to the being in the circle.

Sam swallowed and looked nervously at his brother who he noticed was suddenly pale.

Dean's eyes shifted anxiously to Sam's and he shook his head slightly.

Sam's eyebrow shot up and his eyes pleaded silently with Dean, his lips parting as if to say something.

Dean felt the burning of tears in against his eyelids when he closed his eyes in frustration. He didn't' want to know…what if…it was too much and he turned toward the door, intent on leaving the cabin and going somewhere, anywhere to avoid hearing what he already knew…that he was going to die.

It was Bobby who caught his arm, "Son, you have a right to not hear, but he might have something to say you don't know."

Again, Ipos laughed as he swung Kate's head toward the two men standing by the door, "Dean Winchester your future is hinged."

Dean clenched his jaw and turned to face the being fully, "And what the hell does hinged mean?"

Ipos stood and walked Kate as close to Dean as it could. Kate's arms folded across her chest with her head cocked to the side, as Ipos regarded the man before him with his oily black eyes, "It means that there are several paths your soul can take. A door that swings around a central hinge can be stopped anywhere along its path, that is your journey." Black eyes moved to Logan's blue, "I see intersections along his path with the paths of those in this room, but that is all I know. His story has yet to be written."

Sam stepped up to the circle between the demon and Logan, "Me. What is it you see about me?" His voice and movements were desperate, "Logan ask him." He looked over at Logan. "Ask him about my future."

"Sam…" Dean began, taking a step toward his brother.

Dean stopped when Sam's head shook tensely, "Shut up, Dean." Sam stared into the circle and a wave of heat suddenly moved through the room, "Answer me, you piece of shit."

Dean would have sworn that the room vibrated with Sam's words.

Ipos's black eyes slid found Sam and he lowered Kate's head and her body shivered, "I will tell you Samuel Winchester what is written about you, but your future is not for me to know. Azazel chose you and because you were chosen, I can no more see your future than your past or present. Your humanity is tainted and unholy power pulses beneath your flesh. Baptized with fire and offered an unholy Eucharist as the one who gave you life looked on. You exist outside of my knowledge. Your path parallels mine and I have only prophesy to offer you."

Sam's face clearly spoke of his disappointment and frustration. His jaw clenched and his hands fisted at his sides. The room filled with tension, centered on the youngest Winchester. Again, heat flared out from Sam in waves as he stood staring into the circle. There was an almost audible crackle in the room as he took a deep breath and spoke. Words, strange and foreign fell from Sam's lips, "Mankoi naa lle sinome?"

The demon suddenly dropped to Kate's knees, eyes on the floor and answered in the same tongue, "Amin naa lle nai."

Sam watched the demon through slitted eyes. He watched as Kate shivered and glanced up at him, fear filling the deep black eyes.

Dean caught Logan's eyes.

She moved toward him and Bobby and stood facing the circle.

Dean leaned closer to her, "What the hell are they saying…I heard you use that some language before, so you know."

Bobby's eyes shot up, but he didn't say anything. He knew what the language was, and he could pick out a few words, but he had no idea how Sam knew it.

"Sam asked him why he was here and then Ipos told him he was at his command." Logan's voice was quiet and sure. Her eyes locked on Sam she held out a hand, palm toward him, "Sam's surrounded by something, but I don't know what…it's..." Logan shook her head, "I don' know…"

Sam moved toward the circle and stared at the demon, "Wethrinaer, Lle lava?"

Logan quickly translated, "Deceitful one, do you yield?"

The demon nodded, eyes still on the floor, "Q Ná!, Tura."

Logan's voice quiet again, almost simultaneous to the words, "May it be so, Master".

Bobby eyed Sam and pulled his flask from his pocket with one hand while he reached for the gun tucked into his belt with the other.

"Down Bobby, that's my brother you're eyeing like some evil bastard." Dean's voice was deathly quiet, but filled with a violent promise.

Bobby turned slightly to face the older Winchester. There was a sad determination in his eyes that made Dean swallow, "I know damn well who it is, boy. I also know what your father told me..." Bobby paused and stared Dean straight in the eye, "Us. That damn demon just called him Master. You just want to wait for him to turn on us?"

Dean grabbed the old hunter, "Fuck you Bobby." Dean shoved his shoulder against Bobby. "Sam's not turning on anybody." Dean fisted his right hand and took a defensive position between the man and his brother. "You'll have to kill me first."

It was Logan's hands, one on each of their shoulders that brought them back, "Sam isn't evil…there's something there, but he hasn't turned on us." She glanced over her shoulder at Sam and the circle. She'd missed some of their conversation and with her eyes, she could still see the odd aura surrounding Sam. It was bright and light, with a slight orange haze like his brother's and Bobby's but thick black tendrils were curling through it like flames lazily licking at wood…just waiting for a breeze to fan them into a full blaze. "Shut up I can't hear them." Logan ordered and struggled to catch Sam's quiet words.

Sam now stood directly in front of the demon and, "Kwentra amin i' iant beth."

Logan translated, "Tell me the old words." She turned to look at Dean, "Sam wants to know what the prophesy says about him."

Lyrical, singsong words poured from Kate's mouth. "Iant er tece. Uich gwennen na 'wanath ah na dhín. An uich gwennen na ringyrn ambar hen. Boe naid bain gwannathar, Boe cuil ban firitha."

Logan's words followed quickly behind, "You are not bound to loss and silence. For you are not bound to the circles of this world. All things must pass away. All life is doomed to fade. Sorrowing you must go, and yet you are not without hope."

"Farea!. Amin feuya ten' lle. N'ndengina ta asca. Morier, heca." Sam's voice rose in volume and a thrumming sound rang through the room.

Logan's eyes widened as she watched the black tendrils in Sam's aura quickly rise up in a sudden rush. She gasped as they flashed purple, but managed to get out, "Enough! You disgust me. Hurt no one and go now. Evil one, be gone."

Kate was suddenly pulled to her feet by an unseen force, her head fell back and a thick black smoke poured from her throat. It swirled around her and then even around Sam before exiting out through the chimney. Kate fell to the floor with a loud thump and lay motionless.

Logan's eyes were still on Sam. The purple aura faded and the bright, light, orange color returned, though a bit muddied with blue. She watched as Sam turned to face her and saw the guarded look slip across his face. It didn't matter, she could see his aura, knew he was afraid…afraid of what everything meant, of what he was and what his future held.

Sam blinked and turned from Logan's all too knowing eyes. Kate still lay in a heap on the floor and fear shot through him. He moved quickly to the circle and fell to his knees almost immediately pulling her into his lap.

A trickle of blood ran from her nose. She gasped once, her body suddenly tense. Kate's eyes opened and an anguished scream pierced the air…then just as suddenly she was limp in Sam's arms.

The only sound in the room was the almost silent sobbing coming from the man huddled on floor.

_**I know...again with the evil me.**_

_**The conversation between Ipos and Sam is actually a badly pieced together bit of ****Tolkien's Quenya**__** (High Elvish) and what is know as Grelvish. The prophesy is the lyric of a song on the The Two Towers soundtrack, **Breath of Life,** which was actually sung in Elvish, though the translation is correct.**_

_**I played with the the lore about Ipos. He's actually supposed to know the past, present and future for everyone, I thought this worked better for my story so I altered it...artistic license and all...**_

_**Please let me know what you think...I know you're angry at me, so tell me ;)**_


	53. Waiting and Catching Up

Kate was pale against the pillowcase and Sam sat beside her unmoving form. It had been four hours since Dean had helped Sam move her into the bedroom and lay her down on the bed. It had been four hours since Sam put the amulet around her neck. Four hours since he'd moved from the chair he'd pulled next to the bed and four hours since Sam had said anything or even looked away from Kate.

It was now six in the morning, and none of them had slept longer than ten minutes at a time. Logan stood in the kitchen refilling a mug from the half-empty coffee pot. She carried it back into the bedroom and put it on the table beside Sam. She put her hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze, and when he grabbed her hand, she startled. Her eyes dropped to his and she saw the fear in his eyes.

"She hasn't moved…why isn't she awake yet?" Sam asked as if she had the answers.

Logan gripped Sam's hand and knelt beside the chair. She offered him a hesitant smile, "I wish I knew." Her eyes shifted to the woman on the bed, "The only thing I can tell you is what I saw…the demon's gone and nothing of it remains inside her." Logan bit her lip and sighed, "She's strong, Sam."

Sam closed his eyes and whispered a silent prayer that Logan was right, "It's just been so long…what if he…what if she's…shit, this is all my fault. I don't like feeling so helpless."

Logan cocked her head at him and smiled, "Sam, this isn't your fault and it sucks, but don't go getting all pissed at yourself for something that wasn't your fault." She gave him a good-natured shove to the shoulder. "You hungry? I'm gonna make some pancakes."

Sam frowned at her, but nodded. "I could eat. What time is it anyway?"

Logan looked over at the clock, "Ten after six. Breakfast should be ready in about fifteen minutes." She stood, "I think there's some bacon too." Logan got the door and turned around. She watched as Sam grabbed Kate's hand and as he rested his elbows on his knees, she saw the fear and pain in his eyes. She wished there was something she could say, but there wasn't. Sam knew as well as she did; that sometimes something happened to the minds of people who have been possessed. Sometimes they didn't come back.

Logan pulled the door half-shut behind her and headed up the hall. She stopped when Dean exited the bathroom ahead of her. Steam billowed into the hallway as he stood bare-chested, in his jeans and toweled his hair dry.

"How're they doing?" Dean motioned to the bedroom.

Logan leaned against the wall and shrugged, "'Bout the same. Kate's still unconscious and Sam's still blaming himself."

Dean nodded, "Sam blames himself for everything…it's usually not his fault, but it is his modus operandi." Dean tossed his towel onto the sink and grabbed the t-shirt he'd left there. He pulled it over his head, "Bobby find anything that might help?"

Logan shook her head, "Not that I know of…I'm going to make breakfast, how about helping?" Logan grabbed Dean's hand and pulled him behind her.

Dean didn't move and when Logan stopped short, he tugged and yanked her into his arms. "Wait a minute." He tucked a damp strand of hair behind her ear, "Takes your hair for damn ever to dry." He said absently as he looked down at her. "How you doing?"

Logan closed her tired eyes and pressed her face into Dean's chest, inhaling the scent of him. She shrugged against him, "I'm alright…tired, sore, confused and pissed, but I'm okay."

Dean kissed the top of her head, "You talk to Bobby yet?" He tightened his arms around her.

Logan lifted her head from his chest and looked up as she put a few inches between them, "No. I started to, but he told me to hush that we'd talk later. I think he knows something." A short burst of panic lit her eyes, "I haven't told him the stuff about Finn yet…I'm not even sure what the hell to tell him…what do I say?"

Dean kissed her gently on the lips and then dropped his arms, "We ask Sam to tell us what happened, hell we still don't know most of it. It's not like he's been Chatty Cathy since we found them."

"Yeah, well let's hope he decides to talk."

Dean nodded, "He will." He smiled, "Now, how about breakfast…pancakes and bacon?"

Logan smiled, "Yep, pancakes and bacon." Logan turned and headed into the kitchen.

Dean followed behind her, hoping that today would be better than yesterday.

* * *

The smell of fresh coffee, and bacon drew Sam from his vigil and he arrived in the kitchen just as Logan was sliding the last of the bacon onto a plate.

They loaded their plates. Bobby and Sam sat at the counter while Dean and Logan leaned against the opposite counter.

It was Dean who spoke first, "Sammy, exactly what the hell happened?"

Sam took a huge bite of his pancakes. He chewed and swallowed as the other three stared at him. Finally, he answered, "The last thing I remember before waking up was Kate opening her door and then I woke up in pain. I was hanging from the wall by my shoulder, I was bleeding badly or at least it felt like I was. I was dizzy and disoriented and there was blood running down my chest. It was pitch black and I couldn't see a thing. I called for Kate and she managed to get to me." Sam took a sip of his coffee. "I told her to call you and she did. We talked then the next thing I know the lights are on, Kate's screaming and some guy is standing in front of me."

Bobby finished off a pancake and eyed Sam, "Who the hell was it?"

Sam sighed. "Well, I knew there was something wrong with him. Evil just poured off of him in waves. It made me feel dirty, but eventually he told me who he was. He said he was Finn."

Logan's fork paused for a second before she lifted it to her mouth and chewed the pancake. She tried not to make a face when it suddenly turned to ash in her mouth. She knew, but hearing Sam say it made her ill.

Bobby shook his head, "Now, Sam. That can't be right, it's probably just some demon scum playing games with you. Found one of Finn's bolts and thought it would be fun to make us chase our tails." Bobby put his fork down, "Because I know I put that boy down. I didn't want to, but I couldn't let him hurt Logan anymore. I told ya' I put a bullet straight through his head then I salted every body in the room and torched the place. I watched as the entire motel burned down. Everyone got out, except four men and two women." Bobby frowned, "Finn, Owen those other two boys, the girl and my sister."

Dean watched the three of them as he chewed his bacon. He knew that if Bobby said the shot was lethal, it was. Bobby didn't make mistakes like that. He also knew that if the body was salted and burned there was no spirit to wreck havoc. "Is there anyway he could have survived? Some trick or something that he might have used?"

Bobby shrugged, "Hell if I know, but I'm telling you I know he was down for good."

Sam held up his hand, "Look, I'm telling you he said he was Finn and I believed him." He took a deep breath, "He told me his father was Vetis and even though Yellow Eyes was dead Vetis wanted me out of the way so I wouldn't cause any problems. He knew about being possessed by Azazel, admitted to knowing what was done to Logan and he's Nephilim."

Bobby's jaw dropped. "He's what?"

Logan put her plate on the counter and picked up her coffee mug, "Nephilim. We've figured a few things out...and I know about what Mom and Dad did." She looked her uncle dead in the eye, "I know they summoned Vetis, I know he possessed Dad and I know Finn is half demon. What we didn't know was that Vetis was Grigori, which makes Finn a Nephilim."

Bobby stared at his niece and swallowed. He had no idea how Logan knew about her parents summoning the demon. "How'd you find out?"

Logan shivered and glanced at Dean. "I had a vision-mare…" She gave a little smirk, "…a sort of nightmare-vision combo that ended up with a gruesome wound on my side being healed, but during this thing Finn told me to remember my name and what it meant then he told me to remember his name too." Logan took a deep breath, "I saw the rituals Mom and Dad did." She made a face. "I saw them Bobby, I saw Mom summon the demon. I saw him possess Dad and then watched as they offered blood and had sex. Years later a similar thing, only it was an angel and I was conceived." She sighed. "I have no fucking clue why, but I think you might."

Dean's eyebrows shot up and he looked at his brother. Sam shrugged and looked to Bobby, "Do you know anything?"

Bobby looked at Sam then to Logan and Dean. He nodded slowly. "Yeah, I know some things…but none of you are going to like hearing them."

Logan leaned forward and gave Bobby a nasty look, "You've been keeping things from me?"

Bobby sighed and stood. He moved to the coffee pot and refilled his mug, "I'll tell you everything I know, but let's get comfortable. It's not a short story, girl."

_**Thanks for reading and more is coming. Please review, it only takes a few seconds and it keeps me writing :)**_

_**Thanks to everyone who reviews!**_


	54. Smile on the Schemes of the Wicked

**_WARNING: Contains violence, gore and mentions of rape as well as a_****_ngsty goodness..._**

Sam checked on Kate and returned to the kitchen with a scowl on his face. Dean shot Logan a glance as he picked up his mug and headed into the living room.

Logan shook her head before grabbing the coffee pot to refill her mug. She topped off Sam's and handed it to him before they made their way into the living room as well.

Bobby was sitting in the recliner while Dean had claimed the end of the couch furthest from him and he sat on the couch, legs outstretched and ankles crossed with his coffee mug held in his left hand. Logan settled herself beside him, leaving the opposite end of the couch for Sam.

Sam lowered his lanky body onto the couch with a weary sigh and then took a long sip from his mug. He let his eyes drift close as he realized just how exhausted he was. He felt Logan move beside him and he opened his eyes to see she was leaning forward, placing her mug on the table and staring at her uncle.

Bobby stared back and rubbed at his beard and then the back of his neck. He cleared his throat, "Logan, I don't know how you know what you do about your parents, because I only know the general idea about that, but you're right. Your parents did exactly what you said they did. You and your brother were born for reasons even I don't understand."

Logan sighed and rolled her head around her shoulders to relieve the tension she felt building. She watched her uncle fidget in his seat and wished that everyone would have been honest with her from the start. "Start from the beginning…just tell me what you know."

Bobby nodded tersely, took a sip from his mug and began. "Your mother, Amanda and me we started hunting after…" Bobby paused as a sad, faraway look crossed his face, "…well you know 'bout that. Anyway, you know how me and your mom met up with Owen, but I figure she never told you why we stopped hunting together did she?"

Logan shook her head and picked up her mug, "No. Only thing she ever said was that she fell in love with Dad and the three of you started hunting separately. I just figured it was because they were newly weds or something."

Bobby finished his coffee and set the mug on the hearth, "Naw, though I probably would've made myself scarce for awhile if that was it. The reason was the way your father chose to hunt. I never agreed with how he did things, in fact there were many hunters who felt he was as bad as the things we hunted." Bobby glanced at the brothers, "Your dad was one of 'em. He never appreciated what Owen did, but he held his tongue around me because Amanda was my sister." Bobby glanced at his feet before continuing. "Just so you boys know. Owen managed to rescue Amanda and me when some Norse goddess captured and almost drowned us, of course then he managed to kill her."

Dean sipped his coffee, "So, he saved your ass. Hunters occasionally do that for each other." He snorted, "Hell, you've saved mine a time or two."

Bobby snorted, "Yeah, that's because you are like I was then; young and dumb and full of…" he blushed and glanced at his niece, "…well full of stupidity. See, this was a goddess…not easy to kill, ah hell, there wasn't much information on how to kill her, but Owen managed to do it. He never told me or Amanda how, just told us he got lucky." Bobby looked at Logan, "It wasn't until after you were born that your mother found out exactly how he did it."

"He made a deal didn't he?" Sam asked quietly, his eyes boring into the side of his brother's head.

Three sets of eyes swung toward him but Bobby answered, "Yep, he made a deal with Vetis. Stupid fool promised him his firstborn son in return for the knowledge and ability to kill the Norse bitch. He never told Amanda, not even when he convinced her to summon him, swore to her it was for protection, but by that time, Amanda was summoning for him frequently. She felt it was only fair that they use everything at their disposal to fight evil." Bobby sighed and scratched thoughtfully at his beard, "Even if it meant using evil itself."

Dean sat up and narrowed his eyes at the old hunter, "So, your sister and her husband summoned demons and made deals with them for what, information?"

Bobby and Logan nodded, but Logan added, "My mom was good at summoning. She taught me everything she knew. They'd research and then summon, set some kind of deal and then get information to take out whatever evil they were after at the time." She shrugged, "They didn't do it all the time, but they used it often enough."

Dean turned in his seat and offered Logan a skeptical smile, "You didn't think there was anything wrong with this? I mean you were solving problems by repeatedly calling and dealing with demons…it's crazy."

"You mean like Dad summoning Yellow Eyes and dealing for your life or you calling a crossroads demon to deal for mine?" Sam offered sarcastically while he dropped his head back onto the sofa.

"That's different, Sam. I mean it was for your life…it was our choice." Dean leaned around Logan to stare at his brother.

"Pot and kettle, bro…pot and kettle…" Sam sighed.

"Boys! Cut it out, this isn't helping." Bobby snapped.

A petulant duet of, "Yes, sir." Came from the boys.

"Look, I'm trying to explain, so both of you shut up and listen…" Bobby sat back into his seat and drummed his fingers on the armrests of the chair. He nodded when the boys stayed quiet. "Good, now pay attention. So, Amanda summons the demon and nine months later Finn was born. Everything seems fine. Finn was your typical kid, never did anything a normal child wouldn't…He was a lot like you two, always getting into trouble, but never anything unusual. Minded his manners and ate his vegetables." Bobby paused as a hint of pain and sorrow crept into his face and voice, "He grew up into a fine young man, and I loved him like he was my own."

Dean suddenly found Logan's hand gripping his own and he knew she was remembering her brother. He knew she was thinking about what he did and what Bobby had to do. He stroked her hand with his thumb.

"Things go on fine and three years later your mom has you. You were beautiful as a kid and always so happy. You were the apple of your father's eye, girl. Owen's world revolved around you and he was your hero." Bobby glanced at his niece's face then at the ground to avoid the emotion he saw there.

Logan felt her throat tighten as the tears started to gather in her eyes and she wiped at them before they could fall. She had loved her father, she still did and Bobby was right he had been her hero. She took a deep breath, "When did you find out?"

Bobby sighed and rubbed at his neck. "After you were born Amanda started having spells."

Sam sat up and leaned forward as his eyes move from Logan and his brother to Bobby, "What kind of spells?"

"We didn't know and I only found out 'cause she called me and told me she'd been losing time. She was worried because she had no memory of what was going on. The only thing she knew as that she felt lost." Bobby grunted. "I took her to see Missouri."

Dean nodded, "What did she see?"

Bobby looked to his niece, "Missouri's gift is seeing things and see things she did. She said that Amanda's soul was marked from carrying a half-demon child and that the mark made it easy for demons to latch onto it. She went on to say that carrying her daughter, the one with the hollow soul, had damaged the silver cord binding Amanda's soul to her body. Because of the damage to the cord and the marking of her soul, she was a sitting duck for wandering demons."

"Wait a minute." Sam sat forward, "So carrying Finn marked her soul and carrying Logan damaged it?"

Bobby cocked his head thoughtfully, and then nodded. "Yep. Missouri also told her that during her spells it was her soul that was wandering and she should stay away from mirrors during that time as they allowed demons access to the soul." Bobby snorted, "Course, they only can get in if the soul is weak, damaged or willing and with the damage Owen caused to my Amanda's soul she had a flashing vacancy sign hanging over her head."

Dean grabbed Logan's arm, "So, that's what was going on with you and the mirror…Sam was right you were projecting."

"Dammit Logan, when did this start happening?" Bobby stood and glared down at his niece.

"Just the other day…I mean it's only happened once and I had no clue what it was. It was after I had my nightmare/vision and the big ugly wound on my side disappeared only to become a slightly smaller scar of the rune Uruz." Logan absently fingered the rune on her left side as she spoke.

"Uruz? Huh. You idjits consider that means something?" Bobby sank back into the chair and looked at the three young hunters across from him. "I mean it's not everyday you wake up with an ancient sigil etched on your body is it?"

"Sure, Bobby we know what it means…most interesting thing is it's reversed. I mean it could mean something outright, or it could symbolize something else entirely. Runes are funny that way and unless you know which way to read them you're kinda' stuck guessing." Sam answered smoothly, eyes still half closed and head resting on the back of the sofa.

Bobby nodded, "Good boy. Just checking…reversed, that is pretty interesting though ain't it?"

Logan felt there was more to what her uncle knew and while she wasn't sure she wanted to know she had to ask, "What else do you know, Uncle Bobby?"

"From what your mother told me later she went home and confronted Owen. He admitted to the demon deal." Bobby paused and watched Logan, "His reasoning for agreeing to it was that he never planned on having kids, but he couldn't resist when your mother all but begged to have a child. Before he agreed, he sought out any, and all information about Vetis and any prophesy surrounding him. He did find one. An old prophesy that links a son of Vetis with a daughter of Iaoth." Bobby stopped and sat up before continuing, "_A son of Vetis will rise from among the sons of men and leave fiery death in his path, but behold a daughter of Iaoth will rescue the stolen souls of man from the Wanderer of Night and the Great Tempter of the Innocent. For she carries with her Iaoth's strength and her soul will know no boundary between earth, paradise and perdition."_

"So's that's why Owen goes and summons Iaoth? So he can try to save his son?" Dean's anger was a palpable presence in the room. He was pissed at Owen. He didn't just make choices that affected him. They hurt his wife, I mean come on he damaged her soul. He totally screwed up his son and then who knows what's going on with Logan. He refused to admit that what he did was anywhere close to what Owen did. He only dealt with his own soul and while he knew the consequences might hurt others, he wasn't risking them.

Bobby was tired but he nodded, "Yeah, he wanted to fix what he started. He just ended up making things worse." He looked over to Logan, "Look, Logan I have no clue what your mother and father did after Amanda confronted Owen. I told her I would help her, but I wouldn't be part of their summoning, but I do know that the morning before…well before your family was killed Amanda called me. I was in the middle of a hunt and I didn't get the message until late in the evening, but I packed up and headed out first thing."

Logan gasped and sat up straight looking at her uncle, "Mom called you?"

Bobby nodded, "She knew something was going to happen, have no clue how, but I have my suspicions."

Logan was quiet, her voice almost emotionless, "Tell me what happened."

Bobby nodded and began his story.

"I was out west, hunting some shapeshifter. Found him too; put him down in the middle of the desert. I finally managed to drag back into my motel around suppertime and it was then that I thought to check my messages. Only one call and it was from Amanda. I didn't think much of it at first since she'd call every now and then just to say hi. I opened a beer and listened to the message."

Bobby shook his head and closed his eyes. "Amanda was hysterical, 'We need your help desperately. Logan and Finn are in trouble, Bobby. We're at the Park Motel outside Tupper Lake, NY. Look for the camper. Please, Bobby…hurry.'"

"I drove thirty hours straight through. I got there about midnight, maybe a little before. At first, I saw Finn's truck parked in front of cabin 12, and the RV was between 12 and 14. I paused by 12, the door was open but no one answered so I checked it out. I found some girl dead…just butchered up in the bathtub and I knew something was wrong."

"I moved to 14, listened by the door and when I heard Finn laughing, I thought maybe you'd managed to take care of things. That you all might be okay." Bobby shivered, "I knocked. I heard someone cry, at the time, I didn't know it was you Logan, but you were crying and begging. Then I heard a sharp slap and Finn's voice again, sounding all low and threatening. I knew somethin' was wrong…deep down inside I knew it. But when Finn pulled the curtain from the window and I saw his bloodied face and cruel smile I knew beyond a doubt he was possessed."

Bobby stopped and looked up at Logan, "You sure you want to hear the rest of this? It ain't pretty."

Logan knew what was coming. She'd lived it, but she nodded and imperceptibly moved closer to Dean. She cleared her throat, "It's…I'll be fine."

Bobby raised an eyebrow but continued. "Finn pulled the door open with a big smile and the smell…god, I wish I could forget the smell. Makes me wanna' vomit here and now." His eyes were on Logan, "That smell…blood, piss, shit, sex and terror it hit me like a brick. It actually made me take a step backward it was that damn strong. I backed up reciting the Roman Ritual and then I quickly salted all the thresholds and sills from the outside to keep the fuckers where they were."

Bobby absently rubbed at his beard. "I rounded up my weapons and pushed into the room. It was a mess. Bodies on the floor, Amanda lay on the floor in a limp heap, too pale to be alive, half her blood on the bed and floor beneath her. Owen sat tied to the chair, his vacant eyes staring at the floor with cuts and burns covering every inch of his body." Bobby sighed, "The other two demons had slit the throats of the boys they were controlling and those two lay on the floor bleedin' out in front of me as the demons poured out through a window high up in the eave of the cabin. Finn, though, he just stood there. He was smiling as he stepped between Logan's legs, fly open and touchin' himself. He stared at me, yellow eyes looking at me."

"He knew who I was. I knew he was the damn demon John was after and he smiled at me, 'You're gonna' have to kill him, Singer.' He taunted me while he moved closer to Logan."

"God, Logan…you were just so torn up. I was shocked you were still alive girl. It broke my heart to see you there. Your eyes were all but swollen shut. They'd cut you and burned you over and over. It was hard for me even to tell it was you. I really wasn't sure until you begged me to make him stop and not let him hurt you."

"I was crying by then, just like I am now." Bobby paused and wiped at his eyes. "I was so angry and hate was eatin; me up inside. I pulled an old colt from my belt and pointed it at Finn's head. I told him to leave the boy…said that there were better body's out there. I begged him to just leave Finn alone and not hurt you."

"That piece of shit cocked his head and smiled at me, 'Offer me a deal, Singer…' I shook my head and cocked the gun, 'No deal, then you'll have to shoot your beloved nephew in the head, just like you shot your wife.' Finn laughed at me again and moved over you Logan."

Bobby paused and caught his breath as emotion threatened to overwhelm him, "He was getting ready to…to hurt you again. I couldn't let him do it and I didn't know how to make him stop. He kept taunting me. 'Ah, poor man has to shoot those he loves…You better shoot him fast, because I'm gonna fuck her…again.'"

Bobby was shaking now. Neither Sam nor Dean had ever seen him so shook up before. He wiped at his eyes and then looked back at Logan. "He was smiling so cruel at me and then leering down at you I couldn't help it Logan. I had to help you, to save you before those damn demons took away the last bit of family I had. I told you both I was sorry and then I pulled the trigger. Like I said before then I salted and burned the place down."

The room was quiet, except for the sound of an occasional hitched breath. Logan wiped at her eyes, exhaustion and emotion making the tears come more easily than usual. Somehow, she realized just then, Dean had managed to slip an arm around her shoulder and pull her into his side. She was grateful for the solid warmth, felt it helped ground her and felt that just having him beside her was making her stronger.

Sam was sitting deathly still, his hands fisted on his lap, jaw clenched as he stared at the old hunter across the room. He inhaled harshly, "So, Amanda knew. She knew something was going to happen and she allowed it. She didn't try to stop it? She let herself and her daughter suffer that kind of abuse. She let herself die, let her husband die, her son be possessed, and she knew all along? What kind of fucking mother would do that?" He barked out an angry laugh, "And don't think for one second I don't think that Owen knew either, dumb shit that he was." Sam ran his hands roughly through his hair, "Fuck! What kinds of parents do that?"

Bobby understood the boy's anger. He'd felt the same way. He looked Sam in the eye, "She knew something, but I don't think she knew exactly what was going to happen." He shook his head. "I have to think that. Amanda was a good mother and she loved her kids. She would've given her life for either of them. I honestly think they got screwed over by some demon. Summoned one of those nasty pricks for information and ended up bein' lied to." Bobby shrugged, "It's the only thing that makes any kinda' sense to me."

Dean nodded. "You know that does make sense." He motioned to Sam, "Hey, didn't you say that Finn wanted to kill you because Vetis wanted you out of the way…you might screw up his plan even though Azazel was dead?"

Sam looked at his brother as things started to fall into place. He nodded. "So if Finn was acting on behalf of Vetis. Maybe in the past Azazel was acting on his own behalf. It makes sense to try to screw up Vetis' plan. If he was trying to take out Finn before he was old enough to be a powerful ally for his father then all he would have to do is wait until his own special children grew up." Sam smiled, "Only we fucked up his plan."

Logan sat and glared. "My parents were idiots, but there is that prophesy isn't there? Mom's pregnancies screwed her soul and mine seems to be able to wander about the earth like Kane," Logan's voice was raising and its pitch was increasing. She waved her arms around her erratically, "Oh, of course I have yet to figure out how that all works and until then my soul might just go wandering into the never-never." She panted and looked wildly around the room.

Dean put his hands on her shoulder and made hushing sounds at her.

Logan shoved Dean hard on the shoulder, "Don't tell me to hush. Don't fucking tell me anything. What right do you have?" Logan stood up and moved behind the couch, "Shit. Why did my parents have to be such stupid idiots? Fuck them. Fuck Finn…" she turned and glared at Dean, "…and fuck you." Logan collapsed on herself, sobbing suddenly as the dam broke inside her.

Dean stared, anger in his eyes. He was hurt and part of him new Logan was just overwhelmed and scared, but he didn't care. He got up from the couch, moving to stand by the fire as he tried to get his own thoughts and emotions under control.

Bobby stood and put his hand on Dean's shoulder, planning to calm the young hunter, but Dean shook him off.

"Don't Bobby." Dean swung his eyes to the older man, "Just don't." He looked over to Logan, "She's angry. I get that, but I didn't do it to her, so she has no damn right to be pissed at me. When she's ready to talk fine, until then I'm going for a damn walk." He turned to look at Logan. He could see her anger and when he caught her eyes she glared at him.

Dean, paused to thrust his feet in his boots, but didn't bother to tie them before he grabbed his jacket and headed out the door. He was angry, hurt and exhausted; he needed to sleep. Hell they all needed sleep. He headed toward the parking lot. It wouldn't be the first time he'd slept in the back of the car. He looked over his shoulder just in time to see the curtain pull away from the window, Sam. He held his keys over his head and shook them. Sam would know where he would be. That was enough for now.

**_Let me know what you think...my muse thrives on reviews so come on review, please. _**


	55. The Bro Code

Sam let the curtain fall back over the window, but his head still rested against the glass. Dean would be in the car, it's where he figured he'd end up, but it was good to know. He sighed and turned back toward the living room.

Bobby was back in the recliner, only now he'd opened it. His hat was low over his eyes and the sawed off shotgun was resting across his lap.

Sam knew he'd sleep like that, just like he knew if he heard anything the old hunter would be on his feet in a second ready to fight. He didn't see Logan and he figured she was in the bathroom. He headed back to the bedroom as the need to check on Kate pulled him forward. He paused by the bathroom when he heard Logan sobbing. He knocked, "Logan? You gonna be alright?"

"Leave me alone Sam, please…I'll be fine." Her voice muffled from the door as well as from her tears.

Sam sighed. He wished he could do something. "If you need anything…well let me know." Sam didn't wait for her to reply simple moved down the hall to the bedroom.

The door was still open, and he pushed it closed behind him. He was getting more concerned with Kate's continued sleep. He slipped into the small bathroom and sighed when he saw himself in the mirror. He noticed the dampness on the shoulder of his t-shirt and realized he'd never taken care of the wound. Shit, he was tired.

He pulled the shirt over his head and winced at the wound. It wasn't the worse he'd ever had, but it was enough. There was a clean hole through from front to back. One more scar on his body wouldn't bother him, but he knew it needed to be cleaned and dressed or it might get infected.

He used the restroom, checked on Kate, who still hadn't moved as far as he could tell, then he left the room and headed back toward the bathroom in the hall. He knocked on the door and couldn't help but smile when Logan groaned.

"Saaammm, leave me alone…please."

"Logan. My shoulder needs dressed and Bobby's snoring in the living room. I was hoping you could help me out." Sam leaned against the door. "You gonna make me wake the old man up and risk getting my ass filled with rock salt, or you gonna help me?"

"Ahhuuuh," Logan growled, "Fine, the door's open."

Sam opened the door and found Logan neck deep in the bath. She'd pulled her hair up in a ponytail, high on her head and it fell to one side, limp from the humid air. The tops of her knees were above the water and her arms rested across her belly. Sam tried not to look, but Dean was right. Female nudity required his attention and no matter how hard he tried to avert his eyes they kept returning to her skin. There was just too much of her skin, because he kept seeing it…everywhere he looked.

"Um, Logan. Why don't we wait until you're finished with your bath?" Sam blushed from head to toe.

Logan rolled her head, which was resting on the back edge of the tub and looked up at him. She sighed, "First, I'm planning on staying in here as long as possible and second, what's the big deal? This isn't the first time you've seen me naked. Hell you've seen more of me before than you're seeing now." Logan glanced down at herself, "Seriously, I'm practically covered."

Sam shook his head and smirked, "You are either incredibly naïve or incredibly stupid."

Logan snorted, "No, I simply think men need to learn to think with their upstairs brain and ignore their downstairs brain. Come on Sam, think of me as a sister."

Sam looked her straight in the eyes, "You know if I had a sister she wouldn't be walking around naked in front of me…or at least I hope not." Sam dropped his gaze to the floor.

"You don't go all red when you catch Dean in the nude…what's the difference?" Logan was enjoying needling him. It was giving her something to occupy her troubled mind.

"Ah, Dean naked doesn't make me…get me…" Sam felt himself blush again, "…shit Logan why am I telling you this?" He ran a hand through his hair nervously, "I'll just go wake up Bobby." Sam dropped his hand to the doorknob.

"Wait. I told you I'd help so I'll help. Hand me a towel. The quicker we do this the quicker I can get back to my bath." Logan stood and held out a hand.

Sam grabbed a towel from the shelf on the wall and without thinking, he turned to hand it to Logan. Caveman brain over rode modern man brain and he stared. He knew Logan was hot, he had eyes and as she said he'd seen her naked before, but hell he was male. "Shit Logan, again I don't need to see this."

Logan wrapped the oversized towel around herself and chuckled, "Again Sam, you've seen it before." She pushed gently past him and glanced up at his face. "I won't bite you know." She opened the door and moved to get the box of supplies.

Sam released his breath through clenched teeth as his body reacted. He couldn't help it, even as tired as he was he had no control. "Dean's right. You are damn evil."

He heard Logan chuckle and followed her into the kitchen. "Logan, don't you think you really should put some clothes on? I mean Bobby's right across the room."

Logan sighed, "Look, you say one more thing about my lack of clothing and you're doing this yourself. I told you it's not a big deal. Just sit down and shut up."

Sam sat on the stool and willed himself to relax. He watched Logan move and finally gave up and closed his eyes. He jumped when she touched his shoulder and jerked at the sharp pain as she probed the wound gently. "Damn…that hurts."

"Shh. You'll live. You know Finn once shot Dad with one of his bolts…it was before he started poisoning them, but it went straight through Dad's forearm and bled like a son-of-a-bitch. It nicked an artery and Dad almost died." Logan pulled a bottle of whiskey from the box and opened it. She held it to her lips and took a long drink before she held the bottle to Sam.

Sam took the bottle and copied Logan only to cough and spit when the liquor burned down his throat. With eyes watering, he managed hoarsely, "What'd you tell the hospital?"

Logan smiled and tipped the bottle again before answering, "That they were prepping for the Renaissance Faire." She giggled and pulled out a pack of gauze.

Sam raised an eyebrow, "Don't think we've ever used that one, but it's a good excuse…have to remember it." Sam watched Logan prep the supplies, "Hell, I hate whiskey…it burns like hell. Wish we'd buy actual disinfectant."

Logan smiled, "Well, you see I was taught that whiskey serves two purposes and it's cheap. You can clean any wound with it and it works as well as any of the shit they have out there, plus you can use it for the prevention of pain. And hell, if you just ever want to get drunk it's there."

"Makes sense." Sam nodded, "Still hurts like hell."

"Speaking of which, lean over so I can get to your back." Logan grabbed four or five gauze squares and hefted the bottle.

Sam bent forward and bit his lip as Logan placed the gauze on his chest and then poured the whiskey over the hole in his back.

Sam arched his back and groaned quietly as the whiskey burned through his shoulder. He hissed, "Fuck, that hurts…" his eyes were watering again and he'd somehow fisted his hands in the towel at Logan's waist and dropped his head onto her shoulder.

Logan pulled the gauze from Sam's chest and blotted up the excess from his back. She was tight up against Sam's side and with his hands at her hips, she suddenly realized just how little clothing she was wearing. His shoulders pressed against to top of her chest and her breath caught in her throat. "Um, Sam…wanna' let go?"

Sam came to the realization of their position as the front door opened.

"What the hell?" Dean's angry voice made the two jump, even as he slammed the door behind him.

Logan dropped the gauze and grabbed her towel as Sam sat up and swiveled to the door. She backed up a step and felt heat blossom across her chest and face.

Bobby was out of the chair with the shotgun cocked and aimed at the door before Dean had even slammed it shut.

"Shit, Dean…you fucking scared the hell outa' me." Sam stood and swiped a hand over his face.

"And it's a good thing my reflexes aren't as quick as my eyesight boy, or you woulda' been pickin' rock salt outa' your ass all damn day. Shit boy, watch yourself." Bobby mumbled before settling back down into the chair with the shotgun and pulling his hat back over his eyes.

Dean glared at his brother and Logan. "What the hell is going on?" He noticed Logan grab at her towel, saw the blush across her face and chest and felt righteous in his anger. He snorted, "Was that the plan? Piss me off so you two could be alone?"

Sam laughed, thinking Dean was joking, "Yeah, I couldn't wait to get you out of the cabin so I could get Logan naked while Kate's unconscious in the next room and Bobby's sleeping in the chair across the room." He rolled his eyes.

Dean was across the room and in his brother's face in seconds, but as he got closer, he realized the first aid supplies were on the counter and whiskey was running down his brother's chest. He paused and his expression went from angry to confused in seconds. He looked over at Logan.

"I was just seeing to his shoulder." Logan hated the look in Dean's eyes.

Dean was still replaying what he'd seen when he opened the door. Sam's head pressed into Logan's neck, his hands at her hips and her arms around his shoulders. If Sam wouldn't have been shirtless and Logan wouldn't have been naked except for a towel, Dean might've believed it was a simple expression of grief and comfort. Hell, Sam was all for the chick-flick moments so he wouldn't have been surprised one bit…but shirtless and towel wearing?

Dean motioned to the towel, "What? You have a wound that needs dressing too?" Sarcasm dripped from each word.

"Dean…I…"

Dean interrupted, "You what Logan? What excuse could you possibly have to hit on my brother?"

Logan flushed again, this time in anger.

"Dean that's not fair." Sam's voice was quiet, but sure.

Dean turned to face his brother, "And you…you're my brother. What the hell do you think you're doing?"

There was a quiet click that the three immediately recognized as the chamber of a shotgun opening and closing and all eyes turned toward the living area.

Bobby was still reclined in the chair, but now the shotgun was pointing in the direction of the threesome by the kitchen, "If the three of you don't shut the hell up and let an old man sleep I'm gonna shoot all your assess full of salt." Bobby raised his hat from his eyes, "Look son, Logan's an idiot, but she's not stupid enough to make a play for your brother right in front of me. Now, your brother on the other hand…well he's a healthy young man. Seems to me he even tried to tell her that, but she's stubborn as hell. I figure you'd know that by now, though."

Bobby sighed. "Look, Logan was just helpin' him…though she shoulda' put some clothes on to do it, or hell Sam coulda' asked me to do it." Bobby leveled his gaze on Sam, "Woulda' saved all of us a hell of a lot of trouble and I'd be sleepin' again by now."

Dean held up his hands and smiled at Bobby. "Okay, okay, can you lower the damn weapon now?"

Bobby glared, "Only if the three of you are done with the Days of Our Lives routine."

The three young hunters glanced at each other and nodded.

Bobby nodded back, uncocked the weapon and pulled his hat back over his eyes. "Now shut the hell up and get some sleep."

Dean looked glanced at his brother, "Sit the hell down so I can finish you up."

Sam sighed, adrenaline rush fading and sank back on the stool.

Dean looked over at Logan, "Shower?"

She glanced down at her towel and shook her head, "Bath."

He sighed, "Well, why don't you go finish."

Logan nodded and headed back to the bathroom.

When Dean heard the door shut, he turned back to his brother. He grabbed the whiskey and took a long drink before pouring a bit onto his hands and rubbing them together. "You know I'm gonna' have to close this up right?"

Sam looked up at his brother and nodded, "Kinda' figured as much."

Dean pulled the suture from the box and smiled sadly. He had to open a new pouch. He glanced at the package. It was the good stuff and it would dissolve on its own. He dabbed Sam's back with the whiskey soaked gauze and pulled the sides together. "Two on each side, ready?"

Sam nodded and then hissed when the needle bit into his skin. "I freakin' hate that."

Dean chuckled, "You wouldn't be normal if you liked it…hell what am I saying. You've never been normal."

"Jerk."

"Bitch."

Sam winced as Dean tied the first knot and cut the suture to place the next. "Why'd you come back?"

Dean sighed, "My girl's locks are frozen shut…can you believe it she denied me?"

Sam rolled his eyes, "She's a car Dean, not a girl."

"See, now that's the reason she doesn't like you driving her. That right there." Dean tied off the next stitch and cut the ends before stepping back and around to his brother's chest, "You don't know how to sweet talk her. She likes to be appreciated."

"Sorry, I didn't realize." Sam turned his head as Dean slid the needle into his skin. "Should I tell Logan to be jealous?"

"You love to live dangerously don't you Sammy. Slightly ticked off older brother with a needle mean anything to you?" Dean's words didn't match his almost playful tone.

"Are you still ticked off? I mean nothing was going on." Sam looked up at his brother even though it was awkward in their current positions. "Even if I wanted Logan, I wouldn't do that to you. It's against the code, man."

Dean stepped back and looked at his brother. "There's a code?"

Sam shook his head, "You know what I mean, jackass. Brother's don't make plays for each other's girls."

"Seriously, there's a code?" Dean smiled and finished the final knot before cutting the last thread and stepping back. "If I knew there was a code I would've read it and memorized it and repeated it back to you ad nauseum when I needed you to do something for me or you even got close to breaking it."

Sam laughed, "That would be just what I needed. You repeating rules back to me…do you ever obey the rules?"

Dean put the extra suture back into the box and pulled out antibiotic cream and two large Band-Aids. After smearing cream onto each of the white pads in the center of them, he put one Sam's back and one over the matching wound on his chest. "Only when it's to my benefit…otherwise I just ignore them."

Sam snorted, "So, you'd make a play for Kate?"

Dean grabbed the whiskey and ignoring that it wasn't even eight o clock in the morning yet, he took another long drink before screwing the cap back on. "I really hope you aren't serious, because while I think Kate is hot and all she isn't worth it."

Sam drew himself up; insulted by his brother, he opened his mouth, but Dean held up his hand before he could respond.

"Dude, calm down…I mean it wouldn't be worth hurting you, Sammy. You're my brother and it's my job to watch out for you, keep you safe, even if it's from me." Dean turned and started putting the supplies back in the box. He glanced back at Sam, "And before this goes any further I just want to point out that I'm exhausted so I take only a limited amount of responsibility for what's coming out of my mouth." He pushed the box down the counter and moved toward the hall, "In other words, this moment…this chick-flick moment here…it never happened."

Sam nodded, "What happened?"

Dean turned and winked at his brother, "Exactly, Sammy…what happened?"

**_Info on Kate is coming...but this chapter was begging to be written, though I'm not sure I like it as much as I thought I would. Okay, so feed my muse if it pleases you._**


	56. Rising from the Darkest Shadows

Logan relaxed back into the tub. She loved baths, but rarely took the time to enjoy one. Baths weren't for getting clean, though of course, you did that, but baths were about relaxation. There was something so sensual about the feel of warm water caressing every intimate part of her body. She settled the cold washcloth over her eyes, hoping it helped with her tear-swollen eyes and considered whether to drain the tub a bit so she could add more hot water.

She heard the door open, and click close. She hadn't bothered to lock it knowing that Dean would find his way into the room lock or not, but that didn't mean she had to acknowledge his presence. She stayed the way she was, eyes closed, washcloth over them and pretended to be asleep.

She knew he was there, but he was so quiet it was starting to annoy her. She couldn't figure out what he was doing. After what felt like ten minutes, but was probably more like one, she pulled the washcloth from her eyes and turned toward the door.

Dean stood, leaning against the wall watching Logan. A slow smile slid across his face when she turned to look at him, "You lasted longer than I thought you would."

Logan threw the washcloth at him and when he caught it Logan frowned, "You know your brother's right."

Dean moved to the tub and lowered himself to sit on the edge and trail his fingers into the warm water, "Sam? Right about something?" He shook his head, "That's rare."

Logan watched his hand move through the water, "Funny. He's right about you being a jerk."

Dean laughed and pulled his hand from the water, "Well, that's because he's a bitch." He let the drops from his fingers fall over Logan's breasts.

Logan sat up and pulled her knees to her chest. She sighed, wrapped her arms around her legs and turned her head to face Dean as she rested her cheek on her knees, "What do you want?"

Dean frowned and gently traced Logan's cheekbone, "Nothing. I just wanted to check on you. Make sure you're doing okay."

Logan felt the tears again. She was sick of crying. She closed her eyes and released a heart-heavy sigh, "I'm fine, really." She opened her eyes, caught his green gaze, "I'm sorry."

Dean nodded, "I know. We're all just tired. So, how about getting out so we can go to bed."

Logan considered refusing and staying in the tub, but she was tired. She stretched out her legs and took the hand Dean held out to her. She climbed from the tub and let him wrap the towel around her.

"I grabbed our bags from the bedroom and hell, I even changed the damn sheet on the bed in the loft." Dean toed at Logan's pack. "Clean clothes."

Logan smiled and dried herself before pulling on a pair of sleep pants and a t-shirt. She caught Dean's raised eyebrows at her choice of sleepwear. "Hey, Bobby's in the living room and I'm not about to give you any ideas."

Dean pulled her into his arms. "Wouldn't matter, even if you were interested…I'm to damn tired to follow through."

Logan yawned against his chest, "Good, because I know I'm too tired."

Dean opened the door and grabbed their bags as he followed Logan up to the loft. Logan settled into the bed as he stripped to his boxers and t-shirt and then climbed in beside her.

Logan was snuggled against his chest before he even got comfortable.

Dean didn't complain, just pulled her against him and sighed when she threw a leg of his thigh. He kissed her temple, "Don't you ever walk around half-naked in front of my brother again."

Logan giggled softly, "And if I do?" Her voice was mumbled against his chest.

"I'll make sure you learn a lesson about sex in public..." Dean's tone was teasing.

"Umm, what if I…ah…end up liking it?" Logan whispered softly.

Dean felt her relax against him and he smiled and whispered, "That's what I'd be hoping for, baby…that's what I'd hope for."

* * *

Sam pushed the door shut behind him and shucked his pants on the way to the bed. He kicked them into the corner and pulled back the comforter. He lay on his side, facing Kate. He stared down at her from an elbow before pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Kate, I'm so sorry…I should've kept you safe…" Sam turned her face toward his and cupped her cheek as he ran his thumb across her lower lip. He felt a tear fall from his cheek and he ignored it, "Please wake up, baby. Please be okay."

Sam pulled her against his chest and sobbed; sobbed out his heartbreak. Everyone he loved or might've loved ended up dead. He tried so hard to stay strong for Dean and for himself, but it was getting harder and harder. He knew he was a broken mess. He knew he was falling apart a little at a time.

Sam let the tears fall, he let the memories come, and taking comfort in the warm body that he pressed against his side. He inhaled the scent of her, of Kate, and he cried into her hair.

He'd never known his mother; dead before he was old enough to grasp he ever knew her, but he saw how Dad and Dean acted when she came up in conversation. Watched the pain flash across their faces and he knew without any doubt that he loved her too.

Dad, god how he missed him. He missed everything about him, even fighting with him and he'd give anything to be able to scream at him one last time. He was also angry with him. He understood why he did what he did, but he left, just like everyone else in his life - he left. Left him to try to figure out what his future held. Left him to fight what Azazel chose him to become, left him to save Dean by himself. Sam cursed silently, took a deep breath and wiped at his eyes.

Dean. Dean was going to leave him soon and he was pissed at the fact. Pissed because his brother had taken his place. He was alive because his stupid brother couldn't leave well enough alone. Sam closed his eyes. Sometimes he hated his brother. He'd shoot him, it would make him feel better, but he'd still end up alone.

Dean kept him at a distance even when all Sam wanted was to feel connected to him…needed it like the air he breathed. Sure, Dean was his brother and they'd always have that bond. The one that their father had cultivated over the years. He could still hear their father's words, "Take care of your brother Dean…Listen to Dean, Sammy…he's only watching out for you. Stick together boys, you need each other."

It was always the two of them. Hell, Dean had raised him. He was often more of a father than their dad was. Of course, that might explain why he did the same thing…why Dean made a deal with the devil just like Dad and why he'd be leaving soon. Leaving him to fight his own demons…to find his own way…to be the only brother left standing. God, he was still pissed at him…wished…Sam clenched his fists and tried to settle the anger rising in his gut…hell he wished his family wouldn't have been so damned screwed up.

Sam hated himself sometimes…hated how hard he had to work to keep people from getting close to him. It was harder for him than for Dean. Dean was all swagger and shallow friendliness. He knew Dean could make due with a simple physical relationship…a couple of drinks and no strings attached, but Sam knew he wasn't like his brother. He knew he needed deeper connections with people and he wished he could be more like his brother, but even when he tried, he didn't succeed.

The last time he tried for it, he'd failed and it had ended up with his heart broken and his spirit crushed. Madison. He shook his head. He hated remembering what he did. Hated the look on her face as he held the gun to her chest, it hadn't been fear or hate or anything he thought he would have seen there, only trust. Sam ground his teeth and pulled Kate closer as angry, bitter tears mixed with the sorrowful, painful ones. She trusted him, trusted him to end her misery…her life. A life he might have loved.

Sam clenched his eyes shut. Kate…it was his fault, she trusted him too. She trusted him not to hurt her, to keep her safe and it was his fault because he couldn't be more like Dean. It was his fault because he had to make a connection to get laid. Fuck, he felt like an idiot, Fate's fool. Guilty tears joined the others as Sam prayed to whatever deity might be available to listen. He prayed and cried until exhaustion took over and he slept.

* * *

Kate fought. She fought the darkness that pushed in on her soul. It made her feel dirty and used. The greasy filth of it coating her, making it harder for her to think past the impulse to give in. That's what it wanted. It wanted her to take pleasure in the evil, disgusting thoughts it pushed through her mind.

It was getting harder to resist. There was a perverse pleasure in things it used to tempt her. Power. Power to do things and make people do things…a thrill of anticipation up her spine. Pain. Causing pain, giving pain, receiving pain…sensual pleasure pooled in the pit of her stomach. Fear. Watching people cower in fear, hearing them cry…the arrogant need for it tumbling through her ego. Knowledge. Knowing things she couldn't possibly know and the ability to use it…greed for it pulsing through her.

Kate struggled to focus on fighting against the oppressive assault, but it pressed harder, dug in deeper sending more disturbing images to break down her defenses. Kate focused on a single image. Her grandmother. She pulled herself deep into her memories. She listened and heard her voice.

_Balance, Katrin…strive for balance; between what you need and what you want, between what you give and what you take, balance between what you feel and what you know, between anger and peace, between lust and satisfaction. Find balance and keep it. Balance enables us to do the work our souls were meant to do. _

_The Great Spirit asks only that of us…that we live in balance between the past and the future, that we offer back everything we take, that we bless as we have been blessed. Live your life this way Katrin, even when to do so becomes difficult…especially when it is difficult. Remember, granddaughter, always find balance. _

Kate focused on finding balance. Balanced the evil being ground into her soul with the good. She focused on remembering her father, her brother, and her grandmother. Chevy and her laughing, her father smiling and tucking them in, her grandmother teaching her to cook and about life. Memories of loving and being loved. She focused on those memories and her grandmother's words. She pulled them around her like a blanket and forced the blackness back, away from her thoughts. She cocooned herself in her own private world where people loved her and protected her.

Eventually, she heard voices that weren't trying to hurt her. Concern and affection flowing over her, but still she stayed buried in her memories, afraid the darkness would find a way back in. Soft touches and sweet words whispered in her hair. Other memories came back to her. Memories of strong arms and soft lips, memories of safety and satisfaction. They were too close to the false pleasure offered by the darkness. She burrowed back into the past, but something kept dragging her forward.

She heard sorrow; felt the wetness of tears as pain was poured out. She felt responsible for it, knew she was the cause. Strong arms and warm breath against her hair, reminded her she was safe. Safe. She struggled and slowly allowed the cocoon to unravel. She did this carefully, as layer by layer she unwrapped her soul, always wary that the darkness might try to slip inside.

She moved toward the heat that pressed against her, knowing instinctively it was to be trusted. Solid warmth pressed against her face, she heard the steady beat of a heart. Her spirit settled and her breath came in sync with the rise and fall beneath her cheek. Steady in and out as the lub-dub, lub-dub, beat beneath her ear. Strength.

It took forever, though she didn't know how long. Slowly, bit by bit, she let the last of the shelter she'd built fall away. Deliberately she pushed the layers from her mind and soul. At first, she was scared, drowning in the memories of the past and the fear of the darkness. She felt she couldn't breathe and when she finally surfaced, it was with a sudden, almost pained, gasp.

_**Thanks to everyone who's still reading...and everyone who reviews! Speaking of which, please feel free to tell me your thoughts, good or bad. The muse needs fed on a regular basis ;)  
**_


	57. Exit Sandman

Sam's eyes flew open as pain shot through his shoulder. Something was pressing against the wound as he lay on his stomach, one arm hanging off the side o f the bed. The weight above him shifted and he swung his head around and found his nose pressed against the side of Kate's knee.

Kate was kneeling on the bed, facing the door as her eyes moved wildly through the room, barely pausing to register what they saw. She was panting, almost hyperventilating and her body was shaking.

Sam sat up cautiously and slid to the side of the bed. He didn't want to startle her. He stood and moved around the bed.

"Hey, Kate…" His voice was calm, and quiet as if he was talking to a small child, "…You're safe. It's okay. Kate can you hear me?"

Kate's eyes skimmed over him first and then swung back. Her shoulder's heaving and her pupils wide with fear. Her deep blue eyes found Sam's and she sucked in a shaky breath. She sat there looking up at him and then nodded slowly as hiccupping sobs began to overtake her. "Sa…S…Sam…"

Sam moved then, taking the two steps to the bed and he caught her as she crumbled into his arms. Sam cradled her gently against his chest while he pressed kisses in her hair and her temple, anywhere he could reach.

Kate gripped his biceps harshly, not willing to let go. Needing to feel that he was real that he was here. She was safe. She shifted and pressed her face into his neck, her tears running down his chest. She let him hold her, not wanting him to let go. She slid her arms up around his neck and clung to him while he held her. Glimpses of the dark things still buzzing through her thoughts like gnats in the summer. She could feel them more than she could see them, but they were falling away as Sam held her.

"Shh, baby. Shh, you're safe, Kate…you're safe. It's alright; everything's going to be okay. Thank god…shh…" Sam whispered quietly against Kate's hair as he held her. He waited until her grip loosened and she pulled back from his embrace before he moved.

Kate pulled back, but she was still unwilling to let go completely and she clung to Sam's arms as he moved to sit near the head of the bed, sliding with him so she could rest against his chest while he leaned against the headboard. Kate looked up at him. "What happened?" Her voice was soft, almost a whisper in the quiet of the room.

Sam slid his hands up and down her arms and considered how to answer her question. He copped out. "What do you think happened?"

Kate sighed, "I don't know." Kate's brow furrowed as she concentrated. She suddenly sat up, terror on her face, "Finn…Sam, he said he was Finn." She glanced nervously around the room as panic rose in her eyes, "Where're Logan and Dean?"

"Shh, they're fine, probably sound asleep." Sam pulled her back against his chest and brushed her hair over her shoulder, "Did he say anything to you?" Sam felt Kate's breath against his chest when she exhaled.

"Only who he was, but he was wrong, Sam. There was something wrong about him." Kate shivered.

"Is that all you remember?" Sam held his breath, hoping it was. He still remembered everything from when he'd been possessed. Every thing he did, every thing he'd felt…the things he didn't want to feel. He shook himself back to the present, "Do you remember anything else?"

Kate lifted her head. She looked up at him and nodded, "Yes. I remember other things…" Kate dropped her eyes, "…weird things, like I was dreaming," She paused and wiped tears from her face, "but I wasn't, was I?"

Sam frowned and shook his head, "No." Sam watched Kate's expression, "You wanna' tell me?"

Kate shrugged, "There was something in my head, Sam. Something I didn't want in there. It wanted me to do things, it made me think things and it tried to make me want what it wanted." She sat back and put her hands on Sam's chest. "It wanted me to hurt you…you and Dean and Logan, too."

Sam clenched his teeth and quietly he simply stated, "It was a demon, Kate. It possessed you."

Kate gasped, her mouth hanging open. "Wh..what? I mean it…" Stark fear replaced every emotion as Kate finish, "…Sam, did I hurt anyone?"

Sam shook his head, "No, Logan knew and then I exorcised it. You've been asleep for…" Sam looked over at the clock, a little after one in the afternoon. He ran a hand over the stubble on his face, "…well you've been out for eleven hours."

Kate's eyebrow shot up, "Eleven hours? What the hell did you guys do to me?" She asked nervously and only half-serious.

Sam smiled and sat up, "The demons use a lot of energy when they possess, they don't stop because they're tired, or hungry." Sam shrugged, "They just don't feel it like we do. If they're trying to keep the body, they'll make sure it eats and sleeps, but if they're just joyriding, they don't care. Eventually it takes a toll. You were exhausted, so you slept." Sam didn't add that sometimes it takes a toll on the mind too. Causes a crack and drives some people into insanity…to suicide…or worse.

Kate dropped her gaze and traced her fingers idly across Sam's abdomen. "It wanted me to give in Sam. It kept pushing and I had to fight to keep it out." She lifted her eyes to his, "It wanted my soul…piece by piece it tried to take over. I had to bury myself inside my memories so it couldn't touch me." A sob caught in her throat, "I was so scared of it, because a part of me wanted what it offered. It felt good, Sam…" Her voice broke off as the sob broke free.

Sam pulled her back against him, "I know Kate, I know. I fought once too, it's not easy. It took every ounce of strength to keep it from planting its disgusting roots deep in my soul." He kissed her head, "I know, but you were strong. You fought and didn't give in. You beat it."

Kate nodded against Sam's chest, "But I didn't want to Sam…there's a part that wanted it to win…a part that didn't want to keep fighting."

Sam's heart broke from the pain and disappointment he heard in her voice. "What you thought doesn't matter, Kate, only what you did. We fight ourselves everyday." Sam pulled back and met her eyes, "It's how we actually live that counts, not the battle that wages in our heads." He gave her a lopsided grin, "Hell, if we can survive and do it so that no one else gets hurt, maybe help someone along the way, I think we've done a damn good thing."

Kate nodded slowly, still hesitant to agree. She shivered, as fleeting dark images darted through her conscious thoughts. She gave in as Sam pulled her into a hug and when her stomach growled, she giggled.

"Hey lets get you something to eat. It's one thirty, I guess we've all slept enough for the day."

* * *

Dean heard Bobby moving around and groaned as he rolled onto his back and threw an arm over his eyes as the sun glared in through the window. He cracked an eye and guessed it was sometime early afternoon.

Logan's hand drifted across his chest and her face suddenly appeared in front of his. She smiled and kissed his chin, "You finally awake sleeping beauty?"

Dean frowned at her and grunted, "That's my line you know…" He threw the blanket off and moved to sit up, forcing Logan to shift from his chest. "How long you been awake?"

Logan shivered as Dean pulled the blankets from her shoulder, and she sat up in the middle of the bed. "Not sure, probably about fifteen minutes or so." She scooted to the end of the bed and reached for her bag. Digging through it, she found a hoodie and slipped it on. She stood as she pulled up the zipper, "Bobby's been up." She smiled and took a deep breath, "And judging from the smell he's finally got the coffee done, so it's as good a time as any to get moving."

Dean stood and grabbed a pair of jeans that were reasonably clean from his duffle. He eyed them, and then slid them on before pulling a still, neatly rolled shirt from his bag. He sniffed it, nodded then pulled it on, "I should check in on Sam. Make sure Kate's alright." Dean sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "Shit, I hope Kate's okay…"

Logan gave him a reassuring smile and nudged him playfully on the arm as she passed him heading down the steps, "Me too, but like I told Sam, she's strong and I think she'll be alright."

Dean didn't answer simply followed Logan down the stairs. He watched as she gave Bobby a hug and kissed his cheek and he couldn't help but feel a twinge that his father was gone. Dean moved into the kitchen and took the cup of coffee Logan handed to him as he sat at the counter.

"Mornin' boy." Bobby smiled and nodded, "'Bout damn time you decided to wake up. I was about ready to climb that ladder and drag you down it like I used to when you were kids. Only thing that kept me from doing it was the fear of what I might see in that bed." Bobby motioned to Logan, who was staring into the fridge. "That girl's gonna' be the death of me long before something big, scary and evil takes me out." Bobby took a sip of his coffee and shook his head. "I'm damn glad Mary and John only had boys…don't know how the hell I woulda' dealt with helping John raise a girl…you boys drum up enough drama as it is."

Dean smiled at Bobby. He knew the old hunter was just blowing hot air. He loved Logan and Dean knew he loved him and Sam as if they were his own. "Ah, Hell Bobby, Sam's as much as girl as Logan is…speaking of which I should go check on Samantha and see how he's doing."

Dean stood and headed down the hall as Bobby chuckled behind him. Dean reached for the doorknob, only to have the door suddenly swing open. He jumped in surprise when a very startled Sam dropped back, fist raised and readied to attack.

"Damn it, Dean. I just about knocked you on your ass." Sam dropped his hand to his side and gave his brother a crooked smirk.

Dean huffed, "In your dreams, Sammy…" Dean leaned against the wall, "I was coming to check on Kate, how she doing?"

Sam smiled wide and lifted his arm as Kate came to his side, "Why don't you ask her?"

Dean smiled, a big genuine smile that lit his eyes and made everything look…well better. The kind of smile Sam hadn't seen on his brother's face forever. "Good to see you up and moving, Kate. We were all worried."

Kate offered Dean a shy smile and tucked her hair back behind her ear, "Well…thanks." Her stomach grumbled again and she pressed a hand against it and blushed, "Guess I'm kinda' hungry."

Dean's eyes found Sam's and he raised an eyebrow.

Sam made one of his faces that Dean, somehow, was always able to interpret. He nodded to Dean and watched as Dean returned his own curt nod.

Dean shoved Sam's shoulder, "Come on then, let's feed her or we'll all be in trouble with Logan and hell, I hate being in trouble with Logan."

Kate giggled and followed Sam as they headed back into the kitchen.

_**More coming soon...please review :)**_


	58. Pickups, Players and Digits

Bobby sat on the hearth and he had Logan's books spread across the living room floor. Several of them open, pages marked with bits of paper. Logan was on the couch, legs tucked beneath her reading a passage in a book written in something that Sam said was Irish Gaelic. Dean had no clue, too many consonants in a row. Even when Logan tried to point out the easy words, as she called them, the pronunciation made no sense. How a word spelled _bhfuil, _was pronounced _will_ was beyond him.

Dean watched his brother scroll through page after page of internet sites hoping to find something, anything. They'd been sitting in the living room for three hours now and Dean was getting restless. Kate had begged off about an hour ago, claiming she needed a shower and then a nap. No one questioned that she was exhausted from her experience and Sam had checked in on her about ten minutes ago to ensure himself that she was indeed sleeping.

Dean stood from the arm of the couch and paced to the kitchen. He was never much for research. Oh, he'd do it when he had to, but honestly, he preferred the type he could do reading the Daily World Report. Searching through book after book for little clues, half the time trying to recall his passable Latin and spotty Greek, was not his idea of a fun way to spend an afternoon.

Lack of sleep had left him antsy and short tempered. He'd already snapped at Sam and Bobby. Sam simply rolled his eyes and snorted, "Whatever, dude." Bobby, on the other hand, threatened to slap him upside the head for being a, "mouthy little jackass." Dean yanked open the fridge, hoping to find a beer. When he encountered six eggs, what was left of a gallon of milk and a tub of margarine he groaned.

"What now, Sir Whines-a-lot?" Sam asked over his shoulder, smiling that big ornery smile of his.

"Shut up." Dean slammed the door closed and stood to face his brother. "We're out of beer, chips, M&Ms and everything else that might make a day of research tolerable. Then there's the whole, you guys have taken over the living room and I can't even watch TV, thing. I've already done my laundry…" he paused and motioned to the closet where the washer/dryer combo sat, "Well, I'm just waiting for the last of it to dry and I've been out to the Impala to seduce her into letting me back inside." Dean pointed to the counter, "I've cleaned the guns, sharpened and oiled the blades. Hell I even blessed and refilled the holy water. I'm freaking bored, dude."

Logan moved the book from her lap and stood, stretching the kinks from her back and neck as she did. "Hey, Kate still needs things from her apartment and she's a bit hesitant to go over there. She asked if I'd mind doing it for her." She walked over the counter and absently traced her finger down the blade of a particularly nasty looking knife before she reached into her pocket and pulled out the key Kate had given her earlier. "How bout you and I take a walk?"

Dean's face lit up as he smiled, "Thank god, something to do." He moved to grab his jacket from the back of the couch, "Think maybe we can pick up some supplies from somewhere? There's nothing in here to eat."

Logan rolled her eyes and giggled, "Yes, dear..."

Sam snorted only to be rewarded with a slap on the back of his head, "Hey! Watch it."

Dean was moving toward the door, "Don't make it so easy for me Sammy and you wouldn't get hit."

Bobby sat up, "You two have your phones on ya' right?" He nodded when they both held up their respective phones, "Good. Watch your backs, I mean that's where Sam and Kate were when everything went down, right?"

Sam looked over at the old hunter, "I didn't see anything unusual, but then I'm still a little fuzzy." He looked over to Dean, "Maybe we should all go?"

Dean shook his head. Shit, he'd forgotten how protective the Sam and Bobby combo could be. He dropped his hand to the doorknob. "I appreciate the concern, boys, but come on. We'll be fine. Just a short walk, grab some things and then hit the store for some supplies. We'll call as soon as we finish up at the apartment, so you two mother hens don't worry your pretty little heads."

Bobby snorted, "Don't forget that this mother hen has kept your eggs from getting cracked on more than one occasion, boy. You know what to do, just be careful." Bobby swung his gaze to Logan, "And you pay attention to him, do what he says. One thing Dean is good at is knowing when things just aren't right." He squinted back at Dean, "Sometimes it's a little eerie how good he is at sensing trouble."

Dean smiled, "That's all Dad there Bobby, and you know it. The old man drilled it into my head it's just a part of me now." Dean pulled the door open and waited for Logan to exit a head of him. "We'll call when we're done. If you don't hear from us is thirty…well then something's wrong." Dean's eyes met Bobby's then his brother's. When they nodded, he slipped out the door, pulling it shut behind him.

Logan took off down the steps, and paused at the bottom waiting for Dean who stood on the steps squinting into the bright afternoon sun. He reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a pair of sunglasses to help alleviate the glare then he moved down the steps. Logan moved ahead, walking backwards as she talked.

"Hey, I was starting to go stir crazy in there, so I'm glad you gave me an excuse to get out. Uncle Bobby can sit for days researching." She made a face when Dean raised an eyebrow, "I'm serious days, once he researched some stupid demon for four days. He'd eat, go the bathroom and page through his books. I was about to shoot myself in the foot just to get him to talk to me."

"Okay, well at least Sam's not that bad…I thought all day was bad enough." Dean rolled his eyes, "Hey, watch…" Dean moved forward trying to grab Logan's arm before she tripped over the remnants of a snowman. He didn't move fast enough, "…out."

Logan fell backward, and landed with a loud, "Oomph," as her breath was forcefully propelled from her chest. She lay on her back, staring up at Dean while she tried painfully to inhale. Tears were in her eyes, god she hated having the breath knocked out of her…there was always that small bit of panic as she tried to catch her breath.

Dean was trying really hard not to laugh as he held his hand out to help her up. "The great hunter McCree laid out by Frosty the Evil Snowman." Dean smirked, "Hey you alright?." His voice suddenly filled with concern and he knelt beside her, "Don't fight it. Just wait it out." Dean watched Logan and then when he saw her take a shallow gasp he nodded. "Okay, now in through your nose, slowly don't rush it." He inhaled the way he wanted Logan to and she mimicked him. "Good, up off your back, it's easier to breathe that way." Dean pulled Logan into a sitting position and waited as she began to breathe deeper before he stood.

Logan sat, breathing slowly for several more seconds before she grabbed the hand Dean was holding out. She stood and frowned, "Shit I hate that."

Dean brushed snow from her shoulders and back and then even down her ass and legs, "Yeah, well the trick is not panicking and to inhale slowly through your nose and out through your mouth. Of course you could try exhaling forcefully as you fall, really cuts back on the whole experience."

Logan raised an eyebrow, "You sound like you have a lot of experience with getting the wind knocked out of you." Logan rolled her eyes and brushed Dean's hands from her ass, where she was sure there was no longer any snow. "Okay, I'm freaking snow free, cut it out..."

Dean straightened and gave her a charming smile, "Can't fault a guy for trying…" Dean grabbed Logan's arm and maneuvered them around the fallen snowman. "Well, Dad taught Sammy and me how to avoid the whole thing and if it happened to us while training we ended up with more training." Dean shook his head, "Doing fifty to one hundred sit ups really sucks after hours of training so we got pretty good about keeping it from happening." Dean smiled, "Sam's better at it then me, but man when I get him it's fun to watch the fish-out-of-water face he makes trying to catch his breath."

Logan shook her head, "You're cruel, ya know that?"

Dean grinned, "Nah, cruel would be teasing him about it…I'm just making fun of him behind his back."

"Bobby's right, you are and idjit." Logan paused.

Dean realized they'd made it to the ice rink and he looked over to the building. The rink was closed and police tape was stretched across the entrance. A few people paused to stare on their way to where they were headed. Dean shot a glance to Logan and shrugged, "We didn't leave anything, so we're cool."

"Let's hope so…cause I don't want to try to explain it to anyone." Logan mumbled as they moved closer to the building.

Dean surveyed the area. He saw a couple of cops and lodge maintenance people moving around, but nothing unusual. Dean glanced up at the second floor, a couple holding hands were coming down the stairs, they looked over their shoulders at the door to the ice rink, but didn't pause in their conversation. Things looked as normal as possible. He motioned to the stairs and Logan moved ahead of him.

Logan pulled the key from her pocket and slid it into the lock.

"Hey, what are you two doing?" A voice called to them from the end of the walkway, by the stairs they'd just climbed.

Dean turned, putting himself between Logan and the threat and he bit back a smile when he felt Logan's hand fall to his trusty Colt, which was tucked in the waistband of his jeans. The move looked casual and if Dean weren't on alert, he would have turned and kissed her for it.

The man moved closer, along the balcony. "I asked you what you were doing."

Dean smiled, "We're just visiting a friend. Kate lives here right." Dean looked up and down the small row of apartments. "I mean she gave us the key, told us to make ourselves at home. Do we have the wrong apartment?" Dean shifted to the outside of the walkway, pretending to read the numbers. "She said three didn't she, sweetheart?" He glanced over his shoulder at Logan.

Logan smiled and nodded moving to Dean's side, but keeping her hand on the handle of the gun, still ready if she needed to be. "Yeah."

The man stood a few feet from Dean. He was big, not as tall as Sam, but a couple inches taller than Dean and broad shouldered. He was cute and Logan guessed his body was well defined. "I haven't seen Kate in a couple of days and I was starting to worry about her." He looked at them suspiciously, "So you've seen her today?"

Logan shifted, "We just left her. She's been spending a lot of time with us." Logan smiled, "Seems she has a thing for Dean's brother." Logan playfully nudged Dean's arm.

The man smiled, "Is he the good looking, tall guy, I saw her with the other day?"

Logan nodded and watched as the man in front of her looked Dean up and down. She tried not to smirk, "That would be Sam. Cute isn't he?" She winked at the man and felt Dean tense beside her.

The man laughed and held out his hand, "Ryan. I work with Logan on the Medic Team."

Dean nodded, "Ah, so you'd be the infamous packing peanut Ryan." Dean shook the proffered hand and smiled, "Glad to meet you. That prank totally rocks too by the way."

Logan smiled when Ryan blushed and Logan almost split a gut watching as Dean flirted unknowingly with the guy.

"That would be me…you know she still owes me for that." Ryan finally dropped Dean's hand and turned to Logan. "And you are?"

"Logan, business associate of Dean here and his brother Sam…" Logan shook Ryan's hand and smiled, "Kate's great and I'm glad to meet you."

Ryan dropped his hand and pushed both hands into the pockets of his jeans before rocking back on his heels. He smiled at Dean, "Hey, maybe we can get together later for a beer and exchange notes on pranks…she's gonna get me back someday and I'm about out of ideas."

Dean smiled, "Sure, beer and pranking sounds like fun," Dean leaned forward, "'Sides I need to get out of the henhouse."

Ryan threw his head back and laughed, "You got it. Kate has my number so you can get it from her. I better get back to work." Ryan shot a glance at Logan, "Nice to meet you, Logan."

Logan smiled, trying really hard not to laugh. "You too Ryan. I'll tell Kate you were worried about her."

Ryan nodded, "Thanks." He turned back to Dean and glanced at his shoes for a second before smiling, "I'm holding you to that beer, man."

Dean nodded, "Sure thing…call you later."

Ryan smiled, then jogged down the walkway, taking the steps two at a time. He waved up at them from below before moving out of their line of sight.

Dean turned and smiled, "Nice guy."

Logan giggled, "Hm-hm, very nice, oh and cute too. Did you notice that, yummy."

Dean raised an eyebrow, "You trying to purposely make me jealous?"

Logan shook her head, "No, nothing like that." Logan turned back to the door chuckling as she turned the key, "I just thought you might have noticed since you just practically made a date with the guy." She turned and smiled up at Dean's confused face, "Damn, wish I would've known about that. Like I've said before two men in my bed at the same time is seriously a turn on." Logan smiled and stretched up on her toes, "Especially if they're into each other as much as they're into me." She winked.

Dean's eyebrows shot up and he sputtered, "What the…shit Logan, that's nasty. He wasn't…" Dean paused and closed his eyes thinking about what Ryan had said and how the other man had acted. He groaned, "Damn it…yes he was." Dean ran a hand through his hair as he realized how it looked, "Why the hell didn't I see it. Shit, I'm losing my touch."

Logan was full out laughing now, she pushed a finger into his chest, "You, were just played by a fellow player. All those moves so familiar that you didn't even notice them?"

Dean dropped his head as he blushed, "Shit…Logan I just made a date with some random guy and all you can do is laugh. That's evil, girl downright evil. Couldn't you have warned me or something?"

"Warn you? First, it was fucking hilarious. Second, what did you want me to say? Something like, hey, Dean might want to click on the gay-dar?" Logan turned to the door. "It's not like you have to call him, you know. Besides, you could still go and then tell him you're not interested. He still looks like he's fun to hang with."

Logan turned the doorknob and pushed the door slowly open. Nothing happened so they moved inside. It was cold, but not as cold as outside so Dean pushed the door closed as they moved into the apartment.

"Damn, you'd think Paige would have turned the heat up." Logan moved to the thermostat and pushed the needle to sixty-eight as Kate had asked her to.

"You'd think that wouldn't you." Dean said moving cautiously toward the bedroom. He slid the door open with his foot and looked inside. "Bedroom's clear." He backed up and checked the other door, "Bathroom too."

Logan gasped and Dean turned in the direction of the kitchen. "Kitchen, not so much."

Dean moved quickly across the room to where Logan stood staring at the counter. The Katchina mask lay on the counter, face up with what Dean thought were two fingers poking through the mouth of the mask. One was impaled on the character's fang, a ring of braided silver at the bottom. Beside the mask there was a message written in drying blood.

_I have the girl - Finn_

**_Alright, now if you wouldn't mind letting my muse feel the love...I would appreciate it._**

**_Again, thanks to all of you who review. You keep me writing!!_**


	59. Somewhere Between Kate's and the Cabin

**_Short chapter...just Dean/Logan banter. What was left of Hurricane Ike took out our electric and this little piece sorta wrote itself during that time. I should have the next chapter (the original chap 59) ready soon. In the meantime..._**

Logan snapped a picture of the mask, fingers and message before she and Dean loaded the mask and fingers into a bag. While Logan gathered the things Kate had asked them to pick up, Dean cleaned the blood from the counter. He wasn't able to find anymore, which meant that the fingers were removed somewhere else and since the blood still hadn't dried, it was a good indication that Finn wrote the message just before they arrived at the apartment, which was in and of itself scary.

Logan glanced around and double-checked the bag she'd packed for Kate and then they headed out the door. Logan handed the bag to Dean, and watched him slide it over his shoulder as she flipped open her phone and dialed Bobby.

He picked up the second ring, "You two good then?"

"Well, we're fine, but we found something at Kate's place." Kate paused on the second to the last step and watched as Ryan headed over to Dean. She smiled.

"Well? You gonna tell me or make me guess?" Bobby's voice interrupted Logan's thoughts.

"Um, yeah…Paige, she's Kate's friend and she's been spending the weekend with her. Well, we think Finn has her." Logan's voice dropped.

There was a pause, "What makes you think that?"

Logan could hear Bobby rubbing at his beard, "We found a note and a couple of her fingers along with Kate's Katchina mask."

"Did you say fingers? He left fingers? Blessed mother…shit. You two coming back now?"

Logan looked down at Dean as he chatted with Ryan, "We still need supplies, Bobby. Dean isn't going to agree to skip the supply run, but we're just hitting the little shop in the lodge so we won't be long."

Bobby grunted, "Fine, but hurry the hell back. We need to figure out what he wants."

"Yeah, we will….hey Uncle Bobby can you put Sam on the phone for a minute?"

Logan heard muffled voices and then Sam's voice.

"Logan, what the hell is Bobby talking about?" Concern edged Sam's voice.

"Finn has Paige. He left a message written in her blood saying I have the girl and signed Finn." Logan sighed, "Shit, Sam…he also left two of her fingers."

"How do you know they're hers?" Sam's voice was quiet, now.

"One of the fingers has a ring. I think I've seen it before, but if it's hers, I'm sure Kate will know. I think it would come better from you, but we don't know what else he did or where he's at…that's all we have right now." Logan swallowed, "You know better than us, so is she gonna' be okay?"

Sam growled, "Shit Logan, she's been possessed, her best friend was just kidnapped by some supernatural asshole that left her fingers as his calling card. How do you think she's gonna' be?"

"Sam, don't be a jerk. You know what I mean…not like I planned this either." Logan understood his frustration. She heard Sam sigh.

"I'm sorry, Logan…it's just, oh hell, you know." Sam paused, thinking. "I'll talk to her, okay…but fuck."

"I know…" Logan waited a few seconds, "Hey, before I forget, we're still heading to the store for supplies. Is there anything you need or want?"

Sam thought about it, but couldn't come up with anything, "Dean knows what I like and he'll get enough crap for everyone….I think we'll be alright that way."

"'Kay then, bye." Logan waited for Sam's reply and flipped her phone closed.

She moved down the last two steps and over to where Dean was talking with Ryan. Dean was smiling and Ryan was talking.

"Shocked, the man says, 'Well, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda' figured that we were friends.'" Ryan smiled wide.

Dean laughed, big deep laughs and he reached over and slapped Ryan on the shoulder, "That was a good one, man…you ever heard the one with the priest and the hooker…oh hey, Logan." Dean cleared his throat, attempting to be serious.

"Dean. Ryan. What are you two talking about?" Logan winked at Ryan and gave Dean a cross look.

Ryan smiled at her and shrugged, "Just exchanging jokes. Seems Dean's a sucker for a good story, but he still owes me one."

Logan coughed to cover her giggle, "Yeah, and he always keeps his promises don't you?"

Dean smiled and nodded, "So, Ryan, seven thirty for that beer right?"

Ryan's smile widened, "I'll be there." He looked like he was about to say something else, but someone called his name and he turned. "I have to go, but I'll catch you both later." He glanced at Dean again, "Especially you…you have to finish that story for me."

"You'll hear it, see ya' later, man." Dean raised his hand as Ryan moved toward the other lodge workers.

Logan looped her arm in Dean's and pulled herself against his side as she laughed.

"What?" Dean frowned at her, "I told him I was seeing someone else and it wouldn't work. He still wants to be friends and I like the guy."

Logan nodded. "Well, I'm glad you're going to have that beer with him, but you shouldn't keep giving him hope for something that's not gonna happen. He's obviously hoping for something more."

Dean smiled and paused to bend close to her ear, "Yeah, and how do you know _that_ isn't going to happen?" He raised an eyebrow and waited for her take the bait, he was disappointed when she didn't.

"Funny, very, funny…if there is one thing I know it's that Dean Winchester isn't into men." Logan shook her head, "You are too transparent to play my games baby…You're not even in the same league."

Dean smirked, "You think you have me all figured out don't you?"

"I know I do." Logan leaned up on her toes and kissed his cheek, "Come on, let's hurry and get what we need. I already called Bobby and Sam, told them what we found. We should move it."

Dean nodded and began to sing under his breath, "I get home at five o'clock…And I take myself out a nice, cold beer…"

Logan rolled her eyes, "Rush? Come on, I'm all for the ancients of rock, but how bout something from this millennium?"

Dean shook his head and sang louder, "Always seem to be wondrin'…Why there's nothin' goin' down here."

Logan mumbled, "Uh-ha, nothing ever goes down round us. Please stop."

Dean smiled and hummed a few bars before continueing, "It seems to me…I could live my life…A lot better than I think I am…"

"You think you should be living it better huh?" Logan pulled ahead of Dean and smiled over her shoulder. "So that why they call you the workin' man?"

Dean just kept smiling and he nodded, pausing just outside the entrance to the bar. "Hey, why don't you head into the bar and order us some burgers and fries or onion rings. Oh, and a six pack to go and I'll grab stuff from the store?"

"Okay, but get some plain M&Ms or the almond ones if they have 'em." Logan pouted prettily at Dean, who hated the almond M&Ms about as much as ectoplasm.

He rolled his eyes, "Fine, but don't go mixing them in with the peanut ones like last time. So help me I'll shoot you."

Logan stuck her tongue out, but nodded, "Medium well, and onions?"

Dean nodded and smiled wider as he headed to the little shop beside the lodge, "Extra onions." He added over his shoulder.

"Fine, but you're sleeping by yourself." Logan threw back as he entered the bar.

"Whatever, princess."

**_Please feed the muse..._**


	60. This Wicked Game

_**Longish chapter ahead with some slightly kinky smut included...**(consider that a warning)_

The stop for supplies didn't take that much longer and Dean and Logan arrived back at the cabin less than an hour after they left. Dean shoved the milk, eggs and the left over six-pack into the fridge while Sam unpacked the other bag.

"Two bags of chips, three kinds of M&Ms, pretzels, gummi worms, a box of Lucky Charms, a box of Cookie Crisp, a loaf of bread, bologna, cheese, peanut butter and salsa." Sam catalogued the contents, "Did you get anything remotely healthy? You're like a twelve year old when you shop Dean."

Dean snorted and twisted the cap from his beer. He took a long sip while he stared at his brother, "And you are like a nagging wife…jeez Sam, chill the hell out. You want healthy – you do the shopping. Besides, you're not going to starve now are you?"

Logan was doling out the contents of the four greasy take out sacks. "Okay, cheeseburgers, fries and onion rings." Logan smiled and looked at the three men, "Dinner is served boys."

Bobby reached between Sam and Dean and snagged a burger, "This one better not be half raw." He mumbled as he unwrapped it and looked at it suspiciously.

Logan shook her head, "I only asked for two medium well, Uncle Bobby…and for heaven's sake they aren't raw."

Sam slid one of the "half-raw" burgers his direction and slapped a handful of onion rings onto his plate. Then he made a second plate up for Kate before grabbing two beers and heading into the living area.

Kate sat on the couch sipping a cup of coffee.

"You hungry?" Sam asked handing her a plate.

Kate smiled and took the plate from Sam, "A little, the beer sounds good though."

Sam sat beside her and put his plate and both beers on the coffee table. He unwrapped his burger and took a huge bite, "Mmm, gwood thnkin, bwro." He turned and gave Dean a thumbs-up as he talked around the half-chewed mouthful.

Dean smiled around his own food even as he walked into the living room and settled himself onto the floor across from Sam and Kate.

Bobby took his spot in the recliner and when Logan finally joined them settling beside Sam on the couch Bobby spoke, "Now, Sam's told Kate what happened, but none of us know what Finn wants…'cept he told Sam that Vetis wanted him out of the way because he might screw things up." Bobby paused, took a sip of his beer and continued, "What do we know 'bout the Nephilim." Bobby popped an onion ring into his mouth and looked around the room.

Logan cocked her head and glanced around the room, "Look. I went through most of my books…not line, by line, but still most of them and I haven't found much. So far, I found a few things. Nephilim have a soul. It's a totally twisted, evil soul, but it's there."

"Isn't a soul the spiritual part of a person? So if demons are spirit wouldn't that mean they have a soul, or are a soul?" Kate leaned forward and looked around Sam to Logan.

Logan shook her head, "It's more complicated than that. You must have a body to have a soul. That's what makes a soul special. At its simplest, the soul is the connection between the physical and the spiritual…it makes a person a single, coherent entity. A body, at death, loses that communication and the soul then allows the spiritual part of the person, the part that makes me who I am and you who you are, pass on to its final resting place."

Kate looked puzzled, but nodded, "So, the soul connects the spiritual to the physical…it's the spark of life. A body exists without it, but doesn't live. A spirit exists without it, but doesn't live." Kate took a long drink, "So, I assume that to create a soul or spark of life, to connect the physical to the spiritual you need two people with those traits. You said your average demon can't create human/demon hybrids only the Grigori can. What do they have that allows them to do it?"

Logan shook her head, "We don't know really. Demons can possess and then impregnate. Those offspring usually have damaged souls. Their souls are more perceptible to evil and possession, but they are still essentially only human. Nephilim are evil, well they aren't until they mature. Then they come into their powers, one of which seems to be the ability to communicate with demons. The only other thing the lore says is that they were physically powerful, difficult to defeat, lived extremely long lives and in most cases were giants."

Bobby shook his head, "You're all making this more difficult than it is. Look, to have a soul makes you human. To not have one makes you somethin' else. The Nephilim have souls so that make 'em human. Demons don't, so again not human. The real question is what's so damn special about these Grigori and their offspring?"

Sam sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. He looked over to Bobby, "Well, you said you put him down. Shot him from two feet out, through the head and then burned the place down. Somehow, he survived, so that's something. He seems to be able to appear and disappear like a demon, so that's something else."

Bobby nodded, "Well, so we know he's basically human, but somehow he survived a shot to the head and fire."

Kate leaned forward and put her beer on the table as she snagged an onion ring from Sam's plate. "Didn't you guys say that it took a flood to wipe these guys from the planet the last time?" When she saw Logan nod she continued, "Why a flood? I mean of all the ways to kill people off…couldn't God just have made a plague that killed off only the Nephilim, couldn't he have used fire, starvation, hell, made them all sterile?"

Bobby laughed and slapped his knee, "You're smart, girl...don't know why I didn't see it." Bobby nodded and looked over to the three hunters, "Running water and well a flood is a giant mess of running water."

Dean turned and looked up at the older hunter smiling, "Well shit if that isn't the most obvious thing I've missed lately…"

Logan interrupted with a snort and was about to comment when Dean turned and glared.

She held up her hands, "I'm just pointing out it's not THE most obvious thing…" She continued to giggle, especially after the three other people in the room stared at her as if she was crazy.

Dean cleared his throat and continued, "Okay, so it takes running water to kill them. Are they bound by it too? Because that's gonna' make killing Finn a bit more difficult."

Sam looked up, "I don't know, but it almost seems like these guys are worse than demons. You don't see God just binding up the demons left and right, but he took out these guys." Sam caught Dean's eyes, "Why?"

Dean swallowed. He really didn't want to fathom that. Not that he put much stock in the whole God thing, though if you made him pick a side: God exists or God doesn't exist. He'd agree he existed. He'd also agree that he was a lazy, good for nothing piece of crap for letting hell on earth exist.

Dean pushed a hand through his hair, "Don't know Sammy, but it's a good question. If the big guy is all powerful why'd he feel threatened by these things…threatened enough to kill them all off."

Logan shook her head, "I don't think he was threatened, Dean. I think he thought they were worse for the human race than the demons. I mean demons are scary, most sane people regardless of the opportunity to get something will avoid scary, but the Nephilim were people's kids and grandkids. Maybe it was too easy to fall in line with them…sure they might be big, but that meant protection. Maybe it was just too easy for normal people to align themselves with their kind. I think God felt they were beyond redemption, to far gone to help."

Dean stood and strode to the kitchen. He took the last bottle of the first six-pack and roughly removed the cap before taking a long drink. He looked over to Logan, "What, you're honestly telling me you think that," Dean held his beer up over his head, "he thinks demons ARE redeemable? Shit, that has to be the stupidest thing I've heard."

Dean missed the hurt look that crossed Logan's face, but Sam didn't and he closed his eyes wishing his brother knew when to shut the hell up. Dean's next words confirmed that he indeed, never knew when to stop.

"Come on Logan," Dean continued as he moved to the outside of the counter and leaned against it. "Demons deserve the hell that was made for them, I suppose the Nephilim do to and so do all those people who use them for their benefit. They really deserve to be destroyed…every fucking last one of them."

Logan stood and simply left the room. She didn't say a word; simply walked out of the living room and down the small hallway to the bedroom. The slamming of the door her only reply.

Bobby glared across the room.

Sam threw his head back onto the couch, "Shit, Dean you're an idiot."

Kate stood and moved to stand in front of Dean. She tilted her head to the side and considering she was only a couple of inches shorter than he was, she looked him full in the eye. "You are seriously a jackass. I don't know what she sees in you. You keep hurting her and you don't even know it." Kate crossed her arms over her chest and threw her ponytail back over her shoulder. "Her family used demons idiot. Her father was willingly possessed, she and her mother were raped by them and her brother and daughter are half fucking demon…do you realize you just told her that her whole family deserves to be destroyed?"

Kate snorted, "Sam told me what you did…what your father did. You don't think you used demons to YOUR benefit? Come on, you were too fucking weak to live without your brother and so you dealt. How is bringing Sam back not to your benefit? How are you or your father any different than Logan's parents?" Kate wiped angry tears from her eyes, but didn't back down.

Dean stared, mouth agape as he realized what he'd just said…what he'd just done. He hadn't meant to hurt Logan, but he had. He slumped onto the stool beside him and rubbed at the back of his neck before finishing the beer in his hand in one long pull. "God, I'm a jerk."

Kate shook her head, "Yes you are and you need to go talk to her." Her voice had gentled a bit, but her anger was still evident, "By the way, I'm sorry."

Dean looked over at her, "For what?"

Kate smirked, "Well, I sure as hell ain't sorry for calling you on being an ass, but I am sorry for saying I don't know what she sees in you." Kate shook her head, "Honestly, you're a great guy, but you're just a little thick sometimes."

Dean nodded and glanced at his brother, "Yeah, that's what Samantha says all the time."

"Well at least Sam can actually find his inner femme…you have a tendency to squash it like a parasitic bug." Kate nudged his shoulder. "Come on, make up because we need to work together to figure out what's going on. Paige is…well…what…."

Kate's voice trailed off with a desperate little hiccup that had Sam off the couch and to the counter in two seconds flat.

Sam pulled Kate into his arms and caught his brother's eyes with a half glare and a motion toward the hallway even as he told Kate she'd be alright.

Dean sighed and held up his hands in submission, but didn't move from his spot.

Bobby cleared his throat…loudly.

Dean looked over to Bobby.

The old hunter stood, his Bowie in his hand as he tested the blade against the pad of his left thumb, "Little dull, boy…might be a little more painful that way, but I warned ya'."

Dean swallowed, if it weren't for the hard glint in Bobby's eyes he might have thought the older man was teasing. Dean had seen that look before. He'd been on the receiving end of that look before and it never turned out well for him. "Shit Bobby, I'll handle it…I'll apologize and make it right." Dean spoke while he moved off toward the hall, not turning his back on the man.

Bobby took a half step toward him.

Dean moved faster, "I'm going…I'm going. Let me talk to her…" Dean reached the door and quickly turned the handle. The door opened and he moved inside, quickly shutting it behind him and leaning against the door with a sigh. His relief lasted about five seconds, until he found the point of Logan's knife suddenly pressed almost painfully into his groin.

"I told Uncle Bobby I could handle you, you know?" Logan whispered as she stood up on her toes, her lips just below his ear. "I promised him if you hurt me, I'd make sure you'd remember it."

Dean sighed…she wasn't going to make this easy on him; he considered going back out, and taking his chances with Bobby. Dean pulled out his most charming smile, "Logan, you think maybe we could talk without your knife threatening my manhood?"

Logan pressed the point into the denim and Dean felt her breath rush out against his neck as she spoke, "Only if you apologize for being a dick."

Dean nodded, "I apologize, please let me make it right."

The pressure lessened, but the blade moved upward. Slowly to his waist, then Dean could feel it pressed softly against his belly. The blade curved to the left and then to the right and the pressure increased against the cotton of his shirt, a light caress, almost like a lover. Dean watched Logan's eyes follow the blade as she moved it.

Logan's mouth opened in a small gasp as she continued to slide the knife across to Dean's hip and over the area that housed his kidney. He didn't' move beneath the blade, but she heard his breath hitch. The thought of watching the dangerous blade slide over naked flesh unexpectedly filled her thoughts; her mouth suddenly dry and she swallowed and wet her lips delicately with the tip of her tongue.

Dean didn't know what to think, caught between apprehension and rapidly rising lust was a scary prospect when your lover was holding a knife against your soft parts. Of course, Dean realized that the knife was one of the things that had his blood flowing in its current downward path. Shit…this was fucking kinky and one hell of a turn on. Dean bit back a short whimper.

Logan glanced up at Dean's face and recognized the longing in those green eyes. She increased the pressure on the blade and smiled a bit cruelly up at him when he took a sharp breath. "You like that?" Logan's voice was thick.

Dean's eyes drifted shut and his head fell back against the door, he couldn't answer when he felt her free hand skim down his side to brush over his groin.

Logan's throaty chuckle vibrated against his chest, "Mmm, you do like that don't you?" Logan moved the knife up Dean's side to the unbuttoned placket of his Henley. Softly she slid the point of the knife from the hollow of his throat to the bottom of the V in the shirt leaving a scored line, but not breaking skin. Logan purred when she saw the light red line. "So pretty with my marks on you Dean…"

Dean's mind was spinning. Fuck, he'd walked in here to apologize and now he found himself on the receiving end of a seriously, screwed up seduction, not that he was entirely against it, but shit…sharp objects weren't usually this much of a turn on. His eyes popped open when he felt Logan's lower hand push the shirt up his chest, just as the one with the knife dropped to his now bare chest. He felt the cold steel of the blade, a burning contrast to his increasingly warmer skin.

Logan swallowed and watched the blade stroke down the center of Dean's chest to his navel and then back up, barely there and light. Then she laid the knife flat against his chest and let his skin heat the steel. His chest rose and fell unevenly as his breath caught and gave. She could feel his pulse pounding beneath her hand and desire hot, and wet pooled between her legs. Logan leaned forward and licked Dean's left nipple, then blew a hot breath across it, watching the small nub harden.

Dean was almost afraid to move. On one hand, he was afraid that he'd startle Logan and the knife would slip and on the other hand, he didn't want to break whatever spell he was under. He shivered as her breath blew across his nipple and then moaned softly when she pressed the tip of the knife into the pebbled flesh, again no blood, just a sharp sting and a rush of lust to his groin. He couldn't keep himself from pressing his groin forward into her belly.

Logan removed the knife from his chest and slid back, "Take off your shirt." Her voice was shaky, but her eyes were steady, boring into Dean's without blinking.

Dean didn't hesitate. He grabbed the hem of his shirt with both hands and pulled it sharply over his head. It caught on his amulet and then popped free, leaving the amulet to bounce lightly against his chest as he lowered his arms to his side and dropped the shirt at his feet.

Logan watched muscles slide smoothly under skin and when Dean's hands were back to his side the knife was back on his chest. Logan watched mesmerized as the flashing blade slid over the open expanse of Dean's chest. She dragged the point lightly, down the left side of his chest from nipple to hipbone and watched the muscles react and quiver then she repeated the action on the right side. Flipping the knife, she used a firmer pressure and moved the spine of the knife in slashing movements across his abdomen, dipping into the waist of his jeans.

Dean hissed when the pressure on the blade increased, and he unconsciously looked down to be reassured that Logan was now using the dull, spine side of her blade. Regardless, there was still an element of danger and it heightened his senses. Dean was acutely aware of Logan's short panting breaths against his chest and even the way she was moving against his thigh. He groaned softly when he felt her fingertips skip lightly across the light red lines crisscrossing his stomach and feather into the waistband of his jeans. His hips moved into her touch, needing to feel her against his cock.

Logan shook her head and smiled up at Dean, "You're a naughty boy, Dean Winchester and you need to be punished." Logan's right hand, the one with the blade, dropped to his waist. Logan flattened the knife against his belly and dipped it into his jeans, with a flick of her wrist she easily cut through the buttonhole of his jeans and she chuckled at the sudden intake of breath from the man she had pressed against the door.

Logan pouted up at Dean, "Uh-oh, think you'll have to buy a new pair of jeans." Her left hand slid to the zipper and she pulled it down smoothly and parted the fly of his jeans. The knife moved lower.

Dean hissed when the point was suddenly, but with measured firmness, pressed against the cotton of his boxer briefs. "Shit…" was all he managed to grind out before the blade slid lower. There wasn't pain, but the possibility of pain.

Logan felt her hand shake and consciously steeled herself against the onslaught of overwhelming desire. The tip of Dean's cock was just visible above the waistband of his briefs and the small drop of precum on the tip was distracting her. She backed up and motioned downward with the knife, "Take them off."

Dean hesitated and then tugged his pants down and worked them off his feet, pulling his socks off with them. When he was naked, and still pressed against the door he looked down at the woman before him, "Logan, I…"

The knife was suddenly at his throat, "Shh." She dragged the knife ever so lightly across the side of his neck. "Remember when you had that knife to my throat?" She looked up at his eyes, "I was so scared…you wouldn't respond and you were hurting me…remember?"

Dean tried to talk, but couldn't. His mouth was dry, but he did manage to nod; a small up and down movement so not to jar the knife against his throat.

"It's such a small thing. A little piece of steel between life and death, one little slip…" Logan pressed the cutting edge just under the right side of Dean's jaw, a small nick opened up and one scarlet red drop began to slide down his neck. Logan watched the sluggish drop expectantly, "…one slip and you bleed, precious, life giving blood spilling to the ground."

Dean inhaled sharply at the small sting. He was shocked that she'd drawn blood, but when she stood up on her toes and laved the small nick with her tongue a sudden tremor ran down his spine, settling between his legs and he growled deep in the back of throat, tension vibrating through every muscle. The knife rested against his collarbone and he shuddered when Logan began to move it against his skin once again.

Logan's tongue followed the trail of that single scarlet drop, the salty taste of blood mixing with the musky, earthy taste of Dean. She paused, her forehead resting against the center of Dean's chest and struggled for control. Without conscious thought, her left hand wrapped around his thick erection and her thumb circled over the sensitive tip. She leaned back enough to catch Dean's eyes and brought the thumb to her lips and licked the wetness from it with lazy strokes of her tongue.

Dean watched Logan's tongue tease the tip of her thumb, removing the drop of precum she'd collected and he groaned. Dean felt the knife resting, spine side against his right nipple and with a practiced move he pivoted, captured Logan's right wrist with his right hand and twisted, simultaneously reversing their positions and retrieving the knife with his left hand as he pressed her against the door. He transferred the knife to his right hand and using his forearm he pressed across her chest. His left hand found a handful of hair and he slanted her head as his mouth descended on hers.

Logan was shocked. She'd gone from being in control to being on the receiving end of Dean's kiss in seconds. She gasped as Dean's tongue drove into her mouth, plundering, fighting and pressing, taking and owning and leaving her breathless and moaning in its wake. Logan's knees went weak and she found herself almost completely held up by Dean's arm across her chest and his fingers fisted roughly in her hair.

Dean pressed his entire length against Logan, grinding himself into the softness of her belly. He broke the kiss and panted, looking down at her. He smiled and eyed the knife in his hand; he balanced its weight in his palm and flipped it easily. Dean pressed his lips against Logan's ear, "Beautiful knife. Where've you been hiding this one?"

Dean brought the knife up and laid the cool flat edge against her cheek. "It's sexy…A Simonich Raven" Dean's eybrows shot up, "expensive, five inch high quality, double tempered, steel blade." Dean moved the blade down Logan's cheek to the side of her throat. "Composite handle…" Dean pressed the spine of the knife against Logan's throat and smiled when her eyes grew wide and she whimpered. Dean caught her eyes, saw the fear mingled with desire and continued, "…excellent if your hand gets wet…or bloody."

Logan shivered and knew that fear had almost nothing to do with it. Fuck, she knew blade play turned her on…she was thrilled to find it did the same for Dean. She felt the spine of the knife against her throat and arched away from it, just so Dean would press it against her more firmly. He didn't disappoint her and his monologue about the knife was as much of a turn on as the blade itself. A man who knew his weapons was a man who could take care of himself…and her.

Dean slid the knife down Logan's neck to the top of her t-shirt and then dragged the point down between her breasts. The blade was sharp, well taken care of and that didn't surprise him. He pulled back and watched the path the knife took down her body to the hem of her t-shirt and then the softness of her skin beneath it. "These blades require proper upkeep, hard to keep them sharp and all...because the steel's so hard."

"Let's test it." Dean slipped the blade into the waist of her jeans, just by her hip and caught the bottom edge of the slip of elastic that held the string bikinis he knew she was wearing, together. He pulled up and felt the elastic give. Logan jumped and the knife scratched her hip as Dean removed it from her jeans. He raised an eyebrow, "Oops, be sure to stay still Logan or you're gonna get hurt, sweetheart." Dean moved to her other hip and repeated the same motion.

He slid the knife back up her side and then held the blade between them, flat side to her face. Dean caught her eyes, "Good job, don't think I could have done better." He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Now, jeans are expensive so why don't you just undo yours and get them out of the way for me."

Logan's hands were shaking as she undid the buttons on her jeans and slid them down her legs, her eyes on Dean and the knife the entire time. She kicked them to the side and then pulled her shirt over her head.

Dean smiled and nodded, "Points for thinking ahead." He moved quickly, the knifepoint pressed firmly between Logan's breasts then Dean pulled toward him and the bra popped open, exposing her to his eyes. "Not far enough though…" Dean held the knife in his fist and cupped Logan's breast, teasing the nipple with his thumb.

Logan moaned at the cool blade that rested against the side of her breast. Dean's thumb was teasing the nipple, brushing it against the cold steel of the spine. She shuddered from head to toe and whimpered when he purposely pressed the knife against it. Logan reached out and grabbed Dean's straining cock.

Dean hissed, "Shit…" He moved his hand from her breast and tossed the knife to the floor. Reaching down, he pulled Logan up and as she wrapped her legs around his waist, he stumbled to the bed.

Logan's mouth was on Dean's neck, kissing his throat and jaw, tongue moving and teeth nipping. She found the small cut she'd made and she bit over it, reveling in his gasping breath and then she soothed it eagerly with her tongue.

Dean dropped them onto the bed and leaned his hand to the table, knowing Sam the box would be there. Smiling at his brother's penchant for routine, he pulled a condom from the drawer. Logan's mouth was distracting him to no end and her hands were now stroking and pulling him to a fever pitch. Dean groaned when her lips began to travel down his chest and he rolled onto his back as his eyes drifted closed.

Logan's eager mouth was devouring Dean's skin. Teeth, tongue and lips suddenly not satisfied with what they found, went searching for more. Logan's tongue dove into Dean's navel as her hands stroked up and down his hard length; one second it was her hands, the next it was Logan's mouth.

Dean watched as Logan all but swallowed him. Sweat broke out on his forehead and when her fingers stoked up his thighs to his balls, his eyes rolled back in his head. Dean heard the loud moan and cursed himself for its volume. Fingers teased and then Dean felt the cool air on his exposed cock as Logan's mouth followed her fingers.

Logan's tongue left wide, wet paths up the inside of Dean's thighs. She felt his muscles quiver and heard the moan even as his legs drifted apart, giving her better access. She traced random patterns over his sac. Her tongue probing back and under, making Dean almost roar and then drag her back up his body as her flipped her to her back.

Dean's hand drifted down Logan's side to the soft, wet curls between her legs as he teased her breasts with his tongue. He bit and soothed even as he slid two fingers deep inside, twirling them, moving them in and out. He had no patience left and he pulled his fingers out, grabbed the condom and pulled it on.

One thrust and he was home. Logan beneath him arched up into him, crying out his name softly. A prayer from her lips as the blood pounded in his ears. He paused, to catch his breath and then moved harshly against her. Nothing gentle, frantic desperate movements, just shy of violence and she met him thrust for thrust.

Logan bent one leg, wrapped it around Dean and pulled him against her roughly. Her fingernails pressed into his shoulders, drawing blood she was sure. Her mouth found his neck and she bit and sucked as he breathed her name against her ear. She wasn't prepared for the climax that rushed up and pulled her under. She felt it crash over her and she cried out.

Dean felt Logan get closer and when she tensed in his arms, he lowered his mouth to hers and captured the small cry that poured into the room. Dean was right behind her and before she had finished trembling around him, he shuddered, threw his head back and came.

Dean collapsed just to the side of Logan; their bodies still pressed intimately together, his weight heavy, but not overwhelming. Neither spoke as they found their hearts slowing, breathing regulating and skin cooling. Dean slid to the side and then pulled Logan to his chest, "Shit…I'm sorry Logan."

Logan raised her head, "You fucking better be or next time I will cut it off." She smiled at him and gave him a wink.

Dean kissed her hair as she laid it back on his chest, "Next time you pull a knife on me, you better be prepared to use it."

Logan chuckled, "I did use it…just for foreplay."

Dean ran a hand lightly down Logan's back, "You are one kinky chick, you know that?"

Logan smiled against Dean's chest, teasing fingers up and down his abdomen, "I think you're a whole lot less vanilla than you think, Mr. Winchester…That blade got you hot pretty damn quick."

Dean pulled back so he could see Logan's face, "Never once said I was vanilla, baby…hell, I've been trying to convince you about the merits of public lewdness for sometime now."

Logan made a face, "That's it right there…lewdness. I'm into kinky, not lewd."

Dean opened his mouth to say something when there was a knock at the door, followed by it sliding open.

Sam poked his head it, eyes glued shut, "You two done, "making up"? Cause Kate just got a call from Paige. We know where she is."

Dean was out of the bed in no time, tossing Logan her clothes as he pulled his jeans from the floor and stepped into them. He glanced at Logan, her shirt covering her, "We're decent enough, bro…" Dean said sheepishly as he pulled his shirt over his head.

Sam opened his eyes and glanced over to Logan, "Dude, the bed? You do know what Kate and I did on that bed don't you?" Sam winked at Logan, who rolled her eyes.

Dean sighed, "Yeah, yeah…and yuck, but Paige? Where is she?" Dean sat on the bed as Logan shimmied into her jeans and stood to button them.

Sam blushed, "Um, according to Kate there's a rustic cabin about three miles from the lodge, back in the woods. It's been abandoned and the local kids use it for the usual. Paige says that if we don't show he's going to kill her." Sam looked from Logan to Dean and shook his head. His voice was quiet when he added, "He's already hurt her."

The way he said it left no doubt to what Sam meant. Dean pushed a hand through his hair and stood. "Shit, how's Kate doing?"

Sam shook his head, "Not good, I don't think she should come, but she's insisting."

Logan bent to pick the knife up from the floor and she slid it into the sheath that she retrieved from the dresser. "We better go then." She headed out the door and up the hall.

Sam eyed his brother and shook his head, "What's up with the knife?"

Dean smiled wide, he couldn't help it, "Maybe when you're older, Sammy, I'll explain it to you." Dean was out the door before Sam could even think to respond.

_**My muse awaits critique...kinky smut good or bad? Oh, and any other comments are always appreciated too :)**_


	61. The Darkenss Rises

Considering the weather, they all agreed that Kate's Land Rover and Bobby's truck were the best bets to get them to the cabin. Dean and Sam shoved weapons, salt, lighter fluid and holy water into a large canvas duffle and then put it in the back of the Land Rover. Bobby had his chosen weapons in the cab of the truck.

While they were packing weapons, Kate asked Sam for a handgun and when she reached into the trunk and pulled out the Smith & Wesson .45, he didn't tell her no. She caught Dean's eyes as she removed the magazine and checked the chamber before reloading the gun with a practiced movement. She grabbed a second magazine from Sam's outstretched hand before checking the safety and sliding the handgun and extra ammunition into her pocket.

Dean watched the practiced motions and nodded, impressed with her choice of weapon as well as with the ease she handled it. Maybe the girl did have some skills.

Sam drove, Logan and Dean in the back while Kate sat stiffly in the front seat. Sam was worried, she hadn't said much since the phone call and what she did say was stilted and short. He looked over at her and slid a hand across the seat to grab the hand she was resting beside her thigh.

Kate glanced down at Sam's hand and swallowed around the fear and anger in her throat. She didn't return the gentle squeeze and when he released his grip, she pulled her hand into her lap. She saw Sam frown and then she turned her eyes to the murky twilight starting to overtake the mountain. The clock read five-thirty.

Kate wiped the sheen of tears from her eyes, unwilling to give into the despair she felt rising up from deep inside. She'd been strong up until the phone call, trying to act as if the feelings swirling inside her weren't any worse than a hangover. She hadn't slept much, even when she tried. Every time she closed her eyes she would see those things…evil, nasty things that made her feel dirty.

She was angry. Angry that the demon had used her, and she felt somewhat responsible for letting it. She felt like no amount of time, or good thoughts were going to make it go away. She felt the demon stole the last shred of her innocence, the one last bit that allowed her to sleep at night, believing that things would be better tomorrow.

She felt emotionally and spiritually raped. She still remembered things, felt things and saw things and she felt it pull her apart, piece by piece. She closed her eyes and prayed, asking her father, grandmother and brother for guidance and strength, but the feelings remained and she shrugged, fingering the gun in her pocket as she opened her eyes and looked back out the window.

Logan leaned in close to Dean's ear, "Something's not right."

Dean pulled back so he could see Logan's face and when clear, blue eyes met his he shivered. He lifted his chin to the front seat, "Who?"

Logan motioned to the passenger seat. "Too much anger, her aura is almost completely gray and sulfur colored, pain and anger and nothing to balance it out." Logan's eyes shifted to the back of Kate's head. "She's lost in her pain."

Dean sighed and his head fell back against the seat as he looked over at Kate, "What do we do?"

Logan's eyes fell back to Dean, "We pray."

"Shit." Dean lifted his head. "I mean anything else."

Logan's eyes answered him, but she shook her head. "Ipos didn't take anything from her, but the memories he gave her are overwhelming her defenses. She used her reserves to survive. Maybe new memories, good ones would help, but I'm not sure."

Kate looked over her shoulder at them. She heard parts of the conversation, not all of it, but enough to know they were talking about her. She really didn't care. Logan's pale gaze meant she knew. She caught Logan's gaze and stared into it. There was something peaceful about it, she felt as if Logan could see straight into her.

Logan gasped and her hand shot forward to grab Kate's shoulder, "I'm so sorry Kate…so sorry."

Kate shrugged and wiped at new tears, "I know." She suddenly turned toward the front and then told Sam he needed to turn left at the next marked lane.

Logan sat, still staring into the space that Kate had just occupied. Dean's hand and his voice finally making her lean back and look over to him.

"What the hell was that about? You zoned out on me." Dean's eyes traveled over Logan's face.

Logan shook her head, "What do you mean?"

"Hello! Over a minute you sat there without moving, staring into the front seat. Kate turned around and you still just stared…I've been trying to get your attention the whole time." Dean glanced out the window as they turned down the snow-clogged lane. A few tire tracks really the only thing marking that it was actually a road.

The glare of headlights passed through the inside of the truck a few seconds after they turned as Bobby followed behind them.

Logan wrinkled her forehead, "I was telling Kate how sorry I was."

"With what, some kind of chick only communication method?" Dean smiled hesitantly.

Logan rolled her eyes, "No idiot. Words, I told her I was sorry, she said she knew."

Dean grabbed her arm and shook his head, "No, Logan you didn't."

Logan's mouth dropped open, "What the hell, Dean I did too."

Dean shook his head, "No. You stared and you put your hand on the seat. Kate turned, she stared at you and then she turned back to tell Sam to turn. You just sat there staring."

Dean leaned forward, "Kate?"

Kate turned and looked back at the couple behind her, "Yeah?"

"Were you just talking to Logan?" Dean's voice was overly loud in the quiet of the truck.

Kate stared at him as if he'd lost his mind, "You were sitting right beside her. I'm sure you heard us."

"Sam?" Dean looked at the back of his brother's head and when he saw him incline his head slightly without looking from the road he asked, "You hear the girls talk a few minutes ago…I'm sorry, I know kinda' crap?"

Sam shook his head, "No, I heard you two mumbling on in the back seat, then Kate told me where to turn. That's it."

Dean's eyebrows shot up and he looked from Kate to Logan and back, "See, no words, but seems you both know what was said."

Kate looked at Logan and shook her head, "I know you were talking to me. I heard you, and I know I responded back."

Logan nodded, "I'm with you on this one, but if we were thinking the thoughts, knew the other heard and all, then maybe it just seems that way to us."

"But how, Logan? You've haven't done anything like that before have you?" Sam asked without turning.

Logan shook her head. "No. Only the things I've sensed and or saw."

Dean carded his hand through his hair, "Okay add one more level of weird to the never ending stack." He looked over at Logan, "Any idea how it worked?"

Logan shook her head, "Just looked Kate in the eye, I saw her…I mean inside I saw her feelings and then I swear I talked to her."

Dean looked at Kate, "You feel anything different?"

Kate nodded slowly, "The thoughts stopped. It was peaceful for a few seconds then she told me she was sorry, I said I knew and it was over."

"I think this is as far as the vehicles go." Sam said pulling the truck to a stop and sliding it into park.

The lane had given way to a small clearing, an old, beat up Suburban sat to the left of the car. There was a path of footprints barely visible disappearing beyond the light of the headlamps and off in the distance a flicker of light was visible. Bobby pulled his truck around the Land Rover so that it faced back in the direction of the lane and then parked. He exited the truck and made his way to Sam's window.

Bobby was talking as Sam rolled the window down. "Smart if you turn around and face the way we leave…never know when those extra seconds might come in handy."

Sam nodded and put the truck into reverse, backing up and turning. He pulled forward and then backed again until the truck was angled behind Bobby's, but still able to clear it if necessary.

Dean and Logan exited the vehicle and gathered the duffle of weapons from the back. They made there way to where Bobby was studying a map. Logan pulled out a small, penlight and clicked on the dull red bulb, allowing the trio to see better in the fading light.

Sam turned the key and looked over to Kate, who was staring straight ahead, her right hand gripping the door handle and her left buried in the pocket of her jacket. Sam knew Kate's fingers were around the handle of the .45 she'd stashed there. His left hand brushed the few strands of hair that had escaped her ponytail, from her cheek and tucked them behind her ear. Then his hand slid to her neck while his thumb gently caressed along her jaw line.

"Kate, listen to me." He waited until she looked over at him, her eyes not quite finding his, "We'll get her back, I promise. You don't have to come if you don't want to. You can stay here."

Kate was shaking her head even before he finished. A dark smile on her face, "No. I want to watch the bastard die, Sam." She looked Sam, full in the eye.

A small gasp of surprise escaped Sam's lips before he could prevent it. The coldness he saw on her face was shocking. "Kate, please tell me you're going to be alright."

Kate felt the tears and shook her head, "I was hoping you'd tell me that I Sam…please tell me it will be okay, because I'm terrified." Kate's voice trembled and she bit her lip. Her eyes were pleading with Sam. Pleading for something, she hoped he could offer, "I need you to tell me that I'll survive this. That I'll end up like I was…that Paige will be okay, that all the darkness in my head will eventually go away or at least fade to something manageable." Kate's grip on the gun tightened and she felt herself finger the trigger, before sliding her finger back up along the barrel. "Logan told me I was brave. I told her I wasn't, just too stupid to realize how afraid I should've been. Now, I'm going to add too stubborn to admit how afraid I've actually been."

Sam's hand tightened on the back of Kate's neck and he gave a gentle, but firm shake. His heart hurt at the rawness of the pain he saw in her eyes. All he wanted was the carefree, smiling, fun-loving, sweet and giving woman he'd met a few days ago. He knew she was still there, but he knew how dealing closely with evil changes people. When you're hurt by evil or watch the people you love get hurt by it you can't help but change. He never knew his father as the loving man Dean once knew long ago, but only the hardened, protective man who loved fiercely, but was too single minded to be the father Sam always wanted him to be. He saw how hard and serious Ellen Harvelle was, he knew Bobby was different too. So many people changed because they dealt with the darkness.

Sam cursed himself silently, now darkness had touched Kate in one of the most intimate and devastating ways and he wished he'd never walked up to her in the bar and introduced himself. He wished he never noticed her smile, or her eyes or the way she looked when he kissed her. He swallowed the lump of emotion in his throat, "Kate, I can promise you one thing and it's this: I will do everything in my power to help you. You tell me what it is you want and I'll do it."

Kate wiped her eyes on her sleeve and nodded, "Right now. I want to kill the son of a bitch that has my friend." She turned and opened the door. Glancing over her shoulder, she gave Sam another hard smile as she slid from the truck. "Then we'll see." She slammed the door and moved over the Dean, Logan and Bobby, thankful that the darkness hid enough of her face to keep the tears a secret.

Sam sent a silent prayer heavenward and exited the truck. A shotgun in his right hand he moved beside Bobby, "We have a plan?"

Dean slapped him on the shoulder, "Yeah, we head to the cabin and hope for the best."

Bobby looked up from the map and turned to Kate, "Any running water around here by chance?"

Kate squinted into the distance and nodded. She pointed in the direction of the cabin, "There's a good sized stream that runs in a pretty straight line behind the cabin." She traced a path from the left of where they stood to the right, "Then it curves this way for about a quarter of a mile, dips into a good sized pool. Then in snakes back down the mountain." She pointed to the right.

Bobby grunted, "Well, if the theory holds, we now have a way to kill him."

Dean caught Logan's face and he leaned down to her ear, "You okay?"

Logan's eyes caught Dean's, "It's just hard…I mean he's still my brother right?"

Dean shrugged, "He stopped being family the minute he chose to hurt you. Family doesn't do that to each other." Dean paused and glanced at Sam, "We look out for each other, sacrifice ourselves for each other, drive each other crazy, but we don't hurt each other that way."

Sam heard Dean's words and nodded as he looked at his brother, "Yeah, we do and even if we think it's stupid, we understand and appreciate the gesture…even when we could kill the other for making decisions that forever change things."

Bobby grunted again, "Oh, for the sake of all that's holy, boys! You two'd drive a tea-totaling preacher to go on a drinkin' binge." He ran a hand over his face, "My hearts melting, but can we get to the business at hand. One bad-ass Nephilim needs put down." He looked to Logan, "I know you still think of him as your brother, Logan. Finn was my nephew but I know there isn't anything of Finn left in there. He's as a good as one of those demons we've put away in the past and deep inside you know it."

Logan grimaced, but nodded, "I know Uncle Bobby, I know…it's still a little hard to wrap my head around that's all."

Bobby nodded, "And that right there is what separates us from the evil we hunt. We know how precious each life is. We save who we can. We kill what we can and we hope for the best on what we miss." Bobby folded the map and put it into the chest pocket of his vest. His eyes drifted over each one of the others and his lips settled into a grim line when he saw Logan's pale eyes reflecting the fading light back at him and he frowned when he saw the darkness in Kate's. He sighed and turned toward the cabin, "Now, let's go kill this nasty son of a bitch, once and for all."

**_Okay, this one took a bit longer than usual because my school work got in the way ( _**

**_I hope to have the next chapter ready soonish...but reviews are always, always great and my muse is feeling abused because I chained it to the textbooks._**

**_Thanks to all my reviewers and even my lurkers...I know you're out there :)_**


	62. Crave the Dark, the Pain, the Loss

**_WARNING: This chapter has what might be considered disturbing sexual imagery...if you don't think you'll like it don't read it and no it's not meant to be erotic... So, if you find it erotic...I don't want to know. _**

**_If you choose to skip, PM me and I'll tell you what you missed._**

_Meanwhile…_

Paige lay sprawled on the dirty bed, paging through a catalogue that was at least ten years old, though the cover was missing so she wasn't sure. Her right hand throbbed and she cursed at the constant dull pain, and dropped her left hand to the floor to pick up the half empty bottle of cheap vodka resting in the midst of the trash and filth on the floor boards. She raised the bottle to her lips and took a long drink, enjoying the warmth that spread down her chest.

Paige shivered and hugged her arms around her chest; the room was cold, even with the fire burning in across the room. She sighed and pushed herself upright as she swung her eyes to the small table that was in the middle of the large room that made up the entire cabin. The bed was against one wall, fireplace along the opposite one and an old sink and gas stove sat along the third. A ladder, about three quarters of the way to the back wall, led to a small loft where an old mattress, infested with mice and who knew what else, was slowly rotting into the floor.

Paige stared at Finn, who sat at the table with his open eyes staring into the fire. He didn't move or blink and Paige wasn't sure he was still aware of her presence. She stood and stretched before moving as quietly as possible until she stood behind the man in the chair. Her eyes took in the items on the table: an old knife, an unopened bottle of vodka, a crossbow and a leather roll holding four old iron bolts. Paige held her breath and carefully reached her good hand toward the table. Fingers hovered just above the knife and suddenly her wrist was in the vice-like grip of Finn's hand and she found herself pressed facedown against the table with the crossbow pressing painfully into her chest.

Finn smiled above her as she whimpered and he leaned his chest into her back pressing her more painfully against the table, "What are you up to, bitch?" He asked roughly, twisting her left arm viciously, until she cried out.

Paige struggled and then went still.

When she didn't answer, Finn grunted, "That's what I thought." He released his grip and sat back into the chair, leaving Paige lying across the table.

Paige's hand moved forward and she gripped the full vodka bottle even as she began to stand and simultaneously turn to face Finn. She smiled as she twisted the cap from the bottle with her teeth and spit it to the floor. Then she tipped it to her lips, drank a significant amount and held it to Finn as she straddled his lap, smiling. "Have a drink with me." She leaned her mouth to Finn's ear and roughly bit at his earlobe. When he squirmed beneath her she tugged it before letting it go to kiss down his neck to his collarbone.

Finn shifted his head to the side to allow Paige better access to his skin and hefted the bottle, taking a long, slow swallow before slamming it back onto the table and grabbing her hips as she moved them over his lap. "You're a piece of work, you know that?"

Finn smiled remembering how he'd found Paige six months ago, met her in a club that catered to a select crowd of perverts. Took her home and used her good. She liked it rough and even fought back some only to beg for more, total pain slut that she was. He let his hand drift into her hair and smiled at the memory of introducing her to witchcraft. He seduced her with the sexual magic, showed her how spells could make it better. Then he taught her how to summon. She had a knack for it, a natural, but of course he'd done his research. Centuries back women in her family were burned for witchcraft. Oh, then when she summoned his lover and actually invited her to use her body, on what she thought would be a temporary basis, he was overjoyed. He chuckled as she teased him. He could sense them both wanting to please him, needing him.

Finn's head drifted back as Paige's hands fell to the fly of his jeans, massaging him through the denim. "Shit, those damn hunters are just outside the door and you wanna' fuck?" He complained even as his hands drifted up her sides and under her coat to find skin.

Paige chuckled. "Hmm, I always get hot at the thought of a fight…" She pulled back and pouted at him, "'Sides, I think I deserve an award for my acting. Kate doesn't have a fucking clue you know." Paige kissed him and remembered Finn's plan. Logan had to die so they could put an end to the prophesy that hovered over him constantly. Paige needed her gone, because she couldn't imagine life without him. A small flicker of regret for hurting her friend ran through her, but it was easily squashed by the promise of pleasure. Kate was incidental. Logan was the target and well taking out the Winchesters and the old man were simply bonus.

Finn picked up the knife on the table, "You know, you look a little too good for having been kidnapped and used by me." He held the knife up to Paige's cheek, "I really should mark you up a bit." He smiled as he watched Paige's eyes grow wide and he knew it wasn't from fear.

Paige swallowed and nodded. "Yeah…" her voice was hoarse and thin, "…you probably should." A shiver ran through her and the fingers of her left hand kneaded Finn's shoulder. She wasn't however, prepared for the fist that landed on her jaw tumbling her to the floor.

Finn stood and moved over Paige as she was trying to push herself into a sitting position. He brought his foot back and landed a nasty kick to her side, dropping her back onto the floor. He laughed as he knelt beside her, "Shit, baby…" He grabbed her hair and lifted her head from the floor, as his eyes took in the blood oozing from the side of her mouth. He lowered his head and raked his tongue over the blood, "…you're so fucking pretty when you bleed for me."

Paige smiled up at him and squirmed, trying to get her feet under her, "Don't tease me you bastard." Paige turned her head and spit a mouthful of blood to the dirty floor, "Use me." Paige kicked out with her foot and managed to land a half-decent kick to Finn's shin.

Finn laughed and stood, his hand still tangled in Paige's hair, he pulled her up with him. "Oh, you tempt me." Finn crushed her to his chest and kissed her. His teeth biting and scraping even as she kissed him back.

Paige's hands found Finn's shoulders and her left one rose to his cheek, nails suddenly, viciously digging into the flesh over his cheekbone, and then slashing downward. Paige laughed against his mouth as she felt the blood trickling from the four deep scratches and she broke the kiss to wipe her nails against the heavy cotton canvas of his coat, leaving bits of bloody flesh behind.

Finn grunted, but gave her a cold smile, "Oh, that was not very nice of you." One hand still wrapped in her hair, his other retrieved the knife from the table. Finn stabbed repeatedly into Paige's chest and belly. Shallow, quick movements, none deep enough to cause major damage, but she began to look bad as bloody trails fell from the wounds.

Paige whimpered and stood limp in Finn's grasp, her eyes still wide and glazed with need, "Please…god, please yes."

Finn laughed, "God? You asking for his help?" Finn watched as Paige shook her head, "Good because he won't help you or me...both of us are too far gone for God." Finn spit onto the floor, "You are one sick woman who fucking deserves everything she gets and you know it." Finn pulled the zipper down on Paige's coat and with a long, quick twist of his wrist he opened her shirt with the knife. He pulled it open and enjoyed the sight of her naked breasts, blood still flowing from the shallow stab wounds. "That is fucking hot."

Paige nodded at him and moaned when he pressed his obviously aroused lower body against her hip, "Please, Finn…please…" Paige purred and rubbed herself against him, begging for his attention, needing it desperately.

Finn laughed and forced her back toward the bed and pushing her onto it roughly when he reached it. He paused and listened, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "They're almost here, baby…I can smell that sweet sister of mine and those others." He glanced down at Paige as she writhed on the bed, needy little gasps echoing in the cabin, her hands down the open front of her jeans, blood running into the mattress beneath her. He laughed, loud and deep and undid his fly.

Paige watched as Finn stroked himself over her. He wasn't going to take her and she knew it. He'd told her he couldn't, it would make him too weak, but she was getting desperate. It had been too long. Too damn long. All the men in her bed over the last few days hadn't even touched the burning need inside her. She'd gone through so many. One right after the other, sometimes four or five at a time, but she still felt like she was on fire. Nothing came close to the way she felt when Finn touched her, hurt her and made her his.

Finn watched, he could see her thoughts in her eyes and he smiled cruelly down at her and shook his head, "When we finish up here, baby. I promise, I'll fuck you death if you want me to." He shivered at his words…oh, he just might do that, well at least the shell that Naamah was currently residing in. He watched her blink and then coal black eyes stared up at him.

She smiled up at him and continued to touch herself, watching him stroke himself slowly. She threw her head back and tensed before collapsing onto the bed. She smiled wide at him and watched as he tilted his head to the side, listening. "I hate you…and no you can't fuck this body to death. It likes what you do to it, and that is hard to find."

She ran her hands over her bloody torso and smeared the blood onto her jeans, clothes and bed as she sat up and then pressed her bloody chest against his thighs. She ran her bloodied hands up his chest, marking him with the sticky drying substance until he looked almost as bloody as she did. She laughed, "I like this body too much, loverboy and I've taken care of it for six months now, so no injuring it beyond repair. Besides, it actually wants you to hurt it." Black eyes closed, "She's in there begging for more, almost as much as I am." Naamah tucked Finn back into his jeans and zipped his fly. "They're going to be here in seconds."

She dropped back to the bed, angling herself like she lay where she was thrown, just as the door flew open and Bobby stepped inside.

**_Okay, so you made it this far...what did you think. Too yucky? (As if this story hasn't had enough yuck already) I just wanted to show how much a sick mother Finn is...think I made my point._**

**_So, how was that for a plot twist and I've been waiting all this time to pull it off...ahh finally. I hope none of you saw that coming :) Let the muse know what you think and I may actually have the next chapter up pretty soon..._**


	63. The Way Things Happened

Bobby glanced around the single room that was the old cabin. He saw Finn, covered in blood standing beside a bed. A figure, probably Paige, lay across it as if she'd been dropped where she lay. Four deep scratches marred Finn's handsome face, blood still oozing lazily from them. Bobby figured they were recent based on the wetness of the blood. Bobby aimed the old revolver, loaded with blessed iron rounds, directly at Finn's head.

Bobby motioned to the bed, "Looks like she got a piece of you, boy."

A wide smile spread across Finn's face as he turned to face the older hunter, "Now, now Uncle Bobby…" Finn made a show of fastening the button of his jeans, "…Not before I got piece of her though." Finn winked. "Where're my sister and the dynamic duo?"

Bobby spit onto the floor, "They're around. Why don't you step away from the girl 'fore I put a bullet through your head again…might not'a killed ya, but I'm sure it hurt like hell didn't it?" Bobby didn't alter his stance a millimeter, just motioned with his chin toward the bed.

Finn laughed and subconsciously rubbed a hand across his forehead, "You left me with a headache for a week and honestly, I was surprised you had it in you to shoot a seventeen year old kid." Finn lifted his hands in surrender and moved toward the back of the cabin where the little kitchen was.

Bobby kept the gun trained on his target but moved in tandem with the younger man until he stood beside the bed. He glanced down at the young woman, "Shit." He returned his gaze to Finn and then hollered over his shoulder, "Sam, Dean need some…" Bobby was cut short as a strong arm snaked around his neck and a knife was suddenly pressing against the left side of his throat.

"Drop the gun." The feminine voice said coldly against the side of Bobby's head.

Bobby was shocked, but not overly so. His eyes were still on Finn as Sam and Dean pushed into the cabin.

Paige pressed the knife deeper into the skin of Bobby's throat, "Drop it old man or I'll slice your neck open and bleed you like the sacrificial lamb you are." Paige licked her lips and shot a glance to the door where the Winchester brothers were now standing, weapons in hand but pointing at the floor.

"Do it Bobby. She doesn't look like she's fooling around." Dean moved into the room a couple of steps, but stopped when Paige drew blood and Bobby hissed.

Bobby looked to the boys and then with a fling of his wrist he sent the gun clattering to the floor toward the front door. It stopped about four feet in front of Sam's feet.

Sam looked over at Paige, confusion evident on his face. He shook his head and focused, but he didn't get any strange vibe from her. He moved to the left of Dean. Sawed off shotgun pointed at the floor his eyes darted between Paige as he threatened Bobby and the now laughing Finn.

Finn moved toward Sam and Dean and then paused about a foot from them. He inhaled deeply, his eyes drifting closed. He smiled as his eyes slowly opened, "Where's my sister? I can smell her all over you, you know." Finn leaned closer to Dean, and spoke softly so only, he could hear, "She's a satisfying piece of ass isn't she?"

Dean ground his teeth together and fought the desire to tackle Finn to the ground. Unable completely to control the impulse his fist shot out. He almost managed to connect.

With unnatural speed, Finn caught Dean's fist in his own. He smiled and twisted fiercely, forcing Dean to move, or suffer a broken arm.

Dean grunted as Finn moved him, forcing him to his knees. He saw Sam raise the shotgun out of the corner of his eye, just before the tears clouded his vision. Shit, he felt as if his shoulder was going to give at any time. Sweat popped out across his forehead and he panted, refusing to admit how much pain he was in. "Fuck. You. You. Piece of shit." Dean bit out, staring up at Finn, hatred in his eyes.

"Let him go." Sam's voice was quiet and he pressed the shotgun against Finn's chest. He raised his eyebrow at the other man. "Let him go and step back."

Finn looked down at Dean and twisted his arm one last time. He smiled with satisfaction when he heard the loud pop, followed by the guttural moan that issued from Dean's throat as he dislocated the man's shoulder. He slid his hands up into the air and took a step back.

"Dean. Dean, you hanging in there man?" Sam asked, gun trained on Finn, eyes full of concern for his brother.

Blackness swirled and bile rose in his throat, but Dean managed to nod weakly, "Yeah, Sammy…peachy." Dean's response was weak and he began to attempt to stand, but his balance was off as he cradled his right arm against his chest.

Sam glanced to his brother and then to Finn. He moved to Dean's uninjured side and pulled him as gently as possible to his feet. He kept his hand on Dean's arm, steadying him.

After half a minute, Dean shrugged off his brother's arm and bent to retrieve his gun from the floor. He glared at Finn, who stood smiling back at him.

"Ohh, did I hurt you?" Finn asked with mock sincerity. "Complete accident." He chuckled to himself and then glanced to the door, "Now, where is that sister of mine? I know she came with you. I can feel her."

Dean moved to the door just as Logan entered the cabin, the pistol grip shotgun resting on her shoulder. Dean paused in the doorway and tucked the nickel-plated Colt into the waist of his jeans. He swallowed, and took several unsteady breaths in an attempt to keep from throwing up.

Logan noticed Dean's color and the way he held his shoulder and then she pushed past him into the room, anger flashing in her pale eyes. She moved to stand beside Sam and glared across the few feet between them and Finn. Her eyes caught his and she smiled when he shivered. A smile spread across her face, "What? Scared, Finn?"

Finn shook his head, "Of you? That's rich little sister."

Ignoring the sudden presence of Sam's hand on her arm, she took two steps toward her brother. "You value your existence. I know you do." She ran her eyes up his frame and then settled them on his face, "I can see the fear on you…running off you in waves. Your aura reeks of it." Her head motioned to Paige, "Your slut over there…" She watched Finn's eyes dart toward the bed, "She's terrified. She knows her destruction is near…." Logan turned her gaze to Paige, "Don't you Naamah? What I'm trying to figure out is what you're doing slumming with a Nephilim."

Paige's eyes shifted to black and she gave Logan a cold smile. "You threaten my lover…you threaten me and yet I still hold the life of this mortal in my hands." She laughed and pressed the blade into Bobby's neck, drawing blood. "I can bleed him dry and you won't be able to do a thing about it." She drew the knife across his throat, opening up a shallow cut from ear to ear and smiled when he gasped softly. Her eyes still on Logan she dipped her head to the side of his neck and licked at the blood that welled up along the thin line.

For Dean, still struggling with the rising nausea as he slumped in the doorframe, it was too much and he lurched out into the cold and emptied his stomach into the snow.

* * *

Kate stood confused on the rickety porch. She saw Paige, watched as she threatened Bobby as Finn threatened Dean. She hadn't been able to enter the cabin. Fear was thick in her blood, freezing her as memories overwhelmed her, but seeing Dean crumbled against the rotting steps as he vomited jerked her back to herself and she moved over to him, knelt beside him and waited until he was done.

Dean lifted his head and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. Pain was pounding sharp and angry through his shoulder. He felt Kate beside him and turned toward her. He gave her a weak smile, "Fucking, hurts."

Kate nodded, "Dislocated shoulders usually do." Kate probed gently along the shoulder and listened to Dean hiss in pain. "Think you can stand?"

Dean nodded, "Just need to pop it back in." He pushed upward, letting Kate help him as he stood.

"I can put it back for you, safer and a bit less painful than you slamming against the doorframe…" She smiled, "…I figure that's what you usually do if someone's not around."

Dean grunted, "Yeah, so what do I need to do?"

Kate pointed to the far end of the small porch. An old potting bench was along the wall. "Lean over the table there, bad arm hanging off the edge."

Dean raised an eyebrow, "You sure? Sammy usually has me lie down?"

Kate nodded, "And since I'm not nearly as strong as Sam, we'll have to use everything at our disposal…like gravity."

Dean bent over, right arm dangling from the side of the waist high table and he groaned as the weight of the arm put pressure on the already damaged joint.

Kate moved to his side, her fingers gently massaging the muscles of his shoulder and upper back. "Turn your head away and breathe nice slow, deep breaths; in and out. I'll tell you before I do anything. Just breathe. Focus on relaxing your upper body." Kate continued talking in a soothing way as her hands massaged and probed softly. She worked her hands down his arm, one settling above his elbow and the other moving in smooth strokes up and down from elbow to wrist.

"Breathe and relax." Kate gently shook the injured arm, barely moving it and she felt Dean tense with pain. She stopped moving, one hand above the elbow and the other now gripping his wrist.

"Easy, for you to say…hurts…" Dean mumbled.

Kate shook his arm once more, waiting for Dean's reaction and then when she stopped moving, the tension faded and Dean relaxed against the table. Using that reflexive relaxation to her advantage, Kate suddenly pulled straight down.

Dean cursed, but the shoulder moved with a soft pop and then the pain faded to a manageable ache. "Fuck, thought you were gonna warn me?"

Kate released his lower arm and backed up as Dean stood and turned. "Stop being a baby. I needed you relaxed."

Dean moved the shoulder gingerly, rolling it and rubbing at it with his left hand. He raised an eyebrow, "Huh? Not as sore as usual."

Kate rolled her eyes, "Yeah, well you probably wait forever to fix it and then slamming it against a wall isn't a good way to replace it…." Kate glanced to the door and shivered.

Dean noticed and moved back toward the doorway, "Wait out here, Kate." He turned when he felt her behind him. He smiled at her, "Thanks by the way."

"Don't mention it. It's good that I do things…keeps the bad thoughts away." She frowned and then looked away, "Paige?"

Dean sighed. Hell. "She's possessed, Kate…but something else is going on." Dean grabbed Kate's shoulder, "Look. This is not your fault. I'm serious, there's something that doesn't fit…I just don't know what it is."

**_More coming soon. Let me know what you think..._**


	64. Oh, You Sexy Thing!

**_This chapter is well...a little different and includes a bit of everything. It became something else entirely in its rewrite, so I hope you all like it, and don't worry if you don't. I promise the next one will be more in line with what I've been doing up until now..._**

Dean entered the cabin and was shocked to see Bobby lying unmoving on the floor beside the bed. Paige was standing with Finn near the center of the room. She stood huddled behind him, black eyes wide and a serious look on her face.

Dean took in Logan's stance beside Sam and the harsh stare she was aiming at Finn. There was no movement in the room. Dean did a slow double take…he was right, it wasn't just that the other people in the room weren't moving, but that nothing was moving, even the flames in the fireplace were undulating slowly, unnaturally.

Dean stepped forward and felt it. Something similar to the outer darkness he and Logan encountered at the skating rink, only this didn't feel ominous. It was more like a simple pressure against his skin, pushing against his eardrums and making the hair on the back of his neck stand on end as he moved closer to his brother and Logan.

He reached Sam and laid a hand on his brother's arm. The spell broken, Sam spun and brought the shotgun up. Dean jumped back a step, "Whoa, easy man…easy, it's me."

Sam lowered the weapon, "Damn Dean, make some noise or something…" Sam glanced over his shoulder and his jaw dropped, "What the hell is going on?"

Dean shrugged and then winced when it hurt his shoulder, "Well, that's a good question. You were doing the same thing until I touched your shoulder."

Sam shook his head, "Can't be, Dean. I was listening to Logan question her brother and Naamah." Sam frowned and shrugged, "You know she's a succubus? Paige freaking invited her in and is thrilled that she's there." Sam glanced at his brother's serious face then asked, "You think it's like that thing between Kate and her in the truck?"

Both Dean's eyebrows shot up and he leveled his "Duh" face at his brother. "Yeah, it's what I think." Dean motioned toward the bed, "Bobby alright?"

Sam sighed, "I think so, Paige knocked him on the head pretty good though."

Dean put his hand on Logan's shoulder. He went stiff as an electric shock flew up his arm and down his spine. Voices in that creepy language Sam used to exorcise Ipos, surged into his thoughts. Feelings and words he couldn't understand making his head hurt, he must have bit his tongue, because he tasted blood. He wanted to drop his hand, but couldn't and his head started to pound and throb with each heartbeat. His heart pounded in his chest and his hand fisted in the material of Logan's coat.

Sam watched his brother go stiff and his eyes go wide. When Dean's head flew back on his shoulders and a trickle of blood ran from the corner of his mouth he grew concerned, but when Dean started shaking and making low keening noises, like he was in pain, Sam knew he should do something. He grabbed Dean's arm and separated him from Logan.

Dean dropped like a rock, falling to the dirty floor before Sam could catch him. Hands wrapped around his head as he curled into a fetal position, Dean struggled to breathe. His head throbbed, but the pain was slowly fading. Vaguely, he realized Sam was kneeling beside him, asking him something, but the words weren't registering. Dean forced himself to focus on Sam's words.

"Dean?! Shit, Dean will you fucking answer me?!" Sam grabbed Dean and shook him, surprised when a jolt of power went up his arm. It startled him, but it didn't hurt, it reminded him of a static charge.

"Sammy…" Dean propped himself up with his left hand, pushing slowly to a sitting position. "I heard it and felt it Sam, but it's in that freaky language you and Logan spit out like you've known it from birth." Dean rubbed at the back of his neck and took the hand that Sam held out to him.

Sam pulled Dean up, "I didn't realize they weren't talking in English….Hell, if you can call it talking." He eyed Logan again. "I can't hear her now, but before you touched me Naamah was spilling her guts." Sam smirked, "Which was pissing Finn off, big time."

Dean shook out his left hand, working out the pins and needles. His right shoulder continued to ache with a deep dull throb and his head had now joined the chorus of pain singing through his body. He grunted at Sam's words, "Huh? So, Paige has been possessed this whole time? How'd she get past Logan's eyes?"

Sam shrugged, "It's new, she probably can't control it." He moved beside Logan and reached for her shoulder.

"Dude that packs a wallop…" Dean insisted as he watched Sam's hand settle on Logan's arm. He watched as Logan turned and then the spell was broken.

Finn was laughing. "That's a cool trick. How 'bout you show me how to do it?" He pulled Naamah against his side, "Better yet, let me show you one." Finn bent and whispered something in Paige's ear.

Naamah's laugh bubbled out of Paige's mouth as she moved about a foot from Finn and dropped her head forward as if she were looking at the floor. She held her arms slightly out from her sides, palm up and began to chant. "'Ksh mele nurta e' i' corm e' apanonar. Runya aiya, rwalaerea ar' lava seasolle." (_Evil passions hiding in the heart of men. Rise now, lustful ones and yeild to your pleasure.)_

Her voice clear, and sharp almost crystalline. She raised her head, black eyes appearing almost glazed and the air around her shimmered and shifted as it pulsed out from her in waves.

The wave hit Finn first and he growled deep in his throat, his eyes on Paige as her form changed.

Sam grabbed Dean's arm and yanked him backward toward the door. "Move it man…"

Logan glanced over her shoulder at the boys and winked before turning back to Paige and Finn. Logan raised her left hand straight out to her side, palm down and "Amin cael u'uma goga en' Naamah, agargulnaerlle." (_I am not afraid of you, Naamah, you blood sucker.)_

Naamah laughed deep in the back of Paige's throat it rose, the pitch changing as her skin flushed suddenly to deep reddish purple.

Sam and Dean stood about a foot from the door, the loud intake of breath behind them made them turn to see that Kate was in the doorway, shock and disbelief on her face.

"My god…Paige!" Kate stepped into the room, and started moving toward Logan.

Sam grabbed her arm. "Don't…that's no longer Paige and Naamah is casting a spell. We shouldn't be too close." Sam looked back at the spectacle unfolding in the center of the room and moved to stand behind and to the right of Logan.

Paige was gone and in her place was a female demon in her true form. Purple skin covered her entire body. The purple was slightly lighter on her face and belly, and a deep shade of red stained her nipples and the two wings that graced her back. Her hair was waist length and pitch-black, it hung in a shimmering curtain down her back, some of which fell across her chest, partially covering her breasts.

Naamah smiled, sharp white teeth gleaming against the lush redness of her lips in the dim light of the room. She looked over her shoulder and sighed before unfolding and stretching the wings in a slow sensuous motion before wrapping them around her lower body like a sarong. Her fingers and toes resembled talons with long black nails. She swayed side to side seductively as she looked over at Finn.

Finn covered the distance between him and Naamah with a blur of movement. He was suddenly pressing himself against her, his hands tangling in her hair as he pressed his lips to the side of the demon's throat and ground himself against her him.

Naamah chuckled throatily and inhaled deeply as she raised her head to the ceiling, her hands before her as if in supplication. There was a rush through the air as if someone had opened a door, the fire flared and then she spoke. Her voice powerful, but the words seductive, delicate, like chimes tinkling in a delicate wind, "'Ksh mele nurta e' i' corm e' apanonar. Runya aiya, rwalaerea ar' lava seasolle." (_Evil passions hiding in the heart of men. Rise now, lustful ones and yeild to your pleasure.)_

The air shimmered and a wave of energy, stronger than the previous one, shot through the room in a sudden rush.

Dean watched as Logan raised her right palm and he could actually see the energy split into two separate waves as it parted around her. The next second one of the waves slammed into him and he almost collapsed. He stood for a second as heat shot through his body. It fired his blood and sent the most intense desire he had ever felt crashing through him.

Dean could only focus on one thing. Every memory and fantasy and desire rose to the forefront of his thoughts in a sensual overload. He saw sex everywhere. Every object suddenly reminded him of something erotic. Dean's eyes shot around the room and he realized each breath was a short gasp. Sweat beaded his forehead and the need to grind himself against warm flesh rushed up in an attempt to drag him under.

Dean glanced around the room, trying to find some neutral ground for his thoughts, but it was getting ever more difficult for him to focus on a single thought that didn't involve sex. He was so hard it hurt to move, to breathe and the friction from the denim of his jeans was pushing his already strained concentration beyond his limits. Dean's eyes found Sam's.

Standing almost directly behind Logan spared Sam and Kate the brunt of the spell, though Sam witnessed the spell crash into his brother. He watched as it rocked him back onto his heels before raising an immediate flush to his skin. Shit. Just what he needed. If it weren't for the fact that Naamah was now feeding off the lust she'd raised in Dean and Finn, energizing her, making her stronger, Sam would have laughed.

Sam felt the remnants of the spell swirl in the air and a small pulse of desire kicked him in the groin. One glance at Kate's slightly heavy eyes made him realize she felt it too and she moved to stand closer to his side. Sam caught his brother's eyes and instantly every humorous thought faded.

"Sammy…" Dean's voice was harsh and husky, yet smooth as silk, like fine scotch. Dean shook with need as each heartbeat vibrating through him like the caress of a lover. "Sam…god…I…" Dean panted and fought the urge to move toward his brother and Kate and press himself against another body.

Sam took a step toward Dean, only to stop when he heard his brother's abrupt words.

"NO! Shit, Sam…don't come….fuck…" Dean groaned, "Bad word…choice…" He attempted a reassuring smile, but it ended up looking pained, "…stay 'way…don't think…shit that's…" Dean had shed his coat and heavy flannel shirt and stood in his jeans and t-shirt. His hands moved down opposite arms and across his chest and his head fell back on his shoulders with a long, needy moan, "…need, it bad Sam…please." Dean writhed and dropped a hand to the waist of his jeans, "please…help…please…" Dean continued to run his hands over his chest, now up under his shirt as he dropped his head forward and looked at Sam's face.

The heat in his brother's gaze made Sam blush, but he understood what Dean was trying to tell him. Hell no, he wasn't going any closer…sick, fucking demon spell.

Naamah laughed and Sam spun toward her as he felt a flicker of energy rush past him again, like a draft. Naamah, appeared stronger, more solid and Sam cursed and stepped up to Logan. "She's feeding off Dean and Finn, Logan."

Logan nodded, her eyes still on the succubus across the room.

Sam ran a hand through his shaggy hair, "Um, yeah, but Logan…Dean's flipping out." Sam shot a glance at his brother, who was now staring with lust filled intent at Kate. Sam levelled the shotgun at his brother. "Dean, so help me…I'll shoot you."

Dean's eyes shot back to Sam, "Kay, Sammy…if it…makes it stop…shit, perverted…fucking thoughts…" Dean forced his eyes shut, "Make it stop…or do something about it!" Dean forced out between clenched teeth.

Dean was fighting the urge to rip his jeans off and jerk off where he stood. Hell, he needed to do something and jerking off in front of an audience sure beat the nasty thoughts involving Sam and Kate and Logan and even the ugly fucking demon bitch that were running through his head. He partly blamed Logan for…he groaned and smiled. Logan…Dean forced his hands to the seams on the legs of his jeans. He focused on one thought: Iwillnottouchmyself, Iwillnottouchmyself, Iwillnottouchmyself…

Finn had no such inhibitions. He had his hand buried in the open fly of his jeans as he stroked himself and laughed. Fuck, yes…a succubus for a lover was great fun. He watched Naamah move beside him, enjoying each and every fantasy she slipped into his thoughts. He reveled in the bloody fantasies involving her, the young hunter's girl and Logan, his sweet, sweet, little sister. Finn moaned as a new wave of desire pulsed through him.

Naamah cast her eyes through the room. Even though it was just the two of them, she felt her power increase. She inhaled deep and felt their lust slither through her veins. It had been too long since she'd taken her true form. It was difficult to do this side of hell, unless she completely drained several humans completely, but she'd been feeding well recently and even the limited amount of lust she'd been getting from Finn was stronger than what mortal men provided her.

She eyed the eldest Winchester hungrily, her tongue snaking out to caress her dry lips. "Lle naa belegohtar." (_My mightly warrior.)_ She began to move toward the man, but paused when she saw the one called Logan raise her hand and felt the power in the room eddy sharply around the woman. Ignoring it and pushing out another wave of lust, she turned back to the frustrated man less than six feet away. She chuckled when she heard him whimper as her eyes swept over him, making him feel as if she'd caressed him. Seduction clear in her voice, her words soft as velvet as she spoke. "Meleolle naa beleg, ona e' a' lle irma amin vanima edan." _(Your passions are strong. Give in to your desire, my beautiful man.)_

Logan spun to watch as Dean moved toward the succubus, worry in her eyes. She hadn't taken Sam's words as seriously as she should have. She saw the tortured look on Dean's face, the panic in his eyes, even as he tried to resist. She gasped as he tore his t-shirt over his head and frantically worked on the buckle of his belt, his fingers clumsy with need, frustrating him further.

Dean was biting his lip. He didn't understand the words. He didn't want to listen to hear what the demon promised, but her voice was so seductive and fuck, she was willing. She wanted him and those eyes, her eyes. Just having them on him drove him crazy. He needed, wanted…he was going to burn up if he didn't get some relief. Frantic eyes found Logan's even as his hands slid leather through the belt buckle. He paused, "Shit…need…please…" Dean felt tears in his eyes, damn tears. He was so frustrated and he knew his thoughts weren't right. He knew he shouldn't be moving closer, but he was. Give in. Give in. The thoughts pounded through his head. He took another step.

Sam watched. Dean was moving closer and without thinking, he grabbed Dean's shoulder and pulled him back. He wasn't about to let that bitch have her him, use him and then toss him away.

Dean felt a warm hand on his shoulder and something akin to relief shot through his body. He spun and pulled that heat against him, grinding his groin against, what he realized was his younger brother. Inside Dean wanted to stop, begged himself to stop, needed to stop, but he couldn't. Sensation shot through him and he groaned as he gave himself over to it. Instinct driving him forward he gripped Sam's shoulders and pressed his face into the curve of his neck.

Shocked, Sam stood still. What the hell do you do when your brother grinds his rock hard cock against you and bites and licks at your neck? That wasn't anywhere in the Bro Code! Sam shivered in revolsion, his hands found Dean's shoulders and he pushed back, trying to dislodge his clinging brother. He shot a horrified glance at Logan and struggled to move his brother away. "God, Dean...pull youself together..." When Sam felt Dean's hands drift across his chest he brought back his fist, "Dean...fucking stop it!"

Dean shifted and grunted as the punch landed, and he tried to obey. He was mortified by what he was doing, but fuck it felt so good. Dean groaned and fought the urge to kiss up his brother's neck and along his jaw. "Knock me the fuck out...Sam...god...'fore I...dammit." Dean's rushed voice disappeared as he renewed his assault on Sam's neck.

Logan smirked over her shoulder. She turned to face the demon and while doing so, took two steps back to interrupt the guy on guy action taking place behind her. Sliding an arm between Sam and Dean, she managed to separate them enough so that Dean realized she was there.

"Thank God!" Dean exhaled as he immediatly wrapped himself around Logan from behind. His mouth finding the side of her neck as his hands traveled down to her hips and then up under her shirt to find her breasts. He groaned as he pressed himself into the curve of her ass, grinding rhythmically. "Thank…fucking…heaven!"

Logan worked to ignore the sensations Dean was arousing and glanced to catch Sam's eyes. She stared for several seconds and then blinked.

Sam nodded and moved beside Logan, keeping distance between himself and Dean. Personal space now meant something entirely different to him. He tried not to watch Dean writhe and thrust against Logan's ass and he tried not to let the small shiver of desire rush over him as he watched Dean's hands move beneath Logan's shirt.

Logan watched...she was waiting for the split second that Naamah would lower her defenses to feed. She felt Dean get closer, his movements becoming more frantic. She noticed Finn was watching and she knew that Naamah was feeding Finn her own lust-filled fantasies.

Finn was stroking himself faster, watching as Naamah's anticipation rose. Orgasm was her goal. Not her own, but that of her prey. She needed that moment when all that cosmic, emotional, spiritual energy finally bubbled up and poured out. She fed on that small miracle of creation that small bit of death; la petit mort. He felt how close she was and it fed his own hunger. He was lost in it. He eyed the hunter pressing against his sister, saw the hands cupping her breast and he knew they were both too far-gone.

Dean rolled and teased Logan's nipple, bit at her neck and snaked a hand down inside her jeans. His fingers grazed her wet slit and it was over. He threw his head back and orgasmed with a shuttering cry before collapsing to the ground limply.

Finn felt the power raise in the room, felt Naamah drop her defense and gave in, bellowing his own release into the room.

"Now!" Logan bellowed and raised her right hand. She felt Dean's halting thrusts and as he cried out. Together she and Sam spoke ancient, powerful words, "Naamah, beikaer, saurar auta amin thanga yassen templa." (_Perverse seducer, go, we curse you.)_

Sam felt the power build and on Logan's signal, he stretched out his left hand. He felt the heat surge through and then out from him, wave after wave of power crashing toward Naamah.

"Kela a' oira du. Gurth goth lye." (_Return to your eternal darkness. Death to you, our enemy.) _Logan's voice raised with Sam's as they spoke the final words, "Naamah, lye 'kshonna wanya a' du!" _(Together we banish you into darkness.)_

The room grew hot, the fire roared and hot, bright power pulsed toward the demon and Finn. Naamah screamed as the wave of heat hit her. It pushed into her, forcing the demon out through Paige's mouth. The ink like blackness eddied across the floor before dispersing in a flash of bright red fire, up and out the chimney. The demon gone and Paige fell to the floor with a loud thump.

Finn stumbled and caught himself against the table, suddenly weak. Wild eyes sought his sister's, he shivered when he saw the subtle power that shifted between Sam and Logan, a balancing exchange that neither was aware existed. Finn tucked the knowledge away and acknowledging his weakness, he smiled and closed his eyes. A quick, short spell and he was gone.

**_Okay, so that is the closest I'm ever gonna get to writing Wincest...still not sure where that came from, except that I think it's damn funny._**

**_Let me know what you think and really, the story will mostly return to normal in the next chapter. My muse is worried...so hit the little button and reassure her. Oh, and the funny language...more Elvish/Grelvish, it's my personal demon language (jeeze, I'm such a geek!)_**


	65. So Long, Farewell

Kate crossed the room to where Paige lay. She pulled the girl into her arms and tears of relief ran down her face, "She's alive…thank god." Kate spun and smiled, "Sam, help me move her I think she's alright."

Sam looked sharply to Logan, the question hanging in his eyes.

Logan shook her head in response, quietly she said, "Naamah left too much behind and Paige's willingness…" She shrugged, "She's dead on the inside, burned and hollow."

Sam swallowed and nodded, before moving toward Kate and Paige. He knelt beside them and helped Kate move Paige to the bed, where they laid her down so Kate could check her out. Sam then moved to check on Bobby. He felt the nasty bump by his temple, but the older hunter was breathing evenly. He was just out cold.

Logan turned and squatted down beside Dean, who was all but a boneless mass on the floor. She smiled down at him. His eyes glazed and a silly grin on his face. It was hard not to laugh and she bit her cheek. "You gonna make it stud?"

Dean tried to sit up, but his body wouldn't cooperate. He moaned, "What the hell is wrong…shit I feel like I ran an effing marathon and got hit by a truck after a night of binge drinkin."

Logan chuckled and pulled Dean into a sitting position, "Well, you were just that nasty succubus bitch's last meal, baby."

Dean groaned, "Yeah? Well I hope she ends up with the worst case of indigestion she's ever fucking had."

"I'm sure she does…now get on your feet." Logan pulled Dean up as she stood, letting him lean heavily against her. She put her arm around him, "Seriously, are you going to be okay?"

Dean smirked down at her, "You kidding me?" Dean bent and kissed Logan's cheek, "Haven't you learned anything about me yet?" Dean pulled back so he could look Logan in the eye, "Nap first…repeat performance second." Dean winked and tried to take a step back, only to almost fall.

"Whoa, there…" Logan grabbed for Dean's arm, catching him before he ended back on the floor. "You know hearing that from a man who can barely stay on his feet is so not a turn on." Logan tucked herself under Dean's arm. "It wasn't just the sex you know." Logan looked up into Dean's face and she saw the exhaustion on his face, "You do know she would have killed you. Drained you down to nothing and you would have begged her for more with your last dying breath."

Dean shivered involuntarily, "That had to be the most…" He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head, "…hell, I don't even know what to call it." Dean turned to look at his brother and blushed. He looked to the floor, "Shit, Sammy…I didn't want to…couldn't help…fuck, that was just disgusting."

Logan chuckled, "Sam's fine and I'm sure he knows you weren't doing it on purpose." Logan moved Dean to the chair by the table and let him slide into it. She reached for the bottle of vodka, and took a long, slow swallow before offering it to Dean.

Dean smiled up at her and took a drink. Putting the bottle back on the table he motioned to the foursome by the bed, "Paige gonna be okay?"

Logan leaned against the edge of the old table and crossed her arms. When Dean looked up at her, she caught his eyes and shook her head, "No. Her soul's in pieces and honestly there's barely a shred of who Paige is left in there. With Naamah gone, she's not going to be able to hold on. She's really just a shell now."

"Shit." Dean let his gaze shift back to the bed, "Kate's not going to do well with that."

Logan nodded, "It's going to be difficult for her…and for Sam too."

Dean took another long drink from the bottle of cheap liquor and then stood. He waited to make sure his legs were going to work. His legs still felt a bit heavy and rubbery like he'd run five miles, but they were working. With the bottle of vodka in hand, he moved toward the bed.

Dean knelt beside Sam. Bobby was leaning against the bed, eyes opened blearily. "Hey Bobby, you okay?" .

"Hell yeah, you idjit," Bobby answered gruffly. "Damn, boy she only knocked me on the head." Bobby reached for the bottle in Dean's hand. "Stop bogarting the booze. I got a killer headache brewin' over here."

Dean chuckled, and handed the bottle to the older man, "You drink too much of that and your headache will last through to tomorrow."

Bobby glared over the top of the bottle, "And I was drinking this crap long before your daddy laid eyes on you mama, so don't be giving me advice on how to drink." He took another long draught from the bottle before setting it to the floor beside him. "How's the girl?" Bobby rolled his head toward the opposite end of the bed where Kate and Logan were looking over Paige.

Sam sighed and shook his head, "It doesn't look good." He shot a glance at the girls, "Logan seems to think there's too much damage to her soul."

Bobby frowned, "You know your father always made me promise if that ever happened to him…" Bobby motioned to Kate, "…if he ever ended up that way that I would finish him off, nice and clean."

Dean stared at Bobby, "You can't be serious. Dad?"

Bobby nodded and took another drink. "I suppose you've never seen it have you? You've never watched someone come through that and see what it does to 'em." Bobby ran a hand over his beard. "A hunter friend of ours went missing for a few months. No one knew where he went, but that's not too unusual for us hunters so no one really thought much of it. Figured he was after something or something got him." Bobby shrugged and bent one knee up. He rested an arm across his knee and looked from Sam to Dean. "John and me, we caught up to a bunch of demons. Mark was one of em. We exorcised them, but Mark wasn't right. We took him home. He had a wife and two kids." Bobby paused, and shook his head, "Three days later he killed his family, then himself. He left a note blaming me and John for not killing him."

"Shit." Dean glanced toward Paige, "Isn't there anything we can do?"

Bobby shook his head. "Not if she invited that bitch in. She was willing and she knew what was going on." Bobby reached for the bottle and drank again, "If Logan says she's gone then I believe her."

Kate straitened from her position over Paige, "We need to get her to a hospital." She wiped her eyes, dragging dirt and blood in smears across her face. "I don't know why she's unconscious. I can't find any head trauma."

Sam stood and moved to Kate, he pulled her against his chest, "She's worn out. Naamah used her. Just like when Ipos was through with you. It's going to take some time, but Kate…" Sam leaned back and looked down at Kate, "She might not ever be the same, and she might not come back."

Kate shook her head. "That's not going to happen. She's Paige, she's strong, she's my friend and I can't let that happen…" Tears ran down Kate's face, "…It's my fault, that demon wouldn't have hurt her if it weren't for me." Kate pulled away from Sam, "If it weren't for you." Kate moved back several more steps and looked at the hunters. Her voice cracked with emotion as she looked from one to the next and raised her hand to point at them. "All of you. You show up and shit happens. People get hurt."

Sam took a step toward Kate, "Kate, please just list…"

"NO!" Kate screamed, "No Sam, you listen. Paige might not be the greatest friend, but she was a good person and she doesn't deserve to be lying there…hurt and scared. I know what it feels like to have one of those…those things inside you. She's fighting in there, fighting for her life." Kate broke down sobbing as she wiped at her face.

Logan brushed past Sam and grabbed Kate's hand. When Kate struggled, she didn't let go, "Kate, stop it. Look at me."

Kate knew she was acting like a brat, new it and hated it, but she was angry. Slowly she raised her eyes to meet Logan's gaze. She gasped.

Logan opened her eyes and concentrated. She felt it this time, felt when she connected. She felt the emotional exchange. The way she suddenly plugged into what Kate was feeling. She let Kate's anger, fear and pain filter through her own thoughts and sent back her own emotion. Logan let Kate see her own anger, fear and pain, but she included hope, love, and reassurance.

Kate gasped again when she felt the extent of Logan's own fear, anger and pain and the amount of hope the woman still held shocked her. Kate grasped Logan's shoulder as Logan's view of Paige drifted through her mind's eye. Kate let her eyes drift shut and the connection was gone. "My god…she wanted that bitch inside her…she liked it…she knew."

Logan nodded, allowing Kate to process the new information. "Even if you never met us…Paige would have been lost. Finn was using her."

Kate moved to Sam and wrapped her arms around him. "I'm sorry Sam, I really am it…"

A loud scream prevented further conversation as everyone turned to the bed. Paige now sat on her knees, her wild eyes swung through the room before her hands gripped her head, "No, no, no, no…come back, please…where are you. I need you." Paige dropped her hands and glared at Logan. She moved forward on her knees, "You bitch, you fucking bitch! You made her leave me. You made Finn leave me. No, no, no!"

Logan moved Kate behind her and shook her head, "Shh, Paige, calm down. Listen, she was hurting you, they were hurting you. Naamah…"

Paige jerked forward, "SHUT THE FUCK UP! You don't know anything. Finn loves me, but you made her leave." Paige stopped and sobbed, falling into herself as she collapsed into a heap on the bed.

Kate was suddenly around Logan and she sat on the bed and pulled Paige's head onto her lap as she stroked her hair and murmured reassuring words softly into the room.

Paige curled around Kate and continued to cry, loud sobbing as the other woman whispered sweet, kind things to her. She smiled cruelly against Kate's thigh and gripped Kate around the waist, slightly surprised when she felt the shape of the handgun through the material of Kate's ski jacket. With easy grace, she slid her hand into the pocket and removed the weapon. She sat up, gun in hand and raised it to the side of Kate's head.

Sam growled and moved, only stopping when Bobby and Dean grappled with his arms.

"Don't be an idiot, boy." Bobby ground out as he struggled to control the larger man.

"Sammy!" Dean shouted even as he twisted his brother's arm behind his back to prevent him from charging at the women on the bed. "There's a gun to her head, man…she has the advantage."

Sam knew it, but he saw only red ahs is anger clouded his ability to think clearly, "Shit, Dean if she hurts Kate…"

Dean slowly released Sam's arm, "I know man, but we have to time it right or she WILL get hurt."

Bobby released his other arm as he watched the blond woman on the bed slide the safety off. He swallowed.

"Kate, don't move." Logan's voice was calm as she caught Kate's eyes and smiled, "You're going to be alright."

Kate nodded, slowly, "Paige…please, you don't want to hurt me."

Paige laughed and Sam thought it was the coldest sound he'd ever heard, empty, and hollow, "Paige, let us help you."

Paige looked at Sam, the gun pressing against Kate's temple, "Help me? You think you can help me?" She laughed and tears ran down her face, "You took away the man I loved…everything I loved is gone." Paige's eyes dropped to Kate, who was shivering. "She means something to you, doesn't she? You care about her, don't you?" Paige rolled her eyes, "I know she cares about you…Kate always did fall in love fast. Never took the chance to have fun. Always the same with you isn't it Katie…you can't fuck 'em unless you at least care a little something for them isn't that right?"

When Kate didn't answer, Paige slapped her with her bandaged hand, "I asked you a fucking question bitch."

Kate nodded as her eyes found Sam's, "I care about him."

"Good girl." Paige glared around Kate at Sam, "You took what I loved away from me, so maybe I should take Katie away from you, huh? How'd you like that? How'd you feel if I took your pretty little girlfriend away from you? Maybe you'd know how I feel…a little bit anyway."

Paige pulled back the slide, and chambered the first round with a click-click sound that made Kate whimper and renewed the tears in her eyes. Paige pressed her lips to Kate's ear, "It's time to say goodbye, Katie." Paige pressed the gun against Kate's temple, "You know I love you right? Always have, but…" Paige shrugged, "It's over."

In a sudden move, Paige swung the gun around, placed it beneath her own chin and pulled the trigger.

**_Okay...so if you want, please tell me what you think. You know how fickle my muse can be ;)_**

**_By the way...WOW on the feedback for last chapter. That's the most feedback for ANY chapter, so far. I suppose I pushed a few buttons with the "almost Wincest"...seriously, just to reassure everyone. You will NEVER see me write that stuff! Sure, you might see some slash (not in this story though) and I'll play with Sam and Dean's relationship for fun, but come on people they're freaking brothers...GROSS!! _**

**_So, do you all feel better now?_**


	66. Enough is Enough, or Is It?

They called 911, reported it as a suicide. They took turns giving their statement to the police, answering questions, providing information. Sam watched Kate talk with the medics; explain to them she was fine. He heard her quiet, "It's hers…she's dead…" and shuddered at the lack of emotion in her words.

She willingly showed the police her cell phone log. The last call she got, about an hour before had come from Paige. Kate explained for what seemed like the one-hundredth time that Paige said she was too depressed, wanted to end it, but that she was too afraid to do it.

It was the lie they'd agreed on. It made sense. People had seen Paige acting out; there were murmurs among the workers at the scene. They believed it, she'd been drinking and partying, but she'd also been sad. She'd shared the story of the ex-boyfriend with everyone.

The police made sure they all knew to be available for a few days, but it was apparently a cut and dry case of suicide. Four witnesses agreed…the wound was self-inflicted; there were powder burns on the woman's hand, empty bottles of booze in the room and a story to explain the depression.

Kate asked if she could be the one to call Paige's mother. "She should hear it from someone she knows."

The sheriff, an older man with kind eyes glanced at the coroner, who nodded, there didn't appear to be any foul play.

Kate sobbed, the first sound of grief she'd uttered since Paige had fired the gun, but she caught it before it became a full fledge cry. She bit her lip and closed her eyes. She swayed a bit and when she felt Sam suddenly beside her she pressed herself into him, and fisted her hands in the canvas of his coat.

Sam pulled her to his side, kissed her head and herded her out the door and back toward the Land Rover. Logan and Dean slid silently into the backseat while Kate allowed Sam to help her into the passenger side. They drove in silence back to the cabin.

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Sam maneuvered Kate through the cabin and into the bedroom, leaving Dean and Logan standing in the kitchen. He returned to the kitchen after only a few minutes. He gave Dean and Logan a pained look. "Is she going to be alright?"

Logan pulled away from Dean and tugged Sam into a tight hug. She pulled his head down to hers and pressed her forehead against his as she looked into his eyes, "Listen to me Sam. She's hurting, confused and angry, but she's strong. She fought before and she's going to fight through this. Just be there for her, okay? Don't push her; just let her tell you what she needs." Logan kissed Sam's cheek and pulled back. "Don't be afraid to cry with her." She gave him a final squeeze and then took a full step back.

Sam sighed. "She wants whiskey and chocolate." He smirked.

Sam's half-smile made Logan giggle and she turned toward the end of the counter where the box of first aid supplies still sat. She pulled out the bottle of liquor and slid it down the counter to Sam even as she reached across to the other side for the bag of plain M&Ms. "Well then give the woman booze and chocolate." She slapped the candy into Sam's open palm and then reached for a couple of glasses. "Just drink a few with her, okay?" Logan placed the glasses on the counter in front of Sam. "There is nothing worse than getting drunk alone."

Sam nodded and gave Logan a smile, "Thank you." He picked up the glasses and whiskey and started back toward the bedroom. He looked over his shoulder, "Logan?"

"Yeah?" Logan turned toward Sam.

"You sure she's gonna be okay? I mean it's been…well it's been hell recently for her." Sam's eyes were wide; his worry and concern plain on his face.

Logan stared at Sam for a minute and felt as her eyes changed. She cocked her head to the side and concentrated. After a minute she closed her eyes and blinked, "Yes, Sam, but it's you she needs right now."

Sam nodded and then disappeared into the bedroom.

Dean's voice was close to Logan's ear and she jumped.

"How do you know?" He asked quietly, sliding his arms beneath Logan's and pulling her back against his chest as he bent his head to her cheek.

Logan smiled and rubbed her cheek against the sharp stubble along Dean's jaw, enjoying the rough scratch. She reached a hand up to slide into his hair, "Don't really know how, but Sam's connected to Kate. I can feel her in his aura. What she needs, he has and as long as he's willing to share it she'll be fine."

Dean kissed Logan's cheek and then straightened. He kept his arms around her, but rested his chin on her head, "You're short, you know that?"

Logan snorted, "Yeah, well so are you compared to Sam…so stow it." Logan could feel Dean's chuckle vibrate through her. "So it's funny that I'm short?"

Dean pulled back and turned Logan so she faced him. "No. It's not funny that you're short. Besides, I like it." Dean pressed against Logan. "It makes me feel all big and manly."

Logan rolled her eyes, "You do know that five foot five isn't really short, right?" She straightened to her full height, "I'm average."

Dean shook his head, "And you're five-five in your dreams sweetheart."

Logan smiled and stood up on her toes. She ran her tongue along Dean's jaw and nipped at his chin, "You know I've never heard you complain about it."

Dean dipped his head and kissed her lightly, "And I'm not complaining now. I like it." He pulled back, but kept her in the circle of his arms, "You're just the right size."

"Ah, that's sweet." Logan smiled.

Dean nodded, "Yep, just the right size to climb into all those cold, dark holes we always need to get into." Dean's chuckle became a grunt when Logan landed an elbow sharply in his ribs.

"Seriously Dean, you can be such a pig." Logan snorted and turned to pull open the fridge.

Dean's phone rang as he was about to speak, "Hold that thought…" He flipped open his phone, "Yeah?"

Logan pulled a water out and pushed the door shut as Dean wandered into the living area to talk. She figured it was Bobby based on the few words she heard exit Dean's mouth. Her hunch was confirmed when Dean shoved the phone into his pocket and headed back to the kitchen.

"Bobby's at the bar, wants to know if we'd like to join him." Dean leaned expectantly against the counter, waiting for Logan's answer.

Logan took a long sip from her water and couldn't help smiling at the hopefulness on his face. "Yeah, I suppose a couple of drinks would do me some good." She recapped the water and slid it back into the fridge. "Let me change and maybe you should tell Sam where we'll be."

Dean nodded and headed to the bedroom as Logan climbed the ladder to the loft and changed.

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Sam shut the door and ran a hand through his hair. Dean and Logan were meeting Bobby at the bar and honestly, he was glad he was alone with Kate. Dean had promised to check the salt lines before he left. Not that he needed to tell Sam that, it was second nature for Dean to do that when he left him alone.

Sam crossed to the bathroom, Kate was in the shower and he eased the door open without knocking when he heard the desperate sobbing. It was so mournful he shivered in response as he pushed the door closed.

"Kate?" Sam's voice, full of quiet concern echoed in the steamy room. He pulled back the shower curtain to find Kate curled in the corner of the small shower, her forehead pressed against her knees as she cried. "God Kate, are you alright?" Sam turned off the shower and grabbed a towel as he pulled Kate to her feet.

Kate shook Sam off and wiped her face with her wet hands, wild eyes glaring from beneath her dripping wet hair. She took the towel, rubbed it fiercely across her eyes and shivered as she wrapped it around herself. She wasn't angry. She was hurting and when she saw the concern on Sam's face, the tears began again.

Kate didn't fight him as he pulled her into her arms and brisked her arms and chest dry with a second towel. Sam pressed his lips to Kate's hair, "I'm so sorry Kate, so damn sorry." He wrapped the towel around her shoulders and pulled back to look her in the eye. "If I could take it away, make the hurting stop I would. I hate seeing you this way."

Kate nodded and then pressed her face against Sam's chest; she inhaled the scent of him; soap and aftershave, the slight tang of sweat, the scent of his laundry detergent…all of it who Sam was. She clung to him as if he were the only stable thing in the ocean of pain that was pulling her under. She hiccupped, "I called Janet…" Kate wiped her eyes on Sam's t-shirt and snuggled closer when he tightened his grip, "…Pa…Paige's mom…"

Sam rubbed circles down Kate's back and then brushed Kate's wet hair off her face so he could look down at her. "Shh, you don't have to tell me, baby…shh." Sam moved them out of the bathroom and sat Kate on the bed before he ducked back into the bathroom and then grabbed a few things from their bags.

Kate sat on the edge of the bed and watched Sam moved through the room. She nodded at him, "I need to talk…"

Sam gave her a sad, pained look and nodded as he knelt in front of her and after ensuring her legs were dry he held up a pair of yoga pants.

Kate nodded and let Sam slip them over her feet and pull her to stand as she slid them up. She smiled when he tugged one of his t-shirts over her head, but she snuggled into it, again inhaling the scent of Sam, which now surrounded her, making her feel safe.

Sam smiled at her swimming in his shirt and then turned down the covers; he blushed and brushed a handful of condoms to the floor while making a note to kick his brother's ass. Sam propped the pillows against the headboard and then settled into the bed, pulling Kate down with him.

Kate sighed almost contentedly as she settled down between Sam's legs, resting her head against his chest. She felt him twist behind her and then a glass of amber liquid appeared in front of her. She sat forward as she took the glass and then slammed its entire contents down her throat. Turning she made a face at the burn and then coughed, "Another…"

Sam grabbed the bottle and refilled her glass before downing his, almost as quickly, even as he raised an eyebrow at how fast Kate downed the second one. He took her empty glass when she pressed it into his hand and then set it on the table beside them.

Kate saw the M&Ms and snagged the bag as she curled back against Sam's chest. She slid a bit to her side and looked up at him, popping five or six of the small candies into her mouth. "Thank you."

Sam looked down at her, eyebrows raised, "You're welcome for whatever it is I did." Sam slid his arm around Kate and pulled her against him while he bent to kiss her forehead. "I meant it Kate…if I could change it…take it away, make it better in anyway. I'd do it in a second."

Kate felt the press of tears, that damn burning in the back of her eyes and the stretch of sorrow in her throat. "I know…that's what I mean."

"Sit up a little." Sam's quiet voice and his gentle hand on her shoulder pushed Kate forward. He gathered her damp hair, pulled it over her shoulders and smoothed it down her back.

Kate groaned when she felt the first hesitant stroke of the brush through her hair. "God, Sam…"

"Let me know if I hurt you, okay." Sam worked the knots out carefully from the bottom of Kate's hair and then worked his way up to her scalp.

"Mm-hm…" Kate let her head drop forward. "I told you I called Janet…told her she needed to head up here." Kate swallowed and wiped at her now dripping nose. "I told her Paige was…that she…fuck, and you know what she said to me?"

Sam paused, the brush halfway through Kate's hair. "What?"

"She said thank you." Kate laughed a bit hysterically before she caught herself, "Shit, Sam…she thanked me. I told her daughter was dead, and she says, thanks."

Sam didn't know what to say so he moved the brush, continued to brush her hair, working on the tangles until he had Kate's hair lying smoothly down her back. Then he set the brush aside and pulled Kate back against his chest again, one knee bent he wrapped his arms around her and curled himself around her. "I'm sorry." Sam pressed a kiss to Kate's temple.

Kate nodded. "I know…I'm so confused, Sam. Everything is so fucked up." Kate curled to her side pressing against Sam's chest and let the silent tears soak an ever-widening circle into his shirt. She sniffed after a few minutes of silence and Sam's hand absently tracing figures on the skin of her arm. "You did that before."

"Did what?" Sam's hand paused on her arm and he tilted his head to catch Kate's eyes when she looked up at him from her place against his shoulder.

"Your hand, it's a pattern. You keep drawing the same things over again, same path, and same rhythm. You did it before in the tower, but it was different then." Kate snuggled back down and lifted her arm, nudging Sam's hand, "Don't stop I like it...it's, I don't know, it feels good."

Sam chuckled and kissed the top of Kate's head as his fingers continued to move up and down Kate's right arm. He started paying attention to the patterns his hand was drawing. His index finger traced what could have been an "F" but the cross pieces pointed downward. "Ansuz, corresponds to Odin. It symbolizes blessing, harmony and wisdom."

Sam traced Ansuz twice then found his finger moving on to the next, this one slightly above her elbow to the inside. It was almost an "S", but the curves were straight and slanted down at the top and up at the bottom. "This is Eihwaz or the Yew tree. It's used for strength and protection. It's a rune of defense."

Kate sighed and let Sam's fingers dance over her skin. A calming lassitude overtake her as she continued to listen to Sam explain the symbols he was tracing up and down her arm. The rumble of his voice in her ear was soothing, the rise and fall of his chest beneath her cheek relaxing. "In the tower you were tracing stuff on my skin too. Why?"

Sam shrugged, hell he wasn't even aware he'd been consciously doing it, but he did remember now that she'd brought it up, "It's something I do when I'm worried. I trace them on my pillow at night when I can't sleep. I've traced them on Dean when he's been hurt. Don't know really, it's just something I do." His fingers continued to make patterns across Kate's arm and even up to her cheek.

Kate smiled when his finger's brushed her cheek, tickling slightly. "An "X"? Marking a spot?"

Sam smiled and rubbed his nose into Kate's drying hair, "Gebo, it symbolizes gifts, generosity and exchanges in relationships." Sam followed with a "P" like shape on Kate's forehead, "Wunjo, means joy, comfort and pleasure." Sam's breath hitched and he placed a straight line beside Wunjo, "This is Isa known as ice. It reinforces whatever is next to it, adds strength like ice does to water."

Kate wiggled in Sam's arms as desire started to pool in her belly, her mind focused on joy and pleasure. Her eyes drifted shut as Sam's fingers traced another rune beside Isa.

Sam's voice was husky against Kate's hair, "Ingwaz, the earth god, this one represents human contact, home, family." Sam smiled when he heard Kate's sigh.

He shifted as she squirmed against him and then traced his fingertips gently down Kate's face, barely touching, tickling before pausing over her now closed eyes. He traced an odd shaped "B" over each eyelid. "Berkano, the birch-goddess is used to symbolize liberation, renewal and desire." Sam moved and gently placed a kiss on each of Kate's eyelids.

Kate moved so that she was facing him. Her lips finding his as she exhaled his name, almost like it was a prayer. She kissed him slowly, a gentle connection of lips. She waited until the need to deepen the kiss rose up, impossible to ignore before she opened her mouth with a groan and slid her tongue against the seam of Sam's lips.

Sam let Kate deepen the kiss at her own pace. When her tongue finally found his, he played along with slow, lazy strokes of his tongue against hers. Sam's hand came to tangle in Kate's hair as he moved to better angle his mouth to hers. Sam's other hand running down her side and up under the t-shirt.

Kate moaned into Sam's mouth as his hand found the skin along her side. Pulling her lips from his, she sat up and pulled the shirt over her head, dropping it beside her. She moved to straddle his lap and then bent back down to capture his lips once again.

Sam pulled Kate down and against him, his hands dragging down her back, nails scoring lightly as they descended to the waist of the pants she was wearing. He gently gripped her hips and thrust his erection against her, moaning when she rolled her hips against him.

Kate sat up, her hands pressing against Sam's chest. Her eyes, red and swollen from her tears catching his gaze as she brushed her hair back over her shoulder. She sat, panting quietly, "Make me forget, Sam…" She paused with a sob and then bit her lower lip, "Please…"

Sam watched fat tears track down her face. Some landing on her breasts, others his belly. Her face a picture of hope and sorrow. One tear ran down the slope of her breast and Sam was mesmerized by its sluggish path. It paused at the tip of Kate's erect nipple and Sam cupped the breast and caught the tear with a gentle brush of his thumb.

Kate sucked in a sudden breath, her eyes on Sam's. She watched his eyes darken with need and she leaned into his hand, her head falling back on her shoulders with a low moan.

Sam sat up and pulled Kate's breast to his mouth, his tongue tracing the path the tear had taken before circling the darker nipple and pulling it into his mouth. He felt Kate's hands sink into his hair, pulling him closer even as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her even tighter against him. He rocked his hips and Kate rewarded him with another moan.

Fire shot down Kate's spine, settling between her legs. She shivered as Sam's tongue teased and coaxed first one nipple then the other. Kate's fingers dug into Sam's shoulders as he leaned over her, lowering her to the bed as he shifted above her. She looked up into his dark, hazel eyes and let her eyes drift shut at the emotions she saw there.

Sam kissed up Kate's chest, to her neck, leaving small, sharp bites along the way, he thoroughly enjoyed the little gasps accompanying each one. He frowned against her ear, "Don't go away on me Kate…don't shut me out." Sam's left hand drifted to Kate's hip and slid under into the waist of low-slung pants to find her wet and slick.

Kate whimpered back a sob as tears threatened again.

Sam slid a finger inside and felt Kate's muscles clench around it. He bit back a moan, "Open your eyes for me, baby. Shh, I'm with you, but you have stay with me…" Sam thrust his finger in again, curling it to find that spot inside her that brought her off the bed.

Kate's eyes flew open as Sam teased her with his finger. She swiped at the hair in her face and found his eyes, gasping as he added a second finger and smiled at her. God, that smile had heat flooding through her and she lifted her head to find his lips.

Sam bent his head and kissed Kate, he ravaged her mouth as he began to move his fingers in steady pace in and out. He brought his thumb to her clit and pressed in rhythm to his fingers.

Kate pulled her lips from Sam and panted for breath. She was on the edge, his fingers playing her, pushing her, sending her flying.

Sam watched Kate struggle to give in as he fucked her with his fingers, "Let go, Kate…it's alright…god, you're so beautiful right now." Sam pressed his lips into her neck where he kissed and bit gently before sliding his lips to her ear where he whispered, "Shh, baby…just let it go."

Kate's vision swam as the orgasm swallowed her. She threw her head back and arched sharply into Sam's hand, pressing herself as close as she could. A wordless sound tore from her throat, followed by a sob as emotion overwhelmed her.

Sam watched the tension build, the panic, pain and loss gather in her eyes and then watched as it shattered around her. He continued to stroke her gently, letting her come down slowly and when she relaxed into the bed, he withdrew his fingers and gathered her into his arms. He kissed her softly, her face, her hair, even as he whispered calming words against her cheek and hair.

Kate clung to Sam and sobbed until she couldn't cry anymore. She lay half across his chest, her leg bent over his thigh and his t-shirt once again wet with her tears. She smiled when she felt Sam begin to trace runes across her back and she lifted her head to look up at his face.

Sam rested back on the bed with his eyes closed simply enjoying the weight of Kate across his chest. He felt her lift her head and he opened his eyes to see her smiling. He smiled back and then brushed hair from her face, "You feeling any better?"

Kate pressed her cheek against Sam's hand and nodded. "Actually, yes," She scooted up his chest and kissed his chin, biting softly, "Thank you."

Sam's hand threaded into her hair and gently massaged her scalp, "I'm not done with you." He winked. "I plan to literally fuck you to sleep."

Kate chuckled and shook her head, before a sudden stab of guilt hit her and her smile dropped immediately.

Sam noticed the sudden change and his eyebrows shot up, "What is it? Was that too crude? I'm sorry."

Kate shook her head, "I…I don't know…I just feel guilty."

Sam tightened his grip on the back of Kate's head and gave a gentle tug, "Hey…don't feel guilty for surviving. You fought hard to be here with me, to feel, to smile. Don't think for one second you don't deserve a few moments of peace and joy."

Kate nodded and gave him a small smile. She motioned to the bed, "I know, but I just feel like I'm forgetting when I feel that happy…like it's disrespectful."

Sam sat up, fully facing Kate, "Listen to me. It's never wrong to live and it's disrespectful to sit back and let life slip by." Sam cradled Kate's face in his hands, "What would your grandmother say to you?" Sam's voice was soft, but demanding.

Kate swallowed the lump in her throat and let her eyes drift shut as she allowed her grandmother's words to sift through her thoughts. "Balance…try to find balance between anger and peace, between lust and satisfaction. Don't mourn for those who have died, but rejoice that they lived. To give as we take. To love as we are loved and to bless as we are blessed." Kate opened her eyes and caught the respect in them. She smiled shyly.

"Your grandmother sounds like a very wise woman." Sam brought Kate's hand to his lips and brushed a kiss across her knuckles. "You should listen to her."

Kate nodded slowly, "You're right I should." She leaned into Sam, pressing him back into the bed as she tugged his t-shirt up his chest. "Right now I think I should concentrate on balancing a bit of lust with satisfaction…" Kate kissed up Sam's chest, making him groan in the back of his throat, "…and the whole bless as I've been blessed? Well you know, I think I can handle that right now." Kate purred in the back of her throat and flicked her tongue across his nipple.

Sam tightened his fist in Kate's hair. "Kate, you don't have to…it's you who needs comforting…shit, baby…I'm fine."

Kate chuckled and groped at the hardness pressing up against her belly, "Oh, really? This…" Kate unbuttoned Sam's fly. Her hand drifted into his boxer briefs, "…this is fine?" She stroked the length of his cock, tugging his pants low on his hips to expose his him completely.

Sam's unsteady hand gripped Kate's wrist. He waited until her eyes met his, "Kate…I'm serious, I want you more than anything, but you don't have to."

Kate stopped, "I know, Sam, but I love the way loving you makes me feel…I feel so alive." Kate kept her eyes locked with his as she bent and took him into her mouth, her tongue teasing around the tip.

Sam released her hand and his head dropped back on the pillow. "Holy…fucking…" Sam hissed, trailing off as Kate took his entire length into her mouth. His hands fisted in the sheets below him and he struggled to hold still as she moved slowly up and down his length.

Kate sat back and admired the sheen of sweat covering Sam's chest. "You're still wearing too many clothes."

Sam nodded and clumsily pulled his shirt completely over his head and shoved his jeans down his hips.

Kate watched and leaned to the floor to snag a condom. She opened the package and slid it down Sam's cock before shucking her pants and then laying beside Sam. She pulled his mouth to hers and kissed him. When she broke the kiss, she gave him a sly smile, "So…weren't you going to put me to sleep?"

Sam laughed and moved over Kate, "I did tell you that didn't I." Sam reached between them and guided himself against her. He bent and pressed a quick kiss to her lips and slid agonizingly slowly inside until he lay fully pressed against her. His breath hitched when he felt her ankle press against his lower back as she pressed up toward him and clenched herself around him. "God, Kate…you keep doing that and it'll be over long before you're asleep."

Kate gasped as Sam withdrew and the slid home with a slow, lazy motion. Her hands gripped his biceps as he twirled his hips on the downward thrust, grinding his pubic bone against her clit and sliding against that spot that melted her into the bed. Kate groaned, "Saaamm, fuck…"

Sam moved slowly at first, supporting himself on one arm as he teased her nipples and clit with his other hand. He waited to increase the speed until Kate was begging him as she thrust up, needing more. Sam shifted and rolled so that Kate was on top. "I love watching you ride me…god, Kate your hair falling around us, that glow you get…" Sam groaned and thrust up as Kate moved above him.

Kate was getting desperate. Sam had been drawing it out, pushing her to the edge then changing the angle, or pressure making her squirm and buck in frustration, but then he put her in charge as if he realized how close she was. Kate pressed her palms into Sam's chest for support and lifted herself up, only to drop herself roughly back down. Her head dropped back in abandon, as sensation became her only goal.

Sam watched in fascination as Kate moved, riding him. Sam held one hand on Kate's hip, guiding her as she moved while he dipped his other hand to where their bodies met. He pressed against her clit, rubbing and pulling the tight nub pushing Kate closer.

Every nerve in Kate's body quivered, she felt the first pulse. The sudden pulling tightness in her belly and then the explosion as bliss radiated from that small bundle of flesh between her legs. Her muscles tightened, pulsing hard around Sam and she felt the sudden shudder run through her, pausing in her thrusting.

Sam felt her come apart and he rolled again so that he was above her and then thrust into her almost violently as he buried his face in her neck, kissing and licking at her. He felt her twine her legs around his waist and pull him closer. He heard her whispered words of encouragement in his ear and he held on. He heard Kate's soft gasp, heard her moan as the pleasure rose again and he bit at his lip to keep from following her.

Kate gasped as she felt the pressure build again. Sam was moving over her with intent. She saw it in his eyes, he was pushing her toward the edge again. She'd never experienced that before. Never, right after she'd just cum. Her head arched back into the bed and she dug her fingernails into Sam's shoulders. "My god…Sam…I'm…shit…" Kate squeezed her eyes shut and let sensation roll over her.

Sam smiled, he felt her quiver around him and he shifted so he was hitting her clit with every stroke. He pressed his lips to her ear, "Come on baby…cum again for me…I wanna feel you shatter for me one more time…" Sam panted against her hair. He was impossibly close, barely holding on and when he felt her tense he thrust harder, felt his balls pull tight as he passed the point of no return. He threw his head back and screamed her name as he exploded inside her and he laughed as he felt her quivering rhythmically around him.

Kate was overwhelmed as she came with Sam. She heard him laugh, felt it shake them as he collapse above her and rolled them quickly to the side to avoid crushing her with his weight. She smiled and pressed her nose against his chest, surprised to find tears on her cheek. She wiped at them, her muscles shaky as she looked up at Sam.

Sam smiled and hugged Kate to him. "You're not asleep yet." Sam kissed Kate's forehead and rolled to his side, spooning behind her as he tucked her into the curve of his body. Sam yawned, though it wasn't late, he was tired. "Maybe I need to finish the job?" Sam arched an eyebrow.

Kate nestled back against Sam, twining her fingers with his, "I can barely move…give me a few minutes and I'm sure I'll be out." She pulled Sam's hand to her lips and kissed it.

A short grunt and another yawn, "Good…cause I don't think I'll be moving for a bit."

Kate chuckled, "Me either."

Neither spoke for several minutes and then, "Sam?" Kate's voice was hesitant.

"Mm-hm…" Sam's voice was soft and slightly sleepy and he pressed his nose into Kate's hair and inhaled, "Mmm, you smell so good. What is it?"

"Promise me something?" Kate moved so she could see Sam's eyes.

Sam's heart dropped, "I'll try to."

Kate nodded, "Promise me you'll always be there if I need you?"

Sam brushed hair from Kate's face and watched her eyes as he fought to answer honestly, yet reassuringly. "I'll promise you that if I'm not here and you ever need me I'll come when you call."

Kate nodded and then turned to snuggle back against his chest, "That's enough."

She was asleep in minutes. Sam lay awake for sometime, emotions warring inside. How was this going to play out? He had no clue, though he wished he did… The last time he felt this way about a woman he'd been forced to…damn it he wasn't going there.

Sam looked at the woman in his arms and pulled her even closer as he kissed the back of her head. He whispered against her hair, "I hope it's enough, Kate…I really do."

**_As always you know what to do...if you'd be so kind as to leave some feedback, my muse would be pleased as punch :)_**


	67. So, How About That Drink?

_Meanwhile…_

Bobby sat toward the back of the bar at one of the small tables lining the windowless wall. Instinctively he took the seat along against the wall and he currently had a clear sight line to both exits. He'd already downed a double shot of whiskey and was working on his second beer in an attempt to dull the throbbing in his head.

"Bitch." Bobby mumbled under his breath as he fingered the large lump on the back of his head. He took another drink and glanced to the front door as it opened.

Bobby watched Dean move into the room and smiled as the younger hunter surveyed the bar, pausing to assess anyone who may be a threat, locating the windows, the exits and the areas that could be used either defensively or offensively. Logan was right behind him, taking a stance of to his left, but still clear of his good arm. Dean's left hand went slid paused briefly at his lower back, near the gun Bobby knew Dean had tucked there before sliding into his pocket.

Bobby didn't motion, he simply sat still, back to the wall, shrouded in a bit of shadow that hid his face. He nodded proudly when Dean headed directly for him. Bobby knew there was no way Dean could actually see him, but John had taught both the boys well.

Dean smirked and cut a path to the long wall of the bar, this one unbroken by windows. Bobby would be somewhere in the middle, back to the wall. An easily defendable spot, close enough to either exit while being far enough to see something coming. He and Logan dodged dancers and drinkers, both receiving appreciative glances from men and women alike.

"Shit, Bobby…I hate sitting with my back to the room." Dean huffed as he pulled out one of the tall chairs that sat around the small bar table. He tried to position the chair so that he could see as much of the room as possible and watched as Logan did the same. Dean winced when he moved his shoulder a bit too aggressively. "Damn, almost forgot about that."

Logan gave Dean a quick once over and then settled herself, before she leaned across to Bobby and gave his grizzled cheek a quick kiss. "You alright? How's your head?" Logan sat back, eyebrow raised.

Bobby smirked and blushed a little at her concern. He still wasn't used to having her fuss over him; he'd been on his own for too long. "Hurts like an SOB, but I'll survive." Bobby shrugged.

Dean leaned forward, "You want another?" He motioned to Bobby's mostly empty bottle.

Bobby tipped the bottle, finishing off what was left and then nodded, "Yeah, especially if you're buying."

Dean smiled and pulled his wallet from the inside breast pocket of his jacket. He slid out a credit card and smiled. "Well, I'm not, but…" Dean glanced at the raised print on the card, "…one Josef Konstantin is feeling awful generous tonight." Dean winked at Logan and looked from her to Bobby, "So what are you drinking?"

Logan wrinkled her forehead and thought for a second, "An amaretto sour and an Amstel Light."

Dean rolled his eyes and glanced to Bobby, "And you?"

Bobby sighed, "I'll stick with the usual." Bobby held out the empty Budweiser bottle, "Make it two."

Dean nodded and headed off to the bar.

Bobby tugged Logan's sleeve, when she turned toward him he asked, "Hey, how's Sam's Kate doing? She looked pretty shook up."

Logan nodded a bit sadly, "She's tough Bobby, but hell, she just watched one of her best friends blow half her head off." Logan tucked a strand of hair behind her ear with a little shiver. "It's even a bit too much for me."

Bobby played with the label on his empty bottle, "I know, but is she going to get through it?"

Logan watched Bobby and noticed how tired he looked, "Yeah, I think she'll be good. Sam's there for her." Logan paused and laid her hand on Bobby's arm, "You sure you're okay?"

Bobby blushed, "I'm fine, girl…" He smiled at her, "Tired as hell, and not used to being mothered, but fine."

Logan nodded and pulled her hand back then turned to watch Dean at the bar. She watched two girls approach him, watched him smile and lean a hip against the counter. She saw his eyes run the length of the blonde, then the brunette and she bit her lip when said brunette laughed and leaned against his arm to say something in Dean's ear.

Dean couldn't help admiring the girls even though he felt Logan's eyes digging into the back of his head. The blonde was especially beautiful. She was tall, curvy in all the right places and showing off just enough skin to look sexy, but not slutty. Dean watched her lick her lips as the brunette pressed against him and suggested the three of them head back to their table for a drink and maybe something more.

Logan grit her teeth and without conscious thought slid her knife, the pretty Simonich, from the sheath on her belt. She held the blade up, and ran her thumb along the spine as she eyed Dean bending to the dark haired girl.

"Put the damn knife away, Logan." Bobby hissed, glancing around the room with a silent prayer that no one noticed.

"So help me Uncle Bobby, I'll fucking hurt him…" Logan's voice was quiet, her eyes never moving from the bar.

Dean smiled against the brunette's ear, Casey she had said, "Well, you know Casey I'm flattered and honestly a couple of weeks ago I'd be all over that offer, but you see that sexy, little number at the table with the old man behind me…the one who right this moment probably has her knife in her hand?" Dean waited for Casey to shift her gaze and then when she gasped he pulled back and sat up. "Good you see her, well we're kinda seeing each other and I'm pretty damn sure she'll use that knife on you as quick as she'd use it on me. So, I figure you two might be better off looking somewhere else for a good time."

Casey nodded, nudged at the blonde and pointed over Dean's shoulder.

Dean glanced behind him and waved good-naturedly before giving Logan an exaggerated frown and shaking his head. He turned back to the two women, "Hey, just to show you no hard feelings." Dean motioned to the bartender and when she moved toward him, he continued, "Next couple rounds for my friends here…" Dean motioned to the girls, "…put it on my tab."

The bartender nodded when Dean slid the credit card across the bar. She slid four bottles of beer toward Dean, "I'll have the waitress bring the rest." She said and then moved off down the bar.

Dean smiled at the women, gathered the beer and headed back to the table. Glancing at the girls still staring at Logan he nodded, "Nice talking to you ladies, enjoy the rest of your night."

Logan saw Dean laughing and then watched him frown as he approached. She was still staring at the women, knife lying on the table with her hand over it, "What the hell?"

Dean set two Budweisers down in front of Bobby and slid the Amstel Light to Logan even as he lifted his beer to his mouth. He took a long drink, draining almost half the bottle while watching Logan the entire time.

Logan glared at him and fingered the handle of the knife before she glanced over to the bar, where the two women stood, sidled up to a couple of college-aged kids. Logan turned back, her eyebrow up, "What did you say to them?"

Dean set his beer on the table and gave Logan his most charming smile, "Jealous?" Motioning to the knife, he added suggestively, "You planning on using that like you did earlier?"

Logan blanched and then she blushed even as she gripped the knife and slid it back into the sheath on her belt. "Jerk."

Dean bit his tongue, before the programmed response slipped out. He laughed and slid his hand under the table to grip Logan's knee. He gave it a squeeze. "I told them I was with you."

Bobby cleared his throat, "As touching as this is, you mind getting your damn hand off my knee."

Logan laughed so hard, heads turned.

Dean turned a deep shade of red as he hastily pulled his hand from beneath the table, "Shit Bobby…sorry."

Bobby laughed and took a drink, glancing around the bar as usual. "It's alright boy, funnier than hell, but it's fine."

Bobby eyed Dean and took another drink from his bottle, "What you do to the shoulder?" Bobby jerked his head up slightly, "You're favoring it."

Dean gently rolled it, "Damn Finn dislocated it. You know how easy that right shoulder pops out." He shrugged and took another sip of his own beer.

Bobby sighed, "You shoulda let them do that surgery they wanted to the last time. You might end up with permanent damage." Bobby shook his head, knowing he may as well be talking to the wall.

Dean glared, "It's fine, Bobby. I told you last time it wasn't going to happen. I can't wait three months to..." A dark look crossed Dean's face and he dropped his eyes to the table, "…yeah, well it's not going to happen."

Logan frowned at her uncle and grabbed Dean's beer. She chugged the remainder and then slammed the bottle on the table.

"What the…" Dean turned his glare on Logan, "You mind?"

Logan smiled, "Don't mind at all." Logan shot back and then slammed the rest of her own beer, "Where's my other drink?"

Dean rolled his eyes, "The waitress is supposed to bring it."

Two buckets of beer, and a tray with five shots and an old-fashioned glass suddenly appeared on the table.

"I'm not the waitress, but I sure can bring it…I took the liberty of adding a few more drinks." Ryan's voice came from behind Dean.

Dean turned as Ryan pulled up an empty chair from a neighboring table. "Hey, thanks." Dean glanced at the clock over the bar, "I forgot we were supposed to meet."

Ryan laughed, "Well, don't thank me for the drinks. I told Cheryl to put it on your tab."

Dean pulled a beer from one of the buckets and twisted off the cap. He then slid it to Logan before grabbing one for himself. He watched as Ryan pulled a beer out for himself and then Dean lifted his beer in salute, "Thanks anyway. I was thinking about turning Logan over my knee for acting like a brat." Dean winked at Logan and then smiled when her jaw dropped, "So you saved her some embarrassment."

Bobby chuckled and then held out his hand, "Bobby." When Ryan took his hand he nodded at Logan, "The brat is my niece."

Ryan laughed good naturedly, "Ryan. Do you know Kate? I work with her as a lodge medic."

Bobby nodded, "Yeah, we've met. Nice girl, it's just such a shame."

Ryan's eyebrow shot up, "Something happen?"

Logan set her drink down. "You don't know?"

"Know what?" Ryan leaned forward, the smile falling.

"Shit man. Paige, her friend that's been staying with her…" Logan waited for him to acknowledge he knew who Paige was, "…she called Kate, told her she needed her to come and then she killed herself in front of Kate. Shot herself in the head."

Ryan paled, "That's fucked up. How's she doing? She need anything?"

Dean shook his head, "Sam's with her. He'll take good care of her." Dean took a drink, "She's as good as can be expected I guess, but she's tough."

Ryan nodded slowly and then lifted his beer and drank. "Damn…when'd all this go down?"

Dean fiddled with the label on his bottle, "Couple hours ago, out in some old hunting cabin a few miles down the mountain."

Ryan looked Dean in the eyes, "You were there weren't you?" He shifted his gaze to Logan, ensuring she knew the question was for both of them.

Logan nodded, and swallowed, her throat suddenly dry, "Yeah, when Paige called…Kate was with us. We figured she might need help." She shrugged, "Not that we were any…" Logan's voice trailed off.

"Hey, you guys were there. You can't control what other people do; only what you do." Ryan set his beer on the table, "You were there for Kate and you tried to be there for Paige." Ryan nudged Dean's shoulder and gave him a smile. "You're good friends."

Dean watched emotion skim across Logan's face. He smiled and pushed Logan's amaretto sour across the table to her, "You need more booze."

Bobby laughed, "That is something you never tell Logan. Hell, don't go getting her drunk…you'll regret it."

Dean smiled and winked at Logan, "Naw, I've gotten her drunk before. She seems to think she can out drink me, but she hasn't yet." Dean took a long draught from his bottle as he watched Logan.

Logan sipped at her drink and tried to keep her dark thoughts from disturbing her. With an effort, she pushed the thoughts back and smiled, "Hey Dean, don't you still owe Ryan a story." Logan caught Ryan's eye and winked.

"She's right; you still owe me one…so I believe it had something to do with a priest and a hooker." Ryan turned in his chair to better face Dean. "So, how bout it?"

Dean sipped his beer and nodded, "Fine. So, an old hooker, smelling like cheap perfume, whiskey and too much sex sat down on subway next to a priest. The hooker's skirt was hiked up, and her barely there shirt showed off everything her push-up bra had to offer. Her lipstick was smeared and she carried a half-empty bottle of cheap wine, and a newspaper.

The hooker smiled at the priest, and began to read her paper. After a few minutes, the hooker turned to the priest and asked. "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"

The priest replied, "My child, it's caused by loose living; being with many different men, too much alcohol, breaking up marriages, spreading diseases, and lack of bathing."

The hooker chuckled in response, "Well, I'll be damned," then returned to her paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the woman gently and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

The hooker smiled, "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

Bobby and Ryan chuckled while Logan rolled her eyes, "You know that's freaking lame, Dean."

"Is not." Dean puffed up and glowered.

"Is too." Logan smirked, before tipping back the rest of her amaretto sour.

Dean huffed, "You wouldn't know funny if it bit you in the ass, Logan."

Logan shook her head, "Whatever."

Ryan laughed louder and nudged Dean's shoulder again, "It was good enough. Not as good as mine, but it was good." He finished off his beer and pulled another from the bucket, he shot Dean a hopeful glance. "You wanna play some pool?"

Dean's eyes lit up and he quickly finished off his own beer before grabbing another and nodding, "Sure. You any good?"

Ryan nodded, "Yep. You?"

Dean shook his head as he stood, "Not really, but I can hold my own."

Logan snorted, "Don't let him fool you Ryan. He'll end up hustling you out of your last dollar if you let him."

Dean glared over his beer bottle.

Logan held up her hands, "Hey, I like him, I'm not about to let you take him for the last of his paycheck."

Ryan threw his head back and laughed, "Hell, I was so hoping you were going to say he'd hustle me out of my shirt." Ryan winked at Logan.

Dean blushed and groaned, "Shit. Now, you're in trouble. Ten dollars a game, no hold barred…you still game?"

Ryan nodded and grabbed the still full bucket off the table, "Absolutely, now come on. I can't wait to kick your cocky ass." Ryan moved toward the pool tables.

Dean looked over at Logan, "You coulda kept your mouth shut…we can always use the extra cash."

Logan shook her head, "I told you, I like him. You are not going to scam him…" Logan leveled her eyes shrewdly on Dean, "…and stop flirting with him. Seriously, the guys got a thing for you and all you do is keep encouraging him." Logan reached for Dean's left hand and when he took it she pulled him closer. Quickly she pressed her mouth to his and kissed him hard. "Good luck, baby."

Dean smiled and winked at Bobby, "Hell, even with a sore arm, it's not me who's gonna need luck." Dean shot a glance to the pool table where Ryan was just now racking the balls.

Logan sat back and raised her eyebrows, "Well, then why don't you send Ryan over and I'll kiss him for good luck."

Bobby snorted.

Dean growled, "Hell, no."

Logan laughed and shoved his chest, "Go play."

Dean smiled and moved toward the pool tables.

Logan took a long pull from her beer and watched Bobby survey the room. "Silver bullet for your thoughts…"

Bobby smiled warmly at his niece, "You know your mother always said that and people would look at her funny."

Logan nodded and a smile graced her lips, but didn't make it to her eyes, "Yeah, her and dad, both…and Finn, too."

Bobby's hand fell across Logan's and he squeezed it before just letting it rest over hers, "You hanging in there?"

Logan felt the world sit heavy on her shoulders and she let her head fall forward before she flipped her hand to grab a hold of Bobby's fingers. "It hurts all over again…seeing Finn, listening to the things he says. It's screwing with me and I don't like it." Logan brought her other hand up to wipe at her eyes and then looked over at her uncle, "I'd pretty much buried it all, you know. I was able to go weeks, even months without remembering the bad stuff. Hell, I could even remember the Finn and smile sometimes, but now it's back and it's just hard." Logan shrugged.

Bobby cleared his emotion thickened throat, "You remember when you were kids and you spent Christmas break with me that one year." Bobby cocked his head in thought, "I think you were what…twelve and Finn was fifteen."

Logan nodded, "Yeah, Finn and me had that snowball fight and I broke my arm." Logan laughed, "Finn was so upset and he felt so guilty for hurting me because he's the one who shoved me right before I fell."

Bobby squeezed Logan's hand again, "Remember how he was on Christmas eve while we were waiting up for your parents…remember how upset and scared he was that they were going to punish him for hurting you."

"He kept bouncing around; I thought you were going to shoot him because he kept messing up the salt lines on the window every time he'd pull back the curtains." Logan rolled her eyes and smiled wide, "He finally sat beside me and told me that if I didn't tell mom and dad he pushed me he'd promise to never hurt me again…ever." Logan's smile fell and she shivered as she looked at Bobby, "…but that didn't happen, he did hurt me."

Bobby shook his head, "Think about it, Logan. Before that night in January those nine years ago, did your brother EVER hurt you again, ever? Did he hurt your feelings? Did he hurt you when you sparred? Did he punch, pinch, slap?"

Logan closed her eyes and pulled her hand from Bobby's, so she could swipe better at her tears. Her voice was barely a whisper when she answered, "No, not once."

Bobby reached under Logan's chin and gently tilted his nieces face to his own. "So, was it Finn that hurt you that January?"

Logan sighed. They'd been through this so many times. It was one of the exercises she'd learned in therapy; remember that Finn was her brother, but the bastard that hurt her wasn't. Finn died long before any of the bad things happened to her. She knew the routine, hell she even understood it. It was true, but she also knew deep down inside that Finn had been there. She knew it and no one else wanted to acknowledge it. She knew because she felt him, saw glimpses of him peeking out through the little cracks. She saw how much he liked what was going on, felt him want more and it hurt.

Logan shook her head, "No, it wasn't." She didn't believe it, but she'd let Bobby think she did. He'd loved Finn and if believing that Finn wasn't involved made it easier for her uncle to sleep at night, she wasn't going to take it from him. "No, Uncle Bobby, it wasn't my brother."

Bobby nodded, "Right, so remember that. Your brother loved you. That thing nine years ago wasn't your brother. It was some evil thing that needed, well still needs to be put down." Bobby dropped his hand and took a drink from his nearly empty beer. "We're going to put him down and make sure he doesn't hurt anyone else."

Logan looked away from her uncle, "Yeah, we'll put the evil thing down." Logan watched Ryan and Dean at the pool table, "Uncle Bobby?"

"Yeah, girl?"

"How do you deal with it?"

"With what?"

"You know, with all the evil we see? All the bad things we have to do?" Logan kept her eyes from her uncle and finished off her beer. "How do you sleep at night knowing how much is still out there and knowing how many people died because of you? Either because you killed them or you because you didn't get there in time?"

"Logan, you look at me." Bobby ordered and when she didn't listen he shook her arm, "Now, Logan."

Slowly Logan turned to face her uncle. She met his eyes with her guard down. She let him see the pain and confusion she felt. Her face was a mess of emotion full of fear, anger, hurt, guilt and the need for comfort.

Bobby gasped, "Shit. I deal with it because I have to. I don't have the freedom to pretend I don't know about it. I can't close my eyes and make believe that the evil isn't there." Bobby shook Logan's arm again, a little rougher than before, "You don't either, Logan. Not only do we know it's there, but we know how to destroy it. We have a responsibility to do just that."

Logan let her tears fall and she hiccuped, "What about the guilt?"

Bobby growled, "No time for guilt Logan. We know, we fight and we do what we can. You were raised that way. I wish we could kill all the evil and save all the innocents, but sometimes we can't. We do our best and we wake up and do it again. That's how I live. That's how I sleep. Guilt is a luxury I can't afford."

Logan's eyes slid to pale blue as she watched her uncle, "Your aura is strong, Uncle Bobby. Clear red, shot through with orange and some deep yellow. Powerful in your own way, adventurous and a student. You battle the dark, but it stains you around the edges with it's muddy grey and your fear grows." Logan stared hard into Bobby's eyes, "You're afraid for us, not yourself. I see fear for Dean. Fear that you can't save him and he'll spend eternity in hell. You don't want him to die, and you'll grieve him hard. Sam…you actually fear Sam as well fear for him." Logan thought and stared, "Sam makes you very afraid. You're also afraid for me, that I won't be strong enough to do what I have to do, but I can't tell what that is."

A chill ran up Bobby's spine and after a second he coughed, "Logan, stop it. I don't want you reading me." He dropped his arm to his side and looked away.

Logan closed her eyes and breathed deep. When she opened them her eyes were once again their normal blue color. "I'm sorry." Logan's voice was quiet and confused.

"'S'alright." Bobby opened another beer and drank most of it in one long swallow. "That's eerie as hell."

Logan shot Bobby a small smile, "Well, I'm getting better at controlling it, but the mind talk thing is still hit and miss."

Bobby sighed. "I need to do some more research about that prophesy. There's a reason you can do these things, just like there's a reason Sam can do his." Bobby shuddered. "Be good if we knew the hows and whys."

Logan turned her gaze back to the pool table. She drank her beer as she watched Ryan and Dean laugh at something before Dean bent to take another shot. Several women, and even a couple of men were watching the two play and Logan knew she should be able to find some anger at the women or some laughter at the men, but she couldn't. She just felt tired. "I'm not sure I want to know, Bobby. I'm really not sure I want to know."

Bobby grunted in response and finished off his beer. "Logan, I wish I had pretty words for you. Something to give you hope, but all I have is the guarantee that tomorrow and the next day, and the day after that, the evil will be there. It'll be there whether you fight it or not. You have a choice, but if you want guilt choose not to fight and wait to see how you feel." Bobby slid to his feet and when Logan glanced at him he motioned to Dean, "That boy makes you happy don't he?"

Logan's eyes shifted to Dean, she watched him swagger around the pool table as he watched Ryan line up a shot. She smiled and nodded, "Yeah."

"Is he worth fighting for? Even though evil things own his soul in a few months? Even though it's gonna hurt like hell when he's gone?" Bobby watched a flicker of something cross Logan's face.

Logan turned to face Bobby. "Yes." Logan's voice was strained.

"So, you're fighting for what? A few months of hard fought happiness? A chance that maybe we'll find a way out of his deal. You're willing to risk the heartache and guilt you're gonna feel when he's gone. When nothing, no matter what we try, keeps him topside?" Bobby put a hand on Logan's shoulder. "So, is he worth it? All the struggle and pain and even guilt?"

Logan couldn't answer but she nodded slowly as she bit her lower lip.

"I fight for everyone else like you Logan. I fight so that one parent won't have to kill their child, so that one husband won't have to do what I did to their wife. I fight so that one mother can kiss her baby goodnight and not have to worry about what might be in the room with him. I remember the times things worked; I savor the love I see between people. I fight for my family; you and those two stubborn boys. I fight and I pray that one day I won't have to fight, that we won't have to fight and your children and their children can be safe and never worry about the evil." Bobby bent and kissed Logan's forehead. "You're worth it." Bobby chuckled, "Even those two jackass brothers are worth it."

Logan wrapped her arms around her uncle and wiped her face on his shirt, "Thanks Uncle Bobby. I love you too."

Bobby pulled back, "All right now, enough of that." He chucked her lightly under the chin, "You gonna be okay?" He watched Logan smile and nod, "Good, now keep an eye on that idjit will ya? I'm going back to the cabin for a shower and then some research. See you there later."

Bobby pulled his cap from his pocket and settled it on his head, he nodded and then headed carefully for the door.

Logan watched him leave before turning to wipe her eyes. When she glanced at the pool tables she saw that Dean had taken notice of Bobby's departure. She pointed to herself and then to the ladies room.

Dean saw Bobby leave and then he noticed Logan's pantomime and understood she was going to the head. He nodded, pointed to his watch and held up five fingers. When she nodded and began moving to the back of the bar, he turned back to his game. Ryan was an excellent player and he wasn't getting near as drunk as Dean's usual competition, but Dean was currently up one game and on his way to winning the current one.

Ryan took a difficult shot and missed, "Damn, I've been working on that shot, too." Ryan turned his empty bottle upside down in the bucket and pulled out the remaining two beers. He twisted off the tops and exchanged Dean's empty for the new bottle. "Now, lets make this interesting. You miss your next shot, you do a shot." Ryan motioned to the table where the five shots still sat. He arched an eyebrow and waited.

Dean sipped his beer and without thinking he replied, "You trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me?" Ryan's smile made him immediately regret his words. Shit, Logan was right. He was flirting back with the guy. Dean stood back and lined up his shot, before he bent over the table.

Ryan squeezed past Dean to retrieve the shots from their table. He didn't touch him, but he managed to get as close as possible. He laughed softly, "Do I have a chance?"

Dean blushed, "Told you I'm taken." Dean dropped his eyes and took a deep breath. Ryan returned just as Dean smoothly slid the cue across his fingers. He struck the cue ball just off to the side, exactly where he'd meant to, and the ball moved down the table to strike the six ball and it spun smoothly into the corner pocket.

Dean straitened with a smile, "So's that mean you get to drink?" Dean moved around the table to line up his next shot.

Ryan picked up one of the shots, "You ever have these?"

Dean eyed the other man, "What the hell are they?"

Ryan laughed. "Dirty Cowboys." Ryan gave Dean a wink, "They're like dessert in a glass. I thought Logan would enjoy them."

Dean rolled his eyes, "And what the hell is in a Dirty Cowboy?" Dean realized how his question sounded when Ryan's eyebrow shot up, "Do not answer that question."

Ryan smiled wide, all straight teeth. "It's Bailey's and butterscotch schnapps. Goes down all kinds of smooth and you only realize how drunk you are hours later."

Dean stuck out his tongue. "I bet. So, you drinking?" Dean leaned a hip against the table and waited. He glanced at his watch. Logan had one minute left before he stormed the women's room.

Ryan downed one of the shooters and smiled. "Still your shot." He added as he slammed the glass upside down onto the tray.

Dean nodded, and glanced over his shoulder toward the restrooms; thirty seconds. He tapped his foot and then laid the cue down on the table. He pointed over his shoulder, "Need to break the seal."

Ryan picked up his beer, "Fine, but hurry or I'm taking the shot for you."

Dean spun and moved toward the back of the bar. The hairs on the back of his neck bristled as he got closer and he palmed Colt into his pocket. Without pausing he pushed open the door to the ladies room and slipped inside. Three of four stalls were empty. He knocked on the fourth and when no one answered he kicked sharply at the lock. The door swung inward and then bounced back against the frame with a loud metallic slap.

Gun in hand, Dean pushed the door slowly open and then moved inside. A blonde slumped unconscious on the toilet fully dressed. A small trickle of blood running from the corner of her mouth. Dean felt for a pulse, and found it. He sighed and turned to exit the stall, but something caught his eye. He turned back to the woman and noticed it.

Logan's knife lay on the tank of the toilet. A small pool of blood beneath it. Dean picked up the knife and moved quickly to the sink. He rinsed the knife, wrapped it in several layers of paper toweling and slid it into his pocket. He reached for his cell phone just as the lights went out.

"Shit."

_**You are cordially invited to leave feedback...please feed the muse.**_


	68. We Don't Have to Kiss, Do We?

Dean flipped open his phone and used the light from the screen to illuminate his way out of the bathroom and down the short hall to the main room.

There was an excitement in the room, a buzz as people moved through the bar in the darkness. People had lighters and phones open, but the party atmosphere of the bar hadn't changed. The bar tender was still filling drink orders. People were still on the dance floor, even though there was no music. Some so drunk they didn't realize the music was gone, and others simply not caring.

Clicking his phone shut as he made his way to the pool table, Dean saw Ryan as he sat on the end of the table, drinking a beer. "You see Logan come through here?"

Ryan stood with a confused look on his face, "Um, no. She missing?"

Dean nodded and kept moving toward the door, "I need to find her."

Ryan grabbed his jacket and ran to catch up, "Hey, where you going?"

Dean didn't pause, kept moving through the bar and out the front door. He flipped open his phone and speed dialed Logan's phone as he moved toward the cabin. He hit the speaker button and waited.

The phone rang, once, twice, three, four, five times and then picked up, "Well, you know what the hell to do. So, stop wasting my minutes and leave a damn message."

"Logan, where the hell are you? Call me." Dean ended the call and dialed Bobby.

Bobby picked up on the second ring, "Yeah?"

Dean could hear the sound of the shower, "Bobby, Logan's missing. I found her bloody knife in the bathroom and she's not answering her phone."

"Fuck. I'll get Sam up. You meeting us here?"

"I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Good." Bobby hung up.

"Dean, hey man wait a second." Ryan was just behind Dean, following Dean's almost jogging pace. "Maybe she just left with a guy or something."

Dean stopped, and Ryan plowed right into him. Dean turned and glared, "I don't have time for this, Ryan." He started moving again, but added, "Listen, something's not right. I can't explain it to you, but trust me; Logan didn't just up and leave with someone. She's in trouble."

Ryan grabbed Dean's arm. "You know that how?"

Dean was pissed now. He drew back his fist and let it fly.

Ryan ducked and came up in a fight pose, "Shit man, chill will you. I'm trying to help."

"Then fucking get out of my way. Logan's in trouble, end of story." Dean turned and half walked, half jogged down the path. He'd gone about fifty feet when Ryan's phone rang. He heard Ryan answer and then Ryan's voice brought him to a dead stop.

"Dean, man it's for you." Ryan moved toward Dean, phone in his hand. "Some guy."

Dean spun and yanked the phone from Ryan's hand with his right and pulled the Colt with his left, "Don't move." He leveled the gun at the other man's chest and when Ryan held his hands palm up in front of him Dean put the phone to his ear, "Winchester."

A slick, almost oily laugh bubbled from the other end of the connection, "Dean Winchester, how good of you to take my call. I see you met my associate, as unwilling as he is, he has been extremely useful keeping you occupied. Thank you so very much for keeping him company."

"Who the hell is this?" Dean's left hand didn't waver, and even though he was right handed, their father had thought to teach them to shoot with either hand.

"Oh, you don't recognize the voice, but then you wouldn't would you." There was a scream in the background and the voice spoke away from the phone, but it was still legible, "Shut the bitch up. I apologize for the interruption. My guest doesn't approve of her accommodations, perhaps I need to remind her that they could be worse. Should I do that, or do you think she can cooperate?"

Dean ground his teeth together, "Don't you dare hurt her you fucking son of a bitch."

"Tsk, tsk…such language. Your mother would be shocked, but then she's dead isn't she."

"What do you want?"

"Patience Dean, all in good time. You know I met your father, talk about sons of bitches. That man was as cunning and determined as they come. You should have seen him claw his way to the top of that pit." The voice paused, "He was the only human to make it out, you know. Thousands of demons, but one lone human soul and it was John Winchester. Are you like him, Dean? Are you as cunning and determined to save this fragile, little human bitch as your father was to get out of hell?"

"Hurt her and you'll find out." Dean glared at Ryan. "What's up with your little puppy here? He just a suit for one of your friends?"

The voice laughed, "Think about it. Did McCree notice anything, 'off' about him? She's like a damn bloodhound around us. No, he's not possessed, he's something else entirely."

Dean was confused. "So far you've told me nothing. You planning on sharing anything with me or are you just wasting my time, after all you called me."

"Yes, yes, so I did. Well, you see there are so many things going on that you know nothing about. Even, the main players are still in the dark, well most of them anyway. You see, I know things. I've been watching, sitting back and waiting for the opportunity to step in, though honestly I was hoping my idiot of a son would get it right this time." There was another pain filled scream in the background.

Dean tensed, "Vetis, you better not hurt her you bastard."

A soft chuckle, "Oh, you figured it out. It took you long enough, I mean I about had to spell it out for you. Logan, don't you worry about her she's just a little upset with the help. He does tend to be a little clumsy with sharp objects, but don't worry. She's fit as can be. You know she's special don't you? You even know why." Vetis grunted, "Damn angels aren't supposed to be able to do what they did. No one believed it was possible, but then here she is and pretty as could be."

"Don't fucking tou…"

"Come on now, Dean. You keep threatening, but you are currently impotent aren't you? So do us both a favor and stop. Listen to me because I'm going to tell you things that you might be interested in and stop threatening the stupid kid in front of you. He's not a threat, I promise."

Dean hesitantly lowered the gun and watched as Ryan turned to quietly walked away. "What the hell?"

"I told you he wasn't a threat, now back to what you need to know. You did me a huge favor taking out Azazel, so I owe you."

"I'm not making a deal."

Vetis laughed loudly, "That is rich, my friend. You don't have anything left to deal with, now do you. Come on, Lilith gets your soul in a little over three months. You have nothing I want, but you can do something to help yourself that may assist me."

Dean began to walk toward the cabin, "What?"

"I know how to keep you from the pit, and in fact if I do keep you out of the pit, I benefit. We both come out on top."

"There isn't anyway to break the deal. If I welch, my brother dies."

"Semantics and details, Winchester, I'm telling you I know how to keep you from the pit and your brother breathing, but you have to do it my way."

Dean snorted, "As much as I find your offer interesting, I don't trust demons. You want something. What do you get?"

"Does it really matter?"

"To me, yes, I think it does."

"As I told you, you took Azazel out for me. I appreciate it, that bastard was a thorn in my flesh. In fact, if it weren't for him and his two boys those nine years ago we wouldn't be here." Vetis sighed. "It's a long story filled with demons stabbing others in the back, clawing their way up the food chain in order to be near the top when the world crumbles. Azazel and his idiots messed with my plan to get to the top." Vetis laughed, "Of course one of them was actually working for that bitch Lilith. This screwed Azazel over and set Lilith up as a strong contender. With Azazel gone, Lilith is in my way. Keeping you topside screws her, and clears my path to the top."

Dean was in the parking lot by the cabin. He paused by the car and leaned against it. "Why would I want you at the top?"

Vetis laughed, "Someone's always at the top. Better, the enemy you know…and sure, you're just replacing one enemy for another, but you'll be alive to fight me. If you don't accept my offer what do you have?"

Dean sighed, "Me dead, and Sam alone fighting you, Lilith and whatever darkness Azazel planted inside him."

"Exactly. So, tell me Dean. Do you want to know what it is I know? Do you want my help? You live, your brother lives, oh and of course, the McCree girl lives. Lilith is gone for good; it's all very happily ever after. What do you say?"

Dean dropped the phone to his side and rubbed his hand across his forehead, before pinching the bridge of his nose. He replaced the phone, "No one I love gets hurt?"

"No one."

"What do I need to do?"

Vetis laughed, "It's not what you need to do, it's what you need to know. Knowledge, Dean Winchester is power." Vetis' laugh poured through the phone.

Dean wasn't sure why, but cold fear settled in the pit of his stomach.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

Dean shoved open the door to the cabin to find Logan and Bobby pacing the living area, weapons in hand and coats on.

Sam was in his brother's space in seconds. "What the hell Dean, it should have been a five minute walk." Sam glanced at his watch, "It's been damn near fifteen minutes and you weren't answering your damn phone."

"Back off sasquatch. I know where she is and we shouldn't have any trouble getting her." Dean shoved lightly at his brother, pushing him back about a foot before turning to Bobby, "Vetis and Finn have her."

Bobby scowled, "You call this good news?"

"Look, Vetis called me. He told me he has information that can get me out of the deal and take care of Lilith." Dean ran a hand through his hair and looked from his brother to Bobby.

Sam snorted, "Yeah, and what do we need to give him for it?"

"Nothing."

Bobby swung and glared, "Excuse me? Did you just say a demon wants to give you something and he wants nothing in return?" Bobby motioned to Sam, "Tell your idjit brother how stupid what he just said sounds, will you."

Sam nodded his agreement, "It does sound stupid Dean. Of all people, you should know better."

Dean faced the two men, hands fisted in frustration at his side, "Look. Vetis is grateful I killed Azazel. He wants Lilith out of his way and keeping me in the sunlight somehow screws her plans up to the point where she'll be vulnerable." Dean caught his brother's eyes, "He promised to release Logan unharmed, just for listening to the information. We don't even have to use it…all we have to do is listen."

"Don't like it, boy and I'm sure you damn well know I don't." Bobby wiped a hand across his beard thoughtfully and then raised an eyebrow at Dean, "Listen that's it, all he wants is for us to listen?"

Dean nodded, "He gives us information that we can use to keep me breathing and he gives us Logan. We use it or we don't." Dean shrugged, "Though, I say he thinks we're gonna use it."

"Something's not right, man. We are going to get screwed over and so help me don't think I'm not going to rub it in when it turns out I'm right." Sam slumped against the counter with a sigh. "Where is she?"

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

Sam was hesitant to leave Kate behind and she was more than willing to tag along, rather than be alone. Once again, they used her truck. Dean drove, Sam and Kate settled into the backseat and Bobby riding shotgun.

Kate came in handy, she knew where they were going.

"Um, Dean are sure about the address?" She shifted forward and looked at the text message on the phone he held. "This is Ryan's parents' place." She cleared the message from the screen and her eyebrows knitted together when she saw the wallpaper. "What are you doing with Ryan's phone?"

"I borrowed it." Dean answered, eyes on the dark, slick road. "We had a few drinks at the bar."

"Okay, but that so doesn't explain why you're meeting demons at his parent's house." Kate mentioned and when she didn't get an answer, she nudged his shoulder. "Hello, Dean? What aren't you telling me?"

Dean shook his head, "I'm not hiding anything. I really don't know. Look, Vetis called Ryan and then he handed me the phone. Vetis said Ryan wasn't possessed and I should just let him go. I did. That's all I know."

Bobby grunted, "He wasn't possessed."

Sam sat forward, "And you know this how?"

Dean laughed, "That's so wrong, Bobby. Just wrong."

"What the hell am I missing?" Kate's irritation was evident in her voice.

Bobby half-turned in his seat, "I slipped some holy water into his beer. Kid drank it down without any problem."

Sam rolled his eyes and rested a hand on Kate's knee, "If he was possessed, he would have reacted to the holy water."

Kate nodded. "If he wasn't possessed, then what? Dean, just before you get to town there's a turn off on your left and a big sign, Cedar Bridge Estates, you can't miss it. That's where you're going."

Dean nodded, "I don't know what the deal was, but Vetis made it a point to tell me that he was unwilling."

Bobby rubbed at his beard, "Could be some kinda spell. My sister was really good with casting. She taught Logan some and I'm sure Finn picked some up along the way too. It wouldn't take much to glamour some strangers and convince them of something. Works well if it's something they're likely to believe or want to believe. Then you add a compulsion spell and well, you have people believing you and doing what you want them to do. Only time it gets difficult is when you try to make someone do something against their nature."

"So, you can't spell someone into killing for you?" Dean asked as he slowed the car to a stop and then made the left into the subdivision.

Sam's voice came from the backseat, "You can. If you have enough power at your disposal or the person wants to kill. You might be able to do it with less power and someone really angry, but it's kinda one of those things that's hard to pull off."

"What was Ryan doing? He didn't…I mean he wasn't hurting anyone was he?" Kate asked nervously.

Dean shook his head, moving them slowly down the winding road, "No, he was just hanging around, drinking and flirting. The only thing he did do was try to keep me occupied."

Kate smiled, "He was flirting with you, wasn't he?"

Sam tried to smother his chuckle with a cough.

"What? I'm a good-looking guy. He has good taste, what can I say."

Kate laughed and then sobered quickly, "He usually doesn't flirt too much with guys he knows are straight or who are with someone. So, what was he doing flirting with you?"

"That was probably the compulsion. He likes Dean, the desire to flirt was there, the spell just pushed it." Sam chuckled.

Kate pulled herself toward the front seat, "Third street on the right. Big white house on the hill."

Dean followed the street and then turned onto Big Rock Road. Big white house on the hill was something of an understatement. "What the hell is Ryan doing working?" Dean asked as his jaw dropped. It really was more mansion than house.

Kate rolled her eyes, "Both of his parents are doctors. Ryan didn't want to tie himself to an office, he likes the outdoors too much, so medic works for him." Kate shrugged.

Dean parked the Land Rover in the circular drive and cut the engine. Kate was out the door and in seconds, she stood on the large front porch.

Kate rang the bell as the others filed out of the car. A woman in her early fifties opened the door and smiled.

"Katrin." The woman smiled and pulled Kate into her arms, "Ryan told me about your friend, I'm so sorry."

Kate allowed the woman to hug her and found herself suddenly tearing up. "Thank you, Leah." Kate pulled away and wiped at her eyes as the men gathered behind her.

"What brings you by, Katrin?" Leah, straightened and looked hesitantly at the men. "Who are your friends?"

Sam moved forward to stand behind Kate. He put one hand on her shoulder and when she leaned back into him, he noticed some of the suspicion fade from the older woman's face. Sam held out a hand, "Sam Winchester."

Leah took his hand with a smile, "Dr. Visintine, you can call me Leah, and your friends?" Lean motioned to Dean and Bobby.

Sam smiled, "I'm sorry, forgive me ma'am. This is my brother, Dean and our Uncle Bobby Singer."

Dean stepped around Sam and Kate and held out his hand, "Nice to meet you ma'am."

Leah took his hand and smiled, "You too, Dean, but honestly, Leah is fine."

Bobby pulled his hat from his head and held out his hand, "You have a beautiful house, Leah."

Leah nodded, "Thank you." She motioned to the door. "Would you like to come in or are you here to see Ryan and his friends?"

"Um, who's with Ryan?" Kate raised an eyebrow and smiled secretively.

Leah laughed, "Oh, it's not that kind of friend, Katrin. Seriously, I wish that boy would live up to his claim to be bisexual and ask you out." Leah winked and watched Kate roll her eyes. She held up her hands, "I know, dead horse, but you know how much Cole and I love you."

Kate smiled indulgently and blushed. "Ryan's like a brother to me, Leah. Even if he was interested, I'm not."

Leah nodded, "Yes, I know. His friends are that nice boy Finley and his father, who honestly doesn't look a day over thirty-five and far too young to have a boy Finley's age. Do you know them?"

"They're old friends of ours. Ryan mentioned they were staying with you and we were welcome to stop by. I hope that's alright." Sam's sincere charm and puppy-dog eyes on full blast.

Leah smiled, "Oh, it's fine, I mean Ryan's place is around back. Katrin knows that, she just always stops to say hello when she pops by. Tell Ryan that there's still plenty of lasagna left over, will you." Leah pulled Kate in for a quick hug, "Don't worry about stopping by when you leave, Cole and I both have to be up early for meetings and I'm heading to bed. Have fun." Leah kissed Kate on the cheek and separated. She pushed the door open fully and smiled at the others, "It was nice meeting you all." She went inside and closed the door softly behind her.

"If you knew Ryan's place was out back why'd we stop to talk to the good doctor?" Dean asked as he took the small path to the left of the porch.

"Well, if something was hurting them I wanted to know. Leah didn't seem to be in any kind of danger." Kate grabbed Sam's hand and followed Dean around to the back of the house. "Ryan has an apartment over the garage."

The garage was a huge, four car deal, it was almost as pretty as the house and the apartment covered the entire second floor. The garage was easy to see, but it appeared to be shrouded in a thick fog.

Kate pulled up, just outside the darker barrier. "What the hell is going on?"

Dean pressed his hand against it and felt the same greasy feeling he'd felt at the skating rink, "It's outer darkness. The Grigori drag it around with them."

"Humph," Bobby reached his hand into the darkness and then pulled it back through, "So, it just shows when they do?"

Dean nodded, "Once you go through, you don't hear anything from the other side, which means they could do anything, be as loud as they want and no one on this side would know."

Dean moved through the darkness, and turned to watch the others follow.

Kate led the way to the side of the garage. She opened a door and the four of them climbed the staircase to a landing. Kate knocked.

The door swung open and a handsome man with dark hair stood on the other side. He smiled, "Oh, I wasn't really expecting anyone other than you Dean." The man caught Dean's eyes, "But, I suppose it will be just fine. Where are my manners, come in please."

The man stepped aside, allowing the foursome to pass and then he closed the door.

Dean stood in front of the man, "Where is she?"

"Mr. Winchester, you really aren't one for pleasantries are you?" Vetis shook his head and straitened the hem of his cashmere sweater. "Well, since you want to get right to business I suppose that's what we should do." Vetis moved into the apartment, "Right this way."

Dean moved past him, "Logan? Answer me." Dean looked around the large, open living room/dining room, the roomy kitchen and then eyed the large loft and the hallway off to the left, where four doors sat closed. He spun on Vetis, "I asked you where she was." Dean made a grab for the man's sweater, only to be suddenly forced back against the wall and pinned.

Bobby and Sam both pulled their guns, but found themselves struggling to stay on their feet as they were forced to their knees with their hands pinned to their sides.

"Now, now, I think we can be polite. After all, there is no need for any of this. Mr. Winchester, if you promise me to stay calm I will release you and your companions." Vetis shot a glance at the men on the floor, "But the weapons stay on the floor."

Dean glared, "Let. Me. Go."

"Do I have your word that you will remain civilized?"

"Only if I get to see that Logan is, how did you put it, 'fit as can be'. You let me see her, and I'll give you my word." Dean glanced at Kate and shook his head when she reached for the knife on her belt.

Vetis noticed Dean's unspoken communication with Kate and smiled, "That was very wise. I suppose I can let you see the girl." Vetis swept his hand in Dean's direction and watched as the man slid to his feet and straitened. Then he made a fist over Sam and Bobby's head and they were able to stand. "Weapons on the floor, gentlemen."

Sam nodded at Bobby and together they left their firearms on the floor.

The three hunters and Kate converged and stood in a loose grouping.

Dean cleared his throat, "Logan?"

Vetis waved them forward, waited for them to follow and climbed the steps to the loft. "As you can see, she's fine."

Logan sat blindfolded and tied to a chair. Tears were squeezing past the blindfold and running down her cheeks and she was shaking uncontrollably as she tried to rock back and forth in the chair.

Finn sat directly across from her, every so often reaching out and touching her with his hand or the small dagger that he held. Occasionally, he cut her. Finn smiled up at them, "I'm not hurting her. She's stronger than you realize."

Dean's growl was seconded by the one from Sam.

Bobby grabbed their arms when they moved forward. "He's not really hurting her. He's just scaring her."

Dean stepped closer to Vetis, "He's torturing her. You know what he did to her. For fuck sake she's terrified."

"Again with the semantics, Winchester. I said she was fit, I never did mention her emotional state." Vetis smiled at Finn, "My son has a bit of a sadistic streak." He turned back to Dean, "Some people seem to like it."

Muscles in Dean's jaw jumped as he clenched his jaw and his hands fisted at his side, "Fine. You give me the information I need and then we leave." Dean looked purposefully at Logan, "All of us."

Vetis smiled and nodded, "That's the deal. I'll even throw in our lovely host family, completely unharmed. Consider it a bonus." Vetis winked. "We need to talk privately, though. Your companions are welcome to keep Finn and his sister company. Our host has an office that will be perfect for our business."

Dean nodded, then paused, "Where is Ryan?"

Finn all but giggled, "He's sleeping off a good time."

"I assure you, the only thing the young man will remember is that he had the best night of his life." Vetis added smoothly. "He's a bit worse for wear, but it wasn't anything he didn't want and none of the damage is permanent." He moved to the stairs. "And before you start threatening, remember you are in no position to do so."

Dean's jaw clenched again, "If he is hurt, I won't forget it."

Vetis inclined his head and went down the stairs.

Dean shot Sam a glance, nodded and then followed.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

Vetis settled himself into one of the comfortable chairs by the gas fireplace in Ryan's office, which Dean would have called a computer room.

Dean sat across from Vetis and rested his right ankle on his left knee. "So?"

Vetis smiled, "Again, a man of few words. Very well. You know very little of what is actually going on around you, and that makes you dangerous. Not only to me, but also to Lilith. You keep getting in the way, doing things that interfere with plans that have been in motion for centuries." Vetis steepled his fingers beneath his chin, "Your parents were also very good at that, though I'm not going to go into that now."

Dean sighed, "Look, just tell me what I need to know, so I can get out of here."

A dry laugh filled the room, "Have I been a neglectful host? If so, I apologize. I don't often entertain for long periods of time, well at least not this way anyway."

"I bet. Now can we complete our transaction?"

Vetis sighed, "Very well, though you should work on patience. It goes a long way." Vetis crossed his legs and straitened the crease of his trousers. "Lilith is planning on claiming your soul and then destroying your brother. Her hatred for Azazel is legendary and even if Samuel Winchester wasn't the strongest of the special children, she would kill him." Vetis blinked and black orbs stared across the space between Dean and the demon. "What do you know of prophesy?"

"Look, some idiot claims some dream he had foretells the future, he writes it down and next thing you know it's a damn prophesy. What is there to know?"

"Much more than that. The future is often fluid and dependent on certain key players. Some things are set in stone, but when it comes to humans, you all have free will. You choose one thing, but then you can change your mind and follow a different path the next second."

Vetis placed his hand on his chest, "Demons, like myself, we had but one chance to choose. I, have no alternate path. My fate is sealed. I told God to fuck off. I have no choice but to end up in hell, but you. You can end up in hell or heaven. You choose today it means one thing, but you get to choose again tomorrow and the next day and until you draw your last breath, think your last thought, until electricity stops flowing through your brain you still have a choice. So many things can change, but so many will stay the same."

Dean shook his head, "Great. I appreciate the free Prophesy 101 bit, but what the hell has that got to do with me and this information you have?"

"You are stubborn and single minded, much like your father, aren't you?" A cruel smile slid across Vetis' face. "Lilith is attempting to manipulate the world to fit the prophesy she ascribes to, while I wish to do the same. Azazel's gone, any prophesy that went with him ascending to rule in hell are null and void. He was the top contender, but with him out of the way, Lilith and I both have, a chance to lay claim to our own competing prophesies. Things need to fall into place for both of us. Keeping you and your brother alive just now benefits me, because in my prophesy you take that bitch out."

Dean smiled, a bit cocky. "Yeah, well I like your prophesy already."

"I thought you would." Vetis chuckled. "Your brother's powers are greater than you know, so much more than he knows and his path is melded with that of my son and Iaoth's daughter. All of this would have been void if Azazel were still alive, but like I said…" Vetis spread his hands, "You took care of him for me and I appreciate it."

"So how do I get out of Lilith's deal?" Dean leaned forward.

"Well, Finn informed me of something he saw and it fits a prophesy that reads: _The daughter of Ioath and a child of Azazel will stand together. Powers bound as one, they will defeat the great Wanderer of the Night._ You see your brother's power complements that of the McCree girl. They resonate in way that makes them so much more powerful together than apart. Together they can destroy Lilith and with her gone, your deal is void."

Dean let the demon's words sink in. Logan and Sam could take out Lilith and he'd get to live. Dean leveled his eyes on the bottomless black of the demon's gaze, "There has to be catch."

Vetis sat back into his chair and smiled, "None that I know of."

"If Sam keeps choosing to use his power, what happens to him? I know you say he has choices, but what about this one?"

The demon shrugged, "How can it be a bad thing to destroy evil?"

"Grey area." Dean laughed nervously.

"Tell me something, Dean."

"What?"

"Why does this grey area make you nervous? You're a hunter, what about that lifestyle is black and white?"

Dean thought about it and shook his head, "Nothing. I hunt and kill, I steal to survive, I lie, cheat, drink too much, I sleep around and I do it all to destroy evil."

Vetis inclined his head in answer.

"So, when do we kill her?" Dean asked after several moments of silence.

"I have only speculation. When your contract comes due, Lilith's guard will be down. She'll think she's won, and she'll be gloating. I think it is best to strike then."

Dean nodded and stood. "Is that all I need to know then?"

Vetis stared at the hunter. He cocked his head to the side, "You know they have free will and they may choose not to help you. Lilith still may be a thorn in my side."

"Yeah if that's true then why are you offering this deal?"

"To save my son. If I don't offer this, you kill him. Without my fair-haired warrior, there is no fiery destruction. Azazel's possession wrecked havoc on what he was meant to be, but my future ascension depends on having him beside me." Vetis blinked and the black was gone.

Dean stared at the man in the chair, "We don't have to kiss do we?"

Vetis laughed, full and rich, "No, we have more of an agreement than a deal. Your freewill is still intact and you owe me nothing."

Dean nodded, "Then I want Logan released and you and Finn gone."

"Very well." Vetis stood and a sudden rushing sound went through the room, blowing papers into the air.

The flame of the gas fireplace rose and roared and then everything went silent. Dean stood in the room alone. He spun and pulled his knife when the office door crashed open.

Sam and Bobby rushed into the room, guns in hand.

"Where are they?" Sam panted, looking through the room frantically.

Dean lowered his knife, "Gone."

"Where to?" Bobby, shoved past Sam and stood in front of Dean. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his flask, "Drink it."

"Bobby, it's me."

Bobby cocked the hammer on the old single action revolver in his hand as he pressed the gun to Dean's head, "Then prove it." He pressed the flask into Dean's hand.

"Dammit. Get the fucking gun off me." Dean grumbled as he twisted the cap from the engraved silver flask and took a long drink.

Bobby immediately lowered his arm and eased the hammer back down. He grunted, "Why you gotta make a big production outta that is beyond me…stupid idjit."

"Trust, Bobby…it's called trust." Dean shoved the flask back into Bobby's hand, "Where're Kate and Logan?" Dean was already moving to the door.

"They're fine. We left Kate to cut Logan's bonds and went looking for you when Finn just up and disappeared." Sam followed Dean out the door.

"Yeah, well they won't be bothering us anymore. They're gone."

"Gone as in, you sent them back to hell or they moved on to a different zip code?"

Dean glared at his younger brother over his shoulder.

"Come on Dean, we should've put them both down. At least Finn, that piece of shit." Sam mumbled as he climbed the stairs to the loft behind Dean. "You didn't make a deal did you?" Slight panic was in his voice.

"No deals, Sammy." Dean stopped, two steps from the top of the stairs, "No more deals with demons. No more using demon powers, nothing like that anymore." Dean was eye to eye with his brother, who was a step below him. "No more."

"What the hell has gotten into you?" Sam frowned. "It's not like I've used any of my powers for anything bad. I've sent a couple of bastards to hell."

Dean nodded, "Yeah and a good ole unsanctioned church exorcism would've done the exact same thing." Dean put his hand on his brother's shoulder, "Just promise me you won't use it. It's important." Dean stared his brother down, eyes never flinching, just boring into Sam's soul. "Please, Sammy. Promise me."

Sam's face fell, "Yeah, Dean if it's that important to you, then I promise. What did that mother fucker say to you?"

Dean shook his head and shifted his eyes from his brother's open gaze, "Nothing important." Dean swallowed and squeezed Sam's shoulder. "Come on, lets get the girls and get the hell out of here."

Sam didn't believe Dean for a second, but he nodded, "Yeah, sure..."

_**You know I'm always asking for the same thing. I'm like a broken record, but you all know what I like. So, come on treat a girl right and leave a review ;)**_


	69. Lose Myself in You

Logan still sat in the chair. She was shaking with her face buried against Kate's side while Kate whispered softly into her hair, arms wrapped around the other girl.

Dean stood for second and watched. He listened to Logan's sobbing and suddenly wished he had killed Finn. His hands clenched uselessly at his side and he cast a glance to Sam, knowing Sam would understand.

Sam watched his brother freeze and when Dean looked at him, allowed him to see all his fear, uncertainty and hesitation, he sighed. Sam brushed past Dean, grabbing his brother's arm and tugging him slightly as he approached Kate and Logan. He rested his arm across Kate's shoulder, "You both alright?"

Kate looked up, tears in her eyes, but she nodded. She saw Dean, "She's asked for you." Kate tried to disentangle herself from Logan, but Logan held on. She turned and pulled Logan's hands from her sweater, "Shh, Logan Dean's here." Kate petted Logan's hair and then bent close to her ear, "Sweetie, shh."

Logan sniffed, she was tired, her adrenaline rush had faded some time ago, but Finn had kept her hyped, not letting her calm. She'd heard his voice in her head. Over and over, he kept telling her things, showing her things from the past. He did it to torture her, it was her biggest weakness, that overwhelming helplessness she'd felt that night. The fear of someone taking and hurting, someone who loved you, someone you trusted.

Logan held out for Dean. She knew Dean would come to her, make her feel safe, take the helplessness away, but when she felt Finn's presence go, felt the tape holding her hands removed, when she finally pulled the blindfold away, Dean wasn't there. She opened her eyes and Dean wasn't there, only Kate and even Kate's words that he'd be there weren't enough. She closed her eyes and pressed against the other woman, took the little comfort she found there, but it wasn't enough. It wasn't what she needed.

Sam shoved Dean's shoulder, forcing his shell-shocked brother to move.

Dean knelt beside the chair, gently moving Kate aside and pulled Logan into his arms. At first, she resisted, cried and turned her head, but then suddenly she clung to him, buried her face in his neck, gripped the leather of his coat and cried.

Logan inhaled the smell of him all leather and gun oil, aftershave and sweat: Dean. She instinctively curled against him, felt his arms wrap around her and then heard his voice vibrate against her as he spoke softly into her hair.

"Logan, baby I'm so sorry…shh, it's alright…you're safe." Dean's grip tightened and he felt tears press against his eyes; tears of relief and anger. The depth of his own emotion shocked him. He closed his eyes and breathed, steadied his thoughts and then remembered the bloodied knife. He pulled back and held Logan at arms length.

"Where are you hurt? I found your knife, Logan. Where?" Dean's eyes traveled over her face and upper body.

Finn had cut off her shirt, leaving her in a tank top. Small, shallow cuts covered her arms, shoulders, upper chest and even her neck, where bruises were starting to rise. Dean clenched his jaw as anger welled up. Sam was so right; they should have put Finn down.

Logan was confused for a minute and then remembered the bathroom. The woman asking for help and then the feeling that someone else was there. She knew even before she turned that it would be Finn behind her. She'd pulled her knife and turned, even as she thrust. She remembered smiling when the knife sank into soft flesh and he cried out. Logan opened her eyes, wiped at them and looked up at Dean. "Wasn't mine."

"Huh?"

"The blood, it was Finn's. I sank the blade into his side, all the way to the hilt." Logan swallowed and blinked her swollen, bleary eyes in an attempt to clear her vision. "Then he choked me out." Logan rubbed at the bruises on her neck. "Bastard. I woke up tied to this damn chair with him threatening me." She paused and shook her head, "Shit"

"What?" Dean stood, pulled his coat off and then his button down shirt, leaving him in his Henley. He put the shirt around Logan and after she slid her arms in, he buttoned it halfway up.

Logan rolled the overly long sleeves up as she spoke, "Ryan. He had Ryan, told me he was going to hurt him, and then left me alone for awhile with Vetis."

Sam stepped forward, "Did Vetis hurt you?"

Logan shook her head, "No, just ran his mouth about prophesy and freewill and told me about breaking Dean's deal." Logan finished with the sleeves and stood. "You guys see Ryan?" She reached for Dean's arm when she felt a wave of dizziness slam into her.

Dean stepped closer, leaned her against his side.

Kate shook her head. "He better be alright." Her voice was shaky, unsure. "Finn said he was 'sleeping off a good time' and Vetis said he was alright, but 'worse for wear'."

Sam looked to Kate, "Where's his room?"

Kate was already moving down the stairs, Sam behind her.

Bobby met them at the bottom. "You looking for Ryan?" When they nodded he continued, "Um…he's indisposed."

"What the hell does that mean? I want to see him." Kate made to dodge around Bobby.

Bobby caught Sam's eyes and shook his head. "Kate. He's okay, just shaken up and he asked to be left alone. He's embarrassed and a bit beat on, but he's conscious and talking."

Kate's jaw dropped, "Did that son of a…" Her eyes swung up to Sam's and then to Bobby again, "He wasn't raped was he?"

Sam laid his hand on Kate's shoulder, "Kate…"

Bobby interrupted, shook his head, "Not in that sense, no." Bobby wiped at his beard, "He's confused. Finn compelled him to want to do things…he feels violated, but not really in that way."

"I need to talk to him." She shook off the hand on her shoulder and moved quickly through the room and down the hall.

She knocked on Ryan's door. "Ry, it's me. Can I come in?"

There wasn't an answer. She tried the door and found it locked, "Come on Ryan, answer me."

There was a muffled sound and then, "Kate…please, go away." Ryan's words sounded slurred and thick.

"Ryan, you don't sound so good. Let me look you over, make sure you're alright. Nothing else." Kate rested her forehead on the door. "Come on, Ryan. I've already seen everything your mama gave you."

A small laugh came from the other side of the door, "Fuck you, Katrin Elizabeth."

"You wish, Ryan Abraham Visintine, you wish..." Kate smiled at the insult. It meant Ryan wasn't in as bad a shape as she was worried he was.

Ryan groaned, "Do you have to use my middle name? Damn it, Kate I hate it and you know it."

Kate smiled, his voice was closer to the door. "You know you love it." She rolled her eyes, playing along with him. "Oh, oh, yes Ryan Abraham…oh, god yes."

There was a click and then door swung open. Ryan stood, a towel wrapped around his hips, his body and hair still damp. He looked at Kate and gave her a crooked smile.

"My god, Ry…what the fuck? Shit, you alright?" Kate was alarmed.

The entire left side of Ryan's face was swollen and purple. His left eye was swollen completely shut and a three-inch gash ran across his eyebrow, up onto his forehead. There were small bruises all over his neck and chest, even down his belly and disappearing under the towel. It took Kate a minute to realize they were bites. Teeth marks were clear with some of them. One in particular around his right nipple was deep, breaking skin. Bruises also circled his wrists, a few places were raw and Ryan absently rubbed the right wrist with his left hand.

"I'll live, Katie…I'm gonna feel like shit for a few days, but I'll survive." Ryan grabbed Kate's hand and gave it a squeeze.

"Don't call me that, bitch." Kate reached up to his head and lightly fingered the gash across his eyebrow, "That needs stitches." Her fingers trailed lightly over his face, prodding along his cheekbone and then down the underside of his jaw, "Nothing's broken is it?"

Ryan shook his head and sighed. "Kate, I'm fine." He grabbed her hand and pressed it to his lips, "Just a little roughed up." He winked.

"Don't you dare tell me you enjoyed that?" Kate huffed at him, "You look like you went a few round with Big Foot. Dammit, Visintine you promised me the last time you wouldn't let anyone hurt you like this again."

Ryan blushed, or at least Kate thought he did, the bruising made it difficult to know for sure. "I'm not saying that SOB didn't push my boundaries, but hell yes I enjoyed it. Best I've had in some time." Ryan looked up the hall, "Bobby told me Finn wasn't who he claimed to be." He frowned, "He told me he hurt Logan. She okay?"

Kate nodded. "She's more scared than anything. He hurt her a little, but she's hanging in. You're in much worse shape than her."

"I sure know how to pick em, don't I?"

"I'm not even going to answer that because you know where I stand." Kate put her hands on her hips and then muttered, "I might have to date you just to keep you from screwing up…"

Ryan bent close, "You've been talking to Leah again, haven't you? Besides, Sam might have something to say about that sexy…don't think he'd be to keen on you with me."

"Shut it." Kate leaned her head against Ryan's chest, "What the hell am I going to do with you?"

Ryan loosely wrapped his arms around her shoulders, "You could find me a hot guy like one of those brothers. Seriously, why are all the hot guys straight?"

Kate chuckled against him, before straightening. "Yeah, this from the man that claims he's bi." She raised an eyebrow at him, "Are you sure about that?"

Ryan nodded, the corners of his mouth tweaking up, "I like girls just fine, but sometimes you just need some…"

Kate held a hand up and shook her head. "Don't you dare say it Ry, I swear I'll kick you." Kate crossed her arms and looked at him, "Let me stitch up your forehead and you better figure out a way to stay outta Leah and Cole's way or they're going to kill you."

Ryan smiled, "That's why I'm staying at your place for awhile. No one's there with you staying at the cabin. May as well crash there, right?"

Kate sighed, she'd hoped she and Sam could spend a night alone there, but she nodded. "That's fine. Get your shit together so we can go." She turned and headed back to the living room.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

It was decided that Bobby would stay at Kate's with Ryan. It made Kate feel better knowing a hunter was there, just in case. They stopped by the cabin first, let Bobby pick up his stuff and Kate put nine ultra fine stitches into the cut on Ryan's forehead before covering it with gauze and tape. Then Ryan piled into Bobby's truck and the two left.

Together the brothers checked the salt lines and Dean watched as Sam inscribed a couple of runes over the door with the tip of a silver knife then Sam grabbed a beer and a bottle of water before he ushered Kate to the bedroom, leaving Dean and Logan the loft, which Dean actually preferred. He hated when Sam slept closest to the door.

Dean watched Logan climb to the loft and return with clean clothes.

She stood for a minute between the hallway and the couch where Dean was half sitting, half laying facing her. Logan bit her lip and hugged herself.

"What's wrong?" Dean sat up, a worried look on his face.

Logan shook her head, "Nothing." Her voice was quiet, almost hesitant. "I was hoping you'd join me."

Dean smiled and stood, before stalking toward Logan with all the grace of the predator he was, "All you had to do was ask." He wrapped her in his arms and bent to kiss her softly.

Logan melded herself against his hard body and reveled in the way she felt when she was with him. Heat poured through her, excited her, made her burn. She felt her pulse speed up, her breath catch and she moaned as she slid her tongue into his mouth. He tasted of beer and cinnamon and it surprised her. She smiled into the kiss.

Dean let Logan deepen the kiss, tasting and teasing across her lips, into her mouth. Slow, caresses across her palate and tongue. He savored the scent of her, loved the black licorice scent of her shampoo and the cherry cola flavor of her lip-gloss. His hands slid down her back to cup her ass as he pressed himself against her more firmly. He pulled back and caught her eyes, "You sure you're okay?"

Logan nodded, even though she wasn't. There were too many thoughts running through her head. Things Finn had said, things Vetis had said and things she felt. She just didn't want to think about anything for a while. "I just need to lose myself for a little while." Logan's hand slid up the back of Dean's neck and teased along his hairline. "I want to lose myself in you."

Dean smiled and lowered his head to kiss her along her ear and down her jaw, "You're welcome to it." He chuckled and stepped forward, moving Logan backward a step at a time toward the bathroom in the hall. Logan's head fell back on her shoulders, "You want to shower, right?" He asked as he kissed under her chin and back up the other side of her jaw.

Logan moaned, "Mmm, yeah…" Her hands gripped his shoulders as she moved backward another step. She needed the shower to get Finn off her skin and she needed Dean to force Finn from her thoughts. Logan felt tile beneath her feet and she reached over Dean's shoulder to flip on the light. Then she found herself pushed against the sink.

"God, Logan I was so scared he was going to hurt you." Dean's voice was desperate against her mouth then he kissed her. Dean devoured her mouth pressing his tongue into her mouth, finding every surface, claiming it.

Logan moaned and let Dean control the kiss. She only wanted to remember his kiss. She pulled him closer, her hands curling into his short hair as her tongue darted in and out of his mouth. She nipped at his lips and then teased them gently with her tongue.

Dean groaned and forced himself back. "Shower." He smiled and pushed Logan back when she tried to press up against him again, "Shower, Logan…remember."

Logan frowned. "Yeah, yeah, fine." She began to unbutton the shirt she wore as she watched Dean move to turn on the shower and adjust the temperature. She had the button down off and was pulling her tank top over her head when she heard Dean's sharp intake of breath.

"Damn it. That mother fucking piece of shit." Dean's hand ghosted over Logan's shoulder and down her arm lightly touching each shallow cut. "I'm sorry I wasn't there." Dean lifted Logan's chin when she looked at the floor. "I'm sorry."

Logan looked into Dean's eyes and gave him a genuine smile, "I know, but really it's okay. I'm fine. Nothing more than paper cuts, right?"

"Turn around." Dean grabbed Logan's hips and spun her around. He slid his hands slowly up her sides and under the band of her bra enjoying the small sounds of pleasure she made in the back of her throat. He undid the bra and slid the straps down her shoulders, letting the bra fall to the floor. Dean pulled his own shirt over his head, then pulled Logan's back against his chest as his arms slid down to her hips He began working on the button of her jeans, his thumbs teasing along her hipbones making her shiver.

Logan relaxed back against Dean, absorbing his strength and heat letting it soothe her spirit and ignite her desire. Steam was beginning to fill the bathroom and Logan was enjoying the way the moisture was sitting heavy in the room. Logan moved her bottom against Dean's erection and giggled when his fingers fumbled with her jeans.

"Sit still you tease." Dean bit out playfully as he kissed her cheek, looking over her shoulder to watch his left hand slide into her jeans.

Logan gasped when Dean's fingers slid into her jeans and her head dropped back onto his shoulder. "God, baby…"

Dean chuckled and slid his finger along her wetness before he twirled it around her clit. He pulled his hand out, "Shower."

Logan groaned, "Broken record, much Winchester?" She pushed him back and shoved her pants down to her ankles before turning and brushing past him to the shower. She stepped in and then adjusted the water temperature to suit her. She pulled the shower curtain closed with a frustrated, snap. "Happy now?"

Dean smiled and made quick work of his own jeans. He slipped into the shower and then yanked Logan hard against him. "I am now." His hands slid behind her head and he pulled her lips to his. His kiss was slow, building and prompting, filled with passion and promise even as he pressed himself against her.

He kissed his way down to her neck. "Do you know how long I've wanted to have you in the shower? God, Logan the last time almost killed me, but you weren't in any shape…You're so damn sexy, all wet." Dean's hand ran down Logan's left side from shoulder to hip and then up to cup her breast. He watched the water run down her chest and drip from the erect nipple of her right breast and his breath caught as he bent his head and pulled the nub into his mouth.

Logan gasped and gripped the back of Dean's head with one hand while she steadied herself against the wall with the other. Dean's left hand settled on her right hip and his right hand found her other breast to pull and tease the nipple in time to the sucking and teasing of his tongue.

Dean was lost. He spun, moving Logan out of the spray so that he had her back pressed against the wall. He dropped to his knees, mouth sliding a path down her ribs to her hip and then settling lower. Gently he picked up her left foot and set it on the outside edge of the tub. His fingers then traced a trail up from ankle to knee. He spent a few moments teasing his fingers from her knee to the juncture of her thighs and back before bending to kiss the same path.

Logan shivered at the contrast of temperatures. Her back against the cool tile, the steam still billowing from the spray, the warmth of the water as it fell against her chest and the overwhelming heat of Dean's mouth sliding down her side and then up her leg. Her right hand gripped the bar in the tub while her left settled on his head and threaded into his hair. She brushed the wet locks from his forehead and when she caught his eyes, saw the depth of his desire she moaned, her knees almost going weak. When his tongue snaked out and found her clit, she bit back a scream. It came out as a rough, strangled sound and her hand spasmed in his hair.

Dean tasted her, the sweet, musky tang against his tongue intoxicating and he brought both hands to her hips to steady her as he pressed closer, pulling the sensitive nub into his mouth. He alternated long, languid strokes of his tongue with quick short sucks. He used his thumbs to open her more, giving greater access and then thrust his tongue deep, teasing, licking, and sucking until she was grinding against him desperately.

Logan was begging, "please…please…god…please…" over again and again as she arched back against the tile to press closer, needing more, wanting more.

Dean slid a hand to her center and slid two fingers inside. He hooked his fingers and pressed upward as his tongue and teeth teased her swollen clit. He felt her wetness slide down his fingers and he pressed harder, thrusting and curling his fingers.

Logan bucked against Dean, against his hand and into his mouth and then suddenly the world stopped. Her heart skipped a beat as her breath caught in her throat, her muscles quivered, her vision swam and then she came apart. She cried out, loud and sharp, "Deeeaaann."

Dean eased her down into his lap when her legs gave way. He gathered against him. His lips found hers and he kissed her.

She kissed him eagerly, finding herself on his tongue and she groaned at the intimacy of it. She shifted, moving so that she straddled him and was able to rock against him, sliding his hardness against her slick, wet slit. The sensation almost overwhelming on her sensitive flesh and she shuddered, gripped his shoulders and moved against him with purpose. She slid her mouth from his and panted against his shoulder, "Still…" Logan moved forward, sliding Dean just to her entrance, "…need…"she slid back before moving again, "…more…damn…" Logan rocked faster.

Dean gripped Logan's hips, letting her slide against him. It was torture, it was bliss and it was pushing him to his limit. He bit his lip and watched the pleasure on her face, watched her breast sway as she moved. "Fuck, Logan you are sexy as hell…what you manage to do to me…"

Logan smiled and then pushed herself up. She reached for Dean's hand and helped him stand; flipping their positions, she pressed him against the wall and pulled his face to hers. She pressed her forehead to his and watched his eyes. "I want to taste you."

Dean groaned as Logan sank to her knees and grabbed the base of his cock before sliding her mouth around him. Dean watched as she slowly took him into her mouth, teased the underside of his cock with the flat of her tongue and then pulled back with a gentle scrape of her teeth across the top. She began to move faster, sliding him in and out as her hand moved ahead of her mouth, twisting on the down stroke and then again on the up stroke. Dean watched until sensation became too much and his eyes drifted shut. His head fell back on his shoulder and he pressed slightly forward, his hand on Logan's head guiding without pressure.

Logan loved the taste of him, that musky, salt of the precum that was leaking from his tip. She sucked and licked, bobbing her head. She listened to his breathing, heard it catch and give. She felt the ever more urgent flicks of his hips and she pushed him closer wanting to taste him as he came, wanting him to know how she felt.

Dean felt himself get closer, so close, and he stopped Logan with his hand as he pulled his hips back. "Please…baby…I want to…ungh…" He gasped as Logan fondled his sac, teasing fingers straying to his perineum, a single finger teasing further back. Dean began to shake, "Oh, shit…"

Logan pressed forward taking Dean's cock deeper. Her eyes on Dean's face as her right hand moved over his testicles. Rolling, teasing as fingers slid to tease the sensitive flesh behind the scrotum. She paused and waited for Dean to open his eyes.

Dean slid his gaze downward. He watched as Logan nudged his left leg outward and then her hand moved to his ankle. He lifted his foot to the side of the tub and watched as she pressed him deep into her mouth and sucked as she pulled back. "You're killing me…" His hands rested lightly on Logan's head as he watched himself pull from her mouth.

Logan smiled and sat back. "I'm not done yet." Logan slid her right hand down her chest and then between her legs.

Dean watched her fingers disappear between her legs. He watched her stroke herself, watched as her left hand fell between her legs and teased her clit. "Hell…that's fucking hot, baby…" Dean swallowed and watched. His cock jerked and he couldn't help but wrap his hand around himself and stroke up and down as he watched.

Logan watched Dean touch himself and it pushed her closer. She rubbed at herself, pressing her fingers inside, moving against them while she watched him stroke himself. Her head fell back slightly, her mouth opened. "Gonna…gonna come…baby…"

Dean smiled, "Do it for me, Logan."

And she did, thrusting against her fingers.

Dean watched her pupils suddenly blow, her breathing become erratic and then she slumped against his thigh.

Logan paused, catching her breath and then sat up again, left hand gripping Dean's weeping cock, right hand still between her legs sliding as she moved. She moaned and pressed her legs together, "Mmm, you like that?"

Dean nodded as he watched her lick her lips and then close them over the tip of his cock. She used her mouth on him and then he felt her right hand slide against his sac, still dripping with her juices. Slow, firm circles against his taint as her finger slid further back. He sighed when her slippery finger circled the tight muscle.

Logan watched Dean for hesitation, waited for permission and when she pressed that single finger against the muscle and heard the deep groan, she smiled around his cock.

"Fucking…helllll, yesss." Dean's voice sounded strained even to him, but the pressure from her finger and the slip slide of Logan's tongue and mouth on his cock was overwhelming. His fingers gripped her hair and when she pushed her finger in past the second knuckle, curled it just right so that it pressed against his prostate, his hips bucked and his legs almost buckled.

Logan took the bucking in stride, her left hand stroking up and down with her mouth. She slid her finger almost completely out as she moved down his cock and when she pulled back, teasing the tip of him with her tongue she pressed in with her finger.

Sensation engulfed Dean. Exquisite torture and there was no fighting it. He arched his back, pressed into Logan's willing mouth and then thrust back on her finger. He thrust and withdrew, felt as Logan kept the pace, teasing with her tongue and her finger. She pushed him higher, edging him closer.

Logan felt it, felt Dean's balls tighten against her hand, heard his breathing change and she twirled her tongue and curled her finger.

Everything centered on Logan's hand and mouth and suddenly Dean's back was arched, the muscles in his neck pulled tight as bowstrings. He roared, hands on Logan's head, pulling her close as he thrust and emptied himself in her mouth.

Logan swallowed what she could and then pulled back to catch her breath. Gently, she slid her finger from Dean, and then wiped at her mouth.

Dean leaned heavily against the wall of the shower and looked down in amazement at Logan as she looked up at him. "Come here." He reached for her, pulled her to her feet and caught her mouth with his own.

Logan was surprised when Dean kissed her, most men were weird about it, but she didn't' complain as he kissed her tenderly, taking his time as he cradled her face in his hand.

"That was…" Dean pushed wet hair off Logan's face and smiled at her, "…I don't know where to begin."

"Then don't." Logan slid her arms up and around Dean's neck as she rested her cheek against his chest. "You know the water's getting cold?"

Dean chuckled, "We could have used that a few minutes ago." He kissed the top of her head and shifted his stance when he realized how shaky his legs were.

Logan pulled back, "Don't think cold water would've done much to you, baby."

Dean shook his head, "Probably not, you had me so damn hot…shit Logan. That just made the list."

Logan furrowed her brow in confusion, "What list?"

"The best sex of my life list, every guy has one." Dean winked at her, "You know the list we then compare all other such acts by. You just placed in best blow job in a shower…" Dean cocked his head, "Hell, I think you actually made best blow job ever." Dean smirked.

Logan pinched his nipple until he yelped, "So, not funny Winchester." She bent and swiped her tongue over the assaulted nipple, "Please tell me there isn't a list and if there is I'm going to have to know exactly what the categories are."

Dean shook his head, "Oh come on now. You know you have a list."

Logan shook her head.

"You do too. Everyone does, you know you compare lovers…" When she shook her head, again he glared. "So you've never had a bad lover."

Logan rolled her eyes, "You know, a man is only a bad lover if the woman doesn't know how to tell him what she wants."

Dean grabbed Logan's shampoo, the black licorice and inhaled the scent with a sigh as he poured some onto his hands and began working it into her hair. "So, the guys you've had to 'tell what you want' they're as good as the guys who just know?"

Logan moaned as Dean massaged her scalp. "Fine, if you put it that way then no…mmm…the guys who know the wheres, hows and whats are better."

Dean worked the shampoo lather down Logan's shoulders and arms. "So, none of those better guys were the best at anything?"

Logan knew she'd been had and she sighed, "Fine, yes alright I have a list. Happy?"

Dean chuckled as he poured some of the shampoo onto a washcloth and then began working the cloth over Logan's back, "I love this stuff. Makes you smell like sexy candy."

Logan giggled, "You know licorice is an aphrodisiac? Supposed to make you want me more, so maybe it is sexy candy?"

Dean leaned in and kissed Logan softly.

She kissed him back and stole the washcloth to finish her shower, "Water is getting too cold to hang out and chat." She scrubbed up and then tossed the cloth to Dean so she could rinse. "Too cold, I'm out of here." She slipped out of the tub.

Dean used more of the shampoo to wash his hair and body before rinsing too. The water was ice by the time he had finished and he shivered as he stepped from the tub.

Logan stood wrapped in a small towel. She slapped another towel against his chest as she used another to get her hair mostly dry before pulling on a tight black t-shirt emblazoned with, "I feel a sin coming on…" and a pair of black boy-shorts that included a fly.

Dean smiled appreciatively, "You're a bit late with the shirt, don't ya think?"

Logan pressed against Dean. "We could find another way to sin if you want?"

Dean chuckled and tucked wet hair behind her ears. "You are insatiable, you know that?"

"Only for you," Logan kissed Dean chastely. "You top the list in every category…" She waited for his wide cocky smile, then she added, "…well except one." Logan pulled away and moved out of the bathroom, a smile on her face.

Dean followed behind, a towel around his hips. "Which category? Shit Logan, that's wrong…so very wrong. You have to tell me. I have my pride."

Logan laughed outright. She turned at the bottom of the stairs to the loft, "Dean, you're whining."

Dean pouted, "Am not." Dean winced when he realized she was right.

Logan rolled her eyes, "Okay, whatever you say..." Logan giggled and climbed the steps.

"So help me, Logan..." Dean followed her up the stairs and tackled her on the bed. "You are gonna tell me, one way or another."

Logan smiled and pulled Dean's towel from his hips. She shook her head. "Nope, you're just going to have to keep trying until you figure out a way to top that category..." She purred when Dean's lips found the sensitive spot behind her ear. "Mmm, yeah...keep trying..."

**_You know what I want, so please leave me comment...my muse thrives on them :)_**


	70. Bad Blood and Bad Dreams

_**Note:** Sorry for the length of time between posts. The whole real life thing really gets in the damn way sometimes. That and plot bunnies making me write and post two other Supernatural oneshots instead of writing what I should have for this one. I know this chapter is a little short, but I plan on posting another one really soon. I figured I should get something up soon, before you all mutiny on me ;)_

_Thanks to everyone for reviewing. I appreciate it more than you all will know, so please continue ;)_

"You're still mine."

Cold dread settled in Sam's gut at those words. He paused and turned.

Azazel stood behind him, leaning against the trunk of the Impala with a wide smile across his face.

"You're dead and so is your ghost." Sam's jaw clenched along with his fists. "You can't be real."

The man laughed. "Oh Sammy, I'm as alive as you are boy. I walk, talk and breathe." He moved toward the front of the car, fingers trailing over the curve of the roof until he stood inches from the Sam. "In fact, you keep me alive son. I'm part of you." Azazel pressed his fingernail against his wrist and watched as liquid crimson welled to the surface. "You know it's true. You saw what I did and even now you can taste it…feel it. You can sense it, can't you Sam? You can sense all the power that flows through you, and the knowledge that hides just out of your consciousness." Azazel lifted his wrist to his mouth and licked away the blood.

Sam swallowed and watched the demon's tongue caress the bleeding wrist. He saw the pleasure on the other man's face and his face screwed up in disgust. "Get the hell out of my head and leave me alone." Sam reached for the door handle, but suddenly found himself on the ground, staring up at Azazel who was kneeling over him.

Azazel's laughter rang through the cold, early morning air. "I can't leave Sam. You're not getting it are you?" He shook his head. "You are the smart one, right? What did I just tell you? Hmm?" Azazel lifted his wrist over Sam's mouth and watched as the blood formed a large hanging drop. It fell and landed on the other man's cheek. "My blood Samuel…" another drop fell, landing on Sam's nose. Azazel bent low over Sam's ear and whispered. "…It's in you." He sat up and violently pressed his wrist to Sam's mouth. "I am in you…"

Sam fought, but he was unable to turn his head and Azazel's wrist was against his lips, pressing with such a force that it was against his tightly clenched teeth. The blood oozed out and slid between Sam's teeth, running down his face and mixing with saliva. Sam could taste it on his tongue, coppery, oily, sickening and wrong. Sam gagged, and swallowed.

Azazel threw his head back and laughed as he brought his other hand up to pat Sam's cheek, "That's my boy…now one more time." He pressed his wrist even harder, bruising Sam's mouth and increasing the bleeding. His hand came up to pinch the younger man's nose as he smiled down at him. "Come on son, take your medicine like a big boy."

Sam glared, but he had no control. He couldn't turn his head and the need to breathe was getting more difficult to ignore. His lungs burned, his chest ached and then his mouth opened and blood poured in, mixed with air. Sam saw Azazel smile and nod.

"Good boy."

Then he was gone and Sam sat up, wiping at his mouth with his hands.

"Sam?"

Sam jumped and turned to his side, finally realizing he was in the cabin, in the bedroom with Kate curled up beside him. He sighed. His thoughts chaotic, but one predominant thought in his head, it's just a dream, it's just a dream…

Kate sat up and brushed hair from her eyes. The room was dark, but she could see Sam's shape and she moved toward him, her hand finding his shoulder. "Something wrong?"

Sam sighed and slid an arm around her. Finally voicing his thoughts, his words almost a whisper, "No, just a dream. Go back to sleep."

Kate snuggled up to his side and let him lay them down so that her face was against his chest. "You want to talk about it?" Kate yawned and lifted her left arm up by her face. She pressed the light button on her watch and then dropped her arm across Sam's chest. "It's only four, too early to get up."

Sam chuckled and kissed the top of her head. "Shh, yeah, it's too early to be up." Sam frowned, he still tasted blood.

Kate pressed against Sam, her hand sprawled across his chest, fingertips just moving over his sternum. "My grandmother believed our dreams served a purpose. They were there to tell us something, guide us or warn us, sometimes even remind us of things we needed to remember." She shifted her head to a more comfortable angle. "You're heart is pounding. Was it a nightmare?"

Sam closed his eyes and swallowed the tight knot in his throat. He nodded, "Just bad memories." He wiped at his mouth again and his hand came away sticky with something. He knew what it was. Sam sat up, moving Kate off him quickly and ran to the bathroom.

He bent over the commode and retched painfully. He felt Kate's small, cool hand on his shoulder as he slid to his knees, she'd flipped on the little bedside light in the room and left the door open, to illuminate the small space.

Kate frowned and moved to the sink as Sam retched repeatedly. She wet a washcloth with cold water and waited for him to finish. She put the cold cloth to the back of his neck and rubbed random, but soothing circles across his upper back while murmuring quiet sounds. Kate waited and when Sam didn't start vomiting again, she slid the washcloth to his forehead and then gently wiped at his mouth.

"Shh, you'll be fine." Kate whispered into his ear, slightly confused. She pulled the washcloth up and was shocked by the bright red blood smeared across it. "Sam, you're bleeding."

Sam nodded and lifted his head. He grabbed the washcloth and wiped at his mouth again as he pushed himself to his feet to lean against the sink. He looked in the mirror and wiped all the blood from his face, scrubbing at the half dried spots on his cheeks and nose. He rinsed the towel out and watching the red swirl down the drain. "I bit my tongue."

Kate's eyebrow shot up, but she nodded. "Let me take a look, there's a lot of blood." She moved around to stand beside Sam and looked up at him, her hand moving to his jaw. She wiped one last smear of blood from his chin, frowning when it felt oily and wrong against her finger

Sam shook his head, "I'm fine. It's already stopped anyway." He tossed the towel in the sink and frowned in the mirror. "I must have done it while I was dreaming." Sam stepped back and away from Kate, suddenly needing space.

Kate's arm fell to her side and a hurt look crossed her face. "Okay." She watched Sam leave the bathroom and stalk back to the bed. She watched his body language tighten as he tensed staring down at the bed. She wiped at the stupid tears in her eyes, took a deep breath and moved back to the bed.

Sam saw the blood on his pillow. Drops and smears of red against the white and fear rose up his spine. He knew it had been more than a dream, but he also knew Azazel was gone. The dead demon's words ran through his head.

"My blood Sam…it's in you…I am in you…"

With a curse, Sam grabbed the pillow and threw it across the room. He turned to the dresser and started pulling things from his pack.

"Sam, you're scaring me. Please tell me what's wrong." Kate stood at the foot of the bed and watched.

Sam pulled a pair of sweats form his bag and started pulling them on. He glared at Kate and instantly felt bad for it when he saw her face, but it didn't change anything. "I need to think. I need space." He pulled a hoodie over his head and then sat on the small chair to tie his running shoes. "I'm going for a run. I just need to clear my head."

Kate nodded. "I could come wi…"

Sam stood, "No." His voice sounded short and harsh, even to him. He moved to the door. "I just want to be alone, Kate. I'm sorry." Sam kept moving through the cabin, he didn't look back. He didn't see Kate's face crumble or the silent tears on her cheeks. "I'll be back soon. Lock the door behind me."

The door slammed, the sound loud in the quiet of the cabin.

Dean shot up out of bed, knife in hand.

Logan was also up; first round chambered, as together they looked down into the cabin.

It was quiet, nothing was moving, but he could have sworn he'd heard the door. He glanced at Logan with his eyebrow cocked in question.

She nodded, "The door slammed."

"Sexy look." He smiled, he couldn't help it, come on, she was naked and holding a gun. Her hair all messed up in that way that instantly made him think of sex and whole situation struck him as both sexy and silly. "Clothes?"

She smiled and lowered the gun with a nod toward him. "You too, stud."

Dean followed her gaze, but he already knew. Hell, he already admitted it was sexy. "Can't help it McCree, the things you do to me…" He winked and sat to pull a pair of jeans on.

Logan rolled her eyes, but did the same pulling on jeans and Dean's button down from last night.

Dean was down the steps and in the living room well ahead of her, pulling his shirt over his head as he went. He saw Kate standing in front of the door, her hand on the lock. "Kate, everything alright?"

Kate turned, tears still on her cheeks, but she wiped at them angrily with her sleeve as she nodded. She sighed. "Yeah. Sam just wanted to go for a run."

Dean's eyebrow shot up. If Sam was running, he was thinking. If Sam was running and thinking, it was something serious and if Kate was crying, it wasn't anything good. "What happened?" Dean stepped aside as Logan moved to Kate and wrapped an arm around her.

Kate let herself be led to the kitchen counter and watched as Logan set the teapot on the stove and prepped two mugs with teabags. Neither woman spoke.

Dean watched and slid onto the stool beside Kate, "You two have a fight or something?"

Kate lifted her eyes to Dean and shrugged. "I didn't think we did, but it feels like it." Kate wiped her eyes again. "He woke up kind of scared, like he had a bad dream and for a minute or two it was fine. Then he was throwing up in the bathroom, with blood on his face from what he says was from him biting his tongue. Next thing I know he's pushing me away, snapping and going for a run." Kate frowned, "And making sure I knew he didn't want me around."

Logan listened and then poured hot water into the two mugs. She slid one across to Kate along with the sugar. "He say anything?"

Kate shook her head. "Said it was a dream, bad memories and that he needed to clear his head. He wasn't too bad until he saw the blood on the bed."

Dean caught Logan's eyes and she shrugged. "Was there a lot of blood or something?"

Kate sipped her tea and then dumped a spoonful of sugar into it. She stirred and frowned, "Not really, just drops on his pillow and on his face."

Logan watched over her own mug. She lowered it. "If he bit his tongue how did he end up with drops on his face and pillow?"

Kate's forehead knit together.

Dean stalked off toward the bedroom he pushed the door open and flipped on the light. He checked the window, noticed the salt line had been disturbed, nothing big, but it was broken. He found the pillow on the floor, and picked it up.

Three or four circular drops of bright red were on the pillow. An outline, a ring of bright yellow surrounded each drop. Dean knew, but he raised the pillow to his nose and inhaled. The sharp scent of sulfur assaulted him.

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	71. Runaway

_**Note:** Yeah, so this one's short too, but I only promised an update, not that it woud be long ;) Okay, so again let me know what you think...if you love or hate or somewhere in between. Regular length, and timely updates should be starting back up soon..._

Sam pulled the hood up on his shirt and started at a fast walk down the path that led past the lodged and then out onto the road. He worked into a slow jog, and then increased his pace, until he was pushing himself. He let thoughts flow in rhythm with his steps.

_Yellow eyes is dead…hell even his ghost is dead, so what the fuck is going on? That bastard isn't inside me. I have free will. I choose, not him. I won't let him control my destiny, especially since he's not even here._

Sam ran down the mountain road. It was dark and the road was slippery, but there wasn't anyone on the road. He stuck to the side, the dull slap-slap sound of his feet and the rush of his breath the only sound, other than his thoughts.

_Dad knew. Knew there was something inside me. Dean knows because Dad told him...made sure to pass on the information that I might become evil. Sure Dad, share it with Dean, but don't bother telling me._

Anger drove Sam's running and his pace increased again. His jogging became a full out run, the cold air burning his lungs as he breathed through his mouth. He felt his muscles sting and it felt good. He reached up and threw his hood back as sweat started to prickle his hairline.

_He's right though. I feel it. I can feel the power, just out of my reach there's something else, something more. Dean doesn't want me using it, even though it's saved his ass and Logan's ass. He's being a jerk, as usual. Dean, wanting to define things for himself, doesn't matter how it really is or how it feels to anyone else involved. What if it is evil though? What if every time I use it, the damn demon blood thickens, grows and part of me disappears? What if I do end up crossing over to the darkside? What if it is…my destiny?_

Sam laughed, way too much Dean and too much Star Wars. He shook his head and focused on his stride as he stretched it out. He enjoyed the slight quiver of muscles as they worked together. He listened to the rhythm his feet pounded out against the ground. He listened to the pounding of his heart, the way he could hear it in his ears and he upped his pace.

_Dean's keeping something from me. Vetis told him something, hell even Logan said he'd been going on about getting Dean out of the deal. Yeah, Vetis knows shit to get rid of Lilith, get Dean out of the deal…that's all we needed to do. Just listen to Vetis, let him tell us what he knows and then we get Logan back. Bullshit, but Dean's keeping something from me…something about the powers because he wanted me to promise I wouldn't use them._

The road began to level. He'd passed the turn off to the old cabin about a mile ago. Meaning he'd ran about four miles. Sam slowed and turned around, he jogged at a steady pace, but no longer at a sprint, as he headed back up the mountain, back toward the lodge. Uphill he was slower, but he didn't drop below a fast jog. He was starting to feel it. The lack of sleep, lack of warm-up and the lack of proper footwear were all starting to pull at him. His feet were ice, despite the heat radiating from the rest of his body. Sam sighed and focused on putting one foot in front of the other.

_Dean knows how to get out of his deal and somehow it means me using my power, but he's against it. Hell, he'd been against finding a way out from the beginning. Shit, he was a stubborn jackass. Kate…dammit I hurt her, but what other choice is there? In a couple of days were gone. I'm going to leave her here so we can go off and track some other evil piece of shit down to kill. Dean's going to die in three months. I'm leaving Kate behind… but whatever, at least Dean'll have Logan with him, to keep him company. What will I have? Nothing…all alone. Always have been…_

Sam felt the tears and he wiped at them. Again, anger drove him to run faster, pushed him harder. He was pissed. At himself, at Dean, at Dad, at the life they were forced to live, at how they grew up…if only.

_If only…shit, that's my whole damn life. If only, Mom wouldn't have died, if only Azazel hadn't picked me as one of his special kids, if only Dad wouldn't have started hunting, if only Dean wouldn't have almost died, if only, if only, if only…fucking if only!_

Tears were in Sam's eyes. He turned the sharp curve, almost back to the lodge entrance. He moved into the center of the road to avoid the large drift on the side of the road. He shoved his sleeves up in an attempt to cool himself and caught sight of the slash on his wrist. Sam's stride faltered, he tripped as he stared at the small cut on his left wrist and the next thing he knew he was flying through the air, feet over head. He landed on something hard, glass shattered and pain; pain everywhere…then blackness descended.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Dean and Logan showered and dressed, figuring they were already up, might as well stay up. Dean made coffee while Kate showered and Logan cleaned her weapons. Dean set a cup of coffee in front of Logan as he sipped his own.

Logan raised her eyes to Dean's face.

He nodded, "Just a little milk and a spoon of sugar."

She watched Dean as she ran the oiled square through the bore of the .45 she as cleaning. "What's going on, Dean? I mean Sam would've checked the line before he got in bed. Right?You both went through the house last night, checked the salt lines. Nothing should have gotten in." She pulled the square out and looked through the barrel. She laid the gun down and picked up the coffee. She took a sip, set it aside and started reassembling the gun. "It doesn't make any sense. Sam's not that clumsy."

Dean watched as Logan put the gun back together effortlessly, before picking up the next and breaking it down. He sipped from his mug. "I have no damn idea." Dean put the mug down with a shrug. "If a demon was in here, why didn't it do anything? No one's hurt, just a little sulfur tinged blood in the bedroom."

Logan cleaned the Glock with a separate cleaning kit. One she kept special for the delicate polymer that made up the Glock's construction. Logan looked up from her work. "What if the demon's still here?"

Dean's jaw dropped. "Kate? Wouldn't you have sensed it?"

Logan nodded. "But if it's not Kate?"

"Sam?"

Logan shrugged. "He left before I was awake." Logan sprayed the Prolix down the barrel and through the cylinder chambers and then set the gun aside for a minute. "We have to admit that it's possible."

"What's possible?" Kate asked from the kitchen.

Dean lifted his head and then glanced to Logan before looking back to Kate. "That maybe Sam's possessed."

Kate grabbed the counter and shook her head. "No. He was acting fine. Wouldn't he be acting different?"

Logan turned in her seat on the couch. "You acted fine until the demon thought it was being threatened." Logan picked up her coffee and sipped. "They can stay hidden if it suits their purpose." Logan shrugged. "He was gone before I was up, of course when he comes back I'll be alert for anything odd." Logan caught the look Kate shot her, "I'm not saying he is, Kate, I'm just saying that it might be possible."

Kate nodded and sat a little unsteady on one of the stools at the counter. She jumped when her phone chirped. "Shit." She pulled the phone from her pocket.

"What?" Dean moved toward the kitchen.

Kate flipped open the phone. "It's an all hands call. I need to respond." She read the message. "Accident on the main road, about an eighth of a mile from the entrance." Kate headed to the room to grab her coat.

Dean's phone rang just as Kate reentered the living area carrying her boots. "Winchester."

"_Dean?"_

"Yeah? Who's this?"

"_Man it's Ryan. You still at the cabin?"_

"Ryan?" Dean put his mug down. "Is it Bobby?" Dean moved toward the coats, by the end of the counter.

"_Hell Dean, no. I'm on shift, I'm up at the entrance to the lodge."_ Ryan paused. _"It's Sam. He's the pedestrian part of the auto vs. pedestrian. He's hurt pretty damn bad, we're going to have to fly him out."_

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	72. Of Pain and Waiting

Pain. He found himself buried in it. He knew he needed to choose. Either climb into consciousness and reinforce the pain, or sink into oblivion and avoid it. He decided to push past the screaming headache, the crushing pain in the entire right side of his body, the constant desire to drift back into unconsciousness and focus on the hurts, both big and small. A whimper slipped past his dry lips. He thought he heard voices. Thought someone called his name, but the rushing sound in his ears made it impossible to tell.

Sam knew he was lying on his right side and he could feel the cold beneath him, seeping in through his damp clothes. The chill hit him like physical pain and he shivered violently, renewing the whimpering sound in his throat, as fire shot up his right side. It was hard to breathe with the sharp, hot pain that shot through his chest with each shallow inhalation. He tried to fight the tremors, but it hurt to struggle against the involuntary movements of his body. His right shoulder throbbed, even though it almost felt numb and the arm didn't respond when he tried to move it.

Something wet and sticky was running from his head. He felt it move down his cheek and drip from his nose. It was getting harder to focus, he knew he was losing blood and starting to go into shock. He heard more voices, louder now along with the sirens and then someone was hovering over him. The smell of plastic hit him, as a mask slid over his face and cool air blew into his mouth and nose, further drying them out.

"Sam, can you hear me?"

Sam tried to open his eyes, tried to respond, but the effort used most of his limited energy and actually made him sink deeper into the darkness. Then something hard was pressing against his back, his world shifted, and then shifted again. Sam felt two large pads pressed to his chest and something clipped to his finger. He vaguely heard a frantic beep-beep-beep sound and realized it was the sound of the monitor. Sam felt as something encircled his right upper arm and then he heard a voice.

"Sinus tach in the mid 120s, SpO2 hovering in the low 90s. BP's 102/56. He's hanging in there, for now."

A different voice, somewhat familiar, soft in his ear, "Sam, open your eyes if you can hear me. Come on man, answer me." Sam felt a pinch in the bend of his elbow then a rush of warm fluid flushed up through his arm, renewing the shivering.

Something hard roughed up and down his sternum. It hurt and he lifted an arm, managed to moan.

"That's it Sam, open your eyes for me."

Sam struggled and one eye slit open. The world was hazy, flashing lights sending wild shadows flying. He gasped. Someone was holding his head, he was on his back and the voice was coming from the other someone kneeling beside him.

"Hey, there you are. Stay with me, man. It's Ryan and the ugly one holding your head is Kyle." Ryan watched Sam's eyes drift close again. He rubbed the knuckle of his index finger down Sam's chest again. "Don't make me hurt you. Come on Sam, stay with me."

Sam's eye shot open again. "...kay…"

"That's it. Listen to me, we're gonna lift you a little so we can wrap a collar around your neck. You understand?" Ryan nodded to Kyle who was still out of Sam's limited line of sight. "You let me know if it hurts."

Sam inhaled, felt the collar slide under his neck and he whimpered again, as tears filled his eyes. Somewhere deep inside he wished he could stop the tears and muster up a moan, the whimpering was sounding girly, even to himself.

"What hurts Sam?" Ryan leaned directly over Sam's face, wiped at a bit of blood from near Sam's eye.

Sam grunted. "Ev'thng…D'n…"

Ryan nodded. "Everything huh? Well, tell ya the truth you look like shit, so I don't doubt it. I called your brother, now you have to promise to stay awake for me, okay?"

"D'n…Ka…Kt…tell her s'ry"

"Kyle, get a second line in him." Ryan snapped and started his assessment of the injured man. Most of the trauma was to the right side of Sam's body. His shoulder was swollen, probably dislocated, possibly broken. Sam's right arm was swelling at the wrist. Ryan knew there was head trauma, and there were three lacerations of varying sizes on Sam's head and face, still bleeding, but not badly. Ryan palpated Sam's skull, felt the crepitus and grinding indicating a fracture a few inches above his right ear. "Shit." He grabbed his scissors and cut down the front of Sam's sweatshirt, separating it.

Kyle threw a blanket over Sam's chest and tucked it under him even as Ryan continued his assessment.

Sam's chest and belly were a mass of burgeoning bruises, abrasions and road rash. Ryan gently palpated along Sam's ribs, noting several on the right side that were definitely broken. Ryan moved the scissors down each pant leg, cutting through the fleece easily and then placing a blanket over the rest of his body, tucking it under him.

"Sam you still with me, Man?" Ryan felt down Sam's legs. "Hey, I don't think you broke either of them, but your right knee's gonna hurt like hell." Ryan sat back, and looked at Sam's face.

Sam had managed to keep his eyes open, it was a struggle to do it, but he did. "D'n…"

Ryan smiled and held up his phone. "I called him Sam, he's coming. Sam, can you move your legs?"

Sam heard Ryan's voice, knew he should try to move them, but couldn't as there was something in his throat, blocking his airway. His fingers fisted weakly as panic set in. He coughed feebly, and was unable to clear his throat, the copper taste of blood rose into his mouth.

Ryan caught the panic in Sam's eye, and on his face. "Damn, Kyle grab the suction."

The oxygen mask was gone and then Sam felt the hard plastic slide into his mouth, heard the slurping sound of the suction. The plastic tube made him gag, and his eyes water, but he managed to catch a small breath before he felt another wave of blood pool in the back of his throat.

"_My blood Samuel…It's in you…I am in you…"_

He coughed again, and began to thrash on the backboard. He felt someone holding his head down, felt them press him back onto the cold plastic beneath him and then Ryan's face came into view.

"Sam, you need to calm down and focus on taking a breath. There's nothing there man." Ryan held Sam's arms down and struggled to attach the safety straps across Sam's body.

"Ryan, hold him still so I can check his airway." Kyle wiped the small amount of spittle from Sam's mouth as he looked into his mouth. "Shit, I can't see anything and we're gonna have to tube him if we can't keep his airway clear." He opened Sam's airway by lifting his jaw forward.

Ryan got the straps across Sam's body, and then as Kyle suctioned Sam's mouth again, he fastened the one over Sam's forehead. "Sam, calm down. We're trying to help. Come on man, look at me, it's Ryan. Open your eyes, Sam."

Sam gagged, and opened his eyes. He felt the suction catheter in his mouth and he fought the rising panic.

"_Come on son, take your medicine like a big boy."_

Sam caught Ryan's eyes, saw yellow and tried to turn his head, "No…stp…" Sam gasped for breath, coughed. "L've…me 'lone…" Sam's eyes bulged, every muscle in his neck tensed and then everything went black.

"Damn it, what the hell is he fighting for? I'm not getting anything with the suction." Kyle looked to Ryan.

"It's the head trauma. Tube him and let's move. We need to get him the hell out of here." Ryan handed Kyle the fiber-optic scope and an 8.0 ET tube. "I'll check with Kate."

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Kate gave them directions to the hospital. It was fifty miles to the other side of the mountain and the trauma center. She threw Dean the keys to the Land Rover and then headed for the chopper.

Logan called Bobby from the Land Rover, telling him to meet them at the hospital.

Logan shut her phone and watched Dean out of the corner of her eye.

Dean's hands fisted on the steering wheel, his jaw clenched as he growled under his breath.

Logan couldn't hear his words. She slid her hand across the seat and resting it lightly on his thigh. "You alright?"

Dean glanced at her, a hard glint in his eye, "What the hell kind of question is that?"

Logan shook her head and pulled her hand back into her lap. "The kind of question someone who cares asks, you jackass." Logan swiped her hair from her face. "You can be angry all you want, but don't take it out on me. I'm trying to help." Logan's voice wavered. "Sam's like a brother to me."

Dean punched the wheel, "Damn it, he is my brother."

Logan sighed and turned to look out the window. She ignored the tears threatening to fall.

Silence reigned. Dean drove and Logan lapsed into a fitful half-sleep, her head against the window.

Dean's thoughts were angry and worried. He had no idea how badly Sam was hurt and it frustrated him that he wasn't there to see for himself. He knew he was wrong to snap at Logan, after all, she was worried too and she was right. It hadn't been just the two of them for the past couple of months, they'd become a team, a family. Logan belonged with them.

Dean glanced over at her, noticed how she was almost asleep, but still looked tense. He knew she cared about Sam and he knew she was as worried as he was. Dean's phone rang and he almost jumped as it interrupted his thoughts. He fumbled in his pocket and then flipped the phone open.

"Yeah?" He saw Logan sit up, wipe her eyes and watch him with interest.

"Kate. You're there…Shit…We're about fifteen minutes away…No, he's not allergic to anything…I know…we'll be there soon." He closed the phone and slid it into his pocket.

"What she say?" Logan shifted in her seat and turned to face Dean.

Dean sighed, looked over to Logan and then back to the road. "They had to put him on the ventilator, they're giving him blood and he's holding on. They're doing a CT scan, checking his head and then he's probably going to surgery."

"Was he awake when they found him?" Logan watched Dean, saw the tension in his jaw and on his face.

"She didn't say." Dean's hands tightened on the steering wheel. "He's unconscious now and his blood pressure's dropping. They're not sure where the bleeding's coming from."

Logan nodded, and moved her hand toward Dean, but stopped. She dropped her hand back to the seat and then pulled it back to her side to resume her vigil out the window. She worried the ring on her thumb, rubbing over the engraving that had all but disappeared over the years. She had no idea what it had once said, only knew it had belonged to her mother. She watched the trees lining the roadside gradually thin as random business and buildings took their place, streetlights appeared and civilization began to take over the wilderness.

Dean followed the signs for the hospital, then the sign for the emergency entrance. He parked in the first spot available, not caring that a sign proclaimed it reserved for clergy.

Logan saw the sign and dug through the glove box. She produced a card proclaiming them ministers of some denomination or another, hooked it over the rearview mirror and exited the car behind Dean. He was almost to the entrance by the time she had locked her door and grabbed her bag.

Dean cursed as the electric doors hesitated and then he rushed inside to the desk where several people sat. The waiting room was crowded with the injured, sick and bored, setting Dean's already fragile nerves on edge. He shouldered his way past a mother with a snot nosed kid and a skier favoring his left arm to get to the front of the line.

"Sam Windsor? He was brought in by helicopter." Dean watched the woman look up at him.

"Are you a relative?" The woman's eyebrow shot up and her eyes drifted over a clipboard on the desk in front of her.

"I'm his brother." Dean drummed his fingers on the counter and glanced rapidly around the room, craning his neck to try to look past the locked doors and into the treatment area.

"He's in CT at the moment. Dr. Cooper is overseeing his treatment." She handed him a clipboard. "I need you to fill out this paperwork and I need a copy of his insurance card."

Dean glared, opened his mouth and growled.

The woman behind the desk suddenly looked scared and her hand went to the phone, probably to call security.

Dean was about to say something when Logan arrived at his side.

Logan sidled up to Dean and wrapped an arm around his waist. "Thank you, my husband is very worried about his brother, they're very close. Is there a waiting area for families, someplace quieter, maybe a chapel where we can pray?" Logan felt Dean tense at her side, but he stayed quiet.

"Oh, yes, there's a waiting area outside radiology." The woman hit the buzzer and motioned them through the door. She met them on the other side and pointed down the hall and to the right. "Just bring me the paperwork when you've finished with it. Do you have an insurance card?"

Dean glared, but yanked out his wallet and fished through the multitude of cards stashed in its depths. He found the one with Samuel Windsor printed across the top and handed it to the woman before stalking off down the hall.

Logan was just behind him. They found the little alcove labeled "Waiting" with its five little couches, TV and coffee machine. Dean paced as Logan sat to fill in the paper work.

She made it through name, birth date, age, even address, since it didn't matter what she wrote. She used the address she lived at before her parents died. "Does Sam have any allergies? Does he take any medications, other than those vitamins he's always popping? Any medical problems, problems with previous surgeries or anesthesia?"

Dean continued his pacing. "No, no, no, he doesn't do well with general anesthesia takes him forever to wake up, but other than that, no."

Dean paced and Logan checked the appropriate boxes, wrote a few things in and then flipped the page. "You are next of kin, I'll list myself as a second emergency contact…" Logan wrote, "Does Sam have a living will, durable power of attorney for healthcare or do not resuscitate order?"

Dean stopped moving, turned and glared. "What?"

"Living will, durable power of attorney for healthcare or do not resuscitate order?" Logan repeated as she watched Dean's face.

"No, and we aren't thinking he's going to need any of them either." Dean took a step and then looked back at Logan. "You couldn't have just checked no?"

Logan shook her head, "Sorry, thought maybe you guys had done a little planning ahea…" Logan's voice trailed off as she realized what she was saying. She focused on the paper. "Sorry…"

Dean crossed the room and stood over Logan. He glared down at her. "What? You forget I don't have anything to plan for? No future. Shit, there isn't even a next year. What the hell do I have to plan ahead for?" He pushed a shaky hand through his hair. "If Sam doesn't…" Dean stopped as emotion overwhelmed him.

Logan stood, dropping the clipboard onto her seat. She pulled Dean into her arms, hugging him tightly. "Sam's strong and he'll fight hard. Don't think that way. You can't." Logan cried into Dean's chest. When his arms finally found their way around her, she sobbed. "He has to be okay…he has to."

Dean clung to Logan desperately, "What if I traded myself for nothing…" Dean shook his head and wiped at his eyes, "Sam's strong, and he'll pull through. Shit, I hate not knowing."

Logan nodded against Dean's chest, "Me too."

They stood there until someone cleared their throat behind them. Dean raised his head, but kept Logan in his arms.

"Mr. Windsor?" A thin man with glasses wearing blue scrubs and a white lab coat stood at the edge of the waiting area.

Dean straightened and let Logan pull herself from his arms. He felt her arm slide around his waist and he pulled her close to his side. "Yeah."

The man moved forward, hand held out. "I'm Doctor Cooper. I'm taking care of Samuel."

Dean took the man's hand. "I'm Dean, Sam's brother. How is he? Can we see him?"

Dr. Cooper shook his head. "Mr…"

Dean interrupted, "Dean, please."

Dr. Cooper nodded and began again, "Dean, your brother in currently unconscious and we are augmenting it with medication to keep him sedated. The accident fractured his skull right about here." The doctor placed his fingers a few inches above his temple area. "The shearing force of the accident and the fracture caused an epidural hematoma, a collection of blood above the membrane of the brain. It's causing swelling and pressure on the brain. If we don't do surgery soon it could cause permanent damage. We need to reduce the pressure by drilling a small hole in your brother's skull to allow us to remove the blood that's causing the pressure." Dr. Cooper cleared his throat, giving the couple a second or two to process what he'd said. "He also has several broken ribs, a hemopneumothorax, which is a collection of blood and air inside the chest cavity. We've already placed a chest tube to remove the air and blood and to keep the lung inflated."

Dr. Cooper watched the tension coil in the taller man, watched as he pulled the woman beside him closer. "Your brother also has some damage to his right shoulder and knee. They don't appear to be broken, but there may be tendon and ligament damage to both and I'm pretty sure his right wrist is broken. However, right now our main concern is the head trauma. The increased pressure on his brain is causing his breathing and heart rate to slow to dangerous levels. We have him on medication to help with the swelling as well as medication to prevent seizures." The doctor held a clipboard out to Dean. "As Samuel's next of kin, I need your consent to do the surgery."

Dean didn't move, but Logan reached for the clipboard and handed Dean the pen. After a few seconds, Dean moved his hand to the clipboard and slashed his signature across the line.

Logan handed the clipboard back to the doctor. "Is there a way for us to see Sam before he goes into surgery?"

Dr. Cooper hesitated. "Under the circumstances, I'll give you five minutes." The doctor turned, "Follow me."

Logan gripped Dean's hand and pulled him with her as they followed the doctor up the hall and into one of the trauma bays. The first thing she noticed was Kate, standing by Sam's left side, his hand gripped tightly in her own as tears streamed down her face.

Kate didn't hear them enter the room as she prayed. Reciting every healing prayer she ever remembered her grandmother teaching her. She brought Sam's hand to her lips and kissed it, her voice low as she lowered her mouth to Sam's ear. "You will be fine, Samuel Winchester. You have to be. You promised you'd come anytime I needed you. I'm holding you to that promise."

Logan let her tears fall as she watched the other woman press a kiss to Sam's forehead.

"Damn it, I'm tired of people I care about getting hurt…" Kate's voice was angry, "I'm not about to lose anyone else I love…" Kate began to sob, "I need you wake up after surgery, I need you to smile at me and recognize me. Do you hear me, Sam?" Kate wiped at her eyes and then brushed a bloody lock of hair from Sam's eyes. Her voice dropped to a whisper, barely audible over the machines in the room. "Damn you for being so easy to fall for."

Logan moved from Dean's side and crossed the small room to pull the other woman into her arms.

Kate sagged against her, crying. She hadn't been able to be upset until she'd finished her work. She'd done her job well, pushed her fear and concern aside. Made sure the weather was clear enough to fly, ran through her preflight checklists. She helped Ryan load Sam into the chopper and secure him, even while refusing to dwell on his injuries or the fact that Ryan was worried about his heart rate. She flew safely, she landed, and she helped with the report. She'd even called Dean while still holding it together. Then when they rushed Sam to the CT room, she'd fallen apart. She'd gone into the woman's locker room and lost it.

Ryan followed her, ignoring glares from several women as he glanced down the rows of lockers until he located Kate on a bench along the wall, sobbing quietly. He sat with her, held her and told her all the right things. She appreciated it and then she sent him to the cafeteria to get them breakfast.

After splashing water on her face, she left the room and waited for Sam to return. When he did she took up her vigil at his side and waited for Dean and Logan.

Dean didn't waste time watching the girls. He stepped up to his brother's bedside and took his hand. "Sammy, you're gonna do fine. The docs are gonna do their job and then you're gonna wake up and be the pain in my ass you always are." Dean swallowed the lump in his throat and wiped at the tears on his cheeks. He chuckled, "Hell I'll even let you pick the music, but you gotta stay strong man." Dean bent his head, rested his forehead lightly against his brother's. "'Sides, if you don't wake up Dad's just gonna torture me for all eternity. Help me out with that will ya little brother?"

Dr. Cooper and several other doctors came into the room.

"We need to go. The neurosurgeon is ready." Dr. Cooper and the army of medical people began to move tubes and wires, unplugging this and that.

Dean lifted his head and glared at the man.

The doctor completely ignored the black look on Dean's face and continued his work.

Dean turned back to Sam and lowered his head to his brother's ear. "You listen to me Sam. You fight, you survive and that is a damn order. You understand me? So stop being a bitch and kick some ass." Dean's eyes shot to the others in the room and then he pressed a kiss to Sam's forehead and stood as two nurses or doctors or some other hospital employees dressed in blue scrubs pushed the bed out of the room.

Logan bent to kiss Sam's cheek as they wheeled him past. "Stay strong, Sam. We love you."

A flurry of activity and people went by them, all heading toward the elevators that led to the operating suites. Sam's cot paused at the elevator. The door opened and they watched as the doctor and a nurse pushed Sam inside.

"Shit, we've lost his pulse…damn it, start CPR!"

Dean rushed up the hallway, just as the elevator doors slid shut.

_**Note:** Yeah, I know...again with the evil cliffhanger, sorry. It's just where the chapter wanted to end. First, thanks to everyone who reviewed...I love you all :) Also, thanks to those of you who favorited my story and added me to their alerts, I appreciate that too. Now, of course is where I humbly ask for your comments...if you feel so inclined, let me know what you thought. Reviews make my muse so happy!_


	73. A Grown Up Relationship

Right after the elevator doors slid shut Dean's fist slammed into the stainless steel of the door with a loud string of cursing, and then he left the hospital, out into the cold.

Logan followed, caught up with him in the middle of the parking lot and placed a hand on his arm. "Dean…"

Dean spun, flung her hand off and glared down at her. "Leave me the hell alone." His voice was low, dark and threatening. His eyes said more than his words.

Logan swallowed her own emotion. Worry and fear for Sam mixed with hurt, anger and even concern for the man standing before her. The tears, that never truly disappeared, burned in her eyes. She understood his anger, his despair, but she really didn't appreciate the attitude. She glared back at him, her hands fisting at her side, the desire to hit him pressing her close to violence. She shook with emotion, bit back a sob and then gave in. She brought back her fist, telegraphing her move, wanting Dean to see it coming, to stop her.

Dean dodged at the last second, letting Logan's momentum carry her forward and then he slid his leg out, to swipe her feet out from under her and watched her tumble roughly onto the wet blacktop. He turned and waited for her to recover.

Logan's palm stung from scraping against the ground, her knee was sore where it slammed into the concrete parking divider and tears of frustration poured down her cheeks. She pushed herself back to her feet and spun to face Dean, pissed that he hadn't given her the pleasure of contact. She panted, pushed her hair from her face, wiping her tears at the same time and then settled herself into a fighting stance.

Dean watched with satisfaction. Sparring with Logan was good. It kept his mind occupied, burned off excess energy, but the middle of the hospital parking lot as daylight began to lighten the sky was pushing the boundaries of common sense. The police were likely to get called and that wouldn't be good for any of them. He crossed his arms over his chest and watched her struggle. He knew what she was feeling, knew he was being a total and complete dick, but he didn't know how else to respond. Part of him wanted to kill something, tear it into pieces and then salt and burn it for good measure, while another part of him wanted to curl into a ball and cry and beg and deal with the higher powers.

Logan watched as Dean watched her. She saw the stubborn set of his jaw and that steely look in his eyes and she moved forward, this time feigning a right hook, but landing a sharp jab in the kidney.

Dean exhaled with a tense grunt and pulled into himself entirely missing the fist that landed squarely on his left temple. He staggered, the punch wasn't the strongest, but she'd placed it well and he felt his vision tunnel and he took a few deeps breaths to steady himself. He saw Logan's foot head for his knee and he moved, slid back and behind her with an easy shove.

Logan stumbled, wiped at the tears in her eyes and then spun. Dean wasn't retaliating, simply avoiding her and now that he knew she meant business he watched her warily, legs set wide, shoulders dropped in what appeared to be a relaxed stance, but was anything but. She moved forward, half a step and waited for her opening, but Dean had tightened his defense; he wasn't going to make it easy.

Logan ground her teeth in frustration, and tasted blood where she bit her tongue. She angrily pushed her hair from her face and then tossing caution to the wind she rushed forward with a growl.

She'd gone half a step when someone grabbed her from behind and she was pulled against a chest. She fought the hold, but stopped when she heard her name.

"Logan girl, calm down…damn it, you're pissed off, but kicking that idjit's ass ain't gonna do anyone any good." Bobby glared at Dean and shook his head.

Dean shrugged, thrust his hands into the pockets of his leather coat and then walked away.

Bobby loosened his hold on his niece. When she turned and started toward the retreating hunter, he grabbed her arm. "Let him go, Logan. He needs to work through this on his own terms." Bobby tugged her closer and slid his arm over her shoulder to hug her against his side. "Come on. You need to tell me what's going on and it's damn cold out here."

Logan resisted for a few more seconds, turned and watched as Dean continued his angry walk through the parking lot, away from Sam, away from her and she felt her heart stutter and her chest tighten with emotion. She sniffed, wiped her face on her sleeve and then nodded. "Fine…" her voice was hoarse from her tears, "…why's he have to be such a bastard." She turned as Bobby started moving, his arm still over her shoulder and she let herself be led back into the hospital. "Oh, god, Bobby…Sam…" Logan's voice broke.

Bobby clucked beside her like the mother hen Dean said he could be, "Shh, that boy's more stubborn than his older brother and way more stubborn than his daddy ever was and John Winchester was one of the most stubborn men I ever knew. He ain't gonna die, even if it's just so he can continue to torture that brother of his. Come one, let's see if we can get some information and some coffee."

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Dean walked. He fought with himself. He was pissed. He was pissed that he hadn't been able to save Sam that night in Cold Oak, pissed that he'd let Logan get to him, pissed that Sam was…fuck, Sam could be dead. That thought made him stop as the reality of Sam's condition hit him once again like a bullet to the chest; Sam, dead.

Dean fell to his knees, in the little strip of snow covered grass beside the parking lot and let the tears fall freely. Sam. Without Sam, there was no Dean. He was more than the other half of who Dean was, he was the reason for Dean's existence. Dean understood that. He knew his little brother didn't need him the same way. Sam without Dean was still Sam, but Dean without Sam wasn't anything. He'd felt that from the time their mother died. Over and over and over again, Dad had reinforced that. Keep your brother safe, help your brother, watch your brother…Sam was Dean's heart, his compass, the only thing that he had left of his family.

Dean sobbed, he punched, and his fists pounded into the snow until his hands were numb. The pure white snow now streaked with blood from Dean's mangled knuckles. Dean continued to land punches into the packed snow, felt the pain and cold throb through his hands and up his arms. He let the tears fall, until there wasn't a tear left. He screamed into the cold air, anger, grief and pain swelling in a heartbreaking symphony that left his throat as raw as his knuckles.

Time passed and the sun rose and Dean began to shiver as the cold sank into his bones. He felt a hand on his shoulder and then under his arm, tugging him to his feet. He smelled coffee and he finally stood. He was expecting Logan, Bobby or maybe even Kate, but when he lifted his eyes, he faced a stranger.

Dean blinked at the man and accepted the coffee that the man pressed into his hand. The stranger didn't speak and Dean found a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He allowed himself be led back toward the hospital.

Dean kept his eyes on the ground, sipped the coffee and pulled the blanket closer. He swallowed and cleared his throat, "Who…" Dean swallowed against the hoarseness in his throat, "…who are you?"

The man smiled. "My name's Greg. I'm one of the hospital chaplains."

Dean paused and looked up at the man. He looked about thirty-five, maybe forty, he wore a pair of well-worn jeans and an old Black Sabbath concert t-shirt over a long sleeved thermal. Greg wore several earrings in both ears, a large gauge plug through the lobe of his left. A silver bar went through one eyebrow and tattoos were visible just above the collar of his shirts and on one forearm.

Dean snorted. "Chaplain?"

Greg nodded and continued to walk toward the hospital, compelling Dean to follow. "Yes, I'm a chaplain." He smirked as Dean caught up, "What you expecting a black shirt and collar or maybe a three piece suit and tie?"

Dean sipped his coffee carefully and then nodded. "Actually, yes."

Greg shook his head, "I get that a lot."

"I bet." Dean motioned to the shirt. "You recruiting for the Church of Satan or something?"

"I get that a lot, too." Greg waved his ID badge across a panel on the wall and a door marked, "Employees Only" slid open. "Come on, it's effing cold out here." Greg held the door and let Dean enter ahead of him. He stomped snow from his boots and then moved past Dean. "Really, I'm just a minister, no ulterior motive. I pastor a smaller non-denominational congregation. I happen to like the old stuff, so sue me."

"Um, you mind telling me where we're going?" Dean asked as they moved through hospital corridors until they finally stood in front of an elevator.

Greg pressed the up button and leaned against the wall. "You still cold?"

Dean raised an eyebrow.

"The blanket's giving you that refuge look." He held his hands up. "I mean if that's what you're going for, fine, but you look a little too cool for the whole wayward son thing."

Dean shot the man a short glare, but pulled the blanket from his shoulders and tossed it to him. He watched as Greg crossed the hall and dumped the blanket into a hamper marked "Linen".

The elevator door opened and Greg motioned Dean to enter, and then followed in behind him. He pressed the button for the third floor.

Dean sighed, defeat in his voice. "You know, I appreciate the coffee and what you might call the rescue, but my brother is…shit, I don't even know if my brother's alive right now."

Greg put a hand on his shoulder, "Faith, man. You gotta have a little bit, right?"

Dean eyed the man, totally confused by a Black Sabbath liking, tattoo sporting, and pierced minister. "I don't know what to have faith in anymore."

"God, family, friends, love, strangers, oh, hell even yourself…you can have faith in anything, it's the actual act of faith that's important. Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we don't see. It's not mystical or mysterious. All you have to do is believe."

Dean's eyebrow shot up at the man's use of language. One more thing to add to the list of why this man was the strangest minister he'd ever met.

Greg shook his head, "What the 'hell' throw you?" He chuckled, "I say shit and damn, too."

"Weird man, you're just weird."

Greg nodded and smiled, "You know, God loves the outcasts."

The elevator stopped on the third floor and a light flashed, indicating that the floor was "key access only". Dean watched as Greg pulled a key chain from his pocket and slid it into the slot. He turned it and pushed the door open button.

Greg motioned for Dean to exit and followed him out, pointing to the left. "Kate sent me to find you, so don't start thinking it was divine intervention or anything." Greg watched Dean from the corner of his eye. "She's worried about you and she's worried about your brother. She asked me to pray for you both and I have, but I want to make sure it's okay with you if I continue."

Dean shrugged. "Can't hurt."

Greg chuckled, "No, it can't hurt."

"Where are we going?"

"Your brother's in surgery."

Greg watched Dean's shoulders droop with relief and he put his hand back on the younger man's shoulder and squeezed. "Kate said he was strong…she has faith in him, maybe you should to?"

Dean nodded and wiped a hand over his face.

"Anyway, we're going to sit in the chapel outside of the surgical ICU. That way, when he's out of recovery you'll be right there to see him."

The hallway opened up into a large area. Nurses and visitors buzzed through the space and down the corridors. Greg took a right turn, following the signs marked SICU, and then on past several glass-enclosed cubicles that could hardly be called rooms, past a nurses' station and then more rooms, to a small alcove in the back.

He pushed open the door to reveal two rows of four pews each. Electric candles lined a wall in the back and a large cross, flanked by backlit stained-glass panels, held a prominent place in the front of the room.

Kate was kneeling in the first pew, while Bobby and Logan sat huddled quietly in the back. Everyone turned when the door opened.

Bobby stood, a large smile spreading across his face as he moved toward the two men.

"Gregory Walsh, is that you?"

Greg moved around Dean and took the old hunter's hand. "Shit, Bobby Singer, how long has it been?" He motioned to Dean, "This one with you?"

Bobby nodded. "You remember Johnny Winchester, right?"

"What's old John up to?"

Bobby frowned, "Thought you might've heard…John's gone."

Greg's face dropped, "I'm sorry to hear that, he was a good man and one of the best hunters I ever worked with."

Dean's jaw dropped. "You're a hunter?"

Greg swung his gaze to Dean, "Was…don't hunt too much anymore, not since…" Greg's eyes took on a far-a-way look then he cleared his throat, "…well not for awhile now, but on occasion I still help out."

Bobby motioned to Dean, "That there is John's oldest, Dean. The one in surgery is Sam." Bobby glanced over his shoulder to where Logan still sat, slumped uncomfortably in the pew, staring strait ahead. "That one over there is my niece. Don't think you ever met my sister, Amanda, but you mighta' met my brother in law, Owen McCree?"

Greg's eyebrows pulled together and his lips thinned into a harsh line, adding years to his face. "Never did care for that man, he was reckless."

Bobby nodded, "My niece, thankfully, doesn't take after him. She's been hunting with John's boys, well until Sam got himself hit by an ordinary car that is."

The minister shook his head, "Mysterious ways, old man, mysterious ways, I try not to question the reasons behind the things that happen. Not our job." Greg glanced at Dean. "Our reactions to the situations we're placed in, now those we can question, learn from and grow through. That's our job; do the best with the crap that is this life and come out on the other side as better for having lived through it."

Dean shoved his empty hand in his pocket and pouted like a teenager.

Bobby rolled his eyes and motioned to Greg. "I think we need to get some fresh coffee." He turned toward the front of the room. "Kate, you wanna come with us to get some coffee?"

Dean watched as she crossed herself and stood.

Kate nodded. "I need to fly the chopper back. I really can't leave it outside much longer, it's on the pad."

Dean pulled her car keys from his pocket, and tossed them to Kate. "Have Ryan drive and then you can bring your truck back."

Kate nodded, took the keys and then went to say something to Logan. The women hugged and then Kate left behind Bobby and Greg.

Dean stood where he was staring silently at the floor. Logan's voice interrupted his brooding.

"You done being a dick?"

Dean lifted his head and glared. He took a step toward her.

"What? You gonna tell me you weren't being a dick?"

Dean shook his head, "No. You're right, but you've known that since you've met me."

Logan stood and moved toward him. "Fair enough, I've known it, but we weren't sleeping together then were we?"

Dean snorted. "What the hell does that change?"

Logan felt as if she'd been slapped and she cursed the tears she felt in her eyes. "Obviously it changes absolutely nothing." Logan headed for the door. Suddenly needing to be anywhere else, but where she currently stood.

Dean caught her arm, "Logan…I…" He looked down at her face, at the pain he saw glaring at him from her eyes. He knew that look. That - you're breaking my heart - look. "I told you I wasn't good at relationships. I told you I wasn't promising anything. You knew where I stood."

Logan yanked her arm from his grasp. She straightened to her full height and faced him while she nodded. "Yeah, you told me all that. I know…I know…I fucking know." Logan's voice raised half an octave and a few decibels. "I don't want you to get down on your knees and propose. Hell, I don't even expect you to say, 'I love you' and mean it." Logan swiped hair from her face. "But, I do expect you to treat me like you care. Damn it Winchester, you keep acting like I'm your enemy." Logan paused, took a deep breath.

"Just a little, that's all I'm asking for, just let me in a little bit. I'm fucking hurting and you don't give a damn. You're hurting and you won't let me help." Logan stopped, too worn out to cry, she stood facing Dean, hands on her hips and breathing hard.

Dean's shoulders drooped. He knew she was right. It wasn't fair to lock her out, she was hurting too and he knew it wasn't right to lock himself away. Sam always bitched about it too. He took a deep breath. "I don't know what you want from me."

Logan dropped her hands to her side. "I don't want anything _from _you, Dean…I just want _you_." Logan stepped forward, placed her hand on Dean's cheek. "You're such a jackass."

Dean covered her hand with his. "I just don't know how to do this. It's hard for me, it's uncomfortable and I don't like it."

"It's not supposed to be easy, or comfortable…shit, there's plenty I don't like about it either." Logan closed the gap between them and sighed when Dean's arms went around her. She snuggled against his chest and was surprised when she felt tears on her cheeks, soaking into the cotton of his shirt. "A grown up relationship, Dean…you know it does mean growing up, at least a little bit."

Dean rested his chin on the top of Logan's head. He grunted. "Still don't like it…"

Logan smiled and rolled her eyes. She felt Dean's lips press into her hair and then move to her ear.

"I'm sorry…I'm just so scared. I mean if Sam doesn't make it, my deal was worthless."

Logan tilted her face toward him. "I'm terrified. I don't want to lose Sam, Dean. I meant it when I said he was like a brother. I love him and it would break my heart if he..." Her voice stalled, as emotion welled in her throat.

Dean's hands framed Logan's face as he brushed hair from her face, tucking a few strands behind her ears. He nodded. "I know." He bent and kissed her forehead and then pulled her against him again, clinging.

"Just don't push me away, Dean…it hurts when you lock me out." Logan's voice was small against his chest.

"I'll try harder…I promise."

The door opened and Greg poked his head inside. "Chris, the recovery room nurse just came out and told me they're getting ready to move Sam into recovery. He wanted to know if you would like to visit him there, or wait until he got to his room?"

"Now…" Both Dean and Logan answered at the same time.

Greg smiled and nodded. "Chris told me to tell you that he'll send someone in to find you. You should know, he's doing me a favor. Families aren't usually allowed into recovery. Oh, and he said that from what he's heard, surgery went well." He flashed them both a big smile. "Bobby and I are going to get something to eat. We'll be back in half an hour or so." The door closed and Greg was gone.

_**Note: **Again, thanks to everyone for reading and for the reviews, as well as for the alerts and favorite adds. I appreciate them all. You know I'm going to ask, so I won't disappoint. Let me know what you thought - Feed my muse :)_


	74. Carve the Future According to Our Will

_A little while later..._

"I'm looking for the family of Samuel Windsor."

Logan stood and Dean moved forward from where he was leaning against the wall.

"I'm his brother, Dean."

The woman, in her early fifties and wearing dark blue scurbs, nodded. "I'm Carol, one of the nurses. Chris from recovery asked me to get you, but only family can come back." She smiled and glanced to Logan.

Dean cleared his throat and was about to answer when Logan interrupted.

"I'm Dean's wife."

Carol nodded. "Then why don't you both follow me." She held the door and waited for them to join her. Once they were in the hall, she began to speak. "Dr. Sullivan, the neurosurgeon, said he'd be in to speak with you once Samuel gets back to the ICU." She glanced over her shoulder. "I'll be taking care of him today."

"Sam." Dean's voice was quiet.

Carol paused and turned, "Excuse me?"

"My brother, he goes by Sam."

Carol nodded. "It's good to know, especially with a head injury. Using familiar names helps." She pushed a button on the wall and a door swung open. "Your brother's in bed twelve."

Dean and Logan followed as the woman moved briskly down the small corridor, past curtained beds, some empty, some occupied until they stood in front of Sam's bed. A man about Dean's age stood by Sam's bed adjusting IV tubing.

"Chris." Carol said softly and waited for Chris to look up from his task. When he did, she continued. "This is Sam's brother Dean and Dean's wife."

Chris looked up and smiled, dropping the IV tubing he held out his hand. "I'm Chris. Sam's my patient right now." He nodded to Carol.

Carol gripped Logan's hand and whispered, "We'll take good care of him." Then she was gone.

Dean took the man's hand, gripped it firmly and nodded.

Chris held his hand out for Logan, "Carol didn't mention your name."

Logan shook Chris's hand and gave him a small smile, "Logan."

Chris dropped his hand and pulled a PDA from his pocket. He slid the stylus out of its holder and began entering information as he spoke. "Dr. Sullivan says your brother's bleed was more extensive than they thought, but they got to it in time." He glanced up from his screen and flashed a quick smile. "They also did an exploratory lap to locate the bleeding in his belly. They found a small liver laceration and sutured it up."

Chris looked up at the monitor over Sam's bed and then tapped on the screen of his computer before sliding it back into his pocket. He then moved over to Sam, leaned close to his head and then glanced at Dean. "He goes by Sam?"

Dean nodded.

Chris watched a small gauge above the bed as he moved Sam's head to the side to check the bandage for bleeding. He pointed to it. "That tells us how high the pressure is inside of Sam's skull, we call that the intracranial pressure." He smiled as he glanced at Dean and Logan. "Or as we abbreviation happy medical types say his ICP. It's been in the high normal range while he's been with me." He paused and checked the bandages on Sam's belly. "But we're going to have to watch it. Keep Sam's bed at about a thirty degree angle, make sure his blood pressure stays stable and Dr. Sullivan will probably start him on tube feedings to make sure he heals well."

Dean and Logan watched as Chris pulled Sam's eyes open and peered into first one, then the other, with a pen light. Then he continued with his assessment and his talk. "So far, Sam's doing great, but he won't regain consciousness for awhile. We have him on medication to prevent seizures and he's in a drug induced coma." He straightened, stood and stretched a bit. "We want to give his body time to find a balance before we start adding stimulation. He'll be on the ventilator until we know he's awake and breathing on his own. He's also on antibiotics to prevent infection, which is especially important because a fever can spike his ICP."

Chris moved from Sam's side and caught Dean's eyes. "I know he looks bad, but he's doing really well."

Logan wiped a few tears from her cheek, "Is it okay to talk to him?"

Chris nodded. "Just keep it quiet and calm. Can I get you two some coffee or tea?"

Dean moved to Sam's side and put his hand tentatively on Sam's arm.

Logan nodded, "We'd appreciate it; tea for me and black coffee for Dean."

The nurse nodded and then ducked out of the curtain.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

_Two days later…_

Kate smiled as she entered Sam's room. She watched as Dean snored softly with his head resting at an uncomfortable angle between the back of the chair and his chest. He had his leather jacket over him like a blanket and his feet up on a small trashcan. She set the bag of fast food breakfast on the small table near the foot of the bed and then eased the two large coffees beside it.

Leaving Dean sleep, she moved past him to Sam's bedside. He was pale on the white pillowcase. The breathing tube was pulling his lip to the left at a funny angle and there was a feeding tube in his nose. His face was a mosaic of scratches, bruises and tape. She eyed the monitors above his bed, listened to the steady beep-beep-beep sound of the machines and finally let her hand drift to his face.

She pushed a small bit of hair from his forehead and bent to kiss the seemingly only spot on his face not covered with some medical necessity or injury, and then she whispered softly in his ear, "Today Sam. You are going to wake up today."

She straightened and pulled the other chair in the room to Sam's bedside.

Dean grumbled at the sound of metal scraping across the floor and then his feet slipped from the trashcan, knocking it over. He startled and found himself half in half out of his chair. Glancing around the room, he pulled himself back into his chair. Catching sight of Kate, he frowned. "What time is it?"

Kate pointed to the bag and coffee at the end of Sam's bed. "Six. There's coffee and breakfast."

Dean gave her a small smile and stretched before standing. He ran a hand over his face, absently scratching at his two-day beard before he grabbed a coffee and flipped back the little opening to inhale deeply. He sighed and then took a long sip. "Thanks." He pointed out the door. "Be back in a few."

Kate nodded and watched Dean walk, a little stiffly, toward the family waiting area where the bathrooms were located, before returning her gaze to Sam. She watched his chest rise and fall as the machine beside him cycled. A noise made her look up and one of the nurses, Marcia, entered the room.

The young nurse smiled, "Hey Kate. He's been doing good, no episodes of increased ICP during the night, so Dr. Sullivan should order the sedation lowered and then we'll see how he does." Marcia glanced around the room, "Where's that sexy brother of his?" She winked at Kate.

"You know he's kinda, um married right?" The lie did not set quite right with her.

Marcia blushed, "A girl can hope can't she?" She sighed, "'Sides, he flirts. You sure he's happy with that Logan chick?" She came into the room, shaking a small medication bag as she did. She looked over her patient as she reached up and pulled an empty bag from the IV pole then she traded it out for the one in her hand. Lowering the bag, she let the tubing backfill, purging it of air before hanging it back up on the pole.

Kate watched and nodded. "Yes, I'm sure and she'd kick your skinny butt for even thinking about it." She smiled as Marcia changed the infusion rate on the IV pump and then pulled a stethoscope from her pocket and bent over Sam's chest to listen to his lungs.

Kate sat quietly as Marcia finished her examination of Sam's motionless body.

"He's starting to respond to pain, even with the sedation, so that's good and his pupils are reactive, even if they are a bit sluggish." Marcia put her stethoscope back into her pocket and covered Sam back up. "I was going to call one of the aides in to help me bathe him…" Marcia left the question unasked.

Kate shook her head, "I'll do it and if I need help Dean'll be here."

Marcia smiled. "There are warm bath packs by the nurses station, just ask for them when you're ready." She looked down at Sam and then to Kate. "I know you'll be careful of all his tubes and wires, but I swear you better not dislodge them or I'll force you to go to that karaoke bar with me and sing a duet."

Kate grinned. "Funny and it'll never happen."

Marcia headed toward the door, "Dr. Sullivan should be in before eight and Sam's my patient all day so, I'll see you in no more than a couple of hours." She moved out the door, almost running into Dean. She flashed him a wide smile and then moved to her next patient.

Dean pulled the bag from the table and pulled out a bagel filled with bacon, egg and cheese. He smiled when he bit into it and tasted the jalapeño peppers on it. "Bonus points Ross."

She smiled at him. "I live to please, Winchester."

"Who's Swammy's nwurse this morn'n?" Dean asked around, what might have been half his sandwich. "Swhe's kinda hot."

Kate chuckled, stood and pulled the bag and coffee toward her. "That one's Marcia. We graduated together. She's a good nurse." She blew into her coffee and then sipped hesitantly at it. "She thinks you're hot too."

Kate rolled her eyes as Dean's ego swelled.

"Still got it." He winked at Kate and shoved the last of his sandwich into his mouth.

"Newsflash. Logan will be here soon and then what?" Kate picked up the bagel and cream cheese she bought herself and took a bite. She chewed thoughtfully. "What's going on with the two of you anyway?"

Dean sighed and slumped into his chair. He ran a hand through his hair. "Wish I knew." He shrugged. "She wants something I don't think I can give her. I told her when we started this that I couldn't promise anything."

Kate sipped her coffee and watched the man, "You know she's probably in love with you, right?"

Dean nodded. "Yeah, and that's exactly why I didn't want to start anything with her. It's not like I don't care about her, but I mean, I've only got a few months left and I just don't have the energy…"

His words trailed off and silence spread through the room. It wasn't uncomfortable and he was thankful for that. He watched Sam, watched Kate with Sam and he liked what he saw. "You're good for him." His voice was quiet and soft, almost a whisper.

Kate lifted her eyes to him and smiled, eyes drifting back to Sam. "I hope he feels the same way." She trailed a finger down Sam's cheek. She glanced quickly to Dean, her voice thick in her throat. "I don't want you to leave…either of you."

Dean leaned forward in his chair; elbows braced on knees and dropped his head into his hands, "Figures."

"Huh?"

He lifted his head enough to see Kate's eyes, "That Sam would find someone that could make him happy. Someone to remind him about life, about living, just as I'm getting ready to check out…I won't be able to see him happy." A shimmer of tears were in his eyes. "Promise me you'll try to make him happy?"

Kate nodded, cleared her throat, "I want to."

He sank back into the chair, sipped his coffee and then let his eyes slip closed. "That's good enough."

Kate swallowed, swung her eyes to the man in the bed and gripped his hand. Her words and echo of the ones he whispered into her hair the day before. "I hope it's enough…I really do."

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

There was a pleasant buzzing in his body. A soft vibration ran through his veins. Sounds filtered through the thick fog floating his brain, occasionally a sliver of pain pierced through the pleasant, fuzzy, floating feeling and then he tasted it, heard his voice again.

"_Sammy, you're disappointing me, boy. Come on, you're better than this, stronger."_

Sam shook his head and gagged against the blood. The blood he felt just under the surface. The blood that sang to him, called to him. He heard it begging him, its seductive voice whispering constantly.

"_Reach for it Sammy. You can do it. Don't go and waste of all my planning."_

Sam gagged and reached for the darkness, the warmth that wanted to drag him back under. He wasn't evil, wasn't part of what he was raised to fight. He wasn't about to let Azazel win.

"_Me win? Sam, this isn't about me. It's about you. You were always my favorite. Come on. Reach for it, Sammy-boy…you can do it."_

He gagged again, coughed against the pressure in his chest, fought the air forced into his lungs and then struggled with the inability to take his next breath. He felt tears in his eyes, his body and head throbbing in concert with his heart and as he gagged, he reached for the thing in his throat.

Voices and other sounds filtered through the darkness. Some he recognized, others were foreign and the words were often confusing. Something pressed against his hand, pushed it from his mouth. He gagged against the blockage in his throat and then everything was black again.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Later that evening, Dr. Sullivan straitened from his examination of Sam. He faced the three people in the room.

"Sam should be waking up soon. The signs were good earlier, but as I told you; head injuries are tricky and some patients just don't follow the rules." He looked down at Sam, picked up his hand and applied pressure to the nail of his index finger. Sam pulled his hand away and grimaced against the tube in his throat.

"He's reacting to pain; his pupils are equal and reactive." He pointed to the ICP monitor. "His ICP hasn't been above 14 all day, even when he was coughing and fighting the vent." He gently placed Sam's hand back on the bed and frowned. "The only thing he won't do is respond by opening his eyes." He caught Dean's eyes. "It could be that your brother is simply resting, it could be that the damage is worse than we thought. The brain is a fickle organ and doesn't always respond the way we think it should. In the morning we'll do an MRI and maybe an EEG if he hasn't woken up."

Kate wiped a tear from her eyes. They'd all been hopeful earlier when Sam had groaned and tried to pull out his tube, but then he just stopped and he hadn't moved since; not even a flicker of his eyelids. She gripped his hand and whispered prayers.

Logan watched, from the doorway. She stood leaning against the frame, sipping from a paper cup filled with strong tea. She saw Kate cry beside Sam's bed, she saw Dean's jaw clench along with his fists. She watched her uncle fidget uneasily in the straight-backed chair under the small window and she tried not to see Sam.

She noticed it earlier, the darkness of his aura. It had made her feel sick in the pit of her stomach as she watched the tendrils of brown and black claw up to curl throughout the red and orange base. The colors began to mix and blur into a murky grayish brown. The darkest part centered over his diaphragm.

The doctor brushed past her and she stepped away from the door to let him pass. She slid into the room. She moved to stand beside Sam's bed and she felt Dean's eyes follow her. An awkwardness had developed between them in the last two days. They'd taken opposite shifts at Sam's bedside. Dean was more withdrawn than usual, which according to Bobby, was normal when Sam was injured, but Logan knew there was something else. She'd caught him smiling with Kate, even joking on occasion, but when she was around he barely spoke.

A bitter smile slid across her face; it hadn't stopped him from stomping into their room and yanking her out of the shower last night. He'd all but thrown her to the bed and proceeded to fuck her. It wasn't making love and she was even hesitant to call it sex. Fucking, plain and simple and she had plenty of experience to know that it was exactly what they'd done. Neither of them had said a word and when he'd finished he pulled her into a frenzied kiss. Then he slid from the bed, pulled on his clothes and offered a simple, "See you in the morning."

Logan cleared her throat and everyone turned to look at her. "I want to try something."

Dean's eyebrows shot up, but Bobby spoke.

"What you have in mind?" He fiddled with the cap in his lap and watched his niece with his head tilted slightly to the side.

"I want to project. See if I can contact Sam and pull him out." She reached a hand over his still body, "He's fighting something," she shrugged, "maybe I can help."

Bobby stared, unsure and slightly scared. "It's dangerous and you've never done it before."

She sighed and pushed her hand through her hair. "I know, Bobby, but I really feel like I should."

Dean moved toward her and when she felt his hand on her arm, she smiled hopefully.

"Look Logan, I don't want you to get hurt, but if you think you can do it and it might help, then I'm all for it."

She stepped away from his hand, closer to Sam's bed. She nodded. "I think I can help him find his way out." Her hand hovered hover Sam's chest. "I can actually see the poison in him." She looked back at Dean, her eyes pale, silvery, blue.

Dean stared, his eyes wide, "You mean you can see what?"

Logan nodded. "I can see what Azazel used to poison him. It's part of what's keeping him unconscious. I think he's fighting it."

"If you can see it, does that mean you can you get rid of it?" He stepped toward her and roughly grabbed her arm.

She tried to shrug him off, but he only tightened his hold. "I don't know. It's become part of who he is. It's wrapped up in his aura, settled deep in his personality." She sighed. "If I do, it might hurt him…" She paused and then settled her eyes on his. She watched, saw, heard. She took a deep breath and swallowed. "If I do it, we might not be able to save you."

Dean's grip tightened to the point of pain. He heard Logan whimper and he ignored it as he pulled her close and bent to her ear. His voice was low, demanding and the words all but growled. "Listen to me. If you can pull the evil that bastard shoved into my brother out, then you do it."

Logan pulled her arm from Dean's hand. A sharp tingle of power passed from her arm into his hand and she almost smiled when he gasped. She squared her shoulders. "Don't tell me what to do. Sam would want the chance to try to save you. I want the chance to save you."

Dean frowned. He was angry. If Logan could make Sam whole again, she needed to do it.

_Save Sam, keep him safe…take care of your little brother_.

Dean felt something on his shoulder, Bobby's hand.

"Calm down boy, and stop staring at Logan like you're gonna drop her here and now." Bobby turned Dean to face him. His voice calm, "She's telling you what she sees, she's telling you what she feels and she's telling you she might not be able to do what you want." He looked over to his niece, caught her eyes and lifted his chin toward her. "She's not saying she won't do it, but what if doing that now does take away our one chance to kill that Lilith bitch and get you out of your deal? If she can do it now, why wouldn't she be able to do it later?"

Dean clenched and unclenched his fists. He whirled toward Logan and then nodded tensely. His eyes slamming into hers, he stared, pushed his emotions and thoughts to her. "Fine, do it your way." He turned, pulled his jacket from the chair and headed toward the door. "I'm going for a walk." Then he was gone.

Logan slowly released the breath she didn't know she was holding then she wiped the tears from her eyes. A shaky breath in and she looked to Kate, "You think we can get them to let us close the door and pull the curtains for a half hour or so? I don't want to be interrupted."

Kate pulled herself from her chair and grabbed Logan's hand. She nodded. "I'll tell them we're going to bathe him and pray." She motioned to the machines. "It should buy us about twenty minutes before they come to check on him."

"It should be enough time, but I've never tried this before." Logan watched Kate exit the room and then glanced to her uncle. "Do you think I'm right?"

Bobby shrugged. "Don't matter what I think. I can't do what you can. You have to make your own mind up." He crossed his arms and watched Logan's face. "Sam deserves a chance at not being tied to that damn demon. He never chose to be chosen."

Logan dropped her eyes and swallowed back the tears. She needed to center herself or things could go wrong. "But Dean deserves a chance too." She breathed deep, shook her arms and calmed her emotions. Her silvery gaze caught Bobby's when she raised her head. "I deserve a chance…"

Bobby shook his head and stepped toward Logan. He lifted her chin with his index finger when she tried to look away. "You knew the odds going into this. I talked to you about things before I even called the boys and asked if they'd be willing to take you on. You told me you understood, you told Dean it didn't matter, but now you want to be selfish."

He motioned behind him toward the door. "And remember, Dean knew what he was doing when he made the stupid deal at the crossroads. He knew when he went there that it would cost him his soul, and he willingly did it for his brother's life." He dropped his hand. "Dean wants Sam alive and well; no matter the cost to himself. I'm not saying I agree with the idjit, but I'm telling you, I know why he wants you to do it."

She nodded and pulled away from Bobby, "But you said I can do it later, after we save Dean. It makes more sense that way, everyone comes out ahead."

"Look at me." Bobby's voice was sharp. When Logan didn't raise her eyes to his he snapped. "Dammit, Logan, I said to fucking look at me."

Logan's eyes snapped to her uncle at his cussing. "What?"

"Don't you dare take that tone with me, girl. You're not too old to be whipped." His voice was angry and gruff, but also gentle. "Don't use my own lie back at me. You and I both know that every time Sam uses that demon power it grows stronger, it's roots get thicker and it not only gets easier to manipulate, but harder to ignore." Bobby grabbed Logan's hand. "You know it's true because your power is working the same way." Bobby shrugged. "We have no way of knowing if you'll be able to do it now, and we both suspect it won't work later. Now's the best time, while the defenses are down and Sam is weak, you might just be able to grab it and rip it out."

Logan threw Bobby's hand off and stared him down. "I'm not doing it Uncle Bobby. I'll pull him out of his darkness, reinforce his mental shields, but I'm not going to destroy the only hope I have of saving Dean." She shook her head. "Later…after we kill Lilith, that's when I'll do it."

Bobby sighed. She was stubborn, as stubborn as her mother, "Your choice." He turned back to his chair. "I only hope you get what you want Logan. I really, really do."

**_Note:_**

_Okay, so I'm getting close to the end of my semester, which means I'm working hard to finish up my big projects and papers. This of course translates into less time for doing the writing I'd rather do, so my updates are getting further apart. I still plan on updating at least weekly, and with luck a couple times a week, but who knows._

_Chapter title is a line from the song, "Imperium Tenebrarum" by Cradle of Filth._

_Thanks to everyone who reviews, favorites, and alerts...they all make me smile. Now, if you wouldn't mind, please leave me a comment or review. My muse can really use them at this point in the semester._


	75. Little Boy Lost

Dean walked down the hallway and stood in front of the elevator. He didn't hit a button, he had no idea where to go, didn't really care actually, he just wanted to move, to think. When the doors opened, he entered, didn't care that it was going up. A woman by the keypad asked which floor and he glanced to the lit numbers, "Already heading there."

She smiled. Dean ignored her. He shoved his hands in his pockets and waited. On the sixth floor, the doors slid open and someone got on. Dean slipped out and walked. The bright paint and balloons indicated it was probably a pediatric floor and when he turned a corner and saw the primary colored mural of kids covering the wall he new he'd been correct.

He wasn't sure he'd get far, visiting hours were over and most nurses were sticklers for rules, but when no one stopped him, he kept walking.

A large round of giggling came from a brightly lit room ahead of him and to the left, where a small number of nurses where standing in the hall watching the room. All of them were smiling and the warmth of the light and children's laughter drew him toward the gathering.

He paused just behind three nurses or nurses aides and peeked into the room. Children of all ages, from toddlers to teens, sat on the floor, in chairs, on parent's laps, and in wheelchairs. Some stood, leaning against the walls, but they were all watching the front of the room where a man was doing magic tricks. A guitar leaned against the chair beside him.

Dean watched as the man, whose back was to him, pulled rainbow scarves from the sleeve of a young boy with a bald head. He kept pulling and the kids smiled and laughed and then he stopped, acted as if it was stuck and then pulled harder. Suddenly, the scarves gave and a pair of extra large boxer shorts covered in yellow rubber ducks slid from the boy's sleeve. The crowd howled, even the teens, though Dean knew it wasn't that funny, he even found himself smiling. The laughter and giggles of the smaller kids was infectious.

Applause filled the room and the magician motioned to his "assistant". The applause grew again and then the man turned to help the boy back to his seat. Dean immediately recognized the weird chaplain, and fellow hunter, Greg. Greg grabbed the guitar and then settled into the chair.

"Okay, it's getting late and your nurses are going to kill me."

A round of groans, moans and, "Come on Pastor Greg…"'s sprung up around the room.

Greg held up a hand, "Yeah, yeah…you guys do this to me every time and really it's past med time and you know Nurse Angie's gonna ban me if we don't wrap it up really soon." He slid the guitar across his knee and absently strummed at the strings. "So, what's the last song going to be?"

The crowd erupted into a frenzy of requests that Dean could barely make out. Thirty kids suddenly screaming over each other had that kind of effect.

Greg laughed and waved his hand. "Okay, okay…I got it." He strummed a few chords on the guitar and the crowd started laughing. Greg smiled and then stood as he sang.

"Well I saw the thing comin' out of the sky. It had the one long horn, one big eye. I commenced to shakin' and I said,"

He pointed to a boy and the kid and the kid supplied the, "ooh-eee"

The he continued, "It looks like a purple people eater to me. It was a one-eyed, one horned, flyin' purple people eater."

The entire room echoed back, "one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater."

The song continued, the kids clapping along and filling in the words when prompted. Even Dean laughed when the entire room responded to the line, "I said Mr. Purple People Eater, don't eat me." With a loud, falsetto of, "I wouldn't eat you cuz your're too tough."

Greg played the room, singing, playing his guitar as he included all the kids in the room. The song ended with him strumming the last line and all the kids yelling. The pastor had a huge smile on his face as he lowered his guitar and quieted the rambunctious room with a whistle. "Alright, that's it for tonight. If you can walk, make sure you help someone who can't. No running and no yelling, if you're still here on Friday, I'll be back. Listen to your parents, your docs and your lovely nurses and God bless you all."

Once again, applause ran through the room, the parents, the staff and even Dean joining in. Everyone was smiling and several adults paused to thank Greg as he slid the guitar into a battered case. He smiled and nodded, spoke with some parents, shook hands and even prayed with the parent's and the little boy from the front.

Dean stood leaning against the doorframe as he waited for the other man to finish up.

Greg smiled when he saw Dean, "I figured Sam was too old for the pediatrics ward." He nudged Dean's arm and motioned for him to walk with him.

Dean smiled, "I was just going for a walk, ended up here." He motioned behind him toward the room, "Thought I'd stay for the show."

Greg chuckled, "It makes everyone happy, even the grumpy, broody teens smile and sing, though I'm sure they tell all their friends how stupid it was once they're back home." They reached the elevators and he pushed the button for the second floor. "Ride with me Dean. You look like you need someone to talk to."

The young hunter nodded and slid his hands into his pockets as he stepped into the elevator. "Yeah, things are shit right now."

The pastor nodded, but didn't say anything. Dean followed when the doors slid open and after a short walk, they were in an office labeled, "Chaplain".

Three doors lined one wall. Greg opened the one marked with his name.

Dean smirked at the band stickers that covered the small window of the door and then entered the office behind Greg. Framed concert posters hung on the wall, several covered in autographs and he was suitably impressed.

Greg motioned to one of the two, comfortably worn leather chairs that filled the room as he slid the guitar into a small space between the wall and a bookshelf. He then pulled open a small refrigerator and pulled out a couple of bottles. He held one to Dean.

A huge smile split Dean's face, "Dude, seriously..." he reached for the bottle, "a pastor who drinks? Can you get any cooler?"

Greg laughed, fell into the small loveseat across from Dean and opened his bottle. He took a sip and shook his head. "God never forbids us to drink. Solomon says that wine lightens a heavy heart and even Paul tells Timothy to have a little wine." He held his bottle up. "We just need to make sure we never let ourselves get so out of control that it allows evil to gain the upper hand."

"Yeah, well like I said before, you're weird."

"What's on your mind, Dean? Sam doing okay? I told Bobby to call if he took a turn for the worse and I haven't heard from him, so I was assuming he was holding his own."

"He is. It's just a bunch of shit that's going on." He sipped his beer and watched the older man.

Greg nodded. "Bobby told me about what your father did, what you did and about what the damn demon did to your brother." He leaned forward and set his beer on the small table between them. "He also filled me in on his niece and that you two are involved, so if any of that is part of the shit you're talking about I might be able to help."

"It's just that it seems Logan might be able to pull the evil from Sam while he's unconscious, but she won't do it because of some damn prophesy about her and Sam killing the bitch that holds my contract." He ran a hand through his hair and crossed his ankle onto his knee as he found the chaplain's eyes. "Sam is everything to me. If she can pull out the seed of evil that bastard buried in him then I did what I was supposed to do."

"And what is that?"

"What Dad told me to do; keep Sam safe."

"And what about you? You don't get to be safe?" He watched the struggle behind the younger man's eyes.

Dean shrugged. "My job's to keep Sammy safe. I traded my life for his and I'm willing to hold up my end of the bargain, but I'd feel better knowing that there wasn't a risk of him going all darkside later…you know, I'd never have to worry about Dad's other order."

"Other order?" Greg frowned, "I thought you were to keep him safe."

"Yeah, I am, but if he falls, gives in to the evil inside of him, I'm supposed to…well…I'm just supposed to make sure that never happens." Dean took a long draught from his bottle and closed his eyes. "See, it's possible that Logan can keep that from ever happening, but she's not willing to do it because Vetis told us that together Sam and Logan can kill Lilith." He sighed. "Take the demon blood outa Sam, and boom! He has no power…no way to save me from the pit. She's not willing to do that…she's being selfish."

"So, it's selfish to want the best for the people we love?"

"No, that's not what I said. She wants to keep me topside, that's being selfish."

"But, keeping you topside is what's best for you isn't it? I've never been there, but I believe that hell is no place for humans. God created hell for Satan and his followers, it wasn't meant for us. Unfortunately, if we never repent we end up there too." Greg's voice was quiet. "Keeping you in the land of the living is not only better for you, but for Sam, Logan, Bobby and all those people that you're supposed to save in the future." He picked up his beer and sipped thoughtfully. "So, how exactly is that selfish?"

Dean shook his head, "I don't know."

"Aren't you being selfish?" He held up his hand when Dean started to get riled up. "Hear me out. It's not selfish to sacrifice yourself for your brother, in fact Jesus says, that no man's love is greater than when he lays down his life for his friend, but it is selfish to do it to satisfy your own personal sense of what is right. Keeping your brother alive was for who? Did you deal just for him or did you deal because you needed him with you?"

Greg watched the younger man's posture sag and he knew he touched on the truth. "You didn't want to go on without him and honestly there isn't anything wrong with that, but don't fault Logan for feeling the same way." Greg finished his beer and then settled back into his chair. "It's not fair. She cares about you, probably loves you and sure it's a little selfish, but you aren't one hundred percent right."

"But Logan's putting my welfare and her own welfare above Sam's. You're going to tell me that's not selfish?"

"No, but again, when you went to the crossroads and you made that deal whose welfare were you affecting? Sam was gone, you brought him back for yourself. When you made the deal did you ever really think you were getting out of it?"

Dean shook his head.

"Did you think there was a way to make the demon blood disappear before your time was up? Did you even think that was possible?"

Again, Dean shook his head, adding a whispered, hoarse, "No…"

"So, nothing has really changed. If Logan doesn't pull the evil from Sam then you aren't any worse off than you were when you made the deal. Sam's still breathing and the evil's still inside him, right?"

This time the younger man nodded. "But things have changed. We know things now…"

"You're just making excuses, Dean."

"But then why would we find this out now? Why did God allow any of this to happen? I never had to be close to death, Dad wouldn't have made a deal, Sam wouldn't have died…" Dean pointed to the ceiling, "He could have stopped it…all of it."

Greg frowned, "Dean, bad things happen. Half those kids you saw tonight are facing a death sentence. Don't you think they've had similar thoughts…or their parents have questioned God? The little boy down front was just told yesterday that the last round of experimental treatments didn't do anything. He has less than six months and do you know what he told his parents as they cried and asked me why God would take away the most precious gift he gave them?"

Tears burned in Dean's eyes, shit they were only kids. "No…"

A sad smile graced the older man's face. "That little boy looked at his mom and kissed her. He smiled and told her, 'God's not being mean Mommy. He loves me and he knows that when I go to his house all the pain will go away. I won't hurt anymore, I won't cry anymore and I'll be able to play football. He knew I was going to get sick so he's letting me into heaven early. I know he planned it that way.'"

Greg let silence hang in the room for a minute.

"He's down to a few months too and while he may only be eight, he's a hell of a lot wiser than you are and he's got two things you don't."

Dean caught Greg's gaze, his own green eyes swirling with frustration and fear, "What?"

A soft smile slid across the pastor's face, "First, faith. Told you that the other day, Dean. It only takes a little." He leaned forward. "Second, hope. That little boy's only known pain. Ever since he can remember he's fought cancer, the only thing he has is hope. Hope that somewhere, somehow he won't hurt anymore."

Dean dropped his eyes, not wanting his tears seen. He shook his head. "I don't know if I can."

Greg smiled and finished off his beer. "Well, tell you what. I'll have faith in you until you find it yourself and I hope. I hope that you realize you aren't alone, the people around you love you, care about you and want the best for you…It only takes the faith of a mustard seed, Dean. A tiny, little speck and it can transform you."

Dean dropped his head onto the back of the chair and sighed. "I hope you're right."

The pastor threw his head back and laughed, "Yeah, me too."

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Kate closed the curtains and turned off the overhead lights, leaving the small reading light lit beside the bed.

Bobby arranged the chairs beside the bed and he and Kate settled down between Sam and the door.

Logan sat in a wheelchair that Kate borrowed from the hallway. The chair was as tight against Sam's bed as they could get it and the over-bed table sat in front of her, the vanity opened so she could access the mirror. She caught sight of herself in the mirror, her pale eyes strange and eerie even to herself.

"I have no clue how to do this."

Bobby cleared his throat, "How'd you do it last time?"

"I didn't do it, it just happened." She sighed and rolled her neck on her shoulders as she rested her arms loosely on the table in front of her. "Okay, I'm going to trance myself. Seems like a good place to start and I'll focus on viewing myself from inside the mirror. Just stay quiet. It might be good if you try to match your breathing with mine. It'll build more energy in the room."

Logan waited for the others to nod, then let her eyes drift shut as she inhaled deeply and then slowly exhaled, forcing tension from her body. She focused inwardly on the mirror before her, focused on letting her muscles grow heavy and lethargic.

_Slow inhale; see the room from the mirror. Long exhale; let my body grow heavy. Inhale; focus on the mirror. Exhale; my body is a weight. Inhale; my spirit is light. Exhale; feel like I'm wrapped in gauze. Inhale; there's a tingle at the base of my spine. Exhale; eyes heavy, body heavy and I can't move. Inhale; let myself float up and toward the mirror. Exhale; moving freely, seeing, feeling, tasting, but everything's a little disoriented._

_I open my eyes. I see myself. My body slumped in the wheelchair. I watch myself breathe slow and deep. I can't be asleep because the breathing isn't right. _

_Bobby and Kate watch, both breathing with me and I'm pretty sure Kate's also in a trance since I can feel a gentle pulse of something positive flow from her. Her own aura is a healthy green and shot through with pale violet and clear blue. She's a natural healer who allows intuition and belief to guide her. _

_I turned to face Sam. He looks so small, like a child huddled in the dark after a bad dream. He's hiding from something, but I'm not sure what it is. I move toward him and it's almost like I sink through his aura. I feel the emotions of the colors. Tension, fear, anger, they all brush through me raising my adrenaline; all fight or flight. _

_There's something else; it's dark and heavy and oppressive. It doesn't like me here and I can feel it crawling on me, trying to stick and sink into me. I concentrate and flashes of clear green and indigo spark toward the blackness and it suddenly skitters back and away like a roach when you flip the lights on._

_The area of Sam's aura in front of me bursts into its natural red and orange. The colors of a passionate warrior and for the first time I see the clear yellow of an unhidden intellect._

_I pull back and watch Kate and Bobby. They're still breathing and I feel a positive energy surge into me. I sink deeper into the swirling colors and then feel resistance._

_Sam's chakras are pushing me away, rejecting the foreignness of my presence. He's strong. He pushes and I realize he's tapping the darkness because I feel it pull up and tighten and even though it scares me I don't run, but reach for the white light inside me that suddenly starts to bubble to the surface, pushing everything else to the side. _

_There's pain and a flash and then I can see Sam again. Small and huddled, but his aura is clearer. I move toward his lower chest. The area most covered with the inky black stain. I hover there and call to Sam. He's there then, I see him, or the representation of him and he's confused._

"_Logan?"_

_I reach out toward him and he moves closer when I nod. "You're lost in here Sam. I'm here to help you find your way out."_

_He shook his head, "Not lost, just hiding." He turned to look down at the dark hole in his chest. "He won't leave me the hell alone."_

"_I know, but you can't keep hiding here. You need to wake up. You're too vulnerable in here where he has the upper hand." I push green-white light into the hole and it shrinks._

_The shadow Sam becomes more solid and formed. He smiles at me. "Damn, can you get rid of it completely?"_

_I swallow and turn away. I glanced at Kate and feel her faith and hope and love pouring into the room and I know I can. I can destroy it. _

_I hesitate, but finally nod. "Yeah." I watch the green of my aura muddy, swirl into a sallow blue as grey flashes through it and I feel sorrow, uncertainty and self-pity. "If I do it Lilith will win. The prophesy about the two of us killing Lilith…" _

_Deep red flashed. Determination settles over Sam. "Don't do it. How could you even ask that? It would mean Dean goes to hell."_

_I felt relief. "I know, but are you sure?"_

_The deep clear red suddenly thickens, like someone stirring up the bottom of a pond. I actually feel his anger. He pushes it at me and I reel back at the power of it._

"_I said no. Are you crazy…you want Dean in hell?"_

_I let myself float up, further away and check out my body. Still hunched in the chair, but my head has fallen forward. Blood drips from my lip._

_I face Sam again. "No, but Dean wants me to do it. He begged me to."_

_The muddy red flares again. "My brother's an idiot."_

_I feel my smile, "I know, but I love him anyway and he's gonna be pissed at me."_

"_So? He's pissed at me daily. He'll get over it." _

_His aura mellows back to clear red and orange. The black hole smaller, but it's stirring back to life, trying to rebuild. I can feel it. _

"_You have to wake up Sam. You can't keep hiding in here."_

"_I can handle it again. It's not overwhelming like it was. Go and I'll be out soon."_

_I nod and drift back up through the colors. They feel different this time, much stronger and less tainted. Just before I pull completely through something happens._

_Bright green-white light buzzes through me, pulsing down and into Sam. I try to control it, to stop it. I can see my body bow and convulse. My eyes are open, but rolled back into my head and bloody saliva runs down my chin. I can't stop it and then I'm suddenly inside my body. _

_**NOTE:**_

**Okay, so hope the first person bit didn't turn anyone off, just thought it worked better this way. As usual, let me know what you thought. Positive reviews are great, but so is the constructive stuff. My muse is please as long as you talk to her ;)  
**


	76. So, What Just Happened?

Bobby noticed it first. The sound of something thrashing and it cut through his muddled thoughts. He shook Kate and then they were both around the bed, pulling the chair out from beside Sam.

Logan was having a seizure. Thick drops of blood fell from her chin as her hands gripped the arms of the chair and she gagged as if something was in her throat.

Suddenly, it stopped and Kate grabbed Logan's arm before she could slide from the chair.

"What the…?"

Bobby looked at Kate and shook his head, "Hell if I know?"

"Hold onto her for a second."

Bobby nodded and watched as Kate moved to the sink and wet a washcloth. She then wiped the blood from Logan's face and neck before she slapped her face lightly, "Logan…hey, can you hear me?"

Logan moaned. She heard Kate and nodded, but with the way her head was pounding, she had no desire to open her eyes. She pushed the hand on her forehead away, "Kate…need to…" Logan gagged and raised her head from the back of the chair.

Kate remembered the previous time and lifted the trashcan from the floor before she turned Logan's face toward it.

Logan gagged and then felt her stomach empty. She hated it, but obviously, this was normal. It happened the last time too. After several more heaves, she pushed herself up and waved the disgusting smelling container away from her face. A wet washcloth was pressed into her hand and she wiped the bitter taste from her lips.

"Better?"

Logan nodded. "Thanks, Kate."

"No problem. How'd things go?"

Logan slit an eye open, caught sight of Kate and Bobby's worried face and then let her eyes fall closed again. "Okay I think. There any water?"

Bobby moved across the room and pulled a bottle from a duffle. He handed it to his niece. "Here. Go slow."

Logan opened the bottle and sipped, swallowed and sipped again. Then she forced her eyes open. Everything looked brighter, sharper, like wearing polarized sunglasses. The pain in her head was finally fading and she rubbed at the back of her neck to relieve the dull ache.

"Is Sam gonna wake up?" Bobby stood beside Sam's bed, his hand resting lightly on the younger hunter's forearm.

"He said he was. Said I should leave and he'd be out soon."

"Something happened though, why'd you come out so violently?"

Logan leveled her unsteady gaze on her uncle. "Don't know. I was pulling out, nice and steady. Things were going good. Next thing I know power is pouring out of me, into Sam and I see my body convulsing. Then I was slammed back inside it. Next thing I know you two woke me up."

Bobby scratched his head, "You didn't have anything to do with the power?"

Logan shook her head. She looked over at Sam, fear pushing close to panic. "Please, no…please no…"

"Logan, calm down. What is it?"

She pushed out of the chair, onto unsteady legs and moved to stand beside her uncle. She held her hand over Sam's chest, hovering a few inches above. She felt for it. Felt for the oppressive evil she had been able to sense earlier. She couldn't find it. She focused, forced her eyes to shift to their pale blue and looked. Saw only orange, red and bright yellow swirls. No black, oily stain…it was gone.

"Fuck…no, no, no, no, no. I didn't want to…Sam didn't want it…" Logan began to sob, turning into Bobby's chest as she cried.

"Dammit girl, what's wrong?" He rubbed at her back. "He gonna be okay?"

She pressed her face into her uncle's shirt. Her voice so small, so lost, "I can't find the blackness. It's gone. The demon blood is gone."

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Greg chose to walk with Dean to Sam's room and together they entered the room. Sam was still lying quietly on the bed, the breathing tube in his throat. Kate was in the chair beside him, her hand on his.

Dean glanced around the room, confused. "Hey Kate, where's Bobby and Logan?"

She sighed, "Kate was shaken up after projecting and she wanted to shower. Bobby drove her back up to the cabin. They left about an hour and a half ago. Where were you? It's been…" She glanced at her watch, "Almost three hours."

"I had to work through a few things. Time got away from me. Greg here, had me listening to music and eating left over Chinese." He moved to the bed, "Anything change?"

Kate shook her head, "Not really, I mean Logan said Sam told her he was going to wake up, but he hasn't yet." She shrugged and then wiped at her eyes.

"So it worked?"

Kate lifted her eyes to Dean's. Bobby and Logan insisted that Kate not tell Dean the whole truth about what happened. They both thought it would be better to find out what Sam felt. She didn't like to lie. "She said she was able to push back the darkness so Sam wouldn't have to fight it so much."

Dean nodded and frowned, "Then why isn't he awake?"

Greg moved to stand by Dean and his voice was full of quiet strength. "Faith, Dean. Hope."

Dean reached for Sam's hand and then bent to his ear. "Listen bro, I don't really have faith in much, unless I can see it or understand it, or maybe if someone I trust believes it. So, this dude here says I need faith and I know I have faith in you little brother. I've always believed in you. I've always known you were there for me and you wouldn't purposely let me down. I have faith in that."

He brushed shaggy bangs from his brothers forehead. "And since I have to hope, I have that too. I hope that you understand how much I believe in you. I hope you get married one day, have a couple of kids and raise them in a world where we don't have to worry about demons and evil. I hope you get to be happy, Sammy…really happy. The kind of happy on greeting card commercials…" He paused, swallowed and shook his head as a smirk lifted the corner of his mouth. "Damn, seriously, you're making this much more chick-flick than it needs to be, bitch. Wake the hell up brother." He wiped his wet eyes and smiled. "Because I really do hope to kick your skinny ass for trying to die on me and I have all kinds of faith I can do it hard enough that you'll never forget it."

Greg chuckled beside him, and gripped his shoulder. "Leave it to older brothers to find a way to be supportive and still torture the younger."

Dean straitened and flashed the man a smile as his eyebrows shot up, "You've got an older brother?"

Greg nodded and then dropped his gaze, "Had one, yes…"

Dean nudged the older man, "Sorry."

He smiled, "It was a long time ago…you remind me a lot of Devon."

"I hope that's a good thing." He turned back to Sam.

"Oh, it's all good, Dean." Greg smiled and then moved to Kate. He pulled her into a big hug, and kissed the top of her head. "How you holding up, Katie?"

She wrapped her arms around the older man and rested her head against his chest. "Tired, worried, stiff from these darn chairs, but pretty good."

Dean watched the obvious display of affection and felt a little weird. He wondered if anything had gone on in the past between them, but it really wasn't any of his business. Besides, Greg was a great guy.

Greg rubbed a couple of circles on Kate's back then separated himself. "You know how to get a hold of me if any of you need anything." He waited for Kate to nod. "Good, I better get home. Lori's gonna be ticked as it is...I'm supposed to watch the kids so she can come over and see you. She's been missing you."

Dean felt a little relief that the guy was married and that Kate was friends with his wife, though the ring on his left hand should have been a good indication. "Tell your wife I'm sorry for keeping you."

He smiled and waved a hand, "She understands, she knew she was marrying my job when she hooked up with me. Like I said, she's only gonna be pissed that she had to wait longer to see Katie. Well, that and I didn't help get the boys ready for bed. She really hates that." Greg winked and then was gone.

"Katie?" Dean smirked across the bed at Kate, "Thought no one was allowed to call you that?"

"Shut it. Lori and I grew up together. She's a year old than me and when I was kid everyone called me Katie. Now, only a few people still do. Lori's one of them and by default so is Greg. Even the kids call me Aunt Katie." She smiled wide.

"Damn, Greg's gotta be what forty, easy, and that makes Lori Sam's age. They have two kids. How long they been together?"

Kate rolled her eyes. "You're a jerk."

He shot her a smile and a wink.

"Fine. Greg's forty-two and he and Lori got married two years ago. The kids are four and six and they're from Greg's first marriage."

"Metal listening to, cussing, drinking pastor who's divorced? He kicks ass."

"His first wife, Kara, died of breast cancer right after Micah, the youngest, was born. Greg met Lori while his wife was receiving chemo. Lori had ovarian cancer, almost died, but she's been in remission for three years. She can never have kids, didn't think she'd find a man okay with that. That was the worst part for her, she always wanted to be a mom." Kate smiled sadly.

"So they met at chemo but they didn't start seeing each other until a year and a half after, Kara's death." She paused took a deep breath and continued. "They were married about six months later. I was the Maid of Honor, they got married on the mountain, first dance was to Meatloaf's _I'd Do Anything for Love_, which by the way is the longest song EVER for a first dance. They honeymooned at Disney, took the kids and have lived happily ever after. They're perfect for each other, Lori loves those kids like they were her own and she's thrilled to be able to be a mom, biology be damned."

Her eyes never left Dean's, "Anything else you want to know?"

Dean had the courtesy to look ashamed, "Um, no I think you covered it all." He smirked, "Unless you have details on their sex life too…"

Kate picked an empty paper cup from the table, crushed it in her fist and hurled it his head, "Seriously…you are such a jerk."

The cup bounced off Dean's hand when he raised it to protect himself. He laughed and Kate joined in, they were interrupted by an alarm from the vent.

Worry crossed Dean's face, "What is it? What's wrong?"

Kate glanced to the machine and then to Sam. She smiled, tears leaking from her eyes and running down her face. "Nothing, it's perfect. He's waking up." She pressed the alarm silence button and the nurse call light at the same time.

Carol appeared at the doorway, saw the monitor and held up her hand. She smiled wide, "I'll page the doctor." Then she was gone.

They watched as Sam bit on the tube in his throat, his eyes moving rapidly behind closed lids and his hands lifted from the bed. Suddenly, his eyes were open and panic was behind them. A hand reached for the tube in his mouth and Kate gently grabbed it.

"Whoa, Sam. Calm down. Try to relax, it's important to relax. Squeeze my hand if you understand."

Sam heard Kate, wanted to talk, but air was forced into his lungs. Not enough, not enough, he needed more, tried to bring more in, but couldn't. Then the air was pulled out with a whoosh and he wanted to breath again, tried to inhale and the machine caught on halfway through. He was panicked. He tried to pull his hand from Kate's, to reach up and pull the thing from his throat, but then he heard another voice.

"Dammit, Sammy…calm the hell down…relax and it won't feel so horrible."

Dean was suddenly over him, a big smile on his older brother's face, tears in his eyes and a hand tenderly brushing hair from his forehead. He nodded. Dean would make it better; make it right. His eyes were wide as he stared up at his brother. _Don't leave me, Dean…don't leave me._

He settled a hand beside Sam's face. "Shh, Sammy, I'm here and you're okay. You were hurt and you're in the hospital. You understand that?"

Sam gripped Dean's hand and nodded, eyes still on his brother's face. _I'm scared, it hurts…help me._

"Good, now listen. I know you're scared, but don't fight the damn thing, let it breath for you. At least until the doc gets here okay?" Dean's hand rested lightly on Sam's hand while it rested on his chest. "Calm down, Sammy. Can you do that?"

Sam latched onto his brother's words and nodded again. He obeyed and relaxed. It still sucked, but it was better. He tried to ignore the desire to breath, pretended he was holding his breath. He caught on to the rhythm and the air was enough to keep him from a full blown panic attack.

Kate bent close to him, kissed his cheek and he felt wetness on his cheek. Shit, how bad had he been. Last thing he really remembered was running, he was almost back to the lodge and then pain and dark and Logan…something about Logan.

"Sam, thank God, thank God. We've been so worried. I've been so worried, so scared. Didn't want you to leave me. I already care too much about you. Dammit, Winchester what the hell were you thinking? Running on the road in the fucking dark?" She pressed kisses to his cheek, his forehead, beside his lips and his ear. "Don't scare me like that again."

Sam gripped her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Damn, where the hell was the doctor? Dean was bent over him again, smiling like a fool. His tears were gone, but there was still some worry in those green eyes. He knew there always was, he'd never seen his brother carefree while he was awake. Only in sleep did Dean ever truly relax, and maybe not even then. Sam caught his brother's eyes and winked.

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure you think you're just fine don't you? You've been unconscious for two damn days, about time you woke up."

Sam's eyes shot wide. _No shit?_

"No, I'm not shitting you. Two full days and then some, bro."

Sam looked around the room, pausing on Kate and then Dean then looking over his shoulder. He raised his eyebrows.

"Logan and Bobby?"

Sam nodded.

"Bobby took Logan back to the cabin to shower. They should be back soon."

Sam made an "O" of his mouth. He raised his arm, glanced at the cast, looked at Dean and back at the cast.

Dean sighed, "Other than the major head trauma…" He paused and his brows drew together, "which isn't your head killing you?"

He thought about it, moved his neck side to side then up and down before shaking it. _No._

"Shouldn't his head be hurting him? I mean he has another hole it and a skull fracture and hell even just a concussion hurts like hell." He asked Kate.

Kate nodded. "You'd think so, wouldn't you, but it could be some weird side effect of the head trauma."

Sam waved a hand between them. _Hey, still here._

"Sorry, bro. Okay, so big head trauma, skull fracture, broken ribs, collapsed lung, liver laceration, you messed up your right knee and you broke your right wrist. Plus a large assortment of cuts, scrapes and bruises." Dean looked Sam over and realized that over the past few days the bruises had actually faded some. Sam's eye wasn't as swollen and he wasn't as pale as he'd been this morning. "Anything hurt?"

Sam took inventory. He closed his eyes and worked his way down his body. Head, no…shoulders, tight, stiff, but not hurting. Arms, nope neither hurt, fingers moved without problem. Chest and belly, sore like he'd broken ribs last week, but nothing big. Legs felt fine, both knees bent with little trouble, the right was stiff, a little sore, but nothing worse than overuse. Ankles and toes all mobile.

He opened his eyes and shook his head. He pointed to his throat. It was raw as hell and his eyes were burning.

"Nothing, man?"

He shook his head again and then held his hand over his throat, his brows furrowed and serious.

"Your throat?"

Sam nodded.

Dean's eyes rolled, "Geeze, man. You get flattened by a car, in a coma for almost three days and you complain about your throat? You're such a girl."

Sam glared and then raised his hand. A single finger salute for his brother.

Both Dean and Kate laughed just as a doctor and the nurse, Carol, swung into the room.

"Kate?"

Kate moved around the bed. "Cole." She smiled and threw her arms around the older man hugging him.

Dean pressed Sam back into the bed, "Down, boy…"

Cole was introduced as Dr. Cole Visintine, father of Ryan Visintine and friend of Kate. Dean should have known who he was. The man was extremely handsome, broad in the shoulders and really looked exactly like Ryan, but with graying hair and a sharp goatee. He shook the man's hand.

"I'm Sam's brother. He's awake and would like the tube out."

Cole leaned over Sam's head and smiled. "You're the young man my son and Katie brought in a few days ago. He told me you went and stopped breathing on him twice. The second time your heart stopped. Then it stopped again before we could get you to surgery. You're lucky to be alive." Cole spoke as he ran through a quick examination of Sam, listening to his lungs, and belly, feeling along his ribs. "I think we can get rid of that nasty thing."

He began to remove the tape from the tube. "I'm pretty sure your ready, but we have to do this by the book, okay?"

Sam nodded.

"Now, I'm going to change the settings on the machine and it's going to let you take your own breaths, but if they aren't deep enough it's going to help you."

Sam nodded, eyes wide.

"As long as you keep breathing deep enough and keep your oxygen level up for three minutes we'll pull the tube, okay?" He turned to the machine, adjusted the settings and then turned back to Sam, "You ready?" When Sam nodded, he hit a button and Sam was breathing on his own.

It took Sam a couple of breaths and a small coughing fit to get the feel for it. Breathing with a tube gagging you is all kinds of uncomfortable. Sam focused on his breathing, his eyes scanning the room. He found Kate's and tried to smile around the tube.

She smiled back and ran her hands through his hair. "You're doing great, Sam. Keep it up."

Dr. Cole Visintine listened to Sam's lungs and watched the machine. "Excellent, just a little more time, Sam."

"How's Ryan doing, Cole?" Kate's voice suddenly broke the silence that had fallen.

"Pretty good, Katie, but he let some bastard beat the shit out him again."

"I know, sorry he came to me to sew up the gash on his head." Kate answered meekly, "I also let him crash at my place. When did you find out?"

Cole sighed and glanced at the monitor then smiled at Sam, "Should we be talking about this here?"

"Sam and Dean were there when I found Ryan. They know." She shrugged.

"Well, I've been covering admissions the past two nights and I happened across him in the ER when I was evaluating someone last night." He nodded at Sam, "Almost there, you alright?"

Sam nodded, geeze he was getting sick of nodding.

"Leah's impressed with the suturing, which by the way, is hard to do." He flashed a smile and then nodded to Carol. "Okay, great job Sam. We can pull the tube. I'm gonna sit you all the way up and then finish pulling the tape off. Then I want you to take two really big breaths."

Sam nodded…again.

Sam's head went up and Sam took two deep breaths.

Carol suctioned Sam's mouth and then used a syringe to deflate the cuff on the tube. She nodded when they could all hear air leak around the tube. She held the tube in place, passed a suction catheter to Dr. Visintine and waited for him to insert the small catheter down the tube.

"Now, here's what we're going to do. When I count to three, you're going to take a big, deep breath and scream like a girl." He winked and chuckled, "Don't worry we won't hear it, but really that's what you need to do. While you're doing that, I'm going to apply suction and pull the tube from your throat. It'll feel funny and make you gag, but it gets the job done." He paused, and nodded to Carol.

Kate had already gathered a few things and a basin and wet washcloth were placed on the bedside table.

Carol smiled, "Thanks, sweetie." She looked to Dr. Visintine, "Ready whenever you are."

"Okay, now you ready Sam?"

Sam rolled his eyes and nodded. His eyes found his brother's face. _I_ _feel like an effing bobble-head._

"Bobble-head much Sammy?" Dean smirked, he knew his brother inside and out.

Sam glared, it's one thing for your brother to know, another for him to announce it to the world.

Dean chuckled.

"Sam, you with me."

Sam sighed, eyes shifting to the doctor before he nodded.

"Good, now on three. One, two and three…"

Everything went like it should. Sam inhaled and screamed, the suction flipped on, the tube was pulled out and down and Sam started gagging.

Kate immediately brought the basin under his head and waited for the gagging to stop. Carol suctioned Sam's mouth and then handed him the wet washcloth.

Sam swallowed and damn his throat was on fire. Tears filled his eyes and he wiped his mouth. His mouth felt disgusting. He needed to brush his teeth, it felt like someone had put little fuzzy slippers on each and every one of them. He breathed and fire slid down his throat. Shit that hurt.

"W…" Sam swallowed, his vision blurry from the tears. "…wtr…"

A cup and straw appeared in Kate's hand. "Just a sip, slow. It's room temperature, we don't want any spasms."

Dr. Visintine smiled, "Seriously Katie, you should go back to school."

She rolled her eyes and looked to Carol. She mouthed "Save me" and then answered. "Cole, I enjoy being a paramedic and a nurse. I don't need to be a doctor."

He rolled his eyes, "You and Ryan are too much alike."

Kate laughed and let Sam take another sip. "No, we aren't really anything alike."

"Yeah, well step away from the patient I need to look him over then." Cole smiled and looked to Sam. "How you feeling?"

He swallowed the water and it helped a little. He held his hand to his throat, "Thrt hrts…" he cleared his throat, swallowed, "okay, ev'where else."

Cole's eyes shot up. "No pain anywhere else?"

Sam figured he should just shake his head, but he was sick of that. "No." His voice was beyond hoarse, almost completely gone and it hurt to actually force the words out, but he didn't care."

Dean was suddenly beside his bed, "Really Sammy, if you're hurting just say so. It's the hospital man." He shot his brother a smile, "They have the good drugs."

Sam gave his brother the, 'you're such an idiot' stare. "Not…hrtn…"

Cole Visintine shook his head, "High tolerance to pain. Makes sense with all those old injuries noted in your chart." He glanced to Kate and Dean. "I need to examine him, why don't you two grab some coffee."

Dean hesitated, not wanting to leave his brother, but Sam shook his head. "You gonna be alright?"

Sam sighed, and glared. "Nt four…D'n."

"Okay, we'll be back in ten minutes." Dean grabbed Kate's hand. "Come on Katie." He smirked at her and wasn't surprised when she nailed his bicep with a sharp punch.

"Oh-no, Winchester. You are so not going there."

"Sorry, it's just so cute and everyone else gets to call you that." He pouted playfully and tugged her out into the hall as Carol pulled the curtains behind them.

_**Note: **So, another chapter...and more to come. Let my muse know how you feel ;) Thanks to everyone for their comments, alerts and various other adds. You're keeping me going._


	77. Spoiling Angel's Plans

**NOTE:** Now for a bit of the back story. Basically this chapter is main character free. Mentions several of them, but they really are just spoken about. So, just for that special someone keeping track out there...that's the second Logan-free chapter in a row ;)

_Four Days Prior_

"She's disappointing us." A voice called as a rustle of wings went by, hovering above the other being.

"I've had my orders. There was to be no direct interaction." He stood where he could see the scenes played out in front of him, unseen by human eyes.

"But she has so much potential." A different presence this time and he paused close to the one standing. He watched the humans with cool detachment and then moved on.

A sliver of golden light flashed and a third being appeared beside the first. "Potential yes, but free will also. We can't interfere with their freewill." He folded his wings behind him. "It is their greatest gift."

The first sighed. "And weakness…they turn from their own chosen path so easily."

There was a pause and the new angel pointed to a scene on the other side of the veil. Two priests sat in prayer; he cocked his head and listened. With a nod in their direction he asked, "Join me?"

A sudden rushing of air and heat and they were inside the two men as they sat in an old church. The younger shivered and glanced down at his arms. He stretched. "It always feels so odd." He tested the movement of his legs and fingers. "To feel them along side me while they whisper, think, pray and hope."

The older man stretched. "And their joy, pleasure and wonder …"

"Yes, but they also feel lust, need, pain. It is so much. They feel so much." Iaoth's voice sounded almost disgusted.

"It is their gift, to feel so fully." The other man cocked his head and watched his companion with his new eyes. "They feel their pain so sharply that it makes the pleasure so sweet." He sighed. "I find that dichotomy invigorating and the things that bring pleasure are often so insignificant. We have seen beauty far beyond their imaginations and yet a simple sunrise inspires them to song."

Castiel stood and motioned to the Iaoth. "The one with the hollow soul, she is yours?"

He nodded. "She is. Born of a prophesy meant to defeat two great evils. She was chosen to destroy Lilith and the tempter, Vetis."

"Yet Lilith inhabits a body born from the child?" The statement hung like a question between them.

The men walked, out of the church and down the steps. "I do not question His will."

"Nor do I. I simply attempt to understand more fully. She was brought into the world to defeat and destroy an evil that she then helps strengthen."

Iaoth nodded and frowned. "Her true nature has only just begun to show itself. She had no strength before now."

The men entered a courtyard, and walked in their shirtsleeves below the empty branches of old trees and between barren flowerbeds. They ignored the cold.

Iaoth's eyebrows arched and he scratched at the beard on his host's face. "Her exposure to Azazel's child has roused her power."

A nod, "Azazel was a fool. There never was any hope for him, but Samuel Winchester could rise to take his place. That cannot be allowed to happen." Castiel paused, serious eyes finding those of his companion. "There are rumors of his involvement in things of The Future."

"He does not deserve the anger and suspicion directed at him, afterall, he fights against the evil and seeks to destroy those that cause harm." Iaoth frowned.

"That is true, but the boy's powers are increasing exponentially, most likely in response to those of your child." Castiel glanced to his companion. "There is some interplay between them that I don't understand. Together they balance each other, but that should not be possible."

Iaoth watched his companion from the corner of his eye, "The Lord has placed considerable weight on the shoulders of the Winchester brothers, especially the eldest, yet they are ill equipped to follow through on their responsibilities."

Castiel nodded, "Yes, making it all the more important to keep Samuel's brother alive."

Iaoth looked at his companion, confusion on his face. "I don't understand his place, but Dean Winchester plays a heavy role in the upcoming battle." His voice dropped and was suddenly more serious. He placed a hand on Castiel's shoulder. "We have our orders."

"You have yours and I, mine." Castiel stopped and turned to the other man. "Dean Winchester has been placed in my care. His continued existence is now one of my top priorities."

Iaoth watched the other man, his fellow warrior and brother. He fought the urge to step out of his own vessel. He never felt comfortable on earth, unless he was fighting and killing evil. He yearned for his true form. He involuntarily shivered. "The power bestowed on my child is to destroy evil. Though she does not know it, she will cleanse the demon blood from the boy. He should be redeemed and made pure again." He narrowed his eyes at Castiel. "It makes more sense since bound together the brothers are stronger."

"If the hollow one purifies him, then Lilith will be victorious. Dean will go to hell." Castiel's hands fisted. "You understand that I can't allow that to happen. Samuel Winchester and Shane Logan Anam must stand together to defeat Lilith and save Dean from perdition." He forced his hands to relax. "It is foretold."

Iaoth laughed bitterly, "Much is foretold and much is rewritten by these mortals. My pure blood runs in the girl's veins. Her nature is to purify. It will be accomplished and Samuel will be made complete. It must happen, for the boy cannot be punished for something he had no ability to refuse."

Castiel had hoped he could reason with his brother. Iaoth was always so black and white. "Perhaps she can do the same at a later time. Let them stand together and defeat Lilith and then she can purify him."

Iaoth shook his head sadly. "His powers grow by the day and the evil will be harder for him to control. It must be done before he embraces it." Iaoth looked Castiel full in the eye. "I am sorry brother. You will have to find another way to save your ward. Shane Logan Anam will tear Azazel's evil from the young Winchester."

With that, Iaoth and his vessel were gone.

Castiel stood, saddened by the words of his fellow soldier; his brother. Iaoth didn't realize the importance of Dean's survival. The angel said a small prayer and turned to the north. He separated from the priest he was occupying, leaving him with pleasant thoughts and a renewed religious fervor. The angel swept his wings and took flight, up into the sky. With a thought, he called out and sent a message through the darkening night. He knew it would reach it's destination – _Azazel's chosen will be powerless in days._

Castiel nodded and returned to his post, the message was delivered and he was confident that it would heard by someone with the power to do something.

* * *

_The Next Day…_

Iaoth could feel the priest's confusion. He didn't understand what he was doing driving across two states. He was now in Colorado, in a stolen SUV. He wasn't sure about what was going on. He knew he'd prayed for God's guidance. He remembered asking God to use him as he felt fit, but honestly, this wasn't what he'd expected. The angel, Iaoth, used his body gently. Fed him, rested him, but he still felt used.

When he'd stolen the SUV, he was worried. His mind wrestled with the angel, but the angel won. Iaoth told him that God would repay the man threefold. It still didn't feel right. Then they drove and Iaoth's thoughts leaked into his consciousness. They were going to hurt someone. Hurt him so that he could be healed.

The priest, Frank, didn't like the idea of causing harm, even if it was God's will, but he prayed that God would teach him understanding, he meditated and kept quiet.

_

* * *

_

_Meanwhile…_

Castiel stood outside the cabin, invisible in his true form, just on his side of the veil that separated the spirit world from the physical. He listened to the thoughts of the inhabitants and smiled. He could feel them. Their passion, love, hurt, desire and all of it made him smile. He waited. He had called and one would appear.

Castiel felt him before he arrived. The feathers on his wings suddenly rose, the scent of sulfur and decay heavy in the air. The dark thoughts coming from the being were oppressive and vulgar. A dark heaviness suddenly covered the area, but couldn't reach the angel.

"Sariel, angel of death and magicks, you came. Do you know why?" Castiel's voice was controlled and commanding.

Sariel let his wings fold down his back, the black leather creaking as he moved. His long forked tongue darted out into the air and then he smiled. "Castiel, you should have joined with us brother. We are so much more powerful here than we ever were up there." He jerked his middle finger into the sky with a laugh. "You would have been Grigori. You should feel the lust and desire and then the satisfaction." The demon's eyes glazed in pleasure. "It is wickedly wonderful."

"I can no longer be tempted any more than you can be redeemed." He leveled his gaze at the once beautiful being. "You are hideous and we are no longer brothers." He spat.

The demon laughed, "Oh no, we were created as brothers, and while we may be fighting for opposite sides we are still brothers. We were created the same way, to serve the one true God." He shivered and then laughed. "Only you have remained deluded. I have taken what He freely gave to these humans."

"What is that?" Castiel sighed, he hated playing this game, but he needed something from the filthy demon.

He smiled, his sharp teeth and tongue disappeared as he suddenly transformed into a well-muscled, handsome and very naked man. He leaned forward, his obvious erection almost pressing into Castiel's form. He almost growled, "The ability to feel the ultimate pleasures. It is wonderful, beautiful and there is so much pleasure I could show you."

Castiel raised a hand and a bright flame appeared in his palm. "_Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter._ You are like a venomous snake, beautiful to behold, but dangerous to handle."

Castiel lifted his hand and the flame shot toward Sariel, breaking the glamour and the demon's visage returned. He was angry.

He snarled. "You should be careful Castiel. You might start a skirmish you have no authority to begin." He stretched his wings as he crossed his arms. "You called for one of us." His eyebrows rose, "What is it you know? You said that Azazel's chosen would lose his power. That should be good news to you, why do you make us aware of it?"

"Why, is none of your business, but it concerns me. Iaoth is planning to have his offspring remove Azazel's blood. I have reason to believe that Samuel Winchester needs to remain as he is. If Iaoth succeeds the future will be altered in ways that are…shall we say, unacceptable."

"What can I do? You know Iaoth is stronger than me, stronger than even you. He has the ability to destroy demons with a mere thought. We don't just get sent to the pit, we cease to exist." He shook his head. "I'm not sure I want to get involved with him."

"You won't. I simply need you to separate Samuel from those around him. I need you to raise in him the memories of Azazel. You have the ability, the magicks to do that. I need him out of the cabin." Castiel cocked his head. "He runs. Inspire him to go for a run."

"What do I get?"

"Samuel Winchester remains tainted with Azazel's blood. He remains yours…" Castiel raised his eyes to the demons, "…at least for now."

Sariel nodded and reached for the cabin. He let his senses roll around it, trying to find a way in. "All the entrances are salted and the front door is charmed. Sigils of protection are inscribed on the threshold." He shook his head. "I cannot enter."

"I will disturb the salt line in the room he occupies. You simply do as I ask." Castiel cocked his head as if to listen. "Iaoth is almost here. We must move quickly."

"Why do you want him out?"

"Iaoth will need to hurt him so that the hollow one can heal him. I want him unconscious; I need his defenses altered so that when Shane Logan Anam's spirit walks with his she thinks Azazel's poison is removed. It will only work if Samuel doesn't hold on, if he can't really fight back." Castiel paused and listened again. "I will ensure that Iaoth does just that and you will ensure that a bit more demon blood transfers to Samuel. Then you will leave enough magick in him to keep him unconscious until the hollow one goes to him. When she does your magick will be forced out, and Iaoth and his child will believe it is Azazel's evil. Samuel will wake up and Azazel's blood will remain intact."

"You're very sure of yourself, Castiel. What if Iaoth has other plans? What if I don't perform as asked?"

Castiel laughed. "Iaoth is easy to deal with and The Father is on my side. As for you, you will do exactly as you have been instructed because you want Lilith gone as much as we do. I need Azazel's evil intact inside of Samuel Winchester so that he and the hollow one can destroy Lilith." Bright, fire-lit eyes turned to Sariel's face, his expression deadly serious. "If Lilith isn't destroyed she will usher in The Apocalypse. Tell me, Sariel, do you want to reign forever under that evil bitch's control?"

Sariel shuddered and snarled, "No." He nodded. "Alter the barrier and I will do my part."

* * *

_An hour later…_

Iaoth pushed Frank into the smallest place he could. He crushed the man's consciousness with thoughts of religious ecstasy. Frank would be well rewarded for what would happen.

There was a sudden flash and Castiel appeared in the passenger seat beside him. He was inhabiting a different host, this one young and female.

"Castiel, are you here to stop me?"

Castiel shook his head. "I couldn't, your power is more than mine. I am here to bear witness."

Iaoth felt Frank's lips slide into a smile. "Thank you brother."

Castiel inclined his head and watched the darkened forest sweep by the window. "Samuel is out of the cabin. He is running on this road."

"I know. It is very fortuitous. I plan on side swiping him, causing mild injury. Then I will inspire Shane Logan Anam to heal him. She won't expect what happens and all will be well Castiel." Iaoth nodded and drove.

A few minutes later, the sun was just lightening the sky and the form of Samuel Winchester came into view well ahead of them. Castiel waited; as they came closer to Sam, he reached out and touched him, sending his thoughts back to his dream that wasn't a dream. At the same time, he glanced to Iaoth, "I am being called away. Care for this vessel." He then pulled himself from the girl.

The girl, suddenly and without reason finding herself in a strange car with a strange man, became hysterical. She screamed, thrashed, punched and completely caught Iaoth off guard. His host was surprised and suddenly clutched at his chest. Iaoth attempted to gain control, but the girl was terrified. The next thing he knew there was a loud thump and the SUV was in a snow bank. His vessel was gasping, barely hanging on from a heart attack and the young vessel of Castiel's had been thrown through the windshield. She was impaled on part of a road sign and he watched as the spark of life was snuffed out. His own vessel was fading and he offered what little comfort he could. _– Do not fear, Franklin Marcus Newman, your reward will be great._

The man was gone. Iaoth rose from the body and surveyed the scene. Samuel Winchester lay bleeding and broken on the cold asphalt while two bodies lay spiritless on the side of the road. It wasn't what he had planned, but it was done and it would do. He roused a call to the emergency services and stood over Sam until they arrived. He never sensed the other angel hovering, watching and smiling overhead.

**_Note:_**

So you know this is where I shamlessly ask for more reviews, so consider yourselves asked. Castiel quotes Isaiah 5:20: _Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter. _

I hope to have more up soonish...still working on papers and stuff, but I'm almost done for the semester! YEAH!! Oh, when I first plotted this story out back in June/July, I had picked a different angel as Dean's guardian, but when we found out about Castiel I had to change it. Hopefully it worked.


	78. Backing Away From the Problem of Pain

The elevator doors slid open on the lowest floor, just across from the cafeteria and Kate and Dean exited, both smiling. A woman with a medium build, about five foot five and shock of bright red hair barreled into Kate with a squeal. Kate hugged the woman; laughing as together, they bumped into Dean.

"Lori, calm the heck down. You're like a puppy sometimes." Kate chided, but pulled the woman even tighter to her side. "It's not like I've been away for months."

Lori smiled and looped her arm through Kate's. "You know that's almost not true. You haven't been to church in weeks and with you spending all your time on the mountain I've missed you." She smiled. "And the boys miss you."

"I miss them too. You should all come up, we could spend the day skiing and then have dinner at my place." Kate turned to Dean. "Lori, this is Dean Winchester. He's a friend of mine."

Lori dropped Kate's arm and turned to Dean. She pulled him into a hug. "Greg told me about your brother. The boys and I prayed for him tonight." She pulled back and looked up at Dean's stunned face. "I hope he's doing better. Anything you need, you just let us know. Okay?"

Dean nodded mutely, a confused and overwhelmed smile on his face.

Kate sighed. "He's a little shy." She rolled her eyes and nudged Dean's arm.

Lori smiled and let her eyes wander over Dean. She turned to Kate. "He doesn't look shy Katie." She winked and then pulled Kate's arm back to loop with her own again. "Come on, I'll buy you both coffee."

Dean shook his head. "Thanks, but I need to call Bobby."

Kate raised an eyebrow. "Maybe Logan?" Her voice hopeful.

Dean glared and shrugged. "I'll be outside."

Lori smiled and pulled Kate along with her toward the cafeteria. She giggled and spoke loud enough for Dean to hear as he walked away. "So, Greg says you're dating the younger brother. Is he as good looking as this one?"

Dean shook his head as he headed for the doors. He sighed and pulled his phone from his pocket. He felt so tired, exhilarated, but exhausted. He flipped the phone open and pushed the speed dial number for Bobby.

The phone went to voicemail and Dean cursed. When the beep sounded, he left a message. "Hey, Bobby Sam's awake. Where the hell are you two?"

He hung up and then dialed Logan's number.

She answered on the third ring. "Dean? Everything okay?"

"Yeah. Sam's awake, breathing on his own and the doc kicked us out so he could look him over. You alright?" Dean pushed his hand through his hair.

"I think so." Logan paused. "We're almost there…Did Sam say anything?"

"No, his throat is hurting and like I said, the doc made us leave so that he could finish his exam." He dropped onto a bench. "How long till you're here?"

"Five minutes. We stopped for coffee and donuts." There was an awkward pause. "Dean…I…never mind, I'll see you in a few."

The call ended and Dean pulled the phone from his ear. He flipped it shut and shivered. It was cold and he was tired and worn out. He was worried and angry and he wished he knew where things were going. He definitely wasn't happy with the way things were between him and Logan. They were off, he felt on edge around her and he wasn't sure it was going to get better.

He sighed and pushed himself to his feet then went back inside. He needed to make sure Sam was okay. He saw Kate and Lori sitting in the cafeteria and pointed to himself and then up. When Kate nodded and pointed to her coffee, he nodded back and headed to the elevators.

He rode up to the ICU and then headed to Sam's room. He found Sam alone; he was sitting up in bed, sipping water. The feeding tube was gone and the room was quiet, except for the steady – beep, beep, beep, from the monitor at Sam's bedside.

"Hey, Sammy." Dean smiled and moved to Sam's bed. "The doc say anything important?"

Sam's head swung toward Dean. He smiled back and shook his head. He swallowed with a grimace, "Said, M'good."

"Well, you look like shit warmed over." Dean ruffled Sam's hair. "You're hair's a mess and hell, you need to shave." He winked, his voice soft when he added. "Never realized how much you look like Dad when you don't shave."

Sam frowned and playfully shoved Dean's hand from his head.

Dean sat on the edge of the bed and looked at his brother. "I'm glad you're back in the land of the living Sasquatch." His eyes drifted to the floor. "Dude, you really had me worried."

Sam nudged Dean's arm and smiled. "No car take'n me out."

Dean chuckled, "Yeah, especially a minivan, man."

"Ha, ha…" Sam's voice was gone and the words came out whispered. "What'd Log'n do?"

Dean's gaze shot to his brother's face. "What do you mean?"

He swallowed and sipped from his water. More whispers and Dean had to bend close to hear. "Found me, D'n. Talked me out of the dark, push'd black away."

"I really don't know, Sammy. I wasn't here. We had a fight." He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. "Shit she's pissed at me, I'm pissed at her. You know, the typical." He shrugged.

Sam's eyebrows pinched together and he grabbed Dean's hand. "Feels diff'rent."

Dean stared at his brother, suddenly hopeful. "What does?"

Sam shrugged and put a hand over his chest, his whispered voice forceful. "Here, don't know…" He looked Dean in the eye. "…feels light'r, bet'r."

Tears pressed against the backs of Dean's eyes and he gripped Sam's hand harder. He gasped out. "God, please tell me she did it…"

"Huh? Did what?" Sam managed to push the words out his throat in a half-whispered, half-hoarse croak.

Dean shook his head. "Is it there, Sam? Is the power still there?"

Confusion was on Sam's face. "What...you…talk'n bout?"

"Logan said she might be able to pull it out Sammy; Azazel's blood. Is it gone?" He stood, turned, paced a step and turned back to Sam. "Please, Sammy you have to tell me…Did Logan pull it out?"

Sam watched his brother's agitation and it freaked him out. "De?"

He turned, his hands gripping Sam's biceps as bent over him. He shook Sam gently, his face mere inches away. "One more time Sam. Did Logan manage to use her power to pull out what that evil bastard put inside you?"

Sam stared, confused and shook his head. "D'n I…"

Her voice startled them.

"Yes."

Dean's hands gripped Sam's biceps roughly. He only realized it as Sam abruptly began to resist and croaked out a half-hearted groan. "Sorry, Sammy…" He let go and spun to face the door.

Logan stood in the doorway, alone. She was shaking; her eyes were red, face puffy from crying.

"But…you…" Dean stuttered and took a step toward the door. "…shit Logan, you told me you weren't going to do it." He looked at Sam. "She said she wouldn't Sam. Wouldn't free you from the damn blood that bastard forced down your throat…told me you wouldn't want her to." He moved to face Logan again. "Why?"

Logan shook her head. "I didn't want to." She caught Sam's eyes. "Sam, I'm sorry…I wasn't trying to. Remember, we talked about it…" She wiped her eyes and took a shaky breath. "Neither of us wanted it this way…we need…" She hiccupped. "Shit…we needed it to…" She leaned heavy against the door and drew in shallow, unsteady breaths.

Dean watched her unravel and moved toward her.

She held out her hand and shook her head as she dropped her eyes. "Don't."

Ignoring her, he made it to the door. "Logan?" He reached over and placed his hand lightly on her shoulder. When she didn't flinch, Dean pulled her gently toward him. "Logan, look at me."

Slowly, she raised her eyes to his and he caught the pale, silver-blue. She looked around his shoulder at Sam, even as she continued to shake her head. "I didn't mean it, Sam…I didn't want it to be this way…but it's gone, Sam. I can't see it anymore. I can't feel it." Logan pressed into Dean as his arms came up and around her. She craned her neck, her voice pleading and desperate. "I'm sorry, Sam, so sorry…please…" She hiccupped and swung her head wildly side, to side as she let Dean hold her up. "I…please don't me angry."

Dean was amazed at how fragile she looked and felt. She was shaking wildly, her stormy eyes skittering between his brother and him. He gently shook her by the shoulders. "Logan, stop it."

Her wide eyes found his and her hand suddenly came up between them. "No, no, no…" Logan's hand rested on Dean's cheek. "I just…I…I…" She looked back to Sam, stared, and cocked her head to the side. "It's gone. I wasn't supposed to take it out." She collapsed against his chest, shoulders shaking with grief. "My fault…you're going to die and I did it…me."

Anger rose swiftly and he backed up, holding Logan at arms length. "Logan, stop it." He shook her roughly and when he glanced to Sam over his shoulder, his heart almost broke. The look on Sam's face echoed his own devastation. "Shit."

Dean pulled Logan into the room and pushed her into the chair at Sam's bedside. He turned, paced to the end of the bed as his hand ran through his hair. He turned back to them. Sam, lay shell-shocked in the bed and Logan was sunk into herself beside him in the chair.

"Both of you look at me." He waited and when neither of them complied, he slammed his palm on the table. The loud slap rang through the room and two sets of wet eyes were suddenly on him. "Listen to me." He stepped toward the two of them. Anger clear on his face, his hands now fisted at his sides. Dean's voice was low, threatening. "I made the deal. ME! Not you Sam and not you Logan." His voice cracked. "I knew what I was doing when I did it."

He looked from Sam and then back to Logan. "I know neither of you agree with my reasons and I don't fucking care because what's done is done." He moved back to Logan, bent over with his hands on the arms of the chair. His face inches from hers. "Damn it Logan, stop blaming yourself. I asked you to do it. I wanted Sam safe from that bastard's evil." He backed up and his eyes swung to his brother. "Sam, it's what should be. Can't you see that? Even though Logan didn't want it to happen, it did. Call it fate or God or whatever, but it means you're free from Azazel and his damn legacy."

Sam shook his head and wiped at his teary eyes. "Means I…" he motioned to Logan and swallowed with a wince, "…we can't save you…"

Dean grabbed his brother's hand. "Knowing you're safe is worth it…" He smiled. "It's worth it all over again, Sammy. You're alive and free." Dean wiped at his own eyes. "It means that no matter what, you're life is now your own."

Sam's face crumpled and he opened his mouth, only to shut it without a sound. Tears coursed down his face as he gripped his brother's hand. "Sorry, D'n…we'll find s'thing else…still time."

Dean smiled, nodded and then pulled Sam into his arms.

The brothers clung to each other and then separated when Logan pulled herself from her chair and hurried out the door.

Sam thumped Dean on the back. "Talk t'her…" He nodded his head toward the door. "She's scared…doesn't wan lose ya'."

He squeezed Sam's hand. "I'll try Sammy. You okay?" He straitened and eyed his brother critically.

Sam smiled and nodded. He swallowed and held a hand to his throat. "Bobby n Kate'll be back?"

Dean nodded. "I'm sure soon. Kate was just finishing some coffee."

"Go."

"Be back soon, bro." Dean smiled wide and ruffled Sam's hair. "I mean it Sammy, I'm happy about what happened. We still have time to find something else." He gave his brother a serious look and then headed out the door.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

Logan really had no idea where to go and she had no energy to go far. She found herself at the end of the hall. A large window overlooked the parking lot and the mountains in the distance, though the lateness of the night left little visible beyond the streetlights. Three couches and several small chairs sat arranged in the small alcove created in the little dead-end area. An elevator marked, "Staff Only" stood to the left and a locked door labeled, "Authorized Medical Personnel" that led to the surgical suites was on the right.

She let herself sink onto the padded bench that ran the length of the window and tucked herself into the corner. She drew up her knees, crossed her arms across their tops and rested her head against the window as she stared out into the dark watching the headlights of cars move down the mountain.

Her thoughts were a mess of anger, desperation, guilt and hurt. She hated the way she felt, the overwhelming disappointment in herself. She brushed the tears from her cheeks and sighed.

If she were honest, she'd admit to herself that she was jealous. Jealous of the way Dean loved his brother. She was jealous that he was willing to give up everything, even the best chance at saving his own life, just so his brother could have a chance at happiness. She shook her head, knowing she had no right to be jealous and that it was wrong to feel that way, but she'd never had anyone care for her that way.

Her parents lied, used and manipulated to get what they wanted and in the end, they broke her. What happened was their fault. Neither of them could leave well enough alone. Her brother had betrayed her. Her grandmother blamed her and while her uncle cared for her, even he decided to pass her on to someone else.

"Fuck you…fuck me…" Logan whispered harshly to the reflection of herself in the window.

She sighed, heart heavy with regret and self-pity. She closed her eyes, tired emotionally and physically. Projecting into Sam's mind had drained her. She felt shaky and emotionally unstable. Her breakdown in Sam's room was a bit much, even for her. She knew it, but she hadn't been able to pull herself together and focus on solving the problem.

She was still hurt, still heartbroken that she wouldn't be able to help Dean. She'd fallen asleep on the way back from the cabin. In her sleep she replayed it over and over trying to figure out what she'd done and why it had happened. Logan sighed again and opened her eyes. She jumped when she saw his reflection in the window.

She swiveled her head to face Dean. "How long you been standing there?" She wiped her nose with the back of her hand.

He shrugged. "Not long" He pulled one of chairs up beside the window seat. "You wanna talk?"

She stared at him as he sat, trying to formulate words that made sense. Should she apologize? For what? She shrugged. "Don't know what to talk about."

Dean slumped into the chair. "Look Logan, I'm tired, you're tired and we're both confused as hell."

She snorted and shifted so she was facing him. "And?"

He rubbed his face in agitation, only just realizing that he needed to shave just as badly as Sam did. He scratched at his beard. "Are you trying to be difficult?" His tone flat.

"Am I trying to be..." Hair tossed over her shoulder, "…shit, Dean." She turned, dropping one foot to the floor and tucking the other beneath her. "I don't get you. Didn't I just give you what you ask me for? Didn't I?" Her voice raised an octave, but she kept the volume down.

He leaned forward, head cocked to the side. "Yeah, but you're not doing really well with it."

"What do you expect? You want tears of joy? Big smiles and hugs all 'round?" Logan shook her head. "Fuck, you can be such an ass." Her hand pushed her hair off her face and she held it loosely at the nape of her neck with one hand as she dug through the pocket of her jacket for something. She found the elastic and started pulling her hair into it. "Can you think past your own damn self for one effing minute?"

Dean's jaw clenched immediately and his hands fisted.

"Guess not." Her hands dropped to her lap. Her voice had lost power. She was angry, but she suddenly sounded so small. "Yeah, figures. You got what you wanted didn't you? Sammy's all safe and sound, but what about everyone else? Yep, I fixed him right up, didn't I? What about the rest of us…what about me? Do you even care?"

Something in the way she spoke made him pause. Maybe he heard the underlying vulnerability, the desperation in her words. The fear, the pain that had crept into her voice and flashed like lightning behind her anger. He realized she was pushing him. She wanted him angry because she was angry. She was pissed at herself and she wanted to be punished. She wanted to fight.

Logan didn't even see him move, but she suddenly found herself yanked from her seat and her first thought was that she'd finally pushed him to hurt her. Then his arms were around her and he was sliding behind her, tucking her under his chin as he sat, legs outstretched. He settled her on her side, facing the window and he curled himself around her.

Dean didn't say a word. He just held her, his body moving, just barely swaying side to side as if her were rocking a small child. His hands rubbed down her arm and softly up and down her back. His lips were pressed into her hair and his grip was firm, steady and careful.

She shivered, watching their reflection in the window as it blurred from the tears in her eyes. She inhaled and then released a deep stuttering sob that wracked her entire frame. She found her hands gripping his side and she sobbed again.

He held her and let her cry, keeping his words to soothing sounds and softly murmured reassurances of, "Shh, it's gonna be alright…shh…"

They stayed there for a long time. Dean rocked and whispered while Logan cried. Eventually she was quiet and still then she lifted her head and looked up at Dean.

He smiled. She was a mess, her eyes were swollen and red. Her face was blotchy. The little bit of make-up she had put on was smeared in dark lines beneath her eyes. He gently wiped the wetness off her face. "Feeling better?"

She grunted and shifted to a more comfortable position.

Dean brought his arm up behind her, letting her lean back, but not letting her out of the circle of his arms. He frowned a little when he thought he caught stubbornness in her eyes. "I'm not going to fight with you."

She frowned back. "Dean…I…"

He shook his head. "Listen, to me." He cupped her cheek. "I know you're upset and for that I'm sorry." When she started to talk he put a finger to her lip and raised his eyebrows. "I said listen." He waited until she gave him half-nod. "Okay. Like I said, I'm sorry you're upset, but don't be pissed at yourself for what happened. There's no reason for it. I'm not angry and Sam's not either."

Logan shook off his hand. "But…he didn't want it…he wanted to save you."

He caught the far away look in her eyes. "It doesn't matter. I'm no worse off than I was just a few days ago. I mean we had no clue about the prophesy then and I was going to hell no matter what."

He tucked a strand of hair that had escaped the knot at her nape behind her ear as his finger trailed along the sensitive skin just below her earlobe. "Sam and I have thought there were ways before, only to find out we were wrong…it's disappointing, but we got past it. We'll do the same now." He paused and watched her eyes. "Except this time it'll be the three of us getting drunk instead of just me and Sam." He flashed a cocky smile. "And maybe I'll end up in bed with a sexy hunter instead of half-passed out alone while Sam snores in the bed beside me."

Logan chuckled and a small smile lifted her lips. "He does kinda sound like a congested bear when he snores and then there's the drooling like a mastiff when he's been drinking…"

He laughed. "Ahh, and then in the morning he gives you those big puppy dog eyes just before he drags his ass to kneel before the porcelain god…Sit Sammy, good boy." He winked.

She sighed and blew at the hair in her eyes before she looked up at Dean.

Dean met her eyes and was startled that they actually changed while he watched. "Shit, that's all kind of freaky."

"You saw that?" She blinked slowly, and opened her eyes to their clear blue.

He nodded. "They were blue, and then they swirled and were all pale." He rearranged his legs as she sat up between them. "Did you do that on purpose?"

Dean watched the guilty blush rush up her neck and face. His eyebrow shot up in response.

"Um, sort of…" She pulled the band from her hair and smoothed it back again, intent on getting it under control. "I wanted to see what you really felt."

"Huh?"

"Your aura. You can't keep what you really feel out of it. I wanted to know if you were angry or hurt or scared…I wanted to know if you blamed me." She shrugged.

"I already told you I don't blame you." When he caught her looking away he gently turned her face back to his. "Look all you want baby, because the only thing you're gonna find is me being happier than I've been in forever..." He held his other hand out to the side. "Really, knowing that Sam won't have to fight the darkside makes me realize I did the right thing." He was suddenly serious. "What would happen to Sam if he died with that shit inside him? What would all that evil do to him?" He shuddered. "Sammy doesn't deserve hell. He's never done a thing to deserve hell and he shouldn't end up there because that sonofabitch bled into his mouth."

Logan shook her head as she grabbed Dean's hand. "But you do?"

He shrugged. "Don't know if I deserve it, but at least I had a choice." He raised Logan's hand and brushed his lips across her knuckles. "Does that make sense to you? Can you understand that?"

"I really do. I wish I had an argument for it, but I don't." She dropped her eyes for a second, let the emotions rush through her and then she looked Dean dead in the eye. His face blurred as her tears gathered. "You need to know something, though and I know you're not going to like it and you probably don't want to hear it…but I…"

Dean yanked her hand and she fell against his chest. "Don't…," he whispered, his eyes begged as his lips hovered above hers. "Not yet, Logan…please…"

She felt his breath across her lips and she shivered. Her heart was aching, but she nodded. "Okay, not yet…" She sighed out as she met Dean's lips.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

After Bobby left Logan by Sam's room, he went to find Kate. Together they drank coffee and ate donuts, until Dean stomped off after Logan. Bobby poked his head into Sam's room, smiled wide and then made some excuse about needing to move his truck before ducking back out, leaving Kate alone with Sam.

Kate had tears in her eyes by the time she was beside Sam's bed. She grabbed his hand and bent to brush a light kiss to his cheek.

Sam surprised her by wrapping his arm around her tightly. "Miss'd you."

She smiled and combed her fingers through his matted hair. Blood, betadine, dirt and the fact that it hadn't been washed in days left it gritty and greasy, but Kate didn't care. She was thrilled he was awake. "I was so afraid, Sam." She pulled back and maneuvered to sit on the edge of the bed. "So afraid you wouldn't wake up."

He brushed the tears from her cheek with his good hand. "Shh, M'fine…'cept my damn throat." He reached for his water.

Kate picked up the cup and held it as he drank. "Don't talk, it'll make the swelling worse and then it'll be forever before you can talk right."

He nodded. "Yeah, doc said that."

Kate rolled her eyes. "So, shut it Mr. Winchester. Those are the doctor's orders." She wiped the remaining tears from her face and looked him over critically. "You know, you really don't look like you just woke up from a two and a half day coma after being rammed by an SUV."

"D'n said was mini-van." Sam's eyes were drawn together.

Kate stood with her hands on her hips. "Uh-hu and Dean never stretches the truth does he?" She folded Sam's blanket back and started pulling the hospital gown up his legs.

"Wha hell're you do'n?" Sam protested, pushing Kate's hands away while keeping his gown in place.

"I wanna look you over." She watched Sam blush. "Come on, give it a rest. I've seen everything your mama gave you." She winked. "Besides, I'm a professional."

Sam shook his head. "Will you wear white n give me a spnge bath?"

She paused. "Naughty nurse fantasies Sam?"

He smiled and let his eyes wander down, then up Kate's form. What could he say, he did have a thing for sexy women in nurses uniforms. Shit, if she pulled his gown up now she was going to get more than she bargained for. He shook his head and then shrugged.

"Tell you what." She waited until his eyes were back on her face. "You let me look you over and when we get you out of here I'll make sure that fantasy becomes reality." She looked at him over the rim of her glasses. "I can be the nicest, naughty nurse you've ever seen, Sam."

Sam groaned, but there was no sound. He grabbed Kate's hand and pulled her close. He felt the heat rise to his face, but he ignored it. "One small…problem…" he pressed her hand to his gown covered erection.

Kate giggled and glanced over her shoulder before she let her hand run up and down his length. "Now, Mr. Winchester…I'm not sure I would call that a small problem."

A hiss escaped his lips and his hips came off the bed.

"Shit, Sam…we can't do this here." Kate pulled her hand away.

Sam grabbed it before she got too far. "Lat'r?"

She nodded and then kissed his forehead. "After we know you're well and…maybe when you're clean." She stood up, her nose wrinkled. "You're kinda gross."

"It'sa date…"

_**Note: **Hello again. Thanks to everyone for their reading, reviewing and story alert adding. I can't tell you how much it means. My semester is almost over. One more paper and it's an easy one ;) My big project is finished. _

_Trust me, actually conducting a research project, even a small one, is so much harder that I thought it would be...have I ever told you all how much I hate statistics. Honestly, if I had to look at one more standard deviation or ANOVA or F distribution table to determine the signifigance of my results I was going to shoot someone. OKAY, so it would have been in a story I wrote, but still...I don't wanna shoot my boys!_

_I'll get to work on the next chapter, but be sure to tell me how you liked this one...my muse likes encouragement, so encourage her!_


	79. Dinner Plans and Making Up

_The Hospital: Two days later…_

Sam moved cautiously out of the bathroom. His hair was damp from the shower, but he felt better even though he was stiff, a little sore and his ribs still ached. The dull throb in his head was mostly gone, but the doctors finally decided he was well enough to be discharge. Truth be told they were amazed at how quickly he had recovered. How do you explain that a half-angel slapped some mojo on you?

He picked up the plaid button down shirt from his bed and slipped his arms into the sleeves as he turned to the small mirror above the sink in his room. The bruising was mostly gone, though there were two shallow gashes still healing on his left cheek. He sighed at his hair. Frustrated, he brushed the longer hair above his ear, back and down to cover the small patch of scalp that they clipped when they drilled through his skull. He was pissed about it, but at least the rest of his hair mostly covered it.

He picked up his comb, toothbrush, deodorant and aftershave and then dumped them into the little black toiletry bag before tossing the whole thing into his duffle. Glancing around the room, he finally located his boots beside the bed and sat down at the foot to pull them on. Dean called about an hour before, said someone would be there to pick him up by two. It was ten to two, Dean wasn't there yet and he was waiting on the nurse to bring his discharge papers. He lifted his foot up to tie the boot.

"Knock, knock…"

The voice startled him and he glanced up to see someone at the door. "Um, hi."

"Sam?" The man asked as he casually leaned against the door jam.

Sam nodded as he assessed the man. He wore a faded Ted Nugent t-shirt over a black long-sleeved shirt. The sleeves pushed carelessly up to just below his elbows. Tattoos covered both arms as far as Sam could see. Several silver rings decorated his ears and what looked like a large washer filled the lobe of his left. There was small curved bar through his right eyebrow. A thick leather bracelet wrapped around his right wrist and a silver cross hung from the black leather strip around his neck. Worn jeans held up by a heavy leather belt and black Doc Martens completed his clothing. For some reason the man reminded him a bit of his brother.

Greg stepped into the room with a huge smile on his face and his hand outstretched. "Hey, I'm happy to see you up and about, man." He stopped a foot from Sam and waited as Sam hesitantly raised his hand to grasp his, "I'm Greg Walsh and I'm one of the chaplains here at the hospital." He shook Sam's hand and then took a step back. "I ran into your brother while you were fighting the good fight." He winked. "Your brother was really worried about you and well, he tends to wear his heart on his sleeve when it comes to you. We were all praying for you to get well."

Sam grunted and frowned. _Yeah, your not telling me anything I don't already know man…the idiot traded his life for mine._ "Yeah, Dean does that and thanks, I guess."

Greg watched Sam tie his shoe. "Turns out, I knew your father."

Sam's head swung up, his eyes wide and he fumbled with the lace. "What?"

He looked Sam in the eye. "He was one of the best hunters I ever knew…I was sorry to hear that he's no longer fighting his battles this side of heaven."

Sam was a bit overwhelmed. "Thanks…I mean…but you knew Dad?" He lowered his foot to the floor and began tying the other.

Greg nodded. "Hell, yeah. John and me well, we stumbled into all kinds of shit in our time."

He shook his head and cocked a brow. "You did say you were one of the chaplains, right?" He sat up, both feet on the floor as he looked at the other man.

The chaplain chuckled. "Just like your brother." He rolled his eyes. "I'm human Sam. There's only ever been one perfect man on this earth and since he was also God, he had a bit of an advantage. I'm just a sinner saved by grace, man…don't look to me for all the answers because I struggle just as much as the next guy."

Sam liked the guy. "You a hunter then?"

"Was…I'm sorta retired, but I still occasionally help out with research, places to crash and logistics." He pulled the chair toward the bed and sank into it. "I try to confine my battles to the behind the scenes type. Prayer and comfort." He shrugged. "You're dad though, he was pretty damn single minded in his pursuit of evil. I always kinda envied John that."

Sam grunted. "Trust me; if he'd have known the price ahead of time, Dad would've never agreed."

There was a few seconds of silence and then Greg quietly added. "Some of us paid the price and _then_ lost our desire to fight…" He shook himself and smiled. "Enough of that," He slapped Sam lightly on the knee. "I talked to Kate, my wife and her are good friends, and she told me to ask you, see if you felt up to it. I know you'll be heading out soon, but Lori, that's my wife, and I would love it if you had dinner with us tonight; all of you."

"I, uh…did you check with Bobby and Dean?"

"Kate said it was okay with them, but it was ultimately up to you, though I'll tell you, man." He smiled and shook his head. "I could hear your brother in the background and he kept saying something like, 'You tell Sam that I don't care what his ass wants. I'm sick of McDogballs and Toxic Hell…we're damn well eating a home cooked meal.'"

Sam laughed. "Yeah, that's my big brother. All concerned about my welfare unless it gets in the way of food or women."

Greg shook his head and stood while chuckling. "So, that's a yes?" When Sam nodded, he nodded back. "Good, I'll tell Lori to make an extra-large lasagna and to make sure to bake an extra pie." He moved to the door. "Kate knows where we're at, just be there around six."

Sam smiled. "Six it is then. See ya."

"You can count on it." Greg shot over his shoulder and then was gone.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

_The Cabin: Same Time…_

Logan slammed the door on the dryer and bunched the, now clean, clothes together before heading to the couch to fold them. She was pissed, and she didn't want to be. Dean was still avoiding her to some degree, and she was pretty sure she knew why.

He found any reason to be somewhere she wasn't. The night Sam woke, he stayed overnight at the hospital, which he'd been doing, and then last night, even though Sam had been transferred out of the ICU, Dean didn't return to the cabin.

She sat and sorted the laundry, shoving the socks, boxers and panties into a pile and then folding the t-shirts. Since he hadn't returned to the cabin, she hadn't seen Dean since last night before she rode back to the cabin with Kate. They'd made hot chocolate, added some Bailey's and watched "Pretty Woman" on late night TV. Bobby arrived to find them drunk and giggling, the empty bottle of Bailey's on the table.

Kate had gone to see Sam early, leaving Logan alone with her uncle. She'd straitened up, and spent the day doing as much dirty laundry as she could round up. She did Sam's first and then moved on to Bobby's, which didn't take long. She smiled. The man only ever packed enough clothes for three days. She was just finishing the last load, which was mostly hers and the few dirty pieces of Dean's she'd rounded up from the bathroom floor and his duffle.

She'd talked to Dean earlier, listened to him tell her that he'd gotten drunk at Greg's last night and crashed on their couch. She believed that's where he'd been, she had no reason to doubt him, but it still hurt. She missed him. She sighed as she folded the last of clothes and then gathered them up and headed to the loft to put them away.

"Logan?"

She moved and looked down from the loft, "Yeah, Uncle Bobby?"

"I'm running out to do a little research for a hunt I'm eyeing in New Mexico." He pulled his hat on and snapped up his down vest. "I'll be at the library and then I'll meet up with ya'll for supper with Greg."

"Kay…"

Bobby paused at looked to his niece. "You gonna be okay by yourself?"

Logan snorted. "I'm all grown up, Bobby…I think I can handle a couple hours alone."

Bobby nodded, but continued to eye her with concern. "Kate's picking up Sam, said she wanted to spend a little time with him by herself, so Dean's on his way back. I talked to him about half hour ago."

When Logan nodded, Bobby grunted. "Good and thanks for washing up my duds. 'Preciate it as usual. See ya at supper."

"Bye." She sank down onto the bed and pulled Dean's duffle from the floor.

She started to put the clean clothes in, but found herself exasperated by the state of its contents. With a frustrated sigh, she upended the bag and dumped the contents onto the bedspread. She smiled at the two empty Peanut M&M wrappers and then frowned at the ten or twelve, now fuzzy M&Ms that skittered out onto the bed. She also pulled out bits of paper and an empty box of condoms.

She dropped all of the trash into the small wastebasket by the bed and then ran her hands through the inside of the bag. She managed to find about twelve dollars in loose change and bills, four unopened condoms, a half-eaten Slim-Jim, an empty tube of toothpaste, a very small, but empty, Jack Daniel's bottle, three shotgun shells, an empty clip for a 9mm and three silver bullets. She tossed the half-eaten jerky, and the empty tube and bottle before she laid the rest out on the bedside table. Then she unzipped the deep pocket on the outside of the bag.

Logan knew Dean kept his toiletries and a few other things inside. She pulled out a toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant and an empty bottle of some kind of aftershave, the label long ago worn off. Then she found a worn and faded manila envelope stuffed to overflowing.

She fingered the little silver clasp that held the envelope closed. She wondered what was inside and knew it wasn't hers to discover, but after glancing over the half-wall, she shrugged and lifted the two worn prongs and slipped them through the reinforced hole.

She slid her thumb and forefinger into the envelope and pulled out the wad of papers and photos that was inside. A small picture slipped from the pile as the dry-rotted rubber band gave way. Setting the pile down she picked up the small wallet sized photo and smiled.

A young boy, obviously Sam, smiled awkwardly from the faded paper. On the back of the picture was a label written in messy handwriting: _Sammy 2__nd__ grade_. Logan shook her head. It seemed Sam's hair had always hung over his eyes. She laid the picture down and started sorting through the rest of the pile.

There were business cards with numbers, several more old pictures and a few old letters written by his mother to his father and vice-a-versa, these showed damage from water and soot, one obviously partially burned. There were several short, mundane notes written in a brusque, choppy handwriting she'd never seen, all of which were signed simply, _Dad. _

None of these things seemed overly important, but Logan knew when all you had left of your past were the types of things most people throw away, you hold on to them even more fiercely. Three or four report cards, all Sam's and all straight A's, then a couple of crayon drawings of dogs and trees and big black cars that made her roll her eyes.

She smiled at a few photos showing a younger and more carefree Dean and Sam, some of them included a man she assumed was their father. One picture, a younger version of the same man in a Marine uniform, made her realize how much Sam looked like his father and the last picture was of the young man and his bride. The back identified them as _Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan Winchester_.

Logan's smile slipped. They looked so happy and free and in love that it tugged at a spot deep inside her. A single tear slipped from her eye and she wiped it away. The last thing she found was a tiny envelope, this one contained two simple and worn gold bands. She dumped them into her palm and held them to the light to read the inscriptions.

The larger band was engraved with the Marine motto and initials, _Semper Fidelis – JEW_ while the smaller was engraved with, _Amor Vincit Om – MCW; _always faithful and love conquers all things. Again, Logan wiped at her eyes. She sat for a few minutes as she gently fingered the bands. She could actually feel the emotion that they expressed; love, warmth and family.

Longing rose from deep inside, but she pushed it back down with a tense swallow. As she slid the rings back into their envelope, she realized that Dean completely embodied those inscriptions. He was faithful to his family, and those he loved, to the end and while he would never admit it, he was a romantic for believing that love truly would conquer every evil in his life.

There wasn't much else in the envelope and she began to pile it back together to put away. She never realized how sentimental Dean was. That he carried the entirety of his family history, which fit inside a small envelope, around in his beat up duffle bag endeared him to her even more. She carefully slid everything back into the larger envelope and for some reason her heart was lighter.

"Find anything interesting?"

The cold bitterness of the voice made her jump, scattering a few pictures to the bed as her hand slid to the knife in her boot. She realized who it was and managed to keep from pulling the knife.

Her hand to her chest, "Shit Dean, make some noise."

He moved to the bed, and grabbed the pile of papers from Logan's hand even as he gathered the pieces from the bed. "I thought you might be napping." He snapped and stacked the mementos neatly as he slid them into the aged, worn packet. "Damn it Logan, does "personal property" mean nothing to you?"

She glanced up at him, embarrassment and shame on her face. "I'm sorry."

Dean checked the bed and the floor, ensuring everything was back inside before opening the little clasps to secure the flap. "What the hell were you thinking?" He grabbed his duffle and gently pushed the package into the pocket before gathering up the other things that he stored in the same place. "Why're you going through my things?"

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to snoop or anything." Logan shifted and absently started folding the clothes she'd dumped from his bag. "I did your laundry, wanted to put it away and then I was cleaning out your bag so it would be easier to find your clean stuff…I just…fuck, I'm sorry." She sniffed and wiped at her wet eyes.

He rubbed at the back of his neck and sighed. He didn't' want to fight. He lowered himself to the bed, sat beside her and grabbed her hand, effectively stilling her. "Logan?"

Her eyes met his. "I'm sorry."

He chuckled. "You said that already."

She frowned and tugged at her hand, which he refused to release. "Now you're gonna make fun of me?"

"No."

"Huh?"

"Look, you dug through my stuff and I don't like that you did it, but you didn't hurt anything."

She squirmed.

"Don't do it again."

She sniffed and nodded solemnly.

He wrapped his left arm around her shoulder and pulled her against him as he dropped his head to hers. "You know, I'm pretty sure I owe you." He breathed out against her ear, his teeth gently tugging on the tender lobe.

Logan gasped out a confused, "For what?"

His hand found the gap between her jeans and her t-shirt, fingers lightly teasing the small strip of flesh by her hip. He smiled against her neck when she gasped. "The other night…"

His tongue flicked her ear; his breath ghosted out as he spoke and it sent shivers down her spine. "…I wasn't very nice…"

He cupped her jaw with one hand as his fingers drifted up her side. His lips met hers softly, a light pressure before he caught her lower lip in his teeth, teased it with his tongue and then he pulled back. He smiled as her breath came in small puffs. "…kinda just took what I wanted…" His nose brushed hers just before he lowered his lips to hers. His tongue swept lazily inside. Tasting and teasing hers to dance along. Gentle caresses, long and tender. He moaned when her tongue tangled with his.

He pulled back, rested his forehead to hers. His voice far away. "I never made sure you were…ah, good."

Logan smiled as her hands gripped his hair so she could pull his mouth back to hers. Needing more, wanting to feel wanted, wanting to forget…only remember what she felt when she was in his arms.

He'd made it clear he didn't want her words, so she showed him what she felt with her body. She put as much feeling in that single kiss as she could. Lips parted, and a small smile curved her lips. "Trust me; I made it all the way to good…" Her tongue darted out to play and she traced the corner of his mouth.

He chuckled, leaned over her to press her back against the bed as he turned and moved his knee upward, pressing between her legs. He smiled when she arched beneath him, up and into him. His hand tangled in her hair and he ground himself softly into her belly with a low growl. "Still owe you, don't like owing anybody."

She shook her head and pulled his head down again. Her lips and tongue on his ear, her breath sending shivers down his body this time. "I needed you, you needed me…it's…" Dean's hand on her breast interrupted her and she groaned. "Mmm, yeah…"

His hand gently teased her nipple as he sat up and pulled her with him. His arms still around her, he brushed her hair from her face. "You're so damned sexy…drives me crazy." His heavy eyes, took in her kiss-swollen lips and the light pink flush of her neck and face. Lightly he trailed his fingertips up the side of her neck, to cup her cheek. His thumb brushed across her bottom lip.

Logan cocked her head, "Something wrong?" Her voice husky.

He smiled and shook his head. "No…" Dean leaned forward and kissed her deep. He pulled back with a small groan. "You're going to make me forget my elaborate plan." He whispered into her neck.

She chuckled. "You have a plan beyond getting me naked?" She felt him smile against her neck.

He pulled back, cocky smirk on his face as his head moved up and down slowly in an exaggerated nod. Dean watched his hand slide from her cheek to her shoulder and then even lower to the top curve of her breast just above the neckline of her t-shirt. Soft, ticklish strokes up to her shoulder and back down, pausing at the deep V between her breasts.

Every little hitch in her breathing, small sound and motion, tightened the pressure in his lower belly. He loved how responsive she was. He knew exactly when she liked something.

She licked her lips and her eyelids went half-mast when his thumb ghosted over her nipples. He was torturing her.

"Plan was to let you have your way with me…" He cocked an eyebrow and squirmed in an attempt to relief the tightness on his jeans.

She giggled, throaty and deep.

Dean bit back a groan.

"So…" Logan moved, up on her knees so that she was in front of him, and smiling down. "You owe me and you want me to do all the work?" Her hands found his shoulders and her fingers slipped into his hair. Her fingers massaging. "How's that work?"

He held his hands out to his side, a smile sexier than sin itself on his face. "I'm yours sweetheart. Make me work, make me lay still and suffer…tell me to fuck off? Your wish…my command."

Logan was moving as he spoke. One knee dropping over his legs so she could straddle him.

His arms came around her, steadying her as she lowered herself onto his lap.

She rocked against him a couple of times, savoring the friction between them even as she leaned back into his arms while gripping his shoulders. She settled forward and looked him in the eye. "Now, what good would me telling you to fuck off do me?" She slowly ground down against his cock.

He bit back a moan and slid his hands to her hips. "Trust me…it would be pure torture on this end."

Logan pouted prettily down at him, rocked against him again and let her nails sink into the flesh of his shoulders. Her head fell back. "Mmm…" She rolled her head forward, caught his eyes. "Yeah, but then I'd be suffering too…"

Dean was tempted to wrap her hair around his fist and fuck her like he did that night, but here he was trying to make up. "Wouldn't want that." He hooked his fingers into her belt loops, dragged her slowly up his lap and then back down, savoring each little spiral of pleasure that shot through him.

His mouth fell open as she peeled her shirt over her head and began to run her fingertips down her own neck to her breasts. He watched as she teased her nipples through the lace of her dark green bra.

"Shit, baby…" he all but growled when she pushed the straps from her shoulders to reveal herself to his gaze.

She lightly ran her fingers down her breasts and around her nipples. She bit back her own growl when Dean bent forward and caught her right nipple lightly in his teeth. Her breath caught and she moved against him again as the pressure built in her lower belly. "Just take your time…" She panted out harshly as he rolled her left nipple.

He pulled his mouth from her breast, "Hmm?"

The confusion on his face made her smile even as she rolled her hips against his. Her hands slid down his chest and she pulled the hem of his t-shirt up, fingers finding the sensitive flesh on his side, making the muscles below his skin jump. "I want you to take your time." She pulled his shirt over his head.

He pulled his arms from the sleeves and tossed the shirt to the floor. "That's all?" He dove for her mouth. Tongue and teeth pulling, teasing and fanning her desire.

Logan pulled away and slid from his lap. She nodded, a wicked smile on her face. "I'm not about to make it easy for you Winchester."

Dean shook his head, eyebrow arched. "Is that a challenge McCree?" He smiled and leaned back onto his elbows, feet still on the floor.

She chuckled, deep and sexy and despite his cockiness, Dean suddenly felt he might be in over his head.

Reaching behind her, she undid the bra and let it fall to the floor. Then she moved to the wooden trunk that sat at the end of the bed. She flipped on the CD player and began to sway to music.

Dean swallowed hard, eyes tracking her as she moved back to the side of the bed. It took him several long seconds to register the song, _Out of Love_ by Blue Murder. Not half bad, but not what he would have chosen. He wasn't about to complain since the show was well worth it.

Logan swayed side to side as her hands stroked down her body. She turned her back, bent over and swung her head side to side. Her hair swinging wildly then she straitened, turned and stalked purposely toward him with a wicked smile on her face. When he reached for her, she shook her head and dropped her hand to the buttons of her jeans.

He lowered his hands and groaned, as one by one she opened the buttons of her jeans. His jeans now uncomfortably tight, he shifted with a groan.

Her left hand danced over her chest as her right sank into the open fly of her jeans. Logan knew her pupils blew wide as she touched herself, stroking over her sensitive flesh, she arched into her hand and bit at her lower lip with a small groan.

He reached out for her again, but she leaned away. Fuck, he wanted to touch her, wanted her to touch him, needed, and craved…his cock throbbed, hard, heavy and uncomfortably constricted. With her eyes on him, he ran his palm, flat down his chest and over his tight belly muscles. He hissed out a breath when his hand slid over his denim-clad cock to stroke up and down.

Logan's eyes followed his palm, over his right nipple and down the washboard of his abs to press over the, obvious, bulge beneath his fly. Shit, she found it inexplicably hot. Her fingers sliding and rolling. She pulled her hand from her pants. A trail of wetness glistened on her belly and she moved toward him, eyes lost in his stormy green gaze.

Dean's lips fell open as he watched her fingers trail up her belly to her breasts, and he leaned forward with a groan. "Come here…"

She didn't hesitate, moved forward and stood just in front of him. Her hands fell heavily to his shoulder, gripping tight, and full of tension. Her breath caught when his hands stroked up her sides.

He bent forward and his tongue found the dampness she left on her breast and then followed it down her belly. He swirled into her navel and gripped her hips tighter as she squirmed. He stood and spun backing her knees to the bed and then with a smile he pushed her gently backward.

She fell onto her back with a whoosh and then came up on her elbows just in time to see Dean collapse to his knees between her own.

He nudged her legs apart with his elbows and slid his hands to her hips where he gripped the waist of her jeans and pulled them down. He couldn't prevent the groan from suddenly spilled from his throat as his hands moved down the silky skin of her thighs.

Logan lifted her hips and then helped Dean shove her jeans completely off. She fell back when his eyes found hers.

His hand pressed gently between her breasts, laying her back onto the bed. Fingers drifting up to tease her nipples as he came up on his knees between hers. He dropped his head to her belly and he teased low across her hips along the tops of her cotton panties. He smiled at the darkened patch of material between her legs before tugging them down and off.

The small patch of hair between her legs glistened with her need. Firm hands slid up from knees to thigh, prodding her knees further apart as his head lowered to her skin.

Logan jumped when Dean bit playfully at her inner thigh as he moved her legs over his shoulder. She groaned when his tongue soothed the small hurt and her hips arched unconsciously toward the heat of his breath. When his finger brushed her clit, she cried out and her fingers tangled into his hair. "My…god…"

He blew out a hot breath across her as he used his fingers to open her to him. "I wanna feel you come on my tongue, Logan…gonna taste you…" Dean watched her wet, slick flesh quiver and clench before he moaned and lowered his head.

Her hands tightened even more in his hair and she arched sharply up into his mouth. The flat of his tongue stroking firmly. The soft, wet heat pushing her already wired nerves to the limit.

Dean played his tongue over her clit before diving sharply inside. Short, hard flicks, long, soft caresses and then tasting her deep inside. His tongue moving in patterns, left to right, up and down, at odd angles and then inside again. He teased and coaxed knowing she was close.

She bowed off the bed, up into Dean's willing and ever talented mouth. She couldn't catch her breath, her muscles bunched and her heels dug into his back. A fine sheen of sweat covered her and she tossed her head side to side. "Please…" She heard herself whimper.

He released her with his left hand and dragged his middle and index finger over her wetness. He paused, felt her buck toward them. He lifted his head, "What…" He stroked her again, making her thrash against him in frustration. He let his fingers circle and tease her clit as he lifted his head again.

"What do you need Logan?" All husky with need and want.

Her head lifted, wild, pupil blown eyes on his. "Please, Dean…I need to…" His fingers were distracting her. Her head fell back. "Just…"

He smiled and dropped his head back between her legs. "You want my fingers?" Long stroke of the tongue across her swollen clit.

She whimpered piteously, "Please…god, please…"

Dean lowered his head and returned his attention to her clit. When she arched up against him, he thrust his fingers deep inside and twirled them.

Logan's wordless sound of pleasure rang out into the room as she began to thrust with purpose onto Dean's fingers and into his mouth. Her hands fell to the bedspread, and fisted uselessly into it. Panting, almost panicked, breaths escape her lips, body arched severely off the bed. Close, closer…need, want and emotion suddenly overflows. A long, low keen of pleasure caught as she tensed and spasmed, then continued when she gradually relaxed back onto the bed and into Dean.

When she exploded over his tongue, he savored it. Swallowed her, memorized her scent, taste and feel. He needs to keep it in his head, needs the good dreams and fantasies. He continued to stroke her with his tongue, all soft and tender. Listened to her little whimpers as she mellowed back into the bed.

He smiled at her deep purr he and when her fingers slide back into his hair, to gently touch and no longer pull, when she no longer clenched around his fingers, still buried deep inside, as they teased that other tender bundle of nerves, he raised his head and withdrew his fingers.

Logan was a mass of liquid muscles, a puddle. Her arms felt heavy and weighted, but she managed to lean up on her elbows as Dean moved from his place between her legs. She watched him stand.

Dean stood, hands unbuttoned his jeans and then he tugging the zipper down as he shed the jeans and the boxer briefs in one quick movement. His eyes found Logan's and that wicked smile on her face made him groan. He didn't try to keep himself from touching his cock. His breath hissed out as he stroked himself. He gripped his cock and moved toward the bed, back between Logan's still spread legs.

"Don't think I can last any longer, baby." His eyes begged and he leaned over her, bracing himself on his arms.

She leaned up, her lips finding his as her legs went up and around his waist. Her heels dug into his tight ass as she pulled him closer. Her mouth demanded, ravenous and needy as her tongue fought for dominance. One hand slid between them to find his weeping cock as it pressed against her belly.

Her finger teased along the slit, smoothing the precum around the sensitive tip. "You're so damn hard…" She whispered hoarsely in his ear. "You need me, don't you? Can't stand it anymore and you want to fuck me hard, don't you?"

His cock jerked in her palm. "Love naughty words, baby…god, yes need you." He rested his weight on his left arm and ran his left down her body.

Logan arched into his hand as he teased her breasts. Her body wanting and needing more. "I want you to do me slow…take your time remember?" Her legs dropped from his waist and she pushed him over. "I wanna ride you."

Dean smiled and moved more fully onto the bed. He propped a couple of pillows behind his head.

She crawled up the bed from his feet. Her fingernails dragged up his legs, sharp at his knees, but lighter as she climbed higher. She couldn't resist pausing when she reached his cock. She sat back on her heels and watched his eyes as she took him in her hand again.

"I'd suck you off if you didn't owe me…" She winked at him and lowered her head to his cock, taking him deep as she could in one bob, then she sucked hard as she pulled back.

Dean hissed, hips rose off the bed when Logan sucked him hard. His hands tangled into her hair, heels dug into the mattress. "Sweet…holy…fuck…"

She moved over him, set a slow and languid pace that she knew would drive him crazy. His assorted whimpers and groans proved to her that she was right. The small, aborted jabs of his hips made her smile around him. She pulled back and let her hands take over and watched him struggle for control.

He was desperate and if he didn't come soon he was going to die, or go blind or his balls were going to fall off, hell maybe he'd explode, because that's exactly how he felt. He grabbed her hand and pulled it from his cock. "Stop…Logan, please…need you so fucking bad."

She smiled and nodded before moving up and over him. She gripped his cock and began to lower herself over him.

Dean growled and grabbed her hips in a panic. "Condom…"

It took several seconds for the meaning of the word to sink in. Logan blushed, "Shit." She reached to the table where she dumped the stuff from Dean's bag and after finding one, she tore it open with her teeth and watched as he slid it on.

Dean would have sworn that she followed the condom down his cock. The condom was barely on before he was buried inside her. He groaned long and deep. "Feels so good…fuck yes."

Logan moved over him. She set a slow, torturous pace and savored the sensations as they shot up her spine. One hand rested on Dean's chest as she lifted herself up and the slid slowly back down. She felt the heat pool deep in her belly and the tingles of pleasure than ran up and outward. She rocked against him, rolled her hips and when he hit her sweet spot, she shuddered. "Hell yes…right there…"

Dean smiled and bit his lip before he rolled his own hips, hitting the spot again.

Her breath caught each time he rolled up and to her left. His hands found her sweat slicked hips and he encouraged her to move, moving counter to her. Her sensation became his goal. He loved how her hair was damp and sticking to her face, he loved the way she had her head thrown back, completely abandoned to her own pleasure. Her lip was between her teeth and he thought she never looked more beautiful than she did right now. "So beautiful, baby…fucking sexy…"

Her free hand dropped behind her and teased Dean's sac, gently massaging and tugging and she felt him thicken and harden deep inside her. She shifted, planting her feet beneath her and moved up and down needing more to push herself over the edge.

Dean was slick with sweat, his control on edge and then she shifted and began to bob on him in earnest. His hands gripped her hips, helping and guiding. One hand sliding between them and he swirled his fingers against her. He felt her shudder, a small quiver deep inside, pulling him closer. He thrust upward, meeting her downward movements. "So close, baby…you with me?"

Logan couldn't breathe. Her eyes flew open and she nodded. "Almost…" She shifted again, moving quicker, panting as her blood hummed in her ears.

"Shit…" Dean bit out. He moved, sat up and pulled her against his chest as he drove into her. "Need you to come…" He was desperate as he moved into her, pounding and hard. His mouth found hers. Teeth, catching her lips and then biting lightly along her jaw. "Please." His voice raw, and full of need.

Her hand dropped between them as she fingered her clit and rocked against him.

He rocked up, hard and felt the tingle of his orgasm low in his belly. His hands tightened on her hips and he thrust deep, heard her cry out and felt her flutter around him.

"There…shit, Dean yes…" Her nails dug into his shoulder and she screamed into the room as the pressure gave and poured through her body. The need and tension flowing away and contentment and lassitude taking over.

He felt her body give and groaned with relief as he pushed harder and exploded deep inside. He continued to thrust, head back, eyes closed to the sensation until he was spent. His legs shaky as he withdrew and fell to Logan's side. He gathered her into his arms and kissed her forehead.

They lay together, cooling while their breathing returned to normal.

"Wow?" Logan nuzzled her nose into the curve of Dean's shoulder.

"Question or commentary?" Dean's voice was sleepy.

"What the hell…can't it be both?"

He chuckled and pushed damp hair from her face. "Don't make much sense, but if you want it that way, sure."

"Listen. My party, my rules." She giggled and licked at the sweat on his neck. "'Sides, you should be happy. You actually did it."

Dean pulled back so he could see her eyes. "Huh? What I do?"

She smiled and shook her head, "Finally topped _The List_ in every category."

The smuggest, most self-satisfied smile she'd ever seen lit up his face and Logan had to bite her cheek to keep from laughing.

"So, what was the category?

"Make-up sex."

"You have a make-up sex category?"

"Why not?"

"Cause make-up sex is like regular sex…only better because you have all that energy to burn off, but that doesn't justify a separate category. 'Sides that wasn't really make-up sex…more like, I'm sorry sex."

She rolled her eyes and rose up on an elbow, resting her head on her hand. "Who says I can't have it as a category? And, if I want to call it make-up sex and put you at the top of the category shouldn't' you just be happy about it?" She traced his collarbone and her eyebrows shot up. "Have you actually ever spent enough time with a girl to even have a reason to _have_ make-up sex?"

"Ha, ha…think you're funny don't you?" Dean was smiling. "Sure, you know you gotta have make-up sex when you forget her name in the morning or you violate The Great Threesome Rule and spend too much time with one girl and not enough with the other." He winked.

"Oh, pa-leeze, you're such a perv." She kissed his chin, "and that is so not make-up sex, that's, 'don't be mad at me, I still wanna do you again' sex and it's a requirement in situations like those…especially the threesome thing." She leveled her eyes on him, "Please tell me you've never done that."

"What had two girls at the same time?" His eyebrows drew together, he wasn't sure what she wanted to hear. "I, uh…"

Logan punched his arm playfully, "No, you moron, violated etiquette." She settled back. "I'm not sure I could keep sleeping with you knowing you had such a shitty habit." She tried not to laugh at his face. "And to think I even discounted a couple of categories for you."

Dean sat up and stared down at her. "First, one was my first threesome, I was young and the neglected one was a little more drunk than her friend and she didn't really sober up enough until morning. Second, the other time…well I was drunk and didn't even realize I invited them both over…which was a huge disappointment because they were both fucking hot." He wiped his hand through his hair. "Now, what the hell categories did you discount? I'm not discounting any categories for you…I mean sure you're not gonna top best threesome by yourself, but I haven't written you off or anything."

She sat up and finally laughed. "You think I should put you back in the running then?"

Dean nodded.

"Okay, well you let me know when you cut your dick off and grow a uterus and I'll put you up for best lesbian sex and if hell ever freezes over and you're willing to bed me WITH another man, then I'll put in the running for best MMF threesome."

Dean sputtered and stared and then glared and sputtered some more.

"What? Think you're the only one with a colorful sexual history?" She winked and lay back down, pulling him with her. "Wanna hear about my one, and only, all girl orgy?"

Dean smiled and Logan felt him thicken against her thigh. She rolled her eyes.

_**Note: Okay, so long freaking chapter, hope you enjoyed it ;) Yeah, and Sam's little fantasy is coming, you're just gonna have to wait. You know I'm always asking for reviews and well, that's exactly what this sentence is for. Please let me know what you think and celebrate with me...My semester is effing OVER - FINALLY!  
**_


	80. Sulfur, Sage and Cedar

_**Author's Note:** I know this update took longer than usual. Well, you know my semester ended and you would think that would mean more time for writing and I think it will, eventually. BUT, I had so much other stuff to catch up on, like Christmas shopping and cleaning *YUCK*, I've pretty much caught up now, so hopefully the next chapter will be done soon. Thanks so much for reading..._

At five after two, Sam was getting agitated. He'd called Dean, but the phone went straight to voicemail, then when he'd tried to call Kate the battery on his phone finally died. He was about to throw something when the nurse of day walked it, Kate in tow.

Lucy smiled shyly, apologized and then went over the discharge instructions. When Sam refused a wheelchair, it took all Kate's reassurances that she would take full responsibility for anything that might happen due to Sam walking himself out to make the younger nurse agree.

Sam sat on the bottom of the bed, tucking papers into his duffle when Kate was suddenly in front of him.

She pulled his arms around behind her and leaned into him, her lips claiming his gently. She bit back a moan when he kissed her back, pulling her tightly against his chest. She broke the kiss and rested her head on his chest as he stood.

Sam kissed the top of her head. "I've missed you." He smiled into her hair.

"Me too," Kate lifted her head and pulled back so she could see his eyes. "How are you feeling?"

Sam knew she was asking about more than his physical health. He shrugged. "Good, it's just different. I can't really explain it."

She smiled. "You don't have to." She grabbed his duffle and threw it over her shoulder. "You ready to get the hell out of here?" She didn't wait for his answer, just grabbed his hand as she headed to the door.

They walked to the elevator, rode to the basement level pharmacy and then back up to the ground floor in relative silence, both happy just to be together.

Kate's SUV sat in the closest lot and she unlocked Sam's door and tossed his bag into the back seat.

He grabbed her before she made it around to the driver's side. His arms on either side of her, pinning her to the door, then he smiled. "You know. I really, really have missed you." He pressed his hips forward, into her belly to make his point.

She shook her head, smiling innocently up at him even while she moved slightly against him. "Didn't you hear a thing Lucy just told you?"

Sam shook his head, his hands dropped to Kate's hips. "Not really…I was looking at you…thinking bout this," He pulled her closer, "…the entire time. I know she said something about antibiotics and stitches out in three days, but basically that's all I got." He brushed his nose along her ear and breathed out. "God…I need you…"

Kate shivered and nodded. "Me too, baby, but listen. Really, you're supposed to avoid 'strenuous activity' for five to seven days. I'm pretty sure what you have in mind falls under that category." She pulled back, trying to catch her breath. "Come on, it's cold and I want to show you something."

Sam groaned. He was so frustrated. Ever since Logan had done her whole spiritual healing thing he'd been hyped up, completely single minded. Even after jacking off…twice, in the shower this morning, he still only wanted to crawl into bed with Kate and spend the rest of the day there.

He took a deep breath and nodded. "'Kay, let's go."

Kate started the truck and smiled as she slipped on her sunglasses. Reaching over she opened the glove box, pulled another pair out and handed them to Sam. "You might want these."

He smiled back and slipped them on, "Thanks, been cooped up inside too long."

She nodded and put the vehicle into gear before tossing her IPod into his lap. "Find us something to listen to, will you."

He snorted, but plugged the player into the jack and started scrolling through the playlists.

"Something funny?" She glanced at him before checking traffic and pulling out of the parking lot.

Sam shook his head and settled on the song _Alone Tonight_ by Washington Lane. He smirked, "I'm just used to shutting my cakehole when I'm riding shotgun."

"Huh?"

"Nothing," He shook his head with a wide smile, "just one of Dean's idiotic rules…So, where we going?"

"Well, if I told you it would ruin the surprise."

"You never said it was a surprise." He smiled and rested his hand on her knee before sliding it up her thigh.

"Hands to yourself Samuel, I'm trying to drive over here." Kate looked at him over the top of her glasses before glancing back to the road.

He sighed and pulled his hand back into his own lap. He looked out the window. "Hey, some guy stopped by and invited me to dinner." He looked over to Kate, "said he was a friend of yours."

Kate nodded. "Greg Walsh, pastor, chaplain and friend. Hope you don't mind dinner tonight." She glanced at him then back to the road.

Sam shook his head, eyebrows drawn together. "Don't mind, he seems, um…interesting?"

She laughed. "Yeah, I guess Greg is interesting. Not exactly what you expect from a chaplain is he?"

"No, but I liked him. He says he knew my father." Sam's voice took on a far away quality.

She eyed him across the seat. "Is that a good thing?"

He turned toward her with a nod. "Yeah, why wouldn't it be?"

She shrugged. "I've just never heard you or your brother talk too much about your dad."

Sam fell silent and stared out the window. After a minute, he cleared his throat. "Dad and me, we never really got along real well. I loved him, I miss him and I'd give anything hear him yell at me one more time."

Kate reached out and grabbed Sam's hand. She gave it a squeeze. "I'm sorry."

He flashed a quick smile and shook his head. "It's alright…anyway, so Greg?"

"Greg is married to my friend Lori. You'll like her; she's not exactly someone you'd picture Greg with."

"Meaning?"

"Well, she's my age, she's a total country-n-western kinda girl, she doesn't own a single black t-shirt, she doesn't have a tattoo and her ears aren't even pierced."

"Total opposites then?"

She nodded, barked out a laugh and snorted, "Except for their belief in God they're black and white…but they love each other and they're best friends."

He smiled at her. "He's a bit unusual for a pastor."

"You mean all the tattoos, piercings and metal t-shirts? Yeah, I suppose that is unusual." The SUV slowed and stopped as Kate waited for the traffic to clear so she could turn left. Once she made the turn, she continued, "But if you ask me it's his love for others, his compassion, his desire for justice, and his attitude of service that make him truly unusual."

He chuckled, "So, you like him then?"

"Yeah, I like him." She rolled her eyes. "He's a great guy and he makes Lori happy."

Kate made a right turn down a narrow, two-lane road that was pitted and uneven. The four wheel drive digging in.

Sam caught sight of an old sign, the paint so faded he couldn't make it out. "Where exactly are you taking me?"

Kate lowered her sunglasses and winked. "We're almost there. Trust me, you'll enjoy it."

A few minutes later, they passed a car going the opposite direction; Kate honked and waved when the other car did the same.

"You know them?"

"Don't think so." Kate looked in the rearview mirror and then shrugged.

The road came to a dead-end and Kate turned the truck around and put it in park. She turned to look at Sam and smiled before reaching into the back seat and dragging a bag over the seat. She pulled off her sunglasses, and opened her door.

"Come on." She slammed her door shut and moved to the front of the car, waiting for Sam.

He climbed out of his seat and met Kate just as she started down a path into the woods. He caught up with her about ten feet down the path. The trail was packed, and every so often when the trail dipped, rough-hewn logs acted as steps.

Kate smiled over her shoulder and then looped her arm through Sam's. "Any guesses?"

He glanced around, noticed the fog that was lying heavy over the area as they descended the trail. The air was warmer, thicker and heavy with the scent of sulfur.

His eyebrows rose and a wide, genuine smile lit his face, "A hot spring?"

She nodded, stopping on the trail and pulling off her scarf. She wrapped it around a branch, ignoring his raised eyebrow. Then she tugged at Sam's arm, pulling him with her down a smaller path. Two steps down and the heat hit them.

A small pool, no bigger than a small hot tub, was in the small clearing. Someone had taken the time to ring the pool with rocks and on the far side, a felled tree acted as a bench. It was quiet except for the occasional sound from the pool or small animal in the woods.

Kate made her way to the "bench" and dropped the duffel beside it, but close to the edge of the pool before sitting down to start working her boots off.

"Come on, we didn't come here just to look at it." She winked at him and set her boots aside, tucking her socks inside. She shivered as she stood to unbutton her jeans before sliding them down her legs.

Sam swallowed as he watched her strip. Her vest and sweater followed then her tank top and bra. She stood naked except for her panties and then with a wicked smile she worked those down her hips, eyes on Sam's the entire time. She shivered again and wrapped her arms around herself.

"Seriously Sam, it's cold out here…I'm getting in. I suggest you do the same." She winked and eased her left foot into the steamy pool. It took her time to become accustomed and then she added her right foot and stepped fully into the spring.

He watched the murky water lap at her knees, and then as she moved deeper, he watched it creep up her thighs. He moved to the log and started pulling his clothes off in a hurried rush.

She watched him pull his jeans down only to realize his boots were still tied. When he cursed, she giggled and continued to work herself lower in the water. She found the long flat stone along the edge and sank down onto it, fully immersing everything except her head and the tops of her shoulders.

He pulled his shirt over his head, tossed it to the ground and moved into the pool. He grimaced as his foot sank into the water. "It's hotter than I thought it would be." He smiled as he lowered himself into the steamy water and moved toward Kate.

She nodded. "It's about one-hundred ten degrees year round." She pulled him down beside her.

Sam slid his arms around her shoulders and leaned back against the side of the small pool, resting his head on the rocks. He sighed as the heat sank into his sore muscles. "You don't know how good this feels."

Kate turned and watched his face. He looked relaxed. She snuggled against him. "My grandmother thought the springs were a gift from the Great Spirit." She moved her hands through the water before lifting them and letting it drip from her fingers over Sam's shoulders and upper chest. "She would always drag Chevy and me up here after we were sick. She'd always say, '_Haliksa'I_ Katrin, you and Cheveyo remember this and when you are well enough after you are sick you come here. You bathe and you rest and then you pray and thank the Spirit that breath still moves in your chest. The waters from the earth purify you. Just remember to honor the Spirit before you leave. It is our way, Katrin. _Haliksa'I_, and remember…always remember.'" She shrugged and smiled at Sam. "I still remember and I owe the Spirit for keeping the breath moving in your chest." Her fingers trailed over the muscles of his chest.

He smiled and moved his hand to the back of her head to gently pull her lips to his. He kissed her gently and massaged the back of her neck. He shifted and pulled her onto his lap, one hand sliding softly up the outside of her leg to her hip in a long ticklish stroke making her squirm against him.

She pulled back and caught the heavy need in Sam's eyes. Her hand caught at the one on her hip. "Thought I told you that was off limits." Her voice was teasing and she leaned forward to kiss him lightly on the forehead. "Don't you listen to your doctors?"

He shook his head, "I'm a bad patient." He winked and lifted her by her hips as he turned her to straddle his lap. "Which reminds me…don't you owe me a bed bath?"

Kate giggled, even as she shivered in the cold of the air. She leaned down in an effort to get more of her body under the water. "I haven't forgotten, but what good nurse wouldn't follow doctor's orders?" She leveled a semi-serious look at him.

Sam growled and leaned up to catch a nipple with his mouth. He suckled and teased the cold hardened nub with his teeth and tongue before answering. His eyebrow cocked up, "I thought you promised to be a naughty nurse…I had plenty of good nurses." He thrust up gently, brushing his hard cock against her soft bottom. "I want one to misbehave with me…" He moved up again and groaned at the contact. "I want to get down and dirty with her." He shook his head, "That thought has been driving me nuts for the past two day."

She gasped as he brushed against her and her hands moved to his shoulders. She couldn't keep from moving against him, letting him slide against her swollen flesh and she moaned quietly as her head fell to his shoulder, her lips to his ear. "I don't want to hurt you."

Her breath in his ear caused goose bumps to break out down his arms. The heat from the pool, the cold of the air and the sensation of her body against his was one huge sensual onslaught. The fact that they were outside, in the middle of the woods with the possibility that someone might come along only added to his arousal.

He nuzzled the side of her neck. "Kate, listen to me." When she didn't lift her head, only continued to tease his neck with her tongue and short, quick bites of her teeth, he pulled her away with a moan. Her eyes were dark, half-lidded and muddled. He smiled because he knew it was because of him.

"Hmm?" She purred and leaned into his lips. Her tongue traced his bottom lip before sliding inside. "I know…need to stop…" Her hands gripped his hair and she moaned when he growled into her mouth and began to return her kiss with abandon.

They were both lost to the sensation, the need and the overwhelming desire to come together. Hands, lips and bodies touched, found and reacquainted themselves as they moved frantically with and against each other. Reality crashed down around them when they heard voices on the path.

Kate pulled back suddenly, one hand on Sam's chest, holding him away as she sat panting and looking back toward the small path they had come through. She groaned when a teasing female voice called through the snow covered pines.

"Having fun in there?" A chorus of laughter followed. "You know we'll be able to see you from the next pool, hope you like an audience."

Kate gripped Sam's arm. "Jerks." She said softly as she looked at Sam. "I'm sure I told you how much I hate when the college kids descend." She moved from his lap when he nodded and then settled herself beside him. "I hate that they've even started taking over the hidden springs too."

Sam wiped a hand over his face and ground his teeth in frustration. "Can they really see from the next pool?" His voice was tense, his words short as he squinted off into the distance.

She nodded. "Sort of, this is the most hidden of the four small pools, and you have to really try to see much more than a glimpse, but if that's what they want to do, they'll be able to do it." She stretched out, her toes reaching across the pool, missing the other edge by about six inches. "That's why I left my scarf. That way everyone knows that this pool is occupied." She shrugged. "It doesn't mean we were gonna get busy, just that we wanted privacy. The locals would have just walked past without comment and found their own pool." She shook her head. "Damn kids."

He sighed. "I'm going to die."

That made Kate giggle, "I don't think I've heard that since high school." She winked. "Trust me, I'm a medical professional, I promise you won't die."

"Yeah, well it sure as hell feels like it. I'm short of breath, can't think past touching you and tasting you, fucking you…" His voice trailed off in a breathy groan as Kate wrapped her hand around his cock. "God, that feels so…don't stop...please"

She watched his face as she stroked him with her hand, kneeling before him on the silty bottom of the pool, her back toward the direction of the other pool. She leaned forward to bite his collarbone as she stroked him up and down.

Sam's head fell back on his shoulder and he groaned softly as he thrust up into Kate's skilled hands. He fought the urge to drag them both from the water, lay her down and bury himself as deep as he could. Instead he lifted his head and concentrated on the sexy woman before him.

Her breasts just broke the surface of the water, small beads of sweat dappled her forehead as her fingers teased and played over him. Her teeth grazed his nipple and he whimpered as fire shot down his belly. He thrust hard into her hand and came with a low, throaty sound.

Kate smiled and continued to softly stroke him, even as he softened in her hand. She leaned forward and kissed him gently as he wrapped her up in his arms. "Still feeling close to death?" She asked with a soft laugh and rested her forehead against his.

He pulled back and shook his head. "You are truly my angel of mercy." He ran his hands down her back to her hips and smiled seductively. "Let me return the favor." He slid a hand down to nestle between her legs, one long finger teasing softly. "Gotta make sure you're not hovering at death's door too."

Her snort became a small whine and her head fell onto his shoulder even as she shifted her legs apart, giving him more room. Her hands gripped his sides, kneading like a kitten against the hard muscles. "Doesn't feel like I'm dying…" She panted when he slid two fingers inside, letting his thumb play against her clit, "just like I'll burn up." She began to move against his fingers.

A hand slid up from her hip to cup her breast and he rolled her nipple between her fingers. A wicked grin on his face when he asked, "Helping?"

She shook her head, moving more intently against him, her breathing irregular and sharp. She threw her head back and bit at her lower lip to keep quiet. Her mind was a whirl of need and emotion, words seemed too hard to form. Her own hand moved to where his was on her breast and she touched herself as he did.

Sam pulled his hand from beneath hers and then covered hers with it. "God, Kate…that's sexy…" He couldn't pull his eyes from the sight of her teasing her nipple as he massaged lightly. He continued to work her with his fingers, a steady in and out rhythm that she matched with her hips. He lifted his hand from her breast and traced the backs of his fingers up her chest and throat, letting his fingertips dance lightly over her moist skin. He completely enjoyed the little sounds that came from her throat.

She moved; hips picking up the pace as the pressure and heat built. She felt Sam cup her chin and let her head fall forward to watch his face. When he traced her bottom lip with his thumb she pulled it into her mouth with a soft moan, her eyes locking with his as she laved it with her tongue.

He smiled and moved his fingers, curving them upward, looking for that secret, hidden spot deep inside. He knew he did when gasped. His voice low and seductive, "You're close Kate…" He leaned forward, pulling his thumb from her mouth as his lips found her ear. "I can feel it…tension and god, baby you just got so wet…you're gonna come hard for me aren't you?" He growled when she all but sobbed and her nails pressed into his side.

The muscles of her stomach quivered, and she nodded, eyes wild as she bucked against him. "Keep talking…please, Sam…god, makes me so hot."

He chuckled. "You like it don't you? Me fucking you with my fingers…feeling me inside you this way…wishing it were my cock, don't you baby?" He swirled his fingers, felt her holding on, not willing to crash yet. "Oh, you're holding out on me. I feel it Kate, you're quivering, so damn wet for me." He teased her ear with his tongue. "Mmm, just let go…let me feel you fall apart around my fingers, baby…" Soft, but potent he whispered, "come for me Katrin…"

With a moan, her head fell back and she suddenly arched completely into his hand as her hands found his shoulders to anchor herself from the storm that broke over her. She whimpered when his fingers continued to tease and thrust. It was too much and she tried to pull away from the assault on her oversensitive flesh. "Please…"

"Please what, Kate?" Sam slowed his fingers, but curled them deep inside again as his thumb circled over her clit. "I'm not finished with you…" He pulled her against his chest with a laugh. He kissed her unhurriedly and then pulled back with a low laugh, when she started to move against him again. "Thought you were done?"

She watched his eyes, "Jerk…" She answered with a soft sighing sound and a smile even as she began to move with a determined purpose.

"You're so fucking beautiful, baby. Can't get enough of watching you come for me…" He leaned forward and sucked at her neck, marking her. He pulled his fingers from her and smiled when she whimpered and tried to follow them. "Shh, I've got you." He lifted her, turned her around and settled her onto his lap, facing away. He slid his hand back around and inside her. "Better?"

Kate growled, felt his hard cock pressing against her back and rested her head back onto his shoulder, thrusting up and into his fingers. "Fuk…yssss."

"Don't suppose you have a single condom in that bag do you?" He whispered against her ear, fingers playing her as his other hand cupped her breast.

"No, didn't want to be tempted…" She panted and moved counter to his hand.

"Shit…" He thrust himself against her ass. "Like fucking high school…" He smiled into her neck, watching his hand on her breast. "Touch yourself for me Kate."

She did, her hand drifted below the water and she rubbed at her clit as she thrust onto his fingers. "Close…please…"

Sam moved against her, watching her, wishing he could lay her down and thrust inside her. "You're killing me…so sexy…" He bit at her ear, growled and rolled his hips. "Want to be inside you so bad…need you baby…that's it."

She turned her head toward him, kissed his jaw. "Later, I'll make it up, promise…" Her breath caught, "Need…gonna…god, yess…" He voice rose in a low, drawn out keen that shattered the quiet around them.

Sam felt her come and pulled his hands from her to grip her hips. He moved against the curve of her backside with one purpose. He watched as Kate teased her own breasts, tongue tracing his jaw and then he thrust hard and emptied himself onto her back with a low grunt. He felt her smile against his neck.

"You really are going to kill me." He chuckled and pulled her to his chest, kissing her passionately.

She shook her head when the kiss broke. "Never."

They stayed like that for a few seconds before a clear shout broke the silence. "Way to go man…way to make her squeal." This was followed by a short round of applause and several catcalls and shouts.

Sam laughed when Kate blushed and started with the indignant and angry sputtering. He tilted his head back and shouted, "Thanks man, glad we could entertain."

Kate turned at him, arms crossed over her chest in anger. "That is just wrong…see how long it is before you get lucky again."

He smiled and pulled at her ankle playfully, "Don't think so baby. I've got your kink now."

Her eyebrow shot up. "Huh?"

Sam pulled her into his arms, mouth hovering above hers. His voice dropped, quiet and sultry, "You like that don't you, baby…get's you all hot when I talk sexy and dirty to you…tell you I'm gonna slide inside you and fuck you senseless…slow and steady, in and out…" He laughed low and sinful when he felt her shiver in his arms. "Yeah, gets you all wet doesn't it? Makes you want me to fuck you right now."

Kate pulled back and watched his face. "So what? You have nurse fantasies."

Sam laughed and nodded. "And you owe me. You so owe me, Katrin Elizabeth Ross…"

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

A while later they dried with towels Kate produced from the duffel she'd brought with her and dressed. Before they left she pulled a large handmade clay bowl and a linen wrapped bundle from the bag.

Sam's eyebrow shot up.

Kate smiled. "A blessing and thanks to the Spirit." She unwrapped the bundle and placed the smudging stick into the bowl before digging through the bag for something.

Sam lifted the stick to his nose. "Cedar and sage?"

She nodded. "For cleansing and blessing."

Sam was no stranger to smudging. He's seen it done to bless a house after a haunting or poltergeist. He'd never personally done it, but he knew the basic principle.

Kate lit the bundle of dried herbs, letting it flame for a bit before waving it in the air to put out the flame. She waved it a few more seconds to fan the embers then placed it gently in the bowl. While it smoldered she pulled out a beautiful, hand woven blanket and reverently laid it over her shoulders. She turned to Sam. "Sit."

Sam dropped down onto the log and watched Kate.

She picked up the bowl and brought it close to her lips. "My breath, my gift, my thanks." She blew into the bowl, making the stick smoke.

Then she held the bowl in the same way to Sam.

He looked up at her and when she nodded, he repeated her words and actions. "My breath, my gift, my thanks." Then he blew into the bowl.

Kate smiled and moved away, bowl before her as she faced the east. She lifted the stick, held it up. "I invoke the light of the Spirit. I invoke the power of its protection. I invoke the peace of its blessing."

She moved around the small clearing and repeated the words for each of the remaining directions. Then she stood in the center and held the bowl over her head.

Sam watched as her lips moved, but he heard no words, though two tears tracked down her face. He frowned, but she smiled and lowered the bowl, then moved toward him. She pulled the blanket from her shoulders and carefully folded it and laid it out on the ground. She placed the bowl on the log and then lifted the smudge stick, waving it around in the air before placing it back into the bowl and collecting the smoke in her hands and "washing" it over her face and down her body. She did this four times and then stood.

"Your turn." She pointed to the blanket.

Sam stood, knelt and then repeated Kate's actions.

When he finished he stood and faced her. Again, there were tears on her face and he cupped her cheeks gently, wiping them away.

"You alright?" He asked softly.

She nodded. "Never better."

"Why tears?"

She shrugged. "This," she motioned to the still smoking herbs, "reminds me of family." She lifted her arms to his shoulders, but dropped her eyes. "Thank you."

He nudged her chin until she looked back at him. "For what?"

"For doing this with me." She nuzzled her cheek into his palm. "I've never done this with a boyfr…well with anyone that wasn't family, or well extended family."

Sam nodded. Boyfriend. He hadn't been anyone's boyfriend since, well for a very long time. He wasn't sure it was possible. Hunting didn't really fit with relationships. "I'm honored." He smiled and gently kissed her.

Kate kissed him back. She seen the uncertainty in his eyes, knew they'd be leaving soon. She'd talked with Logan, knew that Dean was getting restless to get on the road. She didn't want Sam to leave. She felt that they could actually have something more. She ended the kiss with a sigh.

"It's okay, Sam. I know you can't stay forever…I wish you could and I'm going to miss you like hell when you're gone, but I knew from the start that your life wasn't here." She shrugged. "I'll take what I can get."

She stepped back to avoid the emotion she didn't want to see on Sam's face and busied herself by picking up the bowl. She ground out the smudging stick and laid it aside.

"Damned smoke." She wiped at her eyes, and turned away so he wouldn't see the tears on her face. She dipped a finger into the ash in the bowl and smeared the dark substance over the center of her throat. Then she did the same to Sam's throat before she sprinkled the ash to the ground.

She wrapped the, now cool, smudge stick in the small piece of linen and then put it and the bowl back into the duffel. She picked up the blanket and shook it out. She folded it into the duffel and zipped it. After wiping her eyes one last time, she smiled up at Sam.

He frowned, pulled the bag from the ground and hiked it up onto his shoulder. He grabbed Kate's hand. "I'm sorry. I really am."

She nodded. "'S'okay, let's go. It's almost time for dinner."

_**Okay, so you know I'm always asking for a review and this is where I do it. Reviews feed the muse and a well fed muse is a happy muse. A happy muse...well she inspires me much more than an unhappy one ;)**_


	81. Stomach the Hurt and Break for Him

Kate and Sam arrived at the Walsh's house at five. Kate presented Lori with a bottle of wine and then asked if it would be okay for them to shower. Lori laughed and nodded telling Kate since she'd prefer her not to smell like rotten eggs of course she didn't mind and then she pushed them down the hall, grabbing towels from the closet as they went.

Sam smiled and blushed before asking where Greg and Bobby were. "I saw the old man's truck outside, so I was wondering."

Lori rolled her eyes, "They took the boys out to Greg's office in the garage. Talking business I'm sure." Then she was off to check on dinner, open the wine and get things ready.

Sam was just finishing towel drying his hair as Kate pulled on her shirt when they heard Dean's voice boom up the hallway asking where he was. Sam smiled at Kate. "He'll be in here if I don't stop him."

Kate winked, "I'll only be a few more minutes. I'm just going to dry my hair and pull it back."

Sam frowned and shook his head. "Leave it down."

Kate smiled shyly at him, but nodded. "If you want."

"Good." He kissed her forehead and moved out of the room.

Two small bodies dodged him as they ran up the hall, giggling and screaming. Sam flattened himself against the wall with a good-natured smile as the boys took off toward the kitchen.

Greg calling behind them, "Luke, Micah, slow down."

"They're boys. Nothing you say is ever gonna make 'em slow down." Bobby and Greg moved up the hall.

Bobby paused by Sam and smiled. "This one and his brother were terrors with a capital T, but they came out alright…I guess." He nudged Sam's arm, "Come on boy, can't stand in the hall all day, now can you?"

Sam smiled and shook his head. "No, but don't go blaming me and Dean for all the trouble we got into. I remember you putting us up to all kinds of things to drive Dad nuts."

The three men moved toward the kitchen, Bobby laughing. "Yeah, suppose you're right, but you have to admit. Seeing John Winchester's face that one day when I had you and your brother empty all his ammo into one big box, or the day you replaced his salt for sugar and the trunk of the car was swarming with ants."

Greg chuckled and Bobby broke down in a fit of laughter.

"Funny for you, maybe. You weren't the one who had to separate all the ammunition back into its rightful boxes…five times, because every time we'd finish he'd dump it all back into that freaking box." Sam smiled and shook his head. "Don't even get me started on the sugar replacement."

Dean barked a laugh. "Oh, Bobby, we so still owe you for that. Every time Dad found an ant in the car for the next year…every time, Bobby..." he eyed the old hunter with a mixture of irritation and affection. "Not only did we get to run five miles, regardless of weather, we also got to clean the car top to bottom, reorganize the trunk, do the laundry…Hell if I woulda known that one prank was going to cause us so much grief…" he smiled and cuffed Bobby lightly on the arm.

Sam made his way to Dean's side and slouched against the counter beside him. "Thanks for watching over me, bro." He said quietly and sincerely.

Dean leaned against Sam's arm for a millisecond, barely connecting, and then he shrugged. ""S'what family does." He looked at Sam, smiled, nodded and lightly punched his bicep. "You look good, man, helluva lot better than you should after all that."

Sam nodded. "Yeah, well blame that on whatever Logan did…" he shrugged and held up his previously casted wrist. "I made them take the cast off. They couldn't tell me it was still broken and, hell, I wasn't walking around with a perfectly good arm casted."

Greg watched from across the room. "Faith and hope."

Dean shot the older man a glance and shrugged, "Yeah, and a little mojo from Logan."

"How the Lord chooses to work isn't up to us. We place our faith in him and he works out the details." Greg leveled his eyes on the eldest Winchester. "Don't think for a second he didn't know what was going on, who would be there and how they might help. Your faith was rewarded."

Just then, Lori bustled into the room, carrying a blond four year old. Kate was just behind her, holding the hand of a darker haired six year old who was chatting non-stop about something she seemed very interested in hearing.

The little voice excitedly telling her, "…and you know what Daddy's teaching me, Aunt Katie? He showed me how to clean and load the shotgun and then he told me he'll teach me how to shoot it in maybe a couple of years." He paused, deep in thought. "That's like forever, but Daddy says it'll fly by…" He stopped when he saw Dean and Sam.

Kate smiled down at him. "Luke, this is Sam." She led the boy to Sam, who knelt down to shake the kid's hand.

"Nice to meet you Luke." Sam gave him a broad smile and took his hand.

"Wow, you're tall." He cocked his head to the side. "Do you play basketball?"

Dean chuckled, only stopping when Sam glared up at him, then he dropped down beside his brother. "Hey little man, I'm Dean. The giant here is my brother." He leaned close to Luke's ear, "He's not really good at basketball and he doesn't like to be reminded about it." He winked at the boy.

Sam snorted and glared at his brother.

Luke nodded, "Got it." He cocked his head to the side and looked from Dean to Sam. He pointed to Sam, but spoke to Dean. "So, he's the big brother like I am."

Sam laughed and stood as he ruffled the boy's hair.

Dean huffed and stared at Luke who just stared back at him with big round eyes.

Kate giggled, lifted the boy and sat him on the counter before snuggling herself between him and Sam. "Actually Luke, Dean's older than Sam." She then bent to his ear, "BUT, he doesn't like being reminded that his little brother is bigger than him."

Luke nodded sagely, "Oh…" he looked over to Lori and Micah, "Mikey better not get bigger than me…" He turned to Dean, who stood on the other side of Sam. He nodded again and crossed his arms in seriousness, "Yeah, that would probably piss me off too."

Lori gasped, "Luke Gregory Walsh, what have I told you about using that word?"

Luke dropped his head, "Sorry Mama."

Dean and Sam both tried not to smile.

Kate nudged them both when they weren't successful.

Greg plucked his son from the counter. "Hey, it's alright buddy, but why don't you take Micah into the living room and watch TV until dinner's ready?"

Luke's eyes rounded with excitement. "Really? We already watched an hour." He looked over to Lori. When she nodded, he squirmed in his father's arms until his feet were on the ground, then he grabbed Micah's hand when Lori put him down. "Come on Mikey, fore they change their minds." He pulled his little brother out the door toward the living room.

Lori turned to Greg, "I wish you wouldn't use that word around him. It sounds so crass coming from a six year old boy."

Greg shook his head and wrapped his arms around his wife as he pulled her back against his chest. He leaned down and kissed her cheek. "I'm sorry. Don't be mad at me." He nibbled at her ear and added quietly, but loud enough for everyone to hear. "I'll make it up to you later."

Lori gasped and blushed. "Greg!"

Kate giggled while Sam and Dean only managed to pull off an awkward look.

Sam cleared his throat, "Hey, where's Logan?"

Dean glanced at his brother. "She's not feeling good; say's she has a headache or something." He motioned to Lori, "Lori's got her laying down in the guestroom."

"She okay?"

Dean shrugged. "I think so. She just started complaining about it on the way here. She was fine before that."

Kate pushed away from the counter, "I'll go check on her." She looked back to Sam and smiled when he nodded.

Kate made her way through the living room, pausing for a second to watch as Luke fetched Micah's favorite blanket from the floor and tucked it around him before settling onto the couch with him. She smiled when he kissed the top of his brother's head and then frowned at the small catch in her gut. She swallowed the lump in her throat and moved down the hall.

The guest room was the last in the hall and she quietly opened the door and peeked in.

Logan lay curled on her side, arms wrapped tightly around her stomach. Small sounds of pain were coming from the bed.

Kate moved quickly into the room, "Logan?" Her voice was quiet as she hurried to the bed and sat down. She touched Logan's shoulder. Power jolted up her arm, buzzing in her head and she pulled her hand away with a gasp.

"Logan, what is it?" She stood, and moved around the bed a little unsteadily. Nausea rolling in her own gut as the remnants of whatever she'd felt left her dizzy. She shook her head and grabbed the footboard to steady herself. Sudden, intense fear rushed her senses when she saw Logan's face.

"My god, Logan…what the hell?"

Logan's eyes were wide, dark pupils huge in their pale irises her gaze sat fixed on something only she could see. She was shaking, and bloody saliva ran from the corner of her mouth.

Kate reached a hand toward her, but stopped. "Logan, what is it you see?"

The other woman stopped shaking, her eyes still staring off into the distance. "Kate?"

"It's me, Logan. What the hell is going on?"

Her voice was small, "Don't know, but it hurts." She took a shuddering breath and gripped her gut. "So much pain, too much…"

Kate frowned. "You're in pain? Your stomach?"

"Not me. Him, them…all of them. The suffering, oh God, how do they do it?" She sobbed, unblinking. "He can't hold on, he breaks…oh no, no, no." She stiffened, back arching, bowed in the bed and then she shuddered as she fell back.

Her eyes now closed, she was still, so still.

Kate gasped and tentatively reached for Logan's neck. Her pulse was slow, but there. She jumped when Logan drew in a deep, stuttering breath. Kate sat beside her and began to look her methodically over. Other than the small trickle of blood from her mouth, nothing seemed unusual.

"Logan? Answer me."

Her eyes blinked open and then she slammed them shut with a groan, "Fuck…feel like shit."

"What the hell was that?"

"Don't know." She rubbed at her head, "Started with a headache, then just went on from there."

"What went on?"

She gagged and swallowed, "Some kind of vision thing."

Knowing she probably didn't really want to know, she asked quietly, "What did you see?"

Logan pushed herself upright and swayed, until Kate's hand gripped her shoulder to steady her. "Don't remember." She lied, remembering everything; every second of it in living, three-dimensional color with Dolby surround sound. Every terrible detail of it indelibly marked forever in her mind. She cleared her throat and wiped at her eyes before dragging her sleeve over her mouth.

Avoiding Kate's eyes, she stood, forcing herself to stay steady. "Can't remember any of it." She moved past the other woman, "I'm going to rinse my mouth out."

"Logan?

She didn't stop, just moved out the door to the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

She stared at herself in the mirror and let the tears fall.

_**Okay, so not much this chapter...moving the story forward. As usual, let me know your thoughts. My muse and I appreciate it! Thanks to everyone for reading, reviewing and adding to alerts and favorites. **_


	82. Taste and See

She stared at herself; searched the face she knew so well for the truth and wished she didn't see it. The loud knocking and voice on the other side of the door were lost in the loud rushing sound in her ears. The sound resonated, echoed in a way that she could almost understand, but that was somehow painful. She gripped the sides of her head and swayed.

Moving quickly, she turned to the toilet and vomited violently, every muscle in her body tensing. Offhand, she wished she could empty the dark images from her mind as easily as she could the bitter contents of her stomach. She retched once more before straightening and turning to the sink. She ran the water, rinsed her mouth and swallowed as the bile rose in her throat again. Images flashed behind her closed eyes and she shivered, whimpering as she curled into herself. She let herself slide to the floor as the door swung open.

Greg stood aside and Dean pushed into the room.

"Logan?" Dean knelt down beside her and hesitantly touched her shoulder. When he didn't feel anything unusual, he pulled her against his chest and lifted her easily. He shouldered past Greg and Sam, and took her back to the room she'd just left. Once he had her settled on the bed, he stood.

Bobby found his way into the room. "Logan? Girl are you alright?"

There was no response from the form on the bed. She lay loose and quiet on the bed, eyes open and staring vacantly at the wall.

Dean turned to the doorway, where Kate, Greg and Sam stood. His eyes showed his confusion, his uncertainty and his worry. He caught Kate's gaze. "What did she say?"

She shrugged. "I told you." Her eyes dropped to Logan, before rising back to Dean's face. "Once she was 'awake' she denied everything and told me she didn't remember." She swallowed. "I'm pretty sure she's lying since before she really came to she was talking about how much pain they were in and something about someone breaking."

Bobby sat beside his niece. "Who?"

Kate shrugged, "Honestly, that's all I got from her." She leaned into Sam. "She said she had a headache and then had a vision. That's all she told me."

Dean ran a hand through his hair as his eyes fell to Bobby, "Any ideas old man?"

Bobby frowned, and brushed hair from his nieces face as a small mewling sound came from her throat. "Amanda had a few like this." He glanced over his shoulder. "When she had her spells, she'd wander off inside her head for awhile and scare the living tar outa us all."

"Can we do anything?"

The old hunter shook his head. "Not really, just wait it out." He motioned toward the bed with his chin. "Her mother would usually come out of it in a half hour or so."

Sam frowned into the room. Something was nagging at him, a small growling deep in his mind. A buzz or whine, just under the surface of his thoughts; static.

Bobby began motioning everyone out of the room. "Let's just give her some space. Let he be. If she's not back with us in an hour we'll worry."

Dean set his jaw in a stubborn tilt, but one look from Bobby had him caving. He moved into the hall and toward the kitchen, Kate following behind him.

Sam stood by the door watching Logan, refusing to move, even when Bobby put his hand on his arm and started tugging. "Give me a few minutes, Bobby." He eyed the older man and waited for him to argue.

"Why?"

"I don't know." Sam's face showed his confusion, his need to find the answer. "Something tells me I need to be here." He shrugged. "I can feel it."

Bobby nodded and after a squeeze to Sam's shoulder, he moved up the hall.

Sam slid into the room and quietly closed the door. He settled himself on the bed, back against the headboard and waited. He let his eyes drift shut, let the static wash over him and without concentrated effort, his breathing began to match the rise and fall of Logan's chest. His hand slid across the bed and he grasped the fingers of her left hand.

Logan started at the touch, but otherwise didn't acknowledge his presence.

Sam, on the other hand, immediately felt the connection. The static died down and the buzz became ideas, thoughts and images. He gasped and his head rocked back against the wall with a light thump. He struggled to decipher the jumbled thoughts of the sudden pain and terror that filled his mind.

Fingers gripped his tightly. Her voice was low, "Too much pain, so much power." She felt the pain slither over them both as the power burst to life deep inside the man beside her

He nodded, unable to form the words he wanted to use to express his thoughts. His eyes rolled as the pain built at the back of his neck, tearing up to claw into his skull. He bit his tongue and blood pooled into his mouth as the black pooled deep in his gut. He felt it bubble up from somewhere deep inside; suddenly filling a void he hadn't known existed.

He swallowed, the pain lessened, but Logan's grip on his hand increased when he tried to pull it away.

"Don't. More to see, to know." She shivered and moved, rolling so that she was beside Sam and then she moved over him, legs on either side of his. She gripped his head, hands on his cheeks. Her head lowered, and she pressed her forehead to his. "See. Taste. Feel. Know..."

Sam's eyes shot wide and he was staring into the pale blue of Logan's. He watched them swirl, felt her thumbs as they pressed below his eyes and over his cheekbones.

Her voice quiet and soft, "_Seek__me__, and you will find __me__, when you search for __me__ with all your heart."_

Then he saw; watched them die, watched them hurt and cry for mercy. Tears pricked at his eyes and sorrow gathered silently in his throat.

Her head was cocked to the side and she watched him as if she'd never seen him before. She studied his face before her eyes moved down to his chest. Her head fell back for a second and she sighed deep into the room. Energy crackled with her movement. "So powerful." Her head fell forward, her pale eyes once again on his.

Her lips just above his, she whispered, "_Taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the man that trusts in him_."

Logan's lips descended on Sam's. She pressed painfully against his mouth, when he gasped in shock, her tongue pushed forward, catching on his teeth, spilling blood to mix with his own.

Too shocked to move at first, he sat there. First, her mouth, then her tongue, but when he tasted her blood and felt the bittersweet, barely contained power of it. When it thrilled him more than he would ever admit, even to himself, his hands found her forearms and he tried to push her away. He tried to turn his head, tried to pull back; too pure, too sweet and it left him feeling dirty and wrong. She was strong in ways he couldn't understand. He felt one of her hands drop to his chest, pressing over his heart, fingers splayed. He felt a rush of lust and angled his head in surrender.

She felt his heart hammering below her palm, felt it speed even as she deepened the kiss, and tempered the power singing through her with the sweetness of the experience, the flash of carnal pleasure that swept over her. She pulled back, broke the kiss, delicately pulling his bottom lip with her. A final sweep of her tongue and she sat up. She could feel his obvious desire beneath her, and ignored it as she bridged her hand over his heart. Her fingertips pressed painfully into the hard muscles beneath her warm hand.

Her eyes found his again and she licked the blood from her lips before glancing down at her hand on his chest. Her voice was clear, but quiet. "_Because he feels no quietness in his heart, the Lord will not save anything he desires_."

The pain, the knowledge of it, hit Sam hard. His breath caught in his throat and he would have sworn that his heart, below her hand, paused; it hovered and stuttered before beating again. He felt like his world had just ended. Nothingness. The overwhelming feeling of knowing and he wished right then he were dead. He didn't want to face it; he didn't want to be the only one left fighting, living, dying…

His eyes found hers and her tears scared him. He saw her sorrow and her despair. He watched her shoulders shake in silent grief as her head moved side to side in quiet denial and he realized she was seeing it for the first time herself. This was her revelation also.

She inhaled sharply, sniffing back the tears. Wishing she didn't know, part of her praying it wasn't true, but knowing it was. She reached for his hand and brought it to her own chest, spreading his fingers between her breasts and keeping her hand over his. Her own hand still on his chest, she gave him a small smile.

Sam covered the hand on his chest with his own, actually gripping it tightly and still struggling with what he'd been shown.

Logan let the tears fall as she leaned forward again, lowering her mouth to Sam's ear. Her words barely a whisper as she gripped his hand fiercely. _"Be comforted, and __know__ that as partakers of the sufferings, we will also partake of the consolation."_

A shiver of hope thrummed between them. It wasn't untainted, something was still there, muddying the purity, but it was more than Sam had hoped for. He grasped onto it, held it tight, close, hiding it deep inside. He felt her lips move against his neck, just below his ear and took him a minute to realize she was praying. Her words were soft and sudden against skin slick with he own tears.

Their hands still clasped together between their bodies. Neither moved and Logan's words, though no less rapid or repetitive, became louder, easier to hear and understand. Her flawless Latin flowing through the room, "Deus meus, credo in te, spero in te, amo te super omnia ex tota anima mea, ex toto corde meo, ex totis viribus meis: amo te quia es infinite bonus et dignus qui ameris; et quia amo te, me paeitet ex toto corde te offendisse: miserere mihi peccatori. Amen."

She began to repeat the prayer, but emotion caught in her throat and she stuttered to a stop with a loud hiccup sound.

Sam's arms came up and around her as he pulled her to his chest, letting her cry into his shirt as his own tears ran freely down his face. He rocked her slowly, side to side. A steady swaying as he took up her prayer in English, "My God, I believe in Thee, I hope in Thee. I love Thee above all things with all my soul, with all my heart and with all my strength; I love Thee because Thou art infinitely good and worthy of being loved; and because I love Thee, I repent with all my heart of having offended Thee; have mercy on me, a sinner. Amen."

After several minutes, she lifted her head and wiped at her face. She avoided Sam's eyes as she moved from his lap. She hated knowing, hated that she'd been the one to show Sam. It broke her heart to see the look on his face. She also knew that she'd been unable to remove the blackness completely from Sam's soul. She'd felt it percolate back to life when her power had touched his.

Now, she had to face Dean, knowing that no matter what he was going to die. Lilith or someone else was going to drag him kicking, screaming and fighting to hell. He was going to become a whipping boy, tortured endlessly in ways that no human could have possibly been created to endure. The thought made the gorge rise in her throat and she took a deep breath and swallowed hard. She sat, back to Sam, eyes on the floor as she tried to find a safe place for her thoughts.

Sam watched Logan avoid his eyes and turn her back. He understood. The intimacy of what they both experienced was hanging heavy between them and the things he saw and now knew broke his heart. He wiped his eyes and his fists clenched at his side as uncertainty about what he felt a few minutes ago filled his thoughts. Not sure if it was remnants of Azazel's blood or stray threads of Logan's power.

He flipped his gaze to Logan and concentrated. He waited, focused and when he heard her gasp, he knew it wasn't something he'd imagined.

"Why did you lie to him?" His voice was deadly calm.

Her head swung toward him, "What?"

He saw the confusion and pain in her eyes, but he stood and rounded the bottom of the bed to lean over her. "You told him you pulled it out. You told me you pulled it out." He grabbed her arms firmly and pulled her to her feet. "I don't care why you told me it was gone or what you did to cover it up. What I want to know is why you lied to him."

She shook her head, slowly side to side. "I didn't lie. I thought it was gone. I didn't know." Her voice gained volume and momentum as leftover emotion poured into her anger, "Why would I lie? I had already told him I wouldn't do it. It was the best chance we had to save him." She yanked herself backwards, pulling her arms from Sam's hands. She stood panting as she swiped hair from her eyes and glared up at the tall hunter. "So, why would I lie?"

Sam laughed, the sound low and threatening. He grabbed her arm and yanked her hard against his chest as he lowered his head to her ear. "He won't say it will he? So you're trying to make him feel indebted so he won't toss you out when something younger, sexier or more challenging comes along? You hate not knowing don't you? You're trying to make him love you." He pulled his hands from her as if he were disgusted.

A single tear tracked down her, already wet, cheek and she sighed as defeat rose up inside. "That's not how it is Sam." She looked him in the eye, willed her eyes pale and watched his aura. It wasn't anything evil that pushed him, it was love for his brother and confusion that the power he thought was gone was back.

She sought out the blackness, sensed it was even stronger than before, as if the forced separation had forced it to grow and evolve. She held up her left hand and focused it to the hurt she saw in Sam. With a small mental push, she sent a bolt of healing blue light toward the most damaged section of his aura.

Sam gasped when he felt the warmth hit him and spread, sending a shiver up his spine. "What are you doing?"

She shook her head. "I'm sorry, you're hurt. I didn't lie Sam." She raised her eyes to his again. "I really did think it was gone. I was pulling myself out, slow and steady and then something happened. I had no idea what it was or what it did. Bobby and Kate say I had a seizure, but when I came to and I looked, I couldn't find the darkness I usually see swirling like smoke throughout your aura. It was gone and all I saw were the same clean, bright colors I see when I look at Dean or Bobby, or even Kate." She stepped close enough to touch him and lifted her hand to his cheek. "I was broken when I found out I'd pulled it out of you. You saw that, you saw me fall apart and run. I wasn't faking it. I was devastated that we'd lost."

Sam watched her, and nodded, not entirely sure what he believed. The blackness was there and it was eager to be used. He felt it bouncing around beneath his consciousness like a kid up too early Christmas morning, just waiting for daylight. Waiting to rip and tear and play with pretty toys. The thought made him sick to his stomach.

"Okay, you didn't lie, but Dean's not going to believe it. He'll think you did it to make him happy. He'll hate you for lying."

She swallowed and nodded. "I know." She dropped her hand and stepped back. She wiped her face and straightened her clothes. She blinked, kept her eyes closed for a second too long and when she opened them, they were normal. She reached behind her for the door.

"What are you going to tell him?"

"Right now? Nothing. I'm going out there and we're going to have a nice dinner with Kate's friends."

"And later?"

"The truth - which is I honestly didn't know." She took a deep breath.

He chuckled. "I don't want to be there for that fight."

"There won't be one."

Sam looked at her and shook his head. "Yeah, okay…I've only known him twenty-some years." He rolled his eyes. "It'll be one of those yell, scream and then all silent broody, hurt feeling type fights, but it'll be a fight."

He didn't see the new tears.

"No. There won't be a fight."

Sam snorted, only biting back his comment when Logan held up her hand.

"You saw the future, hell you fucking experienced it with me. You know as well as I do that no matter what we do, he's going to…Dean's, fuck it all…" Her voice trailed off as her throat tightened and closed. She took another deep breath and released it with a long hiss. She finished her sentence in a rush as she moved out the door, "No fight because, well because I'm leaving. I'm going to New Mexico with Bobby."

_**Note: If you wouldn't mind, leave a review. I love to hear from you and so does my muse. Any and all mistakes this chapter are due entirely to my lack of sleep. Swinging shifts has left me unable to sleep and trust me two and a half hours of sleep is only a nap ;) Thanks for all the reviews, adds and comments. If I haven't replied, I will…I'm really tired.**_

_** Plenty of Bible verses this chapter. If you're interested, chapter and verses are below. **_

Jeremiah 29:13_Seek__me__, and you will find __me__, when you search for __me__ with all your heart._

Psalm 34:8_Taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the man that trusts in him._

Job 20:20_Because he feels no quietness in his heart, the Lord will not save anything he desires_.

2 Corinthians 1:7_Be comforted, and __know__ that as partakers of the sufferings, we will also partake of the consolation._


	83. Take it Easy? Yeah, Right!

Logan found everyone else in the living room. They were watching the boys play on the floor and talking. She tucked her hair nervously behind her ears and then cleared her throat with a slight blush.

Bobby stood with a smile and reached for her hand. "You feeling better, girl?"

She nodded, glancing uncertainly at Dean, who sat, eyes on the boys as they played. She glanced back to her uncle. "Um, yeah, just a little shaky."

Dean made a sound in the back of his throat and shifted back into his place on the couch.

Bobby nodded, but frowned when he saw her face, the look in her eyes. He dropped her hand and returned to sit on the hearth where he'd been sitting with Greg, looking through an old text.

Lori smiled and stood in a hurry. "That's perfect, the food should be ready." She motioned to Kate, "Help me out with it Katie?"

She nodded and stood, pausing beside Logan to give her a quick hug, "If you want to talk…" She let her words trail off, her eyes finishing her thoughts.

Logan nodded and squeezed her hand. "I know." She moved into the room, still standing she watched the boys play with their trucks and cars.

Luke pointed to a spot he wanted Micah to put his car and the younger boy ignored his brother and shook his head. He sighed, "Mikey, you got to."

Micah's blond head shook, "Don't have to. Mama says I can play with my cars how I wanna."

"But Mikey, if you don't it messes up the rest of my game."

The little boy shrugged with a pout on his face before he looked up to his father. "Daddy?"

Greg, who was sitting on the floor before the hearth, a book balanced on his knees, glanced up and handed the book to Bobby as he stretched out on his belly to face his sons. "What's going on?" He slid one of the cars across the road on the play carpet. "Looks like you have a traffic jam."

Luke sighed. ""S'what I keep trying to tell him." He pointed to the police car. "Mikey won't move his police cruiser and my delivery truck can't get through."

Greg smiled and eyed the town the boys had laid out with blocks. "Well, is there any other way to make your delivery? You know a way to get there where you won't bother the cops?"

Luke studied the play-mat and then smiled. He grinned and pointed. "If my delivery truck goes to the next street and then up there, Mikey won't have to move." He looked to his father, waiting for confirmation.

Greg nodded. "Good job, little man. So, you just drive around the block." He moved the truck past the street and down the next. "Then you avoid the police and still get your business done." He let Luke finish "driving" the truck down the street, sound effects included.

The little blond boy shifted his position and lay down beside Greg, holding himself up on his elbows like his father.

Greg smiled at him before pressing a kiss to his temple. He cleared his throat. "Hey, guys. You know we need to clean it up so we can wash our hands for dinner." He sat up and rubbed his stomach. "I know I'm so hungry I could eat the whole pan myself." He started picking up blocks and dropping them into a blue tub.

Micah giggled. "I'm so hungry I could eat a whole oven."

Luke laughed.

Greg shook his head and gasped in mock surprise, "A whole oven? Wow, you must really be hungry?"

Not to be outdone, Luke joined in, "I'm so hungry I could eat the whole house."

"Oh no. Your mama won't be happy about that. Where are we going to sleep?" He ruffled the boy's hair with affection as they all cleared up the toys. "Well, we better get some food in you two before you eat us out of house and home." He winked.

When the last of the blocks and trucks were piled into their rightful places, he helped the boys tuck the totes under the end table and then turned on them as he rose up on his knees.

The boys smiled in anticipation. Luke grabbed Micah's hand and looked down at him. "You ready Mikey?"

Still smiling, the little boy nodded gravely, eyes on his father.

Greg growled and took a step forward, still on his knees. "One…"

The boys took a step toward the other room, giggling.

"Two…"

Luke pulled Micah closer, one small hand clasped tightly in a slightly bigger one.

"Go…" Greg started after the boys who squealed as they ran toward the bathroom. He chuckled when Lori's voice filtered back to them.

"Boys, don't fight over the water…for heaven's sake Luke, Micah doesn't need his shirt washed too." She sounded happy.

Greg smiled as he stood. "I have a hand inspection to perform. I'll see you in the dining room."

Bobby smiled and shook his head. He turned to Dean who had been watching from his place on the couch. "Cute ain't they?" He winked and looked up to his niece. "Swear, God makes 'em that way so when they're broody, almost thirty year old men, you can't help but still love them." He smacked Dean on the shoulder and moved toward the scent of food.

Dean grunted and stood. He looked to Logan. She was pale, and her face was red and swollen from her tears. She looked so young. He caught her eyes, saw something in them that scared him and then cleared his throat. "I'm starved." He gave her a half-assed smile, knowing it didn't reach his eyes. "Let's eat."

She nodded and reached for his hand when he walked past. When he kept moving, making it impossible for her to grab his hand, she sighed and followed him up the hall. She told herself he just didn't see her reaching, but she knew. Dean had purposely avoided her touch.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

Dean pushed his plate away with a huge smile on his face. He reached for his coffee mug, "Lori, seriously. That was some of the best pie I've had in forever."

Several comments of agreement followed and she stood to collect the dishes. Kate waved her off and pushed her back into her chair.

"Sam and I will do the dishes." She shot a glance to Sam, who immediately stood and started gathering plates and silverware. "It's the least we can do. You all go relax, drink your coffee, talk…"

Lori protested for several seconds, but when Micah crawled into her lap and snuggled against her, she gave in. She shot Greg a look. "You're daddy put you up to this didn't he?" She whispered into the little boy's hair.

Micah nodded and yawned, "Yeah, but I still love you Mama."

She hugged him close and kissed his hair. "I love you too baby."

"Daddy, can we play the guitars tonight?" Luke asked, pointing toward the back of the house. "Please? Mama said you'd let me play later and it's later."

Lori smiled and looked expectantly at her husband. "Tell him what else I said."

The boy sighed and dropped his head, suddenly sullen. "She said we could, ONLY if we played her favorite song first." He glanced to his mother. "Do we have to?"

Lori giggled. "Well, not really, but I would appreciate it."

Another sigh, "That's the same thing as sayin' we have to." He looked to his dad. "Okay, after we play Mama's song then can we play real music?"

Greg threw his head back and laughed. "For that comment, we'll play all your favorites." He winked at Lori. "Come on, we'll play Mama a song or two then we'll start on the _real_ music."

Luke nodded and ran toward the back of the house.

Lori put Micah down and he took off after his brother. She stood and waited for Greg to join her.

Dean smiled, "I hope her favorite song isn't _Purple People Eater_."

Greg shook his head, "Nah, and really it could be worse, she does like country music." He grabbed his wife's hand and pulled her into his arms. He kissed her nose and smiled over her shoulder at Dean and Logan. "I lucked out; she just wants to hear _Take it Easy_. It's not Luke's favorite, but it ain't half bad."

She snorted and pulled out of Greg's arms. "Yeah, well you keep teaching him all that _devil music_," She paused with a wink, "and your parishioners are gonna fire you."

He laughed and shook his head. "They love it and so do you." He looked into the kitchen. "Hey, Katie?"

Kate stuck her head around the corner. "Yeah?"

"You two almost done?"

"Sam's just putting the last in the dishwasher."

"Well come on. We're gonna jam, you can join us."

She shook her head, "Oh no you don't."

"Drop the act Ross, I know you can sing and I need some harmony." He pulled out puppy dog eyes that would have rivaled Sam's best. "Please??"

She sighed, "Only if everyone else sings too."

Dean stood and shook his head as he finished off his coffee and moved to the kitchen with his mug. "Trust me; you don't want to hear Sammy sing. All the dogs in the neighborhood are gonna start howling, glass will break, and ears will bleed."

A wet, soapy dishcloth hit him square in the face. "What the…"

Kate giggled.

Greg laughed.

"Dude, point taken." Sam tossed him a dry towel, "I'm not singing, but I'd pay to hear Kate." He slung his arm over her shoulder. He pouted, "Please Katie?"

She elbowed him in the side. "Since I value my hearing, I'll still sing if you don't."

They moved toward the family room.

Dean motioned to the coffee pot and his cup, using it as an excuse to stay behind. He turned to the coffee pot, sensing more than hearing as Logan slipped into the kitchen. He poured coffee and then turned to face her, leaning back against the counter.

He watched her as she moved nervously, looking for something to do, or say to try to look natural. He figured she felt guilty. He sipped his coffee and waited, eyebrows raised.

She crossed her arms and taking a clue from him, leaned against the threshold between the kitchen and dining room. "You alright?"

He sipped, eyeing her over his cup before answering, "Why wouldn't I be. It was you who went all unconscious." His voice was cold.

"Why are you angry at me then?" She watched him from beneath her lashes.

He shrugged and his lips curled cruelly. He didn't say anything, just stood with a look half-filled with hurt, half-filled with disgust on his face.

Her eyes went wide, "Oh god…"

He set his cup down and covered the distance between them in three long strides. His words escaped from his clenched jaw. "Has nothing to do with it, bitch."

She stared up at him, felt anger and fear swirl in her gut. She reached for him, but he stepped back as if she burned him. "Dean, I…"

"You what?" He growled. "Don't tell me you were patching him up this time, Logan."

"How much did you see? Hear?"

He laughed bitterly, "That's funny. How much should I have watched? You want me to see the whole thing, stay for the money shot?" He was shaking with anger. "I watched you straddle my brother and kiss him, even when he tried to make you stop, you kept kissing him…" He drew in a shaky breath and ran a hand through his hair. "I didn't stay much past that. Maybe I should have. Is that the game you were playing?"

Logan shook her head, opened her mouth to speak, but he interrupted.

"Oh, so I wasn't supposed to see and now you're guilty." He fisted his hands. "I've never, ever hit a woman, but hell, right now I want to."

She straightened, lifted her head toward him. "If it would make you feel better, do it."

He looked her full in the eyes, "Fuck you." He turned away, angrier than he'd been in years. He spun back, "Damn it. If you want to end it, I can handle that. Hell, if you want to fuck other men, I can deal with that too," He grabbed her shoulders, shook her once. "But, damn you, you aren't playing me against my brother." He let go of her and stormed off toward the living room. To where he'd left his coat on the back of a chair.

He pulled it on and opened the front door.

Logan followed him, calling his name. She sobbed it one last time, tears running full down her face. She could hear the music from the other room, masterful guitar and one playing more hesitantly with it. A woman's voice, most likely Kate's singing. The words were a strange counterpoint to this scene by the door.

_Come on, baby, dont say maybe  
I gotta know if your sweet love is  
Gonna save me  
We may lose and we may win though  
We will never be here again_

He turned. "Stay the hell away from Sam. I'm leaving, tell them whatever you want." He swallowed, and shook his head when she took a step toward him. "When Bobby leaves in the morning, you better leave with him." He pulled the door shut quietly behind him.

Logan moved to the door, pulled it open and watched as he backed out of the drive and then gunned the engine, spinning the tires with a squeal as he sped down the road.

_**Note:** Okay, so there was another. I know these are kinda short, but hey, I'm posting them frequently. I'm working on finishing up this story so I can start on the sequel. Damn, did I say sequel? As if this one isn't long enough :)_

_So, I hope you all liked it, or hated it...you can hate this chapter if you want. Either way, let me know about it. Like I told Dean's evil little hunter, my muse is off drinking somewhere and she's not answering her text messages :( BUT, I'm still managing to finish stuff up. Meaning, you guys get plenty to read!_

_Thanks again to everyone who comments and adds and all that other stuff!!  
_


	84. Once Upon a Vision

_Sometime earlier and somewhere else entirely…_

A scream tore from his throat, a slow, tortuous sound that reverberated in the room and then Sariel growled in exhaustion and pain.

Iaoth frowned. He didn't enjoy the torture of others, even those on the opposite side of the battle. He had no stomach for it, but knew it was necessary. He nodded to Zaapiel and winced when Sariel screamed again, begging and cursing as Zaapiel tore the demon's other wing from its socket.

Zaapiel squealed in glee. His gift was to punish wickedness, and he found joy in his work.

Sariel understood, he found joy in his own work, but destruction was merciful when compared to punishment. He sighed and faced the demon. "Sariel, you must tell me what you have done." He glanced to Zaapiel, "My brother finds so much satisfaction in your punishment, and surely he will outlast you."

Sariel bit out curses in an ancient tongue as he glared at the angels and tested the bindings holding his arms and ankles. "I have done nothing but what was commanded of me by one of your own."

Zaapiel made a tutting sound in the back of his throat and picked up a sharpened curved blade that sang when it sliced through guilty flesh. He moved toward the demon, knife in hand with an almost cruel smile on his face.

Iaoth placed a hand on his brother's shoulder. "No, he speaks the truth."

Sariel sighed and his shoulders slumped in relief. "I do. If you want answers you should speak to Castiel." The demon glanced to Zaapiel. "I will tell you Iaoth, what he asked of me, but please show mercy and send the tormentor away."

Iaoth nodded to Zaapiel and gripped his forearm. "My thanks for your work, brother and may our Father be pleased with your effort."

Zaapiel smiled and placed the blade back in its place. "May it be so, until you call me next, Iaoth." The sound of wind rushing wildly filled the small room and he was gone.

Sariel's black eyes were downcast, "Thank you for your mercy."

Iaoth inclined his head. "You do know that what I offer isn't truly mercy? Only the illusion of it, a reprieve, for surely you will suffer much worse when the final judgment is upon us."

The demon chuckled and hissed when the motion pulled at his mangled wings, but he raised his eyes defiantly to the angel before him. "So, your Bible says."

"So, _**Adonai Tseva'ot**_ says." Iaoth's voice was clear, strong and sharp. A light, bright as the sun, suddenly filled the small space.

Sariel felt intense pain and gasped wordlessly as blood pour from his ears and eyes.

To use the name of God as a weapon was reserved for angels. Even the name Lucifer held no power over the other side. Sariel's bonds were suddenly gone and he found himself on his knees, face to the floor.

The demon whimpered, "_Tanya awra_!" His hands over his ears, his eyes clamped shut, "_Tanya awra_!"

Iaoth placed a hand, almost gently on the demon's head. "Yes, my fallen brother, it hurts. You know in your heart that our true Father will prevail, but you allow yourself to be deceived by Lucifer and your own pride." His hand slid to Iaoth's chin and he tilted his head back and up. "I will abstain from using it again if you tell me at once what service Castiel had you perform."

Sariel sobbed and did exactly that.

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Sariel stretched, his wings restored, his body back to its inglorious state. He spread his wings and stretched, letting them beat once and again as he savored the comforting sound of the creaking leather. He smiled, sharp teeth flashing in the darkness like a lion, prowling for his prey. He waited.

Again, he was doing the bidding of those _taraerea. _He was sick of the way they always thought they were better and stronger, but he knew they were only sanctimonious pieces of fluff. He laughed. If only they knew.

Honestly, they were no better than his brothers and sisters. Backstabbing and infighting was weakening them, leaving them open to attack and they didn't even realize it. Each one just knew they were doing the will of their father.

That was rich, if he really was omnipotent and omniscient you would think he'd be able to keep his own army in line. Each of them was selfish in their own way; they wanted to push the war to its end, hoping to end it even before it really began. They fought their own skirmishes to further their place at God's side. He threw his head back and laughed. They were no different, angels and demons. They were simply the other side of the coin.

He watched through the veil. Iaoth was there. He smelled him, felt him and the memory of his pain made him shiver. He watched Iaoth touch the daughter that was his flesh and blood; a strange child, an impossibility. Sariel watched Iaoth touch the girl's mind and he caught glimpses of future events as they leaked through the veil. The violence thrilled him and his blood sang.

He just barely glimpsed the scenes. None of them meant for a mortal mind. Pain. Terror. Weakness. Impossible strength of will. Alistair, he shuddered. Alistair was the demon equivalent to Zaapiel. There wasn't a demon in hell or on earth that didn't fear his presence. It was said that even Satan himself had a healthy respect for the Grand Tormentor.

Sariel waited for the images and feelings to work their magic. He watched as Iaoth left the connection open, knowing that without it there would be no way for him to work his magicks on her. He waited and at the right moment he touched the boy's mind with a suggestion and then he slid easily into the girls mind, pushing and rearranging her thoughts, using her strengths as her weakness.

He reveled in the lust he roused from them both, but he did as instructed. Iaoth's words clear in his mind. "Be sure the blood of my daughter touches that of Azazel's boy." He had no idea why that was important. He decided that the thrill of the girl's desire and the boy's need was payment enough for the punishment Zaapiel had given him.

The power of it was intoxicating, stronger than any mortal desire he'd felt before. It energized him in a way he couldn't understand, but they were strong and so was Iaoth's compulsion. He left them alone and went off to tempt, try and seduce.

_**Note: **Okay, I know you all want answers, but this is what you get for now...gotta play by my rules and all. Reviews are love and candy canes :) Thanks to all of you who have reviewed. My muse is attempting to stay at her post, but she's a wily thing and she wants her freedom. She's dragging me back to my art and well, honestly it's coming out really good, so I can't complain. Let me know you're out there and drop a comment..._

_Translations this chapter:_

_**Adonai Tseva'ot - **Big fancy Hebrew name of God, means "Lord of Hosts"_

**_Tanya awra_**_ - More of my Elvish demon/angel language means "Stop, that hurts!"_

**_Taraerea_**_ - Elvish demon/angel words...means "lofty ones."  
_


	85. What I Choose When it's Left Up to Me

Dean put the car through its paces. He knew she could handle it, but he apologized to her when he locked her brakes and slid almost sideways into a parking place before managing to straighten out at the last second. She came to a stuttering halt, rocking forward and then back. He cut the engine and exited the car, careful not to slam the door.

He went to the trunk and shoved things around, looking for the good liquor he had hidden. The Johnny Walker Blue sat wrapped carefully in an old blanket and tucked beneath the sleeping bags. He pulled it out and sat on the edge of the open trunk to drink. He glanced around the parking lot, noticed it was starting to fill back up as the weekend approached and then upended the bottle. He took a long sip, savored its smoothness, how the burn was mellower than the usual crap he drank to get drunk, and then he wondered if he shouldn't just drink his usual rotgut. He smiled wryly, after all did it really matter what you puked back up the next morning?

He shrugged, not sure that he really cared and then he tipped the bottle back again. He let the alcohol sit his mouth before swallowing, simply enjoying the taste and feel of it in his mouth. Then he replaced the cap, rewrapped the bottle and slid it back under the sleeping bags. He shut the trunk and palmed the keys into his pocket.

He took seven or eight steps in the direction of the cabin, thinking about the cheap whiskey he knew was on the counter and then suddenly, he altered his course; the bar, alcohol and noise. The last thing he really wanted right now was to be completely alone. The bartender would keep him company while he got drunk and hell, maybe he'd pick a fight. Punching something was starting to sound good.

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Logan stood in the door and watched as the Impala's taillights disappeared. She sobbed and wiped her running nose with her hand. She shivered in the cold and tried to figure out what had happened and how she could fix it. It was one thing for him to think she'd lied or covered up the truth. It was another for him to think she was trying to seduce Sam to get at him for some reason.

She replayed his words in her head and again she felt them crush her heart.

He was so angry

"_If you want to end it, I can handle that. Hell, if you want to fuck other men, I can deal with that too, but, damn you, you aren't playing me against my brother."_

She wasn't sure what hurt her more. That he seemed okay with her ending it and fucking other men or that he was more pissed that she might using Sam against him. She wrapped her hands around herself and shook her head. It made her angry and hurt to think he believed any of that.

She heard someone and turned to glance through the still open door.

"What the hell, Logan? They don't want to heat the entire county." Kate moved briskly toward the open door, "Where's Dean?"

She stepped outside, saw Logan's tears, glanced to the driveway and then grabbed the other girl's arm, pulling her inside.

"You two fighting?" Her eyebrows went up as she pushed the door shut, "You're freezing." She rubbed at Logan's arms and guided her toward the kitchen where she filled two cups with coffee and pushed one into Logan's cold hands.

Logan sipped the bitter coffee, shivering when its warmth rolled down her throat, feeling the heat spread through her chest. She kept her eyes down, unable to meet the other girl's eyes. Guilt rolling in her gut. Dean was right; she had kissed Sam, wouldn't let him go and so help her she'd enjoyed it.

Kate sighed and pulled the cream from the fridge. She added a dash to her coffee and held it up to Logan, when she didn't get a response she reached over and added a bit to her cup.

She turned back to the fridge, "Is he coming back?"

She shook her head and set her coffee down. She squared her shoulders and lifted her eyes. Kate was looking at her with such concern it made her feel worse. She sobbed again. "No…he won't be back…"

Kate tore a paper towel from the roll and handed it over as she grabbed her free hand. "I'm sure he will, Logan. He's just angry, he'll come around." She squeezed Logan's hand with a frown.

Logan wiped her face and blew her nose as she shook her head. "No…no he won't. It's over and I'm leaving in the morning. I'm going to New Mexico with Bobby."

"Oh, come on. He's a stubborn ass, but he cares for you. Whatever you two fought about it can't be that bad." She smiled.

"Stop being nice to me, Kate."

"Why? You're my friend…well at least I think we're friends. I mean I would think getting possessed, exorcised and having a gun held to your head kind of creates a bond between people…" She winked added a small, slightly uneasy chuckle and sipped her coffee.

Logan looked up at the other girl. "Kate?"

"Yeah?"

"Whatever you hear, whatever happens I need you to understand that I never meant to hurt you and I'm sorry."

"Logan, what the hell are you talking about? Seriously, you aren't making any sense at all and honestly you're scaring me a little bit." She set her cup down and grabbed the other girl's shoulders. "Talk to me. Is this about the vision?" She cocked her head to the side. "Did you see something?"

Logan began to cry again, big, silent tears fell down her face. Her heart was in pieces and she hated it. She crumbled when Kate pulled her into her arms. She sobbed and clung to the other woman, not knowing what else to do, what to say.

Kate let Logan cry, held her, and rocked her even though she was confused. Sam had told her while they were doing the dishes that the vision wasn't of anything they didn't already know about. He'd hinted at a fight between Dean and Logan, but insisted that Logan was going to be fine.

"I'm sorry, Kate. I'm so sorry."

Kate pulled back, "Okay, that's enough. Either you tell me what the hell you're sorry for or I'm going to get pissed off. You keep telling me you're sorry, but not what you're sorry for." She tucked a piece of hair behind Logan's ear. "It's only fair that I know what you're apologizing for."

She took a deep breath and raised her eyes to Kate's face. She nodded. "I saw things in the vision…" She wiped at her face and continued. "I saw Dean in hell and…it, God, Kate it was awful, worse than we could imagine. I saw that no matter what we do that's what's going to happen. He's going to hell and he's going to suffer things that are impossible to suffer through." Her eyes fell and she sobbed her voice catching as she continued. "They're going to use his strength against him. I didn't even let Sam see that part. I don't want him to know."

Tears had filled Kate's eyes and she wiped at them with a nod. "You don't want Sam to know what?"

"That Dean breaks. That he's going to give in and…and…" She had to stop and compose herself. "It's worse than the torture and that's why they do it. They know, those sons of bitches know it."

Kate nodded and took a deep breath. "Okay, I get that it sucks and all and seeing it is different than knowing it, and excuse me for being selfish, but you haven't told me about anything that would make you need to apologize to me."

Logan shook her head. "It wasn't something I saw…it's something I, we did."

"We? Who's we?" Suspicion leaked into Kate's voice, edging it slightly with bitterness.

She sobbed and shook her head. "I didn't plan it, didn't mean it. Neither did he."

"Sam?"

Logan nodded and bit her lip.

Kate dropped her hands to her side, hands fisting in uncertainty. "What exactly happened?"

"Sam stayed when everyone else left." She wiped her eyes and looked at Kate. "I don't know why, but when Sam uses his power I can feel it. It's as if some of it flows to me. It energizes me. I think it's the same for him. We have some kind of weird connection I don't understand, but it's how we were supposed to take Lilith out."

Kate crossed her arms and nodded. "Okay, so far nothing unusual."

"Look, maybe not, but that connection is powerful. It pulls and pushes, it's like opposite poles of a magnet. It's attractive and strong. When Sam touched me, I felt his power move through me. He unlocked parts of the vision that I either hadn't seen, couldn't remember or wasn't' strong enough to face alone." She shrugged. "I felt the overwhelming need to make the connection stronger, it was a compulsion. A need. I couldn't fight it." She dropped her eyes. "First it was just me on his lap and touching his face, but then it was beating in my head. Over and over and over…taste and see, taste and see, taste and see." She brought her eyes back to the girl across from her.

"You kissed Sam." It wasn't a question. Kate simply stated it calmly.

Logan nodded. "It was part of showing him my vision, but then something happened."

"So help me Logan, you weren't gone long enough for much else…"

"No, but when we kissed my tongue was cut and I bled in Sam's mouth. Som…"

Kate held up a hand. "Look if you have some vampire kink I so don't want to know about it."

Logan snorted, she couldn't help it. She half smiled. "No, but something happened." She caught Kate's eyes. "I didn't want to stop Kate. I wanted to do more than kiss him. I wanted the connection to be deeper."

A pained sound came from Kate's throat. "I don't want to…"

Logan grabbed Kate's arm. "He didn't' want to even kiss me, Kate. He pulled away, tried to make me stop, turned his head and pushed me back." She cleared her throat. "Don't be angry with him. Me you can hate, but don't hate Sam. He cares a hell of a lot about you and I don't want to be the reason you two don't try for more."

"You only kissed?"

Logan nodded. "That's it and honestly if I wouldn't have been influenced by the vision I would have never done it. I mean Sam's as hot as his brother, but I don't do that to people I consider friends."

Kate watched Logan's eyes and wiped at her tears with a big sigh. "Okay, so that's why Dean's pissed? He saw when he went to check on you two?

"I guess. He says he saw me kiss Sam and Sam pull away and then he left."

"That explains why he was pissed when he came back."

"You know what though. He's pissed because he thinks I'm trying to play Sam against him." She sobbed. "He told me he wouldn't care if I wanted to break up or sleep with other men, but to make a play for his brother…that's why he's angry at me."

"Oh, Logan…I'm sorry." She pulled the girl into his arms. "I know you love that stupid foolish man." She let the other woman cry on her shoulder.

"You…aren't…_hiccup_…mad at me…_sniff_?"

"Well, I can't say I'm thrilled, but I trust Sam and I know that even though we haven't known each other very long, that he wouldn't do anything to hurt me." She pulled back to smile at Logan. "While the 'relationship' gene passed over Dean, Sam inherited it in spades. He must have gotten his brother's share too." She winked. "As long as you can promise to keep your hands off Sam, then you're forgiven."

Logan wiped her face and smiled. "Deal…and thanks."

Kate kissed Logan on the cheek. "Shit, considering everything we've been through over the past week, this seems pretty damn insignificant."

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Dean sat at the bar, back to the door. He slammed down another double shot of cheap vodka and motioned to the bartender for another. Unfortunately, he wasn't getting drunk fast enough. Even though there was a decent crowd in the bar, the pool tables were vacant and only a couple of very drunk girls were on the dance floor. He watched them grind with each other and giggle when they stumbled.

He sighed and turned back to his drink. He stared into his glass and swirled the liquor before pushing it away with a curse. He ran his hand through his hair. He wanted to talk to his brother, ask him what happened. Find out what the hell had been going through his mind. He wanted to break his nose, black his eye and pound him into the ground.

Logan. His thoughts kept gong back to Logan, to seeing her straddled across Sam's lap, her hand on his face, her kissing him…him kissing her back. He growled, reached for his drink, tossed it back and then he moved to the pool tables. He slapped his money down on the bar, ordered three beers and then racked the balls. He cued up and sent the ball skipping down the table with a loud slap. Two balls dropped and he smiled, moved to the other side of the table and sent the cue ball screaming across the felt. It hit the 3 ball and it fell into the corner pocket.

Dean moved methodically around the table, only pausing to sip his beer. He managed to clear the table in minutes, not missing a single shot. He leaned a hip against the table and finished off his first beer. He smiled at the pretty blonde eyeing him.

She was thin, almost too thin, not curvy, but she was pretty. Her dark brown eyes sparkled and her lips curved in a sexy smile when she saw him notice her. She was wearing a light pink cashmere v-neck sweater and a pair of designer jeans that probably cost as much as a set of shocks for his car. Her fingernails were a light red and he guessed she was in her early thirties. There was also a set of rings on her left hand, leaving no doubt to her availability…Not that he cared about that so much. She opposite Logan in everyway possible, besides maybe her husband would come along and he'd find the fight he was jonesing for.

She picked up drinks from the bar and walked over to the where Dean stood. She stood just in front of him, held an amber filled glass out to him and smiled.

She looked him up and down, from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet. "I figure you're a whiskey guy?" She raised her eyebrow. "Neat."

He flashed a smile and took the liquor. He held it up in thanks and then downed it in one swallow, his eyes never leaving her. He handed the glass back to her.

He leaned forward, "Who am I thanking?"

"Name's Tess." She held up her own drink and then finished it off in seconds. "Who do I have the," She all but purred the next word, "pleasure of drinking with?"

"Dean," he said with a smile before motioning to the table beside him, "and how are you at pool?"

She winked, returned the empty glasses to the bar and picked up the two full bottles of beer. She lifted one to her lips and sipped as she returned to the table, handing the other to Dean. "Not so good really," she leaned into Dean's space, forcing him back against the pool table. She pouted up at him, sipped the beer again, "Maybe you could teach me?"

Dean shook his head and took a long, bored draw from his bottle. "Not the first time I've heard that one, sweetheart…" He slid to the side and picked up the cue stick as he began to rack the balls. He caught her eyes from across the table, and asked suggestively, "You wanna play?"

She leaned over the table, and smiled when his eyes dropped to glimpse down her sweater. "Oh, I want to play, Dean…I definitely want to play."

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After Logan pulled herself together, they went back to the family room. Lori was putting the boys to bed while Greg put the guitars back on their stands and then in the corner. He was laughing at something Bobby had said and winding amp cords around his arm when the girls walked in.

He smiled at them, "You two alright? I was about to mount a search and rescue."

Kate nodded, "Yeah, Dean and Logan had a fight and he stormed off."

Sam looked to Logan and mouthed, "I told you." His eyebrows up.

She sighed. "Uncle Bobby, would you mind driving me back to the cabin?"

Bobby stood, "Well, I was hoping to stay here and finish up some research." He motioned to Greg. "He may say he's retired, but he still loves to work the puzzles." He glanced to Sam. "How long you two gonna be hanging out here?"

Sam shrugged, "Don't know. Kate?"

She sat across from him. "Doesn't matter to me. Lori said something about watching a movie, so that's what, an hour and a half? Two hours? I suppose we'll be here until eleven or twelve."

The old hunter reached into his pocket and pulled out the keys to his truck. He tossed them to Logan, watched as she barely looked up and caught them. "Then I'll catch a ride with Sam and Kate if it's okay with them?"

Kate nodded.

He eyed his niece. "You gonna be okay?"

She looked over to her uncle, gave a short nod. "Yeah, when you get back, I want to talk to you about something."

Bobby's eyebrow rose, but he nodded.

Greg, now finished with his cords, moved to Logan. He pulled her into a hug. "You two are good for each other, even if neither of you know it." He pulled back and looked at her face. "We're all praying here and like I told Dean; a little faith and some hope, Logan. That's what you need."

She nodded and wiped the new tears from her eyes. "Thanks for dinner and everything." She motioned broadly, "Sorry, to ruin everything."

He laughed. "You didn't ruin anything. It was like a family get together. Someone always get their feelings hurt…don't worry about it. Just drive safe, it gets slick out there on nights like this."

She squeezed his hand and then turned to leave. "I'll see you guys later." She caught Kate's eyes and nodded to her. "Thanks again."

Then she grabbed her coat and headed out the door. The forty-minute drive would do her some good, even though she hated driving Bobby's truck. She shoved coffee cups, maps, paper scraps and fast food wrappers from the driver's seat and climbed in. After readjusting the seat and mirrors, she started the truck, backed it from the drive and let her mind go where it wanted.

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Dean bent over the pool table, Tess's body between. His hands over hers on the pool cue, his mouth by her ear as he helped her line up the shot. Shit, he'd played this game so many times it was getting old. He felt her squirm back, pressing her ass against him and he chuckled. Yeah, he had her pegged the minute he'd seen her eyeing him. She wasn't surprising him, she wasn't intriguing him and while his body was appreciating hers on a purely physical level, she wasn't really turning him on.

She giggled, "Mmm, this is pretty hard."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well it could be harder…" He replied, against her ear, leaving it as half compliment, half insult. He straitened, picked up his beer, and took a small step backward to give her room to take the shot.

Of course, she took it as a compliment. She bent lower and took the shot, scratching. She turned with a pout and slid her arms around his shoulders. Her warm breath moved across his neck as she leaned into him. "I bet it could be harder, baby." Her right hand grazed along the collar of his shirt and up into his hair. "Wanna show me?"

His hands fell to her waist, beer between the thumb and index finger of his left hand. He rested his hands just on her hips. He spanned his fingers behind her and felt her hipbones, almost sharp through her expensive jeans. His mind flashed to Levi encased, lush curves. He lifted his beer to his lips, and then set it down before his hand traced down her back.

Alcohol had finally started to dull his senses, he wasn't drunk yet, but he was more relaxed than he had been. He smiled down at her. "You sure you want to go there? I mean it can take all night to get it right…" He stepped forward, backing her into the table. "It's a whole lot of hard work for those few seconds of," He lowered his lips to her ear and whispered, "satisfaction."

She shivered and wet her lips with the tip of her tongue. "I'm not afraid of _hard_ work." She scooted up to sit on the edge of the table and spread her legs so that Dean could move between them. Her nails lightly razed the exposed skin of his neck. "The satisfaction might be short lived, but I bet you're such a good teacher that we could…um, repeat the performance." Her lips pressed into his jaw and began to skirt toward his lips.

He didn't stop her, let her lips find his. They were soft yet firm as they moved over his. He felt her tongue dart out, then her teeth pulled at his bottom lip and he opened. He kissed her almost by routine. There wasn't any emotion behind it, but he could feel hers. The way her tongue moved and played, teeth tugging and teasing. He felt her nails press into his shoulders as she slanted her head to deepen the kiss even more.

Dean slid his hands to her sides, letting his thumbs brush the underside of her breasts. She wasn't wearing a bra. _Not that she needed one_, the thought made him smile into the kiss, something she took as encouragement.

Her hands slid down his back and tugged at the hem of his shirt to find skin and she moaned softly when he shivered from her touch.

He pulled back, startling her. "Hey sweetheart, we can't be doing this here." He picked up his beer and finished it off. "Why don't we go back to your room?"

She shook her head and held up her left hand with a throaty laugh, "That's not going to happen, sexy." She slid from the table and picked up her drink, some fruity thing that Dean had no idea what to call. She smiled. "How about yours?"

He shook his head. "Roommates, a brother, an uncle…"

She finished off her drink and slapped the glass loudly on the bar. "Well, fuck."

She glanced around the bar and then stalked back toward him with a smile. Her palm pressed against his chest. "Well, are you opposed to a quickie in the ladies room?" Her hand drifted lower as she leaned into him, cupping him through his jeans.

He smiled and shook his head. "Don't know about that." He had to admit, she knew what she was doing. He felt himself thicken beneath her hand. "I was hoping for something a bit less…seedy."

She pouted, "Come on, don't you dare tell me you've never fucked a girl against the wall of a bathroom stall." She eyed him almost critically and smirked, "You look like you've played that game before."

Dean grabbed her hand, suddenly angry. "What the hell is that supposed to mean, lady?" He stared down at her. "You're the one acting like a bitch in heat." He dropped her hand and moved away.

She chuckled, "Oh, get over it. We both know we're using each other." She waved a hand at him. "I'm stuck in a shit relationship with a boring man who barely knows if I'm around or not and you, well you're just hoping to get lucky."

He snorted. "Hoping?" He shook his head. "Sweetheart, I was playing pool. The only thing I was hoping for was to find a fight so that I could beat the hell out of someone, but trust me, I've never had a problem getting laid. If that's what I was _hoping_ for I would've been on round two by now."

She glared at him, took a step toward him and lifted her hand to slap him.

He grabbed the hand mid-swing; he squeezed it hard, smiling when she winced. He'd found a fight, but not the kind he'd been looking for. "Oh, no you don't bitch." He pulled her hard against his chest, his anger making him reckless. "You don't get to hit me." His voice was throaty and raw.

She writhed against him and whimpered.

He watched her eyes darken and her mouth open as she stared up at him. Shit, she liked it rough. Part of him was disgusted, but he felt himself harden more than he had all night. "You're a bit twisted, aren't you?"

She panted, her free hand finding him through his jeans again. She smiled, "Yeah, but you must be too." She gripped his erection. "Guess I wasn't pushing the right buttons?"

Dean stared down at her. His body warred with his mind. Fuck it. It wasn't the way he planned to take out his frustration, but hell, he grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the back of the bar, and the restrooms.

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The truck radio sucked and the mountains didn't help with reception, which left Logan with nothing but her thoughts to occupy herself. She'd made good time, going much faster than was actually safe. She missed driving. Ever since she'd been with the boys, she'd been mostly passenger. Only twice, had she been able to actually get behind the wheel of Dean's baby and drive her and when she had, she hadn't been doing it for pleasure. Both times, it had been her who was hurt the least.

She knew Bobby was taking care of her car, hell he had rebuilt the 70 Challenger for her and he was probably keeping it in better condition than she usually did. It had been her sixteenth birthday present and she loved it. She'd just had the paint redone, cherry red with black racing stripes. She gripped the steering wheel and pushed on the gas.

She did have to give it to her uncle. He was a master with an engine. She honestly had no clue what he had under the hood of his truck, but it could haul ass. She turned sharply down the road leading to the lodge and smiled when the tires screeched on the pavement. She braked and then accelerated out of the turn, picking up speed quickly. It was dark, and it was dangerous to drive the way she was, but she didn't care. She only slowed to turn into the lodge complex.

She followed the path to the main parking lot and pulled in a few spots from the Impala. She exited the car, pushed her hands into her pockets and headed to the cabin with a knot in her gut. The light dusting of snow on the steps was undisturbed and the cabin was dark. She glanced around and then moved to the door, her eyes scanning along the top. She found it, the toothpick she was in the habit of shoving between the top of the door and the jamb. It was still there, undisturbed. She knew Dean wasn't inside.

She turned toward the bar, figuring that's where she would be too. She wasn't sure if she wanted to face him, but she felt like she'd vomit if she didn't. The temperature wasn't bad, it had been hovering around thirty most of the day and was just starting to drop. She sighed, pulled her collar up, eyes on the ground and picking up her pace when the wind hit her, making her shiver.

She pulled the door open and promptly ran into someone exiting the bar. Strong hands gripped her shoulders, steadied her and then let her go. She looked up from beneath her hair.

"Logan?" Ryan looked over his shoulder and then back to her face. "Hey, why don't you take a walk with me?" He slid his arm around her shoulder and turned her around, back toward the parking lot.

She shook his arm off. "Not now, Ryan. I'm looking for Dean." She brushed her bangs from her face. "I'm really not in the mood to socialize."

Ryan smiled and pushed the bar door closed behind him. "Oh, come on…you're a party girl and I know where there's a party. Be my date?"

She shook her head and gave him an odd look. "What is your problem?" She smiled hesitantly. "So far you've hit on Dean and now me?" She playfully nudged his side as she again reached for the door. "You hoping for a three-way?"

Ryan's smile widened and he moved between her and the door. "Why? You offering yourself and that sweet assed boyfriend of yours?"

She snorted in amusement and annoyance. "Like that would ever happen?" She crossed her arms over her chest. "Look, you need to get the hell out of my way. Really, I'm not in the mood and I'd really hate to hurt you."

He sighed, dropped his teasing and was suddenly serious when he grabbed her hand. "Please, Logan…just come with me."

A chill ran up her spine. "Why?"

"Trust me. It's better if you don't go in there." His face held concern. "Please?"

"He's in there isn't he?" She dropped back half a step as anger put her on alert. "What's he doing? More body shots with some sluts?"

Ryan shook his head. "I'm sorry…"

"Motherfucking piece of shit, what the hell's he doing? He's with someone isn't he and so help me Visintine, you fucking lie to me and I'll make sure your face isn't so pretty for the rest of your life."

He held up his hands with a sigh. "He's at the pool tables." He moved to the side. "Really, Logan…I'm sorry."

She moved past him and pulled open the door. Her eyes moved to the pool tables and she felt the knot in her gut move to her throat. She choked out a cry and turned away.

Ryan had followed her in and she found herself against his chest, his arms moving up and around her, holding her as she pulled herself together.

Logan let him hold her for a second and then she turned back to the pool table. She saw Dean catch the woman's arm and then pull her to his chest. She saw her hand slither between them, touching him and then he was pulling her toward the back of the bar. She knew where he was going, knew what they were going to do.

She pushed past Ryan, back outside, a few steps and she emptied her stomach into the snow.

Ryan was right behind her, whispering and holding her hair out of her face.

She laughed a little wildly as she straitened up. "You're like a girlfriend, Ryan."

He smiled. "If you say so." He handed her a handkerchief. "Wipe your mouth." He pulled a slightly disgusted face.

She giggled again as she stared at the folded cloth and then wiped her face. "Who the hell still carries a hanky?"

"Obviously, me and don't even think of handing it back to me. It's yours." He brushed hair from her face. "Come on, let me walk you home."

She shook her head and stuffed the handkerchief into her pocket. "Hell no. I'm gonna kick his fucking ass." She pushed past Ryan and back into the bar.

Ryan sighed and went back inside and sat at the bar to wait for the fallout.

_**Note: **__Okay, so do you want more? Well, I suppose there actually is more, but I want to hear from you all first. Let me know what you think. Like I said, my muse has semi-deserted me for other pursuits. She's still around, but she's making me sketch, something I haven't done much of in quite some time. LOL, I'm working on drawing the characters from this dang story. Seriously, it's crazy..._

_So, drop me a review. Yell, scream and rail at me for what I've done...or tell me how much you love it. Either way, just talk to me ;)_


	86. The Walls Come A Tumbling Down

Logan went straight to the back of the bar and turned the corner to the restrooms. She past the door marked _Office_ then one another marked _Men_ until she found the ladies' room, which was the last door on the right. She took a deep breath and quietly pushed open the door. She felt like someone thrust a knife through her heart.

She saw Dean's hands gripping the top of a stall door and Logan knew without a doubt that she'd find the woman on the toilet, face in Dean's crotch. Dean moaned and she fought back the urge to vomit. How did one go about interrupting a bathroom blowjob?

Logan pushed the door open and let it slam into the wall and then back again. She heard a giggle and then Dean's voice, low and gruff.

"Quiet."

Logan cleared her throat and then moved into the stall beside them. From there she could actually hear the wet sound of the woman's mouth on his cock, as well as his heavy breathing. She made some noise, flushed, exited the stall and then leaned against the sink opposite the stall they occupied.

"You know, I already hold the record for best blowjob." The bitterness in her voice surprised even her. "And he's not making that desperate little sound in the back of his throat that means you found the right rhythm."

There was silence, then. "Who the hell is that?"

Then there was his soft cursing as clothing rustled and a zipper closed. The woman started to say something and only stopped when Dean angrily said, "Shut the fuck up."

The stall door exploded out, slamming into the wall with a loud crash. It bounced and Dean caught it on the rebound, his face shrouded in fierce anger. He wanted to hurt something, to do damage.

She saw it and understood since she felt the same way.

He crossed to the sink and attempted to grab Logan's arm.

She sidestepped him and spun, knowing what he would do. When he turned to face her, she brought her fist up and landed a solid punch to his jaw.

Dean fell to his knees as his vision went black. He groaned, stunned he looked up at her with a slightly blank look on his face.

Logan giggled frantically and turned before shoving the hard heel of her boot into Dean's kidney.

Dean grunted and tried to put two thoughts together. He'd deny it later, but Logan's punch had him reeling and struggling to focus.

Tess suddenly moved at Logan. She wrapped her hand in Logan's hair, pulling back hard and without mercy. Her hands curled into claws and her fingernails descended to the hunter's cheek raking down from eyebrow to chin, leaving three deep and bloody furrows behind.

"Fucking whore!" Logan shouted, as she grabbed the hand fisted in her hair. Her thumb found the pressure point and she squeezed the other woman's wrist, forcing the fingers in her hair to go lax. Then she twisted under Tess's arm, and brought her own arm around the woman's throat. A step to the left and she was behind the woman and applying pressure to the side of her neck.

She smiled and snarked in the woman's ear, "Say goodnight, bitch." She brought her other arm up and locked in the choke with barely any effort.

Tess's nails dug into Logan's forearm trying in vain to pull the arm from her neck. Her movements full of panic. Gradually, they became sluggish and small gasping sounds came from her throat just before she went limp in Logan's arms.

Logan maintained pressure for a few more seconds, but the woman's weight was pulling her. She let her slide to the ground in a messy heap before she stepped over her and checked her face in the mirror. She fingered the gashes, winced and frowned before she turned back to the woman on the floor.

"Better not scar, slut." She brought her foot back to land a kick, but stopped when she felt Dean's arm suddenly around her belly, dragging her backward.

"'S'enough, Logan." Dean's voice was threatening, full of anger. He spun her around, his eyes burning into hers. "Leave her alone."

She sputtered at him and tried to yank her arm from his hand. "Let the fuck go, you asshole."

Dean shook his head and tightened his grip as he pulled her from the bathroom and toward the front door.

She let him move her, while the angry tears in her eyes threatened to fall. She saw Ryan at the bar, watched the fearful concern cross his face as he stood. She shook her head and waved him off. She watched him nod, sigh and then settle back at the bar.

Dean saw him stand and then began to move toward him.

Logan had to give the guy credit. Dean was barreling at him like a bull charging a red cape and Ryan simply stood his ground, jaw tense. Hands loose at his side.

Dean paused and nodded to toward the bathrooms. "Logan choked her out."

Ryan's eyebrows shot up along with his lips, his eyes flickering to Logan with respect. He took in the deep scratches then he looked back to Dean as he crossed his arms over his chest. "I say she probably deserved it."

Dean snorted and shrugged. "Make sure she's okay and gets back to her husband?" It was half a request, half an order.

Ryan nodded and scowled in disapproval. "That's low, even for a player like you don't you think?"

Dean glared, pissed, but impressed with the man's balls. "Just do it."

Ryan nodded again then looked to Logan, "You alright?" The question was pregnant with meaning as his eyes flickered back to Dean.

Again, Logan tried to pull her arm from Dean's hand. She sighed, "Yeah, I'll be fine." She growled.

His eyebrows shot up. "If you're sure?"

She nodded.

"Just make sure she stays that way." Ryan glared to Dean then headed toward the back of the bar.

Dean shook his head and frowned before he started moving again, pulling Logan behind him. He didn't stop pulling until they were out in the cold, past the parking lot, and almost to the cabin. He was angry and he didn't trust himself to speak, knowing he was too close to violence.

Logan yanked her arm again and Dean finally let her go.

She didn't pause as she moved past him to the cabin, climbed the steps, only then remembering she didn't have a key. She leaned against the wall by the door, eyes on the porch, tears clinging to her lashes and waited for Dean to open the door.

He wasn't far behind. He stomped up the steps and thrust the key into the lock. He moved inside, leaving the door open behind him as he threw his coat onto the table and grabbed a bottle of vodka off the counter. He twisted off the cap, threw it in the general direction of the trashcan and then upended the bottle. He downed a good bit before finally pulling back to take a breath.

Logan watched him, took her own coat off and then ducked into the living room. Honestly, bed sounded good, but she wasn't sure where she was going to sleep. She dropped onto the couch and worked on unlacing her boots. She pulled them off, tucked her feet under her and wrapped her arms around the red throw pillow. She dropped her head onto the pillow and hissed when the scratches on her face hit the material. She gasped and fingered the bloody tracks. "Bitch."

Unfortunately, Dean didn't leave her alone. He sat beside her and pulled her hand from her face. "Let me see."

She turned her head away and pushed his hand from her. "Don't you dare touch me."

He sighed and grabbed her chin, forcing her face back to his. "Shut up and let me look at it. Then I'll leave you alone."

She stared into his eyes. "Fuck you."

He dropped his hand and fisted them both at his side. "Logan, I've had enough. Don't start with me, I'm just trying to help." He reached for her jaw again.

She threw off his hand and rolled from the couch. "I don't need your help. I'll take care of it. Just leave me the hell alone." She stared down at him. "I'll be gone with Bobby in the morning, and I won't be in your way anymore." She swallowed and made a desperate sound in the back of her throat. "Then you can fuck anyone you want."

She moved to the bathroom. She heard him moving behind her and pushed the door shut behind her, quickly engaging the lock. She turned on the shower and ignored Dean's pounding on the bathroom door. She held a washcloth under the warm spray and then dabbed at her face while looking in the mirror.

The scratches stung and they were going to look nasty until they healed, but she didn't think they would scar, though a small place by her eye was particularly deep and still bleeding. Tears ran down her face, stinging when then fell across one of the gashes.

"Open the door." Dean pounded, his voice gruff and tense. "Open the damn door Logan."

She leaned into the wall and let herself slide down until she sat on the floor. She cried. Big, moaning sobs filling the small room. "I said leave me alone." She sniffed and wiped her face. "Just, leave me the hell alone." Her words came out in a thin whine as her throat tightened.

"Unlock it…" There was a pause and then a muffled curse, "…Now, Logan…Dammit."

Logan heard him fumbling on the other side of the door and she knew the chintzy lock would be gone in no time flat. She stood and began to undress, unbuttoning her jeans just as the door swung open slowly. She looked up.

Anger bled from every pore as he stood seething in the doorway. "What gives you the right to be angry?"

Her hands fell to her side and she charged at him, pushing him back into the hallway and into the wall. Her laugh was a harsh burst of sound. "That's fucking rich, Winchester?" She snorted. "How am I supposed to feel?"

He stared and swiped an angry hand through his hair. "What? It's okay for you, but not for me?"

She slapped him hard, angry and hurt. Her voice rose with her emotion and she yelled, "I kissed Sam…I didn't fucking suck his dick."

Dean stepped forward, into her space, one hand fisting into the material of her t-shirt, as he pulled her closer and bent his head low to hers. His mouth lowered to her ear, his voice low and threatening. "Stop pretending it was a simple little kiss, Logan. I saw you." He swallowed and closed his eyes. "I watched what you did to him. How you made him want more." He opened his eyes, brows raised. "He tried to push you away, but you wouldn't let him. You made him want you." He stepped forward and pushed her back against the threshold of the bathroom. "You wanted him. Don't even try to deny it."

She shook her head slightly and bit her bottom lip. She wanted to pull him into her arms and cry. She wanted to cry because she hurt him, cry because he wanted to hurt her and cry because she knew what was to come. She knew what he would face, what they had planned and how it would play out. She knew it would break him, hurt him…destroy him.

She felt her anger fade as remorse and sorrow took its place. She also knew it was over. Dean wouldn't forgive her and she wouldn't be able to help him. She wouldn't be there in the end.

She blinked to clear her eyes and turned in to him. She felt him trembling, barely containing his anger. She panted and her arms came up and around his shoulders so she could press herself into his solid form. She sobbed into his shirt. Repeating, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry…Please, I'm so sorry…" over again. She pulled him tight against her, trying to make him understand exactly how sorry she was. Sorry for everything she did, that she wouldn't be able to help him and for what he was going to have to endure, but knowing she wasn't sorry for the time they'd had. She wasn't sorry for being with him or for needing him. She wasn't sorry that her heart ached and broke. She wasn't sorry for loving him.

He stood, muscles aching with barely restrained anger. She was clinging to him, begging him for something he wasn't ready to give. He pulled back, setting her away from him almost gently. He looked down at her. She looked so young, so broken and something in his heart caught for a single second, then he shook his head, resolved. "I can't…not right now."

He stepped back and pushed her into the bathroom. "Take your shower." He turned toward the kitchen, intent on finding the vodka bottle he'd left in the living room. "When you're done, I'm showering. Then I'm going to bed." His voice carried up the small hallway.

Logan stood, just inside the bathroom. She nodded as she hugged herself and kicked the door shut with her foot. Silent tears ran down her face and her lip trembled. She was overflowing with pain and regret. She stripped and stepped into the shower. She didn't have enough energy to stand, so when her legs gave out she slid to the floor. She sat, arms wrapped around her knees as she rocked and cried.

Dean went back to the living room, reclaimed his bottle and sank into the recliner by the fireplace. He took a long sip and settled the vodka on the hearth as his eyes drifted shut. Emotionally, he was spent. Days spent in the hospital, worry and fear for Sam pressing in on him while the tension with Logan rose. He wiped a hand over his weary face. He wasn't surprised it had come to a head.

He sighed, knowing inside that part of her was right. He'd gone to the bar to find a way to cope. The two methods he'd learned from Dad, drink and ignore and search and destroy hadn't worked out, so he'd settled for flirt and fuck. It sounded good at the time. Take his anger and bitterness out on some willing slut who didn't mind being treated like trash.

Guilt hit him. Even though she knew he was using her, he didn't like it. It wasn't his style to take out his anger on a woman, to use her for revenge or to ease his anger. He prided himself on giving as good as he got. Sure, maybe they put more emotion into it, but hell, he never left them unsatisfied and he never offered the promise of more.

He chuckled, not that Tess had asked for more or wanted more. She admitted that she was using him, but it didn't change the fact that it wasn't who he was. He was having a difficult time actually finding himself in that bathroom. She'd used him, pushed him and manipulated him and even while he was pulling her toward the bathroom, his brain had been screaming at him to walk away.

He was angry and he had a right to be, but Logan was right. A kiss did not equal a blowjob. He pulled the bottle from the hearth and himself from the chair, drinking as he headed back to the bathroom.

The door wasn't locked and he opened it quietly. There was no sound, other than the shower. He set the bottle down and pulled back the curtain to find Logan curled on the floor of the tub, head resting against the wall, sleeping.

He frowned and turned off, the now cold, water. He pulled a towel from the shelf and draped it over her shoulders then grabbed another and laid it over his chest before bending and as gently as possible for the awkward position, he picked her up and cradled her against his chest.

She groaned and began to shiver against him as he moved toward the bedroom, shouldering the door open and moving her to the bed. He sat and began to dry her.

She woke with a start as he was carrying her, but she didn't move, didn't speak, she simply waited for him to acknowledge her consciousness. When he didn't, she stayed quiet.

He wiped water from her face and neck, "I know you're awake." He continued to her arms and back, then her legs and belly before sliding her into the bed and pulling the blankets up to her chin.

She was still shivering, her eyes on his face. She didn't move until he began to stand, then her hand grabbed his. She gripped firmly, a silent plea as her eyes found his. She shook her head, "Please…" So quiet, her voice was hoarse from the tears and emotion. When he stood, a sob caught in her throat.

He moved to the window, stared out into the darkness and checked the line of salt on the sill, and then he left the room.

He heard her quiet sobs as he picked up the vodka from the bathroom on his way back through the cabin. He checked the front windows and door then up to the loft to check the window there. Then he reinforced the line around the fireplace. He swirled the vodka in the bottle and then set it back on the counter, eyes darting to the bedroom.

His hand fisted around the bottle and he rolled his neck on his shoulders. "Shit." He said as he shoved the bottle back against the wall and moved quickly back up the hallway pulling his shirt over his head as he went. He slammed the door closed and tossed his shirts to the floor, even as he pulled off his belt and yanked down his pants.

Logan was facing away from him, and she heard him moving in the room but she didn't look up at him. Suddenly, the blankets were gone and Dean was over her. Mouth claiming hers, hands finding skin in a bruising quest to reclaim what was his. She didn't care. She arched up into him, fingers digging into his shoulders as he devoured her mouth. His tongue almost choking her, his teeth biting, hurting and she didn't care. She wanted his anger, his need, his hurt, she wanted whatever he was willing to give her. She would take it and treasure it. Remember it always.

He knew he was hurting her, leaving bruises and scrapes, but he didn't care and if the small sounds coming from the woman beneath him meant anything, she didn't either. He felt her nails in his shoulders as she arched up and into him and he took it. He wanted her to feel claimed, owned. He wanted her to remember she was his. His hand slid between them and he touched her. She wasn't ready, but he didn't care. He heard her whisper, "yes" against his neck even as she spread her legs for him. His hips slid to the side and then he forced himself into her.

She cried out as he moved into her. There was pain, but she ignored it. She needed it and wanted it. She arched her hips to meet his, giving him better access and felt him slide in completely with a final grunt. She moaned, tears wetting her cheeks and she pressed up against him, encouraging him to move.

She was moving beneath him and he withdrew almost completely before trusting violently back inside. He threw his head back at the brutal satisfaction of it. He gripped her hips, mouth marking her neck as he thrust and withdrew. Pounding into her over and over, as emotion poured out of him.

Logan met him thrust for thrust. Her ankles locked just above his ass. Her head arched into the pillow. Murmurs of encouragement tumbling from her mouth. "Yes…fuck…harder…please…more…" Her hands tangled in his hair, and she pulled his mouth back to hers, moaning when he nipped at her lips and thrust his tongue against hers. Pleasure had overcome pain and the tense pressure of it sat coiled in her belly. Her movements became desperate, needy. She grunted up and into him and her hands fell to his firm ass, gripping and pulling as she mewled in her throat.

Dean lifted his head, pulled back enough to see her eyes. Sweat was running down his back and between them. He groaned at what he saw on her face. He palmed her cheeks. "Open your eyes Logan…I want to watch." He whispered tensely against her forehead. When she didn't do as he asked, he paused above her, ground down and into her slowly, denying her the friction she needed. He smiled when her eyes opened.

She thrust toward him, but he wouldn't give her what she wanted and when she did open her eyes, it was to see him above her, staring down at her. She couldn't see anger or pain there anymore, but there was regret and something else.

He bent and kissed her gently, still moving into her slow and steady, even though it was killing him to do so. He broke the kiss with a moan, "Keep your eyes open…" He waited for her to nod and then moved into her again, groaning at the sensation of her tightening around him, pulling him deeper. "Shit…" He returned to his previous rhythm. He moved hard and bruising until she began to buck beneath him, but she did as he asked and kept her eyes on his.

They'd done this before, but there was something else there this time; some desperate need to see the other's soul, to feel connected. She was in awe of what she saw in those deep pools of green and when a tear formed and fell from his eye, she almost broke. Her finger gripped his sides, nails leaving marks, drawing blood as she pushed up and pulled him down. Her panting breaths urged him on again, pushing him. Her head fell back as the coil tightened, her eyes wide on his and her mouth fell open as she begged for even more.

He felt her quiver around him, her nails dig into his shoulders and he bit his lip to hold out, to hold on. His hands pulled her against him and he shifted as he thrust into her again and again. Then he felt her unravel. He saw it in her eyes. He watched her fly, even as tears filled her eyes and fell. He didn't stop, didn't give her a break, but continued to move over her, into her, consuming everything she gave. He felt his own climax pull at him, knew he was close. He grunted harshly, "Gonna come…god Logan…"

Logan knew he was close and she met him thrust for thrust, hands finding his hair, tugging and pulling as she panted beneath him, still trying to catch her breath and find her bearings. She barely realized it when he paused, head thrown back and then suddenly he pulled out and emptied himself onto her belly.

He groaned in frustration as he pulsed against her stomach, ropey strings of come coating them both. His forehead fell to hers and then he collapsed beside her, leg thrown carelessly across her hip, arm across her shoulder. He stayed there for several long seconds and then moved, spooning behind her, tucking himself around her.

The air cooled her sweat slicked skin quickly and she reached for the blankets, pulling them up over the both of them. She was exhausted and she felt her eyes droop shut even before her breathing steadied. Dean's arms were around her, she felt safe and protected. She sighed, there was more, but for now, it was easily ignored. She snuggled back into his chest and let herself drift.

His own eyes were heavy and the quiet between them was only the calm before the storm, or maybe the eye of the storm, but this tentative ceasefire was okay for now. He kissed the hair by her temple and pulled her tighter against his chest. His voice barely a whisper, not meant to be heard.

"You fucking did it…" His own eyes drifted shut, "…you fucking made me fall in love."

Logan heard the words, somewhere in that place between wakefulness and sleep. She was hazy and she wasn't sure if he really said those words, but she smiled and fell into a deep sleep.

_**NOTE:** Yeah, again, tell me what you thought...you know you want to ;) Thanks to everyone for reading, reviewing, alerting and favoriting. _

_Special thanks to Dean's evil little hunter for her encouragement...I appreciate it, girl!_

_My muse is hungry as always so feed her some lovely dark chocolate so she'll keep me inspired._


	87. Dear Penthouse?

Sam drove, Kate beside him and Bobby in the back. He glanced at Kate. She'd been pretty quiet since she'd talked with Logan. She hadn't been exactly cold with him, but she wasn't her affectionate self either. He glanced in the rearview mirror to see Bobby slumped against the window, gently snoring if the small "pft-huff" sounds coming from the back were an indication.

He flipped the knob on the radio, moving the music mostly to the rear speakers, leaving it quieter in the front. He reached for Kate's hand and squeezed it lightly.

"A quarter for your thoughts?" He asked quietly.

She smiled, "A quarter?"

He nodded and smiled, "Inflation? Cost of living increase?" He shrugged. "Guess a penny's awful cheap and I figure yours are worth more than that."

She shook her head.

"You're kinda quiet. What's on your mind?"

She sighed. "Just thinking about Logan."

His eyebrow shot up, "What about her?"

She turned in her seat, facing him and leaning against the door. "Well, she and Dean had that big fight and he left."

He nodded. "Yeah, I told her he was gonna be pissed."

Kate snorted and crossed her arms over her chest, "You think?"

He nodded. "Well yeah, I mean once he found out, he'd figured she lied so that he'd stay with her and of course he was going to be pissed."

She looked at him strangely. "Lied? Who lied?"

"Logan lied…" He looked over to her, "What do you mean, 'who lied?'"

"What did she lie about?"

Sam sighed. "I thought you two talked about that. I mean Dean ran off because he was pissed because she lied. Right?"

She shook her head. "Um, no…"

"Then why did he…Oh, fuck." His eyes found hers and then went back to the road. "Shit, Kate…" He swallowed. He wanted to pull over to finish the conversation, but Bobby was in the backseat and he was bound to wake up if they stopped.

"Yeah, oh fuck is about right." She shook her head and watched his face go from stunned to guilty in seconds. "You want to give me your side?"

"What did she tell you?"

She shook her head, "Oh, no. I'm not that stupid. I'm not going to tell you what she said so your story can match hers." She leaned forward, letting him see the tears that had gathered in her eyes. "I need you to tell me what happened."

Sam swallowed and nodded. "I had to be there. I can't explain it; it was a total compulsion to stay, to sit on the bed, to touch her hand." He shook his head, glanced at her. "I couldn't resist it."

She nodded, "And?"

"When I touched her, something moved through me, some kind of spark and something inside broke loose. The power we thought was gone suddenly flowed back through me, stronger and more demanding than before. It made me giddy, like I'd just toked up."

Kate chuckled. "You? Smoking weed?"

"Hey, I was in college…isn't that what everyone does?"

She shook her head, "Back on course…"

"Anyway, the power surged and then I could see things. It was disjointed, but terrible. I saw hell, or what I could of it, anyway. There was always this feeling like there was more, that it was worse than I saw. I saw Dean in hell, I saw us try to stop it and nothing we did being able to. It broke my heart." His voice was shaky and he took a couple of breaths before he continued. "Then Logan was awake and on my lap, touching my eyes, helping me to see, to understand then she kissed me." He looked to Kate, saw the tear track down her cheek and cursed. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to kiss her, didn't want her kissing me and I tried to make her stop. I pushed her away, tried to turn my head, but she wouldn't stop."

Kate wiped her face and nodded. "Keep going."

Sam sighed, and pushed his hair from his eyes. "Really, there isn't much else. She kept kissing me and then she cut her tongue and something else happened. It hurt me. It was too pure, too much all at once, but it made me want more. It made me weak." He grabbed her hand, "But nothing happened. The kiss ended and the need for her went with it. It wasn't that I wanted her, but something to do with her power and mine."

She drew in a shaky breath, wiped her eyes and nodded as she squeezed his hand. "Okay."

"Okay? Okay? What does okay mean?"

She leaned closer. "It means you pass. You're story matches hers. You kissed. She's hot, I get that you were turned on, but it didn't go any further. You took responsibility for it, didn't lie and that's all I can expect."

"That's it?"

She laughed and kissed his cheek before settling back into her seat. "No." She added mysteriously and chuckled when his eyebrows rose in question. "But, don't you worry about the rest…I promise your punishment won't be too hard to take."

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

After they dropped Bobby off at the cabin, Sam and Kate drove back to her apartment. Bobby had declared it as safe as the cabin. He and Kate had spent hours doing a cleansing ritual and lining thresholds with salt. It was almost one in the morning and Sam couldn't sleep. His jolt from Logan had left him revved up and he watched as Kate went about making tea for her and hot chocolate for him. She laughed that he wanted such a girly drink but he shrugged and kissed the back of her neck while they waited for the water to boil.

She pushed him away. "Do you have even the foggiest understanding of the phrase: No strenuous activity?" She asked when his hands drifted up under her shirt to tease her breasts through her bra.

He chuckled. "It doesn't have to be strenuous does it? I mean I'll just lay there, let you do all the work. I swear."

She poured the water into two mugs and shook her head. "Really, you're incorrigible. What am I going to do with you?"

His eyebrows shot up as he stirred his chocolate. "Teach me a lesson?"

Her eyes rolled and she snorted. "Yeah, I bet…keep dreaming Winchester."

He groaned and sipped at his drink, watching her over the rim of his mug.

She sipped her tea and then set it down on the counter. "I'm going to change, get comfortable. Why don't you find something to watch?" She smiled. "Maybe there's some old Vincent Price on?" She winked when his eyes went wide and then he picked up the remote and flipped on the TV.

Kate hurried to her room. He never saw the wicked smile on her face.

Sam sank onto the couch, set his drink on the table and ran through the channels. He really wasn't paying attention. His thoughts ran to figuring how to get Kate naked. He dropped a hand to his lap and readjusted his quickly rising erection and he bit his lip at the sensation of his hand on his heavy flesh. A zing of pleasure shot through him and he felt like he was fifteen when he couldn't keep his hands off himself.

He realized he was watching some infomercial and Billy Mays was yelling his way through the product demonstration. Shit, why do people watch these things, then he realized he was actually half paying attention, hand stroking himself through his jeans. He laughed and sat up, reaching for his drink.

"Sam?" Kate called from the bedroom.

"Yeah?"

"Can you come here for a minute?"

He stood, calling as he moved. "You alright?"

He didn't get an answer, but he was to the door in no time. His jaw dropped and the pressure between his legs increased exponentially as his mouth went dry.

Kate giggled and moved toward him. She pressed her hand against his forehead. "Oh dear. I think you might have a fever." She slid an arm around his waist and guided him to the bed. "Let me tuck you into bed and take care of you."

Sam nodded, his eyes, all but, bugging from his head. If he'd fallen asleep and woken up in a porn fantasy. He didn't want to wake up.

Kate was wearing a short white dress, so short his could almost see the slip of satin between her legs. White thigh high stockings covered her legs leaving a four-inch gap of skin visible between where they ended and where the skirt began. She had on white heels that only made her long legs look longer. Her breasts were almost falling out of the tight button down bodice of the dress. A red stethoscope hung from around her neck and she had her hair piled up on her head in a messy heap that looked sexy as hell.

Sam had never seen her wear lipstick before, but the dark reddish purple color made him want to see those lips wrapped around his cock.

She unbuttoned his shirt, one button at a time as she spoke to him. "Are you experiencing any other symptoms, Mr. Winchester?" Her hand lingered on the lowest button, hovering just over his fly then she looked him in the eye and licked her lips. "Any usual swellings or pain?"

He nodded, unable to speak as she moved behind him, sliding the sleeves of his button down shirt from his arms, fingers teasing over the muscles of his shoulders and upper back, scratching lightly through his t-shirt.

She made it back to stand in front of him and reached into his waistband to free his t-shirt from his jeans. She made a soft sound in the back of her throat as she pulled the shirt over his head, exposing his chest. "Oh my…you are quite the specimen aren't you?"

She pulled her nails across his chest and he shivered when her fingers grazed his sensitive nipples. She leaned forward, he tongue brushing along his collarbone. "Mm. I need to cool you down." Her tongue moved to the hollow of his neck and then to his other collarbone, as her fingers played over the muscles of his side. "Oh, you're shivering. That can't be good." She pushed him into a sitting position and then knelt between his legs as she worked his shoes from his feet.

She smiled and lifted one large foot; leaning back, she braced it between her breasts and massaged the ball with her thumbs, as her breath teased over his toes. She lowered the left and did the same to the right. Then her hands ran lightly up the inside of his calf to his knees and then up his thighs.

His muscles jerked beneath her hands and his breathing became irregular, hitching as her hands climbed closer to his fly. He moaned and her hands fell away. His eyes popped open and he looked at her.

She shook her head. "I didn't mean to hurt you, but I need to complete my examination." She reached for the button on his jeans. "So, let's get you out of these pants."

Sam's breath caught as she worked his jeans open and then he stood so she could pull them down. He swallowed thickly when she didn't stand, but stayed on her knees. She tugged his jeans down, pulling his boxer briefs with them. He stepped out of the legs and then when she pushed, he sat back down, erection bobbing in the air and twitching when her breath blew against it. His hands fisted in the comforter and he groaned, deep and heavy.

Kate bit her cheek to keep from smiling. She nodded, and reached for his cock. She stroked it once and again, letting the smoothness slide against her palm and squeezing gently. The fingers of her other hand teased lower, playing over his balls. She smiled as she rolled them gently in her palms. Then she nodded and stood up.

"I need you to lay back, Mr. Winchester." She pushed lightly against his shoulder. "Now, tell me where it hurts."

"God, Kate…" He groaned as he settled back onto the pillow.

She made a disapproving sound in the back of her throat and shook her head, "Now that won't do." She leaned forward and pointed to a nametag on her chest. "Nurse Ross, Mr. Winchester. You'd be good to remember it." Her eyebrow shot up and she waited for him to acknowledge her words.

When he didn't' she cleared her throat. "I see you're going to be a difficult patient, aren't you?" She didn't wait for him to respond, just stepped away from the bed and moved to the chest at the bottom. She opened it and pulled a white box emblazoned with a red cross on it.

Sam stared in fascination and quiet lust as she moved. Her ass swayed and then when she bent over the bottom of the bed he could see right down her top and his breath caught painfully in his chest. He was going to die. He watched her return to the bedside and set the box beside him.

She smiled and shook her head. She tapped a finger against her pursed lips and watched his eyes. "What might help you remember?" She knelt beside the bed and opened the box with a flourish. She reached into the box and pulled out a small vibrating egg attached to a small remote.

Sam's eyes went wide. He heard the buzz when she flipped it on and held it in her hand then as he watched she moved it over her breasts. She circled each nipple and purred. His cock twitched when her mouth dropped open and then she trailed it lower over her belly and it disappeared from his sight.

She smiled and stood, knowing he couldn't see. She lifted on leg and settled it onto the edge of the bed. The let the hand with the egg dance down below the hem of her skirt and the she inched it up her thigh, her eyes on his the entire time. She smiled at the desperation she saw in them as he watched her. She flipped the switch and dropped the little vibrator back into the box. She picked the box up and straddled his lap, hiking the skirt up as she moved.

Sam's hands fell to her thighs, spanning the space above the stockings and he gasped sharply at the feel of damp satin pressing down on him. His hands grazed up her thighs.

Kate shook her head, "Now, now…don't get fresh Mr. Winchester. I'll be forced to restrain you."

Sam smiled at the threat and moved his hands to the small slip of elastic at her hips, "But, Nurse Ross…I'm just trying to make myself more comfortable." He pouted playfully.

She sighed and reached into the box she'd set beside her. She pulled something from the box. "Very well." She unraveled the restraints.

He heard the loud, sharp rip of Velcro and then something soft circled his left wrist. He made a half-hearted effort to resist and he enjoyed the soft laugh she gave him as she "forced" his hand down onto the bed beside his head.

Kate leaned up and over him, her breasts in his face as she fastened the first restraint to the headboard with a slipknot. Then she did the same to the right wrist, until his hands were secured. She nodded. "Good, now for your examination." She pulled the stethoscope from around her neck and listened to his chest.

"Your pulse is a bit fast." She teases fingers up his side as she listened and ground down against the thickness of him between her legs. "Oh, and a bit irregular." She leveled a serious look at him. "This could be very dangerous, Mr. Winchester. " She cocked her head to the side. "I've noticed you're breathing erratically also."

Sam moved beneath her. Lust pooled deep in his belly. He wanted more stimulation, but she kept teasing him. He groaned and thrust up against her and was rewarded when she gasped.

Her hands fell to his chest where her nails grazed his nipples again. "Now, does anything hurt?"

Sam nodded and looked at her pleadingly.

"Here?" She asked as she bent to kiss him, tongue teasing his lips open and falling inside to tease.

Sam pulled against the restraints wanting to pull her closer and then he groaned in frustration when the restraints only gave an inch before tightening.

Kate smiled against him and bit playfully at his bottom lip. She sat up. "Any pain?"

He shook his head, and gruffed out, "Lower."

Her eyebrows rose and she bent over him again. Her lips moving down his neck to his chest, forcing her to scoot down lower in the bed. She kissed and licked over his collarbones, and then down to his nipples. She paused and looked up at him, "Here?" She blinked wide-eyed at him.

He tossed his head side to side and groaned, "Lower, please…"

"Please who?" Kate asked, pinching his left nipple sharply, making him gasp.

"Nurse Ross, please…lower…" His head fell back into the pillow when she soothed the nipple with her tongue.

She suckled softly at each nipple, fingers grazing ahead of her head, moving steadily lower. She ran her nails down his side to his hips and he moved below her.

He chuckled softly and drew in a ragged breath when her tongue found his navel and dipped inside to taste and tease. His hands fisted around the straps of the restraints and he groaned deep as her breasts brushed over his cock, teasing, but not providing enough stimulation. He started to beg. "Please, please, Kate, Nurse Ross…god please…"

Kate laughed. "Lower?"

"Yes…please…"

She knelt between his legs and saw him watching her. She lowered her head as she gripped the base of him. She flicked her tongue over the tip of him, tasting the headiness of the precum collected there. She teased the slit and then wrapped her mouth around him, tongue moving across the bottom of the slightly flared head. She pulled back and licked her lips wickedly, smiling at him. "Mm." Then she lowered her head and took him in as deep as she could. She bobbed over him; hand on the base of him as he thrust up into her slick mouth.

He couldn't stand it and he pressed his head into the pillow and gave over to the sensation. She paused and then was back to sucking and licking and pulling him with her mouth. He was in heaven, or he thought he was until he heard the quiet buzzing of the egg again.

Kate smiled around his cock and using her free hand brought the egg against the base of him before sliding it down and under his sac.

Sam's hips shot up off the bed in a wild buck, almost dislodging Kate as she sat between his legs. A roar came from his throat, followed by a rush of jumbled words. "Mother fuck…holy…damn…what…_pant and moan_…god…heaven…"

Kate giggled and pulled her mouth from his cock. Her eyebrow rose, "Do you have a problem with my treatment, Mr. Winchester?" She moved the small vibrator around the base of him again and then slid it back and behind his balls and pressed it lightly into the tender area there while her free hand stroked him up and down.

He gasped and swallowed, hands pulling almost violently against the restraints, eyes wide and he shook his head. It was intense.

She nodded. "Good." She lowered her head to him again and resumed her bobbing motions for several more minutes.

Sam was in heaven or hell, which ever way you wanted to look at it. He wanted to explode and empty himself down Kate's throat with a hurried rush of thrusting, but not only was she keeping her rhythm from letting him accomplish that he really didn't want the torture to end. He whimpered and made a desperate sound in his throat.

She paused, mouth still around him, but her eyes on his. She lowered her head slowly, twisting her head as she did, moving the vibrator slowly up his length just behind her mouth and then let him fall from her mouth with a moist sucking sound. "Are you having some trouble enduring the treatment?"

Sam nodded frantically, his cock wept. "Yes." He was desperate to come and desperate not to. He didn't like the wicked smile that came to her lips, especially when she turned back to her box.

She pulled out a small black ring. Four "beads" sat at compass points around the thing. She smiled. "I can help with that."

She moved over his cock, one hand pulling lube from the box and she added a drop to the ring. Then she stretched it some and slid it over the head of his cock then her mouth followed. She slid the ring lower, her mouth moving with it until the ring sat firmly at the base of his cock.

He arched into her hands, into her mouth. His heels pressed into the bed, strung tight as he vibrated with need. "My fucking god…damn." He yelled into the room.

Kate continued to use her mouth on him, teasing and tasting as she pulled and sucked. He bucked beneath her and then she finally stopped and sat back to watch him.

Sweat covered him, his hair was sticking to his face and the sheen on his chest made liquid heat pour into her. She bent over him, running her tongue up his side from hip to ribs, teasing over his nipple and lapping at the small well at the base of his throat. Her lips found his.

He kissed her frantically, needing her, wanting her. He was so frustrated and it pulled at him. He wanted to see more of her, touch her and taste her. He pulled against the straps holding his wrists and tore his mouth from hers. "Let me go…need to touch you…"

She slid from him and shook her head. "Oh, no…" She reached for the first button on her dress. "I need to finish your treatment." She winked. "I would be a shit nurse if I didn't follow orders." She was on the last button and then she reached for the little zipper at the side of the skirt. Then she pushed the dress down her body.

He watched her shimmy side to side as she pushed the dress from her. It hit the floor and she stood there in a white g-string and barely there bra, the cups cut so that her nipples showed just above the lace. She walked a few steps from the bed so he could get the entire effect, his head straining to watch every movement.

"Fucking hot…" He groaned when she bent over and then stood smiling at him over her shoulder. "Tease."

She nodded, "Oh, I promised the best naughty nurse, I plan on delivering Mr. Winchester." She moved to the bed and reached for the box. She pulled another vibrator from it, this one acrylic, cock shaped and bright red. She turned the base and it sprang to life with a loud buzz.

Sam's mouth watered when she brought it to her lips and tongued the tip before sliding it deep into her mouth. He watched as she blew it, slowly moving it in and out. He groaned when she dragged it down her throat, purring as she did so.

She circled her nipples with it and then pressed it into the cleavage between her breasts and moved it up and down between them, licking the tip when it touched her lips.

"Please…shit, you've got to stop." He wasn't sure how much more he could handle. The ring on his cock kept him hard, wanting, needing and close to orgasm. His eyes caught hers and she smiled and winked as the vibrator grazed her belly and then the tip disappeared inside the slip of satin between her legs.

Kate was on edge, hyped from the teasing. Her knees went weak when she slid the dildo against her clit, the strength of the vibration taking her by surprise. Her eyes shot open and a small keening moan filled the room as she rocked into it. Her orgasm stunned her and pulled her under.

Sam smiled as she came; he saw the shock on her face and knew she hadn't been expecting it. He chuckled and thrust into the air, wishing for some stimulation.

She trembled, knees shaking and then she smiled and moved toward the bed. She ran the vibrator along Sam's leg, teasing it up his length and then paused. She slid the heels from her feet and put a foot near his hip, she tilted her body so that she was facing him. Then she slid the satin to the side and slid the vibrator against the wetness between her legs. She moaned and bit her lip before pulling it back.

Sam watched as she let the tip hover just between her labia then she slowly moved it inside. He watched as it disappeared and then slid out. He heard the obscenely wet sound as she began to move it in and out in a slow but steady rhythm. He'd never seen anything sexier. God, he couldn't think, he was so focused on watching her fuck herself with a plastic cock.

Kate didn't know how much of a turn on having him watch her do, this was going to be, but she felt this orgasm build and then pull at her as she moved the vibrator in and out. She rolled her hips into it and clenched around it, eyes drifting closed as her mouth fell open. She moaned and panted.

"You like that?" Sam's voice was deep and desperate. "You like fucking yourself while I watch helpless and hard sitting right here?" He swallowed and licked his lips. "God, I need you so badly, I'm so hard Kate…can't wait to be inside you, to feel you wrapped around me."

He wanted to touch her and was frustrated he couldn't. "Let me go Kate, let me touch you." His darkened eyes found hers and he nodded when she whimpered. "Let me taste you, baby." He groaned when she increased her rhythm and brought up her other hand to rub at her clit. "Yeah, make yourself come baby…wanna watch you. Want to see your eyes go wide and her thighs quiver…want to hear you yell my name." He watched her nod and he smiled. "Do it, Kate…fuck yourself and come."

She did, her head fell back and her hips thrust forward, "Saaamm, fuck…." She pulled the vibrator from between her legs and fell across his chest, heaving and shivering.

"Untie, me baby…please. Need you." He kissed at the side of her head and her left arm found the Velcro at his left wrist. She released it.

Sam's hand was immediately on the other restraint and he freed himself quickly. He was up on his knees and bent over Kate in seconds. His mouth on hers, he kissed her roughly, biting her lips and tongue. His hands roved her body, pulled her nipples to hard peaks and drifted over her belly. His mouth followed the path of his hands. Biting and sucking her nipples. Sharp pain mixed with white hot pleasure as he moved down her body.

Kate sighed and moved beneath him. He was overwhelming her with sensation. He moved too quickly for her over stimulated nervous system to compensate. She was drowning and she didn't want to be rescued. His mouth drifted over her hip, biting softly and then nosed into her curls, mouth open and tongue extended.

He groaned when he tasted her all sweet and dripping across his tongue. He fucked his tongue into her, thrusting deep and licking up to her clit. He sucked and teased.

She thrust up into his mouth desperately, her hand gripping his hair. Her head tossed side to side and small, desperate sounds came from deep in her throat. The neediness of them embarrassing her. Suddenly, Sam was gone and she looked up.

He smiled all kinds of wicked at her and then showed her what he had in his hand. The red vibrator touched the skin of her belly and then he dragged it lower. Sam watched as he slid it deep inside her. He groaned and gasped. "That is fucking hot, baby…" He thrust it in and out, enjoying the way her body moved against it then he lowered his mouth to her clit. He hovered just above her. "You want me to? You want me to eat you while I fuck you with your own vibrator?"

She nodded desperately, "God yes, please, Sam…please." There were desperate tears in her eyes, her body so close.

He chuckled and lowered his mouth to her. He licked over her and thrust the dildo deep inside her; he let the thing slide along his tongue and felt himself tighten. His eyes drifted shut as he licked and bit gently at her while he moved it in and out, pushing her closer, higher.

The way her hand gripped and released his hair and the sounds that came from her throat let him know how close she was. He thrust harder and licked with increased pressure.

Her body arched sharply off the bed and she screamed his name into the room.

Sam sat up suddenly. He pulled the box of toys toward him and found the condoms. He tore into them, slipped off the ring and pulled the condom on in record time. He flipped her to her belly, raised her ass into the air and thrust into her in one long, hard motion.

"Fuck, yes…my god Kate…" he sat buried, as he gathered his tattered control. Then he moved, gripped her hips and slid slowly in and out.

Kate sobbed when he slid inside. Her face buried in the comforter. She was sensitive from the orgasm and the new intrusion was overly stimulating. She panted and bucked against Sam as he moved in her. She wanted him to stop, but didn't want him to pull out. She rose up her knees.

Sam caught her shoulders and pulled her back against his chest, as he thrust sharply into her. He knew he wouldn't last much longer. He kissed her jaw and neck. His hands teased her breasts and he whispered against her ear. "So beautiful, Kate…need you so much…can't get enough, love what you do to me...baby…yes…feels so fucking perfect."

She whimpered and moved with him, her hand dropping to her clit and she came almost immediately with a loud sobbing moan.

He let her fall forward as she clenched around him and thrust more intensely against her. He thrust hard, pulling her back into his hips, his balls slapped against her ass and tightened, his cock swelled and then he came. He thrust several more times and then pulled out, and falling to his back.

Kate settled on her belly, half across him, half on the bed, with her head resting on his chest. She was a boneless mass and she smiled and pressed a sloppy kiss just above his nipple.

Sam felt her smile. "Satisfied are you?" He whispered, sleepily.

She nodded. "That work for you?"

He chuckled. "Yeah. Perfect, better than the fantasy."

Her head popped up so she could see his face, a light blush graced her cheeks. "Really?"

He leaned up and kissed her gently. Their tongues met and caressed before he pulled back with a nod. "Hmm, perfect. Now I just have to figure out one thing."

Her brows furrowed and she yawned, "What?"

"How to start the _Dear Penthouse_ letter…"

"Smartass."

"Probably, but come on Kate, that was hot."

She nodded. "I'm not going to disagree." She settled back onto his chest and stretched leisurely. "We're gonna have to move you know."

He shook his head, "Why?" His voice held a whining tone.

"Getting cold, need the blankets." She sat up. "I gotta use the bathroom anyway." She kissed his nose and scooted from the bed. "Want anything?"

He shook his head and watched her stand. She put a foot on the bed and rolled one stocking slowly down her leg. He was tired, but he was male and that was sexy. He smiled. "You keep doing that and you aren't going to sleep much when you get back."

She shook her head. Then she put the other foot on the bed and rolled the other stocking down. "You don't say?" She winked and started to walk from the room with a smile on her face. She paused at the door and looked over her shoulder with a pout. "We'll see if your, um _up_ to it when I get back."

Sam groaned and fell back onto the bed. Now, he was convinced. She really was attempting to kill him.

_**NOTE:** Hey, two chapters in 24 hours. I know it's crazy, but I'm posting as I can because once classes start things will slow down again. Not only two chatpers, but two chapters of naughtiness...That's just crazy!!_

_Okay, again feed the muse. Particularly because of the smut...she feels used when ;)  
_


	88. Time Breaks Us, Will it Make Us Strong?

She heard her name. It sounded far away, but it woke her and she lifted her head from the sheet and pushed the pillow off her head with a soft, "Huh?"

Bobby was at the door of the bedroom. "You wanna talk, you better get up girl." He motioned to the window. "It's five AM and I'm leaving in thirty." He shook his head. "Coffee's done, now get a move on."

He pulled the door closed quietly behind him.

A hand lay warm and heavy on her hip and she slid toward the edge of the bed, making sure not to wake the man attached to it. She hurried, pulled on her clothes and used the bathroom. She grimaced into mirror as she slicked her hair back with wet hands, ran a brush through it and secured it at the nape of her neck with an elastic band. Then she went out to the kitchen.

Bobby was sitting at the counter, coffee in hand, as he studied the map that was laid out across the work surface. He motioned to the second cup sitting beside him. "Sit with me."

She smiled and settled on the stool beside him. They'd spent hours like this before, drinking coffee early in the morning, planning driving routes and hunts. She lifted the cup and sipped, watching as he used a highlighter to mark a route on the map.

He didn't look up from what he was doing. "You have a few things to explain."

The mug paused halfway to her mouth. "As in?"

The highlighter cap made a clicking sound as Bobby capped it. He lifted his head and shifted so that he was facing his niece. His eyes caught the scratches on her face and he frowned then sipped his coffee. He looked to his cup. "You know, I threatened that boy in there. Told him I'd neuter him if he so much as caused you a paper cut, but Logan you need to know he's like a son to me. Both of them are. I helped their crazy obsessed father drag them through their pimple faced, awkward stage. I'm the one they turn to when they're broken and need a place to call home." He looked up at her. "I didn't figure he'd be the one getting hurt or that you'd be doing it by messing with Sam."

Logan didn't need to know how Bobby knew. It didn't matter. "It wasn't anything I wanted or planned on doi…"

"Stop it right there, Shane Logan Anam McCree. Don't you dare use that lousy excuse on me." He glared at her and then pointed toward the bathroom. "That boy in there didn't want or plan on falling for you either. In fact, unlike you, he went out of his way to be more stubborn than his heart." He picked up his mug and drained it. "Plans mean bullshit and you know it. They're fucking guidelines and they only work if all sides do their part."

He moved to the coffee pot and refilled his mug, his movements were angry. He sighed. "Look. I love you and I love those boys, but you're getting mixed up in the lives of both of them in a way that just ain't right. You're going to break them and yourself and I can't stand for that."

"I'm going to New Mexico with you."

Bobby stared, mouth open. He closed his mouth and then nodded. "Well hell, that was a sight damned easier than I thought it would be." He smiled. "You better get your shit together then." He glanced at his watch. "I'm giving you thirty minutes to pack."

Logan frowned, a knife twisting in her gut. She nodded, headed toward the bedroom and then stopped and tuned back to her uncle. "It's not gone, Bobby." The sob caught in her throat. "It's not gone and it doesn't matter." She wiped at her face, watched Bobby stare at her, confused at the sudden change in her demeanor. "I saw it. Saw what happens, saw that there isn't anything we can do to stop it."

"Logan, what the hell are yo…"

"He's going to hell. Dean's going to hell. Sam's still covered in Azazel's blood and," she took a deep, shuddering breath, "and Dean doesn't know."

"Were you planning on telling me before you left with Bobby, or just sending me a postcard, 'Hey, New Mexico is great. Miss you and by the way keep your knife sharp, you never know when Sam might turn.'?"

A gasp flew from her lips as she turned. Dean stood behind her, almost to the kitchen, bare-chested, jeans on, but still undone, his hair matted with sleep.

"Dean…" she took a step toward him, reaching for his arm.

"No." He stepped to the side, moved around her and toward Bobby. He looked the old hunter in the eye and then looked away when he saw his pity. He pulled a mug from the cabinet, forcing himself to move, smoothly. "Dammit Bobby, get her the hell out of here before I hurt her." He ground out as he poured coffee.

Bobby caught his niece's eyes. "Logan, twenty-seven minutes. Move."

A short sob filled the silence, and then she moved up the hall. The door slammed, the sound echoed back into the kitchen.

"Son…"

"Don't Bobby…she's lied to me over and over again, I can't do it anymore." He looked at the cup in his hand, raised it to his mouth and then cursed. "Fuck." He poured half of it into the sink and then reached for the box that held the whiskey. He filled the cup back up and then drank.

"That whiskey ain't gonna help anything." Bobby sipped at his coffee and watched the young man. "She'd already told me she was coming with me. I know you're hurt," Bobby glared when Dean started to speak, "and don't interrupt me boy. I know what she did with Sam yesterday. She told me, but it seems you two kinda found a way past that." He stared into Dean's face. "You were both naked in that bed and it smells like a damned whore house in there."

In spite of himself, Dean's lips twitched upward. "And, how exactly, old man, would you know what a whore house smells like?"

He chuckled. "Another time, maybe I'll share that story with you, but right now you're listening. I ain't happy about what she did and I told her that, told her there were no excuses. You have every right to be angry at her for it. Hell, kick her out of your bed, tell her to get lost…I wouldn't fault you one bit for it, but…" He stepped closer to the younger man, put a hand on his arm and waited until Dean raised his head. "But, this thing she did with Sam's power. She wasn't lying to you when she told you she thought it was gone. I was there. She was devastated."

Something curled in Dean's gut. He wanted to believe Bobby, wanted to believe that she hadn't lied to him, but his mind wouldn't latch on to it. It was too convenient. Pretend to pull out the power, do some mojo inside Sam so even he thinks it's gone, but there's an escape route. His power's still there and at the final showdown…well boom; Sam's power kicks in and they save Dean's ass. Was she really expecting 'happily ever after'? Did she think he wouldn't care after everything was done?

His hands tightened around the mug and his eyes flashed. "Doesn't matter. I need her gone." He finished off his coffee. "I need time to think without her getting all wrapped up in my head and my heart." He looked at the hunter beside him. "She's fouled me up, Bobby. I can't think. I can't focus on anything. She's there constantly." He swallowed and refused the tears he felt burning in his eyes and catching in his throat. "She makes me forget…"

A sad smile slipped onto Bobby's face. "She makes you love, boy."

"I can't afford love right now." He straightened. "I have to focus, try to get out of this deal so I can be there to keep Sam safe." He shook his head. "She needs to go with you. I need time and space to figure things out. I can't keep on like this."

"I agree. Let me take her to New Mexico. I'll keep her gone a couple of weeks and then we'll meet back up." He finished the coffee and started folding the map. "By then, maybe you'll see things different."

His own mug was empty and he set it down. "Yeah, maybe..."

Mumbled curse words came up the hallway, followed by Logan. A duffle bag slung over each arm. She moved past Dean and her uncle to drop them by the front door. Then she ducked up into the loft and returned with a small pack. She carefully placed it on the other two bags and then sat on the couch to put on her boots.

Bobby grunted and shuffled to the front door. "I'm gonna load your stuff in and gas up the truck." He pulled on his jacket and then was out the door.

Neither of them acknowledged the other. Dean stood in the kitchen, leaning against the counter while Logan stayed on the couch, even after her boots were on. A stand off, of sorts, but Logan wasn't as stubborn as Dean.

She stood with a sigh and walked to the kitchen where she retrieved her coffee mug. It was cold, but she didn't care and she tipped it back, draining it quickly. She grimaced and then put the mug in the sink.

Her body brushed his as she stood by the sink and he ignored it, arm's crossed stubbornly over his chest.

"Look. I'm going with Bobby. What else do you want from me?"

A snort, "We could start with straight answers, no lies..." _Time, better timing, the chance to be happy…_he added in his head.

"I've never lied to you, Dean. Ever."

"Fine, maybe something weird did happen, but it doesn't excuse the fact that you were gonna leave and not tell me or that you didn't tell me when you found out, or...fuck." He ran a hand through his hair and turned to look down at her.

One hand moved to her shoulder and down her arm to her hip, another hand cupped her cheek, gently brushing the scratches left behind from the bar fight. He pressed into her, savored the feel of her against him. He let her scent wash over him.

A sound caught in her throat as she watched his eyes move over her. Her own hands moved to his chest. She echoed his motion and cupped his jaw, fingers moving over the light bruise she knew she'd created. "I'm sorry." She left out, _for the bruise, for not telling you, for everything…_

He covered the hand on his face with his own. "I know you are Logan, but it doesn't make everything go away. I can't flip a switch and turn off the hurt."

Her eyes fell. "I know, but I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too. Last night, I never sh…"

"Shh. I don't want to hear anything about it." She closed her eyes and ground her teeth. The memory of hearing and knowing what he was doing in that bathroom made her sick to her stomach. "I need space too, Dean. If you were trying to hurt me more than I hurt you, I think you managed." Her eyes opened, wet with tears. "Part of my heart broke, it's going to take time to put it back together."

The truth was in her eyes, he could see it and the pain in his gut intensified. He sighed and stepped away, moved out of her space. "You have my number, call me."

She wiped at her eyes, refusing to cry. "You have mine." She stepped around him and moved to the chair where she'd left her jacket. She pulled it on, zipped it. She bent and picked the smaller pack from the floor where Bobby had left it leaning against the wall. "Think I'll walk, meet Bobby up by the lodge."

Dean nodded, hands gripping the counter, fighting the desire to tell her not to go, but knowing he needed her to; needed the time to figure things out. "Be careful, Logan. Keep an eye on the old man. Will you?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I will." She saw the tenseness in his body and knew it echoed the way her own felt. There was physical pain in leaving him. She looked at him, felt the tears just touching her lashes and she swallowed the sob as she turned for the door. "I love you." She managed, as she pulled the door open, paused, and then waited with her back to the kitchen, too afraid of what she might see on his face and in his eyes.

"I know." His voice was tight and part of him felt bad for not saying it back, about not letting her know, but he couldn't, he wasn't ready. He wasn't ready to admit it; it was too loud and too plain. Words had power. Saying it meant it was real and he wasn't ready for it be that real. He cleared his throat. "Call me when you make Chaco Canyon."

The tears fell as she closed her eyes. She gave a curt nod, shut the door on the man behind her and walked out into the cold.

_**Note:** Okay, so lay it on me. I know some of you are throwing things at your screen right now. I'm sorry, well not really, but don't give up. This story's almost over; only one, maybe two chapters left. Then, well, then the story continues, but...well you'll have to wait and see. _

_Leave a comment and feed the muse. Thanks to EVERYONE for reading, reviewing and for all you lurkers out there...remember anonymous reviews are welcome.  
_


	89. We Could Run Away, Be on Our Own Again

_**Note:** Haven't done this before but. The song that goes with this chapter is. We Could Run Away by Needtobreathe._

The door flew open and Sam stumbled in, laughing as he pulled Kate behind him. He almost fell when he tripped over the weapons duffle. He caught himself and then he did fall when Kate stumbled into him and knocked him off balance. He grabbed onto her as they fell together.

She landed on top of him, smiling down before she took advantage of the situation to press a quick kiss to his surprised face. Then she stood and offered him a hand up. "Clumsy this morning aren't you?" She tugged upward when he grabbed her hand. "Maybe I took too much out of you last night?"

Sam smirked and pulled her into his chest when he stood. He bent and kissed her ear as he whispered, "And twice this morning…" He slapped her ass. "…and you haven't fed me yet, so yeah. I'm blaming the clumsiness entirely on you." He gave her a disapproving look, "What kind of nurse are you? Leaving your patient all weak and half starved?"

Her giggle was infectious and he chuckled along with her as he glanced around the room, his arm still around Kate's waist. Dean had packed. Dean had packed Sam's stuff. He didn't usually do that. Sam could hear the dryer whirring and one bag was still open on the counter.

"Logan? Dean? Where're you at man?" He glanced up to the loft when his brother's head popped over the half wall.

"Here."

"What the hell are you doing?" He motioned to the bags.

Dean stood. "Making sure we don't leave anything. " He held a sock and a pair of boxers triumphantly over his head. "I'm getting low on socks and it never hurts to have a few extra pair of drawers." He made his way down to the main floor and then dropped the dirty clothes into the open bag. He motioned to the dryer. "Last load and we're done." He glanced around. "I already checked the bedroom, both bathrooms; I swept up the salt, packed up the food and put most of our stuff in the trunk."

The arm around him tightened as Kate moved closer to him. He glanced to her and smiled as he squeezed back. They'd talked this morning. She knew they would be heading out today. She'd said goodbye earlier, but she hadn't cried. Sam knew she would soon.

"So, where's Logan?" Sam moved over the bags and pulled out one of the counter stools. He sat, pulling Kate between his legs and loosely wrapping his arms around her. He wanted to keep her as close as he could, until he had to leave.

Dean grunted and frowned. He looked at the clock. "Probably half-way to New Mexico by now."

"She actually left?"

Dean nodded and caught his brother's eyes. He let Sam see his hurt before blinking and moving to the dryer. He pulled it open and pulled the clothes out. "Yeah. Bobby needed some help with his case."

"Dean…I'm…"

"Don't say it, Sam. Just let it go, drop it." He moved to the open bag and shoved the unfolded clothes in.

Sam watched, hoping they were actually dry. He wouldn't put it past his brother to shove damp clothes into a bag when he was in a hurry to hit the road.

"It wasn't just that." Dean's eyes caught Sam's again, ensuring Sam knew exactly what "that" he was referring to. "I know about Azazel's blood too. She wasn't even going to tell me."

Kate stepped away from Sam. "I need to use the bathroom." She pointed down the hall.

Sam squeezed her hand in thanks and moved to the couch.

He slumped beside the bag, moving it to the floor. "Sit down." He stared up at his older, obtuse brother and waited.

"Sam, I don't want to tal…"

"Shut up. Sit." Sam glared until his brother finally slouched onto the couch with a pout on his face. "Hell Dean, you look like you did when Dad sat us down and told us about sex."

Dean smirked. "If I remember Sammy, you just turned bright red and left your mouth hanging open. Dude, you were so disgusted."

"I was eleven. I deserved a few more years of innocence and if it weren't for Dad finding you with that girl, I could've had em."

Dean chuckled. "Oh, Sammy…she wasn't even my first."

Sam held up his hand. "God Dean, I know. I remember your first. I was in the same room, trying to sleep in the other bed, remember." He shook his head. "Sarah something or other…you two were supposedly 'wrestling'. I only realized what you had done while dad was telling us about STDs, condoms and how girls got pregnant." He chuckled. "Damn, that was just bad…"

There was a comfortable silence for a minute, the boys lost in their own thoughts.

"Dean. I'm sorry."

"It wasn't your fault Sammy. You didn't kiss her."

"I know, but I know it hurt you." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "We didn't know about the power until just then you know. The kiss zapped it back into my consciousness. It was buried before then. Neither of us knew it wasn't gone until she kissed me."

"Do you believe that Sam?" He watched his brother's face. "Do you really believe she didn't know?"

He nodded. "I do, but I told her you probably wouldn't."

"I don't."

Sam shook his head and nudged Dean's knee. "I knew you'd feel that way, but I don't think you know why you feel that way."

"That makes no sense, bitch."

Sam sat back. "Yeah, it does. You need to believe she lied so you have something to jamb between the two of you. Something that makes you angry enough so you don't admit that you love her. That you need her and want her more than any woman you've ever been with before." He watched his brother's face and knew he was right. "She scares you. She makes you want to believe in happy endings and forever. She makes you want to fight. To stay out of hell anyway you can." He swallowed. "You feel guilty because she makes you regret making the deal."

He stood in a sudden rush, moving from the couch and pacing the room. "Fuck that's not true, Sam."

He smiled sadly at his older brother. "It's okay Dean, I get it." He stood and grabbed Dean's shoulder. "You do know you're allowed to want to be happy. You know that right?"

Angry, bitter tears bit at him. "Sam. I don't regret it, I don't. I'd do it all over again. I'd trade my life for yours. I do wish things were different. I wish I had the time to be the boyfriend, the fiancé and husband; maybe even a father." He wiped at his eyes, his pain a physical presence in the room. "God Sam, I just never thought it would be this hard to let go. I know you're still breathing, but the more connections I make, the harder it's getting." He breathed hard and jagged. "I'm afraid I'll miss something, or never get to experience it again and I'm afraid to hurt everyone when I'm gone."

Sam pulled Dean into his arms and clung, his own tears on his face. "It's okay to feel that way man, but locking people out just makes them feel like they've lost you already. You aren't dead yet. You need to keep living. It's selfish if you don't. We need you. I need you, so stop being a jerk and live damn it."

Arms tightened and pulled. "I'm sorry Sam…so damned sorry for everything."

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

The weather was nice, sunny, and unseasonably warm. Dean leaned against the car, waiting for Sam and Kate to finish saying goodbye. Blue Oyster Cult played through the open window and he tapped his foot to the rhythm, not paying attention to the song as he watched his brother hold the girl in his arms.

They kissed, slow and long and she pulled Sam against her like she'd never see him again. He watched how gentle Sam was with her. How he held her face when the kiss broke and stared at her. He knew he was memorizing her face, the color of her eyes and remembering how she smiled at him after they'd made love. Shit, he swallowed back his own emotion and dropped his eyes to gather his thoughts. The music paused between tracks and few words made their way across the parking lot.

"Miss you…call me,"

"I will, remember…salt…anything happens…Dean's number and Bobby's…"

The music started and he couldn't hear again. He saw Sam bend and kiss her gently before he stepped back, still holding her hand. Sam reached into the collar of her shirt and nodded when he pulled the possession amulet from below her shirt. Dean saw her smile.

Dean nodded. They looked good together. They fit. He liked Kate and he wanted Sam to be happy. He watched them walk toward him and then Kate stopped. She reached into her pocket and pulled something out. It was small and Dean couldn't tell what it was. She looked a little shy as she pressed it into Sam's hand. They were close enough for Dean to hear over the music.

"Will you wear this? I put it together for you."

Sam looked in his hand. "A medicine bag?"

She nodded and wiped at her eyes. "It's otter skin."

His eyebrow arched and he nodded. "Strong."

"There's quartz from the hot spring, salt, sage and cedar ash from my hearth, a lock of my hair wrapped around a small piece of cottonwood root, one of my silver bear earrings and some blue corn." She smiled up at him and blinked back more tears. "You should add what you feel you need."

Sam felt his own eyes fill with tears and he lifted the small bag, sliding the leather strip over his head and tucking the bag under his shirts to lie over his heart. "Thank you."

Kate pulled a second one from her pocket and slid it over her head. "The same thing, only I kept the hair they shaved from your head and used it with the cottonwood." She blushed and wrapped herself around Sam. She cried softly. "Promise me I'll see you again."

Sam held her and kissed the top of her head. "You will. I promise."

She pulled back and nodded as she smiled and grabbed his hand to tug him toward the Impala. "Your brother's going to get antsy." She giggled.

"He'll be alright." He looked to Dean and was surprised by the look on his face. His brother almost looked happy. "You ready bro?"

Dean nodded and stepped toward them. He pulled Kate into a hug. "Take care, stay out of trouble and keep your partner in line will you?" He kissed her temple and then let her go.

She laughed. "I'll try, but he's impossible. I do need you to do me a favor, though."

"What?"

"Stop being so hard on yourself and darken my door really soon."

"That's two favors, Ross, but I'm in a good mood, so I'll humor you and I'll try, I will."

"Good. I expect to see you two soon, then." She leaned in and kissed him neatly on the lips. She pulled back and sighed. "Behave." She whispered into his ear.

Dean's eyebrows shot up and he gave Sam a look.

Sam shook his head. "Hey, not fair. Do I get another kiss?"

Kate shook her head and moved to stand in front of Sam. "Of course."

"Better make it better than his." Sam pouted playfully.

She didn't hesitate, as she slid her arms around him and pulled his head down to hers. Her lips were just a gentle pressure that gradually increased in pressure. She gasped when he pulled her close and she felt his tongue push past her lips. She let him take what he wanted, and tried to memorize the taste of feel of him. The car started and she could feel it rumble through Sam and into her. She smiled against his lips.

He pulled back, kissed her nose and her eyes. "What?"

"Mmm, that car. She purrs." She winked. "I think next time I see you, well somehow that car is gonna be involved." She leaned into him.

Sam threw his head back and laughed. He pulled the door open and dipped his head to see his brother. "She wants me in the Impala, Dean. How do you feel about that?"

The radio clicked off. "No way Sammy. She's mine, not yours. Meaning only I have rights to the backseat." He leaned over the seat until he could see Kate. "Sorry sister, no Sammy in the Chevy."

She laughed and kissed Sam's cheek as she pulled the door wide and pushed him inside. She leaned down as he sat so she could see Dean. "What you don't know won't hurt you, now will it?" She shook her head, looked from Sam to Dean. "Be careful. I'll see you guys soon, right?"

Dean nodded.

Sam smiled and kissed her one last time on the cheek.

She stood and shut the door.

Dean backed out and then straitened the car.

Kate raised her hand and waved. Fresh tears sprang to her eyes as she watched the car disappear down the lane. She sighed, wrapped her arms around herself then turned back toward her apartment and her ordinary life. Something inside telling her that she probably wasn't going to see them, ever again.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

It was too quiet. The road sang to them as they wandered in and out of their own thoughts. Dean sighed. He was glad to be moving, to be going somewhere, even if he had no idea where they were going. He was driving southeast and had been for several hours now.

"Where to Sammy? Some place without snow, where the temperature goes above thirty-two? You know, drinks with umbrellas?" His eyebrows rose expectantly.

Sam shook his head. "Don't know. I guess if you want. Someplace warm might be good." He frowned and looked to his brother. "Yeah, why not," his eyes tracked the scenery, "you have any leads?"

Dean glanced and shook his head. "Nah, just driving, bro, need to move."

"Yeah, we haven't stayed that still in a long time."

"Well, you getting hit by a car kinda forced us to stay longer. I'm blaming this one on you."

Sam's snort was loud, "That wasn't my fault and my excuse is entirely valid. I was in the hospital. What are you gonna do? That excuse is watertight. I mean, not like the last time we stayed someplace an entire week…" He let the words trail off with a roll of his eyes.

"Hey." He glared at Sam. "Veronica was valid…" a hazy look set into his eyes and then he chuckled. "Oh, Sammy…trust me, she was tight."

"God Dean, you're disgusting."

"Me?" He flipped on the radio. "You're girlfriend let me in on a little secret."

"I'll bite. What, pray tell, did she tell you?"

"She recommended I pick up the next several copies of Penthouse."

The innocent look on Sam's face only confirmed it.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Dean."

"You're a lousy liar. Never knew you had a nurse fetish, Sammy…hmm, maybe you weren't adopted after all?"

Dean never saw the finger that flicked his ear, but he flinched and rubbed at it, "Ow! Dammit Sam, that hurt."

"Jerk."

"That's right bitch," He smiled and winked to his little brother, "and don't you ever forget it." He laughed as he turned the radio up and sang along.

_**Note:** Well most of you didn't threaten me and only a few threw things last chapter ;) I know, but they're Winchesters. They can't stay there...they have to move, they have things to kill and deal to try and break... _

_Kate will show up again...eventually. I know, some of you were hoping for happily ever after, but you won't find that here._

_I have another chapter. It's a transitional one, ties up some loose ends. My take on "No Rest for the Wicked". Then this story is done...BUT I'll follow into the new season with another story. Your favorite characters will be back...again, eventually. Some, sooner than others. You'll have all kinds of new reasons to hate me :)_

_You know my muse needs love. So love her, feed her, help her grow and trust me I appreciate every comment, so feel free to comment, suggest or just plain bitch at me about something ;)_

_**NOTE 2:** Totally off subject. I co-wrote a one-shot with the talented, _winchesterxgirl_. The piece is called "Possessed" and it's total smut...what did you expect? _

_ Go on over to her page and read it if you want. We'd both appreciate your comments.  
_


	90. It's Over Now

Sam was obsessed, his mind only on finding Dean a way out of the deal. Hell, even Bobby was obsessed. Total mother hens the both of them and he wanted to bitch slap them and scream. _It's me. I'm the one dying._ He wanted to see Sam happy. He wanted to spend the time he had happy, not stressed out about maybe finding a way out. He was pissed. He tossed bags into the trunk and slammed it shut.

The sound of Sam's voice came to him and he smiled. He was talking to Kate, he could tell just by listening that Sam was smiling. It was almost the only time Sam did smile anymore and the knife twisted in Dean's gut. Two weeks to the day, that's all he had left.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

_Two Days Later…_

The motel room was actually nicer than the usual places they stayed. The décor wasn't dated or campy. The carpet and sheets were clean, and the room didn't smell like mold or smoke or anything else you'd prefer not to smell. The bathroom was spacious, the tub was actually still white and there was a good supply of towels.

Dean dropped his duffle onto the bed nearest the door. He was restless, irritable and pissed. Bella didn't have the Colt and Sam had almost lost his eyes to the crazy past-dead surgeon. Then when he wouldn't give in and find out the secret to eternal life, Sam had been hurt and angry. Three hundred miles with sulking Sam wasn't fun.

He paced the room and waited for Sam to exit the bathroom. His watch said it was almost eleven, but he knew he wouldn't sleep. He needed to get drunk and he hoped Sam would join him.

The bathroom door swung open and Sam's brooding mood, poured into the room ahead of him. Dean sighed. Sam wasn't about to drink with him, but he'd try anyway.

"Hey Sammy, let's go out and get plastered. Maybe we can hustle some pool…with your current mood it'll be easy for you to pull off the pissed and drunken brother while I try to keep you from losing your last hundred dollars." He smiled and slapped his hand to his thigh. "Whatcha think?"

Sam frowned and ran a hand through his hair. "Dean. You have what, twelve days left and you want to get drunk and hustle pool?" He dropped onto the other bed. "We need to keep searching for a way out." He caught his brother's eyes. "We don't have any time left."

"Sam, I'm dying, me, and you know what? I want to get drunk, have fun…that's what I want and I want to do it with my little brother at my side."

He shook his head. "I can't Dean…I just can't do it."

Dean growled and spun on Sam. "Fine. I don't know when I'll be back. The bar's across the street, you want me, come get me." Dean dropped the Impala keys on the dresser, slid the room key into his pocket. Then he stomped to the door and pulled it open. "Don't wait up." He shot over his shoulder and then slammed the door behind him.

Sam sighed and yawned. Emotionally he was worn out and he definitely wasn't in the mood to watch his brother get drunk, play pool and flirt. He flopped back onto the bed, flinging one arm over his eyes. He planned on resting for a few minutes before grabbing coffee from lobby and starting on his research.

Sam work to Kill Hannah, the guitar riffs and then, "_I want a girl with lips like morphine. Knocks me out every time they touch me._" He managed to pull his phone from his pocket on, and answer on Mat Devine's next line, "_I wanna feel a kiss just crush me…"_

"Hey…" He smiled even as he settled back onto the bed more comfortably.

"Hey, you…what are you doing? Did I wake you? You sound sleepy, Sam."

He yawned. "I must've fallen asleep, but I didn't mean to. Thanks for waking me up." He stretched and pulled another pillow under his head. "How've been Kate? I miss you."

She giggled. "I've been fine, but I've missed you too." She sighed into the phone.

"You okay, you sound…off?" Sam asked concerned.

She murmured into the phone. "Fine, Sam…just had a bottle of wine with Ryan and I'm a little tipsy, but I feel really good, great actually. That's why I needed to talk to you."

His eyebrows drew together. "Huh? You know you lost me there…"

"Come on, baby…don't get lost now…I just got you on the phone." She paused and then she groaned softly. "I've been thinking about you Sam…I ever tell you how wine makes me feel?" She giggled again, a quiet, erotic purr. "You alone?"

Sam suddenly understood and a huge smile spread across his face. "Yeah, Dean's out. So this is a booty call?"

She chuckled again. "Mmm, call it what you want Sam, but I plan on making myself cum. You wanna help me out or just listen?"

He bit back the groan. "God Kate, when I first met you I never thought you were such a dirty girl."

"And I never knew you could talk so dirty you just about make me cum without even touching me."

Sam heard movement; Kate mumbled something and then a door closed. "You say something important?"

"No, I told Ryan to get his own sheets out of the closet. He's too drunk to drive."

Sam shook his head. "You really said all that in front of Ryan?"

"My head was on his chest, Sam." There was noise. "He thinks it's hot and he asked if he could watch. That's when I told him to get his own sheets and went to the bedroom."

Sam sighed and rolled his eyes. He was about to say something when Kate moaned into the phone, a deep husky sound and he almost dropped the phone. "Tell me what you're doing Kate."

"Hmm, I just took my shirt off and I'm playing with my nipples. God, Sam…they're hard under my fingers." She purred. "I'm just teasing under my bra. It's black and you can just see through the lace, mmm, yeah. Talk to me Sam…please…"

"Hang on, baby…let me get comfortable." Sam stood and stripped down to his boxer briefs. He turned down the bedspread and settled back down, pressing the speaker button and turning the volume to high. He set the phone on the pillow beside his head. "You ready?"

"Yeah…tell me what you want Sam…" She panted.

"Take off your bra, Kate…god, you're so beautiful." His eyes drifted closed. "Touch your breasts for me."

She moaned and Sam smiled. "I want to touch you so bad Kate…want to taste you…use my teeth to drive you crazy." His hand drifted over his chest. "Shit baby, I'm so hard right now, just thinking about you touching yourself like that. Does it feel good?"

Kate moaned, "God, yes…" She panted. "My hand's in my panties, Sam… I'm so wet…"

Sam's cock tightened and he reached into his briefs to palm himself. "Tease your clit, Kate…touch yourself and tell me what you're doing."

Another moan echoed into the phone and Sam growled as he stroked himself listening to Kate tell talk to him.

"So wet, god…that feels good, touching my clit, teasing around it in small circles," She whimpered. "Two fingers inside me now…wish it were you Sam…shit, I need you, want you so bad…"

Sam's hand was moving fast over his cock, then he paused to shove his briefs down. "I'm touching myself Kate, one hand teasing my balls while I stroke my hard cock with the other. I keep seeing myself in your mouth…ahhh, fuck yeah…" He thrust up into his hand. "Kate, get that pink vibrator…I want you to fuck yourself with it…" The thought of it made him shiver. The memory of her doing that made him gasp.

"Saaaammm, hold on…" She whined into the phone and then there was noise, then Sam heard the buzzing. "Oh, fuck…I wanna suck you off, baby..."

There was a wet sound and sucking. His breath caught. "Baby, you're sucking that pink cock aren't you…god, baby I wish I could see that…damn…" He closed his eyes, and imagined Kate on her knees and that pink dildo between her lips. He groaned and paused his stroking to tease the tip of his cock. His thumb and forefinger just barely moved over it as he panted.

"Mmm, baby you taste good, Sam…so good…I'm moving it down my chest, teasing my nipples with it…ahh, yeah…fuck, I'm so fucking close. Over my belly and yeah, Sam…gah…please…please…"

Sam smiled. "Fuck yourself with it Kate…slide it in nice and slow, just like I would. Tease you slow, till I couldn't go any further, do it Kate…slow…I wish I could be there, slide inside you right now, bury myself deep and hard. Then sit throbbing deep inside while you gripped my shoulders…yeah, Kate, fuck that feels so good." He jerked himself hard, thrusting against his hand.

"Sam, please…I need to cum…so close, fuck yeah…I'm fucking myself Sam, hard…in and out…oh hell yes…" Her voice rose and her words were hurried.

Sam tightened his grip and continued to move, he was close too. "Do it Kate…fuck yourself hard, cum for me Kate…yesss, Kate I'm so close gonna cum hard, really soon…please Kate, let me hear you cum…tell me baby."

Sam could hear her moans and small keening sounds and he knew she was doing it. He knew she was fucking herself with that hot pink vibrator.

"Sam, Sam…close…yeah…" She panted and then he heard her muffled voice keen. "Yes, fuck Sam…I'm cumming…"

Sam imagined the scene. Kate on her back, knees bent and legs spread. The pink vibrator in her hands thrusting in and out of her tight wetness as her body arched off the bed. Her breasts heaving and her head tossing to side to side. "Fuck Kate, yes…" Sam gripped hard, pulling himself and then exploded over his belly. He stroked himself through his aftershocks and then collapse onto the bed panting and smiling.

Kate purred, "You cum for me Sam?" She sighed softly and all but purred.

Sam picked up the phone and turned off the speaker. "Yeah baby, I did…I miss you." He really wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss her hair. He wanted to wrap himself around her and spoon behind her while they talked and laughed. He wanted to fall asleep only to wake up in a few hours and make love to her again.

She sniffed back a yawn. "Me too, so much…wish you were holding me."

"Me too…me too…"

"Thanks Sam, I really needed to hear you tonight." She yawned loudly this time. "I feel nice and sleepy."

He chuckled. "Then go to sleep Kate. I'll call you tomorrow."

"'Kay baby…I'll talk to you tomorrow. Good night."

"Night Kate…sleep tight and stay safe."

"You too, Sam…" She hung up.

He stood, flipping his phone closed and then dropping it to the bed as he moved toward the bathroom. He checked his watch, twelve fifteen. He wasn't tired. He showered quickly and dressed. He was feeling better and maybe a drink or two with his brother didn't sound so bad. He picked up the Impala's keys and then headed to the bar.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

_One Week Later…_

Bobby shook his head and threw the shirt at his niece. "Logan. So help me girl, I am going to turn you over my knee and spank some sense into you."

A small smile touched her lips as a memory skittered through her thoughts; green eyes, sparkling with teasing anger and a similar threat. She sighed. "Bobby, let it go."

"Logan. The two of you are so damned stubborn." He sighed and shook his head. He wish he knew what to say to get through to her. She'd refused even to speak about Dean since the last time they'd met up on one of Sam's _save Dean_ wild goose chases. "He's going to hell in less than a week Logan. Guess I kinda figured you two could set your shit aside for a few days."

She snorted and leveled her eyes on her uncle. "Look, I'll come with you, but only because I care about..." She left the last unfinished and swallowed back the emotion threatening to overwhelm her.

The old hunter nodded. He understood. "I already packed a duffle for you."

She spun on him and glared. Not that packing was difficult when you lived out of a car. "How'd you know I'd agree to go?"

He didn't bother lying. "Didn't matter, girl, I was gonna knock your ass out and tie you up if I had to."

She shook her head. "I'm driving myself."

He nodded. "Fine, but don't get lost."

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

She downshifted the Dodge and slid into the oncoming lane as she accelerated, easily passing the two cars and then darting over with room to spare. She smiled, glanced at the speedometer and dropped her speed to under ninety as she shifted back into third. She turned the music up and let it fill the car and her thoughts. She scrolled through the Mp3 player until she found Chevelle's_ Send the Pain Below._ The song suited her mood.

Her phone buzzed and she flipped it open to see the text from her uncle. "Slo, dn."

She rolled her eyes and tossed the phone back onto the seat. A quick glance to the clock at the GPS on the dashboard told her she had less than forty minutes before she arrived at her location. The familiar weight of desire and grief fluttered to life inside her and she shook her head. She had to focus.

It still hurt. She felt the pain every time she thought about him, but it was better. Hunting kept her busy and her mind occupied, which meant she didn't dwell much on her feelings or how screwed up everything between them was. She pushed the hair from her face with an agitated hand. It had been over a month since she'd seen him last.

_After New Mexico, she and Bobby had driven to Wisconsin to meet up with the boys. She pouted the entire time while she listened to Bobby harp on her driving. She knew he was grateful, they were both beat to hell, but his swollen left eye made it hard for him to see. By the time they found the Standing Pine Motor Lodge, she was unfit for companionship. Not only was she bruised and sore, but her PMS was in full swing and the long hours in the truck had left her cranky, hungry and tired._

_Sam had told Bobby they were staying in 245 and had rented out the adjoining 244. She kicked the door and waited for it to open. She needed to shower, eat and sleep: in that order, or she was going to do damage to something. When the door didn't open fast enough she kicked again. "Open the fucking door."_

"_Not so loud, Logan." Bobby grumbled beside her. "But so help me those two don't open the damn door I'm gonna shoot em full of salt."_

_Just then, the door opened and Sam appeared, bare-chested with a towel around his hips. "Sorry." He pointed to the towel. "Shower."_

_Logan pushed past him and into the room. Her eyes scanned the small space and her heart skipped when Dean didn't suddenly appear in front of her. She dropped her bags and moved to the kitchenette, where she pulled open the fridge, hoping to find a cold beer. She wasn't disappointed. Beer in hands she turned back toward Sam. _

_The beer cap flipped toward the trashcan, and fell to the floor. She took a long sip as she watched Sam emerge from the bathroom with his jeans on. "Where's your brother?"_

_Sam pointed to the door opposite the beds. "Figured he'd shower at the same time since we had both rooms." He took in the shape of the two hunters. "You two okay? Need anything patched up?"_

"_We're fine, Sam." Bobby grunted from his place on the bed nearest the door. He had his head on the pillow, eyes closed and ankles crossed. "Floor of the house was rotted and Logan and I did some renovations; big open ceiling on the first floor now."_

_Sam grunted and ran a critical eye over the two of them. "You sure?" He looked at Logan. She was pale and she looked more tired than usual. _

_She nodded and drank. She pointed to the adjoining door. "Me?"_

_Sam nodded. "I'll bunk with Bobby."_

_She gave him a smile that didn't reach her eyes and shouldered her bags again. "I'm starved. Plan to shower and then I need food."_

_Sam nodded and pulled a t-shirt over his head. "That's our plan, too. There's a diner two miles down the road that the owner recommended."_

_Her nod was her only response as she slid through the door._

_Dean was sprawled face down and naked on the bed. His hair was still wet and a damp towel lay loose across his ass. Logan could hear his soft snoring. _

_She ignored him and moved into the bathroom, pulling the door shut behind her. She ran the water, set her shampoo on the edge of the tub and pulled clean clothes from her bag. Then she looked in the mirror. She frowned at what she saw. Bruises bloomed across the right side of her face. She had a fat lip and she fingered the cut along the corner of her mouth. Her shoulder ached and she knew when she looked there would be a horrible bruise. Her knee was tender. She knew they were lucky; neither of them had broken anything._

_She stripped and stepped under the water with a sigh. She let the water relax her and then washed. The scent of cinnamon filled the bathroom replacing the still clinging scent of gasoline and smoke. She washed her hair twice and then stood back to the spray to let the heat soak into her aching muscles._

_A thrill of apprehension went up her spine. There was a sudden draft and she knew Dean was awake and in the bathroom. Water ran in the sink. She sighed and turned off the shower. Logan pulled the towel from the curtain rod and dried herself. The water wasn't running in the sink, but she felt his presence. It was heavy in the room. She wrapped the towel around herself, took a deep breath and pulled the curtain open._

_He stood facing her, arms over his chest and eyes full of evil. Finn smiled and let his eyes move over her. "Scream and that beautiful man out there will be dead before anyone arrives to help."_

_Logan shook her head, her body reacting the way it always did to seeing him. Adrenaline and fear pumped through her as the terror seeped in from her memories. She swallowed, forced the panic back and adjusted the towel around herself. "What do you want, Finley?"_

_His eyes watched her face as he reached out and ran his fingers across the tops of her breasts. "Seriously Logan, you grew into one sexy woman." He took a deep breath. "I can smell it on you. All that power just gathering inside you. It makes me want you." He rubbed at the fly of his jeans. "What do you think; one more time for old times sake?" He leered at her._

_An involuntary tremor ran up her spine. "Fuck off, Finn. Just tell me what the hell you want."_

_He laughed. "Oh, your fear makes it better Logan. You remember the last time? Oh, sweetheart you were so scared and so sweet, hell, that memory alone keeps me company some times." _

_She felt it then, the white-hot heat rise, like a glow from deep inside and the fear faded. She straightened and held a hand toward him. "Leave Finley."_

_He stared and the confidence in his eyes faltered. "I'm only here to pass on information."_

"_What?"_

"_Lilith is going to be in Indiana to celebrate." He stepped backward. "She'll be vulnerable. Her guard'll be down while she plays." _

"_I saw the future, Finley. There's no way I can stop it."_

_He shook his head. "You saw a future, sis. There's more than one way this can end." He glanced toward the bedroom. "Trust me. My old man isn't perfect, but he's right on this. You and Azazel's kid can kill that bitch."_

_She cocked her head to the side and felt the power rush through her. Her eyes misted clear, pale blue and she looked at her brother; she looked to see if he was lying. _

"_You believe that." She nodded. "Now get the hell out of here." _

_Bright white light, not unlike the flash from a camera, flashed in the small room and with a flicker of thought, she directed it at Finn. There was a gasp and he was gone. Almost immediately, a sound came from the room and the bathroom door flew open._

_Logan turned, hand still outstretched, eyes still eerily lit and power humming through her body. She blinked and shuddered._

_Dean stood naked in the doorway with his colt in hand; his face was full of confusion. "Logan?" He lowered his weapon. "What the hell…something was in the room; there's sulfur."_

_Logan dropped her hand and eyes. "Finn was here." When she looked back up, her eyes were normal and she moved past him._

_Dean grabbed her arm and glared down at her. "What the hell is going on Logan?"_

"_I don't know Dean, but I do know you need to let go of me." She smiled politely. "You didn't line the thresholds and you were passed out on the bed when I got here. I showered and I'm starving. That is all I know. Now, let me get dressed."_

"_And your brother?" Dean tightened his grip. "You wanna explain that?"_

_She sighed. "There isn't anything to explain. He told me that Lilith's gonna be in Indiana soon. That's all I know."_

_Dean blinked down at her. "He popped in to tell you where Lilith will be?"_

"_Yes." She yanked her arm away. "I'm hungry, I want to eat and I want to sleep. Now let go."_

"_Not yet." Dean pulled her against him and kissed her. "Not letting go of you just yet." He groaned as he kissed down her throat and pulled the towel from between them. "God…Logan…need you."_

She smiled and then frowned. They'd fucked then and then again the next morning. The only time they didn't growl at each other was when they were in bed. A shiver ran through her and her eyes closed for a brief second as heat coursed through her. She shook her head and focused. She didn't know if she could save him, but she still loved him, still wanted him. She needed to talk to Sam.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

She and Bobby arrived and tracked the boys to the abandoned house they holed up in. After the "hi, how are yous," Logan and Dean didn't speak to each other. Bobby helped the boys track Lilith to a small town in Indiana. New Harmony, Logan snorted thinking the name was a bit dramatic even for a demon. She sighed and watched the boys argue about summoning some demon bitch named Ruby. Her head fell back onto the dirty couch and then Sam stalked off, sulking.

Bobby sat with Dean, drank a couple of beers and then made one last mad search for something, anything that might help. Dean disappeared for a while and Logan must have dozed because the next thing she knew Dean was hovering over her and pulling her from the couch.

Down the hall, he dragged her. She didn't protest, knew what was coming and she wouldn't fight it. He maneuvered them through the only room with a door. It was a small room, probably once a laundry room or bathroom, but there wasn't anything in it except an old dresser.

He didn't speak, but he held her face in his hands and looked at her. He stared at her like he was trying to memorize every line and every freckle. Then he kissed her even as his hands pulled her clothes from her body.

She moaned into his mouth and frantically began to tug his clothes off. They broke the kiss only long enough to toss shirts and pants and then they were together again.

Dean's touch was frenzied, but gentle. It wasn't like the last time when they'd met up in Wisconsin. There wasn't a trace of anger as he kissed her and touched her knowing it would be the last time. Logan thought he was savoring the taste of her, the feel of her and she prayed he could keep it with him forever…this one memory to get him through an eternity in hell.

Logan sobbed, as she pulled him tight against her and when he lifted her to the edge of the dresser and slid inside, she gripped his shoulders with a shout. Her nails dug into the smooth, firm muscles of his back and she opened her eyes. She opened her sight, letting her see his soul.

His aura flamed red. The bright clear red of sexual passion and the deep dark red of his strong will and desire to survive. She watched his eyes as he pulled back to see her body, to watch as they thrust into each other. She saw his love, he could deny it all he wanted, but she knew. She felt it shoot through her, an electric shock of power and then his aura flared bright pink.

Dean watched her eyes change and she knew he knew what she was doing, that she could see everything he was feeling. She watched the love swell and then in one wave he felt the emotion of it crash over him. He pulled her to him and kissed her mouth, her jaw, down her neck to her ears. He teased and kissed, his motions gaining urgency as they moved together.

She felt herself quiver around him as her hands gripped and released his shoulders. She sobbed and pressed her cheek to his, her tears on his face.

He thrust, his hands holding her face, eyes on hers, he groaned out, "Logan, I love you." Then he came.

She collapsed into him, let him hold her and gather her against him. They stayed that way, connected, body, mind and spirit. She cried and gripped him. She wanted to beg him not to leave, to run, and to take her with him. She needed him with her; he was part of who she was. She didn't beg though, she knew it wouldn't do any good. She knew from the moment she started this relationship that they couldn't be together that some how they wouldn't be together. She always knew that one way or the other they'd end up apart. Happy didn't happen to either of them.

Dean gripped her, both of them unwilling to move, to give up the moment just yet. He pressed her head to his chest and whispered into her hair, repeating soft words of love over again. He told her he loved her and needed her and that she would be with him forever. This moment, right now would help him survive and endure.

Logan pulled back, her eyes deep blue again, "Dean, I love you…I love you so damn much."

He smiled and wiped tears from her cheeks. He nodded. "I know." He smirked, "How couldn't you?"

She gave him a wet, slightly sad smile. As much as she wanted a touching moment she knew it wasn't Dean, wasn't them. "Yeah, you're a great catch you know." She gave him a wink and kissed him gently. "I mean what girl wouldn't want a guy with today's date stamped across his ass?"

"Cute…" He nuzzled into her neck and then sighed. "I'd like to stay here for the next several hours I think, but…"

Logan stiffened and shook her head.

"What?" Dean pulled back, already reaching for his clothes and pulling on his jeans.

"Demon…here…" Logan held her head and nodded. "In the building."

"Shit Sam, I knew you'd do it, you stubborn idiot…" Dean pulled his shirt on and buttoned it as he pulled the door open. "He summoned Ruby."

Logan nodded and dressed. "Go."

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

They arrived in New Harmony, aka demon central. Logan helped Bobby with the sprinklers while Dean and Sam made their way into the house. Logan felt her. She could feel Lilith, inside the body that she birthed and part of her hummed from it. It was almost painful. She also knew when Lilith felt her presence. There wasn't a hex bag in the world strong enough to squelch the connection between them.

Logan realized Lilith knew. She knew they were there and it terrified her. She turned to Bobby.

"Lilith knows…she knows they're here and coming for her."

Bobby watched his niece. "How you know that?"

She looked to him, her eyes pale. "I can feel it. She wasn't afraid until she felt me here." She shook her head and nodded. "Now she's terrified."

Bobby scratched at his head and watched the demons gather. "As soon as the alarm's raised every demon on the block is gonna be here."

"I know. You need to get that sprinkler system working." She opened the door.

"Holy fuck, Logan…what the hell?" Bobby reached for her arm. "You can't just go out there; they'll be on you in seconds."

She shook her head. "I can handle them."

Logan moved off the porch and then crossed the street toward the boys.

Several demons saw her and turned. They moved quickly toward her. She smiled and let the raw power flow through her. She felt it crackle around her.

Logan lifted her right hand and whispered one word, "Kela." One by one as they moved toward her, and dropped as black smoke poured from their mouths and streamed into the sky.

Bobby watched from the porch. She almost glowed as a dull, diffuse light surrounded her. The demons didn't have a chance. He moved to the first body and bent to check the pulse; dead. He frowned and checked the next. This one was alive. He pulled the woman into the yard and glanced at his watch. In just a few minutes, the sprinkler system was due to turn on.

Logan moved quickly, following the path the boys had taken around the house. She didn't see Dean, but caught up with Sam.

"You two alright?"

Sam spun and grabbed her arm, the bloody knife in his hand glistening darkly in the limited light. "Shit, Logan…fuck, I almost hurt you."

Logan ignored him and pulled free. "Where's Dean?"

Sam motioned to the side of the house, and then they heard a grunt and a voice.

Sam moved and Logan followed.

Ruby had Dean pressed against the fence, "I'd like my knife back please, or your neck snaps like a chicken bone."

Almost before she even finished, Sam had the knife in question at her throat. "He doesn't have it. Take it easy." He pulled her from Dean and pushed her back.

Dean turned, panting. "How the hell you'd get out?"

Ruby glared and stared at him. "What you don't know could…"

Logan moved forward. "I let her out." She smirked at Ruby and shook her head. "Trust me, she's not that good."

Dean growled as he shook his head as he pointed to Logan. "You're supposed to be with Bobby?" What are you doing?"

Logan cocked an eyebrow at him. "Hopefully saving your stubborn ass."

He glared at her. "I told you no Logan. Sam's not going there." He pointed behind him to Ruby and Sam. He was angry. "I told Sam, I told Ruby…I won't let Sam risk his soul for me."

He glanced back to Ruby and then pulled a face, "Whoa."

Ruby rolled her eyes and glared. "What?"

Dean looked away, toward Logan and they exchanged glances. "Nothin, I just ah, ah, I couldn't see you before," he gave an exaggerated shudder, "but you are one ugly broad." He avoided looking directly at her.

Ruby gave an exasperated sigh, rolled her eyes and turned to Sam. "Sam, give me the knife before you hurt yourself."

Sam shook his head. "You'll get the knife when this is over."

"It's already over." She shook her head and motioned to Logan. "She tried to tell you and I tried to give you a way to save Dean, you shot me down. Now it's too late." Her eyes shot to Dean for a split second. "He's dead and I'm not gonna let you die too."

Sam's jaw tightened and his eyes went hard and cold. "Try and stop me and I'll kill you…bitch."

Ruby smiled, egging Sam on. "Hit me with your best shot, baby."

Standing beside Dean, Logan pointed into the front yard.

Dean turned, "Guys! Guys, have your little catfight later." He stared through the gate.

Demons were everywhere, watching them from the other houses.

Logan smiled. "So much for the element of surprise…"

Sam started shoving at them as he opened the gate. "Go, run, run…"

They ran.

Sam worked the lock while the other stood guard.

"What the hell's takin Bobby?" Dean asked in exasperation as demons ran at them from everywhere.

Sam glanced to Dean, his open fear on his face. Terrified. "I'm trying…"

Then the sprinkler system kicked on and caught several demons. They screamed as it burned them. The others stood just on the other side of the water growling.

Dean laughed as Sam and the others moved into the house.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

Dean and Ruby cleared the lower floor while Sam and Logan worked on the second. Sam found them; in the girl's room. Lilith was asleep curled on the woman's chest, the mother terrified as she stared up at the strange man with a knife.

"Do it." She whispered harshly, her breathing coming in deep, long pants. "Do it." She mouthed at him.

Sam could feel it, the woman's desperation, her pain, her fear. He could actually taste it. He was edgy, almost vibrating with power and the need to hurt and punish. He wanted to lash out, but this was a little girl.

Tears wet the woman's face. "Do it." The girl stirred.

Sam hesitated. He wanted Dean alive, he wanted it, but again, this was a girl. He raised the knife, steeling himself.

"Do it, hurry…do it."

The little girl suddenly sat up and screamed.

Sam pulled the knife higher and began the downward arc, but was stopped when someone grabbed his arm.

Logan, eyes pale, held his arm. "It's not her. It's not her anymore." She released Sam's arm as he nodded.

He stood staring at Logan with relief and pain on his face. There wasn't much time and Lilith was missing. They needed to find her and kill her and they needed to do it now.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

Logan moved the woman and the daughter into the basement. The little girl stared up at her and took her hand. A pain seized Logan's heart so fiercely she felt it as a physical ache and her other hand gripped her chest. She glanced down to the girl and blinked back tears. She could see the reason Lilith used this body. There was nothing but complete emptiness in her aura: cold, dark and completely unnatural. Even without Lilith, the girl was horrifying.

She pulled her hand from the girl's grasp. She caught the mother's eyes and gripped her shoulder tight. "You should be fine as long as you stay inside the circle of salt. You have to stay inside the salt lines and make sure they're not broken." She waited for the woman to nod.

The woman grabbed Logan's arm. "Thank you, you'll never know how much this all means."

Logan nodded and encouraged the woman to move down the stairs then she pushed the door closed and added a line of salt across the threshold of the basement door.

She moved toward the room where she heard the boys.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

Ruby wouldn't help and even if she would Dean wasn't about to let her.

Logan moved into the room and grabbed Sam as he screamed at Ruby. "Don't listen to her, Sam. We can do this…somehow, we can do it."

Dean shook his head and pulled Sam away from Ruby. His sad eyes moved between Logan and his brother.

"Dean…Dean, I'm not going to let you go to hell!" Sam yelled, fighting with his brother as he tried to calm him down.

"Yes you are!" Dean screamed and waited for Sam to calm enough to listen.

Sam stared, hurt and anger on his face. Emotion poured from him in waves as he stood trying to catch his breath and slow his already broken heart. He was shaking.

"Yes you are." He looked to Logan. "Both of you will. I'm sorry..." Dean shook his head. "I mean this is all my fault, I know that."

Sam's eyes began to tear. He didn't want to cry, he wasn't ready to give up. The look on his brother's face made it worse. Dean's determination to die was breaking his heart.

Logan shook her head and wiped at her tears. "Dean, please…let us try."

His hands fisted and he shook his head. He looked to Logan. "What you're doing, what Sam will need to do… it's not gonna save me…" Dean forced back his own tears and looked up at his little brother. "It's only gonna kill you."

Sam swallowed his own tears, his voice angry and bitter. "Then what am I supposed to do? What are we supposed to do?"

A small smile, eyes shone with pride. "Keep fighting…take care of my wheels…" He nodded and watched his brother.

The knife twisted in Sam's heart but his mouth lifted just a bit as he fought back his tears.

Logan stood beside him, her hand in Sam's. She gripped it tight and pressed against his side. She couldn't fight the tears or the small, desperate sobbing.

Dean nodded tensely. "Sam, remember what Dad taught you, 'kay?"

Sam nodded.

"And remember what I taught you."

Sam nodded again.

"Logan." He reached for her and pulled her into his arms. "God, Logan…" He kissed the top of her head and gripped her tight. "You keep fighting too. Watch out for that old man…" He pulled back and tilted her head up to see her eyes. "You remember what I taught you too…" He swallowed the thickness in her throat.

Logan sobbed up at him, but nodded. "Please…let me…"

Dean didn't let her finish, just bent and pressed his lips to hers and kissed her desperately.

The clock chimed.

Sam looked to Dean and watched his older brother smile, resigned.

Logan stepped back, as Ruby spoke.

"I'm sorry Dean…I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy." She shook her head coldly.

Sam and Logan were both openly crying as they watched Dean suddenly pale, and his eyes shifted to the right.

"Hellhound."

Sam looked around. "Where?"

Dean stared toward the doorway. "There."

Ruby and Logan both turned. Logan's mouth dropped open and then Dean ran into the kitchen, the others followed. They pushed the French doors shut and Logan bent to line the threshold with goofer dust, then she turned to do the same to the window.

Ruby spun on Sam as Dean stared at the door. "Give me the knife, maybe I can fight it off."

Sam was confused. "What?"

Anger crept into her voice. "Come on! That dust won't last forever."

Sam looked to the knife and then turned it over, blade down as he moved it toward Ruby.

"Wait!" Dean shouted just as Logan finished laying the dust across the windowsill.

"You wanna die?" Ruby asked sarcastically.

Logan moved beside Dean and she looked to the other couple. "That's not Ruby." She almost whispered.

Dean's eyes were wide and he nodded as Sam turned to look at them. "It's not Ruby."

Sam's face darkened and lifted the knife to strike, but was then thrown against the wall, the knife falling from his hand.

One hand motion later and Dean was sprawled out across the kitchen table.

Dean struggled, tried to move and couldn't. He lifted his head. He saw Logan. "How long you been in her?" He asked trying to distract Lilith.

Logan moved quietly, trying to stay out of the demon's line of sight as she shifted toward the knife.

Lilith writhed in Ruby's body, her eyes shifting to white as she smiled. "Not long." She dropped her eyes in an almost demure and innocent way as she looked down at the body. "But I like it. It's all grown up and pretty."

Sam leaned forward. "Then where's Ruby?"

"She's been a very bad girl, so I sent her far, far away." She cracked her neck and smiled.

Dean fought the energy holding him and gave Lilith a cocky smile. "I should've seen it before…but you all look the same to me." He smirked at her.

Lilith turned sharply, facing Logan who was inches from the knife. She held out her hand and then raised it, dragging Logan's body up the wall until she was beside Sam.

"Hello, Mommy…I've wanted to meet you forever…you tried to kill me before and you didn't succeed. What makes you think you could this time?" She pressed close into Logan and then ran her tongue up her cheek. "Were you really going to just stab me?" She shook her head and pouted. "That wouldn't be very nice."

Logan spit into the demon's face. "Go to hell, bitch."

Lilith laughed and wiped the spit from her cheek and eye before turning to Sam. "And Sam, I've wanted to meet you for a very long time, too." She watched his face and then gripped his jaw as she stood up on her toes and kissed him, forcing her tongue into his mouth.

Sam fought and tried to pull his mouth from hers, but he was pinned and couldn't move.

Dean watched in confusion from the table.

She pulled back and stared up into his face, "Your lips are soft."

Sam pulled his head to the side and closed his eyes. Again, something had happened, some sort of power exchange between him and the demon, very similar to what he'd felt when he'd kissed Logan. Things came to him; power flooded and rushed through him.

"Alright, so you have me." He pulled his head from her hands. "So let my brother go."

"Silly goose, if you want to bargain you have to have something that I want…tsk, tsk…you don't."

"So, is this your big plan, huh?"

Lilith glanced to Dean, not seeing Sam and Logan exchange glances. She didn't see Logan's hand move to Sam's, she didn't see the spark of power that flashed when their fingers touched.

Dean smart mouthed from the table again. "Drag me to hell, kill Sam and then what? Become Queen Bitch?" He struggled.

She smiled at him coldly, "I don't have to answer to puppy chow…" She almost giggled as she ran a hand down Sam's chest and then moved to the door. She pulled it open with a grin and a laugh, "Sick em boys…"

The hellhounds moved into the room, rushing toward Dean. Logan could see them and now so could Sam and terror filled Sam's eyes as they pulled Dean from the table.

Logan's head fell forward as Sam's pressed back into the wall with a groan. Then Logan's voice, flowed loud in the room and resonant with power. "Lasta, Nadorhuanrim."

The growling dogs paused and turned toward Logan, they growled low, deep and with menace. Huge and ugly, demonic, only called hounds because they roughly resembled dogs. Skin peeled from muscle's, hair course and sparse, eyes glowed red and a huge mouth filled with shiny razor teeth. Saliva dripped from their jaws in huge frothy clumps. Each hound easily over two hundred pounds and designed to kill and carry souls to hell.

Logan lifted her head. "Dina! N'ndengina ho.

Lilith stared in amazement and then turned to Logan. "Unguer, mani naa lle umien?

Logan smiled and shook her head, her hand freer and she gripped Sam's hand. Again, power surged through her and the pressure holding her gave. Together she and Sam slid from the wall. Logan glanced to Dean. He was hurt, but he was alive.

She shook her head at Lilith. "You think you're stronger than me? You don't even know do you?" She stepped past the hellhounds and smiled as they whined at her viciously.

"Know what? That you're a cocky bitch who thinks she's beaten me?" Lilith shook her head. "I haven't even begun to play you know?"

Logan glanced to Sam and then watched Lilith. "Yeah, maybe if you would've stayed inside that body you stole from me. Maybe, just maybe you'd have a bit more power over me right now. Do you know who my father is?"

Lilith's eyes drew together. "McCree? He was an idiot, thought he knew what he was doing, but he didn't have a clue." She laughed. "He's how I ended up with that pretty little daughter of yours. You're right though, that body has power."

Logan laughed and nodded. "It does, but it isn't because of Owen McCree…he was just the vessel." She quirked up an eyebrow, "You really don't have any idea do you?"

Lilith rolled her eyes, crossed her arms and stomped her foot. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Iaoth."

Lilith shivered. "What about him?"

Logan smiled and nodded. "He's my father, you bitch." Logan held out her hand and let her eyes blur to crystal blue. She felt the power surge through her and she focused. A flash of pure power pulsed through the room, centered completely on Lilith.

The energy hit the demon and she laughed. "Oh, that did sting a little, but sorry girlfriend…you just aren't more powerful than a full fledged high powered demon."

Lilith lifted her hand and slid it to the side. Logan stumbled, and fell to a knee. The demon frowned and then raised her hand toward Sam. She managed to slow them, but they were both still moving.

She looked to the hounds. "Sana ho."

The hounds growled and moved over Dean. They tore into him.

With a scream, Logan reached for Sam and pulled him into a kiss, purposely grinding their lips together to break flesh. A cold electric shock pulsed through her and she pulled back. "Now Sam!"

Reciting Latin, Sam shook his head and raised his hand. He felt the power, the pure essence of Logan's strength pour through him, it was overpowering and he felt weak from it. Energy pulled through the room, but the hounds were already on Dean. He was hurt, and he was dying. Sam could see the wounds. He knew they were fatal, his chest was in shreds, and his intestines were spilling from his belly. Blood and air bubbled from his throat.

A flash of energy and then Lilith and the hounds were gone. Black smoke filtered up and out of the house as Ruby's body fell to the floor beside Dean's unmoving one. She was dead.

Logan fell to the floor beside Dean as Sam stood watching. She reached out a hand to touch him and then pulled it back, unable and unsure how or if to touch him. They'd been so close, but they weren't able to kill her. She'd taken him from them. She sobbed, her hand finally settled on his hand, one small section of his skin that wasn't shredded.

Sam sank to his knees, tears on his face, lip quivering in pain and sorrow. He'd lost his big brother, his strength, his touchstone. Dean kept things real, he kept Sam stable, Dean kept Sam safe and made sure he wasn't too single minded. He lost the last member of his family. He was alone. Demons and evil had taken everything from him.

He glanced to Logan as she sobbed, the sound so heartbreaking and then he looked down at his brother even as he lifted his head and looked into his lifeless eyes. "No…no…" he sobbed, tears choking him. "No, Dean…" Tears fell.

Logan stood anger and pain making her unstable. She moved to the sink and vomited. Then she spun, picked up a glass and hurled against the wall. She needed to hurt something and she ran from the house, out into the yard.

A few demons still hovered. Most had left, but Logan didn't care. One attacked and she fought. She managed to wound the woman mortally and only then, did she raise her hand and use her power to send the demon out. She wasn't fighting, she was killing and she was out of control.

She'd killed three other host bodies before Bobby reached her. When his hand found her shoulder she turned, swinging, but he ducked and swept her feet out from under her.

He pinned her to the ground with his body. "Logan, stop it!" He screamed at his niece. "I know you're hurting, but stop it."

She went suddenly still and then sobbed. When Bobby pulled her into his arms, she went willingly, letting the old man give what little comfort he could. She held him and cried even while he cried.

"Shh, we need to take care of Dean, Logan. Sam's gonna need our help. He can't do it on his own and we can't let him if he tries."

She nodded against his chest and swallowed her pain. "Fine."

They found Sam in the kitchen, Dean still in his arms. His tears had stopped, and a cold, determined expression was now in the place of him grief. He was talking to Dean as he stared blankly into the room.

"I'll find a way, Dean." He held the limp body and rocked. "I'll find a way to bring you back…I know there's a way…somewhere…I'll deal, I'll beg, I'll fucking do whatever it takes."

Bobby knelt beside Sam, his hand on the younger hunter's shoulder. "Come on son, we need to get out of here."

Sam shrugged Bobby's hand off.

Bobby sighed and reached to lift Dean from the floor only to find himself shoved onto his ass and Sam leaning over him.

"Don't touch him." Sam's voice was full of threat and cold. "Don't fucking touch him."

Bobby held up a hand. "Sam I know you're hurting because I am too. He was like a son to me." He motioned to Logan as he got to his feet. "She's hurting too, but we need to move before the authorities get here. How we gonna explain this?" He wiped at his own tear-filled eyes. "We need to take care of Dean's body Sam. We need to do it."

Sam glared and pulled Dean tighter against his chest. He shook his head. "No Bobby…no…I'll deal with it myself. He's my responsibility…my brother." He lifted Dean gently as he stood. "I'll find a way Dean…I'll find a way to bring you back."

Dean's head shifted and fell limp, dangling over Sam's forearm as he carried him past Logan. She gasped and cried out, crumbling to the ground as she sobbed.

Bobby's arms slid around her. "Come on, Logan…let's get out of here. It's over now." He pulled her from the ground and followed Sam out into the cold night.

_**Note:**_

Okay, so this is the last chapter of Sparring Session. I hope you all enjoyed it and like I've said before I plan on a sequel, so you'll see the characters again. After this chapter though, I do plan on posting a little teaser chapter after this. It won't be long, kind of a prologue to the next story. I figure I'll introduce the new story title. I'll probably post it here and as the first chapter of the new story. That way if you want to read the next one, it will be easy for you to track down.

Thanks to EVERYONE who read and reviewed, and even to those of you who only read. I appreciate each reader and all of my reviewers. Don't feel shy to drop me a review, or a PM, I always love hearing from my readers. So, let me know what you thought and/or any ideas you have.

The next story will be darker, but remember; Kripke didn't keep Dean dead, and neither will I…

_Lasta, Nadorhuanrim_ - Listen cowardly dogs.

_Dina! N'ndengina ho - _Quiet, don't kill him.

_Kela_ - Go away.

_Unguer, Mani naa lle umien -_ Hollow one, what are you doing?

_Sana ho - _Take him.


	91. Coda: Until the World Dies

Okay this is also listed as the first chapter for Until the World Dies. If you read it there...no need to read it here. If you like it check out the other story and add it to your alert.

**Until the World Dies**

_About two weeks after Dean dies…_

Sam drank. He drank to forget and so he wouldn't remember. He drank to avoid feeling anything. He'd tried the crossroads demon, they wouldn't deal, no one would talk to him, help him. He didn't even want a deal, just to trade places with Dean.

His phone rang again and he didn't answer it. He knew it was either Bobby or Kate. He didn't want to talk to either of them. He'd spent some time with Bobby, but after they'd buried Dean, well he'd started to feel smothered. Kate, he went to see her right after he left Bobby. He spent time with her, but realized he was pulling her down, and taking a lot out of her. After two days in Colorado, he left.

They had talked a couple of times after that, but he couldn't do it anymore. Talking to her hurt, she was so sweet to him and he didn't want sweet. He wanted to wallow in his hurt. He wanted to feel punished. He hadn't answered her calls in almost two weeks, his hand drifted to the leather bag still hanging around his neck. It hung there, Dean's amulet safe inside now, and he wished it would do its job; actually make him feel safe.

He titled back the bottle of Jack and frowned when nothing poured into his mouth. He looked at it, a little cross-eyed, and then hurled it at the side of the building with a curse. He wasn't numb enough to stop drinking, but he wasn't sober enough to do anything more about it. He glanced to his knuckles. They were covered in blood, he was pretty sure one was broken. It hurt, he didn't care.

He hadn't been hunting, only trying to find away to bring Dean back. It was killing him and he knew it. He was okay with that too. He didn't deserve to live, not if Dean was gone…he just didn't deserve it. He failed his brother and it broke his heart.

He spent his time drinking, working out and fighting, in fact, he'd been fighting pretty regularly. He fought all comers; he fought four or five guys at a time. He didn't care when he got hurt. He liked it, the physical pain somehow burying the emotional pain. He pushed himself off the side of the car, glancing back at her smooth, dark shape with a frown. He trailed a hand over the hood and down the line of the trunk. She reminded him of Dean and the knife twisted in his heart once more as he moved toward his room.

"Sorry Dean…so fuckin sorry, man… I couldn't save you, we couldn't do it…were close, but couldn't do it…can't do it now…" He stumbled and staggered up the stairs, like a pinball through the hall. It would be the same tonight. Pass out on the bed or the couch, sleep, wake, and then vomit. He'd run then, work up a sweat and force all the alcohol from his blood. Then he'd punish himself with push-ups, chin-ups and sit-ups until he could barely move. As soon as it was late enough he'd be drinking again.

He pushed the door closed behind him and then realized that tonight wasn't the same. This was the night he was ambushed. He looked her in the eye and prayed she would do it. He wanted it to end, but it was Ruby, she saved him and things changed…so many things changed.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

Logan spun and the machete sunk deep into the vampire's neck. The vampire fell, hurt but not dead. The knife stuck halfway in his neck. She laughed morbidly. It always amazed her how people thought it was easy to behead someone. Even fully sharpened, if you didn't strike with the knife blade perpendicular to the neck, or it slammed into one of the vertebra the blade would stick. She pressed her foot into the thing's chest and yanked back hard, to dislodge the blade.

The being struggled, pushed at her foot as it lay there bleeding on the dirty floor. She smiled, lifted the knife and struck once and then again before the head lolled free. She stood over the body, panting, her eyes glazed over with anger. The thing had killed an entire family of five, including the nine-month-old baby girl. She kicked the head and it spun away into the shadows.

Blood clung to her, some on her face and arms. She knew she didn't have any open cuts. She was careful. She moved out of the dilapidated house, found the kerosene in her trunk and then burned the place down.

As the house burned, she sat in the car, head resting heavy on the steering wheel as she watched the flames. She didn't stop the tears. This was when the emotion caught up to her. Out of habit, she tucked hair behind her ear. She knew it needed cut and she made a note to do it soon. She sighed and started the car. She already had her next hunt lined up, and the next, and the one after that. She didn't plan on stopping until something out there made her stop.

She fumbled on the seat beside her until she found the phone. Five missed calls, two voicemails and several text messages. She knew Sam was alive. He would text her from time to time, and she'd text back. Neither of them gave any info on location. Sam's always said, "drnk n brethn," and she'd always send back, "Stll hnting". Bobby would call and she'd text him back, she refused to speak to him. He begged her too though.

Ignoring the text messages for now, she dialed voicemail and hit the speaker button. The first call was Bobby.

"_Checking in on you Logan and I'd wish you'd call me. I'm worried about you and Sam too. You heard from him yet, cause I still haven't. Don't rightly know if he's alive or dead. If you're not gonna call, please send me a message, girl. I really want to see, Logan. Miss you and I love you. Stay safe."_

She hit the key to delete and let the second message play.

"_Hey Logan, just wanted to tell you I already miss you. Take care of yourself baby and watch out for my little brother will you, oh and Bobby too. That old man needs someone to check in on him every once in awhile. Just stay safe and remember everything I said, baby…everything." _ There was a pause, a hitching sob and then. _ "Okay, you understand? Bye, Logan."_

A small sob passed her lips and she wiped at her eyes as the voicemail scrolled through her options. She didn't listen; she knew by heart what key to hit to "Save to Inbox". She saved the voicemail and sent a text to Bobby. Just let him know she was alive and what she'd done. She knew he'd track her, but she'd be two states away before he got close. She let the phone drop to the seat and put the car in gear. She was tired and the GPS told her she had one hundred odd miles to go before she could rest.

Rob Zombie's, _Living Dead Girl_ blared through the speakers, she shifted and spun the tires out in the gravel as she headed toward her next hunt.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

Bobby put the empty bottle on the table, sliding aside four or five others in the way. He felt so old, older than he had in years. He wiped a hand over his face and grabbed another bottle from the wooden crate on the kitchen floor before moving back to the living room. He settled down in front of the computer and typed in he information Logan had texted him, looking for a clue to where she was. It didn't take him long to find the story of a family of five slaughtered in their home. She was in Montana, but he knew that by now she was already moving on. Where, he had no idea.

He hadn't heard from Sam in a long time, though a few weeks ago, Logan had told him that she'd gotten a text from him. Bobby had faith the boy was still alive. He had to hold onto that, because if he didn't he'd break. John, Dean and Sam…it would be too much and he knew it. He sighed and slumped into the hard wood chair. He opened the liquor bottle and drank. He knew there wasn't enough alcohol to numb the pain in his heart, but it did help him not care, even if it was only for an hour or two.

He'd been on the phone with Kate earlier. She was scared and worried. Sam wouldn't answer and he wouldn't call. He drank more and closed his eyes. He'd told her that Logan got a message from him a few weeks ago, but that no one had heard anything since. He'd promised to call her if he heard anything and then he asked if she'd heard from Logan. She hadn't. They had said goodbye.

Bobby went back to researching his next hunt.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

Taylor Swift's _Tim McGraw _played on the jukebox and Kate sighed, flipped the phone closed and slipped it into her pocket. She leaned forward; both elbows resting on the bar and let her head hang. She was hurt and angry, but she also understood. She knew what it was like to lose the last of your family and feel alone in the world. She just wished she could be there to help. According to Bobby, Sam had just disappeared after Dean died. Logan was off hunting and while she hadn't called, she at least texted him.

Right after Dean died; Sam had come to see her. He only spent two days with her. They'd holed up in her apartment, mostly in her bed. She let him grieve, knew he needed it. He hadn't said much, but he'd cried and he'd been angry. They'd even fought some, but he'd left on decent terms, still hurting and in Kate's opinion, broken.

A glass of white wine appeared beside her hand and she smiled.

"Thanks Ryan."

"Anytime Katie…anytime," he shoved her shoulder as he claimed the stool beside her. "Still not taking your calls, huh?"

She looked up and shifted her head in his direction. "Nope, talked to Bobby and he said Logan gets a text from him every once in awhile. Just enough of a message to let her know he's alive."

Ryan frowned and drank his beer as he watched the girl beside him. He sighed, "Kate, I'm really sorry."

She smiled and picked up the wine glass. "For what?"

"That you're hurting." He played with the label on his beer bottle. "I know how much you like him."

She rolled her eyes and snorted. "Hey, I like him, but it's not like we had anything more than a really hot week or so." She sipped her wine, letting it roll on her tongue before she swallowed. "I just kinda hoped that there might be something more."

"Yeah, it's really sad about Dean and all. He was a great guy, I liked both those boys." He took a long drink from his bottle. "You heard from Logan at all?"

"No, she won't answer either." She sighed. "She's really hurting too, she loved him."

"I know." He rolled his shoulders and finished his beer. "You gonna spend the night at my place again or you want me to crash with you?"

"Your place tonight." She swallowed, there were memories at her place, and she wasn't in the mood to deal with them right now. "What you got to watch?"

Ryan smiled and slid his beer bottle across the bar, catching it with one hand and then pushing back to his other hand. "Well, are you in the mood for some sexy Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson, because I have _Fool's Gold_. " He held up a hand, "I know it's not award winning cinema and all, but dirty-sexy McConaughey can make up for a multitude of sins." He waggled his eyebrows at her and winked.

She giggled and finished off her wine. She stood and straitened her t-shirt. She grabbed Ryan's hand and pulled him from his stool as she slipped an arm around his waist. She sighed when he draped an arm over her shoulder. "You know, it's a good thing we agree on our choice of men." She slapped his ass. "Don't you think Kate Hudson's a little hot, though?"

Ryan gasped and slapped a hand over his heart as he pulled back a little and stared at her in shock. "Oh, pahleeze…" He cocked his head and waved a finger at her as he lisped his next lines. "I'm a gay man, honey…I'm not into you girls."

She rolled her eyes, "Oh, for heaven sake, Ryan. You like men, but I've know you like women too, so cut it out." She shoved his chest, "And don't go all flamer on me now. You're my best friend and I refuse be classified as a fag hag."

He laughed and pulled her against him in a big hug, before he bent her over his arm and kissed her soundly on the lips. He straitened them up and pulled back, just keeping his arm over her shoulder. "I'm just waiting for you to realize that I'm the man of your dreams baby." He herded her toward the door. "Besides, I'd defend your honor to my grave."

She smiled, willing to pretend, for now at least, that she wasn't missing and terribly worried about Sam. "Let's go drool over McConaughey, then."

_**Note:** Okay, thanks for reading and for everyone who read ALL the way through Sparring Sessions. I hope you enjoy the start. Just setting the scene. The first parts of this story are going to focus alot on Sam and the others and what was going on while Dean was in hell. We'll get a peek at Dean too, but not quite yet. _

_You know the muse is picky and she likes to hear from you, so bring it on. The good and the bad. The action will start soon....  
_


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